Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 186: Wandering in the Desert: Part I: Klumsy's Tomb of Doom
Date: 7:06:48 PM, April 16th; 9:13:42 PM, April 17th, 2005.
Mr. Game and Watch: *Hands Esprinto two KeroKero Kolas.*
Esprinto heads to the big room.
Metal Man: "Zzzzz..."
Tetra plays a video game on his gauntlet. "Installing a GBA into this thing was a stroke of genius."
Metal Man is now sleeping on top of a map. "Zzzzz..."
Esprinto steps into the room.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Metal... METAL!"
Esprinto: "What up."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Wake up, we're all here."
Metal Man: "Huh? What? Something is what?" *He gets up and almost eats an eraser.* "Oh... right... sorry... you took so long, I just thought I'd take a nap... Now then... for the mission."
Aribar taps his foot... "... Those are for erasing, not eating... At least usually."
Esprinto: "Right..."
Metal Man gets out a map.
Tetra looks up. "What? Let me save..."
Esprinto: "Hurry up... I wanna crack some skulls."
Metal Man: "You must explore the ruins of Klumsy's Holo Tomb. Well... Esprinto, you just got your wish."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...exCUSE me?"
Esprinto: "Soooeeet."
Aribar: "Huh... Went there before. It was deserted."
Digifanatic almost groans. "Here we go..."
Tetra saves the game and turns it off. "Who's whato what?"
Metal Man points to a picture of a Dry Bones... a literal walking skeleton.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Klumsy's Holo Tomb?"
Metal Man: "There's a Magitek orb there."
Esprinto: "He looks... stupid!"
Metal Man: "We need them to defeat Kuja."
Tetra: "Magitek! Let's go!"
Aribar: "...Hrm... Is it possible that Wily's robot is there as well? That Klumsy-bot?"
Julian Sawyer: *Walks in all of a sudden* "What's up?"
Metal Man: "...Good question."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Or Klumsy himself?"
Esprinto: "Can we just get goin'?"
Digifanatic: "We gotta go to the Holo Tomb."
Metal Man: "Klumsy himself? Are you silly? I don't think he's there..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "For all we know, he might be."
Esprinto taps his foot.
Julian Sawyer: "Holo Tomb?"
Tetra groans at Esprinto's comment. "Five seconds ago you were the one keeping us waiting!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Think about it. It's KLUMSY."
Metal Man: "The person I've known longer than you've been a Quester."
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...true. Alright, let's get go then..."
Digifanatic: "Might as well."
Aribar starts towards the Warp Room.
Metal Man: "I have a feeling he moved on... Now then... to the warp device place!"
Garrick Fy`aar heads that way as well.
Metal Man walks towards the warp room.
Esprinto goes to the warp room and gets ready to leap in.
Tetra walks alongside Metal.
Digifanatic heads to the warp.
Aribar: "If you have any blunt weapons, maces, clubs, use them. I find sharp weapons weak against undead monsters."
Julian Sawyer: "I have no idea what's going on..." *Follows the others...*
Tetra: "Do you think we'll face that Crodus guy there? Remember, he wants the magitek too..."
Esprinto: "Any baddies in there are gonna regret the day that they messed with a Duranian knight!"
Digifanatic: "Wouldn't be surprised."
Aribar flinches as he hears that name. "Hopefully not."
Metal Man: "One never knows." *He activates the warp... FLASH.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "I think all we need to worry about is what Klumsy left in his wake..."
Metal Man (GM): *FLASH.*
Esprinto leaps in.
Metal Man (GM): Everyone appears in the main hallway of Klumsy's holo tomb. It looks like a holo projector room... except it's dark. Dank. Unused.
Esprinto: "Lets do this!"
Metal Man: "Now then... this place is full of booby traps."
Julian Sawyer: *Sneezes.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Shhh!"
Esprinto: "Ooh... sorry."
Aribar takes out the Wand of Wonder.
Julian Sawyer: "It's dusty in here..."
Tetra: "Amazing. I could try to activate the machines... we might be able to turn off the traps..."
Metal Man: "If you thought Egyptians were mad about protecting their stuff, Klumsy makes them all weep. You know... he ran challenges, right?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "I remember the Bronze challenge..."
Digifanatic: "...yeah."
Metal Man: "All the stuff from there can be used to protect here."
Tetra: "So... activating machines bad?"
Esprinto: "Lets go hurt people."
Aribar shudders, remembered that armadillo in the mecha.
Metal Man: "Activating machines? More likely to be pointless. They're long defunct, and were operated by a ghost."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Let's just go... we need to find this magitek orb..."
Tetra: "Ah. Alright then. Do we even know where this thing may be?"
Metal Man: "Now then... no."
Tetra: "I had a feeling you'd say that."
Metal Man points to a door on the left, and a door on the right. "Which way should we go? No splitting up..."
Garrick Fy`aar presses a button on his Mark 5. His clothes shimmery and his HEXS armor takes it's place.
Esprinto: "Right."
Digifanatic: "Yeah..."
Metal Man: "Right?"
Julian Sawyer: "Always fo' right..."
Aribar: "Eenie meenie miine moo..."
Esprinto: "Duh."
Aribar: "Right."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Well, if memory serves, the leftward doors had the easy challenges while the rightward doors had the tougher stuff... ...well, never mess with a... such and such Wizard and his logic. Right it is."
Tetra: "Then shouldn't we go left?"
Digifanatic: "I wouldn't be surprised if he mixed things up, though."
Esprinto: "Right dude."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Let's just go."
Metal Man: "Right it is." *He enters the right way.*
Digifanatic: "Alright."
Esprinto hums.
Digifanatic follows.
Aribar follows Metal.
Garrick Fy`aar walks up to the right door, entering as well.
Esprinto follows.
Tetra takes any machines in the holo projector room that aren't nailed down and follows to the right.
Julian Sawyer: *Heads for the right.*
Metal Man (GM): The next room... has a golden apple on a platform.
Esprinto: "It'll be a little funny if we fight robots..."
Digifanatic: "Oh, Tetra... one thing about that EMP thing."
Metal Man (GM): There's three tons of tiles along the way. What do you do?
Esprinto: "...Break everything?"
Tetra: "Golden apple... must be a trap."
Julian Sawyer: "Can anyone fly?"
Esprinto: "I can."
Tetra hears Digi. "Eh? What about my EMP?"
Digifanatic: "Ah, don't worry. Makes no sense in the end."
Metal Man: "...I'm not flying down there."
Aribar looks about the room, trying to see where the exit is...
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Hmmmm..."
Aribar: "I can repeatedly teleport in the air for about two minutes max..."
Metal Man (GM): The exit is on the other side of the room.
Esprinto: "I can fly..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Don't fly..."
Tetra takes a step onto one of the tiles to see what happens.
Julian Sawyer: "Go get the apple then."
Metal Man (GM): The distance is 50 feet.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Klumsy would have thought of that..."
