REVELATION - Story - Chapter 16: Idiots and Robots with Really Fancy Guns

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Date: 5:11:45 PM, April 12th; 6:00:58 PM, April 19th, 2015.
Metal Man (GM): Recap: The Questers went to the center of the planet. There, they encountered SINOVA: The device used by Illian to control the planet. It was thought to be some sort of demonic entity, but came out more like a cross between Rick Moranis and old RadioShack parts. It was still demonically annoying, though. Without the Book, it could have taken quite a while to kill or defeat. With some judicious application of sudo, er I mean The Book, Kit reprogrammed Alsa to start repairing itself and to lock out any further massive destruction or interdimensional fiends. The group has now reached the base with all their ships. The skies look noticeably bluer, and a lot less ambient negativity seems to be going on. It's not a magical fix--stuff like Capital City is still force fielded off and such, but the continual negative destruction aspect seems to be less. At least, there's a lot less dead plants around. It seems like the climate is becoming less hellish in this area. Continuation. It also helps that Ivan's soldiers have been repairing this base.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "At least I don't feel like the planet itself is trying to destroy all my energy and kill me anymore..."
Valron: "Now this is a step in the right direction if I've ever seen one."
Nonna: "Now all that's left is the city... is it possible to disarm them and have them turned over to the locals for justice? Or would they just deliver victor's justice instead?"
Ederick?: *Walks over, contemplating* "What we really need... is to summon my people to deal with them. Then they can be put in jail and tried and they can deal with the messy process of dismantling the 'survivors' and educating them that when basic services fail, it doesn't mean to revert to barbarism."
Valron: "...So, how do we go about summoning them?"
Ederick?: "That's the issue. I'm not 100% certain where they went..."
Xavier Ridgecrest takes out his smash dex and scrolls through it. "Hm. That's odd. I coulda sworn you renounced your place on this planet and left everybody inside this city in the perfectly decent position. How did it fall apart between then and now?"
Ederick?: "That's the question I've been asking the whole time, to be honest."
Valron: "Contrived bullshit is probably how, considering how this place... used to operate, anyways."
Nonna: "Because as bad as they are, condemning them to starvation isn't something I would feel right allowing to happen. Plus there's the ones who aren't evil in there with them."
Ederick?: "All I keep hearing are that there were these 'Cool Guys' and a collection of less than sane people among the remnants... most likely empowered by this 'Sinova' you told me about... It may be that the people who are not crazy will not be found until we defeat the insane people who caused them to leave in the first place. The 'Cool Guys' seem to have been related to Angel Island, so they can safely be saved for later. What we want are the people we bottled up into the city. I believe they are at the center of what happened."
Nonna: "Joe told me about how Sloan may have been involved for a short time in the past. Could that have had anything to do with it?"
Ederick?: "No. Sloan was already removed from here. How could he be involved now? Granted, none of us paid any attention to the planet after I left..."
KitRedgrave: "It's the fate we just smashed to pieces."
Metal Man (GM): Someone else walks up to the group. It's one of Ivan's Toad Soldiers.
Valron: "Ah, hello there. What news have you got for us?"
Toad Soldier: "Uh, I heard you speaking of what was going on here, did I not? I didn't want to interrupt, but the soldiers found something strange just outside the airport... we had to leave before it got too dark out, but it suggested something... something weird!"
Ederick?: "Hm?"
Toad Soldier: "Well... you mentioned Sloan and... Illian and all those people... the thing we saw... it looked like something they might've left behind... and one soldier touched it and it did weird things to his mind... we couldn't cure it until we took him all the way back to Nintendus!"
Gelato: *He looks up at everyone else.*
Valron: "Oh boy, horribly mind-altering rubbish! That's... that's gonna have to be dealt with now, rather than later, yeah."
Ederick?: "I have to agree... whatever this is may tie into what happened."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, no reason to stand around while some weird piece of rubbish is just threatening us all." *Takes out his equipment* "Time to go then..." *He would go to walk on foot down the path, led by some Toad Soldiers.*
Gelato: *He scuttles in front of Xavier, running at top speed!*
Nonna: "Do we... have some form of protection if this is a corrupting artifact?"
Ederick?: "I must see this as well. What I said... I should have remembered it... ...Everyone stand behind Xavier."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What? Why?"
Ederick?: "Xavier is too insane to be corrupted by anything."
Valron: *Follows Xavier along, keeping up at walking pace.* "Seems like it's only particularly threatening if touched, but. Best be careful, regardless."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's not fai... oh, right... the other nineteen billion times people tried to brainwash me and failed."
Nonna: *Following along, looking a little uneasy.*
Gelato: *He slows down, reluctantly walking behind Xavier.*
Metal Man (GM): The path is short, and contrary to most sessions, I won't really draw it out: There's a meteorite like impact site and a neon technicolor sphere embedded into the ground. It has an obvious energy field around it. Footsteps show where that Toad walked directly into the field. More importantly, all the trees around it look like they've been struck by lightning multiple times.
Ederick?: "I'm cautiously scanning it... this appears to be a class X Time Manipulation object... it didn't arrive until after we all left the first time... and it's been operational for a while now... Time Cop-like technology... I say 'like' because it has no protocol port and refuses to identify itself, unlike 99% of all Time Cop technology."
Nonna: "So then, who or what created it?"
Metal Man (GM): It sends out a strange pulse of energy. It doesn't mess with any of you, either... but it appears to have scanned everyone as well.
Ederick?: "!?"
Metal Man (GM): It morphs, glowing, getting larger, taller.
Valron: "...What."
Metal Man (GM): It takes a humanoid form, like an MTA... all of it made out of the violent technicolor neon energy.
???: "Interferers detected. Interferers detected. Alert: INTERRUPTORS DISCOVERED."
Nonna: "Settle down. Identify yourself."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well that obviously isn't 'I come in peace take me to your leader.'"
Metal Man (GM): It turns to Nonna and scans again.
Valron: "...I'm going to assume this is Sloan's fault until proven otherwise, judging by the criminally garish amounts of color involved."
???: "Ally soldier detected."
Nonna: "...Pardon?"
???: "Assist in destroying the Questers. Cmdr Sloan of Allied Alsan Alliance demand Destruction of Questers. Enemy aided in ascention of the Illian Alliance and destruction of forces. Project Eternal Avenging Avatar of Avarice has successfully Destroyed Peace created by infinite enemy Borne. Detected deletion of Potential Ally SINOVA. LAST MAN STANDING PROTOCOL HAS BEEN ENGAGED."
Metal Man (GM): It holds out its hands, which turn into laser turrets, as it scans everyone again.
Valron: "...If it's not one thing it's another, huh."
Nonna: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to say 'No.' I ain't your ally."
???: "ALLIED FORCES, PLEASE RETREAT IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE ACCIDENTALLY KILLED. IF YOU ARE DAMAGED, SLOAN WILL COMPENSATE IT BUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."
AE-70S: "I AM UNIT AE-70S. ADAPTIVE ENERGIZED Model70 STEALTH."
Valron: *He glances between the technicolor abomination and the way back, pondering how feasible it'd be to run back to his ship.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"
Nonna: "What say we wreck this thing?"
Valron: "...really. And let me guess, you're also a scientist."
Metal Man (GM): It would take two rounds to reach the ship.
AE-70S: "Science diagnostic model is installed."
Metal Man (GM): (((((( BATTLE (Roll Inits) ))))))
Ederick?: "So... AE-70S... what do you think of me?"
AE-70S: "Scanning... ...MAD MAN ARCHITECTURE DETECTED. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!"
Ederick?: "Can you guess what I do to broken machines like you?"
AE-70S: "ENEMY OF SLOAN. MUST BE DESTROYED."
Metal Man (GM): Borne will stay on the sidelines for this fight. He appears to be... doing something intensive.
Ederick?: "I have detected that the robot wishes to do the mind thing against all of you. I am currently flooding all its scanners with nonsense."
AE-70S: "ERROR - ENEMY JAMMING RADAR EVERYWHERE."
Metal Man (GM): Order: Xavier, Nonna, AE-70S, Valron, Gelato
Valron: "Alright, well. I have something else in mind."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's some sort of evil thing that can mess with minds... the only thing it should be mixed with is destruction to every inch of it."
Valron: "Just... hold out for a bit alright, guys?"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out his Freaky Gun and DVD Launcher.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): It gets hit with Battlefield Earth and Atlas Shrugged DVDs. Which are apparently extremely damaging to robots. 124 damage. Stun. The robot shoots sparks from the hit.
AE-70S: "ERROR: WHO IS JOHN GALT? WHY IS HIS DVD IN MY LEG JOINT MOTOR?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You should have thought of that before messing up what we did several months ago!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier then holds up his left arm and generates a shield around himself.
