REVELATION - Story - Chapter 1: Puzzling Conversations

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Date: 7:31:06 PM, December 9th; 5:32:40 PM, December 14th, 2014.
Metal Man (GM): R E V E L A T I O N -- The group is on the Wing Fortress. It's been a couple months in space. The ship's handled itself pretty well. Everything is... kinda weird but functional. Xavier sits in the bridge, casually welding a detached part of the controls onto a wildly incorrect part of the control panel, slicing off excess parts and hammering it into place, it looking like a jagged jigsaw puzzle once in place.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ah... about time I had a control panel in this thing that wasn't a piece of garbage!"
Metal Man (GM): He hears a knock on the door--it's Borne and, presumably, the other Questers.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ah, let me open the door..."
Metal Man (GM): He flips a switch, then he flips a glass guard up and twists a knob, then he types in a keycode, and then he spins a wheel around sixty times. The door slowly opens, then stops 3/4 up... forcing everyone on the other side to duck a bit to enter. Well, not Gelato.
Gelato: *Well... he has to now, as well. It turns out that chowing down on entire civilizations can cause growth spurts... over the past few weeks, he's been growing until he's about hip-high to Xavier.*
Valron: "...Remind me again. Why do you need to do about seven different things to get the door working when it doesn't even open properly?" *He grumbles softly, before going to duck under the door, then pop back up on the other side.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, I... ...thought that it would remind us of our days down in the bottom of the ocean, riding yellow submarines."
Metal Man (GM): Borne casually walks over to the control panel, and pushes a very dusty looking button in the midst of it. The door opens all the way normally.
Valron: "...Right."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hey!"
Commander Borne: "The wires for this one went directly to the door. I see no reason not to use it."
Valron: "Also, that would've been nice to know about five seconds ago, but. Whatever."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I was quite sure I destroyed the correct butt--I mean amazing! I didn't know it existed!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier grumbles a bit and turns about in his chair, looking to space.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We're almost there now. Pardon the slowdown, but I had to go to every single Space Taco Bell and collect all the Pokemon figurines."
Metal Man (GM): Said figurines are completely lined up on the dashboard... all 700+ of them.
Commander Borne: "You do know we still have enough gold to just buy them all."
Gelato: *He walks over, sniffing them carefully. Each one demands an examination.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm pretty sure I already knew that."
Valron: "...Well, that explains all the smothered burritos. ...Not that I'm complaining."
Metal Man (GM): They appear to have been very carefully duct taped to the board, and are typical cheap fare like any kid's meal toy would be. Not that Xavier seems to care.
Valron: *He covers his mouth for a moment, letting out a muffled burp, before glancing over at the truly astronomical amount of figurines.* "In any case..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We're entering a dangerous part of space, anyway."
Gelato satisfied that they're not attempting to kill the group, he promptly heels next to Xavier, listening intently.
Metal Man (GM): He turns on a bunch of oscilloscopes. They make a vague impression of a green-and-black map on them.
Commander Borne: "And you didn't use the hologram projector because...?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm trying to be edgy and new!"
Valron: "Because that would make sense."
Commander Borne: "There ARE a lot of edges on these square boxes, yes..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Anyway, here's the deal."
Valron: "Come now, Borne. You should know better about how Xavier... well, I'm sure if I should say works, but. I guess that's a good approximation. Anyways."
Commander Borne: "I must admit, I spent the last several weeks analyzing all the data I missed between being dead and not associated with you people."
Valron: "Fair."
Commander Borne: "It made... me a little less familiar than I was last. But I see I will catch up soon."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes, you will get a grand class in how I do things!" *He starts by pointing and stabbing a monitor, breaking the screen.* "OOOOW!"
Metal Man (GM): He then casually chucks it away and plugs a new one in.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So, you're just the first couple of people to see this, but I've been working on this thing."
Commander Borne: "The collection of junk here?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No. The plan to save the universe."
Commander Borne: "Oh."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Over here is us."
Metal Man (GM): He points to a heavily shielded set of two orbs: one says ALSA, the other says NINTENDUS, all in nice old timey block letter font.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now... over here is this."
Metal Man (GM): He points to a planet named OPUS and a bunch of satellite dishes and things.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "This area is where the Time Cops chased me into Nintendus back when over 50 years ago. The barrier used to be opaque and impossible for us to leave, so they most likely lowered their security watch. Especially after they managed to send all their worst foes into there for us to kill. Indeed. This ship was the one they sent into the world to begin with. I had to reassemble all 7.2 trillion pieces of it by hand over the course of the decades we were hanging out in Nintendus."
Commander Borne: "So that's why there's enough microfractures in the hull to kill us over over 10 times combined."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! I consider them miniature gunports for even tinier gunmen to defend us with!"
Gelato: *He probably stuffed gum into a good few.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So this is where we, the Questers... Time Questers... Time for Tacos... ...whatever we consider ourselves, probably still Questers, come in. Since this ain't no WOLFMAN thing anymore..."
Commander Borne: "But... you have images of that Reploid on the wall, everywhere."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But not here!"
Metal Man (GM): *Portrait of Wolfman sitting on the controls is staring at Xavier.*
Editor's Note: My future-me's brain has further made that image hilarious by imagining an image of Wolfman trying to lounge atop the controls and finding them very pointy.
Valron: "The time for tacos had kinda already passed. ...Besides, I've already had four of those burritos. ...This afternoon." *He coughs.* "Anyways."
Xavier Ridgecrest glances over to it slowly, then even more slowly moves it to be facedown. "...As I was saying... The Time Cops were the only real group in the universe... with any real numbers, or organization. They never fought another organization worth their salt in this reality, according to Illian. They were so desperate to ensure Illian died they released their worst criminals into our realm to help ensure at least one of them would kill him. Or, failing that, planned to split the universe with him. The tapes he showed me were very interesting..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out a holodeck tape and reluctantly engages the actual proper hologram.
Omnus: "Yes, Illian. If you can subjugate that worthless hellhole, then we can make you the proper Time Cop coordinator of the area, and let you run it however you please, nullifying the Hands' contract forever."
Illian Macgregor: "And if you renege, I will just kill you and everyone you know, so it's not like you can renege."
Omnus: "Rest assured. We have seen your power!"
Illian Macgregor: "Maybe I should kill half of everyone you know so I make sure you've seen it properly."
Omnus: "That... won't be necessary!"
Metal Man (GM): Message ends.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Obviously we ended him, so the plus side, nobody innocent has to die. Of course now we have to kill Omnus ourselves. Or make him see reason. Or... send him to Taco Bell... ...forever..."
Gelato: *He promptly blows a raspberry.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wonder if Walther is somewhere here. I need him to cross check whatever insane idea I say."
Commander Borne: "What, I'm not good enough?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Perhaps you're a bit too good, given you saw fit to efficiency-ize away every single person other than you from your government, last I checked."
Commander Borne: *Shrugged.*
Valron: "...I'm not exactly expecting the 'see reason' approach going to go so well, given that he tried to condemn a universe to oblivion just to get rid of an opposing organization, but. I... guess it wouldn't hurt?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, we can always make him see reason by making him see it by taping it to his face... with duct tape of violence... I mean truth."
Commander Borne: "I would roll my eyes, but this is a marked upgrade from my previous employers. Mad Molly would just cackle insanely while contemplating killing everyone, and Jack would... ...cackle insanely, while contemplating killing everyone."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hah! You can't beat me, I had to do what a short guy in a funny hat told me to do... and an even shorter guy with nerd glasses! Anyway. We'll go to Opus and see about getting them out of the Time Cop funk that undoubtedly controls them. Now of course, there are a lot of things to talk about, like how I have found Michael Jackson's Pat collection... I mean Pat's Michael Jackson collection... because--"
Metal Man (GM): The dash lights up red and a bunch of 'incoming call' lights turn on.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Huh. I didn't know we got callers out here."
Metal Man (GM): He flips a single toggle switch.
Gelato: :D *Friends!*
Metal Man (GM): A man in some sort of vague outfit shows up.
???: "Hello there, unknown ship bearing 729XW. We've detected your callsign and... it appears you're not on the Time Cop's side."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Why yes. But how could you tell?"
???: "Your ship violates 9 out of 10 of their restrictions on vessels, is on an outdated wanted poster that says 'WANTED: TIME HOBO', and I think there was a documentary on last week about how you supposedly died in a black hole somewhere."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Time what? Who dares call me a Time Hobo?"
Valron: "Deadliest hobo I've ever met, then."
???: "...Anyway, since you appear to have been outside the loop, we figured we might link up to share intel, since we ourselves have been fleeing the Time Cops for a while."
Gelato: *He promptly rears up and waves his front paws at the monitor. HELLO NEW FRIEND.*
Valron: "Sounds like a pretty good idea, all things considered."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, you are complete strangers, but my Smash Dex should figure it out."
