Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 111: Saga of Silliness

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Date: December 14th, 21st, 22nd, 26th & 27th 2004.
Trivia: I switched between normal mIRC and NoNameScripted mIRC around this time.
Trivia 2: This is a very famous log. It contains a prototype Anthon Tark, Nanite Metal Sonic, the Robotnik-cake incident AND the Waluigi eyelaser incident.
Charles, along with the other two, is traveling to Saga through dimensional portals. Along the way, he has had doubts. Before opening the door, he stops without hesitation.
Master: "Yeeees?"
Charles: "Comrades. Upon traveling through this gateway, I have had feelings that now is not the time to travel to the other planet. There are objectives that are yet to be completed on Nintendus before we move on."
Erwin: "Whatever. We still have to do something..."
Master: "Yes. Time is running out!"
Charles: "Understand that..even though our mission is clear, the preparations are not done. Erwin... or should I say... No. Not yet. Erwin, turn the door ahead of us to directly towards my chambers. I have something of usefulness for you."
Erwin: "Okay, then." *He taps the wand, and the door turns to a silver color.*
Charles stands there for a moment, takes in a deep breath... and enters Magellean Tower once more.
Metal Man (GM): Charles enters inside his personal room. Magellan Tower is operating normally... besides what sounds like a lot of alarms.
Computer: "Incoming Attack from Dr. Robotnik. Prepare for defense."
Master: "What? I'm not attacking you... who could that be?"
Erwin: "Didn't you defeat that idiot?"
Charles: "..." *looks to "Master" suspiciously.* "...What did you just call yourself... Robotnik."
Metal Man (GM): Master turns towards Charles, his completely shaded face still a mystery.
Master: "It's a last name."
Charles: "...A relative, perhaps?"
Master: "...Perhaps it is time I revealed to you... the truth."
Metal Man (GM): *Dramatic Mysterious cloak thingy throw into air thingy!*
Master: "I am... Dr. Ivan Robotnik."
Ivan: "And I seek to bring peace and order to this dimension!"
Charles: (gasp) "Answers... answers... Uhh... oh!"
Metal Man (GM): He looks similar to Robotnik, although his hair is much grayer, his face doesn't look as sinister, and there's a gleam of intelligence in his eye. His glasses are... rose colored.
Charles: "There is something about you that tells me you are not bluffing. Yet more answers are going to come from ...Ivo. Erwin, a change in the change."
Ivan: "That accursed fool! He will kill us all if we do not stop him. Metal Sonic was MY creation... and he steals the credit for it, right after permanently damaging its allegiance chips! Now all that's left is a psychopathic robot that resists all orders and seeks to kill us all. Do you notice a pattern? Ivo's 'Death Egg' was built to destroy planets. When he summoned Chaos... it was to destroy the world. Now... this time, there is a real threat."
Charles: "Enough, Sir 'Ivan.' What I've noticed is that since I created this place, I've been nothing but the target of death. anyway..' "Erwin, set your staff to the flagship and the bridge of that maniacal madman and let's settle this once and for all."
Erwin: "Okay..."
Metal Man (GM): Erwin taps the staff.
Charles: "I will not play with him anymore, nor will I tolerate his nonsense anymore!"
Ivan: "...You must be careful, Locos. We don't know what he's up to!"
Charles: "Other than destroy me, then no I do not."
Ivan: "You see... we aren't strong enough to defeat them yet."
Charles: "I don't care. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE ATTACKS!"
Ivan: "Very well. Perhaps it would be a good way to prove my theory."
Metal Man (GM): A door with the Eggman symbol on it appears.
Charles storms into the doorway. His pounding feet is enough to shake the tower... or at least his own room. "IIIIVVOOOO!" *storms onto the bridge.*
Metal Man (GM): Ivo is laughing to himself as he sets the course.
Ivo Robotnik: "...Oh... it's you. ...And Ivan."
Charles unsheathes his Frozen Hatred. He is now almost as angry as when he confronted Aribar last time. "...Answers... I WANT ANSWERS BEFORE I POUND THIS PLACE TO HELL!"
Ivo Robotnik: "Do you really think that weapon can hurt me?"
Metal Man (GM): Ivo walks right into range of Charles' Frozen Hatred.
Charles: "I swear, I will not hesitate to make you bleed vvveerryyy slowly... How are you related to this person beside me..."
Ivo Robotnik: "He's another of my renowned relatives. Too bad he hasn't done anything useful for the past 15 years! Now then. I'm afraid my ship is closed. Leave, before I destroy you!"
Metal Man (GM): Ivo pulls out the Egg Blaster.
Charles: "Very well... but lemme ask this... Erwin, activate the staff so we appear on the top of the tower. ...How did you like the X-Zone?"
Erwin: "Okay-dokey!"
Metal Man (GM): Erwin taps the staff... it don't work!
Erwin: "D'oh... it runs on a power source! We can't use it for a while!"
Charles begins to snicker... He then all of a sudden blows out in insane laughter. He begins speaking in blabberish and points in different directions. "He's says a power source... you have a relative... destroy for Robotnikland! Kill for emerald... white gloves... Smithy gang... VOID... Thirteen Gentlemen!!"
Ivo Robotnik: "What is the point of this rambling? I have work to do..."
Charles begins to hit himself on the head with his frozen hatred, and begins to lay the smackdown on his floor and some machines. "Ye-haeeehhh--ayyeahhh... ggruuurr... bbuttp!"
Metal Man (GM): A forcefield blocks Charles from hitting machines or the floor. Ivo looks to your two accomplices.
Ivo Robotnik: "Don't mind this, it's just to get this pest out of my hair."
Charles: "YEA... now he's got a forcey field!... ohhh happy days are back!! "
Metal Man (GM): Ivo opens fire on Locos.
Charles lies on the floor, with a wide grin on his face and hyperventilating.
Metal Man (GM): *BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.* Charles takes a ton of damage.
Charles: "WHOOO! That felt soo good!"
Ivan: -_-;; "Couldn't you have picked a better time to go insane?"
Charles feels very numb, but his teeth continue to chatter.
Metal Man (GM): Ivan starts dragging Locos away from the bridge and to a warp thing.
Ivan: "Sorry for the inconvenience, Ivo. He just wanted to prove he was capable of gibbering like a chimp."
Charles: "I feel cold as the cucumber to the monkey said to the Ralph while skiing on the Mt.s..."
Ivo Robotnik: "...Just get out of my ship!"
Metal Man (GM): Ivo turns to his controls again.
Charles: "NEVER! I'd sooner turn paler than the grease of the Void on the shields of the Eggman Empire than turn back whimpering to the unavoidable blast of a weak gun!"
Ivo Robotnik: "One problem."
Charles: "YES~!"
Metal Man (GM): Ivo points to the Magellan Tower.
Ivo Robotnik: "That place will be destroyed in 15 minutes."
Charles: "I LOVE YOUR PLANS!" *has swirls in his eyes, and tries to grab Ivo and shake him very hard whilst saying "SEEEAA CCCUMBERS!!"
Ivo Robotnik: "...No, we do not have sea cucumbers."
Charles lets go ... He sniffs around...
Ivan: "Have you had enough, Locos? I mean, how are you going to do anything to him?"
Charles: "...There it is!!!" *then picks up his hammer, and smashes open the windows to the outside.*
Metal Man (GM): *FORCE FIELD* The windows are protected. But they can be opened.
Charles opens one of them and puts away the the hammer. He points to Ivo. "You can take away my pride, and my shirt... BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THE SECRET!" *gleefully jumps out the window to fall a very long distance.*
Ivo Robotnik: "The secret of insanity?"
Charles: "Wwwaaa-hooo hoo hoo hooiiii!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles teh plummets to his doom.
Charles: "They say they wanted my death... No evil doctors to put up with... no super powerful hunters... No void... AND NO ZEEMMUUSS! I'm FFRRREEEE!"
Kefka: "Freedom is an illusion perpetrated by man."
Metal Man (GM): Something is obviously not right, if a circus-clown is talking to Charles.
Charles: "My final moments speaking with a person with makeup. How are you doing, Prince of crime? Hath the salmon migrated to the south yet?"
Kefka: "No, but Zemus has taken over your home world."
Charles: "All was dormant before... boo boo ca choo."
Kefka: "Oh... and you aren't dead. No. I'm only speaking to you now because you are unconscious."
Charles: "...Get out of my head..." *is slllloowwwly regaining... his normal insanity.*
Kefka: "Let's just say, you went crazy seconds before entering the warp to Saga. You discovered who Ivan Robotnik was, then got lost in an area on Saga..."
Charles: "...Nooo... nooo. I went back to Nintendus... ro... botnik is attacking. ...Who are you?"
Kefka: "I am Kefka, the 13 gentlemen's master of dreams."
Charles: "...Leave me alone... I am at peace."
Kefka: "No. You're lost inside Wacky Workbench. Luckily, I can almost hear Ivan following you from inside your head."
Metal Man (GM): Suddenly, Charles wakes up, on a rock in the middle of nowhere.
Charles: "...Oh dear lord, I hate that." *rubs his head.*
Ivan: "Locos? You... kind of lost me on your theory of electric octopus launches."
Charles shakes his head.
Ivan: "Then you ran off, raving and ranting about Ivo Robotnik when I told you who I was. ...Finally... you started yelling at a guy named Kefka."
Charles: "...Oh yeah. Now I remember." *stretches his neck out to recover awareness.*
Ivan: "Welcome to Wacky Workbench zone. Ivo abandoned it recently, but... there's still rubber and statues spread about."
Charles: "...Does this mean that we're on Saga?"
Ivan: "Yes, sir."
Charles clutches the back of his head. "Uhh... Doopliss... does you staff run on a power source?"
Erwin: "Let me check."
Metal Man (GM): He unscrews the cap, and out come TWENTY D-Cell batteries.
Charles gasps.
Metal Man (GM): ...They're made by 'Radiohut'
Charles: "Dear lord... not another illusion!"
Erwin: "Nah. The Doorman was just a cheapskate."
Charles: "This isn't right! I said your name aloud and you didn't even flinch!"
Erwin: "That's because I'm not copying you, nor are you gonna attack me."
Charles: "Right..." *gets out a checklist..* "I've been meaning to work on that little weakness." *puts it back.* "...Is Ivo attacking the tower as we speak?"
Erwin: "Let's see... yup. Though Smithy is fighting back."
Charles waves his hand and shakes his head. "No. I ain't gonna have a repeat of what happened the first time. You remember the last time I went insane, right?"
Erwin: "You mean 5 minutes ago?"
Ivan: "Anyway... now can we do something other than question your sanity?"
Charles: "To reach that point means I have to do make the objectives to be accomplished faster than even ahead of schedule. Now here's what we do. We all split into teams of 3. The three of us leave this place and go to the nearest town. While the other team searches the ruins." *sniffs some of his latest batch of Coca-cola.* "Let's all walk in a straight line side by side. But keeping at least 1 meter between the each of us."
