Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 206: The War for the Stadium and Julian's Sandwich

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Date: 4:54:54 PM, June 2nd; 10:04:26 PM, June 3rd, 2005.
Metal Man (GM): Nope... 83 damage.
Tetra: "AHHH!!!"
Metal Man (GM): The other Commando opens fire on Aribar. All hit. 122 damage to him as he's raked with bullets.
Tetra is hit by machine gun fire and much injured.
Aribar is filled with lead, but still alive... Barely.
Metal Man (GM): The Riflemen open fire on Garrick.
Garrick Fy`aar gets HAMMERED.
Metal Man (GM): 12 damage per hit. 24 damage per crit. 0 damage per crit fail. That reminds me.... In multi-roll attacks, crit fails don't matter. Because they have no time to retaliate while a hail of attacks are flying at them. They didn't kill him 5 times in a row. He goes right after the riflemen. Errr.....
Charles L. Magellan: "How simple it is... all it takes is to attack you like you're an enemy army, and you begin to crumble!"
Aribar fires off two Jolts--One per Medic-- and then downs a Blue Potion.
Charles L. Magellan: "Though the casualties may be a little high for a usual confrontation, it'll be worth it!"
Metal Man (GM): Well, of course, both medics are hit. 2 damage to each of them.
Tetra: "Let's see if you still say that when we defeat you, Evil Magellean!"
Metal Man (GM): *stun to first medic.*
Charles L. Magellan: "We'll see how cocky you are when I bring out the TANKS!"
Tetra: "We'll see how cocky YOU are when you realize I DESTROY machinery."
Garrick Fy`aar spins out the Einhammer, unloading a Implode on one of the commanders before firing off a pair of rifle shots at 'em.
Charles L. Magellan: "Then I'll just use the equally powerful, non-machine enemies. Thank you for telling me."
Metal Man (GM): All hit.
Tetra: "... I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut..."
Metal Man: "Yeah, really?"
Metal Man (GM): Your turn done?
Aribar hrms, looking up at at Magellan's ship and wonders if he'll have to resort to using his catastrophic spell. (Why do I feel like the protagonist of Suikoden IV here?)
Metal Man (GM): I'll take that as a yes.
Charles L. Magellan: "I'm going to have to bring out some more soldiers. You look only minorly bogged down."
Tetra: "Go for it. Let's see what happens here..."
Metal Man (GM): Two men wearing black and white clothes, and equipped with bazookas, march out of the ship.
Tetra takes out a strange potion. It's purple and spotted with bright green dots. He drinks the whole thing.
Metal Man (GM): They're not heading towards the battle yet. Tetra: You suddenly grow 3 times larger. AC: Divided by 3.
Tetra: "Hey, sweet."
Metal Man (GM): Your attacks deal 3x damage And you have 3x to hit.
Charles L. Magellan: "I'm going to have to get this giant out of the way, if I am to take over the Questers."
Tetra laughs. "I AM GODZILLA!" *He fires two rounds of missiles at the ship itself.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship's shields go up, taking heavy damage.
Charles L. Magellan: "Shields at 60%? WHAT? That's it, I'm going to open fire on you!"
Tetra: "Oh... poo..."
Metal Man (GM): The lasers activate. As well, two panels blow off the sides of the ship, revealing missile batteries. The thing keeping track of order explodes from the amount of people in the battle. Tetra: Your turn over? Your targets are as follows: Two white-clad medics, wearing heavy armor; Two general-looking people, called Commanders, in green garb; 14 men in green clothes with green berets and rifles, named riflemen; Two men wearing black-and-white clothes, with bazookas, the Demolition people; And what looks like a giant, heavily armed space ship, the Dalhalva.
Digifanatic warps in. "Sorry I'm late!"
Metal Man (GM): Oh, yes: HQ is in the background. None of these are robots. They're all humans, on the ground. The Demolition people are towards the ground. The ship landed, too.
Digifanatic tries mustering up some crazy energy by Quake Smash and tries to utilize a Fire Punch on all of the main 18 enemies on the ground...
Metal Man (GM): Do one roll, please. It's one punch that spreads through the ground. That hits everybody but all of the Riflemen.
Digifanatic: "Wow, those guys are insane!" *He defends to end his turn.*
Metal Man (GM): The s. They turn to Tetra, and launch rockets at him. Big, building-destroying rockets.
Tetra: "Ahh!"
Metal Man (GM): *BOOM* *BOOM* 200 damage.
Tetra: *SPLAT.*
Metal Man: "Too many people... too many people... will it ever end?"
Pat finishes charging. He leaps toward the 134% rifleman and lets the flaming punch towards his body.
Metal Man (GM): May I suggest, the far slower targets, like the parked space ship or the slow guys with rocket launchers? You could switch your attack to one of them instead, and go with the 17? Ok. *Miss*
Metal Man whips out the Deathmachine, and opens fire on one of those Commandos with it. CRAZY.
Metal Man (GM): *Bam* 57 damage.
Metal Man then switches to his axe, and threatens the Demolition guys and a medic with a really wide swing.
Metal Man (GM): *SLICESLICESLICE* 22 damage to each of them. Oh, 2 damage to the medic ..And 2 damage each to the demolition guys. It powers up, then opens fire on Quester HQ.
Digifanatic: "Oh no..."
Metal Man (GM): The shields go up on HQ, taking the damage.
SIMBER: "Shields at 80%."
Digifanatic: "Phew."
Charles Magellean: "Do they believe that they are stronger than Kuja's attempt with those thousands of ships he had?"
Metal Man: "It appears they are. That ship is using something special!"
Metal Man (GM): Oh, right. Julian isn't here. Well, anyway, right after his turn.... Everybody's dexes beep. Then, you'd see the Great Fox flying in, with four arwings coming out of it.
Tetra is currently dead.
Digifanatic opens his dex.
Fox: "We're coming to take out the trash."
Falco: "We can't let the stadium be toasted by some losers!"
Slippy: "I'm going to blast these guys to pieces!"
Peppy: "Trust your instincts!"
Charles L. Magellan: "Shut up! I'm going to make sawdust out of you all!"
Metal Man (GM): The four arwings fly into range. Falco and For open fire on the commanders. 125 damage, no DR, to each of them.
Falco: "What? They can withstand lasers?"
Metal Man (GM): Slippery and Peppy then blast the ship's shields.
Charles Magellean: "Healthy boys. That's all I gotta say."
Charles L. Magellan: "Shields at 40%? I'll get you for this!"
Metal Man (GM): The Zangals then concentrate their fire on another rifleman. 0 hits. The Commandos chain their machinegun fire and attack Charles with a combined assault. Hits? 163 damage. The Riflemen then open fire on Digi. 12 damage per hit. Two hits against a medic. 0 damage, poison.
Garrick Fy`aar just cuts into a rifleman with armor piercing rifle shots.
Metal Man (GM): One hit. You kill one of the severely weakened ones.
Charles Magellean proceeds to Donkey Punch the wounded wounded Commander.
Metal Man (GM): *PUNCH* He's barely alive, still. 929/1000%
Charles Magellean uses a Headbutt on that same commander. *75%; auto-stun if applicable.*
Metal Man (GM): He's stunned, at 1 HP away from certain death.
Charles Magellean opens his mouth wide. Air and wind and various particles of dirt are Inhaled into his as he attempts to swallow the Commander that he continues to assault.
Metal Man (GM): You suck him in.