Metal Man (GM): *STAB* A tile stabs Tetra... with a spike! The spike impales Tetra's foot for 10 damage.
Aribar hrms..."
Tetra: "AGGHHHH!!! My foot!"
Esprinto: "Well... I got an idea."
Aribar steps back and gets near the right wall...
Tetra pulls his foot up and jumps around on his other foot... AWAY from the tiles...
Metal Man: "...This is why I do not walk in such places..."
Aribar: "Time to do something stupid!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Ari, watch yourself..."
Julian Sawyer: "Esprinto, go get the apple..."
Tetra holds his foot and leans back against the wall.
Garrick Fy`aar leans down and examines the tiles more closely. Patterns, colors, shapes, whatever...
Metal Man (GM): The tiles all look the same.
Aribar hrms, first wondering how much space is between the beginning of the room and where Tetra found the first trap.
Metal Man (GM): 10 feet.
Esprinto: "Let's set off all the tiles at once then haul butt across as they are goin' down."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...how about not?"
Metal Man: "With who's dead body?"
Esprinto: "I was thinkin' Tetra..."
Garrick Fy`aar draws his M150 and fires a few normal rounds into random squares...
Esprinto chuckles.
Digifanatic: "Oh no... not this again."
Tetra tries to see if he can still walk on his foot.
Metal Man (GM): ...SPD check, Garrick. Tetra: You can walk... it's just painful.
Aribar shakes his head... His initial idea won't work... The elf also casts Minor Healing on Tetra.
Metal Man (GM): *STAB* A spike stabs Garrick from behind... 10 damage.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...OW! How did that happen??"
Aribar: "Don't shoot anything... I'm jumping across."
Tetra: "Hey, my foot's better! Thanks, Mr. elf!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "You do that..."
Metal Man: "Are you insane?"
Aribar: "No problem."
Esprinto: "Guys... I think we should have taken the left door."
Tetra: "I wonder if my EMP could deactivate this trap?"
Garrick Fy`aar tries to get the size of the pillar holding the apple...
Metal Man (GM): It's about 3 feet tall, 1 foot wide.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Nah, it's probably magic...50 feet..."
Esprinto: "You think we could make it across... I have a few KeroKero colas..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Don't waste those."
Metal Man: "We couldn't live long being impaled on spikes."
Aribar decides to go with his initial idea after all. The elf dashes along the right wall and then tries to bring his legs up and run across the wall's surface (like the Prince in POP: SoT and WW). The elf tries to go under he starts to dip down then jump towards the middle of the chamber.
Tetra: "I wonder. If we ran as fast as we can, could we make it you think?"
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: SPD check, first.
Esprinto: "Hmmm..."
Metal Man (GM): Wow... +8 to first run check. Another SPD check. +8. Spikes fly out of the wall, barely missing you.
Garrick Fy`aar whistles as he watches Ari go...
Metal Man (GM): Now... a STR check.
Digifanatic: "Almost reminds me of Sonic.Z."
Esprinto: "Wow."
Metal Man (GM): *STAB* a spike slices you as you cross... 10 damage, -2 to next run check.
Esprinto: "Oooh..." *He cringes.*
Aribar loses some momentum, but tries to continue running as he ignores the pain.
Tetra gasped. "Keep running!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "He'll make it..."
Metal Man (GM): ...Do you lucky that?
Aribar doesn't lucky, or get stabbed... He hopes.
Metal Man (GM): Do you still not lucky, even with your luckies back?
Aribar tries to Magic Teleport farther down the hallway. He'll go up to 15 feet forward.
Metal Man (GM): INT check... -5, as five spears impale you for 50 more damage.
Esprinto hums carelessly.
Digifanatic: "This is almost insane..."
Aribar: *... Lucky.*
Metal Man (GM): *WARP* You land almost on the edge... you get another stab through the leg, for 10 more damage... but you made it.
Esprinto: "I am not in... oh you said THIS is almost... never mind..."
Tetra: "He made it!...kinda... Are you alright, Mr. Elf guy?"
Metal Man: "That's the most deadly spike trap I've ever seen."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...hmm... Dex, what's the story on the apple?"
Aribar pants and sits down in the nearest corner. "I'm stabbed in a dozen places, but okay!"
Metal Man (GM): Garrick is stabbed by three spikes for 30 damage.
Garrick Fy`aar: "DAH! Jeez..."
Aribar: "...And I'll kill the person who finds the easy way through!"
Metal Man: "Remember, Klumsy half MADE the dex."
Aribar casts Minor Healing on himself thrice.
Digifanatic: "I don't think there is an easy way."
Metal Man: "So he obviously wouldn't let people cheat with it."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Right... okay... I'm going for it."
Tetra: "For the apple? Maybe it'll turn this off... or maybe we'll all get killed..."
Esprinto: "I say get the apple..."
Metal Man: "...You're also nuts... but... now... maybe the apple means something?"
Tetra: "No! I'm too intelligent to die!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Klumsy put it there for a REASON. And if it's in the middle of THIS trap, it's got to be important."
Esprinto: "Do it Garrick... Tetra... chill."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Wish me luck... I'll need it..."
Tetra: "Then... good luck." *He covers himself with his arms.*
Metal Man: "I can't watch..."
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: Tell me how you will try to get through the trap, then I'll tell you the appropriate rolls.
Garrick Fy`aar goes to the opposite wall Ari used... takes a moment to judge...
Esprinto: "Good luck...*Whisper* I call his stuff if he dies."
Aribar crosses his arms and watches the show! Heh...
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: You can also do stuff with the golden apple... if you dare.
Aribar leaves it alone.
Tetra: "Garrick! Shoot the apple!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Nah, that'd just do it worse... buut..." *He gets an idea... He draws the M150. He presses a switch and readies himself. He is just going to plain BOOK over the ground... wall run if he needs to... *With a dumdum shot save when he jumps for the end...* *
Esprinto: "So Tetra... seen any good movies lately?"
Tetra: "Movies? Uh... not really."
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: You cross 29 feet. Roll for the jump... You make 45 feet..... Do you lucky or not?
Garrick Fy`aar uses his dumdums to get him the extra nudge...
Esprinto: "If he fails, I am taking the left door..."
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: Avoids spike death. Good. Wall. Bad. *CRASH* 10 damage. Garrick made it safely.
Tetra: "He made it. Well... can I try something?"
Metal Man (GM): You can touch the apple, now. Do you touch it?
Aribar: "...You may wanna avoid the wall next time."
Garrick Fy`aar gulps... then... touches it.
Metal Man (GM): *Shine* Garrick and the apple are incinerated. Garrick reappears at the start, minus one life.
Esprinto: "Well."
Aribar chuckles.
Metal Man (GM): The apple reappears on the pedestal.
Garrick Fy`aar: "DAHH!!! Blasted evil Klumsy!"
Metal Man: "...Do not touch the apple. The apple hates j00."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Shut it, Metal!"
Esprinto: "HAHAAHAHA."