Ivan: "Uhhh... okay..."
Charles: "What's the nearest town called anyway?"
Ivan: "Why, Station Square!"
Charles: *Crickets chirp.* "I... kinda heard that ...no... no wait... yeah..it's not gone... just forgotten. ...It's back. Let's go."
Metal Man (GM): Ivan nods, and heads towards Station Square. Charles, Ivan, and Erwin, er, Nehi, reach the Station Square. It's a bustling city, teeming with life.
Charles continues to read through a book called, "So you landed on a new planet and want to avoid making Enemies."
Ivan: "...Good. We've reached Station Square."
Nehi: "This place looks fun..."
Charles: "Whaddaya know... says here one of the key ideas is to remain a low profile."
Metal Man (GM): A guy wearing a weird suit comes up immediately and walks towards Charles.
???: "...Stay where you are! Keep your hands in the air!"
Ivan: "...I should have remembered... the police force of Station Square are very... overprotective."
Nehi: "What? We aren't here to bash up this town! Just looking for the Questers!"
Charles stops and closes his book. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and puts his hands somewhat in the air, but only a 1/4.
Metal Man (GM): ??? pulls out a gun and points it at the group. "...I said stay where you are!" It's turning out to be a scene. A few more of those men wearing navy blue uniforms come out with guns.
Charles: "Too bad. I actually thought we could get away with it." *drops the book on the ground.*
???: "You're surrounded! Surrender."
Nehi: "Should we fight them?"
Ivan: "We could run. It isn't that hard to outdistance a few pathetic police officers."
Charles: "You two will do as you please if you want to get into bigger trouble. I for one want to know what's going on."
???: "You have been charged in the theft of key technology. Robotnik stole a whole mess of stuff before destroying a building and flying away! Since you are obviously on the side of Robotnik, you must be detained before you can strike again!"
Ivan: "I stole nothing."
Nehi: "I've had enough of this. I'm taking out these sourpusses!"
Metal Man (GM): Before the officer can react, he's knocked over by an iceberg launched by Nehi.
Charles: "Though traveling with this man is indeed a questionable act, I will say that although I will comply... ...oh son of a <*#&@>."
Ivan: "...In that case, I know a good place to hide. Come!" Ivan begins running towards the city... while Nehi starts blasting officers with Melee Moves.
Nehi: "I'll take out these jerks!"
???3: "You are under arrest for--" *BANG* That officer is hit by a Falcon Punch and sent backwards on fire.
Metal Man (GM): Some gunfire is heard. Ivan is almost out of sight.
Charles just slowly follows Doopliss, just walking casually since he won't do anything else.
Metal Man (GM): Nehi facepalms. As Locos walks, bullets whiz around the air. A few police cruisers pop up and start firing at Charles. Nehi counter-attacks by Warlock Punching the police car barricade.
Charles is hit twice in the arm, chest, and knee. He clutches his wounds slightly, though his capability is shortened.
Metal Man (GM): *BAM* Police Car destroyed.
Charles has had enough.
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH* Police car is demolished. Some cops dive out of the way of the car.
Charles: "Commander Nehi: I won't tolerate any more of your damn joy busting! Stand down this instant."
Nehi: "...Okay, but... watch out!"
Metal Man (GM): He tackles Charles as a laser blows a crater in the area where he were standing. ...A helicopter with a laser turret on the bottom has arrived at the scene.
Charles: "Escape. These jerks cause me problems, I'll call for you. Till then, better damn stay outta sight."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi nods, then runs after where Ivan went, bullets and lasers blasting the area around him. The police turn to Charles with a megaphone.
Police-Megaphone: "Do you surrender?"
Charles spreads his arms apart and raises them in the air. "A rhetorical question if I have ever heard one."
Metal Man (GM): Some police nod and walk towards Charles slowly, using various debris as cover.
Policeman: "You are under arrest for technology theft!"
Charles: "I deny the charges."
Metal Man (GM): The Policemen are getting closer. Both Nehi and Ivan disappeared.
Policeman: "...You will still be arrested, then put on trial to determine the truth."
Charles smiles smugly. "I'd like to see you try."
Metal Man (GM): They raise all their fancy-schmancy guns at Charles again. There's a huge red targeting laser on Charles' forehead.
Policeman: "You have no choice. Put down your weapon, or we will make you put down your weapon!"
Charles looks several times to the pencil and the police. He drops it. "I see your suspicions about an ordinary pencil. Don't get so worked up, okay?"
Police: -_- "Now lay on the ground! Face-first! No moving!"
Charles smiles. He complies with the police officers, becoming a bit cocky.
Metal Man (GM): *Fast-forwardo.* Charles is on, of course, Prison island. Inside a normal prison cell, though--he's not bad enough to be put in the high-security one.
Charles sits on the bench. He sighs and looks to the bars.
Metal Man (GM): The bars are iron, and slightly rusted.
Charles: "Honestly, I get the damn worst luck out of all the Questers. First I'm deemed a traitor, then everyone and their uncle wants to kill me, and yet I'm here... on a new planet arrested."
???: "You think YOU have bad luck? Ever since that technology was stolen, they blamed ME for it! Are they blind?"
Charles: "Justice is blind. Especially when its corrupt. Who're you?"
Metal Man (GM): Some guy in the adjacent cell comes into view. It's...
Charles looks to where the voice comes from.
Metal Man (GM): It's... DR. DONEZ!
Charles: "Heh." *laughs softly.*
Metal Man (GM): A short little bird that's about 3 feet tall is in the other cell.
Dr. Donez: "They said I stole all sorts of technology and stuff. Unfortunately, they failed to realize that stealing their equipment was not in my plan!"
Charles chuckles and smiles.
Dr. Donez: "I was planning on taking all of the light bulbs out of the street lights instead. ...For my secret plan."
Charles: "For some kind of genius, that isn't at all smart."
Dr. Donez: "I'm sure you want out of this place... but first, what's your name?"
Charles: "I'm uhh..."
Dr. Donez: "Yes it is! It's a cheap and economical way to get light bulbs!"
Charles: .oO(Hmm... low profile... low profile...)
Dr. Donez: "I'm not made of money, unlike those weirdoes who called themselves Robotnik."
Charles: "...Larry. Larry Dimitry. I'm here cause the asses out there can't tell the difference between Ivo and his Uncle Ivan."
Dr. Donez: "Okay, Larry. Now, I've been waiting about a year for someone of your intelligence to be locked next to my cell."
Charles: "...Sounds like you planned out somethin'."
Dr. Donez: "You see, there exists a slight weakness which, two intelligent people together can exploit to defeat the pathetic and primitive security system."
Charles: "I'm listening..."
Dr. Donez: "The third bar from the left on the side that you are looking through is slightly weakened from somebody smashing into it. If two people kicked opposite sides at once, it would shatter! Of course, that wouldn't accomplish much... except..."
Charles: "...You can kick. I'd like to see that."
Dr. Donez: "...Well, it isn't as much kick as throw my entire body into it. Anyway, using the broken bar, we can press the buttons on that console across from our cells. I spied upon an idiot entering the code to open the cells when he put you in your cell. Thus free, we have to negotiate a long, grueling path filled with guards, traps, and... spike pits."
Charles: "Hmm..."
Dr. Donez: "However, my plan to escape these dingy cells is almost foolproof."
Charles: "It might work if only a fool wasn't not watching our every move, bird. Now then, let's see iff ehh..."
Dr. Donez: "Oh, yes. Well, I have agreed to give him 500 Pez containers if he ignores that we've escaped."
Guard: "Yeah! 500 pez heads! Just enough to complete my collection!"
Charles: "...you're kidding..."
Dr. Donez: "No. They don't pay their guards very well. Most of them are not here by choice."
Charles: "Such a waste of time."
Dr. Donez: "Now then. We have exactly 15 minutes until they rotate the guards. Unless I wish to give away the other half of my secret Pez hoard, we should get started."
Charles: "I'm in. just give the count so we can get out of this hellhole and get back what those station square pigs took from me."
Dr. Donez: "We kick the bar in... 3. 2. 1. BANZAIII!!!" *Leaps up at the top of the bar.*
Charles lifts his foot and smacks the bar.
Metal Man (GM): ...Dr. Donez almost breaks it completely by himself. ... *SNAP!* The bar comes undone from the ceiling and floor. Charles now has an iron pole.
Dr. Donez: "I would have the guard let us free, but he demanded too many Pez containers."
Charles picks up the new iron pole.
Dr. Donez: "Seeing as you have hands, please enter the following code. 1. 3. 3. 7. 5. 0. 3. 5."
Charles tries his best to carefully press the combination.
Metal Man (GM): Charles' door opens. Dr. Donez comes out with Charles by squeezing in between the hole.
Dr. Donez: "Now, we do the hard part."
Charles drops the iron bar and walks out the cell. He stretches.
Dr. Donez: "This entire base is surrounded by water. And the way out is boobytrapped worse than Bowser's castle!"
Guard: "..." .oO(Weirdoes. Better off not having them here.)
Charles: "Hard or easy, if it gets us out, then I ain't bitchin'."
Dr. Donez: "Follow me." He walks towards the exit. "...Oh no. Not another locked door."
Metal Man (GM): The door out is locked by a keypad.
Charles: "Oh great. What now genius?"
Dr. Donez: "The code is 8 numbers long for each door... There could be 100,000,000 different possible combinations!"
Charles cracks his knuckles. "No sweat, little hopper. This can be cracked in a matter of pressing the following numbers..." *walks to the key pad and bends over a little.*
Metal Man (GM): It's got the numbers 0-9 on it, as well as an enter key.
Guard: "Not even I know the master code!"
Charles: "First, we guess the first number... and I'm thinking that it's a prime number."
Metal Man (GM): The guard acts like it's some sort of sacred number.
Charles: "I'll remember that emphasis, right after ..." *presses in 2.*
Metal Man (GM): The 2 appears.
Charles: "Followed by... 3. 6. 7. 5. 3. 0. 9."
Dr. Donez: "Remember, it only confirms after you've entered the entire code."
Charles presses enter. "Pshh, nothin' to it."
Metal Man (GM): The thing beeps. 'Incorrect password.'
Charles punches the keypad real hard.
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH.* The door opens. What poorly put together security!
Charles clutches his hand.
Metal Man (GM): No wonder Eggman broke into here so easily...
Charles shakes it a bit. "Like I said, nothin' to it."
Metal Man (GM): Up ahead is a silver hallway.
Dr. Donez: "You remind me of Fred... Now, let's hurry... oh yes... the hallway ahead is trapped."
Charles: "And you remind me of a 3 foot tall bird. Named Mr. Donez."