Metal Man (GM): He holds the Smash Dex up to the monitor.
Smash Dex: "...DING! ...Celus Model 6 Holo-Monitor."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Well at least this time it detected something. I think I can risk it, anyway, since I have several other infamous fugitives and people who have fought and defeated Gods before."
???: "Yes, it appears if you have survived falling into that black hole, that you aren't made out of normal flesh... we'll be right there."
Metal Man (GM): The sleekish black ship floats up. Borne stares at it.
Valron: "And it's not like we haven't been through the wringer about twenty times before as it is."
Commander Borne: "I can't help but think that thing is a bit familiar to me, but I don't recall where..."
Metal Man (GM): The ship docks, and the dock ka-clunks open. The man walks in, followed by another.
Deck: "Hi... I'm Executor Deck. Deck for short. I've been out here for quite a while, and I've sort of been the local meet-and-greet for... other vagabonds like ourselves, essentially."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Good, because if you were coming in here serving anything other than cheer and information, I have six kinds of video tape players."
Deck: "You have such strange slang... clearly you have been marooned from civilization for decades."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It was a world of plastic... it was a world of commercialism. It was a world of--hello Nonna."
Nonna nods to Xavier and the others.
Valron: *He glances over at the two, seeming to idly examine them for a few seconds, absent-mindedly flexing his left claw, before giving a nod to Nonna and Deck.* "Valron. Pleased to make your acquaintance" *He then shifts his attention over to Deck.* "I suppose you could put it that way."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Stands there at 6'4", a man in a metal silver armor suit that looks ripped out of bad 80's movies, complete with grungy plating and a dim, faded Q badge on his chest, but his visor is nice and clean and reveals his wrinkled and mischievous but non-hideous, non-evil looking face."
Deck: "I had to come here and see you, since you are sort of an urban legend, like the Loch Ness monster. They say you vanished into a portal, 'Time Hobo', and they never confirmed whether you were alive or dead, but they kept reporting sightings of you everywhere, like UFOs."
Gelato: *He eagerly bounces up to Nonna, examining her. That's a rather small dragon, but a rather large pet... and it appears to be made out of clear gel, looking almost like a living blob of water.*
Deck: "And I don't recall you having an entire group of people with you either... they didn't know of any such thing, anyway. Especially such... ..." *Gulps a bit when he looks at Gelato* "Interesting... ones..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ah, you missed the time I had a Renamon who cursed at everyone and smoked and drank and set small fires when I wasn't looking."
Nonna: "Ah... h-hello there." *She examined Gelato as much as he was examining her.*
Commander Borne: "Pardon Xavier's strange speech. He's never had to look at normal people before. He brought me along to be the more level-headed one, so that you could speak without being interrupted by bizarreness when necessary."
Gelato: *He promptly attempts to lick her hand, wiggling in excitement!*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You brought this Nonna here, I see... any particular reason?" *Rubs his chin, making a slight metallic scratching noise, but subtle.*
Nonna allows it, and then even tries to cautiously pet him, clearly unsure of whether or not the act would be interpreted positively.
Deck: "Well, we've been having trouble keeping our ship afloat, as it were. Time Cop attacks have tripled recently. They said somebody big was coming here. It was the Destroyer they were talking about, though."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The Who?"
Deck: "No, not the classic band."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Damn. All my Earth references are perfectly understood out here, I forgot."
Gelato: *He certainly seems to be enjoying it, leaning his head back to lavish in the petting. Goodness, what a friendly thing.*
Deck: "Well, of course! You came from here, did you not?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes and... no..."
Deck: "The Destroyer. He looks like you, but he's been reputed to kill entire dimensions for displeasing him."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I shouldn't tell you who else is on this ship then, I guess."
Valron: "...Ahaha. Funny you should mention that, yes."
Deck: *Pales* "Uh... I guess you shouldn't..."
Valron: "It's... a rather long story. Long, completely ridiculous, and you probably wouldn't believe us anyways."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We convinced him out of destroying things, but he won't come out to see you. I hear him ramble about Garrick and build things in the armory instead."
Valron: "Emphasis on 'completely ridiculous'."
Nonna: "Reality is stranger than fiction."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I tried to convince him to play Duck Hunt once, but he chucked a spinning hammer at my head, then a boomerang. I shut the door before the fireball could hit me."
Deck: "G-glad to see you have him under control, then!" *Pulls at his collar* "Anyway... Nonna is here because... especially with such deadly company... she would be safer here... our ship's been losing life support and--"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Maybe I could fix it!"
Metal Man (GM): *Part of the ceiling falls in and a tube breaks.*
Deck: "I... think you wouldn't know what tech we use."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's right, Destroyer can fix it for you!"
Deck: "...Reaaaally sure it's unusual so even he couldn't."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Awww... alright, but don't say we didn't offer to help."
Nonna: "...I'm only a cadet, so to speak. Deck doesn't want me in any dangerous combat situations yet, but doesn't want to outright admit that."
Commander Borne: "Understandable. Nobody with a normal fighting regimen for their troops would send cadets into danger. Despite how derelict this ship is, I have made sure to repair it so that it's mostly cosmetic. That tube was some redundant 1960's air conditioner Xavier insisted I leave in here."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's a Dyna-matic! Nothing beats the Dyna!"
Metal Man (GM): *box that fell out of the ceiling bursts into flames.*
Commander Borne: "Nothing is quite so prone to burst into flames, anyway."
Valron: "I'm surprised he actually let you touch the damned thing. I've been wanting to do some work on... well, a lot of things, but he's been so dreadfully cagey about it."
Commander Borne: "He never let me. Rather, I fixed it moments before a catastrophic vacuum hole was about to send his entire collection of Quester medallions into space."
Valron: "...Oh. Well, then. That explains a lot."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I figured compromising my aesthetic a little was worth it, because then my precious collectables wouldn't be lost in space. Imagine what kind of fetch quest THAT would be..."
Gelato: *He yawns boredly at the flaming box.*
Commander Borne: "Illian made it clear that if we encounter any fetch quests, that I either prevent it or he will destroy them."
Nonna: *Went back to petting Gelato while the others kept talking.*
Deck: *Pulls at his collar* "You guys seem to have it under control, so we should go before the Time Cops catch us..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ah, but it'd be quite a party, don't you think?"
Valron: "I'll be glad once my own ship's finished so that I can actually do something while goings are slow. ...Mind you, I still need to find a proper AI in case I'm down a co-pilot for whatever reason, but... Hm."
Commander Borne: "We should make sure his cadet is safe and we get to that planet first."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But... but the violence and explosions!"
Valron: "Those can come later."
Commander Borne: "Do you want the explosions to touch your medallion collection?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...No."
Valron: "Or, knowing us, they'll happen somewhere along the way."
Commander Borne: "I am thankful that you have some limits, anyway. Jack treasured nothing, so there was no convincing him out of erecting the 200 foot tall pillar of death worship in the middle of a major intersection."
Valron: "Hopefully, it'll be more a matter of if than when."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah."
Deck: "So, Nonna... best of luck here, and in case you do need help, you know my radio frequency. Just..." *He glances at Xavier's control panel.* "...Use this, because I don't think they even have the ability to dial individual frequencies." *Hands Nonna a radio.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "My panel is perfectly usable!"
Commander Borne: "Even I struggle to determine why there's a banana and a rotary phone wired into it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The banana is to use if Garrick ever appears on here, and the rotary phone makes noises that are soothing to hear."
Valron: "Because Xavier, Borne. Because Xavier."
Commander Borne: "Soothing wha?" *Shakes head.*
Valron: "That is seriously about the best I can glean, even with having worked with him for as long as I have."
Nonna: *Takes it and looked at him.* "Thank you, Deck. Things will go well here, I think."
Deck: *Whispers to Nonna something, then nods* "So then... best of luck." *Nods a bit, then walks off.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now, where was I..." *As Deck slowly leaves, closing the door behind him after pausing a moment to hear whatever Nonna might say, if anything.*
Nonna: *Blushed suddenly and looked a bit irritated* "I told you before, don't pamper me just because you liked my Mom. I'll be fine!"
Deck: "...Ouch." *He coughs.* "I'll... uh... ...yeah." *Stumbles off and closes the door behind him, awkwardly.*
Gelato: "...?"
Valron: "...Right. While that's all fascinating to hear..." *He coughs.* "What's our next order of business, exactly?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I detected at least ten kinds of burn from over here, and not because my left hand has a tendency to spontaneously burst into flame." *Spins around his burning hand.*
Commander Borne: *Is busy putting out the air conditioner with a fire extinguisher.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, as I was saying, we go to Opus and liberate them from Time Cop enslavement! ...Somehow."
Nonna: "Um, anyway. once again, I'm Nonna. It's nice to meet you all, and hopefully we can work well together."
