REVOLUTION - Story - Season 13 Commentary

This season was the last of SSQ 1. It is sort of a sad, bitter piece of work. Due to constant rehashing of the same concepts, this season comes off as played out and weak; it requires some first aid to even speak as it is. But now I will do the morbid duty of explaining it. First, let's recap everything that happens.

Plot Summary

The old Stadium from the past season inexplicably exploded, so a new one has been built. Also Bowser and Ganondorf are back. We don't hear from them, however. The Bigger Room has basically been abandoned, as has any real attempt to place importance on any one room in HQ. A great new fighting league with many people is made; it includes Smashers and Questers.

Taking advantage of the new Quester-accessible warp room, Panzer leads the group to Morph Moth's junkyard. There, a strange man by the name of Dr. Proctor is encountered. He says some words, revives Morph Moth perfectly, and vanishes. The Questers then find Zero, who has been injured by Dr. Proctor--the doctor failed to revive him twice. Instead, Zero turns into an energy vampire when revived the third time, as Dr. Proctor had simply stepped off screen rather than away entirely.

Zero is eventually stopped by Panzer and the group holding him down and creating a feedback reaction by stabbing his energy-stealing sword into his energy-stealing core. The group departs, and Panzer discovers more about the self-proclaimed 'reviver.' He was once employed by some sort of super-tech person... and is really, really weird. He also stole some 'object of great evil power' from Zero. Who in turn had stolen it from Mavericks.

Back at the Stadium, Metal Man is trying to figure out some disk which has 'all the tech The Void used.' However, this is interrupted by DK, who leads the Questers to the Kong Isles. There, Cranky Kong leads the Questers (whom he mistakes for the Melee Questers) to defuse a plot involving blowing up the golden bananas. K. Rool's troops are ineffective at best, and in the end the bomb is defeated by Cranky himself. Cranky, who can apparently warp time and space like a cheap wax candle.

The tournament from earlier finally is about to start, but the Questers now really want to figure out what's on the disk. It is inferred The Void simply stole the tech from another high tech civilization. So the Questers warp to Lylat, then to Mobius. Neither pan out to any useful information. They find their way to the ARK, though. A weird hologram-man who shares the Questers' hate of bad plots then promises them the true information from the disk if they kill Dr. Proctor and... steal the object Dr. Proctor himself stole from Zero earlier.

They agree, then go to kill Proctor. They find Proctor in the future of Chicago, near the Datadyne building. Proctor revives Mr. Blonde, who is then dispatched in a vaguely comedic and stereotypical fashion. They are about to kill Dr. Proctor, but... he somehow is indestructible. They try anyway, but then Val appears and then is confused by gibberish Dr. Proctor spouts. Dr. Proctor then decides to flee and tattle to the Smashers, so as to have the Smashers attack the Questers.

The Smashers fall for it, and now the tournament has been reduced to 'beat the Smashers or be considered stupid people who only kill.' However, before the Questers can fight them, they go on another mission. Protoman, a victim of some weird surgery, tells the Questers of how there were Questers before them, and how they fight some weird company named Innotek. He spoke of how Ivan warned these 'Smash Questers' and how the Smash Questers died fighting Innotek. Then, nearly dying himself, Protoman breaks a door into Innotek and tells the Questers to finish the job for these... 'Smash Questers.'

The Questers break in, fight a number of unimportant robots, and then find Dr. Gnorgive, who speaks about random gibberish until his project, Mr. Project, interrupts. Using moves like 'Mr. Dream' on steroids, Mr. Project is seemingly unstoppable. Until Panzer steals a giant laser gun and shoots him up, and then Julian punches him over and over again. And then he falls down several floors and is crushed by a giant catwalk falling down after him. Protoman then speaks of the leader of Innotek, and the mystery hologram man offers some information as well. All after the Questers have won the day, of course.

Finally the dumb challenge Proctor spurred on occurs; the group wins basically all their battles, with the exception being Trigger losing to Kirby. Due to Kirby spamming stone drop. Dr. Proctor's scheme to have the Smashers do his work for him fails, and he flees. The Questers, however, find him and get an agreement out of him. Dr. Proctor agrees to work with the Questers... to test his device powered by the object he stole from Zero with corpses the Questers supply him.

