REVELATION - Story - Chapter 19: Death of a Wackyman

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Date: 7:22:20 PM, May 3rd, 2015.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now let me see... hmmm... that's right... I need a more deathly golf club."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier walks into a shop labeled 'Le Bruin's Destructeur', in the same district as the shop Valron went to, but obviously a different concern. He wanders in through the marble floor, leaning under a chandelier to avoid accidentally breaking it.
Nonna: *Had already checked out from the hotel, and took to wandering around while sipping a large iced tea, getting a bit closer and closer to where the reports were suggesting Xavier was.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Man... how do these people go a day without breaking these giant glass things???"
Metal Man (GM): The shop proprietor stares at Xavier.
Charley: "Er... I am Charley, the shift manager... what do you want? I've been told... you aren't really authorized to even be on this planet..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have a golf club that violates ten treaties against 'unknown elements of construction' and I was wondering if you could make it even more destructive. I mean... my other, more powerful superweapon is back home and I was figuring I needed a backup."
Charley: "Er... as much as I know your cash is probably real... and you could probably destroy me for daring to deny your request..." *He gives a nervous smile.* "I don't have the parts to work on a device that's completely illegal! Heh... heh heh heh..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier coughs a bit and taps one of the display cases.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What do I see there? A concealed weapon that violates one of the other treaties?"
Charley: "It's an... er... museum piece."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "And... is that the front end to a barrel of an M-60 Manslaughter Machine?"
Charley: "Er... a photography instrument."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Look, these cameras are yours, and my camera in my suit is mine. And the law suggests that while I can get arrested being outside your shop, I can't be arrested inside your shop as long as you tolerate me..."
Charley: "..." *Stares at his mobile talky device* "Invisible people are here too?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No, I just have multiple personalities. Also illegal under several treaties because I gave them the ability to text people."
Charley: "...Look, buddy, they changed that law after the infamous Murder-Shop epidemic of '06... ... ...what do you even use to pay people again?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Gold coins."
Charley: "That's not gonna cut it..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I have my secret superweapon pieces... But you have to keep it a secret. Just like that thing over there!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier points at a not cleverly hidden weapon that's been placed inside a mannequin's leg.
Charley: "...Okay, fine, so maybe I made some mistakes..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The land mine in the chandelier I nearly triggered wasn't a mistake!"
Charley: "...Had some bad incidents with really tall cyborgs a while ago... ...I guess I will repair... eeeer... re-break your device for you then... but it has to be a better thing than stinking coins."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Highly illegal phazon. I've been saving it in tupperware containers for this very moment. At least 50 years. Do you know how hard it is to get lead lined tupperware containers? The officer nearly detected it on the way in, but I made him think every OTHER part of me was radioactive instead."
Charley: "It won't take me too long to fix it if you're willing to give me a class A super-element for it... ...but sheesh! Why didn't you make it quiet?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have... other objectives... Ones that are too freaky for you to ever know."
Charley: "Say no more."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier hands the golf club and the phazon over to him, then walks outside, as a crowd has gathered and police officers have blocked them off from the store. Kit would see this form up and sort of block her view of things. Nonna couldn't help but notice it either. The head officer would stare at Xavier.
Chief: "You've been wanted on several billion counts of public vandalism, Xavier! Why in Celestis would you come back here and announce yourself to us? You know you can't defeat all of us, even if you somehow escaped the Time Cops!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I had to get something repaired."
Chief: "I beg your pardon?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It just had to be fixed."
KitRedgrave: *R* "Be forewarned, we're getting some strange interference here. Our guy might be coming for you."
Chief: "Well you could have used a courier! We aren't against business here, even that shady bullcrap we know you probably do, but we ARE against you causing a disturbance."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. That's why I'm not even going to fight you."
Chief: "Uh... you still broke all those stop signs... you have to pay for them and stay here and go to court... and probably serve several thousand years of jail time... if not die entirely from old age..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Kit, Nonna--create some sort of weird distraction that I could presumably activate with my Smash dex. ...Be creative, my Smash dex can potentially signal anything."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out his Smash dex and clicks a button. It then also gets shot by a bunch of people as he casually drops it on the ground.
Chief: "What the hell was that? One more move and it's your helmet that goes next, buddy!"
Metal Man (GM): The Smash Dex, being made out of Nintendium, is somehow not broken, however Xavier probably can't make any quick move to pick it up, either.
KitRedgrave makes... a crapton of TRAINS! :D.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "A friend had sent me a text message, nothing more. I was just wishing them..."
Metal Man (GM): *Train noises.*
Nonna: *C* "Let's avoid collateral damage, shall we?"
Chief: "????"
KitRedgrave: "Hey, they're fake trains. Sssh~"
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Yeah... we're going for something confusing instead."
Metal Man (GM): The Chief looks up as a giant steam locomotive begins to fly from the sky.
Chief: "I am NOT paid enough to deal with this!"
KitRedgrave has the trains just confusingly bounce off buildings leaving them unharmed. And falling from the sky, like that Skyrim mod.
Metal Man (GM): Xavier scoops up his dex and starts running while several people other than the Chief panic and fire into the sky.
Chief: "You're not going to get away with this, Xavier! Your stupid magic tricks don't fool me!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I better get out my stupid technology tricks then!"
Metal Man (GM): The Chief and Xavier get into a sort of combat, since unlike his men, the Chief has clearly had enough of Xavier's madness. The trains cause most of the crowd to flee. Some other opportunistic policemen fire some flashbangs to make the rest of the crowd go away, figuring minimizing civilian casualties would be handy. Of course this also makes it a bit hard to tell what's going on with Xavier and the Chief.