Nonna: "It can inflict madness, eh..." *She uses a Teiwaz rune on herself to block any one debuff that will target her, as well as restore 10 HP per hit to an enemy.*
Metal Man (GM): Also that theme Deloth linked was also the theme Xavier originally had, trivia fact-wise. XP
Nonna: *Then she uses an Inguz rune to instantly charge up her Hr├Žsvelgr move.*
AE-70S: "Discerning nature of enemies... enemies detected covert mission due to earlier encounter with midget troops. Saving data."
Nonna: *She sends a blinding beam of death at the robot.*
Metal Man (GM): The robot holds its eyes, the chunks of DVD shrapnel that previously got stuck in them not helping matters.
Valron: "...Hm."
AE-70S: "OLFACTORY VISION OVERLOAD. PLEASE REBOOT."
Violet: *230 damage, Status Effect: Confusion, Splash Damage, Environmental hazard. Nonna now has the Powerful buff. End Turn.*
AE-70S: "SERIOUS DAMAGE DONE TO HEAD UNIT. WHERE AM I. WHERE AM I. WHERE IS EVERYTHING."
Metal Man (GM): It powers up its turrets.
Valron: "Sideways. Sideways is the answer you're looking for."
AE-70S: "MUST DESTROY ANTHON TARK. MUST DESTROY EMPEROR CYLUS. MUST DESTROY THE MOON. MUST... MUST DESTROY."
Metal Man (GM): It avoids hitting an incorrect target... for now... it very slowly aims its arm cannons. One at Xavier...
AE-70S: "BACKUP MAGNETIC DETECTION SUCCESS."
Metal Man (GM): It fires high accuracy blasto-lasers. Xavier holds up his block to try to avoid getting blasto'd too much. He takes 55 damage. It doesn't look very fun to be hit by.
Nonna: "Anthon Tark isn't here."
AE-70S: "BACKUP SOUND IDENTIFICATION SUCCESS."
Metal Man (GM): It then opens fire on Nonna with the cannon-fire... which is much easier to see coming, but also looks more destructive... like a battleship cannon. Nonna leaps away as the ground next to where she was standing takes 200 damage. It makes a giant crater.
Valron: "...Well, then. I was wondering if it wouldn't be necessary, but..."
Metal Man (GM): The cannon arm must reload. Meanwhile, the laser cannon is ready for more mayhem. It switches mode, making it fan out like a fan. A fan with laser tips. It avoids accidentally hitting itself, then... Threatens all: 25 damage if hit by the lasers. Xavier holds up his block again, reducing it down to 11 damage for himself.
Gelato: *He just holds up his block instead.*
Gelato: *He's mildly scorched for 12 damage. Ouch.*
Metal Man (GM): AE-70S does one final action.
Nonna: *She gets hit for 25 damage* "Ow..."
AE-70S: "SCANNING... HEURISTIC REPORT: ENEMIES USE A LOT OF STATUS EFFECTS. PREPARE THE SELF HEALING ENGINE."
Nonna: "...We'll cover you. You get back to the ship."
Valron first off, he pulls out his spellbook, before casting Agility on himself. And then... "...A moment, please." *And off he runs, [s]into wild blue yonder[/s] back towards his ship.*
Metal Man (GM): First round of running is done by that, ending your turn. After the second round of it, you'll then reach it by the third round.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I hope he gets there quick enough... ...then again, I think we can take 'em." *66 damage out of 140 total HP.*
AE-70S: "PLEASE CONTINUE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wonder if we can shoot that thing's voice and ear modules off its head."
Nonna: "Your master is standing behind you."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Or... wait a minute... maybe I should sing for it."
AE-70S: "SLOAN: PLEASE CONFIRM THIS STATEMENT."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I would like to call this machine 'Stupid-Smart.'"
Nonna: *Horrible Sloan impression* "Uh, confirmed."
AE-70S: "WALUIGI DETECTED."
Gelato: *Holy crap, he's actually going to use Baton Toss for its intended use--swapping AE-70S with him in the turn order.*
Metal Man (GM): *SWAP* You may finish out this turn as you wish, but as of next round, AE-70S will go last. And you will get to go third.
Gelato: *He looks worried, trying to think... no ranged attacks to keep him safely out of that field, and the person he wanted to heal is out of range.*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier and Nonna have taken some damage, but if you need something else to use against him... hmmm... good question...
Gelato: *He tries Altering the robot's visual sensors to be opaque, to disable them! Hey, it only takes 2 TP, so it's worth a try.*
Metal Man (GM): Hm, roll a SKI check to see if you can get around its defenses. It barely fails to stop you, so you end up making its eye sensors malfunction even more, causing permanent confusion instead of just the temporary one.
AE-70S: "MALFUNCTION EQUIPMENT ERROR."
Nonna: "...Xavier, I got an idea that will stop it in its tracks. Let's team up?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sure, what do you have in mind?"
Metal Man (GM): Anything else, Gelato?
Nonna writes the plan down on a notepad and passes it to Xavier so the robot won't listen in.
Gelato: *He hops onto Xavier, armoring him up for that teamup attack to come! Tough, Determined, and 7 HP of healing for that, on the end of his turn.*
Violet: *It's a plan for him to further slow it down with CDs and DVDs, then she will use a charged version of her freezing attack to encase it in ice.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right, I can do that."
AE-70S: "DO WHAT? ERROR."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right... gotta do the right thing for this... thing stuff... stuff thing... that I won't say!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier flips through his pack... He takes out his Bullhorn. He would type something on his dex and show it to Nonna. Xavier then clicks the megaphone to his left shoulder and plugs it into a port on his suit, while flipping around the huge silver pistol that is the 'freaky gun' and aiming it at the thing's head.
Nonna: *Nods.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right, on my mark..." Gets into combat formation and gestures to Nonna as he points his gun at the robot* "And as I was saying, stupid monster robot... ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTERIANISM ANDROID ATTACK ALBATROSS AARDVAAARKS!!!" *Fires a combined ion blast/soundwave blast at the robot.*
Metal Man (GM): I'll wait for Nonna's attack, then tally together the damage/effects.
Nonna: *She inscribes the Inguz rune on her weapon, plus she randomly yells out "Algiz" to activate that rune as well, followed by the Kenaz rune. She expends a ton of her smash energy(SE) and TP to pull this off. She uses a ridiculously buffed Frierenfesseln together with Xavier.*
Metal Man (GM): I'd say I'll take the base damages of both and then add the buffs afterwards. And... gotta roll. It can't really hope to dodge either of those. It's a lumbering giant. 62 damage from Xavier, + Stun and Blind, normally. What remains of the thing's ability to move is destroyed as the resonant frequency is obtained, then as it falls apart it's frozen into the ground and blasted. Violent sparks fly off of it everywhere as it takes 500 total damage. It still stands, mind you. But it isn't moving anywhere.
AE-70S: "ERROR: ENEMIES DEAL MORE DAMAGE THAN EXPECTED INPUT."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier re-ups his shield... and I believe Nonna will pass her turn, having used most of the TP already?
Violet: *Calculating... She can dodge once or twice, and that's it.*
Metal Man (GM): Ok... so definitely moving on to...
Gelato: :I *He hops off of Xavier, with that Solarian wand in his mouth. With it, he's firing a ray of his own SE to Nonna, giving her a quick recharge of 3 SE from him to her!*
Metal Man (GM): You succeed in doing so. Anything else, or is that all this turn? Yes. The machine is just frozen in place and has basically no functional leg motors. It's still a burly beast of a mech. Just that it's been status effected... a lot. Upper half (sans the head) seems to still be in decent condition.
AE-70S: "Threat level is higher than expected. Suggestion to Sloan: Send more units next time."
Nonna: "Ah, thank you Gelato..." *Panting.* "Hm... I may have a plan."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "At this point, I find myself wishing I could just scream 'WING FORTRESSSSSS.'"
Ederick?: "I'd help more, but I'm spending all my time just preventing it from trying to disable all your tech and cause you to go crazy from the jammers it has. It seems Sloan planted this here to try to undo what we did the moment we left..."
Nonna: *Writes in her dex* "How about we confuse it, flip it over, and before we dispose of it for good, I use my omni-disguise to pretend and be Sloan and get it to turn over all its intel to us?"
Gelato: "..." :D *Nod nod.*
Metal Man (GM): Anything else ?
Gelato: *Cure on Xavier for 24 HP! Because those bullets must smart.*
Gelato: *Now EOT.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Thanks... that feels better."
Metal Man (GM): Valron would reach the ship at this point. He would have heard that insanely loud Xavier screaming all the way from here, too.
Valron: "...Good to see they're still holding up well." *Enter ship, fly back to group.*
Nonna sends the dex writing to Valron as well.
Metal Man (GM): The ship shall arrive next round.
AE-70S: "SEVERE DAMAGE. ENEMY EXTREMENESS EVERYWHERE."
Valron: *His only (dexed) reply is as such* "So, I should presume killing it with lightning is out of the question until the disguise plan either succeeds or falls flat."
Metal Man (GM): It opens fire on the ice around its legs and breaks free, however it still can't seem to move its legs. It opts instead to bang itself in the head for a while.