The group is sent out to meet Protoman on the ARK again. He reveals that Innotek has basically ignored the destruction the Questers made earlier and rebuilt. The group decides to repair the Eclipse Cannon so as to fix their hash for good, but they need help--so they go to the Cornerians. The Cornerians agree, but only if the Questers take out some troublesome droid-infested ship... which the Questers do in record time.

The Cornerians go to repair the ARK. Protoman and the hologram guy brief the Questers on what is to be a difficult mission--Innotek isn't going to just let them aim and fire at their base. The Questers soon must fight to repair the ARK as Innotek sends a massive amount of ships to destroy the ARK. Julian and Dragoshi eventually have to use MTAs (old Quester-shaped Mecha from many seasons ago) to help bust up the incoming ships.

The enemy mothership arrives and the attempts to repair seem hopeless, but the Questers succeed. Only to be treated to a strange monologue from the 'invisible man' who ruled Innotek. He calls himself Ethelrad, rants about being confused why the Questers would destroy him, evil CEO of an evil Smash Quester killing organization that Ivan warned about. Then he dies from being blown up with his base by the eclipse cannon's ultra-laser. This also seems to kill off the enemy robot activity near Corneria.

But there is no rest, as Dr. Proctor wanders into the Innotek wreckage! The group follows him, and discovers he has been fruitlessly experimenting on the Innotek corpses with his machine. They also discover Ethelrad must have escaped, via Dr. Proctor's helpful hacking of the Innotek databases. They also find 'Project Eternity', which is some plan to become immortal and outdo The Void and Kuja.

Apparently they wanted Dr. Proctor's help, but he refused, so they found Gerald's computers beneath some area in Mobius the Questers had been before. Dr. Proctor also reveals he was almost hired by them (thus, they were his former employer) and he just wanted to steal their technology. He then takes ten dead bodies and flees, and the world is seemingly slightly more peaceful.

The group then does some errands, mostly involving talking to an old Zelda shopkeeper and killing poes. Next up, the group gets to choose between finding Ethelrad, finding where The Void died, or taking out the second Innotek base. They go after Ethelrad, and go to one of Bowser's old castles. Inside they are confronted by the newest model of the Overkill: A large tank controlled by a hammer brother with ten times more power than before. Ethelrad taunts them about the power of SCIENCE, then flees like a coward while they slowly but surely destroy the Overkill. The mission winds up being fruitless.

They choose to go after The Void's remains next. Those are in Ivan Robotnik's old HQ. Also there: Innotek goons. The group pounds them into dust and continues deeper, where they find an insane Ivan defense computer named SECUR DAT. They blew that up and then found a Void-shaped death mark in the floor, and NOVA, who was apparently not dead after all. There was supposed to be a celebration once The Void died in Ivan's HQ, but... a weird man appeared and killed The Void. This man then blew up Eisnaught as well, and basically did what he wanted before vanishing.

NOVA closed it up by warning them of Innotek's new building in Saffron city. The group went back to HQ and went to decode all the stolen data they had from Innotek. Oak figured out from his Porygon that they needed a new computer; one the Mavericks had back in their realm. The Questers went over to fetch it. After fighting Vile for it, they eventually won and retrieved the... damaged computer unit.

The supercomputer analyzed the disks and revealed information about an ancient lab on Mobius. So the group went there, naturally. BAsed on something as remote as some old radio Gerald once had... it was Gerald's lab, too. They broke in and fixed an old computer, which then treated the group to information such as "Innotek was founded to continue the ways of Gerald Robotnik."

They then found their way to a basement... where they found their hologram friend again. He alerted them to enemy bandits and then... warped them in for the Questers to fight. And fight they did... Klungo, Doopliss, a Gizoid, and Vile were their enemies. The Questers won, but only after the Gizoid copied a fruit brick attack and flooded the basement. The hologram appeared and congratulated them... but then scolded them for trying to pry into his communications. HIS communications? They stole Gerald's old computer, not much more knowledgeable as to what was happening than before.