Charles Magellean: *15 after DR.*
Metal Man (GM): *Death* You eat the commander.
Commander 2: "Ahhh! It's a man-eating monster!"
Charles Magellean swallows the commander full.
Digifanatic: "Nice."
Metal Man (GM): Charles gains: Eye Laser
Tetra comes back. "Hi guys! What'd I miss?"
Digifanatic: "Enough..."
Tetra: "And hey, is that Team Starfox?"
Fox: "That would be us... but these people seem to be able to survive direct laser hits!"
Tetra: "Bah!" *He presses some buttons on his gauntlet, scanning the ship itself with his Mimic ability.*
Metal Man (GM): Tetra gains: Sit still and be attacked!
Charles L. Magellan: "I installed a safeguard in case of Magellean eating my ship whole!"
Tetra: "You suck!"
Charles L. Magellan: "You'll never steal my Proximitron Destructor!"
Tetra: "That's nice..." *He ends his turn by downing his last Smithy potion... an orange potion.*
Metal Man (GM): Tetra suddenly is infused with tons of vitamin C! He's now... immune to status effects. For the rest of this battle.
Tetra: "Mmm. Tastes kinda like orange juice!"
Digifanatic: "Well then..." *He tries another Fire Punch on a Medic.*
Metal Man (GM): You hit... the medic's armor eats the attack. 0 Damage.
Digifanatic: "Wow..."
Charles Magellean: "...I still feel hungry."
Digifanatic tries that again.
Metal Man (GM): *miss.*
Digifanatic then finishes off with a SM Punch to a Commander.
Metal Man (GM): Miss. Miss. The 'Demolition Duo' unleash rockets on the Quester HQ. *BAM* *BAM.*
SIMBER: "Shields at 60%."
Tetra: "Gah! Alright, we need to take out those rocket launchers!"
Metal Man: "You're telling me."
Pat lowers to the ground, then leaps upward with his fist over his head, thrusting an uppercut into one of the Demolition Duo.
Charles Magellean: "HUNGRY!"
Pat: *Lucky 3. He dies.*
Metal Man (GM): ...You have the luck of someone eternally trapped under a ladder. The guy's 14 AC still means he avoids your attack, as you uppercut a fly in the air. Fly: *OVERKILLED*
Pat flips over and tries to kick the Demolition man. With fire.
Metal Man (GM): *KICK* Well... he's heavily armored. ;_; So he takes 0 damage.
Metal Man goes wild and attacks the spacecraft with a ton of bullets from his machinegun.
Metal Man (GM): 150 damage as the shields block tons of bullets.
Charles Magellean eyes one of the platoonians.
Charles L. Magellan: "22%? That should be illegal!"
Metal Man (GM): The Dalhalva attacks HQ yet again.
SIMBER: "Shields at 40%."
Metal Man (GM): New round. Three arwings fire on a demolition guy. He takes a total of 225 damage. Which is good, but... HE'S NOT DEAD!
Falco: "What do they make these people out of? Diamonds?"
Tetra: "Seems like it."
Metal Man (GM): The Great Fox then flies in and opens fire on the same person with its capital ship lasers. *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* 1500% damage. That person is annihilated by laser fire.
Charles Magellean eyes a demolition... his eyes pulsate as he has a huge appetite.
Metal Man (GM): Nope, no crit mortality for Mr. Exploded. s. The medics both fire deadly darts. One at Ari, one at Tetra.
Tetra takes a shot in the arm.
Aribar ith hitith.
Metal Man (GM): INT checks if you're hit. Confusion, paralyzation, poison, and sealing. For both of you, and...
Tetra is unaffected thanks to super vitamin C power.
Metal Man (GM): Aribar loses 3 INT; Tetra gets no status effects, but loses 9 INT.
Aribar is frozen to the spot, feeling sickly, confused, but not sealed.
Metal Man (GM): Temporary, yes. The Zangals then fire at the medics. 0 damage
Commando 2: "Destroy Charles L. Magellean!"
Metal Man (GM): Then... he hurls the deadly Super Grenade.
Charles Magellean: "Oh Zw!2."
Metal Man (GM): Speed checks, everything! 6 Riflemen take 20 fire damage.
Metal Man is hit for 20 fire damage.
Metal Man (GM): Everyone who rolls under 20 takes 20 fire damage. 20 fire damage to the space shuttle. 20 fire damage to a Zangal.
Charles Magellean: "...That hardly even singed. Were you even TRYING?"
Metal Man (GM): 0 fire damage to each medic.
Aribar is hit, and knocked out of the confusion I believe.
Metal Man (GM): The Demolition people each are HEALED 20 damage. Erm, the one that's alive.
Pat avoids a burn.
Metal Man (GM): Pat avoids being burned. And yes, Aribar is knocked out of the confusion. After that, he shoots an eye laser at Charles L. Magellean.
Charles Magellean: *A match in AC.*
Metal Man (GM): *Miss* The riflemen, all 13 of them, fire at Charles. 12 damage per hit.
Charles Magellean: "This... may hurt." *He yelps in Lunarian tongue as all of them, sans the crit fail, found targets in the limbs, thighs, thorax, chest, earpiece, and foot.*
Charles L. Magellan: "Surrender, bounty hunters! I'm going to destroy your pathetic headquarters!"
Garrick Fy`aar is still there, I suppose, unless he missed something.
Tetra: "If we don't destroy your ship first."
Charles L. Magellan: "Destroy this? I think you'd have a better time hitting me."
Charles Magellean: "The... hunger... The STOMACH GROWLS!"
Charles L. Magellan: "I can keep on sending out soldiers until cows invade your wretched planet!"
Aribar hrms, debating what to attack... Targets besides the 2 medics, the Demolitionist, and the ship?
Tetra: "Not if we blow your ship to smithereens."
Charles Magellean's stomach makes an insanely loud growl, enough to make the nearby area have a very slight tremble.
Aribar fires off a testing Fire Elemental Blast at the guns of the ship. 105% Fire damage.
Metal Man (GM): You hit the shields, which take all the damage.
Charles L. Magellan: "14%? Curses!"
Metal Man (GM): His shields are looking really low.
Aribar: "Melf's Minute Meteors!" *The elf tosses Moonlight up into the air, and summons two small flaming balls in his hand which he promply throws at the ship. Two Fire Elemental Blasts, 150% damage.*
Charles Magellean: "7.2943839928384910019384756201381039348301% of my appetite has been taken care of."
Aribar then catches his sword during its decent.
Metal Man (GM): The shields fizzle down. Two identical compartments on the rear of his ship explode.
Charles L. Magellan: "Shields are down! Prepare for defensive maneuvers!"
Charles Magellean charges up his feet and uses a Ram technique against an unharmed platoonian. 120% damage.
Metal Man (GM): You smash him down, but he gets back up.
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MAH' BELLY!" *He uses Inhale on this guy.*
Metal Man (GM): You inhale him.
Charles Magellean: *30 HP and copy.*
Metal Man (GM): *Death* You gain: Rifle blast. d20+SPD to hit, 1/3 SPD damage.
Charles Magellean uses his final action to punch out the remaining unharmed rifleman.
Metal Man (GM): Miss. Tetra's brain is currently being burnt by deadly neurotoxins.
Charles Magellean: "9.999991284838327346276105883636% now."
Tetra ignores his terrible headache to fire off a shot with his prism laser, shooting at the remaining Demolition Man.
