Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 173: Don't Mess With E Li Three

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Date: 5:10:37 PM, March 24th, 2005.
Charles Magellean: "We may eventually learn how to make sure there is no conquest for this place. They would learn their places. Now here's something I need to ask for a favor..." *End.*
Aribar hrms, walking through the stadium with his eyes cast down on the ground... His foot steps eventually bring him to the door of Oak's lab. He looks up and decides to go inside the lab.
Digifanatic: *Meanwhile, back in R&R, Digi was going to introduce himself to Julian before Ari's events had occurred...*
Julian Sawyer: .oO(Man, this place is weird...)
Metal Man (GM): A bomb warps into R&R. It then explodes.
Julian Sawyer: *Was sitting in R&R, reading a book on Nintendus history.*
Digifanatic: "What the...?!"
Metal Man (GM): All of R&R is set on fire and blown out... And all electronics cease to function within a 500 foot radius.
Digifanatic: "Who did that?!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...what the hell?!"
Julian Sawyer: *Is assumedly blown out of his chair and into a wall.*
Metal Man (GM): The lights are out, now... and everything is deadly silent...
Metal Man walks in, a chair impaled on his head.
Julian Sawyer: "...What the hell was that?"
Aribar blinks, looking up. "... Did something happen?"
Digifanatic: "Metal, what happened?"
Julian Sawyer: *Puts down the now destroyed book.*
Metal Man: "...What in the 15 thousand Grodus bots just happened?"
Julian Sawyer: "I heard an explosion, then I was over here." *Peels himself off the wall while he's at it.*
Gibby hears explosions. "...that can't be good."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we just got bombed big time."
Metal Man takes the chair off of his head and sits in it. "But by who?"
Digifanatic: "I dunno."
Gibby drops his brownies, and steps out of the kitchen.
Julian Sawyer: "Good question..."
Aribar hrms and decides to head to the R&R... He takes a while, though.
Digifanatic: "So..."
Garrick Fy`aar glances around the R&R room.
Julian Sawyer: *Wonders how much that book is gonna cost him.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Dex, you still alive?"
Metal Man (GM): The dex is dead.
Gibby heads into the R&R room to go find someone.
Digifanatic: "Oh man... my Dex... my Vice... whoever's responsible for this is gonna pay from us..."
Metal Man: "I just received a report... from Mewtwo. Telepathically. An EMP bomb took everything out."
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Gibby: "What's going on?"
Julian Sawyer: "So we got no power?"
Digifanatic: "EMP? Electromagnetic Pulse, right?"
Metal Man: "Yes."
Digifanatic: "Thought so."
Julian Sawyer: "So what do we do now?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "We find out who did it."
Metal Man (GM): ...You hear another warp... in the arena.
Shadow: "...Not today! CHAOS CONTROL!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we've got company."
Gibby heads over to the others.
Garrick Fy`aar bolts for the arena.
Julian Sawyer: "...Jebus, what now?"
Digifanatic: "I dunno."
Metal Man (GM): Shadow reappears.
Digifanatic: "Hey, Shad."
Shadow: "I sent a second bomb at the people who warped both of them in."
Gibby follows Garrick to the arena.
Julian Sawyer: "So who did it?"
Shadow: "Unfortunately, the portal closed right after I threw it in their face."
Aribar reaches the R&R... "Okay, is Gibby making super brownies again?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...they're going to attack."
Digifanatic: "Both of whom?"
Julian Sawyer: "Where did you send it?"
Shadow: "Somebody tossed bombs at us."
Gibby: "...maybe..."
Digifanatic: "Oh."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Get outside!"
Aribar: "Goody! Just what we need! To be sieged..."
Digifanatic: "Oh boy..." *He sets the Warp Pipe controls to* "Fire Escape."
Shadow: "I sent one of them back... but it detonated in the portal. The Stadium is operational, though."
Garrick Fy`aar immediately heads for the closest window/door/passageway outside and looks.
Metal Man (GM): Nothing is outside. It's a clear day.
Julian Sawyer: "Where did you send the bomb?"
Digifanatic hops in the Pipe...
Garrick Fy`aar: "...why would somebody just send a pair of EMPs at us and not attack?"
Shadow: "Somewhere far... far away..."
Digifanatic: .oO(At least it's nice out here...)
Garrick Fy`aar walks back to the arena floor.
Gibby: "Maybe it's a warning."
Shadow: "Aribar, do you know anything far, far away?"
Aribar: "Hrm..." *The elf tries to think of who would do this...*
Digifanatic heads back as well. "No darks skies of impending doom... that's odd."
Aribar: "Hrm... Gerald's base? ... The Phendrana Ocean?"
Julian Sawyer: "Can you please stop being vague?"
Metal Man: "It'd have to be a coward, too... otherwise... we'd be invaded by now."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Grunty? Payback?"
Shadow: "I don't know. I'm not a psychic."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...if more than one bomb has come, it's probably safe to say a third is going to come as well. Maybe two more."
Digifanatic: *Upon walking back...* "Yup... nobody's out there. I agree though, there is fire in the hole..." "And this is certainly enough of a hole."
Garrick Fy`aar: "If we can find where it's going to come through, we can jump through the portal right when it does."
Aribar: "...Who knows? Maybe Ricky and the others caught in the destruction of Valhalla somehow survived and want revenge."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'm heading to the Big Room. Somebody go to Oak's lab. If I were to set off an EMP, that's where I'd do it."
Aribar: "Or maybe Locos is attacking us?" *The elf shrugs his shoulder.*
Garrick Fy`aar heads for the Big Room.
Gibby: "I'll come with you, Garrick." *He goes with Garrick.*
Digifanatic: "Locos?"
Julian Sawyer: *Heads for Oak's Lab then.*
Aribar: "Yeah..."
Digifanatic: "Oh boy..."
Aribar: "Or... You know, I think it has to be Gerald."
Digifanatic: "No, I believe you, but it's crazy."
Aribar: "He seems to be the only one with the technology... And he had a spy in his base."
Metal Man (GM): Oak's lab is... blasted.
Aribar takes out his dex and tries to see if it will even turn on.
Garrick Fy`aar glances about in the Big Room, watching with a hawk's eye right in the center of the meeting table.
Digifanatic: "Yeah..."
Gibby: "What are we going to do in here?"
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: Isn't that odd! Klumsy's dex clicks a bit... then turns on. What the heck is it?
Julian Sawyer: "...Holy crap..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "We wait. See if another ones come here."
Aribar: "Hrm..."
Metal Man (GM): Oak gets out of the rubble.
Aribar tries to contact Metal Sonic.
Professor Oak: "Hello... some EMP blasted apart my lab."
Gibby: "Sounds kinda risky don't you think?"
Metal Sonic: (Dex) "Yes, Aribar?"