AE-70S: "CANNOT RESTORE SYSTEMS TO NOMINALITY. BACKUP MODE ENABLED."
Metal Man (GM): A bunch of slots open on it, revealing missiles.
Nonna: *Reply* "I like the sound of lightning insurance."
AE-70S: "MODE: EXPLODE EVERYTHING."
Metal Man (GM): It then opens fire with missiles, the only aiming mechanism being to basically space them out to try and cause maximum coverage of explosions. One of those hits itself. The other two threaten Xavier and Nonna. Xavier holds up his field to block; 75 damage if hit. (Matching rolls = a hit) Xavier: Has taken 68 damage out of 140. It would do more, but it had to waste its entire turn ensuring it could actually aim at anything at all and break out of the ice and... and and.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wish I could use my golf club on it... ...but I don't want to be hit by that field. Time to take it down... the old fashioned way!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out the Zapper and fires bolts of energy at it. You can even see the cubes glowing in the side of it--an ancient Season 2 Original. Given it's stuck in place, the all-damage device is able to actually hit it... Dealing a total of 128 damage. Perfectly digital! Xavier points the gun at the ground and pulls the trigger to reload, then fires it again! It still barely hits the not-moving bot. Only 42 damage this time, though.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I should compare my weapon collection with Valron's, sometime."
Violet: *What is the ground they're all standing on composed of?*
Metal Man (GM): Sandy loam, it's near the ocean so it has some decent sand in it.
Nonna: *She uses the Jera rune to manipulate the ground in order to make it lose its footing.*
Metal Man (GM): Since it's literally a statue, it cannot do much as the ground becomes quicksand. Shades of Season 5 occur as it falls over thrashing about.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hah! Take that, pillar ma--I mean AE-70S!"
Nonna: *She quickly uses the omni-disguise while it cannot see her temporarily, to turn into Sloan.*
Metal Man (GM): It's too busy trying to get the sand out of its eyes, indeed. Not to mention it was half blind already from the concentrated violence done to its ocular sensors.
Sloan?: "There, there. You're safe now. I've ensured those people surrendered. They will meet their end soon."
AE-70S: "SCANNING... SCANNING... UNKNOWN. CANNOT VERIFY." *Looks up* "PROBATIONARY MATCH DETECT. USER AGENT SLOAN, WAITING FOR ORDERS."
Sloan?: "You've performed your duty admirably. Before I send you off to rest, your final duty is to send a copy of your memories to this device so that you may be reborn again anew in a new body." *She'd take out her dex.*
AE-70S: "PROCESSING..."
Metal Man (GM): It pauses.
AE-70S: "CONTRADICTION, ORDER PROTOCOL: CONTINUE TO DESTROY UNTIL ALL PEACE IS ANNIHILATED. AGENT SLOAN RETURN TO MAINTAIN UNIT AND TAKE OVER WORK. OBJECT DETECTED: TOO SMALL A DATA DEVICE TO UPLOAD TO."
Sloan?: "Do you detect any compatible device in the vicinity?"
AE-70S: "Unknown Mad Man Era device found. Potential match."
Sloan?: "Coordinates?"
Metal Man (GM): The coordinates appear on your screen, indicating the location... off in a clearing somewhere where it looks like an even larger mech of some kind had crashed.
Violet: *She'd send them to the others to quietly pick up.*
AE-70S: "TIMEOUT... TIMEOUT... TIMEOUT..." *It sits there, blinking.*
Gelato: '-' *He looks up at Nonna.*
Sloan?: *Dex* 'What do you guys think?' *Spoken out loud to AE-70S* "Please tell me what you found out about where the forces and allies of infinite enemy Borne escaped to."
AE-70S: "They were in the city. I used the trans-harmonic generator to banish them from this realm into a hole in reality until you could come and dispose of them properly. Containment is holding but damage is risking containment breach. I was to destroy the rest, but they continued to attack and sacrificed weaker members of their people to me to prevent me from capturing them."
Sloan?: "Very good. Upload only the data you have about these events, as well as the technical specs and location of everything involved."
Metal Man (GM): It uploads the data, then starts to malfunction.
AE-70S: "Energy levels low. Containment field will fail soon."
Sloan?: "I will take care of the rest." *She'd then back away to give Valron the space he needs, and gestures.*
Gelato: *He backs up as well.*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier steps away, having heard plenty of the imminent destruction.
Xavier Ridgecrest turns his back to the machine.
Valron: "Hello, goodbye, and..." *Fwoom. Let there be lightning!* "Good riddance!."
Metal Man (GM): A giant explosion occurs. Xavier dramatically leaps into the air so he can take a selfie of himself in front of the explosion action-leaping away from it.
Nonna shields herself from shrapnel as the disguise is removed.
Metal Man (GM): ...Then you see some weird energy reaction in the distance, and a bunch of people seem to phase in. The shield goes down on the city and you hear a lot of noises in there.
Valron: "Mission complete? Because that sure sounds like a 'mission complete' to me."
Nonna: *Turns away from what are presumably Borne's elites and looks to Valron's ship* "...Yeah."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Mission complete, yes."
Valron: "Also, note to self: Just bring in the ship first thing when something like that is announced."
Metal Man (GM): You get a radio call.
David Hale: *R* "Hello there. It appears you... resolved the issue. Good... I couldn't go outside and check..."
Valron: *R* "Apologies for taking too long, but I was stupid and forgot to bring my ship to more... immediately deal with the problem."
David Hale: *R* "This is David Hale... the person left in charge by Borne when he left... ...Sloan captured everyone into some sort of stasis field with a robot he left behind... and you... just blew it up, so... now they're back... hmmmm. Some strange people are currently being arrested, they appear to be screaming about 'IT'S a TRAP' when they're encountering people who, last time we checked, they knew about... Do you happen to know anything about these strange people? They seem to be disregarding... all forms of logic... some of them were seen fleeing into the wilderness when they began to see elements of society return to Capital City."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "We'll... debrief you later... we have one of their former people around who knows all about them."
Ederick?: *Also goes and walks back towards the camp, not wanting to be recognized by any of the Borne soldiers.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "In the meantime, there's no real reason to stand out here for no reason. So time to go back to the base... for a reason."
David Hale: *R* "...I see, you brought soldiers to help repair the air base. I guess that will repay for when you drove your limo through it, Xavier."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Er... yes! That was exactly why they came here... to repay the damage I did! I am so very thoughtful... in fact, you can enjoy your nice new runways after we finish stuff up here and leave!"
Valron: *And with that, he flies back to base* *R* "We've been busy trying to get Alsa to not hate everyone so much. Seems like it's going well, at least."
David Hale: *R* "While I'm guessing there's more to it than what you said, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth..."
Metal Man (GM): The group returns to base. David Hale is already there, in his fairly boring brown suit, with his gray hair and wrinkled, square face.
David Hale: "I must again thank you for ending that... weirdness Sloan caused. He was... clearly waiting for a chance to ruin things after you left. I only just barely got into a bunker, but I couldn't say anything. I didn't want that robot thing to find me."
Nonna: "...No problem."
David Hale: "Or those people who had taken over, claiming they were 'survivors.'"
Valron: "He does that. A lot. I'm getting really tired of it. ...Well, that's a lie. I've been tired of it for a while now."
David Hale: "If it helps, we deduced where Sloan went based on the signals it was sending out there."
Metal Man (GM): He would hand Valron a disc.
David Hale: "We literally had nothing else to do while we waited for help. It was... very boring... even for me."
Valron: "Ah! Convenient. Thank you very much." *He nods to David as he takes the disc, scanning it with his visor.*
Metal Man (GM): It indicates an area outside this universe, that you could probably fly out to from the planet you're currently on out there.
Valron: "Yeah, there's a kind of boring that people like, and then there's... that."
David Hale: "Thanks to what Borne left behind, the crazy people and the mech couldn't find us. However, he didn't anticipate us being attacked moments after he left..."
Valron: "Huh... interesting. Probably made himself another toy box, I see."
Gelato: :D 'Thank you very much!' *Hugs for David! But not the painful ones.*
David Hale: "Which I can only guess is a sour grapes thing for--" *Is hugged. Gives a hug back, though the sort an old man politician would give.* "--how Sloan wanted so badly to rule this place. If he couldn't rule it, I guess, he wanted it to be a desolate wasteland instead."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, we closed off the spigot he used to get in here."
David Hale: "Yes, there used to be more of them. Most of them mysteriously warped away moments after you caused a slight earthquake... That last one was damaged after it attacked your soldiers. Whatever strange weapons your soldiers have... ...I heard something about a Blue Shell."
Valron: "Guessing he sent the rest away to fortify his position."
David Hale: "It made this high pitched noise and... ...you arrived shortly after it'd been temporarily disabled."
Nonna: "The important thing is that things are getting better."
Valron: "Indeed."
David Hale: "In any case, I'll help coordinate the changeover of this airport once your forces leave. You fixed up a lot of damage that, honestly, we didn't even have the funds to fix."