Metal Man (GM): *hit* 15 damage.
Tetra casts Immobilize on the ship.
Aribar: "...How badly do we want this Magellan caught?"
Metal Man (GM): The ship is electrified and unable to move.
Metal Man: "We just want to prevent him from blowing up headquarters!"
Tetra finishes up by throwing an Ice Block at Demolition Man.
Metal Man (GM): And you barely hit. *He sits there as an ice block breaks on his head harmlessly.*
Tetra: "..."
Charles Magellean eyes all around. He eyes a medic...
Metal Man (GM): The Demolition guy blasts HQ with another rocket.
SIMBER: "Shields at 30%."
Charles L. Magellan: "Dash it all! My controls are all sparky!"
Charles Magellean: "Must know... body limitations! (HP)."
Pat scans a medic.
Smash Dex: "...DING!"
Med Unit
Description: These white-armored specialists concern themselves with healing their allies. They are utterly harmless unless their escorts are dead. In that case, they will attempt to attack with deadly, nervous system destroying drugs, in the form of darts. Attack them first; they might be heavily armored, but they don't have too much HP.
HP: 10/250% Poison 8/250% Poison
STR: 18
SPD: 30
INT: 30
AC: 20
DR: 20
Actions: 3
Medical Attention: Heals 40 damage off of the target. Damages undead.
Disease Vaccination: The target cannot get status effects for 3 rounds. Also cures all status effects.
Hasty Retreat: Allows the Med Unit to escape battle without any rolling.
Neurotoxin Dart: d20+10. If hit, confuses, paralyzes, poisons, and seals the target. DC 20 INT check; if fail, lose 2d6 INT until mission is over. Can only be healed by Dr. Mario. (That is, the INT damage)
Smash Dex: "End of information."
Pat tries to pyrokick a rifleman.
Metal Man (GM): *Rifleman dodges.*
Pat slams his head on his keyboard.
Editor's Note: *Rifleman helps keyboard dodge Pat's headslam*
Metal Man decides to shoot at the same rifleman.
Metal Man (GM): 60 damage. Another rifleman is dead. New round! The Arwings all concentrate on the Demolition man. They all shoot nova bombs at him. *BOOOM* He's... incinerated. The Great Fox then opens fire on Magellan's ship. Oh, right.... *ULTRA HEALING.*
Falco: "What the heck?"
Metal Man (GM): Meanwhile, Magellan's ship takes a whopping 300 damage.
Charles L. Magellan: "I'll get you for that!"
Metal Man (GM): The Medics go. Medic one heals the status effects, then heals itself. Medic 2 heals itself, then fires a dart at Charles L. Magellean.
Charles Magellean: .oO(They are a major third in themselves. If I can somehow...)
Tetra: "Yo, Fox! If you want to help, attack those medics!"
Metal Man (GM): ...It trips and falls on its face.
Charles Magellean shakes his head.
Metal Man (GM): Magellean: Counter attack?
Tetra: "..."
Charles Magellean whips out Sheik's Whip and uses it to snap it against the Medic.
Fox: "Will do."
Metal Man (GM): *WHIP.*
Charles Magellean: *25 damage after DR.*
Metal Man (GM): The Medic then gets up and heals away all the damage you did to it. The Zangals hopelessly fire at a Rifleman. 0 hits. The Commando shoots another eye laser at Charles. *TSEEEER* 60 damage, Charles loses two actions. Then he shoots at Pat with his machinegun. Hits?
Pat: *All hit.*
Metal Man (GM): 101 damage.
Charles Magellean: .oO(Must set priorities. Commando = delayed satisfied stomach. Heavy damage = Dead Commando. Top priority: Defeat Commando. Help may be necessary.)
Pat dies.
Metal Man (GM): The Riflemen then open fire en masse at Aribar.
Charles Magellean: "Each of them are a third, but the Commando must be stopped at all odds!"
Metal Man (GM): 12 damage per hit.
Aribar dies.
Metal Man (GM): Since you died, the INT damage is gone.
Aribar is shot and on the ground, but he gets back up, bleeding a bit... "...Magellan, I'll give you one chance to surrender before your entire ship becomes less than a spec of ash."
Charles Magellean: "...Destroy... commando."
Charles L. Magellan: "I'll give you no chance to surrender before your entire headquarters becomes less than a speck of ash."
Aribar: "...You've accepted your fate."
Tetra: "Are you going to use... that electric attack?"
Charles Magellean: "...All-Elemental Blast?"
Metal Man: "Ice cream delivery at point-blank?"
Aribar shakes his head to bo--... All three and composes himself. He decides to make sure the ship isn't able to get away or blow up their HQ. The elf drops Moonlight to the ground and begins softly chanting a spell and glowing a dim red as he closes his eyes. As his chanting becomes louder the elf slowly raises his hand, which now holds a glowing red orb with a white core. Aribar then opens his eyes, which are glowing white, and fires a red beam of pure and utter destruction at the ship, his body used as a conduct for a massive amount of magic as he cries out, "Ray of Destruction!" The beam probably pierces the ship around the area of its engines and continues on for a long way past the gargantuan shuttle. The elf then collapses to the ground, temporarily unconscious.
Metal Man (GM): You deal 1400% damage to the ship... which is heavily damaged, but not destroyed.
Charles L. Magellan: "Gah! He destroyed all my weapons!"
Tetra gets an idea. When it's his turn, that ship is toast!
Garrick Fy`aar decides to cut into the commando, wailing on him with three actions of instant hit goodness. 198 damage.
Metal Man (GM): 470/1000%
Charles Magellean RAMS into lowest number Rifleman that has more than 30 damage. 120% damage.
Metal Man (GM): *Another dead rifleman.*
Tetra: "So you claim we'll never beat your ship..." *He gets a smug look on his face. "Let's see if you can take a little overtime!" *He presses a few buttons, Overclocking the ship.
Metal Man (GM): The ship shoots sparks and throws some bolts... but isn't dead.
Tetra: "Now for the coup de grace..."
Charles L. Magellan: "Worthless... PIECE OF JUNK!"
Tetra fires two shots with his prism laser.
Metal Man (GM): Both hit. The shots fizzle against the armor, which is apparently EXTREMELY thick.
Tetra: "Oh, right. Why did I think that would work again?"
Charles L. Magellan: "I shall teach you a lesson for that!"
Tetra: "Too bad you can't move."
Metal Man (GM): The Demolition guy fires another rocket at HQ.
SIMBER: "Shields at 20%."
Tetra: .oO(Just need a few more hits. C'mon, Fox! Blow that thing to smithereens!)
Garrick Fy`aar will take a free action to scan the sucker, if he can.
Pat wakes up. He scans the demo man.
Demolition Unit
Description: These annoying men wear black and white clothes, making them blaringly obvious. They do not hide or sneak up on you; no, they head right towards you, attacking with their deadly rocket launchers. They're usually sent to destroy entire buildings, and aren't officially a combat unit. However, they are vicious, and even worse than the rifle unit people. Once they see you, they will mindlessly shoot rockets at you until everything that resembles you is exploded.
HP: 1727/700% 1515/700%
STR: 30
SPD: 18
INT: 10
AC: 14
DR: 20
Special: Healed by explosions.
Attacks: 1

Metal Man (GM): Rocket Launcher: d20+10, deals 100 fire damage per hit.
Smash Dex: "End of information."