Julian Sawyer: "Are you OK?"
Professor Oak: "Of course... but my inventions will need to be repaired."
Aribar: "We've just been hit by a few EMP Bombs... Do you know is Metallix or Gerald may be connected to this or not?"
Metal Sonic: (Dex) "They are not involved. Gerald has turned up missing, and Metallix already attacked."
Aribar: "Hrm..."
Garrick Fy`aar tries to get the main computer in the Big Room working again, wondering if Mewtwo is around there.
Aribar: "That's all... Bye."
Metal Man (GM): No computers work in the Big Room. Mewtwo is there, though.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Dah, piece of junk..."
Mewtwo: "Hello, Garrick."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...oh, hey Mewtwo... do YOU know who could have done this?"
Digifanatic: "Oh well... might as well follow the others Ari..."
Gibby notices Mewtwo as well. "Hello."
Digifanatic heads down to the Big Room.
Aribar: "...I've one more theory..." *He follows Digi.*
Digifanatic: "Yeah, Ari?"
Aribar: "I think I've another lead on who might have done this..."
Digifanatic: "Who?"
Mewtwo: "No, I do not know."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Heh."
Gibby: "Hmmm..."
Aribar: "Ruvyn, AKA Kuja, has my Dex..." *He speaks this to everyone in the Big Room once there.*
Garrick Fy`aar pops the panel under the computer off and shimmies inside, trying to see if he can repair it...
Aribar: "What is he is using it to warp in bombs and such?"
Gibby: "That's right! You gave it to him in exchange for Orlando."
Aribar: "He did seem rather mad when... Ummm... That order of Point butter didn't reach him... Yeah..."
Digifanatic: "Uh huh..."
Julian Sawyer: "We should be heading for the Big Room then."
Aribar remembers his promise just in time before he breaks it... Good thing too possibly.
Julian Sawyer: "They'd probably want to know you're ok."
Mewtwo: "Do not fear. We can fix this problem."
Gibby: "How?"
Julian Sawyer: "Follow me." *Exits Oak's Lab and starts heading for the Big Room.*
Mewtwo: "Mr. Patch."
Aribar: "So does anyone else think that it is possible Kuja di---... Did you say Mr. Patch?"
Digifanatic: "What is Mr. Patch?"
Mewtwo: "Mr. Patch can fix anything."
Gibby: "...uh oh..."
Aribar: *Twitch.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...what the or who the hell is Mr. Patch?"
Aribar: *Twitchy-twitch* "Hell on earth."
Digifanatic: "And what is so evil about him, Gibby?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...heh, well, I'm not surprised."
Aribar: "...Or Nintendus, rather."
Gibby: "Well... how do I put this... he's... well, he's...'interesting'...to say the least... Yeah..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...damn... power... source. Dah! Ari, give me that Dex."
Mewtwo: "Using his delicate trap... err... ceremony... err... techno dance... he can fix all of our stuff at once."
Julian Sawyer: *Is on his way to the Big Room, Oak hopefully following him.*
Metal Man (GM): Oak is following you.
Aribar: "How will we get to him? As far as I know, we've no warping or traveling devices... And... Umm... Why, Garrick?"
Julian Sawyer: "So, what got destroyed in your lab?"
Professor Oak: "Only everything."
VG slowly makes his way to the Big Room... he was having a nice nap as well.
Digifanatic: "Hello Veeg."
Gibby waves VG over.
Aribar: "'allo, VG, sir."
VG: "Sorry I'm late; I think Wolfman got affected by whatever wave that was. ...what's going on?"
Gibby: "We were attacked."
Aribar: "Explosions of doom." (Plus one!)
Mewtwo: "So then... to fix all the broken objects, we go to Mr. Patch."
Digifanatic: .oO(Hello Veeg, hello Ari, hello Oak, hello new guy... Hello Newman.)
Gibby sighs.
VG: "Wait..."
Gibby: "Fine... if it's our last resort."
VG: "No offense Mewtwo, but Wolfman did tell me of the few times the previous Questers went..."
Aribar: "We'll be good this time! ... Maybe."
VG: "Let's just say that he did NOT like all of those times."
Mewtwo: "Let me put it this way. Thousands of coins in repairwork, taking weeks away from our ability to fight the enemy... Or a single mission, in which Mr. Patch fixes everything."
Julian Sawyer: "Well, I think we're here..." *And they are. Julian enters, and takes up a spot.*
Aribar: "I choose the former!"
VG looks to Aribar...
Gibby: "You would, Ari... the mission sounds good."
Mewtwo: "And... while he may be weird... annoying... and stupid, but... then we can boot up our stuff and destroy whoever did this to us."
Gibby: "Well, it doesn't, but it's the lesser of two evils... I think..."
VG: "At this rate, it almost doesn't matter. However, I'm willing to give the Patch guy one shot."
Mewtwo: "Now... the only problem is that Mr. Patch is located in the ruins of Saturn Valley."
VG: .oO(And God help me if this mission gets botched.)
Digifanatic: "Ohhhhhhhhh..."
VG: "...he moved?"
Digifanatic groans...
VG: "Didn't he used to be on one of those Hylian Islands?"
Mewtwo: "He moved, indeed!"
Digifanatic: "Not again."
Aribar: "...Goody."
Gibby: "Aw man..."
Julian Sawyer: "What're we talking about?"
Mewtwo: "He sent us a letter to commemorate the occasion."
Gibby: "Oh heart's content..."
VG turns to Julian. "This was before your time."
Gibby: "He's one of the lucky ones..."
Julian Sawyer: "Apparently..."
VG: "Basically, we're going to be dealing with a person that has... well, let's just say that you'll either appreciate his style, or want to become Piranha Plant food."
Digifanatic: "Heh..."
Gibby: "More likely the plant food..."
VG now turns to Mewtwo. "Do any of the cars still work, or are most of them computerized as well?"
Digifanatic: "I dunno anything, so my best intention is to see what happens... Depending on the decision."
Julian Sawyer: "...Ok..."
Mewtwo: "All but a single thing is broken. Aribar's... dex..."
Julian Sawyer: "...So maybe we should look at it?"
Digifanatic: *How could that be?*"
Mewtwo: "Using that, we can contact Nova, who can warp us to the valley. I don't know. His dex is peculiar and old."
Gibby: "Figures..."
Digifanatic: "That'll do it. Maybe the Emps were signaled to destroy only certain programs."
Julian Sawyer: "I'm pretty sure EMPs destroy everything..."
VG: "Almost anything with electronics in them, yes."
Digifanatic: "Ok. I stand corrected."
Gibby: *Sarcastically* "Maybe Ari's dex is magical..."
VG: "...looks like I'll have to prove myself without Wolfman this time."