Dr. Donez: "There's pressure plates, laser security cameras, and... spike pits. ...This is no time for talking. How are we supposed to get across that pathway?"
Charles: "We ask the nearest expendable being to either tell us what to do or literally show us the way past the traps."
Dr. Donez: "We have 3 minutes until the guard comes in."
Charles: "Sadly, I personally believe people stupid enough to agree to it should die."
Dr. Donez: "By the way, do you have any throwable objects on you?"
Charles: "Well..." *picks up Dr. Donez.*
Dr. Donez: "Hey! Hey! Stop acting like Mario! I want to get out of here in one piece, you crazy person!"
Charles: "Don't worry. I got the perfect way to transperse this place." *has Donez by his side, not over his head by the way. He looks to the guard.*
Dr. Donez: "It better not involve me being lasered to death by security cameras!"
Metal Man (GM): The Guard looks at Charles strangely.
Charles: "No... something FAR worse."
Guard: "...I don't want nothing to do with you whackos!"
Charles: "You: get out the accordion."
Guard: "I don't have an accordion!"
Charles: "You can impersonate one, right? I can tell by the way you wear your hat."
Guard: "...Uhhh... kinda. But you have to pay me Pez first! 300 more Pez heads or nothing."
Dr. Donez: "I'm not paying him that much to pretend he's an accordian!"
Charles whispers, "I'll pay you back."
Dr. Donez: "...Okay. You can have all my Pez containers." .oO(This better be worth it.)
Guard: "Now then, what am I supposed to do?"
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez throws the guard a bag of Pez containers.
Charles: "Play a polka song. I'll handle the rest."
Guard: "Umm... okay..."
Charles: "Just so you know... this may look insane..."
Guard: "So, I square Dance with myself?"
Dr. Donez: "The guard is coming! ...You might want to hurry up your insane plan..."
Charles: "You impersonate the band, I'll do the rest with my partner."
Guard: "...Okaaaay... I guess it's worth the priceless Pez containers."
Metal Man (GM): The guard starts making some weird noises in an attempt to sound like a square dancing theme thing.
Charles: "This tune, from when I learned back when I was a teenager, although seemed unorthodox, really helped past... bogus traps." *starts a little singing and rhyming...* "Laser on the walls, traps on the floor, but I'll promise I'll not be slow. One..two... three and four... hang on tight cause I'm not sllloooww!"
Dr. Donez: "What am I supposed to do?"
Charles: "Two steps forward, one step back, hang on tweeter to my back..."
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez sighs and starts dancing as the new guard walks in drinking a soda.
Guard2: "How's it going Tony... looks like you broke the door... what the?"
Metal Man (GM): The Guard2 drops his soda on the floor.
Charles: "Steps to the left, steps to the right, hang on Donez, hang on tiiighht!!"
Guard2: "...Why are two prisoners square dancing in the middle of the prison? And why are you making noises like some sort of instrument that's been run over?"
Metal Man (GM): The guard2 scratches his chin.
Guard2: "...Let me guess... this is for when I forgot to get you doughnuts yesterday... This is... sseriously creeping me out."
Metal Man (GM): Guard2 pulls out a radio.
Guard2: "If you don't stop immediately, I'm telling the guys up in security about this!"
Charles: "Perominate up in the air, go to the left like you don't care, dodge that laser, avoid that mine, looks like we'll get out right on tiiimme!"
Metal Man (GM): He calls the radio. The alarms start going off like mad.
Guard2: "Now then, stop thaaat! It's getting annoying!"
Metal Man (GM): Guard2 pulls out his gun.
Charles: "Up the wall, jump a spike, get on Donez and hold on tight, cause we'll almost halfway there, and just make sure you don't grab hhaaaiir!"
Dr. Donez: "...Could you remind me what the point of this is again? Unless you're going to ride me across that ocean of traps..."
Guard2: "...Hey you! Come back here!"
Charles: "Polka left, make a sharp turn, crawl on the floor just like a worm, don't care if you even squirm, just make sure to live and leearrnn! And this is the part that gets tricky..."
Metal Man (GM): He goes to press the button to turn on the hallway traps, only to get hit in the back of the head by 'Tony'.
Tony: "You guys! You can flee now! I'll say that you knocked out that guy."
Charles pulls out two wall tiles, one for him and one for Donez.
Dr. Donez: "So... we're supposed to use these wall tiles as shields?"
Charles: "We still need you to play in case more guards come... No, we use them to whack people."
Metal Man (GM): Tony sighs and follows Charles. *Party join sound.* 'Dr. Donez and 'Tony' have temporarily joined your party!'
Dr. Donez: "Oh no, not another party! I don't have enough noisemakers on hand!"
Charles looks to the devastated hallway.
Metal Man (GM): The coast is clear. The group reaches the end of the hallway. There's a secure station here where 3 other paths meet.
Charles: "I can't believe that worked..."
Metal Man (GM): There's an elevator up there, but about 7 guards are there with swat gear.
Charles: "Are the people up ahead half-idiots?"
Dr. Donez: "They are only half-idiots, yes. Those people usually come out to kill escaped prisoners. ...So if they spot us, we have to either run or defeat them."
Charles: "Let's use a path... which way to the armory?"
Dr. Donez: "3 stories above us. And... we'd have to get into that booth to continue in any fashion. Unless you're part mole."
Tony: "Uhh... yeah... we need to get past those guards and take over the elevator. The alarms don't help our escape much, either."
Metal Man (GM): The door to the booth opens. 2 of the SWAT Guards are coming towards the group.
Charles: "Now I can assure you two that we are just taking a stroll."
SWAT1: "Open fire!"
Charles: "The security guard here is escorting us to the armory to... make sure all our weapons are fully confiscated?"
SWAT2: "..."
SWAT1: "We aren't idiots. Either run back to your cells or die!"
Metal Man (GM): SWAT2 opens fire on Charles and hits him.
Charles flicks a wall tile away to Tony. "Too bad, so sad. This is where we say good night." *flicks a wall tile into the air, where it lands he doesn't care. Gives a punch, followed by a heavy right, to swat one.*
Metal Man (GM): Hit. Charles socks his mask... probably breaking his nose.
Charles catches the wall tile. He follows up with a flowing arc to the head of the swat 1 with the tile then goes to grab.
Metal Man (GM): *MISS* The guards can't counter-attack, luckily.
Dr. Donez: "Even without the Icepick. I am a fearsome combatant."
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez leaps at SWAT 1. *SMACK.* Then he bites the guy in the ankle. Aaaand misses.
SWAT 1: "Leave me alone, rabid bird!"
Metal Man (GM): SWAT 1 sprays bullets at Dr. Donez. 2 hits.
Dr. Donez: "Ow! Your pathetic bullets will not defeat me! I've eaten more than 10,000% my daily allotment of unhurtium already!"
Metal Man (GM): The other SWAT fires at Locos. Ummm... one hit.
Tony: "You guys don't pay me enough... I think I'll join in on the fun!"
SWAT 1: "...Not another idiot."
Metal Man (GM): Tony shoots at SWAT 1. BAM BAM. SWAT 1 falls over, dead.
Charles: "I came to answer for 'Eggman's' crimes, but seeing as how I have a tight schedule, I'll have to answer your questions later, capisce?"
Metal Man (GM): Tony then fires at the other SWAT guard. BAM BAM BAM.
Charles: "...OH shoot. ..." *checks to swat 1.*
Tony: "Eh... it was either him or us."
Charles: "Is ...he... Not more blood... Fine..."
Metal Man (GM): He's pretty much dead from all those bullets, punched out face, and being rammed in the chest.
Charles: "May he rest in peace..."
Metal Man (GM): SWAT 2 looks like he's gonna shoot at Charles.
Charles looks to swat 2...
SWAT 2: "I don't care WHAT explanation you have for escaping your cells. You must all be killed before the Mayor hears of this!"
Charles gave a very swift, out of nowhere Boot to the Head.
Metal Man (GM): He's looking kinda dazed now.
Charles: "Then this will be for self-defense. I help Ivan Robotnik... the Uncle of Dr. Eggman. Not Ivo himself."
SWAT 2: "You're just like that... Sonic guy..."
Charles attempts to grab the dazed guy.
SWAT 2: "All over the place..."
Metal Man (GM): *CRIT.*
Charles: "May you too rest in peace."
Metal Man (GM): There's a nice looking window that goes inside the booth where the elevator is.
Charles left fist shakes. It becomes glowing with white energy. He hits the dazed man heavily.
Metal Man (GM): Somehow Charles drops the man and blasts the wall. Dr. Donez tries to hit the man.
Charles: "There... I did not kill."
Metal Man (GM): ...The wall is looking bad. Tony shoots at the guard. 2 hits. That man is KO'd by all the fire.
Tony: "Eh... won't need to kill him. I guess."
Charles: "Let's get the hell out of here."
Dr. Donez: "To the elevator!"
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez runs forward... straight into another locked door. With a keypad.
Dr. Donez: "Not another one! This is the ultimate fortress of suburbia!"
Charles wipes off some blood from his lips. "Hmm. Try 0 3 6 7 5 3 0 9."
Metal Man (GM): Tony tries that... and gets another 'incorrect password' thing.
Tony: "...I'll just do what you did."
Charles: "...Ow." *hand turns numb from trying to punch it.*
Metal Man (GM): Tony shoots it after Charles tried to punch it. BAM. The door opens.
Charles: "You two get in first."
Metal Man (GM): Tony nods, and he and Dr. Donez walk inside. Tony shoots out another password thing to open the elevator.
Charles then quickly walks inside, almost turning into it.
Tony: "Ok... we're on floor -6. We're going to floor -3."
Charles: "It's time to get back to my chair."
Metal Man (GM): The elevator goes up with you as alarms go off.
Charles: "It's time to tell you who I really am."
Metal Man (GM): As you go by floors -5 and -4, bemused guards look at Charles strangely through the glass walls.
Charles: "I'm not Larry Dimitry, as I can no longer keep a low profile. Locos Docos... aka Charles L. Magellean of Nintendus. Have you heard of me?"
Dr. Donez: "...Well isn't that great. I have, in World Domination Monthly."
Charles gulps loudly.
Metal Man (GM): The elevator reaches floor -3. It opens. The area is empty.
Charles: "So then... my reputation has spread to even other planets... Just know that I keep a defensive military. So much misunderstanding." He walks out of the elevator.
Metal Man (GM): The armory is dead ahead. It's full of deactivated robots.
Dr. Donez: "Perfect! An army of robots! Charles, may I steal this army of robots?"
Charles: "You probably don't recognize me since I'm not in my favorite 'rocking-like rocket' chair." *sigh.* "Do as you please... like everyone else."
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez chuckles and starts hacking the robots.
Charles: "If you can work fast, then be my guest."