Pat: *Normal kick. But it misses anyhow. He goes back to sleep.*
Editor's Note: Geez, Pat sucks at roleplaying.
Metal Man shoots up another Rifleman.
Metal Man (GM): 90 damage *Another one bites the dust.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'll take care of that last demolitions man."
Metal Man (GM): The ship then... suddenly stops sparking.
Charles Magellean: "Oh what now?"
Charles L. Magellan: "If I can't shoot your pathetic headquarters, I'm going to jet!"
Metal Man (GM): The ship suddenly starts moving forward... AT EVERYONE
Pat: O_O
Tetra: "You get back here!"
Metal Man: "Ahhhhh!!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "HOLY!"
Charles Magellean: "No... MY APPETITE!"
Metal Man (GM): If you get 15 or lower, you take 80 damage.
Tetra: "YEEOOOW!"
Charles Magellean gets run over.
Tetra narrowly misses being crushed but still takes massive damage.
Metal Man (GM): That poor, poor Commander is completely crushed, taking 160 damage. He comes out alive, looking like a pancake. The Zangals are both crushed. They explode.
Tetra: "No! My robot guys!"
Metal Man (GM): It keeps on going... veering towards HQ, then turning sharply.
Tetra: "Fox... stop that ship!"
Charles L. Magellan: "Oh no! I can't turn in time!"
Metal Man (GM): *COLLIDE* The right wing is sheared off into HQ.
Tetra: "Oh... shiiii..."
Metal Man (GM): The area where Oak's lab, R&R, the Big room, and some stairs were is totally destroyed by the wing.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Holy hell..."
SIMBER: "SHIELDS DOWN; Building at 80%."
Metal Man (GM): The ship is now beginning to take off... it's off the ground, spinning wildly.
Tetra: "W-well... the good news is I don't think Magellan is going anywhere..."
Charles L. Magellan: "Ahhhhhhh!!!!"
Charles Magellean: "...Just destructive."
Metal Man (GM): The arwings shoot nova bombs at him. *BAM* *BAM* *MISS* *MISS* ...The two bombs that miss fly into HQ, blowing it entirely up ..Just kidding. The two bombs that miss fly off wildly and blow up a nearby field.
Pat recovers from near heart attack.
Metal Man (GM): The nearly ruined ship is then attacked by the Great Fox. All three hit... 300 damage. The almost completely destroyed shuttle is still getting away!
Fox: "Someone shoot him down! He'll be out of range before we can fire again!"
Metal Man (GM): The medics both flee the battle, via jetpacks. The commando opens fire on Charles.
Charles Magellean: "No... my meal!"
Metal Man (GM): With two machinegun blasts. Charles takes 80 damage.
Julian Sawyer: *Falls out of a generic blue warp portal he slipped into when his player went away.*
Metal Man (GM): What's your HP at? Because I'm thinking of a different system of handling it with you. Okay, that's 37 over... That's not fatal for you. That's a KO for you, which means you need Dr. Mario to heal you. I'm using a somewhat more D&D version for you, since you aren't a Quester. So consider yourself unable to participate for the rest of the mission.
Charles Magellean wobbles to the left and right... he collapses to his knees, then to the ground.
Tetra: "Mr. Magellean? You okay?"
Metal Man (GM): The Rifle Platoon fires at Tetra.
Tetra: "Hey, stop that!"
Charles Magellean is now lifeless, no moving.
Metal Man (GM): Charles would be currently KO'd.
Tetra is gunned down and drops beside Charles.
Metal Man (GM): Ooh! Moral dilemma! Does Aribar blow up Charles Magellan's ship, or revive Charles Magellean?
Aribar slowly gets back up, stumbling about.
Julian Sawyer: "...Where's R&R?"
Aribar: "Uuuuuuhg..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Aribar, hit the ship!"
Charles Magellean's body is numb.
Aribar shakes his head and looks to the cold Magellean on the ground, and the cold-hearted Magellan in the air. He downs a Green Potion and hopes it restores at least some of his arcane energies.
Charles L. Magellan: "I'll escape you, even through this spinning washing machine ship!"
Aribar shakes his head a few times, the symbols to his spells fuzzy... The elf walks over to Locos and begins chanting a Revive spell. "R-raise Dead..."
Charles Magellean begins to spasm a bit here and then... He lifts his legs then tosses his upper body into the air. He lands on his feet as they go down to the ground. "Shoo!" *He looks around... who did it?* "...Ari? ...You helped me?"
Garrick Fy`aar is slowly getting to his feet from that huge jump he made to escape the ship. He pulls the Einhammer from his back holster, swinging it up into firing position as he takes aim at the tossing and turning ship... this is all he's got... he growls and unleashes a concentrated burst of magical energy from the gun, three actions worth, hitting it automatically for 198 damage and hopefully putting it out of commotion...
Aribar nods, still a bit weak. "Y-yeah... Owe it to you."
Metal Man (GM): *0 damage.*
Charles Magellean: "...Thank you."
Garrick Fy`aar: "DAMN IT! You've got to be kidding me..."
Charles Magellean takes out... the Pseudo-cube bazooka.
Charles L. Magellan: "You'll remember this as the day that you almost caught Charles L. Magellan!"
Garrick Fy`aar falls on his knees, groaning. He's so tired...
Charles Magellean begins powering up the trump card.
Tetra gets back up off the ground. "He's still here... I can get him."
Charles Magellean: "Young Ward, do what you can to either slow down his ship or defeat it. We're almost there!"
Tetra fires two salvos of missiles, targeting the weak points where the ship's armor has been blown off.
Julian Sawyer: "I need to get a gun or something..."
Metal Man (GM): Tetra's attack is also in vain. The ship's armor remains tough. The Demolition guy shoots HQ with a rocket. *BAM* There goes a random room! *miss* Pat gets an award! *Most unlucky person on Nintendus* Pat gains 1300 coins for being so unlucky.
Pat: *Thanks... I think... He kicks the demoman.*
Metal Man (GM): The Demolition man is not damaged. However, he falls backwards. His rocket launcher hits the ground. The rocket goes flying out of it.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Charles Magellean: "...Couldn't Ari use Chaos Control so I'm able to fire the Star Rod/Pseudo Bazooka combo?"
Metal Man (GM): It flies through HQ, barely missing exploding. Then it flies past Star Fox ...Then it flies through a hole into the ship and explodes.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Aribar: "I don't have the strength, Magellean."
Charles L. Magellan: "What's that noise? AHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): *BOOOOM.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...doesn't matter.'"
Julian Sawyer: "I don't think that's necessary..."
Pat: "..."
Metal Man (GM): The entire shuttle explodes into a million pieces.
Julian Sawyer: "Hooray for Pat!"
Pat: "I destroyed the ship? What?"
Tetra: "Well... I guess we did get him. Guess we just needed a big enough missile."
Charles Magellean: "...Of all the times I've been in battles, this is the one that is entirely the flukiest."
Pat: "... ...WHAT?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "That was pure, unfathomed, luck."
Pat: "..."
Metal Man: "...Well, good going. You defeated him by messing up."
Julian Sawyer: "Yup..."
Pat: "...The ONE time I hit something..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "But by GOD it was cool."
Pat: "... ...WHAT?"
Charles Magellean: "...Fire... explosion... good."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...now, who wants to go raid the sucker?"
Charles Magellean looks to the demo man...
Metal Man (GM): The remaining soldiers, commandos, and the like, go running away screaming.
Commando: "Ahhhhhhhh!!!!"