Chief: "You--WILL--not get away!"
Metal Man (GM): The Chief has decentish cybernetics himself, but isn't as strong as Xavier, who basically replaced his arms with freakin' pneumatic jacks. The Chief gets shoved aside.
Nonna: *Keeping an eye open for any other strangely interested parties who may be watching...*
Chief: "Dammit! Why did they have to refuse my request for better cybernetics! I don't care about their army being worried about us turning against them, THIS happens far too often!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Why don't you ask your army to bail you out?" *As he's running away.*
Chief: "I'll be damned if they steal another chance for redemption from me..."
Metal Man (GM): He lines up a shot at Xavier with some sort of stun weapon. He curses to himself as Xavier pulls an Intro To The Matrix (I swear I didn't even expect such a thing, I just rolled those expecting him to possibly get hit). Some other cops get on futuristic cycles to chase after Xavier, but things start getting weird JUUUUST as we're about to go all FFVII Crazy Motorcycle on things. The power just casually goes out, the cycles turn off and the radios and such malfunction. Except for Xavier's, but all the Questers there would see they were using fallback frequencies more advanced people don't generally use. Some men in bizarre looking fire fighter armor appear, complete with bizarre leopard stripes and alternating horeshoe motifs all over their helmets and arms show up.
Nonna: *Thinking to herself: Here we go?*
Metal Man (GM): They pretty much ignore the police officers, who by virtue of their cybernetics have been disabled. Except for the Chief.
Chief: "No... what are you people doing here? We paid the extortion payments! I almost had him!"
Sloan Soldier: "This is Sloan's problem now. Go home, little man."
Metal Man (GM): The soldiers don't really spend their time chewing the tarmac or anything: They just all shoot at Xavier like psychotic murderers do. With weird guns that fire exploding punching glove shaped laser beams. Only one of them actually can threaten him, but... Xavier gets blasted in the shoulder to the tune of 45 damage.
Nonna: *She'd casually get up and start walking closer.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "GAH! What the heck do you put into those things?"
Sloan Soldier: "Trade secret. Now turn around and die like a stupid little man already."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I don't care about these little men you keep talking about!"
Sloan Soldier: "..." *Facepalms.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "All right... I think we got his attention, but I'm not even sure Sloan is here... and that HURT." *He taps his top hat, suggesting for Gelato to possibly heal him as he goes to turn around, backing towards the car.* *R* "Kit, I wouldn't mind if you edged the car a bit closer, we can pretend my car is 'alive' or something."
Sloan Soldier: "Where are you going? We can shoot down your car. We can detect it the moment you dare to try to get into it."
Nonna: *Of course, she'd act like one of the many curious onlookers and bystanders who wonder what this commotion was all about. She'd use this opportunity to search the crowd for any sign of Sloan himself.*
KitRedgrave would have the car "malfunction" and pull on over. Oops, you didn't engage your parking brake~
Gelato: 'Break lots of stuff!' *He Cures Xavier twice for 48 HP, if that's allowed in this situation.*
Metal Man (GM): That is allowed, yes, you'll just have to wait a little bit before you can do it again. Nonna would notice something suspicious: a man with a deerstalker jacket and a weird fedora pulled over his face. He seems to be keeping to himself, only his ear turned towards the chaos.
Sloan Soldier: "What do you think you're going to do, huh? Huh?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have my superweapon, you fool! If you threaten me, this entire place goes!"
Sloan Soldier: "Nuh-uh. We would have detected it."
Nonna: *She'd keep an eye on him, watching for any devices, weapons, or sudden movements in response to Xavier's chaos.*
Metal Man (GM): So far he's just watching.
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "If he is out here, I think I need to earn his attention. He's probably certain these soldiers can kill me. Here, let's pretend I can control the car. Push the laser buttons on the car, Kit."
KitRedgrave: *R* "Roger, and then some."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh, you've got me now! ...Not!" *Takes out the dex and pushes buttons menacingly.*
KitRedgrave would push the laser buttons, and then some other ones she doesn't know what they do.
Sloan Soldier: "That thing is a stupid old toy! We've been monitoring your transmissions! You can't..."
Metal Man (GM): Lasers blanket the mostly empty square. Things start exploding all over the place as the invisible car goes all Arwing on the area. Soldiers go flying, some with force fields. They are obviously not meant to be standing in the path of mecha-destroying lasers. The one who was talking at Xavier is KO'd after flying into somebody's second store window and his shield exploded.
Nonna: *Any reaction from mystery man to this?*
Metal Man (GM): Some of the others hit the dirt, but they seem a bit more reticent to engage a man with an invisible laser spewing vehicle. The man seems... interested. He moves in a bit closer as a more senior Sloan soldier wearing some weird black and white dalmation jacket wanders over.
Sloan Commander: "Look, we know you can do dirty tricks. But we have an entire fleet in orbit. We bribed all the people here too. They won't even attack us. You can kill these soldiers but ultimately, you're going to need to GIVE us whatever it is you're hiding. It's important. This universe can't have you unbalancing everything and taking it over. That's what we do. And we know you know we know that we know that you know."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That sentence makes killing you no longer a war crime!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier shoots at the person with the DVD launcher.
KitRedgrave: "You should know that there's no point in going more than 2 levels high!"
Metal Man (GM): The person is fast, but not that fast. They get stunned and stuck full of DVDs.
KitRedgrave: "The only numbers are ZERO, ONE, TWO, and INFINITY!" *More crazy car flipout shenanigans.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "See? My main weapons are--" *Giant laser based explosion* "...non... leth... ...I'll take it."