Then, in a move that could only be less inexplicable if it involved the X-files, Kuja's ghost appeared to inform the group that a ship which had crashed in the X-zone had the code to decipher the disk. His only price was him being in on it, which of course would be bad. The Questers went anyway, though!

Things made more sense after the Questers found a weary James McCloud and a crashed Kuja ship. Inside that ship they found a man who had gained dangerous knowledge, which had caused his former shipmates to turn on him and die trying to kill him for becoming anti-Kuja. He then transferred his secret knowledge to Dragoshi and died... and warned Dragoshi would die too, without the help of some inexplicable temple.

With the disk partially decoded, the group found out Magitek was simply MagiTek, the latest technology of Kefka's Gehstahl empire. They also heard of the most powerful revival spell ever, which damages the caster's soul to revive... anything. They heard some stuff about the X-zone being telekinetic energy and also the Y-zone, which had the temple they needed just... floating in it. And some infinite food preservation techniques. Some weird civilization lived in the X-zone, and another in the Y-zone. The Void simply stole their tech for himself.

The group made their way to the temple, fighting some automated defenses along the way. They happened upon one of Ivan's old holograms, which warned of the Eisnaught destruction spoken of earlier. The hologram also completed the puzzle with the man who gave Dragoshi the info--Ivan's hologram told the man how to do it with a machine. He then gave the group the way to heal Dragoshi... and warned of Ivan Robotnik doing something in the background.

Ol' Ethelrad was found yet again. Or should I say, Alan Shezar? With names being elusive, this Alan Shezar was hiding in Smithy-dominated slums. They found him after sneaking past guards and ignoring Doopliss. But he sent the Overkill again... ..this time he stuck around and took control of the Overkill when they defeated its driver, though.

He escaped with an ejection seat after they beat down his machine for the final time. The group went to HQ, where Kuja's ghost again reported of something weird... ..the formative time when the Innotek people met up and became a group, and Dr. Proctor first started stuff. So naturally they found a way back in time. There, they found Alan Shezar, Dr. Proctor, and another mysterious man arguing. Eisnaught was already destroyed in this time, too.

The group of three went to leave, only to encounter Trevor, Doopliss, and Klungo. ??? just walked off, shooting Doopliss as he left. Alan did the same, shoving Klungo into the wall on his way. Dr. Proctor remained. He had some 99% power artifact on him... something Trevor wanted to use to kill Charles Magellean back in time before he ruined Smithy's gang. After some arguing, Trevor got the artifact... and everyone left, except him and the Questers.

Trevor revealed that the hole in time they used to get there was due to his failed Time Machine. The group shrugged and left, in the process leaking future information which let Trevor take over the Smithy gang sympathizers from earlier... ...making little difference other than their newly anti-Charles motivations.

The time travel revealed the crater of Eisnaught in the present day. Naturally, Innotek went to stick their nose in it, and the Questers followed. They found their way deep inside the crater, and then... inside the ruins of Eisnaught. With the help of a Razorbot, they found some really old stuff built back in Season 2, and references to 'Ivantek' and 'Iron Storm Labs'... meant to help the world be safe, even if the Questers failed?

They didn't have long to contemplate. A weird man with white eyes laughed at them, then shot stuff, revealing some deadly prototype machine. He stole a hard drive and fled just before Trevor and his men could assist the Questers. Then he returned, killing Trevor's men and an Ivan machine. However, he was also injured, and dropped the drive. Trevor brusquely informed the Questers that the man was from Ivan's group.

They then left back for their respective HQs. The group finally found out Innotek's purpose: making soem superweapon for the man who already was able to destroy Eisnaught and other places at random. Weird. The group tracked them to near Saturn Valley, on a cliff edge. So they found their way into the base, where a computer they last met in their first Innotek base jaunt informed them that 'Project Eternity had already been completed.'

Dr. Proctor found his way in, and picked up the pieces, revealing... the ??? man from the past who had shot Doopliss was dead. So besides Alan Shezar, nobody was leading Innotek... and they discovered the Project thing was basically complete, a weird device which Proctor could use to complete his reviving machine. But then Trevor appeared... demanding the object for himself.