Aribar gives his dex over to Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: "Everything but that dex and the arena was disabled and destroyed. The Dex having been an exception."
Aribar: "No, it's just Klumsy's old dex... I think I'll stay here and try to help straighten this place up... Plus I think I may get an urge to stab something if I see Patch."
Mewtwo: "Which was both magical and... special."
VG: "...who has has been to Mr. Patch? Show of hands."
Mewtwo: "Just contact Nova for us, then you can do what you want."
Aribar raises his hand and goes to contact Nova.
Gibby: "Uhh..." *He raises his fins.* "...no hands..."
VG slaps his hat.
Mewtwo: "Yes, Gibby?"
VG: "...my fault there Mewtwo; I was curious as to who has seen Mr. Patch."
Gibby: "Oh, no question... just showing VG that I don't have hands." *He frowns.* "I wish I did..."
Mewtwo: "Oh..."
Gibby: "Then it'd be easier to count."
Digifanatic: "Hands, fins, it's practically all the same..."
Gibby: "...but anyway..."
Aribar: "Nova? ... 'allo?"
Nova: "Yes?"
Aribar: "We've been bombarded. We need a warp to Saturn Valley, at Mr. Patch's doorstep preferably, so he can fix stuff."
Nova: "Affirmative."
Metal Man (GM): A warp appears to Saturn Valley.
Digifanatic raises his index finger. "Scuse me a moment, Mewtwo, but I have some quick unfinished biz..." He motions Julian over.
Aribar closes his dex. "Well, there you go! ... I guess I'll help the cleanup crew here."
Digifanatic: "Well, I hope we're not interrupted by something else, but I was trying to introduce myself for you."
Aribar heads out of the room, and down the hall to help somewhere.
VG looks to Aribar... "...he sure doesn't want to go..." *He goes towards this warp.*
Gibby goes to the warp as well.
Julian Sawyer: "...Okay... We kinda have to leave now."
Digifanatic: "I'll be right there guys. Gimme a minute... Okay..." *He heads into the warp.*
Julian Sawyer: "We'll talk later." *Enters warp.*
Digifanatic: .oO(And this is the no-leeway life I decided to resume...)
Metal Man (GM): You all appear in the ruins... in the middle of the valley, which still shines.
Digifanatic: .oO(But it's all the name of honor and protection...)
Metal Man (GM): The Mr. Saturns are cleaning up the terrible mess.
Digifanatic: "Oh man..."
Metal Man (GM): And there's a cave with the words 'Mr. Patch' written over it.
VG gets a look... oh boy.
Julian Sawyer: "...Well, at least they're doing their best to carry on..."
VG finds something with "Mr. Patch" on it... "Guys, this way!" *He starts running to the cave.*
Digifanatic: "Yeah..." *He follows the Toad.*
Gibby: "Oy... I'm getting a headache already." *He goes to the cave.*
Julian Sawyer: *Follows VG.*
Digifanatic tries turning over to Julian again, suspecting some ambush of enemies is gonna try to attack them, but tries this again...
Metal Man (GM): You enter the cave. Inside... is four mirrors... set in a cube... blocking ingress. There's one in front, one above, one below, one to the right, and one to the left.
Digifanatic: "Hopefully, this is the charm. So, what is your name and what brings you to this... group?"
VG gets a looks... what the? "Guys... any reason why this guy would want us to solve a puzzle before entering?"
Gibby: "He's annoying?"
Digifanatic is also concentrating on the puzzle, but multitasking is not his main concern.
Julian Sawyer: "Well, my name is Julian Sawyer, and I just got sucked up out of my apartment by a portal, and ended up in that cave."
Editor's Note: Weird, this Julian isn't an ego-maniac at all.
Digifanatic: "...Ah."
Julian Sawyer: "It's a screening process."
Digifanatic: "Heh. I go by two names: if you know me on Earth, it's Ian, If you know me from Smash Quest, it's my nickname, alias, whatever; Digifanatic. You can probably figure out the short name. But it's good to see more people like you joining this place. You can't just rely on the same three or four people every time we go on out, y'know?"
Metal Man (GM): So, what do you do? The mirrors are both mysterious and annoying.
Julian Sawyer: *Looks for a rock or something.*
Metal Man (GM): There is, indeed, a rock on the ground.
Julian Sawyer: *Picks it up.*
Gibby: "...I don't like where this is going..."
Julian Sawyer: "Gibby, try poking it."
Gibby: "...do you honestly think that I'll poke ANYTHING if you ask me?"
Julian Sawyer: "Yes."
Gibby: "...well then you'd be correct." *He goes to poke the mirrors.*
Metal Man (GM): Gibby: You walk onto the bottom mirror... experience a roasty, spiky death... then reappear, having only taken 1 damage.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Gibby: "...that's the last time I listen to you."
VG: "Wait... you might have given me an idea. Think we should throw the rock in there?"
Julian Sawyer: *Decides to chuck the rock at it.*
Metal Man (GM): The rock hits Julian in the back of the forehead. 1% damage.
Julian Sawyer: *Rubs the back of his head* "Okay, that didn't work..."
Gibby laughs.
VG wonders if there is any way to move the mirrors.
Metal Man (GM): So, from the details you have gathered, what is your next attempt? The mirrors move when touched.
VG attempts to jump into a different mirror... say, the one on the LEFT.
Metal Man (GM): You reappear from the right wall, just before the trap itself.
VG: "...woah."
Gibby: "Coool..."
VG: "...okay, let's review here. Going straight through leads to getting conked on the head. Entering left gets us to the right. ...what about entering from above?" *He jumps up and lands on the mirror ON TOP.*
Metal Man (GM): VG appears out of the ground, right before the trap itself.
Julian Sawyer lets the small people try this out first. "What about from behind?"
VG attempts to follow Julian's idea by going BEHIND.
Metal Man (GM): Tell me exactly what behind means. Ah yes... that mirror... You run out of the cave that way. However, you feel some weird force as you run outside.
VG ends up... huh? What's going on? .oO(...what did I do now?) *He wonders what he's feeling.*
Metal Man (GM): Just a slight tingling. You can go back inside the cave.
VG enters the cave again... if he is where he think he is, he'll end up seeing Julian again.
Metal Man (GM): Julian: You see VG suddenly warp through you and past the cube. VG: You're now past the cube... a single mirror blocks the way back.
VG: .oO(Well... I did see Julian...) *He waits for a minute to see if Julian can somehow follow.*
Julian Sawyer: "..." *Tries doing what VG did.*
Metal Man (GM): VG gets through as well.
VG was already through.
Metal Man (GM): The path ahead is clear.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
VG: "That was freaky, wasn't it?"
Julian Sawyer: "Yes... very..."
VG starts going on the clear path."