Metal Man (GM): The strange man finally takes the fore, although the Commander is much tougher and retreats rather than dying. Though their outfit is ruined forever. It has Gigli and Catgirl Dvds stuck to it now. And the Wicker Man managed to lodge in their helmet. The strange man sighs to himself.
Nonna uses her dex to send a random text to Valron, Borne, Illian indicating that she may have the target in sight. Since he and the soldiers were distracted by the chaos, she hoped this went unnoticed.
???: "Why do we have to go through this, Xavier? You had a pet world to yourself. Why did you think you could come out and ruin this one for no reason? You yourself complained to me about the same when we last met. I mean... I could have just sent three of my Commanders at you and watched them very slowly kill you after we blow up that invisible car of yours. But you know... brevity is wit, and I'm a lot smarter than you."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out his Golden Gun and his Maian Farsight rifle.
???: "Come out and die, or don't and die. I can do both simultaneously if you insist. It's not like I haven't done it before. Garrick was a nice willing tool... but his device lacked precision. I'm much smarter than him though, so... I'm going to shoot you without even explaining what I'm actually talking about."
Metal Man (GM): He sighs and aims the Farsight at Xavier, the wind oddly blowing and revealing the trademark swoosh of Sloan's hair to Nonna.
Sloan: "And for the record--your Stadium sucked, Xavier."
Nonna: *She gets ready to make a move, just needed the right opportunity...*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier, seeing what's there, isn't exactly about to stand there either.
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Those are both one hit, one kill weapons... somebody get him before he pulls the trigger... and I don't mean a laser car thing, his force field is gonna stop that..."
KitRedgrave would then "accidentally" try to out-of-control slam the car into Sloan from some weird angle.
Metal Man (GM): Sloan casually goes to try and aim and shoot at Xavier, staring through the scope at him... ...the car flies into range and he appears to be blinded by it detecting the energy of the car, even though his force field stops the car from touching him.
Sloan: "Gah! Stupid vehicle! Stop glowing so brightly! You're being childish, Xavier! You can't hide behind toys forever!"
Metal Man (GM): Sloan casually goes to try to move so the car isn't blocking his line of sight.
Sloan: "I swear... you've become much more tricky to kill... normally you would walk in the middle of the square and stay there... now you keep moving things into my way..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier meanwhile takes out the Alsan Sword of Light and moves to the side. Sloan goes to set up a new position shielded by a building.
KitRedgrave: *R* "Maybe now would be a good time to fire our 'superweapon' at him."
Metal Man (GM): Nonna would have Sloan's back to her. Indeed, Xavier moved to force him in that direction.
KitRedgrave: *R* "And miss wildly, because we're inept as ever at aiming. But he'll know we 'have' it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "I don't think I can get him to move again without some real luck... we better pull the trigger."
Nonna: *Would then charge up her weapon with a rune, buffs her damage and accuracy with other runes, but instead of attacking first, she'd inscribe the othala rune on herself and then dash and try to grab him and activate it...*
Xavier Ridgecrest: *R* "Just stay with me, Gelato... if he does anything you can revive me and--"
Metal Man (GM): Sloan turns around, aiming his gun at Nonna, figuring he'd just shoot her, but something causes him to hesitate.
Sloan: "Oh look, it's the old President's Daugh--"
KitRedgrave: *A* "Roger, activating superweapon now. ...Crap, didn't mean to loudspeaker that." *Then an illusion of charging...*
Metal Man (GM): And then he and Nonna vanish as she gives the force field a nice hug and it takes everything in it with her.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Well that was different. Let's get back to the Wing Fortress, and fast."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier would leap into the vehicle, as the Sloan people on the ground would completely flip out. Including something odd. The Sloan Commander would scream into his radio.
KitRedgrave would... sideways crash the limo into the ground, letting Xavier and the crew in. @w@;
Sloan Commander: "DANGER! ANTHON TARK AGENTS ARE IN THE FIELD! ANTHON TARK AGENTS ARE IN THE FIELD!"
KitRedgrave: "...What."
Metal Man (GM): They start running around like somebody said the Devil was hiding in wait to kill them and run away as fast as they can, though some shoot at the limo, it's kind of too late and they're too distracted to damage the shields to nothing.
KitRedgrave: "What is even. What." *He would go burn rubber outta here once everyone's in.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I don't know what's going on, but let's attack them while they're confused! To outer space!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier leaps in as the ship flies off into the sky. Up ahead is a giant 8-ball shaped mothership that can be seen trying to burn rubber itself--but it's far too large to get away from the planet too quickly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now what we have here, is an accidentally helpful situation. ...Also known as, I see the rear engine and hangars of the ship are exposed to us. Let's blow it up. ...And make a note to come back for my golf club. I gave that man a pretty hefty note on what I wanted done with it... ...I hope Nonna is okay."
KitRedgrave: "Roger." *She starts mashing buttons.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Intergalactic radio got damaged in that incident... dammit... We need to steal one of those off of these ships while we're at it."
Metal Man (GM): Aaand we can continue Gelato and Kit and Xavier later, if need be during the week, 'cuz I gotta definitely do this next part now or my brain will implode from the suspense. XP A very big "MEANWHILE." Sloan and Nonna warp into the Wing Fortress.
Sloan: "--ter. ...Where the hell have you taken me, Nonna Tark? Is this some sort of joke?"
Metal Man (GM): He scans the room with his eyes.
Nonna: "Granddaughter, actually." *She'd step back, to let Borne and Illian's trap to do its thing.*
Sloan: "...Old tech... stupid tech... is that a fireproof coffee maker??? ...Borne... Illian... ancient Vring death robot... Deathguard... ...what."
