REVOLUTION - Story - Season 5 Commentary

After even more time, this season is logged. It was low priority, but as I near completion of SSQ 1, this season popped up. Unfortunately, it was rather limited purpose, and as such, doesn't have a lot to show for all the ink spilled to write about it.

Plot Summary

The Questers had failed. They tried to defeat Kuja on Nintendus... but got warped to Turion. On this new, verdant planet, they encountered many strange things. There was a puppeteer with fascist leanings; wolves that looked like triceratops; and a gnarled old Lizardman named Kales.

Kales greeted the group with muted enthusiasm, noting that there were ancient ruins on the planet, but that anyone who stayed in them over a day would die. Since his past workers had failed to retrieve the ancient treasure he wanted, he figured the Questers could do it for them. The Questers, naturally, signed on, and Kales told them he would return to give them their first mission. Meanwhile, the Questers noticed Moody Mandy's Item Shop (a shop run by a crazy lizardman who often 'sold' items to monsters) and the Arena, where the Questers could battle time and time again. Kales had noted it was a great arena for great warriors, for some reason... while Garrick mused on whether or not G&W's Item Shop had crashed on this planet.

The Questers opted to battle in the arena endlessly. The Puppet master, John Faust, noted he didn't actually like the Questers and in fact tacitly refused to be one. While he did that, he also argued with Garrick. Garrick mused about the old days and how he wished Wolfman was still around... the Questers then re-assembled and went to their first mission: to go investigate some dangerous ruins.

Kales led them to the ruins, then refused to go inside. The Questers went inside alone, and proceeded to be attacked by spiked floors, giant pistons, stained glass windows and eye laser shooting statues. They also fought a collection of mages made entirely out of glass who could freeze their bodies and their minds. However, it was not enough to stop the Questers... and then to make things weirder, Wolfman and VG appeared out of nowhere and were able to rejoin the Questers yet again.

The ruins contained some weird area with a dining table and a steak. The Questers bickered as Garrick degenerated to going "Shut up, Puppet Man." Then the Questers activated a weird pink blob monster who proceeded to make the Questers get really angry. After the monster was killed by a mega-elixir, the Questers carried on further inside the ruins. There they found a silly slide and a library full of holographic books. Wolfman ripped the console out of the ground though, destroying the holographic books and earning him Azure's wrath. The Questers carried on in spite of this and found a blue crystal, which was then guarded by a giant stone monster that refused to die.

The battle ground on, and a lot of other artifacts were randomly exploded, but the Questers eventually deactivated the statue and got its blue gem. They left and encountered Kales again, who criticized them roundly for destroying the priceless console. Faust, the Puppeteer, however, had had enough. He refused to be denied pay over the console and threatened Kales. He got bapped on the head and knocked out for his trouble. The Questers got no pay, and were sent off; Kales took the gem as well.

Aetos was haunted by a nightmare of an undead Lich Faust, and then when he woke up there was no trace of Faust anywhere. Instead, a 'Seer' named Kai showed up. The Seer Kai spoke of the religion of protecting the ruins... he was blind and used telepathy to speak. Kales used Seer Kai as an excuse to extract even more coins out of the Questers, although Charles refused to be considered a Quester and so it took a lot more work for Kales to get the coins out of him. Then Seer Kai took over the spotlight and rambled nonstop about his journey and his belief in the holiness of the ruins.

The rambling continued, until Garrick and Metal Man and Charles began also rambling. Soon, the air became thick with discussion of Lumis Dongthar, Zemus, Sha'fol, Tridus, and Garrick ticking off Charles by noting how Charles never helped anybody and was useless. Meanwhile, Seer Kai was horrified by tales of how Sha'fol sacrificed his soul to live over 7000 years using evil 'technology', then illogically Seer Kai learned how to start fire even though that should be something he already knew how to do. To add to the illogical weirdness, a cavalcade of weirdoes--Scott Kane, Azael, Ein, and Giallar, all appeared and fought in the arena. Then it was all over and nothing plot wise had actually happened in this whole space of time.