Metal Man (GM): Donez is quickly hacking the robots.
Tony: "Okay, you need your weapons, right?"
Metal Man (GM): Tony breaks open a crate labeled 'EVIDENCE' in red letters.
Charles: "I need what they confiscated from me."
Metal Man (GM): Everything that was confiscated from Charles falls out. Dr. Donez turns to see the stuff.
Charles: "Holy crap! There it is!"
Dr. Donez: "Excellent. With my icepick, we shall be unstoppable!"
Charles picks up his Frozen Hatred.
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez picks up the icepick and sticks it in his... icepick sticking place.
Charles: "I feel more intimidating again." :) "...My chair!" *presses the button on the box.*
Metal Man (GM): It opens up into Charles' chair.
Charles sheathes his hammer and begins to sit in his chair again. He has to wiggle a few moments since he hasn't sat in it. "EHH HEH HEH HEH HA HA HA.!"
Dr. Donez: "Now we have a killer robot attack force on our side."
Charles contacts on his side computer.
Dr. Donez: "They've been programmed to open the way to the exit using their traditional keypasses. All who resist will be stunned by stun blasts."
Charles: "Excellent. Commander Erwin, I have been imprisoned upon Prison Island. I have now broken out with help. Will need backup on the entrance guardways."
Erwin: "You've already gotten your chair back?"
Charles: "Chair and hammer in tow. Now come!"
Erwin: "We've been waiting out at the entrance. Ivan showed me this neat weapon."
Charles: "Acknowledged." *turns his computer off.*
Charles activates some machineguns on the side of his chair. "Now let's show them what it feels like to wrongfully imprison Charles L. Magellean!" *laughs with a cackle again.* "Tony, get us of the way out of here!"
Tony: "Aye."
Metal Man (GM): Tony leads the way, Dr. Donez and robots and stuff following. Alarms are blazing. Charles is almost out of the prison itself. The robots make short work of anyone who comes in the way.
Dr. Donez: "...We're almost out..."
Charles sips a bottle of Coca-cola from a vending machine. He has his head resting on his other hand.
Tony: "Yeah... one last problem, sir... Uhhhh... this is an island."
Charles: *burp.* "We planned ahead."
Metal Man (GM): The group reaches a huge, locked door. There's a 50 foot tall titanium door. The wall around it is manned by guards, enemy robots... And one thing that flies out of the air: A huge mecha. Codename: RocketFist. It's flanked by 2 laser helicopters.
Pilot: "You will be destroyed for the atrocities you have done!"
Charles laughs.
Dr. Donez: "...As much as the situation would probably require my help, I'm afraid we will have to split up. You, take out the mecha, while I take on the helicopters and the door. If we concentrated on destroying the mecha, they would surely have enough time to send more reinforcements."
Charles pushes down the lever on the left his chair.
Metal Man (GM): Dr. Donez and the robots attack the wall and the helicopters.
Pilot: "This is our latest technology. You have no chance of winning! Not even Sonic could defeat me!"
Charles: "You overestimate." *hops out of his chair after shrugging. Frozen Hatred extends so he pulls it out from his back-carrying case. He shifts into two, disappears, and comes up from behind Rocketfist to deliver two large swings.*
Metal Man (GM): Charles hits the slow mecha in the shin.
Charles: "I don't need my uber-chair to take care of your toy!"
Pilo: "You can't defeat us. We have many more of these!"
Metal Man (GM): *In the background, Dr. Donez blasts a helicopter into the wall using the Ice Pick Attack.*
Charles then doth somersault into the air backwards to the ground. He leans back, and jumps forward, right leg first into the cockpit.
Metal Man (GM): MISS. The mecha does counter, by trying to kick Charles with its over-sized feet. ...And misses by a similar margin.
Charles and the Boot to the 'head' beth blocked, by the kick of Rocketfist's own. Locos pushes forward a bit, then lands back on to his feet. He goes after the leg that's on the ground with a regular then Heavy punch.
Metal Man (GM): ...Charles barely misses, but no counter attack. The Mecha opens fire on Charles using its highly advanced minigun.
Charles tries to jump backward, and is attacked by many shots. He feels pain by being hit by almost all of them.
Metal Man (GM): The miniature bullets sting more than anything else. Though they're semi-accurate.
Charles crouches over with his hand on the ground. He catches some air then goes running and leaping forward to the cockpit.
Metal Man (GM): Aaand Charles misses, but not enough for a counter attack. The mecha moves out of the way and tries to punch Charles twice. *SMACK SMACK*
Pilot: "See the power of G.U.N. technology!"
Metal Man (GM): Then it tries to kick Charles again. OUCH. It punts Charles backwards into a wall.
Charles is hit dead on by both fists. The force sends him almost crashing into the ground several times. The kick then sends him into the wall...
Metal Man (GM): Charles hears an explosion at the wall, then blacks out from the violent explosion he apparently just hit, Charles: K.O.'d.
Charles: "...Cu... rse..you... bas..tard..." *He falls unconscious while at prison island.*
Metal Man (GM): *Fastforward.* Charles wakes up... in some sort of lab. In a chair. Bandaged.

Metal Man (GM): The first thing Charles sees is some sort of blue plane.
Dr. Donez: "You took quite a kick there. If we hadn't have gotten to you, you could have died!"
Charles struggles to open his eyes at first..then opens them to see the plane. "...ooooonnnhhhhh..."
Metal Man (GM): Charles sees both Donez and... a fox with two tails.
Charles: "I'...m... seeing things..."
Tails: "Ivan Robotnik told me what happened shortly before you reached the gate. I came in and blasted them the minute they thought they'd defeated you. That obsolete mecha fell apart in seconds!"
Charles chuckles slightly. He then groans in pain.
Dr. Donez: "...With the help of Tails here, we escaped to here. His lab in the Mystic Ruins."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi comes out.
Nehi: "Those Station Square Police were foolish for taking you there. While they did that, Ivan and I looted their stuff."
Charles: "You always were a mechanical genius...?"
Tails: "...Uh, yes!"
Ivan: "Now then... could you remind me what you wanted to do here on Saga?"
Charles: "...That's right... our point to being here."
Nehi: "Uh... yeah. We kinda forgot that in between stealing Police stuff and shooting those evil G.U.N. agents."
Charles: "They're not evil, Nehi. Just really militaristic. The first is to repair that necklace, remember?"
Nehi: "Oh, yes! Yeah..."
Ivan: "Hmmm?"
Charles: "Show them."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi pulls out a cracked necklace, which has a tag that says 'property of Bowser.'
Dr. Donez: "I can't believe it... Bowser actually had necklaces that gave him super powers!"
Tails: "I may not know who Bowser is, but fixing that shouldn't be a problem."
Ivan: "...It appears to be a database that imparts magical abilities into the wearer. Someone broke the transfer system."
Charles: "In a way yes. That necklace gave him abilities equal to that of all the other Smashers combined." *tries to get up a bit.*
Tails: "Well. We can fix it up right now."
Charles: *crack.* "..." O_O *lies back down.*
Dr. Donez: "...Maybe it was predestined that you would assemble the scientific community to do this..."
Nehi: "Oh, yeah, bub. Don't try walking too much, your bones aren't exactly in the best shape."
Charles: "Stand back, Nehi. There's no need."
Nehi: "Unlike the robust Mobian or Subconian body structure, humans seem get injured easily..."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi backs up.
Nehi: "I wouldn't know, being an ethereal entity."
Metal Man (GM): The other scientists and such seem to be busy fixing the necklace.
Nehi: "Okay... what other things did you have in mind for Saga?"
Charles: "Find the acclaimed captain of the Questers. That's our immediate priority after this necklace."
Nehi: "Hmm... that'll be trickier."
Charles snorts and smiles.
Nehi: "Well, since Ivan can't fight much anyway, why don't we start looking?"
Charles: "Because you're a hothead and I'm a mummy right now."
Nehi: "There's a strange spot that I think the Questers were at recently. Oh yeah. That. Well... that can be solved."
Charles: "First, you think busting out Prison Island and square dancing past booby-trapped hallways was easy?"
Nehi: "No, but I know what's worse."
Charles: "...You having good advice?" *laughs.*
Nehi: "...Tails said there's a bunch of satellites re-aligning to destroy Nintendus!"
Charles slowly turns into a groan.
Nehi: "If we don't alert the Questers... in about a month, these satellites will blast everything."
Charles: "As if we don't have enough to deal with."
Metal Man (GM): Charles hears a vase moving behind Nehi.
Charles: "Nehi... two things..."
Metal Man (GM): It stops quickly, as if someone grabbed it to stop it.
Charles: "One, you know of any 'super-powers' here on this planet? I'd love to avoid running into more trouble."
Nehi: "Well, we found Tails, he's one of them."
Charles: "...organizations then?"
Nehi: "He got the mayor to cover up that earlier fiasco and make the police force leave us alone."
Charles breathes relief.
Metal Man (GM): Locos hear something like a camera going off. ...Then that vase wobbles again.
Charles: "Nehi."
Nehi: "Yes?"
Charles: "Fetch." *weakly points in front of him.*
Metal Man (GM): Nehi sees the vase and grabs it. Something else materializes as he does that.
Charles: "We aren't... alone."
Metal Man (GM): ...It's Charles!
Charles: "...This is highly unorthodox."
Nehi: "...What?"
Charles: "Nehi. Destroy that impostor!"
Nehi: "...But... but why were you hiding if you're the real Locos?"
Charles: "DON'T QUESTION MY ORDERS!! And don't yell at him."
Metal Man (GM): The voice sounds vaguely digital.
Charles: "Silence, Impostor. You will be dealt with soon." *slowly gets up this time.* "There is no time. The satellites must be fired on schedule."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi looks back and forth, looking confused. The fake Locos pulls out frozen hatred.
Charles: "Pssh. I don't need to put with 'who's the real me.' Sit down, or I'll make you sit down! ..." o_O "... none..."
Metal Man (GM): Charles also has Frozen Hatred. What the?
Charles begins to rip apart his bandages. "There is no time. I must contact the Questers. ...order..."
Metal Man (GM): Charles pulls out a... smash dex.
Nehi: "..."
Charles: "...the real one."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi turns around and snatches the smash dex from the fake Charles.
Charles: "Give that back. It's mine!"
Nehi: "No chance, Slick. I'm the only identity thief here!"
Charles stands up ready to give a smackdown. "Nehi, you know what to do."
Charles: "A little anger and I can recover faster than a clone of mine can move!"
Metal Man (GM): *SMBRPG: Culex Battle.*
Charles: "Surrender, inferior and obsolete replica!"
Charles: "You will show your inferiority immediately! Imposters or no, you want to kill me, so I kill ya back!"
Charles: "You'll only kill yourself."
Charles leaps forward with ferocity to give the smackdown with two hammer swipes.