Valron: *While this has all been going on, Valron has been preparing. And by 'preparing' I mean he's hit himself with a Charged Swords Dance and Agility and is lying in wait for the right chance to strike. He's hiding, y'see.*
Sloan: "I ran away from your world, Illian. And then you died. Why are you even here?"
Metal Man (GM): Illian responds by lighting up a blood red lightsaber and stabbing Sloan's field with it. It pokes a hole through the field and knocks Sloan's hat off.
Editor's Note: Illian hates nothing more than Rhetorical Questions!
Valron: *And then that's Valron's cue to open fire with a hypercharged Caustic Flare via Vendetta Machinegun.*
Sloan: "What the hell is that? What the hell is-- THAT--" *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM.*
Valron: "Did ya miss me!?" *Screaming that over the gunfire.*
Nonna: *Her buffed weapon then unleashes its full power!*
Sloan: "YOU--" *Interrupted by pained noises from being hit by lasers plus that Vendetta sword.*
Metal Man (GM): He almost immediately begins bleeding copiously from those, since he figured his shield was INVINCIBEL. The field in fact, sputters freakishly as the Vendetta nanites basically screw it up.
Illian MacGregor: "I hate Gerald Robotnik and the fact The Void made him up. But I enjoy the look on your face at realizing even fake stupid weapons are more real than your force field."
Metal Man (GM): He manages--barely--to duck away from Nonna's attack, or so it seems until it hits him mid-stride. Through that nice hole in his force field.
Violet: *375 damage, Environmental Hazard, Confusion status effect, Teamup if there's any bonuses from that too.*
Metal Man (GM): I also have to spend a quick moment to look at Julian's Vendetta to discover the approximate damage Illian just did. Oh... my god... Vendetta actually used the INT stat back when... And that was Illian who just used it... Sloan does actually have a lot of HP, so I am actually calculating this before I go with what's next... silly and slowdown-ish as it might be, XP Hm. Ironically, Vendetta will probably deal similar damage to what you guys did. It wasn't actually that badly balanced.. ..For THIS system.
Nonna: "Sorry, but when you ruin so many lives as you have, and don't do anything to repent, then it's only natural that you'll meet your end like this." *She'd gesture to Asgard to place shields on the party.*
Metal Man (GM): The party gains 50-HP shields each. Meanwhile, the Deathguard reacts by going to punch the @#$% out of Sloan. Ok... now that I had to dig for it...
Vendetta
Main Stat: INT
Rank: 33
To-hit: d20+11INT mod
Damage: 11INT mod
Crit: 19-20
------------------
Add mod x22
Check enhancer: INT
Counter-Slice
Concealable
Critical Edge
Fearsome Weapon
Glow
Silent
Metal Man (GM): Everything goes up to 11 with this weapon. So basically in THIS system it just adds +11 to accuracy, damage, and has automatic OH MY GOD PIERCING ...Which then overflows and thus is just maximum to both accuracy and damage. Which is less than 11. This is why I make decent systems these days and not then. ANYWAY.... 15*POW damage, or since this is an energy weapon, 15 * ENG damage. Illian is not 10 ENG but more like 9 or something... 135 damage is more like it. Piercing "Screw You" damage, mind you.
Metal Man (GM): In a bit of hilarity, the new Vendetta properly emulates the original, right down to the damage. The original did 132 damage in Julian's hands. Since this system rounds things off, it deals 135 damage in Illian's. Now that I have geeked out... *adds up damage, also microbrb for bathroom and then will roll the Deathguard and show what Borne does* And back. Illian dealt 135, and Valron dealt 210, and... *Checks* 375 + Teamup from Nonna (and she teamed up with that deathliness) Then...
Commander Borne: "This is for Alsa... and all the people you killed... and also vengeance for you trying to send Garrick to kill me and nearly succeeding... and you betraying me... and Mad Molly... and the list goes on that I'll be sure to tape it to your cold, dead corpse."
Metal Man (GM): He manages to dodge that, however it's another TP he used.
Sloan: "I'll still manage to spite you..." *Bloody cough* "Gurk..."
Metal Man (GM): The Deathguard punches Sloan right in the face for 75 damage.
Commander Borne: "Well, I can't complain."
Metal Man (GM): Asgard made the shields, so now to tally up damage from the Surprise Round so far... 795, with Teamup just make it 1000...
Valron: "In any case, you have something of mine. I want it back."
Metal Man (GM): Sloan stumbles, leaning on the control panel and coughing more blood, but not dead. He's obviously not fully human, although on the flip side he still bleeds like one.
Sloan: "I'm... so honored that so many... want me dead... but at the same time... I can't let that happen so easily..." *He pushes a button, healing the force field* (not that it'll be very effective as long as somebody breaks it every round)
Metal Man (GM): And to save time and also be orderly, I'll just make the turn order Sloan, then Everybody Else, since the surprise round ends with Sloan doing his turn in reaction to everything that happened.
Valron: "Tch... Guess I won't be going for the literal disarm just yet."
Sloan: "What, was it ever this simple to defeat me? I would have been dead already."
Valron: "I was hoping Christmas would come a little early, I guess."
Sloan: "What you're going to get is a fight to the death! We'll see who lives after I'm done with... ...this impressive array of people who have broken my way back home... ..." *Stares at Illian* "...The deal on Alsa could still happen, you know."
Illian MacGregor makes decapitation gesture with Vendetta.
Sloan: "...Nevermind..."
Metal Man (GM): Sloan stares, both afraid and yet excited at the same time, as his messed up rainbow suit can be seen underneath all the blood stains and bullet holes and laser holes and stuff.
Sloan: "I can possibly kill all of you... or be killed! This is so exciting I couldn't have ever expected it... especially with the President's grandchild accosting me with the mother of all hugs. ...But who... who should I kill?" *He points at Nonna.* "No... a little child? I would be showing myself to be a coward."