Valron: "At least there's that. Seems like it'll be a while before things get back up and running all proper-like, but... It's a definite start."
Nonna seems to be shying away from David.
Metal Man (GM): Xavier awkwardly stands in front of a limo-shaped hole in one of the walls of the airport.
David Hale: "Don't worry, we won't charge you for diving through there. You ended up fixing the rest of it, anyway. ...Now I must go, there's a lot of confused people I have to get up to speed."
Valron: "Ah, yes. I'd imagine there'd be quite a few of those, yes."
Metal Man (GM): He'd wave, then walk out, getting into an official limo of his own and driving off. It's almost kind of strange to see someone ELSE who uses a limo... and unlike Xavier, actually has a use for it. Xavier would watch it drive away, then put a hand to his chin.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I should put nice little flags on my limo too. But what would the flag even be..."
Nonna: "Whew..."
Valron: "Today's certainly been a productive day."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sounds good to me."
Nonna: "Sounds good to me. I could use something big."
Valron: "Agreed."
Metal Man (GM): On that note, I think we'll pause. Downtime can be done though, if you wish. PAUSE
Metal Man (GM): Recap The Questers had been wondering why things were such a mess, especially after Xavier revealed the mysteriousness of how the planet had been properly partially set in order... It had been revealed quite quickly that a strange robot had been at fault. Sloan couldn't just lose quietly. He'd sent a strange machine to warp everyone who was sane to a null zone and help reinforce the chaos on Alsa.
Metal Man (GM): But the machine had never been set up to defend against a Quester attack, especially the modern Questers. After a lot of giant explosions, the machine's data was obtained and then it was rendered a pile of rubble. David Hale returned from his self imposed exile once the people who had helped make the city not suck came back and things returned to normal in the now no-longer-cursed Alsa. The group would be in the airport, as the Ivan fleet is preparing to escort the Quester ships when they do leave.
Metal Man (GM): Currently everyone's sitting at a large table, if only for convenience. Xavier is casually leaning at the side of the table, drinking some strange soda from a cracked mug that suggests it belonged to Eggman. The sky is blue and the atmosphere seems pretty safe now, with most of the various evil things having been exploded. Continuation
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well... it's good to see that it was just a single hitch that messed up things here... and that we only had to dismantle it with one big boot to the head."
Nonna: *Has been strangely quiet since the battle.*
Gelato: :D *He's stomping his feet on the table in excitement!*
Valron: *Hasn't really said much of anything, himself. He is idly sipping away at his soda* "Convenient enough, I guess..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Of course this does bring up some new questions. Should we focus on the Time Cops first... or Sloan? Since Sloan seems to have done 'shots fired' at us first, so to speak. My radio contact back with our headquarters on that Solarian planet... suggests the Time Cops have left us alone for now. But then again, that may mean it's all the better to attack the Time Cops. I dunno."
Metal Man (GM): Borne, still in Erderick disguise, glances about.
Ederick?: "Sloan was always a worthless monster. If we could just... kill him... maybe we could end a threat to more than just us without much effort."
Nonna: "Isn't Sloan someone who specifically lies in wait for two sides to start brawling so he can leap in and finish off the weakened victor?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wish it was that easy. The problem is finding him. Yes, Sloan also likes to create wars where none exists. That way he can destroy the two sides after they're wrecked from war."
Ederick?: "My data... suggests he had ties to Time Cops as well. Nobody does what he does without either stealing from Time Cops or bribing them."
Valron: "Can't say I'm entirely surprised there..."
Nonna: "Then our course of action depends on whether or not we can be reasonably certain that he is aware of us, our goals, and our current situation."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The robot had no clue what we were doing and appeared to be rather poorly optimized for us."
Ederick?: "The robot was a trap for me... ...er Borne. I detected it had plenty of mechanisms meant to harm me and hijack my soldiers... I mean Borne's. ...I'm glad Joe decided to walk over to talk with the non-insane comrades of his."
Nonna shoots "Ederick" a look that doesn't even need to be described.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That would make sense, as it didn't seem to know what to do with us."
Valron: "I'd think he'd already be preparing for us attempting to break in first thing after dealing with that, to be honest, but... Hm"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It could be something interesting, actually, now that I think about it. If we all just flew for Sloan with the intent to destroy him and everything he had. For once instead of fighting some sort of desperate self defense struggle, we could just concentrate on vengeance. And if we could steal his equipment... Then we'd probably be able to do some of the things he did. Why else would the Time Cops refuse to destroy him? He must have something..."
Nonna: "If someone like Sloan could just be found because we wanted to find him, he wouldn't have earned his reputation."
Valron: "I'm just not entirely sure how well that would actually go, to be honest."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes, that's the problem, we'd need to find him..."
Ederick?: "If he could have been found, I don't think he would have survived very long on Alsa. Many people wanted him dead here... Marley, Borne, Jack..."
Valron: "We just only know the general area he's in, right?"
Nonna: "The only option that remains then is to draw him to us instead."
Ederick?: "More or less."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "How would we draw him out though? We sealed off his access to Alsa and trashed his robot. And he probably knows already that we have the Book, so if he came here he'd be facing Illian V2 except we're not insane so he'd lose ten times faster..."
Nonna: "What did we just talk about? He likes starting wars. So we give him a war."
Gelato: *But war is bad.* :<
Commander Borne: "I could see that, but we'd need a war where we have the upper hand, so we could play the role Illian had in the past war... That was how Illian outflanked him. He figured Illian was weak. Illian used his cheating device and suddenly things didn't go Sloan's way anymore. Of course Illian had lost his sanity in the process, so it was a fustian bargain on Illian's part."
Ederick? this belongs there. "Find anything in the data you got, Nonna?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "David Hale gave us a vague idea of where he was."
Nonna: "It was only a partial amount, but I've been taking a look at it..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's Somewhere we could fly to from our current base. But that's about it. It's an entire solar system or two, based on David Hale's reckoning. Signals blanket the area. Hmmmm... We're forgetting something. There was somebody else..."
Nonna: "If what was used to trap them was any indication, the reason we've been unable to find Sloan may be not due to the vagueness of his whereabouts, but rather that he's been hiding out in his own little special dimension. And we don't have the key to get in."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Red Text had an intercept system. He was Illian's super-hacker proxy... ...And as long as he was active, Sloan seemed to be really unable to interfere in Illian. Indeed. Sloan never saw Illian's sudden pivot coming. That is insane given that Sloan was known for knowing everyone's plans."
Valron: "Any idea where the intercept is, then? If it's still in one piece or so, anyways"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier blanks a bit for a moment, taking out his dex and flipping through it.
Nonna: "The data suggests that he uses various relay stations with multiple randomized signal locations. This is just a theory, but his personal dimension may not be static. It may be something he uses to travel our dimension in, while invisible. He can get away so seemingly easy because of his fancy cloak."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out his dex, staring at it. Intense light comes off of it, then he flips the log away from that.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Red Text was so powerful he was one of the few still standing at the end, he attacked us with his satellite while we fought Psycho Illian. The only concern is that Red Text suggested he could give us something before we killed him. It was probably a trap, but I can only speculate what."
Nonna: "If we're to defeat him, he must be drawn out of his shell and defeated before he can be allowed to escape back into it. We have one shot before he wises up to us."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Based on the data I have, Red Text's satellite was probably blown up in the final battle on Angel Island... and probably crashed somewhere on the planet. I cannot say where it is, for certain, unfortunately. We'd have to ask Merlon. Even then, though. Red Text's power may have been derived from Sinova."
Valron: "And I don't think any of us have any money on hand, either..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "They seemed like two halves of a set."
Gelato: 'We could get a job!' :D
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Red Text's power was, most likely, like having that Book Kit had."
Valron: "Think if we can find anything left over from Red Text we could make something less... stupid and malicious?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The difficulty is that Red Text's power was, when I think of it, limited to this realm... and Sloan would be outside this realm. So even if we reprogrammed the entire Sinova relay and Kit made a special loophole... ...We'd just figure out everything about what he did in the past in this realm. The realm Nonna noted is probably where Sloan actually is, and that's outside anything Red Text could have found. Since Red Text stopped him in Alsa, but nobody ever stopped him from just... running away. We'd have to ask Illian, truthfully. Illian was the reason Red Text existed. We'd need a new device. But... that's true. We'll need coins for whatever we build, in that case."
Valron: "Sure sounds like it, yeah."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Magitek or Merlon, or whatever else. Or we need to steal something valuable."
Valron: "That just loops back to the main problem then. Egh. Could always check and see if Jack's old castle still has anything of value in it that isn't... y'know. Awful and cursed. I doubt Illian's men were completely thorough."
KitRedgrave pops up. "Coins... from where? We could also totally break all of the challenges on Nintendus and rob them blind."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The challenges... remind me, which challenges again? It's been a while. We could steal Jack's ruins, yeah. It wouldn't even be stealing. The Questers paid for those ruins. They didn't know what they were doing, giving money to a maniac."