Aribar: "...Rewind!" *The elf tries to create an Illusion of that happening again.*
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: You see yourself grab the apple, then get incinerated by flames.
Esprinto falls on the ground laughing at Garrick."YOU GOT COOKED!"
Metal Man: "Now then... anyone else going to cross?"
Tetra: "I guess we just have to sprint across. I'll go."
Garrick Fy`aar slowly turns to Esprinto. He unhinges the Einhammer and jams it right in his face.
Tetra: "Please don't let me die... please don't let me die..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "You wanna laugh again, smart guy?"
Tetra runs straight across, down the middle.
Esprinto: "Well... it was funny..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...you try running across that hell then." *He holsters the Einhammer and takes off after Tetra, booking.*
Metal Man (GM): Tetra: Two SPD checks. Check 1: Goodtastic. Check 2: Good as well.
Esprinto stands up and takes a sprinting stance, "Come on baby... gods of Durania, be with me now..." Esprinto takes off running.
Metal Man (GM): One last check, Tetra: Jump check.
Julian Sawyer: "...Esp, can't you fly?"
Esprinto slides to a stop, "Oh yeah..."
Metal Man (GM): Tetra makes it perfectly. And Garrick makes it... 38... one jump for you, Garrick.
Tetra takes a stance with one hand raised. "Ta da!"
Esprinto crouches, "Durania! Give me wings!" Jumps in the air to fly.
Metal Man (GM): Garrick flies into the wall. He went 14 feet too far... and takes 20 damage from a wall-faceplant. But he's still in the right spot. Esprinto: Flying is great... until ten thousand spikes hit you from above. *Painful death.*
Tetra cringes at the bloody death. "Ouch..."
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Digifanatic: "Yup... Klumsy tales no prisoners..."
Julian Sawyer: "Well, it was worth a shot."
Esprinto: "Ow..."
Digifanatic decides to go for the run, a bit of a hindrance of statistics.
Metal Man (GM): Esprinto is revived at the start, minus a life.
Esprinto: "Well... time to run..."
Metal Man (GM): Digi: A jump to complete that.
Esprinto bolts , trying to make it across He tries to run across now..."
Metal Man (GM): Digi makes the crossing perfectly. Two SPD checks, Esprinto. And a jump... hope for a magical jump!
Tetra comments sarcastically, "With a name like Esprinto, you'd think he'd be faster."
Metal Man (GM): Esprinto: Welcome to shredded beef land. Population:You. You reappear at the correct end, now... but yer at one life.
Tetra cringes at yet another bloody death. He asks Esprinto, "Dying hurts, huh, guy?"
Esprinto: "Shut it."
Metal Man: "Oh! I discovered how to defuse the trap!"
Esprinto: "...WHAT!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...oh, I bet you have..."
Julian Sawyer: "...Right, I might as well try to get across now... You did?"
Metal Man taps a tile with his axe. A spike comes up. He kicks the spike, breaking it. He then repeats this, breaking a straight line from the beginning to the end.
Esprinto: "I am gonna wring yer neck..."
Digifanatic: "I swear if you do that to use one more time..."
Tetra: "I say we shove him into the tiles."
Metal Man: "What? If you had waited, I could have thought it up."
Julian Sawyer: "Thanks for that, Mets." *Walks across.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Uh huh. Methinks you just want to watch us get shredded into ground beef."
Digifanatic just shrugs it off.
Esprinto: "..."
Metal Man: "What? If I did, Klumsy made me."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Bull."
Editor's Note: Real reason: It's called a trap, guys. When you fail so hard at figuring it out, I have to bail you out to continue the game. Would you have preferred all dying?
Esprinto: "I am at one life... AND NOW YOU FIGURE IT OUT!"
Metal Man (GM): There's two doors to choose from. Straight... or left.
Julian Sawyer: "Which is why I waited."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Shut up, Julian." *He heads for the left door.*
Aribar: "Don't worry... For a fee I'll revive you, Esprinto." *The elf gets up from his corner and chuckles.*
Esprinto: "How much..."
Aribar ignores the question and follows Garrick.
Tetra: "I have to say, being a Quester is great. Not being able to die for good is a real plus." *He follows Garrick through the left door.*
Julian Sawyer: "And how."
Metal Man goes into the left.
Metal Man (GM): This room... is very interesting.
Julian Sawyer: *It's the Left Show!*
Tetra: "But dying still hurts. I still hurt from the last time I died..."
Metal Man (GM): There is a chain... a golden chain...
Esprinto follows."
Digifanatic follows as normal.
Esprinto: "Aribar... how much?"
Metal Man (GM): Which says 'Pull for cash'
Editor's Note: Future me is here to note that said trap idea was made by Kinnin! Kinnin, someone none of you know. But if he ever reads this, he won't be as angry as if I didn't credit him! Though he'd be pretty mad I don't curse all the time.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Do... not... pull it."
Tetra: "That's gotta be a trick."
Garrick Fy`aar: "It's too obvious not to be."
Esprinto: "Tetra you pull it... I'll wait in the other room..."
Metal Man (GM): Then... there's a panel with three tons of buttons on it. All of random colors.
Tetra walks over to the panel.
Aribar: "...Since it is so obvious maybe it isn't a trap... Not everything is a trap you know."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Right then, you pull it."
Digifanatic: "Yeah... mind manipulation."
Metal Man (GM): The panel has no labels. Just flashing, colored buttons.
Garrick Fy`aar looks around the room for a clue...
Esprinto: "Anyone have telekinesis?"
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: You see a third, and final weird thing in the room. It is... a sliding puzzle.
Aribar walks over and pulls the chain... He stands away from a chute if there is one.
Julian Sawyer: "...I hate those things."
Metal Man (GM): Aribar is killed by the ensuing millions of coins which flatten him. The coins then disappear.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Garrick Fy`aar nods as he glances to Ari getting crushed. "...told you so."
Digifanatic: "So much for manipulation."
Tetra pokes Ari's body. "Ew. It's all gooey..."
Garrick Fy`aar walks up to the puzzle and tries to solve it...
Esprinto: "That musta hurt..."
Aribar comes back on a revival platform. "Well, at least it isn't false advertisement... And yes, it did... A lot."
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: 10 INT checks. You deal all of those checks put together damage to yourself.
Garrick Fy`aar: *...Metal, why do you hate me?*
Editor's Note: Actually the puzzle chooses no specific victim, except those who self-select to interact with it.
Metal Man: "...Gah! Electrified sliding puzzle!"
Julian Sawyer: "Which is exactly why I don't like 'em."
Aribar: "..."
Tetra: "Do we have anyone immune to electricity here?"
Aribar: "I am!"
Esprinto: "Nope..."
Metal Man: "Electricity burns!"
Tetra: "Mr. Elf guy? You do it then!"
Digifanatic: "I can use electricity, but am not immune..."
Metal Man (GM): The control panel full of buttons is left, untouched.
Aribar walks over and tries to move a single puzzle piece...