Metal Man (GM): He points it at Illian.
Sloan: "Wait... he already died. Is shooting a dead man really going to prove I'm tough?"
Metal Man (GM): He points at Borne.
Sloan: "I already beat him. Boring."
Metal Man (GM): He then points at Asgard...
Sloan: "It's a robot. Why should I be afraid of a dumb robot?"
Valron: "And I wouldn't even be a challenge, I'm sure."
Metal Man (GM): He smiles and points it at Valron.
Sloan: "To the contrary. You're the one I hate the most."
Valron: "I'm honored."
Sloan: "The others are either children, robots, or dead people. And I REALLY wanted to kill that meddling tinman and his annoying... animal friends... ...But you caused them to be far away, which makes me REALLY MAD."
Valron: "Good. C'mon, then. Get to it."
Sloan: "Even if they're stupid and fly here, I will probably have to leave even if I kill you!"
Metal Man (GM): He shoots the Golden Gun at Valron, deciding that subtlety is lost in a battle where several of the most destructive weapons in SSQ history were discharged wildly and angrily at him.
Metal Man (GM): Valron imitates 007 and leaps out of the way as the Golden Gun shoots its lone bullet into a wall.
Sloan: "...I was going to execute Xavier with this, you bastard!"
Valron: "Strike one."
Metal Man (GM): He chucks the gun away like it's garbage now.
Valron: "...Well, more like strike two, I s'pose."
Metal Man (GM): Then he aims the Farsight XR-20 at Valron, deciding that if he can't be cool, at least he can be weird. However, it's a huge rifle and he has to slowly aaaim it at somebody who's WATCHING HIM AIM IT. Granted, the ammunition rockets at high speeds once fired.
Metal Man (GM): 256 damage. It's really cheap in that it damages the field AND Valron. It just keeps going, smashing some other stuff through the walls elsewhere too.
Sloan: "Suck on that, you pest!"
Metal Man (GM): He then spends the rest of his turn trying to reload it, as it looks like it accepts a bowling ball he has to feed to it... it's like a weird animal that shoots death lasers. Illian silently walks up to Sloan and swings diagonally.
Nonna inscribes a uruz rune on Valron to heal/revive him.
Metal Man (GM): Vendetta slices the Farsight XR-20 in two.
Sloan: "What the hell? What the hell, man! What kind of fighting is this???"
Valron: "Right. If you're going to be annoying, then I'm going to revoke your arm privileges."
Metal Man (GM): Valron wakes up to watching Xavier violently slicing the Farsight XR-20 in two. Er, Illian. *Smacks brain.*
Valron: *And then the Vendetta machinegun suddenly transforms into Schnelltott.*
Illian MacGregor: "Now I know why Julian loved to do this."
Sloan: "Julian was a monster! Why would you ever want to be him?"
Illian MacGregor: "I'm more like Julian without the stupid mouth."
Metal Man (GM): Illian hardly takes any TP to swing Vendetta, so he gets into formation with Valron.
Illian MacGregor: "Let's both swing at him at the same time."
Sloan: "You really think I'm going to be hit that easily?"
Nonna: *She then charges and buffs the power and accuracy of her Frierenfesseln attack, hoping to freeze him, and with a potential teamup too!*
Illian MacGregor: "You're a fat man with a really poor force field."
Valron: *And then Sloan would get a rather... sudden greeting via Valron attempting to carve off the arm that has Sloan's half of the Mad Men insignia on it* "And I have a sword that's renowned for being able to strike true. Do the math."
Metal Man (GM): Illian opts to spin his arm like General Grievous and swing at Sloan's face with the Vendetta saber.
Commander Borne: "You know, I almost don't feel the need to punch Sloan... ...almost." *Wanders over, waiting for an opening.*
Dragoshi: *Literal Disarm is go!*
Metal Man (GM): Vendetta v3 -- He lunges aside from Schnelltott, only to get hit in the face about 20 times.
Sloan: "Arrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
Illian MacGregor: "The spirit of Julian compels you to die."
Nonna: *then fires her buffed Frierenfesseln too!*
Metal Man (GM): Sloan is knocked backwards from the Vendetta swing, directly into Nonna's attack. And like a pinball he slams into it.
Violet: *312 Ice damage, Status Effects: Stunned, Disarmed, Nonna gains Repellent, also Teamup bonus if there's any.*
Metal Man (GM): The pieces of the Farsight XR-20 go flying into the walls. If Sloan was going to repair them... I guess not anymore! Sloan's hair is literally on fire from the lasers, only for him to get frozen to the floor at the same time, with his hair still on fire. Borne and the Deathguard decide to go to the flaming ice sculpture and violently punch it.
Commander Borne: "What's the matter? Unable to CHEAT anymore?" *SLAM.*
Metal Man (GM): They make a point of punching Sloan into the leftover ice spikes laying around ..And also into the consoles of Xavier's. Which are incredibly painful looking to be slammed into. Sloan manages to barely dodge both due to a decent gap, but it's actually their turns this time... ...And so after he ducks a couple, he inevitably gets punched all over the place.
Sloan: "Not so fast aren't yo--OW! You can't touch me you little synchopha--GAH!"
Metal Man (GM): The burning green ice stuck to him and console add even more damage to him, plus Borne hits twice as hard as the Deathguard. 150 + 75 + 100 environmental + 100 environmental damage + 200 teamup damage to that one. And Vendetta hit... 2 times, so that's 270 more damage on top of that. Since it rather quickly gets out of hand when you start doing varhit attacks with it ala General Grievous. Adding more teamup damage from Nonna's too since Illian basically shoved him into that one, resulting in 1250 damage from everyone so far. Anything from Asgard? Sloan is starting to worry now, despite whatever amount of HP he has.