Julian Sawyer: *Gets a move on.*
Metal Man (GM): Your next obstacle... is a door with three doorknobs.
VG and Julian reach a door... with three doorknobs? "Alright... want to guess that two of those knobs won't work?"
Julian Sawyer: "Sure... Question is, which one?"
VG tries to find something on the ground or on the walls that can be used for assistance.
Metal Man (GM): There's more rocks on the ground.
VG has no use for a rock... He goes to the door itself to LOOK, not touch.
Garrick Fy`aar appears out of the shadows. He's like that. "...little trouble?"
Metal Man (GM): The door is red, and has three doorknobs, in the middle, in a row.
VG is going to be stupid now... *To door* "Hello?"
Metal Man (GM): The door does nothing.
VG looks at the doorknobs then... anything funny?
Garrick Fy`aar sighs, walks up, and turns the right doorknob.
Metal Man (GM): Garrick is zapped for 10 damage.
VG: "Wait Garrick--"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...ow."
VG: "...what part of Wait did you not get?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "You were just STANDING there. Had to do something."
VG: "I was trying to find something unique about the door and the knobs. Sometimes patience can work."
Metal Man (GM): The knobs are all the same.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...it has three of them. Simple as that." *He sees if his Dex has power again.*
Metal Man (GM): Alas, the circuitry was fried, my good man.
VG goes for a crazy idea now...
Metal Man (GM): All the power in the world cannot work without circuits.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...damn... it'll take me a good few hours to repair this."
VG takes off his hat, but still holds it in his left hand. He makes a "connection" between himself and the left doorknob to see if anything happens.
Metal Man (GM): Nothing happens.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Turn it."
VG puts the hat back on his head. "..." *He turns it... if possible.* .oO(if I get shocked, I'm killing you Garrick)
Metal Man (GM): You try to turn it... it's locked.
VG: "...you want to try the middle knob?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Yeah, sure." *He does so.*
Metal Man (GM): Garrick's hand sticks to the middle knob, which also doesn't turn.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...dah, blast. Here, you turn that one, I'll turn these two."
VG: "Right." *He attempts to turn the left one now.*
Garrick Fy`aar turns the right and middle one when VG turns the left.
Metal Man (GM): *CLICK* It opens. The way ahead is clear, and Garrick is unstuck.
Julian Sawyer: "Hooray!"
VG: "Good thinking."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...right. Let's get moving." *He heads out.*
Julian Sawyer: *Moves on.*
VG follows.
Metal Man (GM): Your next trap is... a force field, which is behind a table full of random liquors and a glass.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...now THIS is what I'm talking about."
VG does NOT want to use his last debarrier cube here. "What exactly?"
Julian Sawyer: "He's gonna get boozed up."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Whiskey. Or, at least, what looks like whiskey. I haven't had a drink since I got here..." *He looks over the bottles, looking for anything that looks familiar.*
Metal Man (GM): There's plenty of rum, whisky, clear grain alcohol, even some old looking beer.
VG is not interested in any of the drinks.
Metal Man (GM): Why it's sitting on a table in front of a force field is beyond most sentient beings.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...*Whistle*...who ever owns this place has good taste."
VG tries to find a way out of the room without having to disturb the alcohol table.
Metal Man (GM): The way back is open... Or you could try your luck with that force field.
VG: "Well, why don't you guys try digging in then?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Well... I'm trying to figure out this puzzle."
Julian Sawyer: *Looks for another rock.*
Metal Man (GM): There's another rock, yes. This is a rocky cavern.
Julian Sawyer: *Throws it at the forcefield.*
Metal Man (GM): It disintegrates into dust, which then burns and implodes.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...well, can't go through that way... let's see here..." *He looks at the various bottles... then shrugs and tries to pick up a bottle of whiskey he sees near the left side.*
VG gets ready to aim his deathzooka at a bottle of beer; not charging, just steady aiming or something while everyone else gets out of the way.
Julian Sawyer: *Looks at the feet of the table to see if it's bolted down or anything.*
Metal Man (GM): The table is not bolted down.
Garrick Fy`aar picks up the bottle?
Metal Man (GM): You pick it up.
Garrick Fy`aar pops the top of the bottle, sniffing it with a trained nose toward whiskey...
Metal Man (GM): It smells like good whiskey to you; perfect condition.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...hmmmm." *He reaches over and picks up a bottle of gin, which he never much cared for, and chucks it at the forcefield.*
VG sees Garrick do that... wha? "Okay, for a bunch of guys that love that stuff, I don't see why you want to get rid of it like that."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Don't like gin."
Metal Man (GM): It hits the force field and explodes. The force field then dies down.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Heh."
Julian Sawyer: "... Well, that worked."
VG has no comment... he just continues on.
Julian Sawyer: *Moves on out.*
Garrick Fy`aar pockets the whiskey he picked up, then heads for the door.
Metal Man (GM): Next trap! This trap is even weirder than the next. There are five CDs, and one CD player. A wooden wall blocks the way. The CDs are as follows: 'The Super Mario Brothers Dance Music The Mega Disco Collection, Volume XXIV Dr. Mario Sing-along Yoshi's Technopop Factory Donkey Kong Madness'
VG: "...what type of music are these?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we're trying to get this Mr. Patch, right?"
Julian Sawyer: "I suggest the disco collection."
VG: "Wait... Kind of a silly question here..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "That or the Technopop Factory thing."
VG: "But how many Yoshi's can actually... well, say more than Yoshi?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Well, let's just try it then."
VG is thinking that the Technopop Factory might work...
Metal Man (GM): The wall bounces off of the wall. Erm... the rock bounces off of the wall.
Garrick Fy`aar pops open the player, places the Yoshi's Technopop Factory in, closes it, and hits play.
Metal Man (GM): Everyone is hit by lightning for 20 damage.
Julian Sawyer: "YEARGH!"
Metal Man (GM): The CD then hits Garrick in the head and explodes for an additional 20 damage.
Editor's Note: Danger, Yoshi's Technopop Factory not fit for listening. Only Yoshis can hear the high-pitched screeching.
Garrick Fy`aar hisses from the damage. "...blasted... okay, try the disco one."
Julian Sawyer: "...Ok, my turn." *Puts in The Mega Disco Collection, Volume 24*
VG gets shocked...
Metal Man (GM): Bad disco music plays as the wall falls down... .revealing the way to the final trap!
Julian Sawyer: "I'm a genius."
VG: "...yeah, right."
Julian Sawyer: *Heads forward.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Uh huh."
Metal Man (GM): You have a rotary telephone on the wall...
VG continues on.
Metal Man (GM): On a table, are five items.
Garrick Fy`aar walks on as well.
Metal Man (GM): A banana... A bottle of gin... A disk of disco, the same one Julian used... A pocket mirror... And a pack of chewing gum.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...jeez, this guy is nuts."