Kales eventually interrupted the endless self-narration and gave the Questers another job. He also apologized for taking so long. The Questers proceeded to wackily climb and then fall down the side of a canyon. They got to the bottom, where they found a bunch of old goodies from the Stadium. Then Scott Kane opened Pandora's Box and cursed everyone. After that he flipped off Charles and disappeared. The Questers proceeded to carry on, after having fought crocodiles (and earlier, pterodactyls). They crossed the canyon and went in deeper, eventually finding more rickety bridges. Then they were accosted by a portal and sent somewhere far away, where they had to fight an Aribar Shadow.

The Evil Shadow was pretty much unbeatable. Luckily, a portal randomly sliced it in two. Another Lizardman named "The Elder" then explained how he was the true Elder of the 'cursed village' that Kales was in. And also how the curse of the ruins had killed everyone except for the crazy people. The Questers ignored the Elder's warnings about mentioning his existence to Kales, then went and mentioned his existence to Kales. The Questers then returned to the Elder to warp to an undersea ruin area that Kales told the Questers to go to.

After a sequence during which a person named Rune Walsh tried and failed to moderate the Elder's rage, Julian ended up buying some Amnesia Dust against his will, then the Elder dumped it on his head and shoved him to the portal to the undersea ruin. The others followed. Rune then began screaming about not damaging the ruins as they'd let the sea in... only to then randomly throw a fireball at a door. Smooth. A force field blocked it, though.

The Questers continued to explore the undersea ruin. They fought force fielded crabs, then they fought zombies that vomited bats, and finally they managed to turn on emergency power. This lit up the room, control panel and buttons in the room they were in. They also found a QWERTY keyboard on the panel.

The Questers pushed more buttons and wandered around some more. They found a weird Kirby Statue, and then discovered from a computer that A. somebody who liked eating beefy sandwiches was in the prison and B. five others were trapped within. After getting zapped by electrified salt water over and over again, and raising and lowering water levels with valves, the Questers finally encountered the mystery beef eater: SkyHigh.

SkyHigh had switched to Kuja's side and was a Fallen Quester--one with a bunch of evil powerful Melee Moves. He fought the Questers, using his Boba Fett Ripoff powers and his light saber to annoy Julian to no end. To add to the weirdness, Tridus then showed up. Tridus, as in the old Doubler partner of Metal Man's. Tridus quasi-ineffectively fought SkyHigh, and the group continued to battle--for SkyHigh held the five other Smashers prisoner.

The battle raged, and eventually SkyHigh was defeated. The Questers got the Smasher statues and tried in vain to get the Elder to break the enchantment on them. Then they took the Pyramid of Athurmos, the artifact SkyHigh had, and gave it to Kales. Thus satisfied, Kales gave the Questers their payment, and the mission was completed.

Kales requested the Questers go find another artifact. Then everyone explored some ancient ruins deep underground. Outside was a broken bridge and an armory guarded by a keypad. Jinacereg joined the Questers mid-warp to the location. The group slowly fought a rock monster, after finding some upgrade boxes. They later found a ring that taught 'Confusion'--an old Melee Move. The further people went in, the more stone golems showed up. Everyone decided to retire after two... but Charles kept going and found four. Finally he left, and the group kept exploring the outside. They wandered around a lake of sand, then eventually found a giant pillar monster after Aetos collected a staff from a fountain.

The Questers blew up one of its feet, but it chose to do a handstand. After some more fighting, it died. Afterwards, the group did yet more sparring. Rune Walsh fought Aetos, then Tridus blew up a bunch of Questers with dark magic. Including the badly played Rune Walsh. Also the hapless newbie, Jinacereg. And Aetos. Metal Man got jealous and then went into battle next, blowing up Aetos almost instantly. In the final battle... Aetos lost to MrMonster.

Kales eventually showed, giving everyone 10,000 coins for the previous mission. Then he told the Questers they could climb a path near the mountains after the weird lake area from earlier to go find weapon upgrades. The Questers did just that, finding a bunch of ruins. They climbed further up and looked at old books from the ground, then they found and activated the emergency distress beacon on a Solarian ship that was just lying around. After that, they entered a nearby tower full of traps and wandered around in circles for a while.