Violet: *Going on shield duty still for now, assuming there's no more shield-penetrating attacks.*
Sloan: "You..." *Spits blood* "You actually are fighting me on MY level? Dah... why did it have to be you... why couldn't you have let the children and idiots fight me! I had Xavier... RIGHT... THERE!"
Valron: "Because that would be no fun for me. This, on the other hand is just gold."
Nonna: "And... those children and idiots are the ones who devised this plan. So what does that make you?"
Sloan: "I don't have to ride the coattails of Anthon Tark to make an impact, little girl! I built this... this was all me!"
Metal Man (GM): He holds up his own coattails, which are violently iridescent. One of which has fallen off during the violent Vendetta-ing.
Valron: "...Right."
Commander Borne: "I really don't care if she was the spawn of Satan herself. She brought you here, that's all I really care about."
Illian MacGregor: "Who's Anthon Tark? Why do I care?" *Swings at the air annoyedly* "You and Borne were my only problems, and Borne isn't a problem anymore..."
Sloan: "I see I won't make you realize you're being used. Well, it comes with the territory. I don't have to die because of one mistake." *He clicks on a beacon.* "I can still get my entire fleet to come here, you see! If you kill me they can bring me back! I'm... half Mad Man... the other half they can duct tape or something! Speaking of that, I had better use my powers against you, because otherwise I'm going to be half a skeleton."
Metal Man (GM): He concentrates over-hard and starts to glow violently.
Nonna: *Looking quite exhausted from all the energy she's expended, but she still stands tall and defiantly.*
Metal Man (GM): You see an interesting little thing glow over his head, some sort of super algorithm... It's looking for a way to win this battle...
Valron: "I'll make sure you won't have that Mad Man half anymore."
Metal Man (GM): He first tries to set the Wing Fortress to explode. He flips a million switches at once. Then he stares at the switches.
Sloan: "...No that's not going to work... somebody wired this to only respond to a children's plaything..."
Metal Man (GM): He holds his head a bit, trying not to get too much of a headache from simulating Xavier's feverish insanity.
Nonna: "If this is the part where you tell us that you were secretly keeping a universe-destroying malevolent force at bay all this time, now would be the time to do it."
Illian MacGregor: "Don't try to hotwire that mess, Sloan. It'll kill you before I get to decapitate you!"
Valron: *Mainly waiting for a good opportunity to make another lunge and carve off Sloan's arm at this point.* (I forget. It was his right arm that had the insignia on it, right?)
Commander Borne: "I tried to recognize what Xavier used on that once. I spent the next six days making seal noises and rolling down the aisles."
Valron: "...That's horrifying, Borne."
Illian MacGregor: "Yeah! It was really annoying! I had to hit him with a wrench a couple thousand times to snap him out of it..."
Nonna: "Arf arf arf."
Sloan: "Idiots... idiots everywhere... I don't have any secret plans! I just wanted to rule all or part of the universe!"
Valron: "Yeah, I kinda figured that ages ago."
Sloan: "Because I outsmarted everyone. Except I forgot that stupidity is unpredictable. Which is stupid of me to do! You want to know what I was doing? I was terrorizing ponies that transform into dragons with a giant mecha! I had just gotten back to a sane universe... And now I'm being attacked by the deadliest assassin squad this side of the universe..."
Valron: "I don't know whether to feel bad for you, or wish I had popcorn to watch that."
Nonna: "This sound like excuses, not repentance."
Illian MacGregor: "You shoulda stuck to that dumb sounding other universe, Sloan. I don't think I would have bothered to save that universe if you conquered it."
Editor's Note: Ouch. Illian really hates SSS.
Sloan: "Repentance? I don't repent. I reload!"
Nonna: "You think you can just... keep going after all you've done?"
Metal Man (GM): He reloads twin P-90s.
Sloan: "I'll kill all of you like I failed to kill those ponies! I mean... I'll succeed!"
Metal Man (GM): He fires a wild cloud of submachinegun bullets.
Nonna: "Not to right the wrongs you've committed, but to whitewash them? Pretend that all the suffering you caused meant nothing?"
Sloan: "Casualties are a part of every mission!"
Nonna: "And you claim to be the real victim?!"
Metal Man (GM): He fires at Nonna, Valron, and Illian, first.
Valron: "Like this is anything new from him. He's just a colossal wretch, Nonna."
Metal Man (GM): 75 damage if hit. Threatens Nonna, Valron, and Illian. (One roll for all three to save my sanity) Illian does... that thing where he somersaults mid-air. It's brokenly delicious.
Nonna: *The shield absorbs 50 of the damage, and she takes 25 damage, but doesn't flinch.*
Valron: *He just does the traditional 'outrun the bullets' maneuver.*
Sloan: "Damn it! Even if I kill the rest of you, that THING is going to keep rocketing around everywhere!"
Metal Man (GM): He opens fire over and over again at Illian. He uses his entire clip chasing Illian everywhere, screaming bloody murder.
Sloan: "WHY WON'T YOU GET HIT? AHHHHHHH!!!!!" *BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM.*
Illian MacGregor: "I'm a tactical assault cyborg, not some accidental civilian you can 'collateral damage', Sloan. Also, I'm a distraction. Why are you attacking me again?"
Sloan: "You... are just... so... ANNOYING!"
Illian MacGregor: "Exactly."
Nonna recovers 1 SP via Energetic.
Metal Man (GM): Illian puts on his twin mitts... the E-123 lasers.