Valron: "Ah, yes. Right. Opus."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh, we can work together, all right. This is probably the start of a long and bizarre association, see, since people tend to work with me for a long time... ...also because I'm not sure how many other ships like yours or mine even exist anymore. Last I checked, the Time Cops were killin' everybody, and your ship confirms my suspicions. If even a ship so new as that one was so broken? Cripes... the only good news is this one is pre-broken, making it un-break-breakable."
Nonna: *She went to go find a place to take a seat for the time being.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "By the way, Gelato, you should get my war tapes ready to cue up when we reach hailing distance of Time Cop ships."
Valron: "...I'd say that I really hope logic works like that, but given who you are, I'll just shrug and figure that it does. Somehow."
Metal Man (GM): Nonna would see the assorted chairs... they are bizarre.
Gelato: *He steps up to her, offering a seat on his back.*
Metal Man (GM): There's a bean bag chair, and a patio chair... there's Gelato.... There's an upside down chair made of metal that's been welded to the ground... There's a deformed ceiling fan hanging from the ceiling converted into a chair... And there's a chair made out of small chair sculptures that look crudely welded together.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I had these really cool chairs, but then I sat on them and they broke."
Valron: "You didn't properly reinforce them, did you?"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier, for whatever reason, does have a 1950's esque chair, but it looks like it's been repaired a thousand times.
Nonna: "Oh, uh... thank you." *She accepted Gelato's offer awkwardly.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Reinforcement, SmheintdhoeiathaoiGAK COUGH" *Back of the chair flies off and smacks into a wall.*
Valron: "...I rest my case." *He lightly shakes his head, before going to go settle down in the beanbag chair.*
Gelato squirsh. He feels warm and soft, kind of like sitting on a waterbed... not bad, although very weird. Comfortable, though!
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now the plan here, is that we go to Opus, and... defeat satellites... ...Does anyone here have experience in defeating floating satellite battlestations? Because you know. I tried it before and had to flee into Nintendus."
Nonna: "By the way, I'm not sure if I've caught all your names..." *she spoke quietly, not wishing to cause an interruption or anything.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh, right. My name is... Xavier Ridgecrest, Time Adventurer! ...Bandit... ...definitely not a hobo!"
Commander Borne: "He's one sack of vittles short of becoming one, I must admit."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Quiet you!"
Commander Borne: "Also, I am Commander Borne. My story is... too complicated to explain in short sentences, or in fact one hour."
Valron: "...Should check back on Ivan about my ship-mecha at some point, but. Eh. That can wait." *He then pauses as he looks over at Nonna.* "Ah. Well, I had already mentioned my name before, but in case you missed it, I'm Valron. Nice to meet you and all that. Hope you don't mind our... general peculiarities too badly. This is... normal for us, to be honest."
Nonna: *To Valron* "To each their own, right?"
Commander Borne: "He tends to be more bizarre when he has nothing to do, anyway. Once things get going, he gets more serious."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Like that time I defeated the EVIL SOLARIAN MATH TEXTBOOK OF ILLIAN, am I right?"
Commander Borne: "...When he's not fighting somebody as insane as he is..."
Valron: "...Our story would probably require a good bit more time than we have at the moment, anyways. It's... really long, and a bit ridiculous, as I had said before."
Commander Borne: "The short version is that there's a world full of insanity past here, which is why those beacons telling you to turn back exist."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes... I must admit, it was strange to encounter someone who actually understood some of my references. It's been a long time since I've been anywhere near home."
Valron: "We managed to make it sane. ...Well, sane enough, anyways."
Nonna: "I... I see."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "In any case, we'll make our way past this big line of horrible death satellites, then go and figure out what's up here. You wouldn't happen to know much, would you? ...Then again if you did, you probably wouldn't have your ship so shot up... ...unless that means you actually did and they were trying to take you out..."
Valron: "...Do we have any proper scanners in use to at least have an idea of what we're- No, wait. If we did, then you wouldn't be asking, huh."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, I can detect the giant, New Jersey sized space station infested area."
Nonna: "A cadet isn't really told anything."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oooh... and this." *He holds out his Time device.* "The Time Network rebooted when we left."
Metal Man (GM): He turns it on. A field of dots appear all over the air, showing a holographic version of space. It also shows the current position, moving towards a crescent filled with dots.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So if I'm correct... this is going to be a very dangerous blockade run. No wonder that ship was so shot up."
Valron: "I meant in more of a sense on the specifications of the satellites and not, well. The fact that they exist." *He pauses for a moment as he takes note of the field of dots, before nodding.* "That would explain things, yes..."
Commander Borne: "Specifications... The Arbiter's Hard Drive."
Valron: "...You still have that?"
Commander Borne: "I downloaded it into my being, so yes. The beams are quite terrifying. And it has enough power to blow us up in one hit."
Valron: "...Speaking of, do we even know what happened to him after that whole incident? Is he back with the Time Cops proper, or...?"
Commander Borne: "I repaired the Charles Magellean Infinity Drive, however, so we should have a good 15 minutes of invincibility to fly past them with."
Nonna: "You're full of surprises, Commander Borne."
Commander Borne: "The Arbiter, I am unaware of what happened to him. It appears he beat us out here, is all I can tell."
Valron: "Hm. He would slip past the cracks again... Oh well. I guess we'll get to him when there's time."
Commander Borne: *Glances at Nonna* "Yes. Well, there is one part to my story I can explain. There was a crewmember named Garrick. In a different universe, he would be where I am right now. He, like me, was about figuring out technological responses to problems. However, he became captivated by the religion of The Destroyer and... ...well, you can guess what happens to people obsessed with destruction."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He kept screaming 'No More Killing' even though he killed scores and wanted to kill me too. I think he lost his mind completely, by the end."
Commander Borne: *Shrugs* "It was The Destroyer who did it to him, honestly."
Valron: "...To be honest, I'm rather amazed I came out of that temporary affiliation unscathed."
Commander Borne: "He was a trusting fellow. Unlike Valron, who trusts no one fully, as it should be. Or Xavier, who is too insane to actually let anything effect him for long."
Nonna: *Continued to pet Gelato as well* "You're certainly full of surprises, too."
Valron: "It doesn't help that I've had my soul detached from my body until recently."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wolfman did die, and I do care about the untimely demise of Donald Duck."
Valron: "No, I'm joking about that, either."
Commander Borne: "I'm not even going to ask who Donald Duck was."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It was in a simulation world and he replaced Aribar due to Kuj--"
Valron: "So, ah. Thanks for fixing that up, even if it wasn't intentional, Borne."
Commander Borne: "I said I wasn't asking. Oh, you're welcome. Repairing things... that was what I wanted to do with the nanites. I wanted to repair Garrick."
Gelato: -w- *Purrrrr.*
Commander Borne: "He could have been whole again, free of that wasting disease his worthless creators had left on him. ...But of course, you can only repair the body. The mind belongs to whoever has it. In any case, I felt it was my duty to take the place of Garrick, because while the Destroyer is tech minded, he's not... very general. He specializes entirely in weapons of untold destruction, possibly as a result of his need to destroy something. He explained some of it to me, but it involved destroying the Time Cops, so..." *Shrugs* "He has said he is more interested in being careful about who he defeats, though. Something about 'destroy the wrong things and you never regain yourself from it'."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. In another dimension, he destroyed the Time Cops and Kuja and everything, but then there wasn't enough left of him to understand destroying Nintendus and Alsa was pointless. He had lost track of what he was doing utterly."
Commander Borne: "So here we are, about to move into combat range of deadly satellites and run a smuggler run towards Opus. ...Any questions before things start catching on fire for real?"
Nonna raises a hand.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I already know everything, so." *Flips through his smash dex using its primitive buttons* "All I need to do is build a giant unsmiley face out of keys and burn Aetos effigies on it to ensure his soul continues suffering in the X-Zone forever... heh heh heh..."
Commander Borne: "Yes? And don't mind Xavier, his brain is part dishwasher."
Nonna: "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Commander Borne: "Plenty."
Valron: "It actually does pretty well, too. My mug came out of it surprisingly clean."
Commander Borne: "We haven't had a lot of fresh recruits lately. Most of us other than I and you and Valron and Walther tend to be either nutty or unusual... you can help man various battlestations as we fly there, and when we do get on Opel, you can probably aid in talking to people and investigating."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm plenty stealthy!"
Nonna: "Understood."
Commander Borne: *Talking a bit softly* "He still doesn't get that sounding like a gigantic collection of trash cans and throwing toasters at people isn't a useful stealth mission component..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Loudly slams his fist on the panel and flips loud, chunky buttons and switches* "I hate how smooth and slippery these new buttons are. I need to put some sand in their joints so they sound as old as I do."