Garrick Fy`aar gets hurt, then goes back to full health. His suit of armor hums.
Julian Sawyer: "If only we had Gibby..."
Esprinto: "Or a rubber suit..."
Digifanatic: .oO(I knew that had to be said...)
Tetra pushes one of the buttons on the panel.
Metal Man (GM): Tetra: You suddenly explode. -1 life... but!
Esprinto: "Ouch..."
Metal Man (GM): The doors ahead open! One forward... one to the right. And Aribar is healed for 17 HP.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...forward."
Metal Man: "...What... so we had to trigger each trap to go forward?"
Tetra returns on the platform and blinks. "What just happened?"
Aribar: "...Do you think we can take this console with us?"
Digifanatic groans at the insanity Klumsy has put us through.
Metal Man: "It'd be unplugged from the console, then."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'm going to kill that koopa if he isn't already dead."
Digifanatic: "Dare I say immoral?"
Aribar: "Bleh. I say we go through the right door."
Tetra sees exploded chunks everywhere, including his own glasses. "Oh... that explains it..."
Metal Man: "He's dead, duh. I think he isn't even in this realm."
Garrick Fy`aar pulls out a coin. He flips it into the air.
Metal Man: "And I think he could kill any of us with a wink."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Call it."
Metal Man: "Tails always wins!"
Garrick Fy`aar meant Ari to guess.
Digifanatic: "Probably me, especially our history..."
Esprinto: "Lets just go..."
Aribar: "...Heads."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Heads. We go right."
Metal Man: "Sounds good."
Garrick Fy`aar pockets the coin and walks into the right doorway.
Tetra: "Right!"
Esprinto follows.
Metal Man follows.
Digifanatic follows again.
Aribar follows the parade.
Tetra follows right.
Metal Man (GM): The next room... you discover the most diabolical trap of all! A giant banana! ...Just kidding. The door locks behind you. All that's in this room... is a single Dry bones.
Digifanatic: "I hate that sound..."
Tetra: "Kill it!" *He blasts the Dry Bones.*
Esprinto: "I got a blunt weapon."
Digifanatic: "DAH! No!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Hold it..."
Metal Man (GM): The Dry Bones is unharmed... and comes to life!
Digifanatic: "And here come 10 of his buddies."
Dry Bones: "Haaaark aaaaaaaaaaaak! You haaaave disturbed my bonesssssss!!!"
Tetra: "...darn it..."
Aribar: "I hate the undead..."
Esprinto: "Oooh... friendly..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...ten coins says that's the undead Klumsy."
Dry Bones: "Whaaaaaat? I'm noooot thaaat guyyyy!!! My sheeeel is greeeeeeeeeennnn!!!"
Esprinto: "Why can't they be robots?"
Dry Bones 1: "WooooOOOoooOO!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar starts off with a single blast from his STAT 43...
Metal Man (GM): You hit it... three times! And you deal... 0 damage... three times! And... it doesn't get any status effects... three times!
Metal Man: "...Those darts don't penetrate bones..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Then let's try armor piercing bullets." *He busts the thing with a round of regular, armor piercing rounds, then a round of dumdums.*
Metal Man (GM): The first 5 times... you deal nothing to it... five times! Then, the second two, it throws two... UNDODGABLE bones, each of which do 30 damage. 60 total damage to Garrick.
Aribar rushes over and smacks the Drybone's head with the Wand of Wonder thrice.
Garrick Fy`aar: *...like I said, Metal hates me.*
Editor's Note: Not getting a puzzle != being hated. Being hated is what happened to Aetos, or Charles.
Metal Man (GM): ...Amazing! It instantly dies! 15 EXP to all!
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Digifanatic: "Oh, that is CHEAP."
Metal Man: "...That was... easy."
Julian Sawyer: "Hooray!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "..." *He doesn't even say anything. He just stands there...* "...you know, I give up."
Metal Man (GM): The wall in front of you guys suddenly sinks into the floor.
Aribar: "Oh, come on, Garrick..." *The elf casts Minor Healing thrice on Garrick.*
Metal Man (GM): It reveals... a glowing Magitek orb!
Tetra: "There it is!"
Metal Man: "Yes! We got the orb!"
Julian Sawyer: "Do you need a hug, Garrick?"
Esprinto: "WAIT!"
Digifanatic: "This can't be that easy, I know it."
Tetra runs to the orb.
Esprinto: "It might be trapped!"
Tetra: "Easy? You're insane! I got blown up!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...you are REALLY starting to piss me off, Julian."
Digifanatic: "No... I said it can not be easy."
Metal Man: "But... we got the orb."
Metal Man (GM): Tetra: You run up to it.
Tetra gets to the orb and goes to touch it.
Metal Man (GM): Tetra pokes the orb. *Glow.*
Tetra: "Pretty."
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH.*
Lord Crodus: "Gaaack aaack aaack aaack!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...GRAB IT!"
Lord Crodus: "You found the orb for me! How nice of you!!"
Digifanatic: "Yeah, we knew that was coming..."
Tetra grabs the Magitek Orb and runs back to the group.
Aribar: "...Piffle." *The elf downs a Green Potion.*
Esprinto: "Curses... I am so gonna die... I only have one life left..."
Aribar: "Don't worry... I can revive you for that price!"
Metal Man (GM): The orb... it is stuck in the ground!
Esprinto: "WHAT IS THE PRICE!?"
Tetra tries to uproot the orb... can't let Crodus get it!
Aribar: "Now..." *The elf looks about to see where Crodus is.*
Lord Crodus: "Now... I shall make you a deal."
Digifanatic: "He loses one life for you."
Tetra stops for a second. "Deal? What deal?"
Digifanatic: "I'm pretty sure that's correct?"
Esprinto: "Oh..."
Julian Sawyer: *V is for VUMPLER.*
Aribar shakes his head while looking at/for Crodus.
Tetra is obviously scared and trying desperately to hide it. "Wh-what deal?"
Lord Crodus: "You have two choices. Die... or... let me have the orb."
Tetra looks down at the orb and back up at Crodus. "Um... can I use a lifeline?"
Aribar: "...Quite the opposite. You've two choices. You die, or let us have the orb... And then die."
Esprinto: "Sounds about right..."
Julian Sawyer: "Either way it ends up bad for you."
Esprinto: "All right..."
Lord Crodus: "Except that I can use the orb in combat... and you can't. The orb of holograms is a great one indeed... Are you sure?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...you can't be serious."
Esprinto: "Heh..."
Tetra turns to Metal. "Help?"
Aribar: "...I know that at least I'm gonna face you..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "He won't be alone, either."
Esprinto: "I'll fight him..."
Metal Man: "He is serious... I can help you fight him... but he is tough."
Tetra looks back to Crodus. "I don't want to die. But I won't let you have the orb either!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Fine then, it settled." *He draws his handguns, cracking his neck.*
Esprinto pulls out his bat from the scabbard and twirls it. "Bring it."