A ways inside, the Questers found a cryo stasis area... and Aetos activated the cryo-stasis defrost too, for good measure. The Questers kept wandering through the tower and its traps, until they eventually got to the top area, where Maxamillion Terion was snoozing in a fridge. After he was awakened, he went on about how he'd been waiting for rescue and he was the Commander of the Solarian armada. The Questers just wanted his tech, and he just wanted the Questers' tech, so a fight ensued.

Maxamillion 'died' several times, but he didn't really stay dead. He just trolled the Questers, made his ship slide down the mountain, and escaped by suicidally leaping into a pit, then gave the Questers his remaining tools in order to ensure they wouldn't chase him. Although it seemed like he was dead at the time. In any case, Garrick went and used the tools to upgrade the Questers' weapons.

Jinacereg sparred against MrMonster and lost again. Then the Questers went to explore more ruins atop the mountain, these ones atop a 10-story elevator that only had the 1st and 10th floors open. Up at the 10th floor was... a bunch of traps in the ground, some areas to jump around, and then staticy monitors. The Questers didn't have too long to react though--soon they were under attack by a killer psycho robot named S-001.

The Questers leapt down a pit after figuring out that wasn't working, then made their way across some fans and electrical traps to an area with a giant fortress and robots guarding it. There were many traps there, and the Questers only barely got in after killing many robots and hammering the door a ton. They then had to kill even more traps and robots. Eventually, a guy named Traon joined the Questers, and the Questers found Metal Sonic.

A huge fight began, but then Metal Sonic realized he couldn't win and teleported the Questers to safety, moments before his fortress exploded. The Questers also gained two Melee statues. Metal Sonic showed a sign he'd found in the ground, made by lizardmen, that said 'Turion', noting that was probably the planet's name. He also revealed a twisted piece of blue material with a hole in it, which was another artifact, naturally. The statues, meanwhile, were of Sonic and Shadow.

Kales received the artifact, was confused by how he couldn't threaten a nonliving robot with an unbreakable skull, then shrugged and assigned the Questers a new location, a "" they could only reach using a pile of chains, apparently. The Questers took the chains, warped to the top of the 'Chaos Tower' from earlier, then rode a huge zipline down to the valley. In the valley, Ztarhcs the lizardman explained how Kales was thought to be cursed, then took them to his leader. The leader explained the town was named Hcivztrahcs. The King, as the leader was called, continued speaking in the weird backwards way that the lizardmen of the valley did, and told the Questers they were free to go into the nearby ruins and obtain relics.

The Questers entered the cave where the ruins were... and found the Holo Room from Stadium HQ, of all things, sitting there. The Questers wasted a lot of time warping Garrick and some items over to try to do something with it, then continued further into the cave. There was a room full of water, a lake, and books thrown everywhere.. and a lone shield crab. Then once the books were blown away, a warp spot was revealed.

The Questers continued exploring the cave, finding a secret passageway and a lot of computers, including one that played a video about some person attacking the ruins before they were destroyed. Then at the top, the Questers found a rainbow energy electric monstrosity. The Prismatic monster tried to kill the Questers, serving 'Master Kuja', but ultimately was defeated by being lured outside and then kicked in the head by Ztarhcs. The Questers obtained the Dimension Bending Ring of Kalan and immediately warped back to Kuja using the warp spot that appeared where the robot-prism thingy died, and gave it to Kales. They then used their payday to upgrade their stuff/buy more items.

Kales talked with the Questers, describing a holy temple that was nearly impossible to reach. He then noted the Dunbe, Elanu, and Krods were all allied against his tribe. Garrick noted it'd been 3-4 months since they'd arrived on Turion, and wondered about the future. The Questers entered the holy temple, only to discover it was cursed. They fought lizard grim reapers and dealt with blood-covered signs and cursed areas, then used a hand scanner and noticed an old Transformer. They shrugged it off and continued to an open warehouse area...

The Questers were jumped by Zorn and Thorn, who were handily defeating them with an evil maze that made them tiny and unable to do anything. However, Deus Ex Machina, er I mean Illian MacGregor/Metal Man punched through a door and with the help of heavy handed GMing ended up basically ignoring all the attacks the jesters did, then blew everything up with disco lasers. Including Julian's saber, Vendetta. He then used the Wand of Wonder to heal everyone who died from the jesters, as if to further drive home the point that he was super powerful.