Gelato: "..." '-'
Commander Borne: "...Any other questions? Even old people should ask, if there is something. Because when this place gets hit by lasers it gets too loud to talk... ...which reminds me. You should have a communicator or something... text... device thing. Because we aren't usually in range."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I should give them a smash dex!"
Valron: "...I can also help with battle stations if need be. While I'm much more comfortable flying a smaller ship on my own, I can at least help man a battlestation of some sort. I do have a good deal of experience with it, at least."
Commander Borne: "You could, but those weigh so much they take up too much space and slow people down."
Valron: *He pauses as he glances over at Xavier.* "Make sure it's actually working instead of spewing out a freshly-sliced pastrami like the last one."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's perfectly light!" *Drops dex with enough weight to bend some of the controls.*
Metal Man (GM): Borne casually gives Nonna a slimmer, more modern text/voice communicator.
Nonna: "Oh, um... thanks."
Valron: *He light shakes his head.* "Honestly, I'm glad I have this visor, or else I would just be so tremendously annoyed by how inadequate the Dexes are..."
Commander Borne: "This won't tell you the stats of over 700 roaming monsters and data about what a stupid idiot named Kinnin did 50 years ago, but it should actually be reliable for texting information during loud battles."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Flips through and plays back a video of an idiotic looking person screaming 'I AM THE NINTENDO MASTER!!!' and falling in a pit* "Ah... you're missing out... feel free to ask if you wish to upgrade to the REAL thing."
Commander Borne: "...His communicator is still using technology they used on 1990's Earth, so it's not much of an upgrade. I made sure to avoid Garrick's mistake and not try to highlight that too much. He's sensitive about it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, there was the fact Garrick made his out of magitek too."
Valron: "...Again, really thankful I have this visor. It cost me some coins, but it's been very much worth it."
Commander Borne: "...I forgot that, actually."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah. Radioactive telephones. Even I figured that was a bad idea! And that radioactive drum set... ...we had to bury it in a giant concrete lined pit."
Valron: "Don't remind me of that thing. I swear that stupid thing is actually evil."
Commander Borne: "The good news is unlike Garrick, I have never been tempted to make a radioactive drum set... ...these people weird even me out, sometimes, and I was razed, I mean raised, by psycho killers."
Valron: "...Reminds me that I should get that guitar fixed up. ...And that other device I stole off that one fellow. In any case..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's all right. In a few minutes the explosions will drown out the sound of my bad jokes... ...so any more questions before we get to that? Oh, I almost forgot. I should feed Gelato." *Offers Gelato a pear, a Ricky Martin CD, and a complete Ghostbusters VHS collection to eat.*
Valron: "Mmhh... Nothing I can particularly think of."
Nonna: "That's what he eats, huh?" *Watching this feeding take place.*
Valron: "He eats a lot of things. There's little he won't digest."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, he can eat anything, but I had to switch away from the live ammunition. It tended to result in explosive belching."
Gelato: *D* *He promptly swallows all three whole, the "Food" sliding down his throat to float in his stomach. Nonna could see the pear quickly beginning to dissolve, though the CD and VHS tapes seem to be taking a lot longer.*
Valron: "...Mind you, his preferred food is ham."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Which reminds me, I'm hungry too." *Picks up a piece of the burnt air conditioner and eats it.*
Valron: "...I already ate, so I'm good."
Commander Borne: "...There is no actual explanation for why Xavier eats those things, on the other hand."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, a magic remote gave me the power to eat anything like Kirby."
Commander Borne: "She doesn't know what Kirby is."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Nobody does anymore! I swear, so uncultured..."
Gelato: *He burps. The faint scent of furn and flesh is there, along with the pear.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm... I'm guessing that's also why the air conditioner fell from the ceiling... I don't blame Gelato, it tastes better than it did while functional, and I can always warp in another. So then, I guess it's time to get going. Just be prepared to duck occasionally, this thing tends to pop rivets..." *He steps on a weird gas pedal, spins the spinning lever, flips a switch and bends a switch to make the ship move forward at decent speed.*
Commander Borne: "You could have hit the 'go' button."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Such simplicity is for dweebs."
Valron: "Again, that would make sense."
Metal Man (GM): The ship goes on its way towards the danger zone... and I'll pause about here if everyone's okay, feel free to post a reaction just before it. Will continue on weekend to pick up more people... caffeine worked well tonight, though. I'll be sure to tank up with a cup of joe before next session too. Also... yes... I should reward EXP. My todo shall be to give out EXP for this session before the next one. I need to finalize my algorithms. Also, thanks to everyone for showing up on short notice and such.
Metal Man (GM): Introduction: The Questers began their work--specifically flying towards the planet of Opus. The plan being to get past a series of heavily defended stations with laser batteries that prevented Xavier from entering there the previous time. A group of mercenaries dropped off a new recruit, Nonna, as well, after they had encountered difficulty moving through the section. Xavier sits at the controls, as the distance between where the Questers are and the laser batteries decreases, now getting rather close indeed. He watches it on his setup of weird green monotone monitors. As he flips all sorts of random switches all over the messy mess of a control panel he has. Continuation: The other Questers would either be in the room or nearby. The ship would occasionally bump slightly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Flips on PA system and speaks* "Just a few minutes until we get into engagement range with those Time Cop defense stations. I figure this is the best time to strap all loose valuables down, and if you have any suggestions, to note them to me. It's probably going to be a bit rough getting through this, but we should be able to use surprise against them."
Valron: "While I'd have suggested the prospect of using whatever ships we do have, mine is... still out getting converted, last I checked. That, and it probably wouldn't be a good idea anyways, seeing as it doesn't have CharlesTech Brand Absurd-o Shields." *He shrugs.* "Regardless, remind me... What's the Wing Fortress armed with, again?"
KitRedgrave meanwhile, face-first down in a pile of scribbled notes and archive holo-books asleep, wakes up with the sudden loud announcement blaring into whatever nook she was working in.
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Flips switches* "Well..."
Nonna: *Hanging around where the action was, but being quiet and preferring to observe everyone else at work. She awaited someone to give her an idea of what to do.*
Metal Man (GM): A bunch of weird, conflicting user interfaces show up, from all over the places.
KitRedgrave would walk in to the bridge, looking exactly as frizzled, messy, half-asleep and annoyed as you'd expect. "What's going on here? Where are we off to now?"
Metal Man (GM): The first one is an old Charles Magellean interface, really broken... think Windows 95. It has a bunch of bars.
Nonna: *Was a little startled by KitRedgrave entering the bridge suddenly* "Ah... hello."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The mostly intact piece of Charles' system... it's a bit buggy though."
Gelato: *Kit's being hugged by a dragon!*
Valron: "Of course it's a bit buggy. I'd be surprised if it actually worked perfectly."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It provides the force field... Illian's damage ensures it is no longer invincible, unfortunately. We'll have to... mine some materials to repair it. It is only... mostly invincible."
KitRedgrave looks over at Nonna for a second before it occurs to her that there's somebody new here! And is being snuggled by a familiar goo dragon, who gets some pettings.
Valron: "Well, let's just jot down the minerals thing as something to do for later. Anything else about it that can be fixed up without minerals, or no? Regardless... What else do we have?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Of course... we have lots of other things. First and foremost... my things."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier presses a button and a bunch of sparks show up, then some analog panels show up with old school vacuum tube counters and numbers all over the place.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I hate UI and nonsensical screens, so naturally my array of stolen Robotnik guns just simply have... percentages and numbers... ...they consist of a ton of laser cannons and machineguns, gatling guns to be exact. Also of course, the ram on the front of the ship. It can ram an enemy ship and take the blunt of the damage."
KitRedgrave: "Hello!" *The fox ears perk up.* "I guess we'll have to get introduced later, since it looks like we're about to get shot by what looks like an entire space navy."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Don't start any Jenga towers when that happens, mind you. In fact I'd suggest we all get in here before impact, given the fact none of the rest of the ship has anywhere near the shielding to not get bent out of shape from an impact. I've gotten a bit older though, and know that my lasers are a bit outdated, as are the bullets. In fact, they failed me the last time I was here, so I have new ones..." *He flips open a much more professional looking UI and dynamic, Linux-like setup.* "Borne has lent his... railgun devices from his Dauntless technology."
Nonna: "Indeed." *She looked to Xavier* "Are there any amplifier devices onboard which we could use? I possess some bombardment magic, but it would be too weak to affect a defense station without amplification."
Valron: "We... should probably update those or something. Mind you, the weapons themselves, not the displays, seeing as you're more than likely going to man those. Presumably." *He pauses as he sees the other UI, giving a nod.* "Good, good..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, yes and no. Amplifiers exist inside the old, derelict MTAs I brought with me. I suspect if you could spot-weld them into the empty gunport positions it would become possible to use them on that level."