Lord Crodus: "Very well..."
Metal Man (GM): *MEGA-BATTLE.*
Esprinto: *ACTIVATE HEROIC MUSIC!*
Lord Crodus: "Hologram... full power!"
Garrick Fy`aar starts off with some regular rounds...
Esprinto: "Crud... my uppercut must be out of the question..."
Metal Man (GM): Hit hit hit hit.
Garrick Fy`aar shrugs and fires off another 4 shots, then a round of shots from his STAT.
Metal Man (GM): CRIT MISS hit hit hit hit hit hit. The STAT shots do not inflict any status effects.
Lord Crodus: "Foolish Human."
Metal Man (GM): Lord Crodus glows... then fires a blue beam, dealing 50 damage to Garrick.
Aribar: "Tri-blast!" *The elf shoots three Elemental Blasts. One Fire-aligned, one Ice-aligned, and the last Electric-aligned. 105% Fire, 105% Ice, 105% Electric damage.*
Metal Man (GM): ...His force field blocks every hit.
Aribar: "...What?!"
Lord Crodus: "Magic is worthless against me, with this force field!"
Aribar: "Inconceivable!"
Metal Man (GM): Julian is not here.
Tetra: "You should've stayed dead, Crodus."
Lord Crodus: "To the contrary! You should have!"
Metal Man (GM): Julian goes after Tetra.
Tetra presses a few buttons on his gauntlet and an EMP wave spreads outward.
Metal Man (GM): No effect.
Lord Crodus: "Hah! I am Magitek... I cannot be damaged by that!"
Tetra jumps back from Crodus and aims his gauntlet at Crodus, with his fingers outstretched towards him, firing a photon shot from each finger at the magitek robot. "Eat hot plasma and die!"
Metal Man (GM): You hit four times.
Julian Sawyer: *Starts off by leaping high into the air and coming down on Crodus with a hand, trying to slam his face into the ground (Face Wash) Failing that, Julian goes into a Beatbox combo.*
Metal Man (GM): Hit.
Julian Sawyer: *Or Not. He then follows up with a Breakdown combo, breakdance sweeping Crodus, then, launching a handstand kick.*
Metal Man (GM): Hit and bad miss. But since he's a weird... thing... he isn't poisoned. My turn!
Metal Man: "All right... it's time to try out my new weapon against this guy!" *He is suddenly in his metallic suit... and he pulls out what appears to be... an AK-47. He luckies the 15.*
Metal Man (GM): Whoops! Okay... 6 hits... 1 crit... 10 bullets used... 336 damage! Ouch!
Crodus: "Your primitive weapon does not amuse me."
Metal Man: "Woah... this thing is powerful!"
Esprinto runs up and aims an upper cut at the bad guy.
Metal Man (GM): Hit.
Esprinto: *45 damage.*
Metal Man (GM): Although I doubt that's the right roll. Or the right damage.
Esprinto: *it is... 3x STR mod to hit, 3x STR damage. and I have the specialist.*
Metal Man (GM): And your STR mod is 2... Hmmm. There is something wrong with that... mainly the 3x STR. That'd require more points than an Overdrive move. I change that to what it should be... 1.5x STR.
Esprinto: *both 3x?*
Metal Man (GM): Which means 23 damage. No. 3x STR mod to hit, 1.5x STR damage.
Esprinto: *Metal...*
Metal Man (GM): Okay... thank God that ordeal is over... new round. Crodus glows.
Crodus: "Now... face the wrath of Magitek!"
Metal Man (GM): He fires rainbow beams at everybody. SPD checks, everyone!
Metal Man is hit for 50 damage. "Owwww!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Aribar takes 50 damage as well... as does Julian.
Julian Sawyer: *BLAMMO!* "AUGH!"
Metal Man (GM): Nobody else gets hit. Crodus also changes the shield... to red.
Garrick Fy`aar fires a foursome of armor piercing regular rounds.
Metal Man (GM): Hit hit wonder crit hit.
Garrick Fy`aar follows up with six dumdum shots...
Metal Man (GM): All hit... besides the 13 and the 9, which are truly 'dumb' shots. Garrick:Your turn over?
Garrick Fy`aar will take a free action to scan as well.
Lord Crodus: "How dare you attempt to cheat me?"
Metal Man (GM): Lord Crodus glows... and Garrick is disarmed. Only of his M150.
Aribar switches out to Moonlight, casts Mirror on himself, and thwacks Crodus with his sword.
Metal Man (GM): ...Barely miss.
Julian Sawyer: *Hello Mr. Dex.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian is zapped by a red beam for 80 damage.
Crodus: "You never learn, do you?"
Julian Sawyer: "Not if you keep zapping me with energy beams of various colors... It makes my brain hurt!"
Metal Man (GM): Julian: Doing anything else for your turn? *Pokes Julian.*
Julian Sawyer: *Just for that, Julian plucks his Fedora off his head, squeezes the feather.* *Blades pop out* *And throws it at Crodus for a Hat Trick.*
Metal Man (GM): Miss hit miss.
Tetra holds out his hand and scans Crodus to mimic his main move.
Metal Man (GM): You get.... His coolest move: The force field which blocks stuff! It comes in red, green, and blue variations.
Tetra: "Hmm... let's try this..." *He presses some buttons, raising a green forcefield.*
Metal Man (GM): You summon the red force field for yourself.
Tetra: "I wonder what red blocks, anyway."
Metal Man (GM): My turn!
Metal Man: "Hmmm... let's see how much more damage I can cause." *He continues shooting Crodus with his AK47.*
Metal Man (GM): All hit... one crit. 480 damage! ...But 15 precious bullets are used.
Metal Man: "Almost out of ammo... and he's still standing!"
Editor's Note: Uh... uhhhh.... why... why are you so upset with the fact you had to expend a resource when you dealt nearly 1000 damage
Esprinto aims his bat. "DARK BAT GUN."
Metal Man (GM): All but 1 hit.
Esprinto: *15 damage per hit... so... 60 damage.*
Metal Man (GM): Hmmm... But... once again, I feel you have not done it correctly. If there are 5 hits, then that means 2 damage per hit. You deal 8 damage. Remember, I mean STR mod, not STR, in most cases.
Esprinto: *it is 15 damage per hit... I thought... STR mod to hit, INT damage. 5 hits.*
Metal Man (GM): That would cost 3 times the amount of a normal melee move. It should be INT mod damage.
Esprinto: *Curse you.*
Metal Man (GM): Lord Crodus turns green.
Lord Crodus: "Finally. All systems are functional! Repair mode!"
Metal Man (GM): Lord Crodus regains 233 HP.
Esprinto: "Holy hell."
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Lord Crodus: "Now then... attack mode... fully engaged!"
Metal Man (GM): *BAM* A rainbow-colored fireball instantly hits Aribar, dealing 50 damage and halving his AC for three rounds. It is not effected by mirror.
Garrick Fy`aar unloads a clip full of dumdum rounds *just fight the fight.*
Metal Man (GM): 6 hits, Garrick.