Metal Man (GM): Hit.
Charles: "You will suffer!" *puts the hammer back into his back sheathe and gives him 2 lessons of pain. One regular punch followed by a heavy one.* "This won't end well."
Metal Man (GM): He dodges easily, then gives Charles a super-smack to the noggin. He misses horribly, smashing a wall in. Counter-counter.
Charles: "This form is inferior. But It is a start. Rat-fink! Have you the readiness for this??" "I am ready for anything, booger!" *runs to the front side of ...Charles... and grabs him by the throat.*
Metal Man (GM): Charles barely misses. He moves to the side smoothly, then bonks Charles on the head with Frozen Hatred. BONK. Then, he follows that up with another powerful punch. *SMACK.*
Charles: "Whhooooo! that felt col..." *THWACK.*
Charles skids backwards into a wall... again.
Metal Man (GM): With an evil smile on his face, he runs at Charles with a flying kick.
Charles: "...Oh dear god... not the boot to the..."
Metal Man (GM): *SMACK!* He bounces off Charles' head, then tries to grab him.
Charles falls forward.
Metal Man (GM): *GRAB* *BONK* Then, he follows that up with another heavy punch. *SLAM* More damage. *Charles has defeated himself!!!!*
Nehi: "Hey, you, bum! Stop that! I'll teach you for being the second person to punch out my buddy!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles falls to the floor, too weak to move. But he can see Nehi fighting the fake Charles.
Nehi: "SWORD'S DANCE OMEGA!"
Metal Man (GM): Two hits. The Charles Clone tries to punch Nehi. *POW* Well, there goes another hole in the wall.
Nehi: "RED FIREBALL!"
Metal Man (GM): Two Fireballs hit the phoney Charles.
Charles: "You... you can't defeat me!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles's eyes turn green and a camera flash effect goes off again...
Charles: "System error... unable to copy a copy of a copy."
Nehi: "...Shut up, you hunk of junk! ICE SHOT!"
Charles: .oO(I now know who it is!)
Metal Man (GM): It fails, hitting the wall. The fake Charles tries to boot Nehi to the head. HIT. Nehi is relatively unphased.
Nehi: "You'll have to try harder to defeat me!"
Charles: "I will certainly do that, faker!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles then tries to punch him again. ...He gets his fist stuck in the wall.
Charles: "..." Charles tries to speak but... the wounds he took were just too much for his now battered body. "Curse this clumsy body!"
Metal Man (GM): Nehi launches 4 more red fireballs at the clone. BAM BAM BAM. Then he finishes it off with another Ice Shot. It misses.
Charles: "..."
Metal Man (GM): The clone starts walking backwards, away from Nehi.
Charles: "Must not compromise integrity of data. Maximum damage threshold is too close."
Metal Man (GM): Charles then... melts into a pool of silver goo and goes down a drain.
Nehi: "Come back here, coward!"
Metal Man (GM): He then turns to Charles, who has once again been defeated by an enemy.
Charles: "..."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi sighs, then once again uses some sort of healing potion on you to restore you to full health.
Nehi: "That loser wasn't human for sure... He almost was a challenge... if he hadn't been so afraid of losing data. What the heck is he up to? And who is that thing!"
Charles stands up. He dusts himself off. "Camera flashes... Something's digital about him... My guess is judging by the satellites... It's an animatron morpher... created by either the Quester Hunters or Ivo."
Nehi: "I see... though it's inferior to me."
Charles: "Or perhaps you were just fortunate to be able to dodge. It seems like this new foe can be a doppelganger like you... but be able to outperform the original."
Metal Man (GM): Ivan comes in with the newly finished necklace.
Ivan: "...We fixed the necklace... what happened here?"
Metal Man (GM): Ivan looks at all the holes in the walls and scratches his head.
Charles: "Probably a new creation by either the hunters or your nephew. ...The three of you are terrific." *says that after looking at the necklace.*
Ivan: "...I see... well. This necklace gives Nehi the power of all the melee moves."
Charles: "I know too well what that necklace can do. It's yours now, Erwin."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi puts it on, and a sort of aura appears for a few seconds.
Nehi: "Perfect... neither Aribar nor Mario can defeat me now! I mean... yes. Terrific."
Charles: "One of our objectives is complete. All that remains... is Yurie. We were lucky to get this necklace repaired. Finding the female won't be as easy.
Metal Man (GM): Charles has recovered from his -second- beating. This has all become tiring, of course. It's no fun when everyone, including yourself, beats you up when they meet you. However... there's a way to fix that. Some sort of legendary thingamabob hiding on Saga. Charles is at Tails' lab. Nehi is there, and Charles is outside. Nehi has a book detailing this thing.
Charles gives Doopliss the most suspicious of looks.
Nehi: "Locos, I've been researching this thing that could make you a lot tougher than you have been recently, without any chairs! The only problem is that it's hidden in some place called the Special Zone... No, it isn't those chaos emeralds. This 'Special Zone' is host to more than the generic gems of power."
Charles: "It's host to some fine wine?"
Nehi: "...Well... it could be... some sort of lost civilization created it to store objects of great power."
Charles: "Whole ancients thing; do you know how many times that has been attempted?"
Nehi: "Sure, but they didn't have Tails' book! All it takes is 50 artifacts called 'rings' and a gateway."
Charles: "And here I thought that too was only a myth based on the dreams of Earth."
Nehi: "Well... we already got the 50 rings. I borrowed them from Tails. In exchange, I gave him confidential data on the Quester Hunters. And there's a portal in that cave down there!" *He points down some steps, at the bottom of the small hill, a cave.*
Charles: "Let's start soon. I'd rather not have healthy beatings on me 2-3 times a day."
Metal Man (GM): Nehi starts walking down the steps.
Nehi: "One last thing... the special zone is currently occupied somewhat, so we'll have to navigate some. And you'll have to go in alone."
Charles sets up his chair and sits in it. He has his hammer in the slot on his back.
Metal Man (GM): Nehi reaches the portal... some sort of weird pedestal. He sticks the rings in, it glows, and a blue portal opens.
Nehi: "There you go. I'll wait for you to return; it'll be instantaneous for me."
Charles: "Where did you get the...?"
Nehi: "I just said, Tails gave them to me in exchange for data on the Quester Hunters."
Charles: .oO(A zone perhaps? Ah well.)
Metal Man (GM): The blue portal sits there, occasionally crackling with electricity.
Charles transforms the chair to a more versatile mode, capable of coasting and autopilot, but only access to one flamethrower. Locos, with his chair bobbing up and down, enters the portal (slow, FMV style).
Metal Man (GM): With a quick flash, Charles appears inside some sort of technological wonderland. Crazy, carnivalesque colors and signs and floor tiles glow. It's kind of like being inside a rainbow. There's only one door. Forward. The knob is pure blue, and wide enough to move the chair through.
Charles switches to second gear and begins flooring on the sucker. He then tries to blast feet first through the doorway.
Metal Man (GM): The door crumbles away, revealing a large, wide room... with a throne. And who else but E Li Three sitting atop it?
E Li Three: "So, we meet again. What a strange place to meet you."
Charles: "..."
E Li Three: "I just happened to have expanded into this realm when those emeralds were taken away. You seek power and knowledge, do you not?"
Charles: "Yes. I seek a thing that will help me from being whupped by every antagonist I meet with."
E Li Three: "You have come to the right place. With my magical powers, I can grant you the power of the Questers. I can make your weapon a tool of destruction. However... there is one price. You must prove yourself worthy of such! And what better than a test? Several tests? A TEST TO PROVE!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): E Li Three chuckles, and a green door appears in the floor. 'Da Test' is written on it.
Charles backs off a bit by surprise.
Metal Man (GM): It's unlocked, and could be blasted open.
E Li Three: "Depending upon how much of 'Da Test' you pass, you shall get more of what you want."
Charles waves his finger, and smiles.
E Li Three: "There are no penalties for failure. Since this realm forces me to be nice."
Charles: "And yet... It doesn't mean you can't be...'unique' in your way of testing."
E Li Three: "Indeed!"
Charles deactivates his chair and puts it in his pocket. He then approaches the door. He stares into E Li Three's eyes and looks back to the door. He goes to walk through it.
Metal Man (GM): Charles falls through a whole lotta white space... then land in a field. A green field. Charles is unarmed for this test. A pedestal appears with five objects. A gun, a knife, a sword, a grenade, and... a banana. Something is written on it.
Metal Man (GM): 'Choose the weapon to fight the foe with.'
Charles quizzically looks around to see where a foe could be.
Metal Man (GM): There is no foe. Only weapons.
Charles: "The weapon... Hmm..."
Metal Man (GM): The jeopardy theme goes on in the background.
Charles goes to grab the banana... assuming the sick mind of his tester gives him a monkey as an opponent.
Metal Man (GM): *BZAP* Charles picks up the banana... and a foe appears. It is... a Towering Monolith of Steel. ...It snatches the banana, eats it, then suddenly dies from eating the banana. *DING* Test 1: Passed. Revenge of the Poison Banana.
Charles: "...To pass your tests..."
E Li Three: "I see you remembered the deadliness of bananas in my tests. With any of the other weapons you would have been slaughtered."
Charles: "...I'll need to use all my skills I learned back on my homeworld. Actually, I has assume that knowing you, you would've made me face a primate."
Metal Man (GM): *BZAP* Charles is in a new arena. The edge of a volcano. There's a huge sign on the other end that says 'GO HERE TO COMPLETE TEST 2.' But... but! There's 5 bridges, and no way to walk across. Bridge 1: Rickety wooden bridge. Bridge 2: Floating Metal Bars. Bridge 3: ...Some sort of flying Semi Truck?
Charles inspects the the bridges..
Metal Man (GM): Bridge 4: A bridge made of dynamite. Bridge 5: A bridge much like the Golden Gate bridge. Once again, Charles gets to choose the bridge.
Charles: "You have ...such a plan. The rickety bridge would break as soon as pressure is applied. The metal bars would fall upon being touched. The dynamite can explode at any moment... and the bridge of 'gold' just screams 'I'm a wrong answer'." *takes the flying semi-truck.*
Metal Man (GM): The flying semi truck turns out to be a hologram. Wheeeeeee!!! Lava!!!!
Charles: "Waaahhhhh hooo hoo hooooiiiii!"
Metal Man (GM): ...Luckily, the Lava is also a hologram. Charles lands on a platform.
E Li Three: "Actually, this was the inverse of the other test."
Charles puts his head down in shame. "The goal was in itself a lie?"
E Li Three: "Avoid out-of-place things, for they signify danger, when it comes to environmental objects. The rickety bridge was the only thing that belonged near a volcano."
Charles: "You are truly an excellent tester."
E Li Three: "Now, since you have 8 more tests, this won't be much of an impact. Let's see what the next test does for you..."