Dr. Proctor got the object and went to revive the 'Master', but the 'Master' corpse did not revive. Instead... he teleported in from nowhere? The Master then took off his shroud, revealing the true master of Innotek was... Ivan Robotnik?!?! Trevor, outraged, went into attack mode, and a great big battle commenced. After a long battle... Trevor was defeated. Ivan warped the Questers to safety before a last-ditch move of Trevor wound up blowing himself up.

And with this, the world was at peace. So peaceful, in fact, it was kind of sad... the Questers found a new staircase to nowhere in their HQ and went up it, finding a trippy 4th-wallish realm with images of Wolfman and Klumsy... and Master Hand? Master Hand told them it was time for them to be free, since they no longer had any -real- enemies, sans maybe the defeated Trevor and Alan Shezar.

So he sent them to a special place where the King of all Fighter Remotes promised the group a quick warp to a New Quest. So they went. They fought a weird boss rush of their former foes in an inverted stadium, for their first test. After fighting Zio, Bowser, Grodus, Denon, and a bunch of other people they finally hit their next stop on their last mission ever...

Kales Brando, representative of all that antagonized the Questers, spoke of how he had been fooled into repeating the same things over and over again. He used the last of his power to make a bridge of darkness... leading to the final test.

Well, after some weird ones I won't mention here.

The group came upon... a massive refuse pile? ...And here it was revealed that someone, or something, had destroyed the realm the Questers had left by... up to and including Eisnaught... and Ivan Robotnik himself! And here it was... the one man who destroyed Eisnaught in the past... and who had been accused of being worse than The Void... and more!

THE BOOK. A crazed man of pure insanity... and pure plot. He was representative of all that had happened and would happen... and he was nuts! He wanted to cause the same plots over and over again, but the Questers rejected that... so he destroyed everything just to gain the power to destroy the Questers!

He threw everything he could at the Questers, killing many. Kuja came and spoke on the importance of readers... he didn't care. Kuja left. But The Book was down to his last energy after having destroyed the entire world... some Questers STILL persisted. He would not have this! He wrote directly... this would be it. Unavoidable, plot-based death!

...His pen broke. He threw it aside and went for another one. Julian seized it, and... pushed the button.


And thus, Season 13 and all of SSQ exploded into nothing, the group hurled into Kuja's study... where they would be told a story which would bring them to the world of... SSQ SQUARED. The end....?

Plot Analysis

Yeah, that was long and confusing, right? I don't blame you if you got lost or stopped reading. While many SSQ plots are long... ...that one's rather weird.

But take heart, for the plot is actually very simple. I had run out of new ideas for the now limited SSQ world, so I just made a group named Innotek. They were actually Ivantek, and run by shadowy, evil corporate exec types. Along the way it picked up some 'Smash Quester' stuff, in an attempt to make them look tougher by saying they effortlessly killed Quester-analogues in the past.

In the end, it was sorta meaningless. The Questers had fought everything and anything, and they wouldn't be stopped by these guys. The Questers eagerly figured them out and shoved them over.

However, the main star of this season was Dr. Proctor... indeed, he appeared the most. What is he? A representative of me, the GM... reviving dead plots over and over again. It's just a shame he didn't get killed. I didn't let him die, and so the plot which showed me SSQ 1 days were numbered occurred instead. Had he died, perhaps... perhaps SSQ 1 would have shown it was capable of living. Or that I could continue.

Because Dr. Proctor was evil as evil can be, and unrepetently so. He summoned Ivan, but so what? He didn't know he would, and had grandiose plans of playing God. In fact, summoning Ivan helped lead to the apocalypse, so as far as I'm concerned he could be considered the antichrist to SSQ's world.

The real untapped potential centers around Cranky Kong and the MMX scenes. I should have used them both instead. Cranky Kong would make a good vil--er, ally, and the MMX characters provided some new interaction. It'd be fresh, but sort of in a SSQ^2 way. This, and perhaps ignoring or removing the overused plot tokens like Trevor, Doopliss, Gizoid, and Klungo. Sure, they're wacky, but they also mean nothing outside their home seasons.