Illian MacGregor: "You don't seem to understand the true meaning of Dakka. Let me show you. SOLARIAN REVOLUTION!"
Metal Man (GM): In a horrifying fusion of Razor's Meteor Revolution and a Solarian solar explosion, Illian basically causes a giant hologram of a sun to create a giant solar flare full of lasers from the E-123 at Sloan's direction.
Valron: "Enough." *He draws the Indigo Blade along with Schnelltott, deciding to wield both blades at once, before going to lunge at Sloan, attempting to spear him on one while he chops off the insignia-bearing arm with the other, riding through the explosion of the Solarian Revolution like some sort of ridiculous action movie protagonist!*
Metal Man (GM): Sloan's shield is supposed to block this--but the sheer power level from the combined weapons is so extreme, it's akin to that time Autumnus tried to crush him to death by sitting on his shield. Sloan's shield just completely explodes from all the lasers blasting it. Stunned from that one, he's unable to dodge Valron at all.
Sloan: "You... I... you're supposed to be idiots! You're supposed to be afraid of my one-hit kill guns! You're not supposed to use cheap weapons against me!"
Nonna: *She charges and puts an accuracy and power buff on her freezing attack again, running dangerously low on SE, but she contributes a giant icey death attack again to the team effort!*
Metal Man (GM): Sloan seems to be having a mental breakdown right now.
Sloan: "I had Xavier! He was alone! Why would I suddenly be attacked by the President's grandchild? Why is Borne and Illian alive and attacking me? Why is Dragoshi here? Why... why... waaaaaaaaaargh!"
Metal Man (GM): He stands there and just gets hit by the icey death attack. Valron would steal himself a P-90.
Violet: *250 ice damage, disarmed, stunned, Repellent buff on Nonna, Teamup bonus.*
Valron: "In order - I have no idea what you're on about, Borne is my fault, Illian is Kit's fault, and to answer that last one?"
Metal Man (GM): The remaining P-90 is flung onto the console like it's nothing.
Valron: "Because I want to bring peace and sanity back to the universe and you're in the way of me doing that, you gaudy piece of trash"
Sloan: "You... have no clue... my fleet will come... my men will DESTROY you! I built them... I built... I built everything... I am the answer the universe needs, not you! My control is the only thing that works!" *--Said while on fire, frozen and basically being flung around everywhere.*
Metal Man (GM): Sloan casually opens fire on Sloan again. This time, it (barely) hits. 150 damage.
Violet: *He's gone crazy!*
Metal Man (GM): Yup... Sloan has lost his mind... he successfully hits himself with his own fist. 22 damage. Which, while that happens, Borne shoots him with the Phase Pistol. Somehow, Sloan dodges that. I guess punching himself in the face knocked him out of it.
Nonna: "This universe doesn't belong to one man. Anyone who thinks so is the enemy of everyone else in it. Don't declare war on everyone and then complain when people fight back..."
Sloan: "Geh... I... can't lose... not to Borne! Anyone else but Borne!"
Commander Borne: "I am really getting tired of this."
Metal Man (GM): Borne goes to just kick Sloan in the groin. Sloan crumples over, having been kicked with enough force to shatter steel.
Nonna: "That's... surprisingly effective."
Valron: "Simple, but effective."
Metal Man (GM): The Deathguard casually kicks Sloan in the back. Sloan can't even really dodge at this rate.
Nonna: "Let's just put him out of his misery."
Metal Man (GM): Sloan burbles and clutches a device looking like an 8-ball.
Sloan: "...D...>D.d... Nine... ... Nine Breake... kill... kill this place... and everybody..." *He goes to click the button, but it gives an error message.*
Metal Man (GM): It says....
Device: 'ERROR: CONTROL CENTER EXPLODED BY ANIME FOX AND LIQUID DRAGON AND METAL MAN'
Metal Man (GM): He stares at it and drops it in disbelief.
Valron: "Yeah. That's what I thought." *Is that a smirk? Yep, that's a smirk.*
Sloan: "You would kill my fleet... the person I meant to kill had TWO OTHERS and they did that BY THEMSELVES..."
Illian MacGregor: "He only had one of those and he blew up my capital ship. Why again did you expect yours to do better against even more people?"
Nonna: *She picks up the other dropped P90*
Sloan: "You give me no choice... I can't win... I can't even get even..."
Metal Man (GM): He laughs to himself as he pushes a button on his force field and it doesn't even light up.
Sloan: "Not even the dignity of self destruction... you broke it..."
Metal Man (GM): He hurls the broken shield device at Illian, who dodges as it disintegrates uselessly on the floor.
Valron: "You don't deserve dignity, Sloan."
Nonna: *She'd then brandish her soul weapon again and attempt to suddenly jam it literally right into his face.*
Metal Man (GM): He holds up a hand to try to block it. Not that that truly works.
Valron: *AND IN THE WITH THE THROUGH-THE-GUT ASSIST.*
Metal Man (GM): It just means you shish-kabob his arm. Although... His arm is actually a Mad Man arm... So he is holding it back, even though he then gets stabbed in the gut. He stares Nonna in the face while slowly losing the energy to keep up the defense...
Nonna: "Don't struggle. You're just making it take longer."
Sloan: "This... universe... will destroy you, Nonna... there may be no... other threat... that made me do this... but you will become... like them... ...and your father... will..."
Metal Man (GM): He then lets down his guard intentionally so you kill him before he finishes his sentence. Illian casually kicks the corpse. He's truly out of tricks. There's no other items on him.
Valron: *And Valron, of course goes to touch the Mad Man insignia, trying to see if he can get it transferred to his own half-finished one or something.*
Illian MacGregor: "Well..." *He kicks the corpse again.* "You know, I was pretty certain he was going to die when Psycho Me in my faded memories was fighting him... ...And I see I wasn't too far off the mark... because he's only half a Mad Man..."