Julian Sawyer: "Indeed..."
VG is witnessing the strangest collection of items yet.
Metal Man (GM): It says 'Trap designed by E Li Three' below the collection.
VG gets the name... "E Li Three... is that name supposed to be familiar?"
Garrick Fy`aar glances at the telephone. He walks up to it, gulps, then gently takes the phone of the carrier and puts it to his ear "Metal's little robotic butler person..."
Azure appears from someplace far or maybe that door of doors "More strange contraptions...."
Julian Sawyer: "...Hmmm..." *Picks up the banana.*
Metal Man (GM): It looks tasty.
Garrick Fy`aar listens for a dial tone, perhaps.
Metal Man (GM): And you feel hungry...
VG looks to Julian...
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: You pick it up, and hear some sort of clown music playing from the receiver.
VG: "DON'T think about it."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...hello?"
Azure: "What a strange...."
Julian Sawyer: "I'm not gonna eat it... Garrick, try holding this up to the receiver."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...clowns, banana, makes sense." *He takes the banana and holds it up to the receiver.*
Metal Man (GM): The banana glows mysteriously... the receiver becomes the banana. The receiver appears on the table in its place.
VG: .oO(...a banana phone?)
Julian Sawyer: "...It kinda worked."
Metal Man (GM): You hear more clown music and carnival tunes from the banana phone.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...kinda." *He hangs it up?*
Metal Man (GM): You hang it up. It rings several times.
VG: "...wait a second." *He picks it up.*
Julian Sawyer: "Well, I'm out of ideas."
E Li Three: "Hello. Who's on the line?"
VG: "Hello... who is this? This is VG."
E Li Three: "I am E Li Three."
Garrick Fy`aar snatches the phone from VG.
VG: "HEY!"
E Li Three: "You called me with the phone."
Garrick Fy`aar: "E Li Three, what are you doing around here?"
VG: *Did not hear that.*
E Li Three: "What? I'm a traveling trap salesman. What does it matter to you?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we're just in this trap."
Julian Sawyer: "Ask him for the solution."
E Li Three: "Oh, right. The solution is to eat the receiver. DO NOT touch the mirror."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Okay, I suppose if I ask you for the answer--are you kidding me?"
E Li Three: "No."
Azure: *Blinks* *A talking... device...*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...uhhh... you *Snap snap*...Julian?"
VG really can't believe this...
Garrick Fy`aar: "Eat the receiver."
Julian Sawyer: *Picks up the receiver and flicks it with his index finger.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...go on, eat it."
Metal Man (GM): It's a banana attached to a telephone.
VG wonders if he really is going to eat this...
Garrick Fy`aar: "You mean the thing I'm talking into now, right E Li?"
E Li Three: "Yes."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...well... uhhh... alright." *He peels the banana and chomps down.*
Metal Man (GM): *SUN* *NINTENDUS* *IMPLODE* Garrick suddenly implodes, losing one life.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...ow."
Metal Man (GM): The phone then begins dialing.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...get the mirror."
VG: "Maybe we should have touched the mirror..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Touch it, look into it, just do SOMETHING."
Julian Sawyer: *Already has it and it touching the remains of the banana with it.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian touches the mirror ...An evil, inverted color version of him leaps out and escapes. The mirror then explodes. The phone rings again. Do you pick up the receiver?
Garrick Fy`aar sighs and picks it up.
VG picks up. "For the record, I did NOT touch the mirror."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...hello?"
Julian Sawyer: "You suggested it."
Kuja Tribal: "Who is this calling me now?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "..."
Julian Sawyer: "Jebus."
Kuja Tribal: "My telephone does not ring normally at this time of day."
Julian Sawyer: "Just hang up."
VG: "...sorry about that Kuja. We're in some sort of strange twisted trap room. Have a good day." *Hangs up.*
Metal Man (GM): The phone dials again, and rings.
VG: "...you want it?"
Metal Man (GM): It's now ringing the Brady Bunch theme.
Garrick Fy`aar picks it up THIS time.
Julian Sawyer: *Picks it up this time.*
Metal Man (GM): You two both pick up the phone, and somehow, some weirdo is on the line now.
???: "Who's this?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "I don't know, who's this?"
Julian Sawyer: "Who are you?"
???: "This is the Koholint Island Help Building."
Garrick Fy`aar yanks it away from Julian.
???: "I forgot. Now then, how can I help you?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Er... maybe you can help us. We seem to be in a bit of a... odd... situation."
???: "Eat the greenest object you can find! It shall help you."
Metal Man (GM): The gum is green.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...are you SURE?"
???: "Yes. Dead sure!"
VG just isn't sure of anything.
Julian Sawyer: "Spearmint..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Last time somebody on this phone helped us, I imploded."
???: "Well, I'm better. Because I helped Link save himself from the Wind Fish!"
VG: .oO(Must be some old man...)
Garrick Fy`aar: "...ohhhhhhhhhh."
Julian Sawyer: *Picks up the gum.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "You're... Ohhhhhh... Okay... chew it, Julian..."
Azure: *Just stands there dumbfounded by the odd unfolding events.*
VG looks to Azure. "Confused? So am I."
Editor's Note: I can see it now. The new motto of SSQ: "Confused? So am I."
Julian Sawyer: "Same here." *Unwraps a stick of gum and pops it in his mouth.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Okay, he's chewing the gum... the GREEN gum..."
Julian Sawyer: "Spearmint flavored."
???: "Now, take the other phone receiver, and balance it atop your head."
Julian Sawyer: *Does this.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...right... and then?"
???: "Pour gin on the CD, set it on fire, and then everyone dance the hokey pokey."
Julian Sawyer: *Blows a bubble.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Alright, that does it. Who ARE you?"
???: "I forgot."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...right..."
Julian Sawyer: "I believe he already said that."
Azure: "Hokey... pokey......."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...and you're basing this information on what?"
Julian Sawyer: "Other guy, go back to the last room and look for a bottle of gin."
Azure: .oO(This sounds completely ludicrous...)
Garrick Fy`aar: "There's a bottle of gin right there..."
???: "The gin is on the table."
Julian Sawyer: "...Right." .oO(stupid...)
Azure: *Looks around the room looking for more insight into there situation. True vision attempt. INT checkage.*
Metal Man (GM): You see that you must do what the telephone guy said to get through.
Garrick Fy`aar looks at Azure "...well?"
Julian Sawyer: *Starts pouring the gin on the CD.*
Metal Man (GM): By the magical powers of hokey pokey, a burning CD, spearmint gum, and a balanced receiver, the wall shall open up.
Azure: "Let's just say... we have very little choice in the matter of the talking devices commands..." *Sweatdrop.*
Julian Sawyer: "Who's got a match?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...right. Okay, I've got the CD."