Aribar thwaps Crodus three times.
Metal Man (GM): Three hits. *THWAP* *THWAP* *THWAP.*
Julian Sawyer: *Attacks with a Breakdown combo, and follows that up with a Beatbox Luckies the 7*
Metal Man (GM): All hit besides that naaasty 12. *Random breakbeat music.*
Julian Sawyer: *O-O-O-OVERDRIVE.*
Tetra scans Crodus again, hoping to get a better ability this time.
Metal Man (GM): No good... yer stuck with the force field. I won't say you wasted an action on that, though.
Tetra passes his turn since nothing he has can do any real damage to Crodus anyway.
Metal Man (GM): My turn!
Metal Man empties the AK-47, switches to the Zapper, and shoots a shot at Crodus.
Metal Man (GM): 142 damage and... 12 damage more.
Esprinto: "Let's see" *He rolls up in a ball and launches himself* "Cannon ball spin." *STR to hit, STR damage before you say anything...*
Metal Man (GM): For once, something I can say is right. Yes. 15 damage.
Esprinto: *15 damage.*
Metal Man (GM): the useless green field turns blue again. Crodus then fires a random attack at... Aribar again! Erm... or so it appears, until he decides to heal again! He regains 291 HP.
Aribar: "..." .oO(Whew!)
Julian Sawyer: "I hope he can run out of those..."
Garrick Fy`aar judges Crodus...
Metal Man (GM): Garrick: INT check. Luckily, he can't just cheat his way out of that. You'd say... he's at 2/3 of his full HP.
Editor's Note: On second thought, maybe the insane damage Illian is doing is perfectly fine, with bosses that are that absurdly powerful.
Garrick Fy`aar: *Whistle* "This is going to take a while..." *He uses his other two actions, since he guesses that took an action, to fire off more dumdums at 'em.*
Lord Crodus: "You cannot win, fools!"
Metal Man (GM): 3 hits... two misses and a really bad crit miss. Crodus blasts Garrick with a fireball for 50 damage, halving Garrick's absurd 30 AC.
Lord Crodus: "Strange... I seem to be... missing half of my programming..."
Garrick Fy`aar looks hurt... but then is instantly at full health again...
Aribar goes defensive... The elf uses a Green Potion and two Minor Healings.
Julian Sawyer starts off his new Overdrive turn with an expansion of the Beatbox combo, throwing in even more kicks and a few punches (Speedbag). He then grabs Crodus by the head, and rears back as his fist charges with energy, and delivers a powerful KO Punch to Crodus.
Metal Man (GM): miss hit miss hit miss hit.
Julian Sawyer: *Halves Crodus' HP with that punch.*
Metal Man (GM): Ah... if only you could halve his HP... Unfortunately... you halve your own instead.
Julian Sawyer: *Had no HP, only percentages.*
Metal Man (GM): I should rephrase. Julian takes half his max HP in damage.
Julian Sawyer: *...Dies?*
Tetra: "I can't get through that shield... but maybe..." *He holds out his gauntlet and a trio of missiles raise from a hidden opening. Tetra raises the gauntlet and fires the missiles into the ceiling, hoping to drop a load of debris on Crodus.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian dies. A lot.
Julian Sawyer: *DIES SPECTACUARLY.*
Metal Man (GM): Just in time for the ceiling to collapse!
Lord Crodus: "Gaaahhhhhh!!! I'm out of here!"
Metal Man (GM): Lord Crodus flees.... *+1100 EXP.*
Tetra: "No! Don't let him escape!"
Esprinto: "Curse HIM!" *I think...*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Let him go..."
Metal Man (GM): The Magitek Orb is there for the taking... but the holo-tomb is sinking!
Esprinto: *Was that all of us?*
Garrick Fy`aar: "We need to get out. Now. Let's move."
Tetra runs to grab the Megitek Orb. "I can get it!"
Metal Man (GM): Tetra: STR check.
Esprinto takes flight to go through the hole in the roof.
Garrick Fy`aar pushes Tetra aside... "Here... I got it..."
Aribar sheaths his sword and tries to contact Mewtwo.
Metal Man (GM): Tetra is more likely to pull his own hand off than pick it up if it keeps on going like this... Then Garrick tears it out.
Metal Man: "Good job... hey Esprinto! Wait for us!"
Tetra: "I could've gotten it..."
Aribar: "Mewtwo? We've got the orb and we need a warp outta here."
Metal Man (GM): Aribar is stabbed by a spear for 10 damage.
Garrick Fy`aar immediately sticks it in his NSS.
Esprinto stops, "Why?"
Metal Man (GM): The dex does not respond.
Metal Man: "We need to get out of here!"
Aribar: "Oh, piffle..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Come on, let's get moving."
Esprinto: "I am prolly strong enough to lift one guy with me..."
Metal Man: "Okay... I'll roll some dice."
Esprinto is still flying.
Metal Man: "Take Julian!"
Aribar looks up at the hole to see exactly how high it is to the opening.
Metal Man (GM): It's about 40 feet up into the air.
Esprinto grabs Julian and flies through the hole in the roof.
Metal Man: "Let's see... that leaves my own flight abilities... Well then, Garrick. I shall lift you out of here..."
Esprinto: "So Julian... how is life?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "If you're going to do it, do it fast..."
Metal Man grabs Garrick and lifts off... with rocket power.
Julian Sawyer: *Is dead, can't talk.*
Tetra: "Great. They leave me to die...Q -_-
Metal Man (GM): Julian: Only gains 200 EXP for dying too much. Aribar: No.
Aribar: "Wait! Bring Julian back here!"
Metal Man (GM): Oh... then never mind.
Esprinto floats back down and drops Julian.
Metal Man (GM): You said you remained dead for some r..... Your corpse is dropped onto Aribar's head.
Aribar: "Gah!"
Metal Man (GM): 30 damage to Aribar.
Esprinto: "Ok... should I take Tetra?"
Metal Man: "...Just don't drop her like some sort of weapon!"
Aribar BARELY survives.
Metal Man: "Err... him!"
Tetra: "Her?"
Metal Man: "Stupid mind."
Tetra: "I'm not that effeminate, am I?"
Editor's Note: Nope, but Zelda: The Wind Waker leads to name confusion.
Aribar: "...Revive!" *The elf downs two Maple Syrups and casts Revive on Julian.*
Metal Man: "Now then! Hurry! The temple is falling!"
Tetra: "How do we get out? I can't fly!"
Metal Man (GM): Julian wakes up to see the ceiling slowly closing in on everyone.
Julian Sawyer: "...I hate this place..."
Aribar then downs a Green Potion.
Julian Sawyer: *Gets up.*
Aribar: "Okay... One non-flyer grab my hand."
Julian Sawyer: *Does so.*
Esprinto: "Tetra... c'mere."
Tetra: "Yes, sir!"