Julian Sawyer: "And so, the Stadium is saved to be destroyed another day..."
Tetra: "Saved? Half the Stadium is blown apart!"
Charles Magellean: "...20% of it actually."
Julian Sawyer: "Yeah, HALF. 20%, whatever."
SIMBER: "Make that 30%."
Julian Sawyer: "BAH!"
Metal Man (GM): The Demolition man is stuck on the ground. Garrick gains...
Tetra: "... you people cause way too much collateral damage."
Julian Sawyer: "That's our job."
Metal Man (GM): 5,377 coins for predicting the future. Oh, right. Your EXP.
Tetra sighs.
Metal Man (GM): 5000 EXP. Everybody also gains 5000 coins.
Aribar: *LEVELUP! ... FINALLY!*
Julian Sawyer: *Did That.*
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAY!"
Metal Man (GM): *LEVELUP* *LEVELUP.*
Charles Magellean uses inhale on the demo grounded man.
Metal Man (GM): *Inhaled.*
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Pat: *I dunno the EXP levels, but going from 3000 EXP to 8000 EXP, I predict a level up.*
Tetra: *LEVEL 20'D!*
Charles Magellean copies and damages it for 10.
Pat: *So I also get 2000 coins per level up, right?*
Metal Man (GM): Yes. Roughly 5 hours straight.
Pat: *So I've gained about... 20,000 coins in one battle.*
Garrick Fy`aar: *14377 coins, I have earned.*
Metal Man (GM): I earned 9000 coins.
Tetra: *18:23 - 23:04*
Charles Magellean swallows the demolition guy. Hmm...
Pat: *I love you, Metal.*
Charles Magellean: "...Taste like cabbage."
Metal Man (GM): Charles gains: Destructive Rocket
Garrick Fy`aar: "...quick question, guys."
Tetra: *4 hours and 41 minutes for that battle.*
Julian Sawyer: "You'se crazy."
Garrick Fy`aar: "What the hell are we going to do about that?" *He motions toward the stadium.*
Tetra: "We fix it, duh."
Julian Sawyer: "Eh. It'll get fixed."
Metal Man: "Oh, well, SIMBER will fix it up. Mack, too."
Julian Sawyer: "Mack?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "I plan on helping as well, I guess."
Metal Man: "Mack the repairman."
Julian Sawyer: "We have a repairman? Sweet."
Metal Man (GM): Mack runs out, looking angry.
Tetra: "We have several, I think."
Mack: "HOW DID YOU CRASH A SPACE SHUTTLE INTO HQ?!?!?!?!?!"
Tetra: "I'll help fix it too. But first, I'm tired."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Uh, we didn't. Locos' evil twin did."
Julian Sawyer: "We didn't! Another guy did!"
Mack: "...Yeah right."
Garrick Fy`aar slowly stomps up to Mack...
Tetra: "Shutup, stupid lackey."
Mack: "Stupid lackey? I could take you in a battle."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we just fought an ARMY! A FULL LIVE BLASTED ARMY!!!"
Julian Sawyer: "Yeah!"
Mack: "...You fought... an entire army?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "YES, DAMN IT!"
Mack: "That came out of a... space shuttle?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "YES!"
Aribar stumbles up into the HQ, half asleep on his feet.
Julian Sawyer: "Yeah!"
Metal Man (GM): Mack looks at the tape of the carnage, and passes out onto the ground.
Tetra: "Idiot."
Julian Sawyer: "...People are fainting allover the place..."
Tetra kicks Mack as he steps over him and heads back into HQ.
Metal Man: "I wouldn't believe it either. Now let's get inside... it's awfully bleak around here..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...just be glad it's over, cause it ain't."
Metal Man picks up Mack, stepping over various craters and burns on the ground.
Julian Sawyer: "What's with him?" *Picks up Mack and heads inside.*
Tetra: "Trust me, guy. Evil Magellean is DEAD."
Metal Man helps Julian drag Mack.
Garrick Fy`aar moves into the stadium as well, cracking his neck and groaning "Maybe we'll get a bit more respect around here now..."
Julian Sawyer: "Yeah, maybe they'll take out the WHOLE stadium next time."
Charles Magellean: "...I'm still hungry."
Metal Man: "They did that once. We just rebuilt."
Tetra: "Respect. Right. And maybe discounts at G&W's shop too."
Aribar bumps into several walls on his way to his room, and once there, provided it isn't asploded, he just collapses onto the bed and falls asleep.
Metal Man (GM): Aribar: Your room is fine. However, Tetra's got exploded.
Charles Magellean: "My stomachs' only 17.3882% satisfied!"
Metal Man (GM): Pat's is just fine.
Tetra opens the door to his room and stares blankly into the wreckage. "Figures." *He goes to R&R to sleep on the couch.*
Julian Sawyer: "I hope he didn't take out the kitchen..."
Metal Man (GM): The kitchen is just fine.
Charles Magellean checks his room quickly.
Tetra stares blankly at the remnants of R&R. "O... kay."
Garrick Fy`aar looks at his own...
Charles Magellean is relieved.
Julian Sawyer: *Checks out his room, and then heads for the kitchen to finish that snack he was making.*
Charles Magellean walks mindlessly... thinking of only two things...
Metal Man (GM): Charles: You would notice the kitchen.
Charles Magellean: .oO(Huuunnngrrryyy... Shhhaaaaaadoooowww...)
Tetra goes to sleep in Metal's room.
Metal Man (GM): The door is locked. It says 'Danger: Keep out'
Julian Sawyer: *Is in the kitchen, finishing up that sandwich he was making before the attack.*
Charles Magellean notices ...why is... .oO(hUNGRY!)
Garrick Fy`aar walks into GW's place. "...even if the entire world attacked us, GW would still be..."
Charles Magellean uses a Giant punch on it.
Garrick Fy`aar looks around...
Aribar with Metal's permission, takes the slot machine instead of his 2000 coins.
Editor's Note: Wow, I have to allow such absurdity again sometime, the thought of people literally gambling their victory money is strangely hilarious.
Charles Magellean enters the kitchen.
Garrick Fy`aar is wondering if GW is still alive.
Julian Sawyer: "Doot doot doo, making a sandwich..."
Charles Magellean looks to Julian....
Metal Man (GM): 3560 coins to Aribar.
Charles Magellean eyes pulsate.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...HEY! Game and Watch!"
Mr. Game and Watch: "What?"
Tetra decides to take the slots as well... for both his level ups.
Garrick Fy`aar slams the Einhammer on the table top. It shakes... the table top that is.
Julian Sawyer: *Humming* "...Finished!"
Metal Man (GM): 14001 + 10,060 coins
Garrick Fy`aar: "Recharge the Destroy in this thing to full."
Julian Sawyer: "Sandwichtastic."
Mr. Game and Watch: "That will be 10,000 coins."
Charles Magellean wets his lips... he's hungry....
Julian Sawyer: *Picks up his sandwich and turns around... To face Charles.* "..."
Garrick Fy`aar pays.
Metal Man (GM): *Recharg'd.*
Charles Magellean: "...@_@ TWITCH..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Ah, good. I also..."
Julian Sawyer: "Go make your own man, this one's mine."
Garrick Fy`aar pulls out a long piece of paper "...have a shopping list."
Julian Sawyer: *Starts edging towards the door as he says this.*
Mr. Game and Watch: "...So I see."
Tetra: "Sigh..."