VG starts doing the hokey pokey then... how embarrassing.
Garrick Fy`aar takes out his lighter and lights the CD on fire.
Julian Sawyer: "Not yet... NOW!"
Garrick Fy`aar does the hokey pokey... good lord...
Julian Sawyer: *Hokey Pokey.*
Metal Man (GM): Magical disco lights appear, and the door finally opens.
Julian Sawyer: "You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out..."
Metal Man (GM): ...and Mr. Patch is behind it.
Julian Sawyer: "Finally... Hi."
VG stops.
Mr. Patch: "Welcome to my emporium of random traps!"
Garrick Fy`aar looks... incredulously... at Mr. Patch.
Julian Sawyer: *Takes the receiver off his head. Keeps the gum, though.*
VG: "I never thought you'd enjoy all of these traps."
Mr. Patch: "You have passed several tests of stupidity, random deadliness, and jokes... So... whaddaya want?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "You to do what you do best."
Azure: .oO(They were mildly amusing... all except that odd language... hokey pokey...)
Mr. Patch: "I annoy you until your heads explode like geysers?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Come with us to the stadium and fix up our computers and stuff..."
VG tells Mr. Patch all that happened at the Stadium... which his player doesn't recall all of that.
Mr. Patch: "Oh... you want me to fix that? Sure! All you need is an object related to all those objects, to stop... I mean start."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...try this." *He holds out his wristband Dex.*
Julian Sawyer: *Fishes his Dex out of his pocket.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "It's connected to the stadium."
Azure: .oO(Why he say... stop then start... this day just gets more and more... unusual...)
Mr. Patch: "Thank yee! Now then..."
VG has a feeling he's going to regret this...
Mr. Patch: "In order to fix all of that stuff, you must do a difficult, disgusting, horrid trap attack until your head explodes fun dance ceremony!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...WE have to do it?"
Julian Sawyer: "...Huh?"
Metal Man (GM): http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/Nintendo/n64/mrpatch.mid
Mr. Patch: "Sure! No need for such useless things as servants or safety precautions in my work!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...*Siiigh* alright, let's get this over with... how's it done?"
Mr. PAtch: "Now then... you must all stick bowls on your heads!"
Metal Man (GM): Mr. Patch gestures to a huge amount of bowls on tables.
Julian Sawyer: "...Bowls?"
Azure: "Bowls...."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Just do what he says... it'll be quicker..."
Julian Sawyer: *Picks up a bowl and puts it on his head.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "If Master David could see me now..."
VG puts a bowl on his head.
Azure: *Sighs as he places the bowl on his head.*
Garrick Fy`aar places the bowl on his head.
VG now has two "bowls" so to speak... his hat, and the bowl.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Alright, now what?"
Mr. Patch: "Now... hmmmm... you must mime throwing a bowling ball at a gigantic monster!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...you're making this up on the fly, aren't you?"
Julian Sawyer: "He did say hmmmm."
VG attempts to "mime" this... guessing an INT check is needed?
Mr. Patch: "It works... but it relies on split-second timing!"
Julian Sawyer: *Does it anyway.*
Metal Man (GM): INT check for all.
Garrick Fy`aar is GOD of the bowling ball fake throwing.
Metal Man (GM): VG catches on fire.
VG: "AAAAAAAAAH!"
Mr. Patch: "No no no! All wrong! Now you're on fire!"
VG stops, drops, and rolls.
Julian Sawyer: *LAST LUCKY!*
Metal Man (GM): Julian also catches on fire.
Mr. Patch: "Stop catching on fire!"
Julian Sawyer: "AUGH!"
Garrick Fy`aar does it easily.
Julian Sawyer: *STR.*
VG is trying to stop, drop, and roll here.
Julian Sawyer: *Stop Drop Roll* "Not my fault!"
Metal Man (GM): Azure is also on fire... only Garrick is left un-torched.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...I'm good at this."
Azure: *Begins patting himself rolling and such.*
Mr. Patch: "...Uhhh... then chew on the bowl and climb a rope!"
Metal Man (GM): A rope appears. STR check to do what he says.
Garrick Fy`aar flips the bowl down into his mouth, chewing on it, and starts climbing the rope.
VG recovers from the fire thing hopefully... he attempts to do this silly task.
Julian Sawyer: *Cheesy on a bowl and climbs da rope.*
Metal Man (GM): You climb up... then VG suddenly is hit in the head by three bananas. And then he catches on fire again.
VG: "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" *He stops, drops, and rolls again.*
Azure: .oO(These tasks... they're ridiculous...)
Mr. Patch: "Now... for the final act! Leap head-first into the wall!"
Metal Man (GM): SPD checks, everybody.
VG is going suicidal here... jeez!
Azure: *Closes his eyes.*
Julian Sawyer: *Runs at the wall, yelling at it, and leaps!*
Garrick Fy`aar LEAPS.
Metal Man (GM): Garrick leaps onto the wall, while everyone else suddenly feels itchy and are hit by invisible rocks. *SLAM* Garrick lands on the ground, the series of ridiculous tasks completed.
Garrick Fy`aar shakes his head, standing up.
Mr. Patch: "...That's good enough. All your items are fixed."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I did that PERFECTLY. Please tell me I get something for that weirdness."
VG: "Wait a second. Didn't you used to handle the ceremonies on a mine cart or something?"
Azure: "I think... a moment..." *He kneels...*
VG: .oO(This is going WAY too far...)
Mr. Patch: "Mine carts are old. Ropes and pottery and walls are far better! Now... for your troubles... everything is fixed!"
VG: "Thank you."
Julian Sawyer: "...Ok..."
VG: .oO(Okay, this is too easy... mean... where is the boss?)
Mr. Patch: "Now... you may leave."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Right." *He clips his Dex onto his wrist* "Mewtwo, come in."
VG heads out of the cave... this is just TOO easy.
Mewtwo: "Yes?"
Julian Sawyer: *Exits the damned cave.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "What's the status on the stadium computers?" *He walks out as well.*
Mewtwo: "They're all up."
Azure: *Bows good day and then leaves.*
Metal Man (GM): You go outside...
Garrick Fy`aar: "Good... never have us do that again."
Metal Man (GM): E Li Three is there.
E Li Three: "Ahah! I have caught you!"
VG: "...pardon?"
E Li Three: "It's time to get you for cheating!"
Metal Man (GM): http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/Nintendo/snes/B1L_som_the_oracle_XG.mid
Editor's Note: Or for some more insane modern day flavor, google the modern day Remake's Alternate version!
Garrick Fy`aar draws his gun and fires a round at the ground at E Li's feet.
VG: "What did we do wrong exactly?"
E Li Three: "Ultimate banana disco mode, activate! You called that cheater guy who lives in a dream! And now... you must pie for it!"