Take heart from this darkness, however--the worst is over if you are reading this. I have seen the error of my ways--there shall be no repeat. No more plots which consist mostly of Ivan Robotnik and vague 'all powerful' things playing deus ex machina hockey. Of course... there are more seasons to log, which shall probably contain their bad parts... but if I remember correctly, they manage to not end in such a depressing fashion.

The Book... sort of a sad character. After so many plots similar to this one, the plot of SSQ had lost its mind... and now took place in physical form... he is sort of representative of the corruption of the canon by constant retcons and rewrites. Now insane from one retcon too many, he has sworn vengeance and wishes nothing but to repeat the same pattern he has been forced to do before. Inexplicable in appearance, he dies just as inexplicably.

Oh, and that tournament. Shows just how pointless they are; I learned to drop the entire tournament angle after seeing how that one turned out. Good riddance, I say; it never did me much good to delay the RP over individual player characters, after all.

If there's one thing I can say about this season, it would be that its biggest flaw is being too generic. Ivantek and Dr. Proctor are bland and uninspiring enemies who meet their end in a fairly standard manner. Indeed, I hope to have more to say about the next season I log! Otherwise it'd be a bit boring... heh.

Word Map (Made by Wordle)

A one-dimensional word-cloud for a one-dimensional season. Dragoshi and Julian dominate, alongside Deloth; Metal Man's continuous giving of missions ensures that he, too, is in the foreground. Messing with time and warping around is paramount; Digi, Panzer, Aribar and others take a backseat to such concepts. The Void's name hides even further away, alongside the common concepts of killing and controlling things. Most telling of all: no central villain's name is visible; there is seemingly none. Just a cloud of Quester names and tools... a good summary of how bland and purposeless this season was.

Cast (In order of Appearance)

Dragoshi - Quester - The Packrat Gunslinger
Panzer - Quester - The Psycho Killer Maverick
Chancé - Quester - The Wacky Cook
Aribar - Quester - The Reticent Mage
Digifanatic - Quester - The Digital Golf Player
Metal Man - Leader of the Questers - That Wacky Madman
SIMBER - Quester HQ AI - Quiet Commentator
Alex Fender - Quester - The One-shot guy who tries to sign up for a tournament
Dr. Mario - Quester HQ Staff - The Doctor who makes Exploding Pills
Professor Oak - Quester HQ Staff - Metal Man's Long Suffering Assistant
Dr. Proctor - Ex-Innotek Nuisance - Plot-armor wielding Revivalist
Morph Moth - Ex-Maverick - Timid Helper
Zero - Maverick Hunter - Straight-Shooting Tough Guy
Valentine Kilmer - Quester - Meddling Rule-Follower
Smash Dex - Quester Tool - Informative Machine
X - Maverick Hunter - Dumb Hippie

Kamui - Quester - The Stealth-Blowing Guy who Vanished
Aiden - Quester - The Time Knight Who's Always Late
Deloth - Quester - The Witty Bookworm
Dr. Light - Quester HQ Staff - Fatalistic Tech Guy
Donkey Kong - Smasher - Hand Gesture User
Cranky Kong - Kong Leader - Senile Quester Fan
Julian - Quester - The Sandwich-eating Thug-Puncher
Kornelius - Kremlings Sub-Kommander - Probably an Ex-Game Show Host

General Pepper - Cornerian Commander - Helpful Information Person
GUN Commander - GUN Commander - Two-toned eye-owning selfish jerk
King Strider - King of the Strider Robots - Mostly a GUN Experiment
??? #1 - Weird ARK Hologram - Dr. Proctor Hater
Mr. Blonde - Dr. Proctor Revivee - Probably one of Arnold Schwartzenegger's Stunt Doubles

Protoman - 'Smash' Quester - Wheezy Old Loser
Trigger - Quester - The Yelling Surgery Hater
Receptionist - Innotek Worker - Crazy Machine Woman Cyborg
Man 1 - Innotek Worker - Walk Blocker
Man 2 - Innotek Worker - Also a Walk Blocker
Computer Voice - Innotek AI - Some sort of GLADOS ripoff
Guard - Innotek Worker - Prefers Death to Working for Innotek
Dr. Gnorgive - Innotek Scientist - Fleshbag Hater
Mr. Project - Innotek Project - Mr. Dream's Robotic Double