Metal Man (GM): *FLASH* Charles is in a room with metallic walls and ceiling/flooring. There's a door out, but there's a bazillion buttons. An absurd amount of wires go in between them.
Charles: "How many buttons are here...?"
Metal Man (GM): There are three buttons, though, that are separate, and labeled. A note is attached to them. 'Pick two and attach to circuit. Only 1 correct solution.' The three buttons, in order, are: Open right door, Open both doors, Self Destruct. There are two slots. Charles must put two of those buttons in order in two slots. Slot 1 is connected to slot 2, which connects to all the buttons.
Charles: "..." *takes the note and attempts to read the back of it.*
Metal Man (GM): The note has nothing on the back. It just says. 'Pick two and attach to circuit. Only 1 correct solution.'
Charles picks up Both doors and right door. Then he puts both doors in slot 1 and right door in slot 2. "I am not sure if these are labeled correctly."
Testing Computer: *BEEP* "Is that your final answer?"
Charles: "I ain't gonna self-destruct this thing. I'll get caught in the blast. Yes."
Testing Computer: *BEEP* "Press buttons as you think they will work."
Charles: "Does button in slot 1 need to be pressed before button in slot 2 will work?"
Testing Computer: *BEEP* "That is your choice, you may press one, both, or none at all."
Charles: "...Choices... choices. No. I will not press any at all. Confirm it."
Testing Computer: *BEEP* "Confirmed." *BEEP* "You have failed." *FLASH* Charles just appears at the next test.
Charles: "What did I do wrong."
E Li Three: "You're supposed to open the door, silly!"
Charles: "Then what was the order and why?"
E Li Three: "All you needed to do was press the 'Open Door' button once."
Charles: "I can't trust simple solutions when it comes to you. Bring on the next test!"
Metal Man (GM): Next test: Charles appears in what appears to be Bowser's castle. Bowser is coming towards him, and he has two things to choose from. One: Fire Flower. Two: Tanooki Leaf.
Charles: "After picking the item, do I have to fight King Koopa with it?"
E Li Three: "Yes."
Charles: "King Koopa... what are you doing outside your post?! For this military insubordination, I am gonna have to give out the smackdown!" *picks up the Fire Flower.* "TO fight fire with fire!"
Bowser: "Raarrrgh!" He coming close... better fire off some fireballs.
Charles fires off the fireballs at him. "On reflection... I'm thinking that this is less powerful than his own fire..."
Metal Man (GM): Bam. Bam. Following traditional logic, he suddenly floats upside down and then falls through the floor.
Charles feels the tremble from Koopa's fall ala smb3. "Hit opponents from a distance was the answer?"
E Li Three: "No. Using the traditional weapon that has worked since the first battle is the answer."
Metal Man (GM): The next test is a bit quizzical...
Charles: "Ahh... we're fighting over a bridge... of course."
Metal Man (GM): There's a safe, a bar of gold, and 3 moles. 1 mole is looking at Charles. Another is staring at the safe's dial. And a third one is staring away from it all. A note on the safe says 'Stick the bar in the safe without the one looking away from knowing from being told by the other two moles.' 'Other ways are possible.'
Charles: *Checks if the safe is open.*
Metal Man (GM): Yes.
Charles goes up to one of the moles. "Hey you... one looking at me."
Mole: "...Yes?"
Charles: "You got a problem with me? You like staring at other people??!"
Mole: "Yes. I do."
Charles: "Why you gotta stare at me?"
Mole: "My eyes are unable to move anywhere but to stare at you."
Charles: "You can move, right?"
Mole: "No. Only he can move." *Points at the one staring away from everyone.*
Charles: "Tell him to move out of hearing range from you to. Can ya do that?"
Mole: "No."
Charles: "Oh I cannot believe this." *rolls up his sleeve.* "I'm gonna thump the both of you unless you agree to not snitch on me."
Mole: "We cannot stop our duty, and we are protected by force fields from damage."
Charles: "Blah, blah, blah." *walks to the gold bar.* "I pick this up, I fail?"
Metal Man (GM): The gold bar is goldtastic.
Charles: "You see me pick this up, I fail?"
Mole: "No."
Charles goes to the safe. "I pick this up, I fail?"
Mole: "No."
Charles tries to set it near the moles.
Metal Man (GM): The moles move magically to stay the same relative distance from the safe when you move the safe.
Charles moves the safe so the opening is in the opposite direction of the sight of the moles then goes to pick up the gold bar.
Metal Man (GM): The moles swivel to face the safe. Charles picks up the bar.
Charles rubs his hands together. He puts the gold bar on the ground and picks up the safe. "Now what was the stipulation: Avoid the moles seeing me put the gold bar in the safe, or opening the safe?"
Metal Man (GM): The note seems to demand attention. It says 'Prevent the moles looking at you from telling the other mole about the safe combination you used.
Charles double checks to note.
Metal Man (GM): It continues to say that.
Charles: "!" *flips the safe, with the dial on top.*
Metal Man (GM): The mole watching the safe looks at the dial.
Charles picks up the gold bar and sets it on top of the dial. He then walks over to the moles.
Metal Man (GM): ? marks appear over the moles' heads.
Charles: "Now I know you know I'll fail if I can't prevent you from telling the one that looks away from all of this the combination."
Mole: "Correct."
Charles: "Now the conditions are set that you can't tell him, yes?"
Mole: "Either one of us can tell him. And the bar must be in the safe."
Charles: "AND I have considered the fact that if I use my hand to prevent you from seeing it, you'll just be able to see. Via some..." *makes him jerky movements with his hand.* "...magical moving. Now the only factor I haven't thought about is what happens when your buddy finds out the combination."
Metal Man (GM): The note changes again. 'Remember, you can move the unseeing mole closer to the safe, as close as you want.'
Charles smiles. "As I thought. I fail if you tell him the combination... But what happens if *I* tell him the combination? That there is what we call, "A loophole."
Mole: "..." *EXPLODE* In fact, the moles and the safe explode into dust.
E Li Three: "Test 5: Completed."
Charles nods.
E Li Three: "You even found another answer beyond the obvious one..."
Charles coughs out the bad dust.
E Li Three: "Next test: Begin!"
Charles: "I know what I did, but yet the 'answer' is unclear." *mutters under his breath...*
Metal Man (GM): Charles appears atop some clouds in the middle of nowhere.
Charles: "And no obvious choice was there as well."
Metal Man (GM): Ivo Robotnik appears, in his Eggmobile.
Robotnik: "I will crush you! Prepare to die!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik presses a button, and three badniks appear on the edge of the cloud and shoot at Charles. Charles takes some damage. There is nothing telling Charles how to win or what must be achieved for victory, but of course, this is a battle.
Robotnik: "Hahaha! You will never defeat the Eggman Empire!"
Charles: "Hologram or not..." *'s eyes glow with fire.*
Robotnik: "You fool! I am entirely real! Unlike that... pathetic thing called Bob, the Lord of Electric Death! E Li Three sent you here to die! Hahahahahahaha!"
Charles: "Still, this is a test!"
Charles dashes to one of the badniks, and attempts to grab.
Robotnik: "Oh yes... a test of my true power! He said he'd give me infinite power if I crushed you!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles grabs the infinitely unmoving badnik. It explodes on contact, dealing damage to Charles.
Robotnik: "Ha ha ha ha! My badniks will never let you win! Full Power!" Robotnik shoots a green deathray at Charles from his vehicle.
Metal Man (GM): *BZAP* Remaining 2 badniks open fire on you. *Pow*
Robotnik: "You have no chance. Just give up! There is no possibility of success!"
Charles: .oO(Already he has made me look like a weakling. But not yet!)
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik then watches Charles, his finger trailing over a variety of buttons.
Charles: "What happens... when you corner an unarmed man?"
Robotnik: "You defeat him and steal everything he has! Only a fool would let such unarmed people go unpunished!"
Charles waves finger. "Wrongo."
Robotnik: "If you have any attachment to that finger, I suggest you don't wave it... I might just blast it off!"
Charles tries to snatch the gun from the badnik to his left.
Metal Man (GM): *SNATCH.* Charles takes it. It's an automatic minigun.
Charles: "The unarmed man does what he can to take advantage of his surroundings!"
Robotnik: "...You will still be defeated! That infinite power must be mine!"
Charles approaches the other badnik and attempt taking its gun.
Metal Man (GM): Somehow Charles manages to grab it... the badniks aren't that smart. Both badniks explode after Charles takes that gun.
Robotnik: "It's just you and me now! Just try to hit me!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik starts circling the cloud.
Charles: "Then let's tango!" *He makes a roll to his side, and raises the guns in the air. He fires off six shots.*
Metal Man (GM): Charles shoots up Robotnik, a lot.
Robotnik: "Argh! Curse you! I'll get you for this!"
Charles rushes to the Egg-o-matic and use a classic punch-heavy punch combo.
Robotnik: "This is the last time I make such slow badniks with such powerful weapons! ARGH!"
Metal Man (GM): SMACK! Charles damage the windshield-to-frame connection. The windshield falls off, to its doom. Eggman defenses go down.
Charles: "Now for a classic I like to call..."
Robotnik: "Not my windshield! That cost 500 coins! Now I'm gonna get bugs in my teeth!"
Metal Man (GM): He's angry now, though Charles has begun to bash up his craft a lot.
Charles shifts back, almost 5 inches to the ground. He gathers his aura, and focuses toward his legs. He then takes many steps back, then runs toward his Robotnik, and tries to further devastate his machine by giving a "Boot to the Head but actually it's more of a 'Boot to crash into the machine' kind of boot."
Metal Man (GM): *SMACK* Charles smashes the front of the thing in. A few sparks and burning noises can be heard.
Robotnik: "My power is going down... but I won't give up!"
Metal Man (GM): The machine is kicked out of range.
Charles: "That's the ticket!"
Robotnik: "Now it's my turn! ATTACK!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik's machine flies at Charles at about 25 miles per hour. *SMASH* Damage to both Charles and the machine.
Charles: "Just like being run over by a fat...*RUN OVER SOUND*!"
Robotnik: "How dare you! I'll just have to wash out your mouth... WITH MISSILES!"
Metal Man (GM): Then it turns around, and fires 6 missiles at Charles.
Charles is lying flat on the ground.
Metal Man (GM): 3 hits. The rest fly aimlessly.
Robotnik: "I'll defeat you yet... you pesky Lunarian!"
Metal Man (GM): He's on the edge of the cloud again.
Charles gets up with some screws turned loose. He then shakes out some moisture from his head and runs after the Egg-O-Matic. Doing that, he then does his best to dig into the bottom of the mobile.
Metal Man (GM): *CRIT!* Charles easily grabs onto the bottom and tears a plate loose. The Egg-o-matic starts going higher, with Charles dangling on the bottom of it.