KitRedgrave: "All of them. Or some of them, I dunno. But it seems like that place is operating by a very special kind of rules we've shown we can already break. I don't mean universe-bending, I mean thinking to WALK OVER THE TOP OF A MAZE."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well... we could go to Nintendus and earn a bunch of coins. It wouldn't break so easily, but I bet it'd appreciate us coming over enough to give us a couple things... ...oh... right."
Nonna: "I'm more partial to... archaeology, myself."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Snorts* "I forget, see, the last thing I recall was everybody being stupid and freaking out over doors and stuff. I was the only one who could see the door was unlocked. Dragoshi... er, Valron wasn't even there, so he didn't get to correct them. So yeah. Coins from Nintendus, or coins from Jack. What shall we do? Either case, it seems fairly cut and dried. We shoot up some ruins and take some old coins out. Or we go do some challenges on Nintendus."
Nonna: "So, um. We do these 'challenges' and get awarded money?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well... they were done by E Li Three, who died... and then there was the ones by Klumsy... who died... I would have to see who or what took over for 'em. Passage of time and all. It's Nintendus so SOMEBODY probably does it now..."
KitRedgrave: "We could even be unlucky and have someone smart running them now. Then it'd be *Work*..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Especially if it was Tingle. Tingle is evil. The most money-grubbing being around."
Nonna: "And what can we expect to find in Jack's ruins?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "A destroyed castle made out of diamond, with walls made out of coins he earned from the Questers."
KitRedgrave: "We could probably just rob him then. I mean, we've fought far worse in all probability. ...Really. A castle of gold and there's any left?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "A giant diamond paved racetrack... and a sign that says 'QUESTERS SUCK' made out of gigantic letters. Illian went in there and went Vietnam on it."
Valron: "Mind you, Illian and I did ransack it way back then, but..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I heard stories of his soldiers landing there and psychotically shooting everything. Even the gold."
Nonna: "The place hasn't been strip mined already? Wow."
Valron: "Like I said before, I doubt he was entirely thorough."
KitRedgrave: "So no guarantee there's anything left."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "They were all madly enraged. And then Illian, being a Magitek user, probably stole most of the gold."
KitRedgrave: "And maybe deathtraps."
Valron: "Oh, no, there was probably so much that there's guaranteed to be some things of value left."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He might have even made that THING we blew up on Angel Island out of the coins he stole... I swear there was a GDP of Brazil worth of coins in there or something..."
Valron: "Yeah... That would be about the right amount."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So yes. We could probably pick up the coins that slipped through their magitek talons."
Valron: "And I saw Illian fight Jack, too. Fought beside Illian, even. It was... pretty brutal."
Ederick?: "Good riddance to Jack. He deserved whatever Illian did to him."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm, I guess if there's any hauntings, it'd be due to Jack's negative spiritual energy then. And if those stupid statues were there... oh right, the center of the planet talked about how it controlled those and we turned them off. ...That's right... it may have been dangerous to go there up until now. So technically we may have turned off the planetary defenses of what was left."
Valron: "So there's less of a chance of everything being stupid and cursed?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You know Illian wouldn't have left it unguarded. But we broke into his last safe house and turned out the lights... The only thing that could remain would be, like, lost Solarians. I doubt they'd pose much of a fight for us with all their magic turned off though."
KitRedgrave: "The question staring us in the face is: was he properly paranoid?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well..." *Chuckles nervously* "Even Sloan couldn't take him by surprise. In fact the recordings that have surfaced show him laughing at Sloan and asking him if he really thought he was the first person to pull that 'war -> kill people who are weak' gambit... He was Psycho, after all. Not a normal person. Not even the Illian I really knew. ...But we turned the lights off, so whatever nuclear death he might have had is a giant pile of metal now. Hopefully."
KitRedgrave: "Right. I'm suspicious that he might've thought of that too."
Valron: "At the very least, heavily reduced in effectiveness."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Me too... but I guess, we can't get coins for nothin'."
KitRedgrave: "I mean, it's the one obvious way to break everything should he lose."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well. I think we should go visit... just one question. Should that Joe guy come with us or stay here or somewhere safe?"
Nonna: "He hadn't made his mind up earlier when I asked him."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Guess you can ask him, I think he's over there..." *Points over to a group of GUN people by the edge of the base, a short walk away.*
KitRedgrave: "We probably want as few people to know about this as possible. Otherwise we might see wars spring up over all this wealth, because we probably can't get all of it."
Nonna: "...Right. I'll do that." *She would head off towards them, looking more than a little uneasy for some reason.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So..." *Taps his fingers* "What should we do with the money, anyway? Merlon, or Magitek? Or both??? I'm not the biggest believer in Magitek, to be honest. It failed Illian pretty amazingly. Nobody can seem to make that sweet tech Gerald made eons ago either. Otherwise I'd say build stuff out of that."
Valron: "Yeah, Gerald's stuff seemed to be on another tier altogether."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Maybe Tails can make things. I wonder if we could figure out something else that's not Magitek... Ivantek, no offense to those soldiers wandering about, isn't all it's cracked up to be. Too generic."
Valron: "Means it's reliable and works well, at least."
KitRedgrave: "I'm still wanting to look into it either way. There's some utility in it even if you can't rely on it for everything like he did."
Valron: "Agreed."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well there is a potential to modify it, I guess... you seemed to be able to make things, Kit. Might work on a multiple person basis and modify some Magitek so it isn't so reliant on... the stuff it tends to rely on."
KitRedgrave: "A little bit, not very much. What I do know I had to work out from first principles just for that one task... I hadn't gotten that far in learning things yet."
Valron: "I see... Certainly something worth testing out, at least."
Gelato: *I wanna see more Magitek, too... maybe I can mix stuff with it!* :D
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Alright, maybe we can do that... I should build things again, myself." *Proudly takes out his golf club, staring at the shoddy, reality defying workmanship.*
Valron: "Doesn't that only really work out for yourself, though?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah... nobody else can hold things that are on fire."
Valron: "Well, I meant your tech in general, but... That too, I guess."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Once Nonna gets back, we should be able to leave, then... for the castle, and loot, hopefully. Yeah... maybe I should study how to make my tech work for people other than me?"
Valron: "Maybe?" *Shrugs.*
Nonna: *Returns* "He will remain with them for the time being."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Very well, time for us to head out, I guess." *He goes to walk into his limo.*
Valron: "Alright, then." *Makes his way over to his ship.*
Nonna: "Did you decide where we're going?"
Valron: "Yeah. We decided to check out the remains of Jack's castle."
Gelato: :D *He leaps onto Valron's shoulder!*
Nonna: "I do like me some archaeology..." *She'd head to her ship, which she's been struggling to rename since she got it.*
Valron pats Gelato on the head once he notices the little guy on his shoulder.
Metal Man (GM): Ederick? Casually walks inside his Borne-specialized Dauntless 2. All the ships are easily turned on, even the ex-Quester Fy'aar ship. Mostly because Ivan violently removed the old system that required multiple skill checks to turn on.
Nonna: *Once again tries to get the ship to accept its new name before getting it started.*
Metal Man (GM): The map indicates you can fly right over there. Nobody seems to be a problem--the only places that even have anything on it that might cause trouble now are just the people from that area where Tails was... The ship seems to suggest your next generation will be the 'test' to enable you to change its name. Whatever that means, Nonna.
Nonna: "...Is the ship giving me a quest?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: *C* "I think it's a Solarian ship thing."
KitRedgrave fumbles around with learning the controls. This is... the first time Kit's even tried to fly one of these things. Maybe it'll help since it was apparently smart enough to make its way here by itself.
Valron: *C* "Iiiit's a Solarian thing. They have ridiculous quests for the strangest things." *C* "And I am perfectly allowed to say that considering I did go through the Path of Daggers or whatever."
Metal Man (GM): Kit would find the controls a bit tricky at first, but the ship Kit had picked was ... highly maneuverable, unlike that more cadillac-esque vehicle that Nonna got.
KitRedgrave accidentally barrel-rolls the ship around a bit. @w@;
Metal Man (GM): It has enough Magitek to prevent any fatal mistakes. And/or, thanks to the changes Kit made to this world, it's much less likely to require nonsensical skill checks for everything.
Nonna: "Okay, I'll do your silly quest. But when I turn you into a space dreadnought, you'll regret delaying me."
Metal Man (GM): Still, certainly requires active concentration to keep it straight and narrow.
KitRedgrave: *C* "...I can definitely tell you there's no quest here! Unless trying not to crash it is a quest."
Metal Man (GM): The shipwreck had been repaired, yes, partially by Illian actually. It's a small flighty ship so there wasn't too much to repair. Flying towards the ruined area, you see something a bit strange. The area's full of mist, and the castle lays in ruins. There's also some of Illian's Solarian ships still landed there. They don't seem to be manned though. They seem heavily damaged, like they were abandoned.