Charles Magellean begins to open his mouth and use inhale...
Metal Man (GM): *Tetra is now wealthy.*
Tetra goes back to his room and salvages his Item Box.
Julian Sawyer: *Runs for it!* "Aw hell!"
Charles Magellean: "!"
Metal Man (GM): Roll for it, Charles.
Tetra goes to look for Metal.
Charles Magellean begins to chase after Julian.
Metal Man (GM): Metal would be... nowhere to be found, yet.
Tetra: "..." *He looks for someone else then.*
Metal Man (GM): Tetra finds Charles chasing Julian.
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAH!"
Tetra: "Hey, Mr. Magellean, I..."
Julian Sawyer: "MY SANDWICH!" *Kicks it into high gear.*
Tetra: "What the hey...?" *He shakes his head and goes to G&W's shop.*
Metal Man (GM): They pass by Kirby, who then begins chasing.
Kirby: "Puyo!!!"
Charles Magellean: "FOOD! I Want you to be my food!"
Julian Sawyer: "AHHH!" *Runs faster.*
Metal Man (GM): *Plays that British chase music.*
Tetra: "Hey, G&W, do you know if there's any spare rooms around?"
Julian Sawyer: "THE KITCHEN'S BACK THERE!"
Mr. Game and Watch: "Yes. Do you need keys?"
Aribar continues snoring in his room.
Tetra: "Probably."
Metal Man (GM): He gives you a key.
Mr. Game and Watch: "Room 052."
Tetra: "Thanks."
Kirby: "Puyo!!!"
Charles Magellean: "BELLAY!"
Julian Sawyer: "MINE!"
Tetra goes to the new room, puts his Item Box on the ground near his bed, along with his glasses, and goes to sleep.
Metal Man (GM): The chasin' trio is now in the stands of the arena... during a fight between Metal Sonic and Shadow.
Metal Man suddenly starts running from Julian "Ahhhhhhh!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Various crowd members are knocked around as the chase runs through.
Metal Man: "I didn't take your pay! I swear, it was VG! And he was drunk!"
Charles Magellean: "MY STOMACH GRUMBLES FOR YOOOUUUU!"
Julian Sawyer: "Whoa!" *Jumps over various crowd members like an Olympic hurdler.*
Charles Magellean makes an even higher jump.
Kirby: "Puyooooooo!!!"
Metal Man clumsily runs THROUGH people, knocking them out of the way and breaking chairs.
Metal Man (GM): *Kirby leaps from person's head to person's head.*
Announcer: "And we have some sort of chase scene going on in the audience area! Oh no, they're heading towards the arena!"
Julian Sawyer: *Tries jumping over Metal's head, or at least speeding up enough to pass him, so Charles and Kirby are at least one more person behind.*
Metal Man speeds up as well, leading everybody across a 'staff only' bridge onto the arena.
Metal Sonic: "What are these people doing in the arena?"
Julian Sawyer: "Why are YOU running, Metal?!"
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAH!"
Shadow: "Perfect! I'll use them as a barrier!"
Metal Man: "Don't kill me for letting VG mismanage your money!"
Kirby: "Puyo!"
Julian Sawyer: *In a flash of brilliance, Julian tosses the sandwich to Shadow* "Catch!"
Metal Man (GM): You all now run through the current battlefield, which is located in the Digital Airport. Some sort of weird electronic people are randomly shooting at things ..And they shoot the sandwich. Sandwich: *Explode* It explodes in Shadow's face.
Shadow: "Why... I'm going to make you pay for that!"
Charles Magellean is not concerned with the sandwich. He wants JULIAN to be in his belly!"
Metal Man (GM): Shadow chases after you as well... who is chased by Metal Sonic.
Charles Magellean chases Julian some more.
Julian Sawyer: "This is f**king crazy!" *Runs some more.*
Announcer: "This fight has suddenly joined the chase! ...And they're heading for Game and Watch's shop!"
Metal Man: "Ahhhhh!!! No, Shadow, I didn't steal your bagel yesterday!"
Kirby: "Puyo!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "And I want this... and this..." *He is still in G&W's shop...*
Metal Man (GM): The chase continues, now into Game and Watch's, where Garrick is going on and on.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Whan the hell?!"
Metal Man (GM): The note becomes hooked onto Metal Sonic.
Metal Man: "Ahhhhhh!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): As well as some merchandise, which Metal runs through. *SMASH.*
Julian Sawyer: "Idea!" *Julian tries grabbing a Deku Nut off the shelf and throwing it down, trying to do one of those cool Ninja Disappearance things.*
Metal Man (GM): *BONK* It hits Garrick instead.
Tetra steps into the hall.
Garrick Fy`aar: "OW!"
Julian Sawyer: *FLASH.*
Tetra: "Hey! Keep it down out here!"
Metal Man runs over Tetra, who is now in the hall. "Ahhhhh!!!!"
Tetra: "ACK!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Damn it, Julian! I'm going to strangle you!"
Julian Sawyer: *Jumps over Tetra.*
Garrick Fy`aar races after him.
Tetra gets up. "I'll get you for that!"
Shadow: "You're going to pay for hitting me with a sandwich!"
Tetra begins chasing as well.
Julian Sawyer: "I just wanted a midnight snack!"
Charles Magellean jumps over Tetra as well.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Come back here!"
Julian Sawyer: "Never!"
Garrick Fy`aar leaps over Tetra, using his quickness to try and catch up to him.
Tetra: "I just want people to stop making ruckus in the halls!"
Metal Sonic: "I'm going to beat you, Shadow, even if it takes chasing you everywhere!"
Tetra: "I've got it!"
Metal Man (GM): You all are now running upstairs... into that room Metal marked 'DANGER' and locked.
Tetra casts a spell, causing an Iron Plate to pop up in front of everyone.
Metal Man runs right into the plate... smashing a hole through it. "Ow!!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar just leaps over it.
Julian Sawyer: *Isn't really watching where he's going right now, as long as it isn't into a wall or into Charles.*
Tetra: "Sorry! ...wait, no I'm not."
Garrick Fy`aar: "COME BACK HERE, DAMN IT!"
Julian Sawyer: *Jumps through the hole.*
Charles Magellean punches right through the wall.
Julian Sawyer: "You should have moved!"
Metal Man runs through that door that's marked danger, which leads to some old library... that's shaped like a maze.
Tetra: "I'll get you for waking me up and trampling me!"
Metal Man: "Ahhhh!!! The maze library!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "I don't care if we're at Kinkos! Julian is getting a major hiney whoopin'!"
Editor's Note: Ah, Kinkos... a now long gone copy shop.
Metal Man (GM): At this point, everybody winds up running down a curved area... where it's dark and dusty.
Julian Sawyer: "Library? What the hell?"
Tetra jumps through the hole Metal made and into the Library.
Metal Man: "I didn't steal your oreos! VG did!"
Tetra: "Whoah... okay, where are we?"
Julian Sawyer: "I didn't make Oreos!"
Shadow: "You owe me money for insulting me in front of fans!"
Tetra: *What? VG stole my Oreos?!*"
Julian Sawyer: "You should have caught the sandwich!"
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAY!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "I said KINKOS, DAMN IT!"
SIMBER: "Current location: Maze library."
Kirby: "PUYO!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Everybody reaches a hole in the wall... which leads into Tetra's devastated room.
Metal Man: "At last! Somewhere to flee!"
Tetra: "My room! This is your fault, Metal!"