Natalie - Quester - The Writer Is Too Lazy to Describe
Raena - Quester - Foul-mouthed Renamon
Meta Knight - Smasher - Quester Motive Questioner
Pikachu - Smasher - Do-nothing
Kirby - Smasher - Stone Drop Spammer
Mario - Smasher - Silent Protagonist of Another Game
Ice Climbers - Smasher - Devastated by Dragoshi
Star Fox - Smasher - Messed with a Jentanian Wizard

Halbardeer - Quester - The Ship-crashing Knight
Cornerian Man - Cornerian - One-time Dealmaker
Captain Robot - Evil Droid Captain - Kleptomaniac

Ethelrad - Innotek CEO - Ironic Justice Demander
Cornerian - Cornerian - Robot Activity Monitor

Innotek Computer - Burnt Innotek HQ AI - Plot speaker

Peach - Smasher - A Really Good Cook?
Old Man - Shopkeeper - CAPITAL LETTERS MAN
Toad 1 - Grocery Shopper - Quester Fan
Toad 2 - Grocery Shopper - Quester Air Condit--er, Fan
Dampe - Kakariko Grave Keeper - Grave Digger for Hire

Hammer Brother - Innotek Overkill Pilot - Rich, Mysterious People Hired Him

NOVA - Module-controlling AI - Disappointed Party Host

Vile - Maverick Second-in-Command - Computer Guard

King Demon - Quester - The Solitaire Player
Robot - Gerald Guard Robo - Intruder Destroyer
Klungo - Unemployed Jerk - Probably still bitter about Grunty
Gizoid - Gerald/Ivan Experiment - Fruit Brick Thrower
Doopliss - Unemployed Jerk - Bored Quester-puncher

Kuja - Ex-Supervillain - The Voice of Plots Past and Future
Dan - X-Zone Freak - Annoying Annoyance
James McCloud - Original Star Fox Team Leader - X-zone Guide
??? #2 - Traitor to Kuja - Possessor of Ancient, Unspeakable Knowledge

Ivan Hologram - Ivan AI - Dire Messenger
Fake Nova - Kuja-Controlled AI - Annoyance from the Past

Pro-Smithy Guards - Smithy Revivalist Group - Annoying Walk Blockers
Hammer Brother - Innotek Overkill Pilot - Not the Other Pilot, he Was Green
Alan Shezar - Innotek CEO - Ethelrad, post-Reconstructive Surgery

Trevor - Smithy Revivalist Group - Time Travelling Cheater

Miner - Innotek Miner - Cowardly Guy
Razorbot - Ivan-built Defense Robot - Guide to Eisnaught's Ruins
??? #3 - Ivan's Weird Assistant - Annoying Guy with White Eyes

Ivan Robotnik - True Ruler of Innotek Ivantek - Guy Behind Everything

Master Hand - Creator of the World - Sad Story Teller
Phantom Goombas - Spectres of the Past - Can't Believe Questers Aren't Mario
Phantom Bowser - Spectres of the Past - Tough Guy with Moves
Phantom Ridley - Spectres of the Past - Fire Beam Shooter
Phantom Dedede - Spectres of the Past - Guy with the hard to pronounce Name
Phantom Zio - Spectres of the Past - Cool Guy Who Accepts Fate
Phantom Denon - Spectres of the Past - Zio-Wannabe
Phantom Doorman - Spectres of the Past - Cold Gentleman
Phantom Dr. Ivo Robotnik - Spectres of the Past - Psycho Attacker
Phantom Grodus - Spectres of the Past - Pensioner in Protest

Kales Brando - Icon of Evil - Fall Guy
The Book - The Entire Plot of SSQ 1 Ever - Omnipotent Tragedy of a Character

Final Notes

This was the first season I logged, and quite a messy one at this. Well, I 'logged' previous seasons, but I did it all weird and will wind up redoing those. I hope you enjoyed or at least partially read this. Thanks goes out to Nick Caligo, who actually GMed the final part of the end to this session. Of course, there is that matter of SSQ Squared's continuation to it... but we'll be talking about that a year or two from now!

So, let us remember what has happened here... so it doesn't happen again. :p