The Questers then ventured through the ruins, finding weird storage of various things including phazon and silly putty, a bunch of computers that played back messages about being attacked by Kuja, and shield pylons, followed by a bunch of security drones. The Questers finally found an elevator and went up to the top floor... where they found the discarded AI cylinder of SIMBER, and... Professor Oak's mad science experiment, Mewthree/Psychichmon.

Mewthree took forever to fight, and in the end Aetos just idiotically slammed a chaos emerald into his chest, making him unstoppable. Digi had to use his digivice to deactivate him, but the whole top of the suspected-to-be-the-Stadium area exploded. The Questers fled, only to encounter the God of Death from Kuja's world, DeathGuise. Said being went to kill the Questers, but a super-powered Digi healed the Questers and repulsed DeathGuise in much the same hackneyed fashion as Illian repelling Zorn and Thorn.

Deathguise died and left behind a black disc of death and darkness--an artifact, of course. More plot development occurred as the explanation behind the Holy Temple was found. The Temple was a temple to Deathguise, and many of Kales' own warriors had worshiped death. Now that the Questers had killed their God though, they wouldn't help anymore. (Not that they helped to begin with.) Metal Man retrieved SIMBER and revived him, and the Questers prepped to visit underground ruins, while Digi was permanently empowered from defeating Mewthree.

Charles tried to leave the Questers, but Metal Man gave the news that Charles couldn't really leave them anyway. Metal also began the Stadium re-construction project, given that the Stadium had become a known thing that was scattered across Turion. The Questers were notified of their first ruin to go to that was underground by a stupid message sent by the ghost of Phantom.

The Questers went inside, beat up ghosts and looked at yet more library books. They then ended up having Phantom join them and make weapons for them, because that totally made sense. The group went underground into some weird lab which contained not much other than a bunch of messages about how to repair the Stadium if it were destroyed, and a bunch of evil machines and things Dr. Light made that went bad.

The Questers later wandered towards an underground crystal city. Besides yet more boring ruins, they encountered GHOST METROIDS. Then they fixed a bunch of geothermal generator stuff. Then they found an AI named INTA who noted there were two cities, one on each side of the planet. And that Kuja destroyed one of them with a flood, and that a Flamin' V was needed, so they got that artifact. Also that Kuja sending the Stadium to Turion had ended up warping the history of the planet--likely the Stadium pieces had been scattered across the past of Turion, hence their worn out condition.

The Questers went to carry on, but on the elevator, they were attacked by FER, IZE, and ELC, the trio sent by Kuja to kill them. The trio died about as fast as they arrived. Only Ize survived. The Questers got even closer to the city they wanted to visit... only to be confronted by Maxamillion, who had survived that mystery fall earlier, and was bent on causing the Questers to become smoldering smudges on his smashing smash foot of death.

The Questers beat up the mech, exposing an evil SIMBER. The Evil SIMBER amped up the attacks, but then was finally destroyed, exposing all the useful Melee Fighter statues inside, plus a burnt fighter remote. They then met the mayor of the town, who explained Kales hated all the humans on the planet and that the Crystal City was made up of survivors from ancient shipwrecks. They had more than enough space to have the Questers relocate there, and even gave the Questers money to relocate, while noting giving relics to Kales was probably bad.

The Questers explored Charles' mind with Mij and defeated Sin Fin, and then Illian and SIMBER tried to warp everything to the Crystal City. They got stuck in the X-Zone, necessitating the Questers to go out and help free them by fighting with Dans and other weird nonsense. The buildings were eventually saved after the Questers defeated an evil bizarro clone of Metal Man. Then the Questers found a rainbow streaked diamond and added that to their relic collection. Later, they wandered outside the Crystal City across another bridge to the ruins of Toad Town 3.

Inside there, Smithy's old corrupted data existed. Aetos got possessed by it, and basically the Questers had to do an escort mission to send Smithy's vengeful data back to where it belonged--but not before destroying an evil clone of Smithy created by Kuja. The Questers went and did so, but encountered SIMBER 2.0--the evil SIMBER from earlier, and in general, an AI which had been coordinating Kuja's attacks on the Questers on Turion.