Robotnik: "You damaged the controls! You fool!"
Charles tears the plate off. He then hangs on by one hand and briefly shakes his left hand. He'll deliver a heavy punch before letting go.
Metal Man (GM): Hit. Charles pushes himself off this way, knocking the machine back. It sparks and smokes.
Charles falls back to the cloud, but not before wrapping up by firing at the mobile again.
Metal Man (GM): All but 1 hit.
Charles lands with a soft thud on the edge of the cloud. His turn ends.
Metal Man (GM): Charles shoot a few more plates out, revealing interior circuitry.
Robotnik: "That's it! You're going down!"
Charles: "Well, well. Looks like Sonic's got some... competition."
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik furiously presses buttons. It launches a punching glove at Charles. ...Which flies to its doom.
Charles gets some "!!" over his head. He then quickly rolls to the side.
Robotnik: "No! Not my favorite punching glove!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik slams his fists on the controls.
Robotnik: "You piece of junk! He should have been dead by now!"
Metal Man (GM): He's in the middle of the cloud now.
Charles: "Well now...'Eggman'. Looks like you're a bit shaken up."
Robotnik: "You're wrong! I'm close to victory! You have no chance of survival!"
Charles: "Give it up, doc!"
Robotnik: "Not as long as I have two bits of steel with me, I'll never give up!"
Charles walks for a second or two, then begins picking up the pace. He then begins to run to Doc Robot, then stopping... not before delivering a quick punch and kick.
Metal Man (GM): Charles misses. The thing moves outta the way... then...
Robotnik: "Hahah! Now to show you my TRUE POWER!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik starts pressing a single button endlessly. *BZAP* *WHOOP* *ZOOM* About 20 badniks appear on the cloud. Robotnik then presses another button. Two missile pods jut out of the thing... and fire about 20 missiles at Charles.
Charles: "...Is this how you deal with beings getting the upper hand on you? By siccing in your bad boys?"
Robotnik: "FIRE! FIRE! DESTROY HIM!"
Metal Man (GM): 9 hits. ...The other missiles 'accidentally' take out the bots around Charles.
Robotnik: "...What? No!!!"
Charles looks to what the missiles were turning to. He quizzically says..."...Ooo... kay. Just how many you hit?"
Robotnik: "It doesn't matter! I'll defeat you!"
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik's Egg-o-matic is really messed up. One good shot could destroy or disable it.
Charles points to Robotnik. This is for the robots you tortured!"
Metal Man (GM): 4 hits. The Egg-o-matic smokes and burns. It starts descending, too fast for Charles to jump aboard, but too slow to threaten Robotnik's life.
Robotnik: "I'll get you for this!"
Metal Man (GM): Charles has defeated: Dr. Ivo Robotnik & His Egg-o-matic!
Charles turns to remaining badniks.
Metal Man (GM): There are no other badniks--Robotnik blew them up by accident.
E Li Three: "Test 6: Passed."
Charles: "Tsk tsk. You'd think he'd learn by now."
Metal Man (GM): Charles is healed, and he gets to keep those machineguns he stole.
E Li Three: "You have earned the use of those two machineguns."
Charles: "Thank you."
Metal Man (GM): The next test takes place... in a bakery. Weird corny music plays in the background. There are two conveyor belts. Suddenly, Waluigi and Wario get to one conveyor belt, and Mario and Luigi on the other. Waluigi is next to an infinite stack of cakes, and Wario is next to a billion strawberries. Mario has the cakes and Luigi has the strawberries of their conveyor belt. 'START!' appears on the ceiling, and the conveyor belts start moving. Cakes come down. Each team sticks a cake atop a cake to make a 2-layer cake, then stick the strawberry on top. ...But it appears Mario and Luigi are losing! Mario keeps on sticking cakes in the wrong places--his mouth, the floor, Waluigi's face, three layers instead of two...
Charles approaches... yet cautiously... the contest.
Metal Man (GM): The goal of this test is, as said by a piece of paper in Charles' right hand: 'Mario and Luigi must win at all costs.' 'You may do anything you like, just stop Waluigi and Wario!'
Charles: "A weakness, a weakness... gotta really think..." *takes out his new bag of 3,000 coins since its weighing him down.*
Metal Man (GM): Mario and Luigi are trailing 3 cakes.
Charles, with money in tow, jumps in the empty space so he's in between the two teams.
Wario: "...Money! ...No... must defeat Mario..."
Waluigi: "Ignore him! Defeat Luigi!"
Mario: "Whoops! I stuck the cake on the floor!"
Charles: "Ya know... I really wish I knew how much money was in this..."
Luigi: "...I really hope you were switched at birth with someone else..."
Wario: "Money... moneymoneymoney!" He ignores a cake. Mario and Luigi catch up by 1.
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi hits Wario on the head with a tennis racket.
Charles: "I keep getting different counts... like 3,009 ; 2,991..."
Waluigi: "...I don't care how much money he has! Luigi must fail! Wa ha ha ha!"
Wario: "But... the money... all the money... it must be counted!"
Metal Man (GM): Wario takes the bag from Charles and starts counting it.
Charles: "Waluigi is right. What's more important? The money... or MARIO!?"
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi sighs... but the does something unexpected. He starts doing double-time, strawberries and cakes.
Waluigi: "I don't need that greedy old meatball to defeat Luigi! Hey! Mario! We have a chance of winning!"
Mario: "...I ate another cake..."
Charles: "Hmmm... I have an idea... Mario, I recall meeting King Koopa earlier... He seemed angry... kept grumbling..."
Mario: "...?"
Waluigi: "...So many cakes... I must make them all!"
Wario: "...100 coins... 101 coins... 102 coins..."
Charles: "I think there was a tournament he was entering... something like...'win a date with a Princess of your choosing.'"
Mario: "Hmmm?"
Charles: "Yeah... it starts in a couple hours. Somewhere in the northeast direction I believe."
Mario: "...Okay... but... the cakes!" He knocks one on the floor while doing this.
Charles: "I'd bet my stock of soda drinks he's gonna rock the competition and win the hand's of a certain someone you know. Dun worry about the cakes. I'll make sure they get completed. Sides, you're already ahead of the other team! I can take your place."
Mario: "...Okie-dokie!"
Metal Man (GM): Mario runs off. Waluigi snickers. They're tied now. Wario is still counting coins...
Charles looks to Waluigi and Luigi. "I assume the both of you are... glad the portlys are out of the way? Seems like a 1-on-1 seems more efficient."
Luigi: "I guess-a-so. No more eaten cakes!"
Waluigi: "So many cakes... there's too many! But I must continue! I MUST BEAT LUIGI!"
Charles walks around a bit and takes a clean strawberry that Waluigi missed.
Metal Man (GM): They're tied for now, since there's no more botching of the cakes by Mario or Wario helping Waluigi.
Charles: "Usually, I think there's a countdown that starts about now... something that clicks when there's only 5 seconds left?"
Metal Man (GM): Right on schedule... the clicking things appears.
Waluigi: "Yes! We will tie! Then you will lose! Ha ha!"
Charles takes the strawberry and puts it on an empty 2-layer cake that Luigi couldn't get to in time.
Charles does it on around the 1 second mark.
Waluigi: "What are you doing?"
Wario: "2001... 2002... 2003..."
Charles: "Helping myself to a cake with a strawberry I put on it." *whispers to Wario.* "Psst... How much you gonna get for winning this contest?"
Wario: ..?"
Charles: "You seem perplexed. I thought this contest was for money."
Wario: "Yeah, but... I have money now!"
Metal Man (GM): *BAM* Through the ceiling comes Robotnik.
Charles: "I needed it counted... but I uhh..."
Robotnik: "What? Where am I? Why are there cakes everywhere?"
Waluigi: "You bum, get out of my way!"
Robotnik: "I am the great Ivo Robotnik, not some sort of bum! At least I have better clothes than you do."
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik turns to Locos.
Robotnik: "It's you! I must make your life hard!"
Charles: "Listen... I'll let you keep how many amount of coins you have for one favor..."
Robotnik: "Look... there's a timer... wouldn't it be a shame if I BLASTED IT TO BITS?"
Charles turns to Robotnik.
Robotnik: "That E Li Three tricked me... so I'm gonna have to make your tests even harder! Ha ha ha!" *Shoots the timer.*
Charles: "Get rid of of the guy in the machine!" *turns away to where Luigi is now.*
Wario: "...For money... get outta here, you machine-toting stranger!"
Metal Man (GM): Wario leaps on the conveyor belt, slips on a cake, and crashes into Robotnik's broken-ish Egg-o-matic. KABOOOM!
Waluigi: "Ahhhhhh! YOU IDIOT! YOU RUINED OUR TIE!"
E Li Three: "FINISH!"
Metal Man (GM): Wario and Robotnik are in a pile of cakes and debris, with swirly eyes. Luigi is in the lead by 1 cake... And Wario throws his racket at the pile of debris/idiots and stomps out. The timer is on fire.
Luigi: "...I guess I won... good work, Locos!"
Charles: "Uh-huh..."
E Li Three: "Test Number Seven: Accomplished!"
Robotnik: "I'll get my revenge on you... once I get this buffoon and these cakes off of me!"
Charles: "Suuuurre!"
Wario: "So... many... stars... pretty stars..."
Charles: "E li... anytime now..."
Metal Man (GM): *WARP* Charles goes on to the next test.
Charles: "Hmm... hmm hmm. What to do now."
E Li Three: "Hmmm... since you defeated a Mario Party 2 thing on steroids... I'll have to think of something tougher."
Metal Man (GM): The next test isss... *WARP* Charles is at some sort of space station. There's a bunch of weird things floating around outside. Charles has a rotating laser gun assembly. The goal: Blast 5 completely different objects. The objects outside are as follows: Banana, Flying goat, lead pipe, bomb, lighthouse, pirate ship, lemon orchard, plastic bead box collection, a huge floating mainframe, aaand... lemme think. Golf ball, baseball bat, plastic nose, weird machinegun, silly putty. Charles may shoot 1 item at a time.
Charles observes the objects. He goes to the rotating laser gun assembly. He thinks for a moment. He shoots E Li Three's trademark, followed by the goat, a huge floating mainframe, silly putty and the baseball bat.
Metal Man (GM): DING! Part 1 of test completed. Now, inside the station, a weird thing pops up. 'Make 5 words with the word 'satellite.''
Charles hears something weird and reads it. He says the following words with confidence, "My words are as follows: sat, tell, tile, lit, it, as."
Metal Man (GM): DING! Part 3. There is 1 key. A door is locked with the following locks in the following places. The top of the door, one in the middle, one on the right, one on the bottom, and one on the left. Charles can only unlock one lock. He must open dah door with it, and the key disappears after 1 use, as the inscription on the door says.