Gelato: *He slithers off, heading over to Xavier and tilting his head at the screens.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, normally I'm just used to using a random number generator to push buttons for me, but I guess I can have you actually man the displays... mind the chairs, I think they got a bit bent during the last 200 catastrophic destructions this ship encountered."
Valron: "I'm not going to try my hand with the MTAs. Last time I used one, I kinda came back with... I want to say an arm and a leg? Mind you, that was... Quite a few years back, so. Hm."
Nonna: "I see..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Then there's one final piece in the puzzle, well, two."
Metal Man (GM): He gestures over to something newer... the Phase Cannons.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Borne was so gracious as to put those things on here, after he decommissioned the Black Ship."
Metal Man (GM): Borne walks over, casually sitting in the chair for it.
Valron: "...Ahaha, I see. Wonderful."
Commander Borne: "Yes, because the Black Ship, while powerful, was never going to be able to surprise these people."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We are... also in possession of something else."
Metal Man (GM): Borne casually gestures to the remnants of the Anti-Reality-Drive gun.
Valron: "Probably for the best, in any case." *He shrugs, before glancing over to Xavier.* "And that would be...? ...Oh. ...Oh dear."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We have no means to power it... and no means to fire it. It is here nonetheless, in the case that we need it."
Valron: "I shouldn't be surprised that we still have that thing lying about, but..."
Gelato: owo *He scampers over to examine it more closely.*
Nonna: *Returned to the background, watching everyone else at work.*
Metal Man (GM): The ARD gun possesses what looks like a million little metal plates and highly advanced super-tech, even the chair mag-levs off the ground. However the supertech displays indicate it has, yes, no power and no barrel, as it were.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Personally, I like it, I think it just needs re-engineering... ...we can't do that yet, though. But you know. Perhaps sometime."
Commander Borne: "I realistically only have plans to fire it once more. ...At the home planet of the Time Cop who decided to target Alsa."
Editor's Note: Huh... and he actually did get to do that, one day. Don't mess with Borne!
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Shudders a bit* "Not to worry, though, I'm quite certain we'll... not have to do that..."
Valron: "This does give me an idea for something else. Albeit for later, mind..." *He shrugs as he idly looks over the Reality Reversal Drive for a moment, before going to man the railguns.* "Bah! Never, ever assume you're ever going to need something only once."
Nonna: "Who is that Time Cop, anyway?"
Valron: "Sometimes, people just do not have the decency to learn not to stick their arm into a raging inferno."
Commander Borne: "I don't entirely know. I suspect it was Ael, or Lyx. One of their superiors, probably, since both of them went to Alsa on the orders of somebody else. And not the Arbiter since Lyx apparently hates the Arbiter, but Ael was like some buddy cop with the Arbiter. ...Of course the Arbiter is a creation, so he doesn't have a home planet, anyway. As ironic as it would be to destroy the Arbiter using his own technology... ...he hasn't interfered in a while."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...In any case, we're about there, so we'll need to figure out battle orders or something."
Valron: "A good idea, yes. Doubt any of us would really like to charge in blind..."
KitRedgrave: "Battle orders... against an entire navy. With one ship."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "A good way to put it." *Casually dials up the Charles shield.*
Nonna: "Do we have the element of surprise, at least?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes."
KitRedgrave: "...Why exactly are we flying into an entire navy again?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The ship we're in was one they defeated before. On the outside, it looks the same. The enemy navy blocks our entry to the outer systems. The true barrier between Nintendus and my home world was simply this blockade. Anyone with a Time Engine like we have now can otherwise go between worlds lickety-split."
KitRedgrave: "That is a lot just to make sure you never leave."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The blockade was created long ago due to... ...well I don't really know, but there's a lot of dangerous stuff other than us and Nintendus."
Nonna: "Should we aim to disable rather than destroy, then?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "When I was being chased by the Time Cops, they specifically chased me here. The Nintendus system had killed everyone who entered it without question. Well, my plan in specific is sort of... ...running past them while screaming with lasers. Basically get by them before they can figure out what happened."
Nonna: "I'd imagine the time cops stationed there are just grunts doing their job."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Low level ones at that, because this duty is dangerous and yet, boring."
Valron: "Well, that just screams 'focus on disabling weapon systems' to me."
Gelato: *He seems to be playing with the remnants of the ARD gun.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Few things actually escape this area and go towards them."
Metal Man (GM): *the ARD gun makes weird beepy noises as it is played with.*
Nonna: "Weapons systems and... do we have anything which can confuse their sensors?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Already do. We have a Time Cop engine which gives off a spec of a different ship entirely. When their IFF is activated on the engine, they will think Judge Dredd is coming back from his long-failed war on Alsa."
KitRedgrave: "...Wow. Makes me wish I paid attention at all to what you were doing while I was studying."
Valron: "In any case... Who's handling what? I know we've got Borne manning the Phase Cannons, and that I've got the railguns. Who's got the obsolete gunpile cluster, anyways? That you, Xavier, or will you be too busy with the shields?"
Commander Borne: "He was using his Time Cop device and my stolen Arbiter data to reverse engineer it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The gunpile cluster tends to run itself... but if somebody wishes to utilize that, be my guest."
Gelato: *The beepy boopy noises only spur further and harder play, spinning the seat around.*
Valron: "So that's automatic. Got it. Anything else that needs to be noted, or will that be it?"
Commander Borne: "We have limited ammunition, so we cannot really use too much... we should decide carefully."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I think the main question is..." *Shows diagram.*
Valron: "Hmm... I guess we should look for spots where we should maximize damage, then..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The St. Excellus is the main laser battery we're flying near, if only because they said things that annoyed me on my way towards Nintendus."
Nonna: "We just need to be invisible to the blockade, and run through it quickly without retaliation or pursuers. Besides disabling their weapons and confusing their sensors, there's the possibility they will attempt to hail us. Our refusal will only increase their suspicion. Is there a way we can get some of them to temporarily leave the blockade first?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes, that's also where I come in... well actually me and Illian and Borne. As far as they're concerned, we're separate entities. So if we distract them by talking while you attack with the disparate weapon systems, and we scramble the IFF with that Judge Dredd thing, then they get the picture several separate armies are attacking them. ...I did suggest to some of them they come along, but not enough ships remained from that psychotic battle back on Nintendus... if you guys can--"
Metal Man (GM): Illian casually walks in and slams an amplifier into an empty battle station.
Nonna: "Hm... if they do try to contact us... can someone feed me lines that this Judge Dredd is likely to say?" *She checked one of her pockets for the omni-disguise.*
Valron: "...Oh, hey." *He gives a lazy wave to Illian, not even seeming to pay the amplifier slam much mind.*
Commander Borne: "Easily."
Metal Man (GM): Borne would casually send to Nonna's device information on Judge Dredd and his psychotic belief in 'The law' and how he was dealing with Alsa to 'enforce the law' and 'avenge the broken contact' and 'teach the garbage worlders that they are trash'
Gelato: "EeeeEEEEeeeEEEEeee!" *That chair is whirling like crazy behind them all.*
Metal Man (GM): Illian casually attaches a glowing LED light to Gelato so that Gelato makes interesting lines of light as he spins around.
Illian MacGregor: "I put in an amplifier. I only had one that worked. We can go fix up the other stations for that later."
Nonna: "Thank you, Borne." *She'd glance at Illian for a second.*
Illian MacGregor: "I'm going to tell them I have killed everyone in your homeworlds and that I am coming for them next. That should be confusing enough alongside the others to make them wonder if a Chrono-cascade is breaking reality. Which is enough to make them doubt whether it's safe to even fight us, because chrono-shifted targets will simply destroy reality if the wrong weapon hits them."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It should buy us long enough to slam into their block-field with ours and wreck what they're doing."
Valron: "Handy."
Illian MacGregor: "One or more of you can cast magic into this amplifier to further screw them up, anyway." *He sighs to himself.* "I wish I had a chance to get one of those MAC cannons, but that Garrick just had to..." *He trails off and walks over to the side, grumbling to himself continually.*
Valron: "...Oh, hey. If I can do that with the Amplifier, then maybe I can throw around the occasional Charge every so often... Also, it could be possible to make our own variant of those later on down the line, but... Yes. Still a bit bothersome."
Nonna: "Hopefully we won't have to use those." *She looked to the amplifiers.*
Valron: "Something tells me you proooobably shouldn't keep your hopes up..."
KitRedgrave notices the amplifiers and earperks some more. "Those really worked in practice too...?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "They were the only part of the machinery from the MTA that was actually any good."
KitRedgrave: "Back home, that was just a theoretical oddity that we weren't sure actually was real. Very interesting..."
Valron: "Why that bit in particular? Was the rest of it too obsolete and rusted, or...?"
Gelato: *He finally hops off the chair, trotting back to the group with the LED on his head.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I must admit we kind of... did things without really figuring out if it was possible first."