Aribar casts Magic Teleport thrice to get them to the top of that hole... and hopefully to a safe landing. He teleports three times for a total of 45 feet.
Tetra grabs onto Esprinto's hand.
Esprinto grabs Tetra and flies toward the hole... hopefully.
Aribar would try to take Julian with him on this teleportation spree.
Metal Man (GM): *WARPD.*
Esprinto: "This is fun..."
Metal Man (GM): Anyone that is not me, Aribar, Tetra, Esprinto, Garrick, or Julian is crushed by the temple sinking into da sand.
Julian Sawyer: "Whoa... I'm dizzy..."
Esprinto: "Well, that was amusing..."
Tetra: "Am I dead? Is this... heck?"
Esprinto: "Tetra... I saved yer butt."
Metal Man: "No. This is the desert."
Aribar: "Nah. It is the place with the flames. Trust me, I've seen it many times."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Now, maybe this piece of junk will work... Mewtwo, come in. Request immediate warp out."
Tetra: "Whew..."
Metal Man (GM): A spear hits Garrick for 10 more damage... out of the SAND?!?!?!?!
Metal Man: "...What the?"
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Esprinto: "HOLY HELL."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Oh, GOD DAMN IT." *He breaks the spear off and throws it into the sand.*
Julian Sawyer: "Let's start walking, then..."
Metal Man: "Which way is not pointed towards an endless desert trek?"
Julian Sawyer: *Takes a step, falls down* "Ow..."
Aribar: "So we're in the middle of a desert... Hrm."
Metal Man: "Garrick... check the dex again."
Aribar tries to remember any maps or anything he looked at while researching data earlier today.
Julian Sawyer: "Let's just walk enough so that we don't get shot with spears when we try to use the dex..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...*Does so*..."
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: You remember the route to... *DUN DUN DUNNNN* The Dead Man's Table. Garrick checks the dex again.
Esprinto follows whoever knows where they are going.
Metal Man (GM): It says 'Please wait while communications are established.
Metal Man: "Good... no more spears." *He cracks the spear in two.*
Aribar: "Hrm... I think I know how to get to a large rock formation from here... But we'd be crazy to climb it... But we might be able to see where the nearest town or oasis is."
Julian Sawyer: "Yay."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Blasted spears... okay, let's walk while we wait..."
Metal Man: "Which way, Aribar?"
Esprinto walks.
Julian Sawyer: *Gets up and tests his ability to walk again.*
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: You notice a small ridge of rocks pointing out of the ground... that means go that way. Julian: You discover that it is hot. And you have nothing to drink.
Aribar points in that direction. "Towards that ridge... It'll take us to The Dead Man's Table."
Tetra: "That sounds bad..."
Metal Man: "What kind of person names a landmark that?"
Esprinto: "I would..."
Metal Man: "...This is going to be a loooooong trip..."
Julian Sawyer: *While this doesn't exactly help, Julian has overcome his teleportatin dizziness apparently* "..."
Aribar: "Oh, just treacherous winds and rock formations making it difficult to climb..."
Metal Man: "What do we have for drinks?"
Garrick Fy`aar just keeps walking... silent...
Esprinto: "Good thing I can fly..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I've got some survival gear in my NSS.'"
Metal Man: "I have life support, but... that obviously won't help the rest of you."
Aribar: "Those are the only obstacles there..."
Tetra: "We could just kill ourselves and instantly go back to Quester HQ infirmary."
Editor's Note: Probably would have worked, too.
Aribar starts towards that direction.
Garrick Fy`aar: "I think not..."
Aribar: "...I don't think it works like that, and I can't revive you guys forever!"
Esprinto: "Too easy..."
Tetra: "Yeah, I don't like that idea either..."
Julian Sawyer: "This mission sucks..." *Follows Aribar.*
Metal Man: "I think we'd wind up as unconscious bodies in the desert that are eaten by buzzards. At least we have that orb."
Editor's Note: Wow, Illian's acting like it's SSQ^2 already!
Tetra: "The magitek orb of holograms..."
Esprinto: "Besides... if we do this we might get EXP. " *Drool.*
Metal Man: "Ex... what?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Holograms won't help us here."
Tetra: "No."
Metal Man: "...This is going to be an even longer journey..."
Esprinto: "Let's just go..."
Tetra blinks. "What's an 'EXP'?"
Aribar looks up at the sky... (Is this day time? Night time?)
Metal Man (GM): It is... Sand storm time! I.E. You don't know. Because there's too much sand in the air. We fade out here...
Garrick Fy`aar stumbles through the desert, walking the same direction Ari is going. He coughs...
Metal Man (GM): *END of Part 1: Crodus's Revenge Coming up next on Super Smash Quest: Part 2: Wandering in the Desert.*
Metal Man (GM): http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/sony/ps1/Sephirothdx.mid There's some appropriate music for this scene. Well, you'd be aboard the Quester Hunter satellite... or, as you should call it, the satellite of the Thirteen Gentlemen. Lost in space... made up of circular, tower-like midsection, with various modules and doors branching off of it. Alarm lights blinking, some various computer noises... various burnt out and destroyed areas.
Charles Magellean: "...Bob... how many dimensions or quantums of space is this place that took a few days to open a warp here?...and how many lifeforms are here to boot as well."
Bob, Lord of Electric Death: "There is nothing living here. It is about 10,000 dimensions away... isolated in null space. I would suggest caution. It is highly dangerous."
Charles Magellean: "...The AI?"
SIMBER: "That would be me, stubborn fool. How dare you... entering my home... taunting me with the realm I was wrenched away from. Kuja... you let him do this..."
Charles Magellean opens his mouth, but then has second thoughts. .oO(That's right... this SIMBER is unaware of the events that has happened to me. Regardless, Bob is right.)
SIMBER: "I would destroy you, but this area is highly volatile. A laser shot could destroy us all. I have no choice but to lock all the doors."
Metal Man (GM): *Locklocklock* A red, angry looking SIMBER hologram appears before you.
SIMBER: "Is it that your realm was destroyed? Kuja said that the gentlemen's power would make him invincible."
Charles Magellean: "What he said and what he did to them are not the same. ...Only one... is left."
SIMBER: "It is your fault for sending this place away. He counted on that. You could have destroyed us all instead. All I can do is laugh at the destruction he is causing."
Charles Magellean: "At least you have some solace in a void of space." *He goes to the left.*
Metal Man (GM): Locked doors, as always.
SIMBER: "The most amusing, however... is that I know how to defeat Kuja. I will tell no one."
Charles Magellean: "That information is common knowledge to me. Not as amusing when it's heard the second time." *He observes this locked door.*
Metal Man (GM): The door is a sliding, automatic door. It's been held in place with... magnets.
SIMBER: "Just by being here, you risk a chance of transmitting me back to your realm."
Charles Magellean: "We handled you before, program. Nintendus would only be surprised for just one moment."
SIMBER: "You can handle one of me..."
Metal Man (GM): *FLASH* There's 10 of the holograms in here, now.