VG: "I didn't call him... heck, I didn't even answer the phone when that happened!"
Julian Sawyer: "..."
VG: "I got Kuja!"
E Li Three: "Silence!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Look, I don't care about this. I just want to go BACK to the stadium and drink myself silly."
Metal Man (GM): A pie flies into VG's face, casting the 'Sealed' effect on him.
E Li Three: "No drinks for you! Only imploding bananas! Hahahahahahaha!"
Garrick Fy`aar immediately slams a new clip into his gun.
Metal Man (GM): *CRAZY BATTLE!*
Garrick Fy`aar: "You've just made a big mistake, slick."
VG doesn't think E Li Three is supposed to be this... silly...
Metal Man (GM): E Li Three vs. The Questers
Julian Sawyer: *Spits his gum at E Li Three.*
VG has been pied.. oO(I feel like one of those kid guys on some crazy slime-filled television show...)
Metal Man (GM): One second.
E Li Three: "Take this, idiot sasquatch medieval super can opener! Disco Disk Discover Duditatious Duration Dumbness!"
Metal Man (GM): He fires a bunch of burning Disco CDs and lasers from a disco ball at VG. 10% fire damage per hit... and you need to do an INT check, VG. VG is confused and blinded.
E Li Three: "And now... taste the fury of gin!"
Metal Man (GM): SPD checks, everybody! All who get 18 or lower: 77% fire damage!
Garrick Fy`aar: "Dahh...*Growl*...you are soooo dead."
VG is not affected by the alcohol. He is still blinded and confused and sealed though...
E Li Three: "I'm already dead. Dolphins forever!"
Azure: .oO(What...)
Metal Man (GM): He starts doing a bad disco dance.
Julian Sawyer: *Activate Power Rush!*
Garrick Fy`aar reaches into his jacket and pulls out a HUGE gun. He cracks his neck, smirks, and presses a button. The gun slowly makes a low charging sound before a small shot fires from it and slams into E Li... nothing's happening... *That is until E Li is sucked at from the INSIDE, cutting his HP in half!*
E Li Three: "What is this? Take this, evil imploding thing!" *Eats a banana, and explodes, regaining the lost HP.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Damn..."
E Li Three: "Ripoffer! Only I can implode things!"
Garrick Fy`aar uses his other two actions to fire a pair of flashbangs at him.
E Li Three: "With the imploding banana!"
Metal Man (GM): Hit and hit. He's slow as mustard.
E Li Three: "|/|3!"
Metal Man (GM): He glows... A text appears over him. 'Super Duper Ultimate Special Effect Power Increase of Doom Activated +1337 11111!!!ONEONEONE'
E Li Three: "All right! Super duper ultimate special effect power increase of doom!"
VG hasn't even had a turn yet... and yet this guy is trying to cheat or something?!?
Metal Man (GM): He suddenly splits into three.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Stupid... it's like you're hacking a computer!"
VG is confused, sealed, AND blinded...
E Li Three: "Life is a bowl of candy. DEFEAT ALL TASTY MARSHAMALLOWS!"
Metal Man (GM): All three of them are dancing to the annoying music.
VG gets out...
Azure: .oO(I couldn't be more confused in my life...)
Metal Man (GM): You attack Garrick with whatever item you bring out.
VG ends up giving Garrick... an Energizer?
Garrick Fy`aar smirks.
E Li Three: "Curse you, Mr. Toad! I'm going to have to run you down with your wild ride!"
VG is just SO confused... he figures what the heck... he just randomly picks something else up... He just flings the X Accuracy to...
E Li Three: "All hail the McNuggets! Hahahahaahahahaha ha bork boork bork bawk bawk nanananana BATMAN MASTER!"
Metal Man (GM): You throw it at E Li Three. Above him appears...
'OMG ACCURACY INCREASE'
E Li Three: "I rock! Yes! Totally! ROCK ROCK ROCK!!!!" *All three of him are dancing now* "Ring around the rosie, oops, Chozo ate the posies!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...would somebody HIT this guy with something, already?!"
VG just moves around almost groggily...
E Li Three: "Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle bells, Jingle Bells..."
Metal Man (GM): He's highly aggravating.
Azure: .oO(Ok this thing guy is getting on my nerves...)
Metal Man (GM): Mr. Saturns are fleeing as the madman is dancing and saying 'Jingle Bells' 10,000 times.
Julian Sawyer: *Smacks VG upside the head* "Snap out of it! You just gave an item to the enemy."
Metal Man (GM): Julian: Roll a regular attack check. VG dodges you while in a stupor.
Julian Sawyer: *Tries again.*
VG somehow avoids it due to his confusion. (AC is 13 right now due to blindness) He [un]luckily avoids that.
Julian Sawyer: "Stay still!"
Wolfman eventually gets sent to the battlefield... (SPD 16)
E Li Three: "Jingle bells to you, Catwoman!"
Wolfman warps in... oh brother; what has E Li Three done now?
Azure: "Stares E Li three down" *Mimic!*
Wolfman: "...what the hell has happened here?"
Metal Man (GM): Azure: You suddenly gain a new status affect: Super-Confuse. You are now prone to doing completely absurd things for no reason. Each time you roll to attack, you must say something random, then roll a dice to see who you hit. It cannot be cured, either; on the good side, all attacks deal double damage. You may do your second attack while under the affects of this disorder.
E Li Three: "Heheahahaheheahehahah Four Score and fifteen lemmings tomorrow, flying doorframes will inherit our nation's puddle bowling ball treasury. We must make the disco aliens surrender..."
Azure: "RI, RI, RI, RI! ROYAL BUCKERS!" *Attacks with tornado drill.*
Metal Man (GM): You attack Wolfman.
Wolfman dodges, ducks, dives, dips, and dodges those.
Azure: "DESH DESH..."
Wolfman wonder who needs help first... he doubts Azure can be cured... but VG? ...nah; let him be like that for once. He focuses on E Li Three... Swords Dancing time! He is going to get abused after that 4th slice...
Metal Man (GM): All but 1 hit... the one that crit misses prompts part 2 of the madness!
E Li Three: "Heheahahahaha! VACUUM TIME! OVAH! WAH! PALM BEACH DIABLO Mucho BOX!"
Metal Man (GM): He runs up and sticks a vacuum to your head. Roll a d(Number of item types yer carrying, minus badges and weapons) to see what he steals. If anything. He steals your subtank.
E Li Three: "Yes! I can feel the power! Hehehahaahahahahaa!"
Wolfman is too sucky to finish his turn.
E Li Three: "The music, grooviness... Jim Jango Jarafatt Jalopy attack!"
Metal Man (GM): He starts dancing... and gains a new attack!
VG watches the dancing...