Nonna: "One must never lose hope."
Valron: "...Yeah, fair. That is kind of the norm for us, really. If I hadn't already seen enough transcendentally absurd rubbish to last me a lifetime, I'd honestly be a bit more surprised that we lived through all of it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "In any case, we're there in about 5 minutes now... everyone should get to their stations or take cover..."
Commander Borne: "I'm tracking the movement of the enemy battlestation, it's begun to notice our location."
Valron: "Bit late to tell me that. Kinda already made myself comfortable with the railguns."
KitRedgrave: "Okay, how do I use this thing? Do I just cast something at it?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes."
KitRedgrave: "Can do."
Valron: "Want to me throw out a Charge for you, first?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's dead simple. And for the life of me I don't know why we didn't just rip it out and use it as a standard-issue weapon..."
Nonna: *Prepared the omni-disguise if she needed it. She looked to the amplifiers as well, in case they shoot first before communicating.*
Commander Borne: "Mostly because it's the size of a small car, the functional part anyway."
Gelato: *He pokes Borne's leg, looking up.*
Commander Borne: *Glances at Gelato* "Hmmm?"
KitRedgrave pulls out the book, and flips over to the handy list of spells known.
Metal Man (GM): The massive space station starts to come into view. It's easily nearly the size of half the moon.
Gelato: owo *He looks between the guns.* "...Cheep?"
Commander Borne: "Is there something about the guns, Gelato?" *He puts a hand to his chin.*
Metal Man (GM): The station is one of many, that make a gigantic network of shields that extend as far as the eye can see.
KitRedgrave points at the amplifier and starts casting Distraction from it, hopefully looking like... really, anything can happen if we're pretending to be corrupt and broken in time!
Metal Man (GM): And the gigantic shields quite clearly encompass the entire area, blocking this area out... but also apparently isolating Nintendus from the other realms too.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Huh, I don't recall that..."
Metal Man (GM): Borne glances to Kit and makes some gesture. Some other noises start to be heard from the hull--they sound like interference. One kind from inside the ship, another from the Distraction element Kit is casting.
Commander Borne: "I guess Gelato is wondering if he can do something here..."
Gelato: *Nod nod.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Probably in a minute, actually." *Flips some switches* "After the boring discussion thing is over and inevitably parts of things start exploding, I think I might need some shielding when I inevitably have to go outside and repair something."
Commander Borne: "I'd ask how you know that, but then again..." *Glances nervously at the millions of welds in the walls and ceiling.*
Gelato: ^w^ *He runs and sits next to Xavier, then!*
Metal Man (GM): The comms show up; the first one shows up before Xavier.
Valron: *He pauses for a moment, digging into his mantle for a moment, before pulling out... a small, dark blue book.* "Let's see here..." *He flips it open, glancing about for a moment, before going to cast Charge on the amplifier.* "Okay, whatever you plan on throwing out next, it better be somethin' big. That's all I have to say." *He chuckles softly.*
Time Cop Officer 1: "Greetings, unknown space ship. You are violating Treaty 32.5D: That no sub-world will enter the metaverse. Turn back or be destroyed."
Valron: *He then puts the book away, shifting his attention back to his own station, idly humming to himself as he waits.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: *C* "Greetings! It is I, the Time H---Bandit! I... have come back from the dead, and you... are not going to stop me!"
Metal Man (GM): The officer pauses for a moment.
Time Cop Officer 1: "What..." *Flips through a holo-book* "What..."
Metal Man (GM): He stares.
Time Cop Officer 1: "Class III situation! Class III--" *Cuts off.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I hope that confused 'em enough."
Commander Borne: "Enemy laser cannons coming online. Luckily we have the other comms starting as we make evasive maneuvers..."
Metal Man (GM): The main screen shows the giant main laser cannon of the station charging up... most weapons on the Wing Fortress aren't in range to hit it yet. The amplifier is also ready, though... On the side, a video of Illian can be seen.
Illian MacGregor: "Attention, Time Cops: I have come to kill you, after I have killed everyone in this system. There will be no survivors. I am Illian, Emperor of the Solarians. My people have come to destroy everything you cherish and burn all that you know to ashes and build anew. Surrender and you shall die peacefully. Fight... and you shall die painfully."
Metal Man (GM): The Time Cop Officer gets shoved aside as someone familiar to Valron would show up: Omnus.
Nonna: *Looked back and forth for an opportunity to utilize the disguise plan. If not, she would head to the amplifiers to prepare for battle.*
Valron: "...Oh, goody. Just who I wanted to see. The person who I plan on sending straight to hell. ...Well, one of them, anyways."
Metal Man (GM): The laser delays its firing while they try to figure out what's going on, leaving it open to whoever. Nonna would notice she could execute a separate comms instance with the space station, if she wished--the disguise/other things are allowing the ship to masquerade as many other ships, including Dredd's.
Omnus: "What is the meaning of this... Illian is dead... ...or if he isn't, then... ...you cannot come here, Illian. You broke the plan. This universe was never supposed to be--"
Illian MacGregor: "I tire of your worthless non-Solarian ideals. The killing will be stopped. Your energies have been designated as the next to be destroyed. I have destroyed Smash Energy--now Time Cop Energy shall be destroyed."
Omnus: "You cannot prove that you exist! Your ship or ships are under a giant cloak, I am certain, if they even exist. You cannot fire a single laser to prove your point. If you truly master that universe, then why are you talking... yes... let us see who has the better laser. Then perhaps I will take you seriously... old friend."
Nonna: *She used the omni-disguise to transform into Judge Dredd, and activated the comms.* "Hmph. What the hell are you posers doing? I have a sacred mission to complete and you morons are in the way. Clear a path, or face the wrath of the law!"
Metal Man (GM): The comms to Illian turns off. Omnus shoves a different officer aside upon encountering the comms Nonna sends.
Omnus: "What? Wait... how are YOU alive? The other person I can believe, but this is complete nonsen--" *Looks at stats* "What is your ship doing there? You're in between the Time Hobo and The Destroyer! You said very clearly you would tell us you were coming. Isn't it a violation of your law? Wait... why am I even talking to you... it's obvious that you wouldn't talk this way... ..." *The other comms officers stare at Omnus, equally confused.* "Somebody get to the bottom of this, before this gets even more confu--"
Commander Borne: *C* "Attention Time Cops: It is the Alsan defense force, the Black Ship is coming to destroy you."
Omnus: "Aaaaargh! Turn it off! I'm tired of this nonsense!"
Metal Man (GM): Borne then casually puts Gelato in the ARD's control chair.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Isn't that broken?"
Valron: *He stifles a laugh, pondering if he should further add to the confusion, but. Well. Yeah.* "And I didn't even get to say 'hello'. Ah well..."
Commander Borne: "Yes. But it can still make firing noises. The controls are missing... most of the wiring is missing..."
Valron: "So it's just the ultimate toy gun at the moment."
Commander Borne: "So Gelato, just short circuit it to think it has fuel and make it 'fire.' I'm going to have to replace the controls anyway, since whatever I'm using with it... isn't going to work with the old ones."
Metal Man (GM): The amplifier is still set to use charge. Now as to whether it works on energy attacks...
Judge Dredd?: "I AM telling you I'm coming. Right now. The big question is... why are you questioning me while your duty is to take those feeble villains into custody? I was going to offer to take them on alongside you all, but for that insult... that questionable allegiance to the law... you can take care of them yourselves, and maybe, just maybe I'll forgive you!"
Gelato: *He's an expert at breaking things! He starts tinkering with controls, trying to make the gun go pew pew.*
Omnus: *C* "I can't take them out right now, they're under a cloaking field... you however, are under the field. Why don't YOU send me their locations and let me confirm they exist?"
Metal Man (GM): The controls begin to blink rapidly, as Gelato would find wires under the fancy stuff, finding a lot of little safeguard resistors he could eat. Xavier, meanwhile, takes somewhat more drastic measures, plugging the microphone on his station into his flaming golf club. The screen shows one of the comms officers running away from his station as it makes high pitched static noises.
Commander Borne: "It seems like we've confused them... they're powering on all their lasers, but they can't seem to get a firing solution on us. I keep seeing them firing radar bursts and failing to get anything useful on us."
Valron: "Good, good..."
KitRedgrave: "I think I got something in the worst case, if we need to blast them or just dodge everything."
Gelato: *He starts munching on them loudly, sitting on the wires and getting all the power routed through him.*
Judge Dredd?: "You damned lazy... I demand to speak to your CO. NOW. OR I'LL HAVE YOU IMPRISONED AND STRIPPED OF YOUR RANK, BOY!"