Nonna: "Hm, next generation... hope that doesn't mean I have to wait until I have kids or something. That would just suck."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "When you get my age, Nonna, you can behold the horror of all your favorite media becoming passe`. The monsters, they don't like pogs anymore..."
Valron: "I doubt it means that kind of generation. I'd hope not, at least."
Metal Man (GM): You can land multiple places: The area by the Solarian ships, or the area by the castle... Or by an area with a bunch of destroyed go-karts and grandstands for an abandoned racetrack far away from everything else.
Valron: "So... anyone especially against landing by the ships, or?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I think it's okay to land there. My Smash Dex tells me they're broken wrecks."
Nonna: "We could strip them for parts. That sounds like it's a good idea. But first, the money." *Ahem.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah, possibly."
Valron: "That's exactly what I was thinking... stripping them down for parts, I mean."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier lands his ship right by one of the Solarian ships. Ederick?'s ship follows. He starts by immediately stepping out and spitting at one of the ships.
Ederick?: "Stupid Solarian invaders."
Valron: "They still might have some money in them, too, given how Magitek works. At the very least, something that can be sold off for a decent amount of coin, anyways" *And with that, he goes to land by one of the ships as well.* "Feels a bit odd to be back in a place like this, given I used to... well, be with them, but. Eh."
KitRedgrave lands it in about the least graceful manner possible, and steps out all dizzy.
Nonna: "Looks like they got some hot bullets for their trouble, and died."
Metal Man (GM): Out of the fog, a Solarian man stands up. Fairly unnaturally, at that, as he just hovers to his feet.
Solarian: "The ships took the damage, not us."
Nonna: "...Um."
Solarian: "That's right, human. We're not that easy to kill. And we're not controlled by this planet either."
Nonna: "I actually was talking about the ships."
Valron: "Can't say I'm entirely surprised."
Solarian: "...Sed Eject talked like you too."
KitRedgrave: "...just how long were you lying down there waiting for anyone?"
Solarian: "A couple months."
Nonna: "Wow, you're a pretty lonely guy."
Solarian: "We're not made out of normal flesh."
Nonna: "If you wanted friends, you could have asked."
Valron: "Kinda figured that, yeah."
Solarian: "After I witnessed the destruction of Illian, I wanted to make sure you weren't coming here to kill me too. And some of the others further in the castle aren't going to greet you with any words. There's some desperate sort that believe their messiah will return. I on the other hand know that there's always another day and new people to talk to, eventually."
Rel Tavis: "I am Rel Tavis, administrator of the 5th Illian Solarian fleet. ...And those ships are too cold at night, due to how the metal surfaces freeze over."
Nonna: "We come here in... relative peace. We're low on funds so we're taking things from the castle. Is that going to start anything between us?"
Rel Tavis: "Those lunatics will. Shoot them, I don't care. My only plan is to barter with you for supplies. I have a bunch of destroyed ships. You most likely have directions out of this world."
Valron: "So, it's more the remaining Illian fanatics that'll be a problem. Got it."
Rel Tavis: "We split into two halves, possibly three. The pragmatists like me went on their way after realizing it'd been a goose chase."
Nonna: "We can give you passage out of here if you wish to leave, but um... where do you plan on going?"
Rel Tavis: "Another group fled, deciding they would 'find' Illian out in outer space. The third group decided they would conquer Alsa after rebuilding their faction inside the castle. The third group didn't even have proper engineers in it."
Valron: "So the third group is probably gonna go nowhere fast."
Rel Tavis: "My homeworld was destroyed, but there were some other mixed worlds I preferred to do business in. I'm a mercenary captain."
Nonna: "Have they atrophied enough to be easily disarmed?"
Rel Tavis: "Illian hired me and then failed to pay me because he died. No, they're Solarians. They will shoot and throw fireballs at you. Best you use your fighting technique to rip them to shreds."
Nonna: "Are they tougher than diamond?"
Rel Tavis: "...No. Tougher than normal flesh, weaker than diamond."
Nonna: "Okay, so... the castle is made of diamond, right?"
Rel Tavis: "Yes. It's also a giant pile of diamond debris right now, they are hiding out inside caves they dug into it. Because they're stupid. Illian got three factions, see--mercenaries, religious fanatics... and idiots. I had the bad luck of getting left behind with the idiots."
Nonna: "So if we just carpet bombed the whole area, the diamonds would be safe and they would be dead."
Valron: "And I take it the other mercenaries either had the fortune of getting out while they could."
Rel Tavis: "They had many ships, like me. All three of my ships got shot up by the fanatics when I dared to question their messiah. On the other hand, the Mercenaries didn't question their messiah. So they escaped. It's why I didn't attack you--Valron is with you, and he wouldn't work with idiots."
Gelato: "..." *He hugs Rel. A sign of mutual trust!*
Valron: "Also, if we're going to do the whole 'carpet bomb' method, I'm pretty sure I'm the best-suited for the job. After all, I have enough missiles to end every casino in the galaxy. And probably beyond that."
Rel Tavis: "As much as I've heard rumors about Xavier, I can only guess he became less ignorant through the process of the war. ..." *Hugs Gelato back.*
Nonna: "...But at the same time, we've seen nothing to suggest that these lunatics are actually lunatics. If we went and destroyed them, they could have been decent people and we would never know."
Rel Tavis: "I'm a mercenary. You're free to figure out the disposition of the lunatics."
Valron: "In any case, it's also good to know I can be used as a metric for deciding if a group is filled with idiots or not. Or something along those lines."
Rel Tavis: "I think they're insane. If you can reason with them... ...then maybe you can get them to part with their expensive looking guns."
Valron: "I doubt they'd exactly be all that pleased to see me, but..." *Shrugs.*
Rel Tavis: "They're idiots with really fancy guns. Because they think shiny means powerful. The guns have names, like Mega Eviscerator and Ultimate Death and Final Demise. My simple Bloktek 3000 has killed approximately 3 times the amount of beings their stupid overheating guns have."
Valron: "Amazing."
Nonna: "One less group of violent nutcases, the better. The coins will be our reward."
Rel Tavis: "I think they are attracted to the wealth in the castle. It reminds them of their guns and the wealth Illian promised them."
Valron: "I bet my Brick Blaster could mow down about the same amount, but... I'd rather not test that out."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Heheh... yeah... stupid people!" *Hides his Deathmachine.*
Nonna: "I saw and heard that, Xavier."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, it is hard to hide the Deathmachine."
Rel Tavis: "As I said, Xavier is the closest in your party to the same sort of maniac those people are. If you think that gives you some sort of insight, go ahead and investigate. Just keep in mind that the gold in the ruins might not survive thermal bombardment."
Valron: "That, and we may as well see how many of them are actually, well. Around."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We can always walk close enough to see lasers fly over our heads, then flee when their guns inevitably overheat."
Nonna: "You don't think I'm a maniac? I'm flattered."
Valron: "Better to have concrete numbers and whatnot."
Rel Tavis: "You fly one of the most coveted models of Solarian ships, human."
Valron: "And then I can snipe them from like ten miles away."
Nonna: "Usually just being around Xavier makes me guilty by association."
Rel Tavis: "The maniac among you is the one who flies a poorly converted Earthling car."
Valron: "Or at least far enough so that their guns wouldn't really matter."
Rel Tavis: "I'm a mercenary. I'm used to mixed groups of people. I had to work with those maniacs over there... I would hate for anyone to judge me based on their behavior. Partially why I decided it was better to hibernate in the misty dirt than hear them scream about idiotic things."
Valron: "Can't say I blame you. Especially not after half the idiots I've had to deal with... Egh."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right... shall we just blow it up to get our money faster and in molten coin form, or just take a look for ourselves before explosions or lack thereof? I mean, we could always trick them. I'm one for just robbing them if they're that stupid and evil."
Valron: "I'd say take a look. And like I said I could just pick them off at range with either machinegun fire from my ship or just outright sniping them, but. Yes."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bombs cost money, after all. I dunno how much it even cost for Ivan to power up that thing with missiles. He might be charging us afterwards."
Nonna: "We could just funnel them towards your guns."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah, that would also work."
Rel Tavis: "They are pretty stupid. There's a few others I've seen with them, though, so. Be sure to investigate carefully. I've been asleep a while and don't know what they might have been up to in the time since."
Gelato: 'We could lure them into a big pit and blow that up!' :D
Nonna: "...Now you tell us about the others. Who or what are they?"
Rel Tavis: "I don't know. You woke me up. I started feeling auras that suggested somebody else was there. Last time I was awake they were all just... them. Now I detect unknown other things there. People... monsters... I can't tell at this distance."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Why is it that I never remember to buy binoculars..."
Valron: "Let me see if I can..." *He activates his visor, before going to look in the direction of the castle, checking to see if he can zoom his vision in on it.*
Metal Man (GM): Valron would see a bunch of weird... weird things there. There's the statues from before, long ago, with their emeralds and stuff. Except it looks like they all ran here and then suddenly turned solid again and fell over. Some Solarians seem to be taking a bunch of destroyed pieces of Jack's staff and trying and failing to reattach them.