Metal Man (GM): 'E Li Three has gained: Bowyer Magick!'
E Li Three: "It's time for some random disabling fun! Groovy!"
Metal Man (GM): He then shoots an arrow at Garrick.
Garrick Fy`aar is able to get away JUST in the nick of time.
E Li Three: "Dah!" **
Garrick Fy`aar: "...whew..." *He growls and unloads on the idiot with a flurry of shots from his M150, regular, armor piercing rounds (I changed the incendiary to armor piercing cause you never took it as fire damage anyway. My regular shot out of my grenade launcher is fire damage)*
Metal Man (GM): All of those hit, as he runs into the shots intentionally.
E Li Three: "Ah yes! I can feel the damage!"
VG: *Action 1: random item and random person... #5 gets X Accuracy.*
Metal Man (GM): Azure gets X accuracy. +5 to all attacks for five rounds for Azure!
VG loves tossing these things... he ends up tossing his hat... the hat somehow turns into a shield... *#3 gets Toad Shield and +6 AC.*
Metal Man (GM): Next target: VG! VG makes himself even harder to hit.
VG catches it.
Julian Sawyer: *Tries smacking VG around again.*
Metal Man (GM): And he's so lucky, the attack instantly misses!
Julian Sawyer: *Decides to try and pick up VG and throw him at E Li Three.*
Metal Man (GM): You must hit VG first.
VG: *El ducko.*
Metal Man (GM): Ouch. You... barely miss.
Azure: "Pink Pink Pink. King Bo's pink power poy!" *He rushes at Wolfman with Bozen smash.*
Wolfman can't avoid this one. He gets Bozen smashed to the ground or something.
Azure: "GAH GAH GAH ! DANGUF WADI WADDLES!"
Azure: *Oddly attempts to grab himself with impact bounder. 40% to myself...+5 on my own next attack... Done.*
Metal Man (GM): Azure dies; he revives, but not super confused... he's still gonna miss an action next round, though.
Wolfman breathes a sigh of relief... somewhat. He goes to the three Kuja's and attempts to sweep them all. (technically allowed here; rolling 3 for the three)
Metal Man (GM): Three... Kuja's? Hit critmiss hit.
E Li Three: "Avast! A missing person on the port bow! Ultimate Pumpkin assault!"
Metal Man (GM): Did that miss?
Wolfman doesn't get pumpkined.
E Li Three: "Yes! It missed!"
Wolfman: .oO(...you've changed)
'NUMBER TWO MAGICAL POWER ACTIVATED'
Wolfman: *Skipping action two... doing action three now He decides to just smash left hook the middle guy.*
Metal Man (GM): Hit. Esprinto poofs in. His turn.
E Li Three: "Hello. I am the master of disco! JHA JHA JAH HUNGO!!!!"
Wolfman turns to Esprinto. "...for once, you might be useful here. Attack that guy." *Points to E Li Three... and two clones.*
Esprinto: "OK! Uh... just a sec."
VG is now rolling around like crazy... still confused.
Metal Man (GM): Hit.
E Li Three: "I have felt the upper cut! Ohnoz! Ohnoz! My lip is cut upper! Jingle bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells... Jingle bells! JINGLEEEEEEEEEEE Erk. Moo. Kow. Moo Kow Fung Moo Klondike Bar!"
Wolfman doesn't recall E Li Three always being like this...
Esprinto: *Poof.*
E Li Three: "Ultimate... super... duper... ultimate attack of doom!" *Walks up to Garrick... turns his face away... and gingerly pokes him in the forehead.*
Metal Man (GM): Garrick suddenly explodes into eighteen thousand pieces, which then also explode repeatedly. And then all of those pieces explode. Garrick: -1 life.
Esprinto: "That looked painful."
E Li Three: "Haha!"
Garrick Fy`aar returns, looking steamed. He growls and unloads a whole bunch of armor piercing dumdum rounds.
Metal Man (GM): All of those hit. Even the eight. He's... not dead.
E Li Three: "Ow! Ow! My hair!"
VG: *Still pulling random stuff now who gets the X Defend?*
Metal Man (GM): VG does!
VG tosses the X Defend in the air... and catches it.
Metal Man (GM): *VG is amplifying his defense like a madman.*
VG then feels like he wants to get in on the action... he jumps up in the air, yells a karate yell... He goes after KUJA!
Julian Sawyer: *E LI THREE.*
Metal Man (GM): Kuja?
VG is confused; remember?
Metal Man (GM): I have a feeling your brain is as broken as mine is. Oh... right.
VG goes after big bad guy.
E Li Three: "Good work, slave! Pathetic weak attack of death -10!"
Esprinto: "What?!?!?!"
Metal Man (GM): *E Li Three glows with energy, as the sun and the moon fly out of the sky and explode on VG.* VG dodges the attack... somehow...
Julian Sawyer: *Takes his Fedora off his head, and squeezes the feather. A blade pops out of the brim, and then Julian throws it, twice at each E Li Three.*
Metal Man (GM): All hit. Even the four. E Li three suddenly explodes.
E Li Three: "Oh noez! My power poptart has been eaten!"
Julian Sawyer: *Catches the hat on the return and places it back on his head.*
Metal Man (GM): A slot machine appears. It begins spinning. What do you do? You can exit... or touch the slot machine.
Julian Sawyer: *Throws a rock at it.*
Metal Man (GM): ...It glows. 552% damage to everybody as it shoots lasers. Then it explodes as well.
Julian Sawyer: *KA-DEAD.*
Wolfman wants to slot it... YOU IDIOT!
Esprinto: *Dies.*
Metal Man (GM): Everyone gains 777 EXP from this battle.
Azure: *Gets up only to be smacked right back down.*
VG somehow avoids this even while confused, blinded, sealed, etc.
Metal Man (GM): Anyone who lost all their lives only gets 130 EXP. If you were going to run, and your name starts with a G, roll a SPD check.
Garrick Fy`aar: *that was my LAST LIFE!*
Wolfman: *BOOM Boom boom boom...*
Metal Man (GM): Okay... you flee seconds before everybody else is nuked by lasers.
VG wasn't *Points to the lucky day.*
Metal Man (GM): ...VG also avoids it. *Untold minutes, seconds, days, and hours later.*
VG is STILL confused, blinded, and sealed, though...
Metal Man (GM): You're all back at HQ... which has been fixed. You're all healed, too.
Julian Sawyer: "Well, that was interesting."
Mewtwo: "...Never mention the last mission again."
Julian Sawyer: *Still chewing the gum.*
Mewtwo: "...It... hurts my brain..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Damn straight..."
VG and Wolfman chuckle at that.
Wolfman: *EXP: 20789/21000 for those that wonder about Wolfman. He still doesn't have his subtank anymore...*

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