Omnus: *C* "Whatever... whoever is beneath that craziness... or even if it IS all of you... you can't get past us. This is our defense line! Those of you who are on my side, prove it! Those who aren't, well... ...go away." *He would cough and chuckle a bit at 'Dredd.'* "I am the highest ranking officer of this station, and leader of the Time Cops... I am quite certain unless they damaged your brain, you'd remember that..." *He taps his hands.* "Of course, you left so long ago, maybe I wasn't then? ...It doesn't really matter, that annoying person before me died."
Metal Man (GM): Gelato glows strangely, and would have a 'thought' of being able to access the controls, since the data is now flowing through him. Suddenly, a massive laser blast issues from the station, missing by hundreds of miles.
Omnus: "I hate outer space... when are you lousy people going to figure out a better firing position?" *Shoves another officer around on camera.*
Gelato: OwO *HE MAKES IT GO PEW PEW!*
Metal Man (GM): Alarms go off on Omnus' stations. Additionally, the power up noise from the ARD can be heard... it makes a chilling noise as the lights flicker violently and some sparks fly about.
KitRedgrave: "Let me know when..."
Omnus: "... We can't risk the field. I detected a legitimate ARD powerup... ..." *He closes the comms, and the stations start moving.*
Metal Man (GM): Specifically, the St. Excellis is moving towards the Wing Fortress, while the others are defending themselves with their own fields.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Wha?"
Valron: "...The hell?"
Commander Borne: "Good news is that they probably can't hit us with all our stuff... bad news is, they're large enough to probably hit us with their inaccurate but close enough knowledge of our location."
Nonna: *Taking the disguise off* "Well, that didn't work. Their commander was unusually sharp."
Valron: "He's annoying like that."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Omnus was the one that kept me from escaping this whole time. It appears he hasn't changed."
KitRedgrave: "Guess we need to get fast. Do we have any more charges?"
Commander Borne: "We need to disable their ability to move, or they'll be able to shove us all the way back with one good crash."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm pretty sure we have charges, we hardly used anything."
Commander Borne: "Unfortunately we can't fire up that ARD thing again... but it should be good enough."
KitRedgrave: "I /do/ have a spell of haste... maybe it can work on the entire ship? Is this amplifier even that strong?"
Valron: "The Charge spell I casted on the amplifier should still be in effect. Unless someone already cast a spell after that?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm not exactly sure what would happen if you did that."
Commander Borne: "Me neither."
Nonna: *Went to the amplifiers.*
Valron: "Regardless, I can ready another Charge."
Commander Borne: "The amplifier charge was used on that disguise, which, arguably, bought us time by confusing him anyway. ...We should hurry, that station is picking up speed."
KitRedgrave: "Let's try it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I won't even get to go outside if that thing nails us... we're way too small to survive direct impact."
Valron: "Okay, will do" *Once again, he pulls out the book, flips it open, then casts Charge on the amplifier.*
KitRedgrave: "I have NO IDEA if it'll work ... but that's how we do it."
Valron: "Okay, there. Do it."
Commander Borne: "At this point we don't have a lot of options. If we attack it and destroy its engines, the sheer momentum is still too high."
Nonna: "Tell me when it would be appropriate to use bombardment magic."
Valron: "If we go Plaid as a side-effect, then that's just how it goes."
KitRedgrave flips a few pages, and with a fair bit of uncertainty attempts to cast Agility. On the ship.
Commander Borne: "I'd say do it now, because that thing is coming close to us... ...well do it after Kit is done with that."
Metal Man (GM): The ship speeds up. It becomes a bit hard to stand, as the gravity moves a bit from it trying to maneuver.
KitRedgrave casts it through the charged amplifier, for clarity's sake.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...We won't quite make it but we should be able to move sideways fast enough to scrape by at this rate... and I wouldn't try that again, we're at near maximum gravity tolerance."
Gelato: *He runs over to the comm screen, poking it.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship groans loudly from being stretched.
Valron: "Whoa! Okay, I had a feeling the ride was gonna be bumpy, but jeeze..."
Metal Man (GM): The comm screen indicates that, at least currently, the comms between here and the other ship are cut off; the other ship locked it off.
Valron: "We... We probably shouldn't try Baton Toss, given our current state, huh?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Baton toss???"
Valron: "...Mind you, it's a bit late for that."
Smash Dex: *DING* "Two Pokémon switch places."
KitRedgrave: "...Ahahaha."
Nonna: *A sword-like object emerges from within Nonna. She grabs it, and its form becomes more visible: A blade composed almost entirely of darkness. She pointed it at the amplifier, and unleashed a monstrous amount of dark energy into the receptor.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Well we might have to try it, given the fact we can't escape the sheer largeness of that station if we don't do something insane."
KitRedgrave: "Hahahahawhaawhatareyoudoing?!"
Valron: "...Or our new pal here can unleash darkness and annihilation, sure. Why not."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Huh. That reminds me of the Sword of Darkness. I have no clue why there'd be a second one, but okay."
Valron: "Weren't there like fifteen of those things?"
Metal Man (GM): A gigantic explosion hits the station, causing it to flicker a bit--it continues coming, though.
Nonna: *She uses Hræsvelgr, amplified version!*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Ah, right... ...still, that one isn't setting my sword of light off."
Valron: "And Dracula had one of them for some reason?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Which means it isn't the Sword of Darkness. I woulda felt it otherwise."
Valron: "Don't ask me why I remember that, but that's a thing. ...Also didn't you leave the Sword of Light behind in a microwave."
Commander Borne: "Maybe we can figure out the history of that sword when we're not about to crash into a giant moon-sized space station."
KitRedgrave: "Or else isn't it supposed to not want to leave Nintendus? Anyhow."
Gelato: *He tries to use Baton Toss to switch places with the oncoming ship.* "Eee!" :D
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's the story I told my insurance adjusters..." *He looks around shifty-eyed.* "I guess if you want to get picky, it's just a sword made of light energy, because the sentient part of it definitely wasn't going anywhere."
Metal Man (GM): For one moment, time malfunctions. Then suddenly everything is sideways and the ship is now hurtling in an unknown direction.
KitRedgrave blinks. What. Just. Happened.
Metal Man (GM): The lights flicker and sparks fly everywhere as the ship is now diagonally flying away from the field and... not directly towards Opus, but definitely outside the field.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Not gonna ask."
Metal Man (GM): The comms lights up again.
Valron: "...U-Urgh. Well, that could've gone better..."
Omnus: "What... ...what did you do? That was a violation of at least 3 rules of time! You... ...you... ...you already have maximum wanted level. ...What do I pay these idiots for???"
Gelato: *D* *He looks into the screen.*
Metal Man (GM): *Officer salutes at Omnus.*
Officer: "We cannot predict the unpredictable, sir!"
KitRedgrave asks quietly, off-comms. "Is that a new record?"
Nonna: *Sat back down calmly, the sword gone.*
Gelato: :D *And there's promptly a bright Flash of light into the screen to blind the officers.*
Omnus: "Yes... that's right... ...the station was filled with low level recruits... ...which was a policy Lyx created... ...damn you, stupid ahhhhhhhh!"
Metal Man (GM): The comms turn off as Omnus covers his eyes. A laser flies by, scraping the side of the shields, but the Wing Fortress flies away faster than Omnus and the station of idiotic people can turn around and attack with.
Valron: "...As amazing as that was, let's. Ah. Try and keep that to a minimum? If we can, anyways"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "More importantly, we're going to need to repair the engine, because all that time shifting has it confused... ...but at least we got through that mess."
Metal Man (GM): The ship makes some groaning and malfunctiony noises as it rumbles shakily towards Opus.
KitRedgrave: "...How many of these amplifiers do we have? I gotta get myself one of those."
Commander Borne: "More importantly, we won't have to sit behind a bunch of desks in space and pray some automated machinery will work when we tell it to do things."
Gelato: 'w' *He helped.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "One for each person on the ship... but they're like, the size of small cars, so you can't carry them... yet!"
KitRedgrave: "...yet?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The tech is old, and we never thought to miniaturize it. In fact until today, MTAs had been thought of having no redeeming tech on them anywhere. We never thought to try casting crazy nonsense into the emitter while hooking it up to a giant power source, you see."
KitRedgrave: "Ah. It's amazing the things we don't think of, and the things we DO..."
Commander Borne: "Yes, I wager most of the traditional weapon systems are obsoleted by it... ...or can probably be controlled by it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But... but my millions of incompatible user interfaces!"
Commander Borne: "If it hadn't been for that one amplifier, we'd probably have been exploded by that thing flying at us."
Nonna: "Well that was interesting."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "My guns could have--"
Commander Borne: "...uselessly dented their ship's shields."
Valron: "Hm. Well, there's an idea. Hooking up all the weapon systems to amplifiers."
KitRedgrave: "I don't know, there could be an uncomfortably close upper-bound to how much we can throw through it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "In any case... we'll get to get out of this tiresome space thing and do some proper ground stomping tomorrow." *Sets a course and gets up, stretching* "That was... something."