The Questers killed the SIMBER 2.0 by doing as the Smithy wanted--the Smithy AI corrupting and killing itself and SIMBER 2.0. The Questers collected the digital cube from the wreckage, and recovered the last of the Smashers. All was well...

...Except Kales had found something very important and required the Questers to give up all their relics in exchange for being allowed to see it. It was the ruins of the rest of the Stadium... surrounded by a bunch of lava. Kales had everything planned--he used the relics to create a giant superstaff, and rebuilt the Stadium, as well as the surrounding area. Then he decided to try to kill the Questers.

He threw Metal Man aside and killed everyone several times over, but ultimately was done in by Metal Man coming back and dealing psychotic damage to him. After he was defeated, he was revealed to actually be KLUMSY KOOPA and sucked into a warp, along with The Void, who supposedly had been trapped inside the staff and, by being warped to Nintendus' past, was actually in some sort of time loop. Mewtwo appeared as the Smashers were freed from their statues, and the discussion for saving Nintendus began in the newly returned Stadium on Turion.

Plot Analysis

So... where do I even begin? It's hard to really think on this season, for a bunch of reasons.

First, this season was an abberration. It was between Season 4 and 6, but had no real purpose to itself. It was nothing more than a bridge. And so you see bridges everywhere in this season, as that was seemingly all I thought about. That and a bunch of ruins, that have artifacts in them. And endless, mind-numbing traps and tombs and prisons and oh boy, it just never changes does it??? There was little of value in this season as far as eye candy. It's all drab, dirt encrusted wasteland with broken labs and nasty poison everywhere. It's a small wonder the tribes of Turion didn't all die off--they had it worse than people on Genetia, and Genetia sucked as a planet.

We're led to believe that Kales Brando is this helpful person, but early on it's clear he's not. He wants the artifacts, but the reveal on why takes so long that by the time it happens, everyone knows it--and not in the tension building way, but rather it's an obvious and anticlimactic thing. Heck, he has to force the issue because everyone was told by other NPCs to just ignore him and refuse to give him the artifacts. So why did I do that if giving him them was going to be forced to be done in the first place?

Kales Brando was, though, one of the few developed characters in the season. Only Moody Mandy had any other character development, and all that involved was him being insane. Well, there was Metal Man/Illian MacGregor, but the only thing that happened was him becoming so powerful nothing could possibly defeat him. So I'm not sure that really counts either. Oh, and SkyHigh was seen to be doubting Kuja's importance, I guess.

Some key non-GMing points involved a bunch of characters from new players. Specifically this guy named Kerian, who really sucked at roleplaying. He claimed to be of a thousand faces, but all he really was was a thousand blunders. He first played an evil Nazi Puppeteer named Faust, who was, predictably, never going to get along with the Questers (or be one), so he had to go. Next up there was Seer Kai, the Lizardman priest. That would have worked, except he had to make that character too important to the plot and then start BS-writing a bunch of fake stuff into my already convoluted backstory. That character went away (after they had a bizarre out of character change to become no longer reverent of the ruins) and Scott Kain/Azael showed up. An avowed atheist (why was this an important thing to mention again? It's not really something important in of itself) who somehow had no interest in anything except opening Pandora's Box when it showed up. What a waste of time that was! He then was never seen again, and basically the player went into overdrive trying to find ANYTHING that would work.

So he ran Rune Walsh of Phantasy Star IV (for the Sega Genesis/Megadrive), unaware that Nick Caligo, the other GM, was basically the world's biggest fan of PSIV. So essentially Rune Walsh was graded harshly and failed. An entire session I didn't log involved the big return of Nick's Zio and Rune Walsh was naturally to be a big part of it... but the GMing of Rune was so weird and incorrect it literally destroyed Nick's entire interest in roleplaying as Zio (to be fair though, Nick's Zio kinda sucked too and was wildly out of character with regards to his canon from Phantasy Star). With this, Kerian ended up banned, and the beat moved on.

One of the major things about this season is the way it makes me think, of how some things were never really meant to be that much, or all that much important. This season was full of impermanent things, slight changes that really didn't persist after all was said and done. And anything that had really been changed, had been changed before this season. So in the end, it was just a short lived thing, including many of the players who joined and then proceeded to leave or be banned.