Nonna: *Exhausted, she'd step back and stumble over.* "He's... he's dead."
Illian MacGregor: "Which isn't even a real one..."
Valron: "My half... Which is entirely my bad, sorry."
Illian MacGregor: "Like me, you simply had to rectify the mistake, now didn't you?"
Metal Man (GM): The other half goes to Valron automatically.
Valron: "Yes."
Metal Man (GM): Like it had just been held back by that jokester.
Illian MacGregor: "We all make plenty of mistakes. Even he did. He could have decided against that stupid course of action... but then again. He thought we were all idiots."
Valron: "And that was his biggest mistake."
Nonna: "Even though it was Sloan, I... can't help but feel dirty for doing it like that."
Illian MacGregor: "You'll get used to it in time."
Valron: *And with that, he disengages the weapon cube, before putting both it and the Indigo Blade away* "Can't say I feel any remorse over it, myself."
Illian MacGregor: "What's dirty is this old garbage relic making me want to chop his head off like a barbarian."
Metal Man (GM): Illian depowers Vendetta and drops it back in the box, the power cell in it dying from old age.
Valron: "Though that's probably what happens when you're as... hardened to this sort of thing as we are..."
Nonna: *She pockets the p90*
Illian MacGregor: "I only brought it out because he was a very special person I wanted dead..."
Nonna: "Good... good job, everyone."
Illian MacGregor: "Otherwise I wouldn't tempt the hell demons of the past like that."
Editor's Note: Although he would end up tempting said demons several times. Ironically, it didn't turn out all bad, in the end.
Metal Man (GM): Illian stares at the 8-ball, which is actually a 9-ball.
Nonna: *She seems to be in disbelief, and/or shock.*
Valron: *Slings his own P90 across his back* "Aye. Good work."
Illian MacGregor: "We should probably make sure the others are Okay. A Nine Breaker... he must have one hell of a mech. They only destroyed the control center. That doesn't necessarily mean the fleet and the machines won't just go bonkers."
Valron: *He then... goes to approach Nonna and give her a gentle pat on the shoulder.* "Go and rest. I'm sure you need it." *He then glances over to Illian* "Well, then. Sounds like an opportunity if I've ever heard one."
Commander Borne: "Nonna... ...I'm sure your grandfather would be of more use to help you in this time than anything I would say." *He would grit his teeth.* "And knowing that you were tangled with him certainly doesn't make me happy..." *Then he looks to Sloan's corpse.* "But only a moron would get upset after you killed Sloan for me. I've wanted that bastard dead for years. He kept dodging everything I attacked him with, didn't you see? He's a master of that! That's why I couldn't kill him. It had to be someone like you. I can see that now. He would expect one of us to do it and dodge or heal."
Valron: "Yeah. Any of us on our own wouldn't be enough. Even some of us together probably wouldn't be enough. It... had to be like this."
Commander Borne: "Anyone with a brain knows Illian is a giant blender of death. I didn't even know he could wield a weapon like that."
Illian MacGregor: "I had to make sure Sloan wouldn't know what to do about me. Otherwise he'd do that thing where he laughs and blocks everything with his force field."
Metal Man (GM): Borne slumps against the wall.
Commander Borne: "At least... that nightmare is over..."
Valron: "...I must wonder, though. What do I do now? I mean... what with the whole 'I'm now a proper Mad Man' thing and all that."
Commander Borne: "Well, Valron, obviously, you have to help the others destroy the last of Sloan's fleet before whatever successor Sloan had can re-establish order. ...In a moment, I think it'll keep for a moment."
Valron: "Yes, there is that. I'll go get my ship ready, then. And maybe keep the transport ship on standby once everything's died down. I'm sure there's a lot we could glean from Sloan's tech."
Nonna: "There's... still some things... but, I need to be alone for now." *She'd get back up, Sloan's blood covering her face, hair, and uniform, and go off to her quarters.*
Commander Borne: "I'm going to rest... because it's going to take me a while to... come to terms with this. Anthon Tark's... grand daughter... ...Sloan dead... ...Illian wielding a nightmarish death saber..."
Nonna: "Oh, if you could have my ship sent back, that'd be nice..."
Illian MacGregor: "I can probably get somebody to take it back, yes. They will probably pay us the bounty on Sloan's head when this is all over. Maybe they'll consider annulling some of Xavier's bounties too."
Valron: "I... should probably at least catch a quick bite to eat. I'll be ready and waiting afterwards, in any case." *He seems... oddly unperturbed by all of this. Whether that's just Valron being himself or his years of experience in this line of work... That's yet to be seen.*
Illian MacGregor: "The Time Hobo causing indirectly for the Lethal Joker to die? Yeah..."
Valron: "...Ah, right. There's bounties. Those are nice."
Illian MacGregor: "Lethal Joker here was much higher up the food chain. People just kept ignoring how dangerous he was."
Valron: "Guess we'll all be gettin' a few more Cronikos, then?"
Illian MacGregor: "His force field, though... was just another toy, and like any one-note supervillain, he was nothing without it. Most likely, yes."
Valron: "Good. I've already been trying to think of ways to tune up the transport ship, actually."
Metal Man (GM): On that note, I'm gonna pause. I need to do Kit and Xavier and Gelato during the week, and of course I'll decide EXP probably tomorrow, tired now and gotta eat.
Valron: "And maybe get some more Type-Cs while we're at it."
Metal Man (GM): Haven't eaten in a while XP You can downtime if there's any here... otherwise... Mostly Paused.

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