Valron: "Let's see, there's the statues... except it kinda seems like they just ran over there before falling over. Hm. And there's some Solarians trying to fix Jack's staff... and failing miserably."
Rel Tavis: "See. Idiots!"
Metal Man (GM): One final member among the group seems to stand out a bit though. He seems to cross his arms and seems to be some sort of leader of some sort. He smacks one of them and takes the staff and inspects it.
Valron: "They aren't even really doing anything aside from just trying to smack the pieces together and hoping they'll magically reattach on their... Wait a sec. There's a guy who doesn't look like an idiot. Might be the one leading them."
Metal Man (GM): He then hands it back to them and seems to be saying something at them.
Nonna: "Driven to madness, most likely. Wonder if they're affected by any environmentally unfriendly thing."
Rel Tavis: "Jack was connected to this planet's curse."
Valron: "Looks like he's giving them advice on what to do with it. Can't hear from over here, of course."
Rel Tavis: "Otherwise known as Dyne, it was a curse that continually perpetuated magical based evil and undeath and mayhem. If all those things are there, then it might be trying to restart itself. Except they have a bunch of idiots over there. So they're basically banging the rocks together and hoping it works."
Valron: "Then we should probably destroy them so they can't restart themselves. Unless someone has a sufficiently powerful disenchantment spell lying about somewhere..."
Metal Man (GM): Another Solarian takes out some sort of guitar. The leader-man stares at it.
Valron: "...Where did they get a guitar from?"
Metal Man (GM): He throws away the broken staff pieces and starts placing the guitar on the altar instead.
Rel Tavis: "I have no clue. There were legends of some sort of psychotic guitar player who served the Angel Statues over there."
Nonna: "Do you believe they're mindless?"
KitRedgrave: "A guitar... oh wow. I remember someone with a guitar. This could be interesting."
Valron: "...So they took it from Alex. Somehow. God dammit."
Rel Tavis: "I'm unsure. I'm pretty sure Solarian teachings didn't tell them to place guitars on unholy altars to demonic people."
KitRedgrave: "May just be trying everything they can think of."
Valron: "I swear. I'm tempted to just fly over there and mow them down with gunfire."
Rel Tavis: "Now you know why I decided to sleep over here. All my good guns are broken!"
Valron: "Or maybe just smite their leader with lightning. Actually, I think I'm going to see how they'll like that little chestnut first. That kosher with you guys?"
Nonna: "Uh... sure?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "If all else fails... I never get tired of blowing up Psycho Illian's men."
Nonna: "Let's test their intelligence a bit."
Valron: "I'll be on standby, then." *Back into the ship, and... cue waiting!*
Metal Man (GM): The guitar begins glowing a bit. Some really ominous guitar chords can be heard in the distance.
Rel Tavis: "I see they have also forsaken their military training in the attempt to become musicians. Bad, tasteless musicians."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So, how shall we test their intelligence? A puzzle? An unlocked door thing? A maze? Maybe we throw a rock over their shoulders?"
Nonna: "I was thinking the latter, yes."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let me do this then, I got an arm made out of... ...yeah."
KitRedgrave: "Maybe chuck puzzle cubes at them. The strange kind with multiple colors I can't figure out."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We should stock up on more of those. Those would work well to confuse people."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier picks up a rock and walks to the side and closer to them a bit, so as to get the right aim. The rock aims and lands where it needs to be. The boss-person can be seen vaguely moving, and two of their people start walking towards the rock. Xavier walks back, contemplating as he squints at the ant-like Solarians wandering around.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We need a big screen set of binoculars. Can you do anything with magic to make them more visible, Kit?"
Valron continues to watch the antics of the Solarian boss and his idiot brigade.
Metal Man (GM): Valron would observe them finding the rock, and then staring at it. And casting spells on it, and being confused. Eventually they'd go back to continue messing with the guitar. The guitar zaps one of them when they try to carve something into it.
Valron: "They cast spells on it and seemed... really confused. Also one of them tried to carve somethin' into the guitar and got zapped for their troubles."
Nonna: "So it's safe to assume that they are not... high functioning."
Valron: "They're functioning, but that's about it."
Nonna: "That they cast spells so casually but are confused by a rock means what little brain power they have left is limited to their instincts. And perhaps vague, distant memory. ...Are you sure these aren't like those zombies we ran into before?"
Valron: "They effectively may as well be as such. Anything else you want to check for, or...?"
Rel Tavis: "Those artifacts are cursed. If they are sentient, it's likely the artifacts using them. It's just another reason why I stay over here."
KitRedgrave: "Oh. Sorry, yes. Let me try to come up with something if we still need it."
Nonna: "I'm satisfied. The danger will likely be minimal if we can avoid having them wildly cast their magic everywhere."
Valron: "Yeah, probably better than me trying to blast the statues to bits, I'm sure."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I could always use a better view of what's going on... Valron can concentrate more without having to describe everything to us."
KitRedgrave would... hm. Flips through the Book. None of these spells seem to have anything for it.
Metal Man (GM): The Book suggests you can use 2 SE if you want to make a giant lens illusion to help you see things.
KitRedgrave would do that, because there really isn't much more options. Good to know the Book can find things outside of the standard list even when depowered.
Metal Man (GM): I think I will in time give a mention in the quirks that you get to improvise if the new spell is merely just for some usefulness rather than something broken. The lens makes everyone able to see the Solarians. The leader points to them and they continue to fight with the guitar. What do you do? Shoot them or something else? Behind them, the lens lets you see lots of gold behind them. They've clearly painstakingly piled the gold behind them.
Nonna looks at them closely. Any physical damage, zombie-like features, are they glowing, etc?
Valron: "...Mmh. What's the chances of them using up the gold if I try to destroy the statues?" *While he's at it, he also tries to see if he can get a good angle on the statues and idiot Solarians from his current vantage point to see if he could missile them without touching the gold.*
Metal Man (GM): They actually seem fairly normal looking. What's abnormal is that one guy leading them. He looks very much zombie like. In fact it looks like somebody sewed him back together.
Rel Tavis: "They can obviously use up the gold to try to repair the statue or something else, so you'd probably want stealth if you don't want them to waste the gold."
Valron: "Then clearly, there's only one real good option I've got here..." *He goes to step out of the ship again, before pulling out the Repliforce Rifle, getting himself nice and situated as he aims down the scope, trying to get a good look at the leader.*
Nonna: "Okay, we either do a sneak attack, or lure them away from the gold and then gang up on them, or..."
Metal Man (GM): You see the leader. Oh... look... it's a certain Solarian from very long ago... wonder who broke their budget welding his corpse back together.
Valron: "Huh... Looks kinda familiar. Wonder how much they wasted trying to piece 'im back together?"
Metal Man (GM): In any case , you get a good bead on him, you can roll to headshot him. Roll SKI... +1 for sitting there getting a bead on them. It's Maxamillion, or at least, somebody decided to weld his body back together. You doubt that it's anything more than a coincidence, given this strange way he's been put back together.
Valron: "How the hell did they manage to pick up Maxamillion, though?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I... don't know. These were Illian's men, right?"
Valron: "I thought Illian's group kinda completely annihilated him and his mech back when Kuja ruled Nintendus or whatever..."
Nonna: "Is there more to this situation than meets the eye?"
Rel Tavis: "Those Solarians were fake. Made by The Book."
Metal Man (GM): You headshot the leader, and he dies. The others seem really confused as a result. A strange voice echoes through the air, though.
???: "Questers, Questers! Questers trying to kill me in my lair! Ahahaha!" *The voice appears to be coming from the statues.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Yeah, that sounds about right. Something's stinky with those statues."
Nonna: "...No?"
???: "What's the matter? Afraid to fight a magic resonance of somebody you killed? How about TWO? No? ...I'll keep commanding these zombies to play with the gold, then."
Metal Man (GM): The mindless Solarians continue dumbly trying to carve the guitar and getting shocked.
Rel Tavis: "Ah, no, an annoying voice. That makes it even more stupid."
Valron: "Of course there is. Those things are always trouble."
Nonna: "People aren't designed to be your playthings!...You... uh. Guy."
???: "The Questers were my playthings, once. They would do anything as long as I dealt with their problems for them. You guys, though. You're wet blankets. You won't wander directly into danger. You shot down my little scarecrow! I HATE people like you! All the nice things I could use to send stuff to kill you are dead too. I'll be honest. Those dudes that are doing what I'm saying... they're so stupid I don't even use mind control on them. And they refuse to fight you. Something about how you killed everyone that was like them that fought you."
Valron: "So they at least have the knowledge to know not to get on our nerves. Amusing."
???: "But you need the gold, so. Ha ha ha ha! You either leave my gold alone or you don't and have to face me!"
Nonna: "You're in no position to be combative. Surrender now and lay down your arms."
Valron: "So, what exactly isn't... say. Preventing me from just giving your stupid statues the traditional lightning sweep? The lightning, which I should mention, was specifically built for destroying nanite-based entities?"
