Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 230: Illian's Punchline
Date: 4:16:43 PM, August 9th; 6:42:27 PM, August 13th, 2005.
Editor's Note: This log is the keystone that holds most of SSQ's meta plot together... ...so, yeah, a lot more important than most Season 5 logs.
MrMonster: "... I don't think you want to fall down there." *The Trulander states the obvious as he crosses the bridge.*
Digifanatic: "Yeah..."
Azure: "How about not looking down." *Azure contines on his way following everyone.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "But look at the other bridges."
???: "We have you now, Questers!"
Charles Magellean looks both ways before crossing the first bridge.
???2: "Have you, we do, now!"
Tridus: "!!!???"
Azure: "I just had to say it could get worse didn't I..."
Nick Caligo (GM): The doors through which you came slam shut.
Aetos: "He talks like those weirdos..."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...well, they got the 'cut off the exit' part right. You can at least give them that much."
Digifanatic: "...yeah..."
Azure: "And the dramatic we have you now thing to..."
Charles Magellean draws his miniguns.
MrMonster looks back to the doors before turning to the sound of the voices and unsheathing his mighty greatsword, Racualk.
Garrick Fy`aar: "If I were to guess, they'd be up high... on a ledge..."
Tridus: *Shrug* "I want to see what's going on."
Nick Caligo (GM): Garrick: You aren't wrong.
Azure: *Feet slide a bit as he goes into a defensive stance.*
Garrick Fy`aar: "See? Obligatory bad guy style."
Nick Caligo (GM): You see, across the chasm... and then across another chasm... a balcony above a door. It's not so much a balcony as an observation platform, really.
Azure: "So it would seem."
Tridus: *Points sword at the balcony* "Who goes there?"
Digifanatic: "I dunno... Seems like quite a long way to not get caught..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Standing on it would be two very short looking figures, each dressed in precisely matching clothing; pointy shoes, jester's hats, and clothes with overlong, baggy arms.
Tridus: "...This is worse than Team Rocket. Ugh. At least they had fashion sense."
Nick Caligo (GM): Their faces are white, with marks downward across their eyes that match the color of each of their respective clothings; one is blue, one red. The blue one steps forward. "I am Zorn." The red one follows suit. "And Thorn am I!"
Charles Magellean scratches his head in curiousity.
Zorn: "Master Kuja has sent us to destroy you."
Thorn: "Destroy you on Master Kuja's orders, we shall!"
Charles Magellean: "In that case..."
Zorn: "That fool Skyhigh failed."
Thorn: "Punished, he has been!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Kuja... sent you guys?"
MrMonster: "... So you're some of Kuja's lackeys? ... Great."
Tridus: "Skyhigh's an idiot. He was doomed to fail."
Charles Magellean adjust his contacts. He holsters his miniguns.
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn looks to Thorn and tilts his head. "Do you think he screamed?" Thorn does the same, tilting his head the other way. "Screamed loudly, he did."
Azure: "Poor guy."
Nick Caligo (GM): They both look back towards you and nod. "And we shall do the same to you!"
Digifanatic: .oO(That's some weird speech...)
Azure: "One question before we start."
Tridus: "Skyhigh? Poor? He's an idiot who has attacked us on and off repeatedly."
Zorn: "No questions."
Thorn: "Answered you shall not be!"
Garrick Fy`aar rolls his eyes at Azure
Charles Magellean: "Then at least know I will not attack."
Azure: "Does the second always have to answer the response of the first geez."
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn and Thorn both cast opposing hands--Zorn the right, Thorn the left--out towards you. "Demi!" "Bio!" Azure's health is cut in half; a dark ball of gravity appears around him and crushes his body. Digi takes 25 damage and is poisoned. Green, noxious bubbles surround him as he takes the damage.
Digifanatic: "Oh man..."
Azure falls limp for a moment his arms dangle as he is smashed by opposing force. He recovers quickly enough however. "I never... did ...like... that... spell."
Nick Caligo (GM): A bright blue flash of light appears from each of their hands as comets rain from the sky over Mr. Monster and Tridus, dealing 120 damage to each of them. Well, rain from the ceiling anyway.
MrMonster grunts as he takes the hit, and is pretty bruised, but is otherwise fine.
Nick Caligo (GM): They finish by leaping off their balcony, each doing a flip before stopping with their heads both pointed towards Azure. They rocket at him, surrounded in bright fireballs matching their respective colors.
Tridus: *Is blasted badly but survives*
Nick Caligo (GM): They each blast themselves toward you at lightning speed, electricity blitzing behind them in trails. They leave your corpse sitting there and dance jesterly on either side of it, having dealt 256 damage with both their attacks combined.
Azure's hit by there mindblowing speed his body is flung backward and toward the ground. He lays there limp and lifeless on the ground.