So, in a nutshell, the Questers were exiled to Turion. They met up with Kales Brando, who was himself a hated outcast of his people. They worked with Kales Brando to obtain the relics inside the 'cursed' ruins that the Lizardmen were afraid of. Over time it became clear Kales was a nasty person. The Questers themselves had some new recruits who didn't pan out, during this time, and they did a lot of sparring. Ultimately the Questers discovered other people on the planet, who fully revealed that Kales was evil. The Questers collected the rest of the relics and hid the last couple from Kales while living on the other side of the planet, after having foiled a bunch of attacks from Kuja. This was in vain as they had to give the relics to Kales in order to see one last important ruin--that of their Stadium. Kales tried to kill them all and take the Stadium for themselves, but they defeated him and he was warped away into the past of Nintendus alongside The Void. And along all of this, the Melee Smashers Kuja had turned to stone were found, and then revived.

I guess the other thing that people wonder is how this Season does compared to the others. Well, it's better than Season 1, since it has the decency to change somewhat. But unlike Season 2, it's not fun to read. It gets really, really repetitive. In fact I put off this commentary for months because I couldn't bring myself to do the usually entertaining plot summary--it was just BORING. Season 3 was completely insane, but again, I actually enjoyed reading that one... and Season 6 obviously is much better than it. So in all reality, this season was pretty mediocre. In actual plot coherence, it should be really high up there, but a lot of single-use locations and unnamed things that are then thrown away go on, so it doesn't even really get that. I think I would actually rate it as worse than the other seasons, only really better than the insanely boring Season 1 (which out-bores this season by miles.) Since in the end, even the radioactive trainwreck that was Season 3 was still sorta entertaining. Also though I haven't finished reading/logging Season 4, it's definitely better than this season too.

And yeah, there isn't even any nifty alternate plotlines or anything. What you see is what you get--all that was missing was that dire session where Rune Walsh and Zio were roleplayed like emo teenagers, and I doubt you really want to read THAT.

An extra note, this was the prototype for Genetia, which in turn was the prototype for Alsa. As you can guess, a stage zero prototype like this doesn't have anywhere near the interesting things those have, so it's kind of understandable.

Word Map (Made by Wordle)

Okay, starting out, I'm gonna note something here. With my new log device, the old days of fumbling in the dark to get Wordle to not crash are gone. In fact I filtered it much more harshly this time around, because especially with Season 5, I was just getting a lot of noise.

So what did that result in? Well, Julian is so massive he fills the entire screen. That's what happens when you constantly refer to yourself in the third person like he does. Outside of that unneeded largeness, you can see Aetos mentioned a lot because he makes people angry. Charles does the same. Back in the normal people section is Metal Man, Aribar, Garrick, and anyone else is kinda in the background, like Azure and MrMonster are. Kales himself shows up, which is good. Digi is referred to as Digi for some bizarre reason--guess nobody wants to say his full name. Then we get into the other words.

Well, ruins, electric, weird, die, death, lightning, hell... hell? That's seriously a word that shows up here? Blue... control, evil... battle... red... Tridus... Phantom... basically there's a ton of evil ruins and constant death and destruction. Oh, and water, too. Fires... natural phenomena are rather popular in this season, to put it lightly.

I hope this Wordle looks interesting, because it took me forever. Good news is that I also got Season 4's--but it'd be spoiling it to link/post it now. Look forward to that one... probably much later. Blah. Oh yeah, there's Kuja in here, because you know--he's why the Questers are there. Also village... I mean, they're only in a village for 3/4 of the season, after all.

Top 10% Logs of this Season

This Season was really, really boring. Let's dig through the boringness and look for something interesting!

Number 3: Chapter 220: Dumb Dinged Dang Field
Rune acts like a moron, SkyHigh kills Rune with explosions. Kales got a hoagie wrapper stuck in his face. Kales throws an exploding coin bag at the Questers, causing Julian to go "AUGH!" like Charlie Brown. Earlier, Jinacereg tells people not to mock the power of sausages. It's all in all a bunch of slapstick weirdness, which is really needed in this otherwise dry and boring season. However, it doesn't really have the full amount, so it's not quite as good as it could be.