SIMBER: "But 10,000 might be another issue."
Charles Magellean: "You are correct. That is another issue that would be dealt with when it arrives. Hmmm... these magnets... It's a shame I didn't bring my buffer."
SIMBER: "You cannot go to anywhere without prompting self destruction."
Charles Magellean: "If you do not want to help me, then say so and be quiet."
SIMBER: "You wouldn't be quiet if you had been trapped in a wretched, abandoned ship for 10,000 years."
Charles Magellean: "I have not experienced it, so I cannot say." *He needs to find some way to reverse the locks' polarities.*
SIMBER: "If you use brute force... the oddities of this realm might just make you become part of the door."
Charles Magellean: "Hmm... of course." *He opens his mouth and raises his hand wide open. He would start shaking and to start visualizing... a device that would defy physics and allow matter to destabilize and reverse any object's opposite polarity. "...Nothing." *He begins to assess this situation from another angle.
Metal Man (GM): It's a sliding door... and if objects become one with other objects when slammed together...
Charles Magellean: "I push... and I would meld... !" *He softly presses through the door.*
Metal Man (GM): You find the door to move almost like liquid.
Charles Magellean begins to move his arm around searching for one of the locks.
SIMBER: "...I forgot that the process is not set... thus... with enough force... one can... move through walls? Curses!"
Metal Man (GM): You feel... a magnet which is causing the door not to move.
Charles Magellean tugs on it.
Metal Man (GM): You pull it out.
Charles Magellean pulls it out and does the same for the other magnets.
Metal Man (GM): The door can now be moved... once you get yourself out of the door itself.
Charles Magellean moves his arm slowly out of the door part.
Metal Man (GM): You're now free of the door.
Charles Magellean: "Since I am able to remove the magnets, there would be no further significant use for the doors to be locked."
SIMBER: "Yet I shall lock all the doors and make your journey as slow as possible."
Charles Magellean wonders how to open the door itself. "Like I said, no significant use."
Metal Man (GM): You think of running headfirst into it. Repeatedly.
Charles Magellean: "That would only hurt my head." *He moves his hands through the wall and attempts to push the door.*
Metal Man (GM): The door slides... with very little friction.
Charles Magellean picks up his suitcase and walks onward.
Metal Man (GM): This room is weird... it's full of computers. There's a portal-esque machine... the portal is still running.
Charles Magellean smiles. He wonders around looking for a control panel.
Metal Man (GM): You see one. It has the old commands on it. 'Activate portal to 13.284.2191. Portal activated. Three masses have used portal.'
Charles Magellean: "Let's see... let's find 'ye olde portal changing coordinates to Relic of Power hiding place'. SIMBER, would you by chance know which masses used this portal?" *He has that old habit of asking an AI.*
SIMBER: "Kuja, Meier Link, and Zio, of course. So that they could destroy your realm!"
Charles Magellean uses the onscreen computer to search through some of the trash and locate the Bowser necklace.
Metal Man (GM): What you find depends upon the roll. Locos: You discover that it is one floor above, in room #12 In 'The Room of Relics'
Charles Magellean: "SIMBER, would you ahh--ehh, never mind." *He programs the coordinates to the portal now.*
Computer: "Unable to process command. Portal is jammed."
Charles Magellean: "Let's see... stairs... stairs." *He looks around the room for a hatch of some kind that would allow access to the cloisters and crawl spaces to go to other rooms.*
Metal Man (GM): You find... an old toothbrush! It's as useful as randomly leaping into that portal.
Charles Magellean: "What the--- Hey SIMBER, I think I found your toothbrush!" *He curses and storms off to another door.*
SIMBER: "Ha ha ha ha."
Metal Man (GM): You're back in the circular room. Four more doors to choose from.
Charles Magellean: "...A schematic would be ever so nice." *He goes to ehhh...*
SIMBER: "So would destroying Nintendus, but we lack that as well."
Charles Magellean: "I'm glad you were stuck here. 10,000 years has only made you gone outdated by a better model." *He takes the second door on the left.*
Metal Man (GM): This is a ruined control room. You see a note stuck in here. A yellow, dusty note.
Charles Magellean reads said note.
Metal Man (GM): It is... well... old, and the intended reader never saw it. 'I, Eggman, have taken over the death ray of the Quester Hunter satellite to defeat the Questers.'
Charles Magellean gets up.
Metal Man (GM): 'Please do not judge me; clearly, if you are reading this, the Questers are dead, and I have succeeded. I wish you good luck... but also I wish to have half of Nintendus. Signed, Eggman.'
Charles Magellean: "You had accomplished nothing in any way of any kind." *He claims this room pointless and leaves. He tries the door that's on the furthest left.*
Metal Man (GM): This room is... different. You walk into a normal storage room. Food storage.
Charles Magellean: "The food here must've spoiled... what a stench." *He searches around a bit.*
Metal Man (GM): You find... another note! 'I, Eggman, have eaten half of your provisions. I shall repay you sometime.' Wow... Eggman likes notes. That's about it. Lots of useless rooms.
Charles Magellean: "..." *He tries the second most door on the right.*
Metal Man (GM): You discover... a temple-like room. Zio's room. Full of old junk. It's got a lot of... smooth stone surfaces.
Charles Magellean looks for the note in this room.
Metal Man (GM): No notes in here... just an old book.
Charles Magellean reads it.
Metal Man (GM): It's written in an odd language.
Charles Magellean shakes his head. "!" *He opens his briefcase. He attempts to take the book and put it in his briefcase.*
Metal Man (GM): It goes right in.
Charles Magellean closes the briefcase. He goes to the last door. *Dream, Child of Prayer Forever and ever Bring us peace.*
Metal Man (GM): This door... it is... well, this entire room you've entered is surreal. It must be... Kuja's room. Plans... books... pages... everywhere. Everything he's done up until recently is painstakingly catalogued. Even... the destruction of the thirteen gentlemen.
Charles Magellean: "..."
Metal Man (GM): And the current location of the satellite ..It even has a small picture of you entering the satellite ..And a disk... with your name on it.
Charles Magellean: "...The predictions... so... accurate. ...He is so painstakingly calculating... like Grodus."
Metal Man (GM): A thing on the wall says... 'One must control the future to control the world.'
Charles Magellean takes the disk.
Metal Man (GM): The disk is... well, the only flaw with it is that it's a dex disk. He could not predict you leaving the Questers.
SIMBER: "Interesting... Kuja's predictions are slightly wrong... because you are no longer a Quester?"
Charles Magellean: "!"
SIMBER: "That would unbalance his equations... his entire plan..."
Charles Magellean: "...So this must be... the key."
SIMBER: "The result, of course, cannot be foreseen. For when the equation is imbalanced, the future cannot be predicted as accurately."
Charles Magellean: "Stray from the path... and the future is unknown!"
Metal Man (GM): ...Kuja's own hologram appears.
Charles Magellean: "So... like the Void... it is relied on me to stop Tribal."