Metal Man leaps through the hole.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Hey, doesn't that lead into... a vast fall?"
Tetra chases Metal through the hole.
Shadow: "I don't care, I'm going to get that person! Sandwich-thrower!"
Garrick Fy`aar leaps through the hole as well, after Metal and Tetra and Locos and most DEFINITELY Julian.
Tetra jumps off the ground and now starts flying toward Metal.
Metal Man (GM): Tetra's devastated room leads to... a pile of rubble, where a Commando is staring up at you.
Commando: "Oh no! My top-secret surveillance has been discovered!"
Metal Man (GM): He begins running.
Metal Man: "What? You're still here? Die!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "A commando! Bust him!"
Metal Man runs after the Commando, which leads out into a field.
Julian Sawyer: "Get him!"
Garrick Fy`aar draws his guns as he runs after him.
Julian Sawyer: *Runs some more.*
Tetra: "Commando!"
Shadow: "...Get him? What? I just want satisfaction!"
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAH!" *He chases the Julian some more.*
Metal Sonic: "I'll destroy you, coward! Stop running!"
Metal Man (GM): You're now running towards the ruins of the space shuttle.
Garrick Fy`aar: "COME BACK HERE!"
Metal Man (GM): Which are still flaming hot.
Garrick Fy`aar fires off a few crack shots into the air.
Julian Sawyer: "NEVER!"
Metal Man (GM): Fox is there, near his Arwing.
Tetra narrowly avoids Garrick's shots. "Hey, watch it!"
Fox: "...I don't like the looks of this..."
Commando: "Yes! A space ship! Freedom!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Tackle him, Fox!"
Metal Man: "Come back here! I need to make you pay!"
Julian Sawyer: "Why won't the madness end?!"
Fox: "...I'll try..."
Tetra: "And I need to get you for blowing up my room along with my Samus Aran action figure collection!"
Charles Magellean: "GET IN MA BELLAH and this entire thing will stop!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "WOULD YOU SHUT UP WITH THE OLD AS CRAP AUSTIN POWERS JOKES?!?!?!"
Editor's Note: Ouch, ice burn. Especially since if it was old then, it's over a decade older now.
Julian Sawyer: "Eat someone else!"
Metal Man (GM): Fox tries to grab the commando, but instead winds up being trapped in the mob, being dragged by the Commando.
Fox: "Ahhhh!!!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): The Commando then leaps into the arwing... which then takes off. Metal grabs onto it.
Julian Sawyer: *Grabs onto Metal's leg.*
Metal Man: "I'll get you, Mr. Hijacker!"
Garrick Fy`aar runs and grabs Julian's leg.
Julian Sawyer: "SAVE ME!"
Charles Magellean grabs onto Julian's Garrick's legs.
Garrick Fy`aar: "COME HERE, YOU LITTLE..."
Tetra flies up and grabs onto Magellean's legs.
Commander: "Ahhhhh! There's too many people attached! I can't make it to outer space!"
Falco: "I'll take you down!"
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...oh crap..."
Metal Man (GM): Falco is now chasing the chain of people, firing at the Arwing.
Garrick Fy`aar looks down...
Tetra: "This can't be good."
Julian Sawyer: "This is thoroughly ridiculous!"
Metal Man: "Ahhhhh!!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Falco! You're going to blow us all up!"
Julian Sawyer: "AHHHHH!!!!!"
Fox: "...I should have run away screaming."
Tetra: "We're all gonna DIEEEEEEEE!"
Charles Magellean: "Give up, Julian!"
Julian Sawyer: "Never! Eat Garrick!"
Metal Man (GM): You all fly towards what looks like Eggman in his Egg Hornet.
Tetra: "Oh, crap."
Dr. Eggman?: "Oh no! Team Star Fox has caught me! I must flee!"
Commando: "I'm not the enemy! Save me!"
Metal Man (GM): Eggman is now being chased by the ship.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Shadow: "I didn't exactly plan on flying HUNDREDS OF FEET OFF THE GROUND! Now let go and pay!"
Kirby: "...Pu-yo..."
Metal Sonic: "The logicality of this situation is -13%."
Metal Man: "I'll get you! Just slow down so I can climb in and beat you up!"
Julian Sawyer: "We're all gonna die horribly, aren't we?"
Tetra: "Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down." *He looks down. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" *He squeezes VERY tightly around Magellean's legs.
Metal Man (GM): The arwing flies into Eisnaught...
Garrick Fy`aar: "GET BACK HERE, Julian! I've yet to make you suffer great masses of PAIN!"
Metal Man (GM): Chasing Eggman.
Dr. Eggman?: "Ahhhhhhh!!!"
Metal Man (GM): You're now on the holographic highway...
Julian Sawyer: "This is going to wind up making the news, won't it?"
Metal Man (GM): And Falco is being chased by... guess what? The Armored Truck gang from long ago.
Tetra: "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "What the HELL?!?"
Gangster: "Come back here! I have yet to shoot you down for blowing up our truck!"
Garrick Fy`aar: *we fought them.*
Julian Sawyer: "Kirby! Drop something on their heads!"
Tetra: "Ahhhh! Gangsters! Faster!!"
Metal Man: "I'd turn around, but then I might be killed, and take too many people with me."
Commando: "Save meeeee!!!!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Metal, just CLIMB UP onto the ship!"
Tetra sets off his jet boots in a futile attempt at going faster... but ends up just blasting Shadow in the face.
Charles Magellean: "Hey! EASY."
Shadow: "Ow!"
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH* Everyone smashes through the highway... and is now free-falling.
Commando: "Oh no! I'm out of gas!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "HOW CAN AN ARWING BE OUT OF GAS?!?!?!"
Falco: "Gah! That crash damaged the G-diffuser!"
Julian Sawyer: "I'm amazed that Metal has this much upper-arm--" *POW'D!* "AHHHHH!!!!"
Editor's Note: He can push an entire building over at Sephiroth, so...
Tetra: "Did... did he just say he's out of... g... gas...? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Shadow: "...I'd use chaos control, but if I moved my arm, I'd be dead!"
Metal Sonic: "..."
Kirby: *scared face.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY FROM THE FALL!"
Julian Sawyer: "We're all falling!"
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH.*
Tetra: "I don't wanna die again!"
Metal Man (GM): Everyone lands on Doopliss's ship. Valhalla.
Tetra: *WHAM!*
Metal Man: "...Argh..."
Garrick Fy`aar: *SLAM!*
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Tetra: "Ow... hey, it's Doopliss!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...dahhhhhhhhhh..."
Julian Sawyer: *KER-POW'D!*
Charles Magellean lands on his head then ricochets back up.
Tetra: "I hope he's not upset I forgot to tell him I was leaving..."
Doopliss: "What are you doing riding the top of my ship? I thought I was the only one who did that?"
Julian Sawyer: "...My back..."
Shadow: "...Who are you?"
Metal Sonic: "Where are we?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...it's Doopliss."
Julian Sawyer: *Gets up.*
Kirby: "Puyo?"
Tetra: "Hi, Mr. Doopliss. I... can't feel my legs..."
Charles Magellean: "...It's time we got back to business."
Julian Sawyer: "We're currently on top of a spaceship..."
Charles Magellean starts to chase after Julian again.
Doopliss: "...I forgot... if I'm up here, who's flying the ship?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Yes, right. Excuse us, Doopliss, we're kinda busy."