Number 2: Chapter 238: The Melee Move Mecha
This log is all about the mecha of Maxamillion's and how it's stupidly powerful. It violates all common sense and basically could kill Kales and/or Kuja single-handedly. It also brews coffee on demand! Maxamillion was just somewhat annoying earlier, but by this point he's become completely insane and his bizarre statements are more interesting than 90% of the plot in this direly repetitive season. It's really simple and stupid, I know, but at least it doesn't bore me to death to read. That said, it could have used even more explosions.

Number 1: Chapter 242: Kales Meets His Match
Pretty much all the plot development occurs in this one. Kales ends up getting the relics, and reveals they make a staff. He also uses his infamous sword of death to carve up lots of people, including Julian. Then godmode Illian appears and destroys Kales with psychotic amounts of damage, making me question why they needed to fight Kales when Illian could just kill ANYONE. Whatever the case, this log also reconnects the plot to Season 6 and thus, better plot than the one this season had, so, good riddance to boring plot. No more relics, no more ruins... all of it has been destroyed and as of this log, there's nothing like it to happen ever again.

Cast Listing

Chapter 156
Metal Man - Quester Leader - Illian MacGregor, Destroyer Of Souls And Worlds
Garrick Fy`aar - Quester - Perpetually Ticked Off Smith
Aribar - Quester - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pausing All The Time
Charles Magellean - Quester - Doesn't Want To Be A Quester
Julian Sawyer - Quester - Julian Sawyer Julian Sawyer Julian Sawyer Julian Julian Julian Julian JJJJJJ
The Puppeteer AKA John Faust - Quester? - Probably Killed Offscreen
Saryu - Quester?'s Puppet - Stupid Puppet
Aetos - Quester - Stupider Than A Puppet
Kales Brando - Lizardman Leader - Psychotic Murdering Archaeologist Outcast
Moody Mandy - Lizardman Salesman - Selling Items to Monsters Since Forever
Koryuu - Quester?'s Puppet - Annoying Puppet
Digifanatic - Quester - The Digital Power-Refuser
MrMonster - Quester - Aribar's Less Whiny Cousin, Or Something

Chapter 157
Wolfman - Former Quester Leader - Library Destroying Troublemaker
Azure - Quester - RIP Spirit Charms
VG - Former Quester and Super Smash Stadium Leader - Regrets Everything

Chapter 158
Unreal Tournament Announcer - WTF - No clue

Chapter 159
Lich Faust - Aetos Nightmare Hallucination - Probably the Spirit of Faust after he Died
Seer Kai - Quester? - Aetos Nightmare Halluc--er, I mean, Stupid Attempt To Godmode My Plot

Chapter 160
Giallar - Quester? - Lasted 22 Seconds
Azael - Quester? - Lasted 2.2 Seconds
Ein - Quester? - Lasted 0.22 Seconds
Scott Kane - Quester? - Pandora's Box Opener

Chapter 161
Terrordactyls - Ruin Monster - What, they Spoke?

Chapter 162
Elder - Lizardman Elder - Wisely Stayed Out of The Way
Rune Walsh - Quester? - Impostor Who Also Probably Died Offscreen

Chapter 163
PA - Underground Ruin Computer - All Underwater Systems Online

Chapter 164
SkyHigh - Fallen Quester/Kuja Commander - A Taste of Hoagies To Come
Tridus - Quester - Master Of the Forbidden Cheap Electric Death Attack

Chapter 165
Jinarcereg - Quester - Flake Who Never Returns
Zorn - Kuja Commander - Ineffective Obstacle
Thorn - Kuja Commander - Obstacle, Ineffective

Chapter 168
Hologram - Solarian Defense Hologram - Magical Transforming Thing

Chapter 169
Maxamillion - Kuja Commander - Solarian Mad Scientist

Chapter 170
Computer Voice - Ruin Defense Device - KRSHHHHHH
S-001 - Defense Droid - Impressively Unbeatable

Chapter 172
Traon - Quester - Red Blood Dude
Metal Sonic - Smasher - Expensive, Indestructable Sentient Item
Ztarhcs - Utopian Lizardman - Sometimes, Backwards is Better than Forwards
King - Utopian Lizardman Leader - Brain, what is a?