Commander Borne: "You're not quite done yet, you know.?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What?"
Commander Borne: "The destruction did cause a number of external damages."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh, right. The flaming wreckage effect. Come with me, Gelato, we have to go weld some giant burning holes in the ship."
Valron: "Should I come along/ It's not like I have to worry about something as trifling as breathing, anymore."
Nonna: *Looked visibly tired now, and kept quiet in her seat.*
Commander Borne: "I guess you can if you want... the others should probably get ready to go down on the surface, after some rest."
KitRedgrave is definitely wide-awake by this point, in contrast to the others, and noting down some more things in the Book's notes section.
Valron: "I may as well. While I'm sure those two are good at impromptu patchwork, I'm sure a bit of proper fixing up would help a bit. ...At least, as proper as you can get on this ship"
Commander Borne: "It can be difficult... this ship was blown apart and put together so many times, I don't even know if the parts were even from the same ship original ship anymore."
Valron: "If you have to try and figure that out, it's more likely than not that they aren't. At least, that's how I'm going to figure it being."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I blame Indalecieo. Even though that was just a simulation."
Valron: "No more simulations, please. I've had enough of them after that one creep and his Book knockoff."
KitRedgrave: "If you don't mind, I'm going to just sit here and figure out what exactly we just did. And how anything in this ship works... and the rest of the thousand years of everything I missed..."
Valron: "Go ahead, then."
Nonna: "Is this a normal day?"
Editor's Note: In this game, yeah!
KitRedgrave just keeps staring at the Book, looking clearly tired then.
Valron: "Yes, actually."
Commander Borne: "Illian is going to work on placing in more amplifiers. His note was 'inferior Dr. Light technology occasionally does something useful.'"
Valron: "You learn to appreciate the slow days a lot more in this line of work."
Commander Borne: "Also normal is relative when everyone is from all over the place. It will make more sense after a few more traumatic near death insta--normal days of work."
Gelato: *He finishes eating all those yummy parts, hopping down with a body full of deliciously toxic heavy metals.*
Valron: "It's about the same difference, all things considered. Mind you, I'm only particularly flippant about it, given half of... well, everything I've went through."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ah, good that you filled up before we left, Gelato. The parts on the outside of the ship are not for eating, because we have to weld them in place until the next time." *Takes out a really terrible looking blast torch* "This torch I salvaged from a submarine I found under the sea ought to be good enough."
Valron: "I go... pretty far back, to say the least. Not as far back as Illian and Xavier, mind you, but... It's something of a difference between 'old' and 'ancient', really." *He chuckles softly.*
Nonna: "I... I see."
Valron: "...Mind you, I'm actually a proper adult if we go into terms of actual age, but given half the stuff I've lived through, well... Yeah." *He coughs.* "Sorry. I'm prattling on again."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The answer is that in Nintendus club, you beat yourself in the face with a club to stop referencing random things that don't mean anything. Right, SIMBER?"
Commander Borne: "I'm not SIMBER."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh... right... forgot, we got rid of him a while ago..."
Valron: "...I'd just rather bury my face in a smothered burrito. We still have any of those left?"
KitRedgrave just stares for a second longer, gives up on trying to think much for now, and looks over. "Nonna, is it? I figure now I better introduce myself."
Commander Borne: "A few, yes."
Gelato: *He immediately zips over to Valron, looking up at him with big puppy eyes.*
Commander Borne: "We'll need to stock up at this... 'Opus' place. If they even know what burritos are."
Valron: "Okay, g... ood." *He pauses as he looks at Gelato.* "You want one?"
Nonna: "Yes, I'm Nonna. It's nice to meet you." *She offered a polite smile to Kit's introduction.*
KitRedgrave: "Catherine Redgrave of Alsa, nice to meet you too." *She bows a little.*
Valron: *He chuckles softly, before petting the smaller dragon on the head.* "C'mon then, little buddy. Let's go get some, then." *He goes to push himself up and out of the seat.*
Nonna: "This is all pretty overwhelming, I must admit."
Gelato: *He bounces along with Valron, ready for some munchin'.*
KitRedgrave: "That's how I feel all the time about this."
Valron: *He gives a glance over to Nonna.* "Yeah... it can be like that, especially at first. You... get used to it after a while, but the initial shock is certainly rather understandable." *He gives a nod, before going to walk off with Gelato. BURRITOS AWAIT!*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier casually eats a piece of limestone as he observes them walking off to get burritos.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wonder what sort of odd building materials I can get to eat from THIS planet..."
Nonna: *Sips some unsweetened lemon juice* "This will be an interesting little adventure."
KitRedgrave: "...I just realized. It's gonna be a long time before any of us go home..." *He slumps.*
Nonna: "Yes... yes it will be."
Commander Borne: "I plan to steal their teleporters. Just a matter of course. Alsa will likely not do so well if we cannot visit it now and again, since it has no magical protective spell on it like Nintendus does."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Note to self: Break copyright protection on Nintendus protection contract."
Nonna: "What threatens Alsa while we are away, Borne?"
Commander Borne: "Odd that you care, but it's more of a... ...it's to do with the tendency of new factions to arise and start wars on it, mostly."
KitRedgrave: "Heh, it has one protection... too bad it's stuck out here for now."
Commander Borne: "It is so chaotic there... even after we fixed what we did, it's unlikely to remain magically safe forever. Not that we need to interfere in everything. Just the big ones that are obviously going to wreck the entire planet... if those come up."
Nonna: "Miss Redgrave's home planet is Alsa."
KitRedgrave idly flips through the Book. "Hm... I wonder if I can still even reference it from here."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The Book contains all the data, so it'll still reference it. Its power is probably just not going to exceed that of mundane books all that much."
Valron: *He comes back, burrito in hand. ...Well, on a plate, mind you, but. Yes. Regardless, he goes to settle into the beanbag chair seeing as things have calmed down.* "Can't really say anything about homes, myself. Don't actually have one, really." *He shrugs.* "Regardless... This does bring me back to another matter, speaking of threats. Is there any possibility of Sloan trying to poke his ugly head back in, or is it likely that he's decided to stop directly bothering with Alsa altogether?"
KitRedgrave: "It'd be a disaster and a half if he made a move now..."
Commander Borne: "As far as we know, he left the world faster than we did, and probably had some means to slip through the Time Cop net too."
Valron: "Of course he would."
Nonna: "Is this Sloan person someone we should be concerned about?"
Commander Borne: "He stole several things that I have no comprehension of. The data I found left over indicated that he was trying to do something like Illian was trying, only less advanced. Well, yes. Sloan is a freak in weird colored outfits, and he tried to trick Illian and Xavier into killing eachother so he could rule the universe. Illian was more evil than him, though, so basically he fled screaming, and we have yet to figure out where he went..."
KitRedgrave: "Mark my words, if he does ANYTHING I will personally make his life a living hell. And I'm usually a fox that's TOO NICE."
Valron: "I... also accidentally gave him double superpowers, but. That's a different story... Let's just say I wasn't expecting the test to go weird like that when I decided to just flagrantly ignore him. ...Mind you, I also partially blame that on the fact that he popped up just after I had to deal with Autumnus. So I wasn't exactly in the mood for having to deal with even more ridiculousness."
Nonna: "What was it that that person said earlier; you can't predict the unpredictable?"
Gelato: X3 *He's got the burrito floating around in his tail, digesting it.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "They said it a lot when I was in this realm last..."
Gelato: "..." *URRRRP. Out comes a cloud of Gobbu-blue smoke, after using that magic.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I warped around all over the place and did weird things. Many of them would say that when they saw me fly by them. The Time Cops are all about predictability, which means unusual stuff throws them off."
Valron: "Yeah, they're hilariously inflexible. Ael is probably the worst in that regard."
KitRedgrave: "You'd think they'd prepare better for a world of huge possibility..."
Valron: "...Which probably explains why he exploded twice."
Commander Borne: *Idly waves away the smoke as it gets near him.*
KitRedgrave: "In fact, that makes me think maybe somebody sabotaged things at some point. I sure wouldn't expect things to be the same in every single world."
Gelato: :I *And back to his burrito.*
Valron: *Has just been eating his in-between sentences. Though not while talking. That's just rude.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There is definitely something off about them, if only because there's no real follow up response. It seems a lot emptier than I expected. We'll have to ask the locals about the Time Cops... ...without drawing too much attention, obviously."
KitRedgrave: "Speaking of which, how long until we arrive? I'm kinda excited to see our first destination outside of the known universe."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Probably a few hours."
KitRedgrave: "Ah, okay. What to do in the meantime..." *She just ponders.*
Metal Man (GM): With this, we'll pause for now, I think. (Just continued since people had a lot of input and questions) Gonna work on EXP and the next session shall be the first 'normal' one, given that it takes place on a planet's surface.

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