Julian Sawyer: "Augh!" *Runs, trying not to fall off.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship veers towards Doughnut City.
Tetra: "Yeah. Metal blew up my room and my Samus Aran action figure collection!" *He chases after Metal.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "HOLD IT!!"!
Metal Man runs from Julian.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...meh." *He races after Julian.*
Charles Magellean: "Get back here, meal!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...ahem... COME BACK HERE!!!"
Julian Sawyer: "I JUST WANTED A FREAKING SANDWICH!"
Metal Man: "Ahhhhhh!!!!"
Charles Magellean: "You are MY sandwich!"
Tetra: "DIE, METAL MAN!"
Metal Man (GM): Everybody races down inside. Kappa is sitting around, when he suddenly sees Metal Man.
Metal Man: "...Ahhhhhh!!!"
Julian Sawyer: "You don't have any bread!"
Kappa: "Ahhhhh!!!"
Metal Man (GM): The Phi-fusion flees....
Garrick Fy`aar: "You're not going to eat him! I'm going to MURDER HIM!"
Metal Man (GM): You're all now at the bridge.
Julian Sawyer: *Looks for a parachute or something while he's running.*
Charles Magellean: "No way! What could he possibly do to you that is more important than my food??"
Metal Man (GM): Then... you finally reach the warp room. Metal leaps into a warp pipe.
Julian Sawyer: *Leaps after him.*
Garrick Fy`aar leaps after him.
Tetra flies after the others.
Charles Magellean leaps in after Garrick that's after Julian.
Metal Man (GM): Kirby, Metal Sonic, and Shadow follow... And you all warp back to HQ... 'cept Tetra is in the now ruined R&R, Metal's in his room, Kirby, Julian, and Charles are in the kitchen, and Shadow and Metal Sonic are where they are supposed to be.
SIMBER: "...Endless chase scene averted."
Garrick Fy`aar slams head first into G&W's tabletop.
Editor's Note: A prelude to Garrick's table? Wait, no, that's 3-4 years later.
Tetra falls on a pile of what used to be the couch.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Tetra: "Ow..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...oww..."
Charles Magellean: "That was fun..."
Julian Sawyer: *Lands on top of Charles.*
Charles Magellean: "Ooof!" *He gets up after pushing Julian off of him.*
Julian Sawyer: *Looks around, grabs Kirby, and stuffs him in Charles' mouth then runs.*
Tetra just falls asleep right there in the rubble.
Charles Magellean mouth is stuffed, literally. He spits Kirby right out.
Kirby: "Puyo..."
Julian Sawyer: *Slams and locks the kitchen door, and looks for a hiding place while Charles is occupied.*
Charles Magellean: "Can we do that again?"
Garrick Fy`aar gets back up slowly, looking to GW "...that was... insane..."
Metal Man (GM): Kirby passes out.
Charles Magellean: "Little guy must be tuckered out."
Mr. Game and Watch: "...Well, your list dropped on the floor. I picked it up." *Points to list back on counter.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "...thanks... I'll... just take the stuff from the counter and go..." *KER-SLAP!*
Metal Man (GM): Well, that was the most insane session ever.
Editor's Note: There's been more insane sessions than that, buddy. Just look at ye olde air conditioner hell mission back when.
Charles Magellean goes into G&W's shop. He looks left and right suspiciously.
Mr. Game and Watch: "Looking for something you dropped earlier while trying to eat Julian?"
Charles Magellean: "Hey, I was THIS close to getting him in ma bellay. ...I just need to soften him up a bit before doing it."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Yes, and the large parade of people chasing you didn't appear to be helping."
Charles Magellean remembers sleeping from R&R's ceiling. After this hibernation, it causes a Lunarian to become... hungry. "Now then... ... ... . ..., ... ... . ... . ... ..."
Mr. Game and Watch: "...Are you okay? ...Okay, fine, but my selection is really bad this time of year."
Metal Man (GM): *Game and Watch opens a panel and walks into some secret room.*
Charles Magellean: "Your 'selections' must be bad if I can't go in there."
Mr. Game and Watch: "You can come in."
Charles Magellean goes inside, looking to the exotics. ...Yep, not as ripe this year.
Mr. Game and Watch: "So then, what should I show you?"
Charles Magellean: "I have enough weapons."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Enough weapons, you say? What can I get for you then?"
Charles Magellean: "Yesiree, I'm looking forward to... badges, this time."
Mr. Game and Watch: "...A badge? ...There is only one. It is... in a place so remote, the only way there is hidden in here. Another dimension. Are you familiar with other dimensions, sir?"
Charles Magellean: "You looking at a guy that is not from this dimension."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Very well then... however, this dimension... I hear it makes the X-zone look normal. It is called... the Meh dimension. Named that way, because whoever created it probably went 'Meh' and never bothered to create natural order to govern the random things that came in."
Charles Magellean: "...Worse than E Li three?"
Mr. Game and Watch: "...Frightening things in there... Team Rocket... Sephiroth... clones of people... E Li Three was created there, I hear. He would be a normal resident there. I haven't gone there for a million years. It's... just too dangerous, I say."
Charles Magellean: "...Hmm..."
Mr. Game and Watch: "But... the only exclusive badge for your taste... lies there."
Charles Magellean: "Lemme get back to it. If other people knew I wore a Badge, I'd be worse than a hypocrite."
Mr. Game and Watch: "But this badge... you'd make them look like buffoons! It does all sorts of neat things. I hear it can bestow life after death."
Charles Magellean: "And the dangerous part you said?"
Mr. Game and Watch: "Well... the path to it is clogged with insane things."
Charles Magellean: "My stomach can't handle spices until I eat another normal... I'll get back to it when I can... I suppose one more weapon or illegal item can't hurt."
Mr. Game and Watch: "A shame, really. You could be prosperous, if you survived the trip. That dimension is full of valuable and rare objects."
Charles Magellean: "The army that came yesterday put things in perspective. Gotta be stronger to get in there."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Very well. Perhaps the fact that common enemies are the strongest would be a bit much for you. Hmmm... illegal items... uhhh..." *Looks around frantically* "You seem to possess items that make these things look like common trinkets. The Star Rod alone is unequaled. Let alone that chaos emerald..."
Charles Magellean opens the blackpowder compartment. "Here's something for ya. Blackpowder straight from Grunty's deadly cube of doom."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Well, I could offer you... uhhh... Hmmm... one second." *Goes rummaging Comes back out.*
Charles Magellean: "...Put explosive powder in chocolate, convince the enemy it tastes like candy, and ba-boom!"
Mr. Game and Watch: "I have one thing for you. There's this... special object here. I don't know what it does." *Hands Charles a golden doughnut* "I'll give you that for the blackpowder."
Charles Magellean gives blackpowder to G&W. "Gotta be very potent... maybe. After we take out the Ice castle in the north, I'll be back for the badge."
Mr. Game and Watch: "Okay, good." *Motions to exit the room.*
Charles Magellean: "Oh... right." *He leaves the room.*
Mr. Game and Watch: *Leaves the room, shutting the secret panel behind him.*
Charles Magellean: "I'll also buy a Speed Capsule." *He takes out a paper bag and bags a whole lot of coins from the suitcase. He puts it on a counter.*
Mr. Game and Watch: "Sure." *Gives Charles his Speed Capsule.*
Charles Magellean chomps on it with a slight inhale. "...20.438328191848570384% filled. I'll be back one day."

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