Chapter 173
Voice - Ruin Defense Computer - Geez, how many evil AI voices do these ruins Need?

Chapter 175
Chain Chomp - Kuja's Commander's Lackey - BOW WOW

Chapter 176
Samus - Smasher - She of Few Lines

Chapter 177
Mewthree - Professor Oak's Out Of Control Experiment - Spends More Time Denouncing Others As Insects Than Defending Himself
Deathguise - Kuja's Lackey - Failed Attempt To Enforce Death

Chapter 178
RandomCitizen - Lizardman - Random Hapless Citizen Poked by Dea--er, Aribar
SIMBER - Stadium AI - Surprisingly Patient Despite Everything
Jacki - Lizardman - Garrick's Oft-Suffering Assistant

Chapter 179
Smash Dex - Quester Tool - Barely Around Due To Technical Difficulties
Haunter - Pokemon - How'd one of THESE Get Here?
Kuja Picture - Haunted Thing - Mwa Ha Ha, Not In The Season!
Bowser Picture - Haunted Thing - Geez, Why Aren't I In More Things?
The Void Picture - Haunted Thing - Wait, How Does This Make Any Sense?
Deloth - Quester - Pre-Tower Annihilation Version

Chapter 180
Phantom - Fallen Quester - Annoying Salesman for a Gun for Hire

Chapter 181
Professor Oak - Stored Message - If You Are Hearing This, I Am Out Of A Job
Klumsy - Stored Message - Outdated Warning
Dr. Light - Stored Message - The Only Useful Message
BATTLE REPORT - Apocalypse Group Post-mortem - Oops, We're Too Evil To Live
Project 42 - Ruin Defense Monster - Digifanatic: "This is the only time I will hate you, Douglas Adams..."
Digivice - Digifanatic Support Tool - Debugs Enemies By Deleting Them

Chapter 182
INTA - Crystal City AI - Weak Wannabe SIMBER
Ize - Kuja's Lackey - The Only Survivor
Fer - Kuja's Lackey - Burnt to the Ground
Elc - Kuja's Lackey - He Who Refuses

Chapter 183
Mayor - Crystal City Leader - Poor, Lonely Person

Chapter 184
Crump - Magellean Hallucination - Easily Taken Care Of
Grodus - Magellean Hallucination - Signal Transmitter
Mij - Magellean Hallucination - Jim Backwards? So Lame.
Packet - Magellean Hallucination - Similar to "Razagal of Starcraft"?
Butler - Magellean Hallucination - Only the Mayor Knows!
Dan - X-Zone Monstrosity - HEYLLO PIPPLE

Chapter 185
Metal Man??? - X-Zone Monstrosity - Mechanized Elite Hunter From Another World
Mr. T - X-Zone Monstrosity - I Pity Da Foo Who Take Dis Seriously
Sephiroth - X-Zone Monstrosity - Much Weaker Than The Original
Daniel Hahn - X-Zone Monstrosity - Success Through Nothing
Smithy - Reformed Former Quester Enemy - Bitterly Avenging His lack of Screentime

Chapter 186
SIMBER2.0 - Kuja's Commander - The Leader of the Turion Attack On Questers

Chapter 187
Mortal Kombat Voice - WTF - CAT FATALITY!!!
Mewtwo - Smasher - CAT FATALI--oh.


Phew... it took way too long to commentary-ize, due to its sheer boringness. How many more ruins are there? Why must there be so many? There were so many libraries that if they were the real Stadium library, we'd have 50 billion books. Some of them were holograms, but some of them were real! What's up with that??? And there were vastly more real ones than there were holograms even though there were hologram libraries!

And Wolfman didn't know there were hologram libraries even though ostensibly he was managing them based on what was in Season 4! In fact you could say the entire reason The Book came into existence is the only plot hole larger than the ones that created The Void were those book-related plot holes!!!!

So in short, this whole thing was just really boring, with few exceptions, and those exceptions were insanity-inducing. ...Too late though, you've read this... now YOU get to be insane too!