???: "I'm dead. And trapped in pieces of statues. And you guys were responsible for it, in a way!"
Valron: *And he's already going back to the ship yet again. Y'know.*
Nonna: "I'm not."
???: "Your face is ugly!"
Nonna: "You can't even see my face."
Valron: "So, which forgettable idiot am I even dealing with again...?"
???: "That's because it's so ugly!"
Valron: *Idly checking his ship to see if there's any stupid ghost magic trying to prevent him from taking off and making good on his threat.*
Jackamillion: "Well, the planet got confused, and it merged me, Jack, with me, Maxamillion. So how about two things in one, Dragoshi? Here, come over here... I'll be unable to play a guitar!"
Valron: "I didn't even fight the latter half of that absurd combination."
Jackamillion: "Then today is your stupid day... of pain!"
Valron: "I only popped in after Illian destroy Kuja and his lackeys, after all."
Jackamillion: "You missed out all the fun, you know. I was supposed to come to life and kill all of you, and Alex Fender would aid me..."
Valron: "Besides, let's see something here..." *He checks to see if he needs to be in some sort of minimum range to make good on his lightning-based threat, otherwise he's tempted to just blast them from over here.*
Jackamillion: "Hah! Hahah! What are you even doing over there, anyway? Are you playing with legos?"
Nonna: "You know, trying to flirt with a girl by pretending to say she's unattractive doesn't really work past the age of 13. Just saying."
Metal Man (GM): You can hit him from over there, yeah.
Jackamillion: "You have the nerve to think I'd flirt with your ugly face? Come over here and... wait... crap... no ability to move or attack anyone..."
Valron: "Oh, nothing... nothing... Just..." *Suddenly, the statues are treated the the traditional Valron greeting of NANITE-ANNIHILATING DEATH LIGHTNING* "This.."
Metal Man (GM): You blow them up. Gold pieces fly everywhere. Also those stupid emeralds explode. The Idiots run away screaming. They apparently had no intent on dying today.
Valron: "Look at what you've made me do. You've made me go and blow up some stupid artifacts I never liked in the first place. Don't you feel silly?"
Metal Man (GM): The guitar starts floating towards you.
Jackamillion: "Yes! At last, I am free! ...I'm trapped in a stupid guitar! DAMMIT!"
Valron: "Kit! Can you seal that stupid thing off?"
Nonna: "Nice, I can get some practice in!"
Valron: "Or at least... I dunno, exorcise them or something?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I could shoot bad DVDs into it until the uncoolness leads whatever that undead thing is to die. I'm not sure if touching a Realian guitar possessed by the souls of two horrific undead people is safe."
KitRedgrave: "Sealing... let's see. ...Disable, no. Dispell, maybe but I dunno what that'd do..." *Flip flip flip.*
Metal Man (GM): The guitar continues to float closer. It pauses for a moment.
Jackamillion: "Gah! Where's... where are you, planet? You need to make me powerful again! Why am I not becoming ominous and extreme? I've been dead for MONTHS! I should be at least 3/4 as powerful as Illian by now!" *Floats into a rock blindly* "OW! Stupid lack of eyes!"
Valron: "We deactivated that idiocy."
KitRedgrave: "Why'd I have to go jump universes /before/ I was to start learning how to mess with souls."
Nonna: "Any last words?"
Valron: "So, ah. Yeah. You're kind of a bad joke now."
Jackamillion: "I... I... I will play bad music until you die!"
Valron: "I have... casino-destroying missiles, two more shots of that lightning, and machineguns."
Metal Man (GM): He starts playing some really bad and fugly notes.
Valron: "You're... how do you say this? Vastly outgunned."
KitRedgrave: "Um... just shoot it I guess? Can't find it in this book."
Nonna uses Frierenfesseln to just freeze the thing/shut it up first.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I think we just need to send them on their way."
Valron: "Welp. First time I've had to break in the second shot on this thing, so..." *And now the guitar gets the gift of DEATH LIGHTNING. After Nonna freezes the dumb thing, first.*
Metal Man (GM): I'd say roll it, but missing a floating guitar? That can't dodge? Nahhhhh.
Violet: *Now it's in pieces That are on fire and electrified.*
Xavier Ridgecrest shoots it with DVDs for good measure.
Jackamillion: "Dammmmmn yooooooouuuuuuu!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Nothing remains. The idiots ran away screaming. The gold is there, plus some molten statue bits.
Valron: "And that's what you get for being an insufferable, omnicidal ass who didn't have the decency to pay me for having to suffer through two idiots activating a horde of zombies back when we got those dumb statues!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I swear, if we have to see any more references to that adventure I wasn't even in..."
Valron: "Ugh. Seriously, as far as I'm concerned, any remaining assets of his should rightfully be mine." *And then he goes to land the ship near their reward. GOLD FOR EVERYONE!*
Nonna: "All references are like that for me."
Valron: *He stops* "...Yeah, Gelato?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'd agree, except we kinda deactivated 3/4 of the stuff powering this place."
Nonna: "Of course there is."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All I know is if the gold is cursed or something, we can... shoot it... a lot."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier would go to walk over to the molten mess, kicking some of the pieces of the guitar.
Valron: "...Anyone got anything they can scan for remaining traces of evil magic?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh... right... Kit. Look for evil magic."
Nonna: "If that fails, I have something else to try."
KitRedgrave: "Right." *She takes a look with that crazy mage-o-vision.*
Metal Man (GM): Seems pretty dead now. No more undead energy. The faded ruins of the guitar suggest that something evil befell Alex Fender. And then the explosions destroyed the evil that cursed the guitar.
KitRedgrave: "It looks pretty dead. Nothing I can see, except that Johnny Guitar over here met with a terrible fate. And /then/ got shot."
Nonna: "One final test, then..." *She's utilize a Sowilo rune to clear any illusions or obstructions placed on the gold, if any existed, using sunlight energy.*
Valron: "Well, then." *He lands the ship back with the others, before going to get out of it one last time and check out the gold. Why? Well, in case of any last-minute gotchas, it'll at least take him longer to get back to the ship if he gets possessed! It'll totally work.*
Metal Man (GM): You detect that the gold is real. However, you also detect there isn't a lot of it left. It's actually a pile of debris with gold piled on top of it. There's enough to give everyone some coins, though! *checks how many that should be.* Aha. 300 coins to everyone!
Valron: "A good start, at least..."
Metal Man (GM): And yes, even 300 coins for the people not here.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right. That's the real reason why it was so easy, Gelato. This isn't a massive fortune we're talking about. It's the leftovers. So then. The diamond walls of the castle... is there anything we can even do with them?"
KitRedgrave: "Now how exactly do we work this into coins?"
Valron: "Excavate them, maybe?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah, that's my thought exactly. The walls... we need some sort of jewelers."
Valron: "...Anyone know some jewelers, then?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I never have gone on a mission to find jewelers before. It's bizarre. You'd think I would have. But no."
Valron: "Just as long as it doesn't go as badly as the time we had to buy a new couch, I think we'll be fine."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We can have the Quester ship thing Fy'aar carry the heavy panels, maybe some in Ederick's ship."
Valron: "I can work with that, yeah."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We can go find jewelers from home, unless there's some reason Alsa is a better place to find jewelers."
KitRedgrave: "Jewelers... after an apocalypse. I don't think so."
Valron: "Is it trying to do inverse mixing? ...well, by that I mean 'splitting things apart', but."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I had this idea that Kit's people might be able to do something with it, but somehow I doubt they have vast stores of gold to buy the diamond off of us with. Let's regroup at the Mushroom Kingdom."
Metal Man (GM): Rel Tavis walks over.
Valron: "Sounds like a g... Ah! Yes? What is it?"
KitRedgrave: "Unfortunately not. They seemed to be happy just to have enough to survive on for a few weeks."
Rel Tavis: "You want jewelers, huh? ...I don't deal in jewelry, but the city I like to hang out in has it. You're welcome to my ship parts if you can help me get off this planet."
Nonna: "That's fair."
Valron: "Sounds like a fair trade."
Rel Tavis: "I'm glad you came here, those insane people were screaming stupid things before too. Just that loud voice wasn't with them..." *Rubs forehead* "You're free to take the giant, heavy, hard to transport walls of diamond, anyway... even Illian had his reservations about it. So hard to... mine it, so to speak."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It brings me back to my days as a looting pirate type person. Except we technically have reclaimed loot that belonged to the Questers in the first place."
Valron: "Well, Gelato suggested that he could try and split the diamonds from the walls in a reverse of his usual mixing trick. So we might not actually need to lug the heavy bits of wall around."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There's enough to experiment with, so I'll gladly feed him I--I mean let him play with it."
Metal Man (GM): On that note, I'm gonna assume we switch to downtime, as while the Idiots With Shiny Guns still exist, they aren't attacking right now. We can continue next time with what they do with the giant diamond walls. @_@ I always have the waaaackiest plots. Mission Complete.

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