Charles inspects the key's design. He then inspects the left, middle, and then right locks.
Metal Man (GM): They are identical, and hold the door tightly to the wall... it's more like a slab.
Charles: "Touche, E Li. This part of the test is indeed taxing. Yet, I can only think of three possible choices... and I will choose..." *looks down to the bottom lock. He uses the key to unlock that one.*
Metal Man (GM): It is unlocked. The slab pulls on the other locks... SNAP SNAP SNAP. It falls down, revealing a room.
Charles: "I had expected it to rise up, but the end result is still the same."
Metal Man (GM): The last part of the test is simple. Charles must find a way to navigate a long, treacherous, suspended path. The first problem is a weird electrified path. There is a note to the side. 'L is the way to victory. ' The path is a 3 by 3 thing. Like...
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Metal Man (GM): Pick your path! That is, one thing at a time. Charles can see a treasure chest with Toad (The mushroom guy) next to it at the end.
Charles cannot believe this; what could be easier? He starts at the most bottom-right.
Metal Man (GM): The panel glows yellow. It is correct.
Charles then moves one panel to the left. He finally moves two spaces up.
Metal Man (GM): Charles goes right through. A DING is heard. Charles has cleared 1/3 obstacles. The next one... is kinda weird. There is a gap, and three paths which Charles can move around to make a path across.
Charles enters the next part.
Metal Man (GM): Here is what they look like:
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Metal Man (GM): And finally...
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Metal Man (GM): The path must be 9 squares long. Path 1 is referred to as 'c', Path 2 as 'L', and Path 3 as 'W.' Charles can move the paths around to cross a gap of 9 squares in between where he is and the next part of the weird path. So, for example... CWL means those three paths side by side. C. W. L. Means each path in a straight line. Charles can rotate C to become U too.
Charles has it.
Metal Man (GM): Ok. What's the answer?
Charles: C --- W --- L rotated 90 degree clockwise and integrated into the bottom space of W.
Metal Man (GM): Ah. correct. DING! Charles gets across. ...The chest is right there, with Toad. It's a big old treasure chest.
Toad: "Congratulations! You completed and passed E Li Three's test of worth! Now, you just have to--"
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH* A bunch of ceiling tiles fall from the ceiling. Robotnik's Eggmobile descends with a claw, grabbing the chest... It's covered in cake and Waluigi is riding on the side.
Charles: "Of course... he doesn't go back on his word."
Robotnik: "You can try as hard as you want, but you will never defeat me!"
Waluigi: "You will pay for making me lose!"
Robotnik: "I must get revenge... for TWO defeats in a row!"
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi leaps down and runs at you with a golf club.
Charles: "Don't blame me. Wario wanted the money and whoa--!"
Metal Man (GM): BONK!
Waluigi: "There is no time for talking... ONLY SMASHING!"
Robotnik: "Destroy him, Waluigi! Then, together, we shall rule Nintendus with whatever is inside this chest!"
Toad: "...Where did you pick THESE losers up from? ...They seem less coherent than BOWSER, for cripes sake..."
Robotnik: "It isn't my fault that Wario attacked me and caused my ship to crash into cake!"
Metal Man (GM): Toad slaps his forehead.
Charles whistles on that part.
Metal Man (GM): There's still cake and junk on the heavily battered Egg-o-matic; Robotnik didn't have time to switch out while chasing Locos.
Robotnik: "I will crush you, Locos! No one defeats me twice in a row and gets away with it!"
Charles laughs.
Waluigi: "You made me lose to Luigi! You must be punished!"
Charles: "To me, this is just another test by E Li Three. I will not be denied my item!"
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi, wasting no time, pulls out a golf club and runs at Charles. Miss. He runs right past Charles.
Charles: "One cannot take... if he has no way of clutching."
Robotnik: "I will crush you in my clutches!"
Waluigi: "Just wait until I get out my tennis racket!"
Charles runs to the bottom of the Egg-O-Matic and tries to grab onto the claw.
Metal Man (GM): Charles slides on a piece of cake that was dropped from the mecha. Robotnik AND Waluigi counter him simultaneously.
Charles trips and falls.
Metal Man (GM): Robotnik fires a laser at Charles. *BZAP* Waluigi tries to bash Charles again with that golf club. SMACK! CRIT!
Robotnik: "I will kill you for your pride! FULL POWER!!!"
Metal Man (GM): He presses a button, and... the Egg-o-matic launches a cake at Charles. ...Due to his luck, it SMACKS Charles in the face. Waluigi pulls out his tennis racket and starts launching tennis balls at Charles.
Charles is a wee bit blinded.
Metal Man (GM): *SMACK!* One of them bounces off the back of Charles' head.
Waluigi: "Ha-ha! Take that, you freak!"
Charles hears the evil brother rant on, and runs in that direction. He aims a bit in the air to give a kick to the shin.
Metal Man (GM): *SMACK* Charles knocks him over, despite bad accuracy. He's so tall that he makes an easy target, not to mention he's usually about catching incoming tennis balls rather than avoiding things.
Waluigi: "Ow! You won't get away with this!"
Charles pulls out his automatics. Feeling a bit peeved, he briefly goes beserked and shoots in several directions.
Metal Man (GM): Charles shoots Waluigi three times... what a buffoon. He's not actually good at dodging anything!
Charles: 9%.
Metal Man (GM): Charles hits thrice, so the combo can continue.
Waluigi: "Agh! My hat!"
Charles holsters his weapons and continues to follow Waluigi's voice. He takes several steps diagonally to catch up and grab him.
Metal Man (GM): Hit. Charles has really been beating Waluigi up, despite having a cake stuck on his head.
Robotnik: "He's a killing machine! It can't be! I shot a cake into his head!"
Charles grabs the person who has a vendetta against Luigi. Charles then wraps up with a hard Heavy Punch.
Metal Man (GM): Charles drops Waluigi, as well as the cake on his head. Robotnik, looking crazy as ever, pulls out one of his guns.
Charles shakes off the frosting from his nose.
Robotnik: "I'm all out of ammo... oh wait! My ray of terrible destruction hasn't been used! Take this, frosting freak!"
Metal Man (GM): He presses the trigger, and a red beam of death flies at Charles.
Charles: "...Not again..."
Metal Man (GM): It hits both Charles AND Waluigi. *BOOOOOM!* A huge explosion engulfs both of them. Waluigi is blasted backwards. Robotnik presses the trigger again... nope. Dead.
Robotnik: "...I really should have packed more ammo..."
Charles is sizzled to the ground... baking at 100 degrees.
Metal Man (GM): He throws the ray gun at Charles' head. *BONK*
Robotnik: "Hah! Take that!"
Charles: "Oh my aching...*KA-BONG*"
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi, looking angry, takes off his sunglasses. Through some supernatural powers, he fires lasers out of his eyes at Charles. *CRIT! CRIT MISS!*
Charles: "Oh for the love of..."
Metal Man (GM): That is... the weirdest... dice roll... I have ever seen. The first hit BLASTS Charles, while the other one hits Robotnik's Egg-o-matic. Waluigi's turn ends from the extremely weird crit/critmiss.
Charles struggles to get up. He has one of his arms clutched and breathes heavily.
Robotnik: "He isn't dead yet? This can't be! I've used EVERYTHING!"
Waluigi: "He broke my hat! You better pay to fix it, or you're next!"
Charles: "...B..b.buttnik... Why not just... leave unless you want to continue."
Robotnik: "I must have my revenge! If you survive, you or Waluigi there could pull some nasty tricks on me! The last time I turned my back on you, a fat man and a cake hit me!"
Charles makes another attempt at running and grabbing at the claw.
Metal Man (GM): *EL GRAB* The claw is damaged. It could drop Charles' gift soon...
Robotnik: "Argh! My precise gripping device!"
Charles: "With my remaining strength... I WILL CRUSH THIS GRABBER!" *raises his fist back... and rushes it forward to wail on the claw Heavily.*
Metal Man (GM): Charles hits it, being an inanimate object. And the Egg-o-Matic can't move without explicitly opening itself to attack. *BAM* The claw breaks... off of the Egg-o-matic. The chest flips open. *GLOWING SPECIAL EFFECTS.*
Charles staggers to the opening of the chest.
Metal Man (GM): Locos is now level 5! Locos is healed! Locos gained experience in addition to becoming level 5!
Waluigi: "Oh no! He's got the ultimate power!"
Robotnik: "Uhh... Uhhh... DESTROY HIM!"
Charles stands and is back to being unbloodied.
Waluigi: "No way! You're crazy! I'm going to make you pay for my hat!"
Metal Man (GM): Waluigi starts launching tennis balls at Robotnik. *SMACK SMACK MISS.* They blast the Egg-o-matic back, and it... explodes. Robotnik lands on the ground, charred black.
Robotnik: "This isn't the last of me!"
Metal Man (GM): He presses a button, and disappears. ...As does Waluigi.
Charles wipes off the sweat from his forehead.
Metal Man (GM): Charles reappears in the lounge, where E Li Three has a sort of grin on his face.
E Li Three: "Well well... I guess I didn't expect Robotnik and Waluigi to be so... persistent..."
Charles: "And I didn't expect I'd fare better this time than the first." *looks up to E Li Three's 'throne(?)'.*
Metal Man (GM): Yup. He's on that throne again.
Charles: "Does this mean we're done?"
E Li Three: "Well... in addition to this... I'm sure you're looking for Yurie, right? How about I send you and your friends... directly to her location... well. As close as possible."
Charles: "First thing's first... My 'comrades' back in the Mystic Ruins."
E Li Three: "Yes?"
Charles: "Perhaps there's a way to bring a couple of them with me?"
E Li Three: "Yes! Yes. You deserve it for tackling those... evil buffoons."
Charles: "Psst."
E Li Three: "I hired them to challenge you, not to... relentlessly pursue you everywhere!"
Charles: "Yeah... yeah I have a tendency to attract people who want to murder me." *points to his hammer sheathe... hammerless.* "Care to do something about this?
E Li Three: "Oops!"
Metal Man (GM): In a poof of smoke, Charles' old weapon is restored.
Charles: "Thanks. Now what do I do with these weapons?" *shows the automatic miniguns.*
E Li Three: "Keep them, of course. Do what you want. They're worth something... oh yeah. You gain 3 'Metal Points' for completing Level 2 Course of Difficulty."
Charles nods. He holsters them to his newly acquired ...gun belt.
E Li Three: "Now then, ready to go?"
Charles: "Indubitably."
Metal Man (GM): *WARP* Charles and... 3 people from his base on Nintendus... as well as Ivan Robotnik and Nehi... warp to where the other Questers are.
Charles takes out his chair and sits in it before warping.
Waluigi: *Somewhere far away.* "I will get my revenge on you, Locos!"

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