Zorn: "You are in trouble!"
Thorn: "Trouble you are in!"
Charles Magellean: "Magnificent. Simply dazzling and powerful your attacks were, Zorn and Thorn."
Zorn: "Silence!"
Thorn: "Be quiet!"
Charles Magellean only nods. He passes his entire turn.
Tridus: "You're nuts, Charles. Perhaps I can use that to my advantage."
Nick Caligo (GM): You return on the customary floating Quester platform sans one life. And one action, if I'm not mistaken.
Azure returns a calm look about his face. He throws one mega elixer up in the air healing everyone for 60%. Then uses his spirit which begin to float around Tridus for two turns of invincibility.
Aetos tries to think of why he skipped his actions.
Tridus: "Woah! This should help a lot..."
Digifanatic gets a harsh look at all the damage caused... he starts off with using a Fury Materia, and then tries to Fire Punch Zorn.
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi manages to miss despite feeling very very lucky.
Digifanatic defends for his last action, Eye Spying Zorn in the meanwhile.
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn... you have this weird feeling that despite his size... His HP is about 5000... That's about all you can guess.
Digifanatic: "Holy moly... this guy's gonna be around a while..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Aetos, take your missing turn.
Aetos summons a dark wind, a dark cloud starts to seep through the room... it crawls towards the blue one.
Tridus: "There's two of them, Digi. Which means twice the holy and quadruple the moley."
Aetos then runs up and drills into the same blue one, afterwards going back and defending
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn BARELY manages to sidestep out of the way, still doing his little jester-hippity-hoppity dance in place. He ducks and sidesteps both attempts to hit him... with incredible ease...
MrMonster quickly wonders whether it would be deadlier to confront these deadly foes face to face or stay back as his armor slightly regenerates his wounds... The Trulander decides to activate his Kinetic absorption move to protect him from those deadly spells (Beta PK Shield). Next Mr. Monster points at Zorn and sends off a jolt of psionic energy to confuse the mighty fool (Beta Confusion) before drinking a Blue Potion. He watches as the jester avoids his psionic attack...
Tridus: "I'll show these twerps real evil."
Zorn: "Your aim is pathetic!"
Thorn: "Coordination you do not have!"
Garrick Fy`aar draws the M150 with a lightning fast touch, using his eyes to get a look at their strength. (Eye Spy)
Azure: "Youd think they where born speaking what the other said..."
MrMonster: "I'd like to see you do better."
Tridus: "They... have been doing the better the whole time, MrMonster. I mean, they almost wiped me out with one attack. Something I don't remember you being able to do."
MrMonster glances to Tridus, knowing that, before focusing on the battle and concentrating to keep his shield up.
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn's STR is 18... Well, we already know they each have 5000 HP.
Garrick Fy`aar unloads a series of shots a Zorn, then at Thorn, then another series at Thorn.
Nick Caligo (GM): You hit Zorn once and Thorn four times. They both shudder with each hit, getting pelted back comically and not appearing to experience any more pain than traditional MMORPG enemies. 192 on Thorn, 48 on Zorn.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...they've got armor on them somewhere... or some sort of protective magic..."
Aetos: "Along with their agility, these weirdos are nearly invincible!"
Azure: "Speed is always an asset in battle. Its a shame its against us at the moment."
Tridus: "AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!" *Tridus would suddenly glow red... then suddenly throw three balls of lightning right at Zorn.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Two of them fly off to either of Zorn's sides; one hits him dead on.
Metal Man (GM): 56 electric damage.
Tridus: "Next time you shall not be as lucky."
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn and Thorn slide around and in between members of the group until they reach the center; Zorn opens his sleeve towards Garrick, Thorn leaps up and hangs in the air for a moment.
Garrick Fy`aar: "What'cha got, clown boy..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Garrick finds himself being sprayed with razor-sharp, exploding cards from Zorn. Thorn gathers in bright red energy and rockets towards him the same way he did Azure.
Garrick Fy`aar leaps in the air, guessing that 27 is for him, and spins a la Spiderman, just barely twisting out of the way of those cards
Nick Caligo (GM): You find yourself BASHED out of the air by Zorn's Jester Rocket and take 32 damage. Thorn stands on your chest and points some weird little jester-headed rod at you. "Firaga!" Zorn points a similar one at Garrick's downed body. "Demi!" Garrick's HP gets cut in half before he takes an instantaneous 60 fire damage.
Garrick Fy`aar screams as he's smashed with fire and gravity. He feels a few bones crack in his ribcage...
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn leaps back to his partner and pulls out a bag from behind his back, like in so many cartoons... you have a REALLY weird feeling that this isn't gonna be funny though. He pulls out a bag, and Zorn reaches into it, pulling out... A stuffed kitten.
Charles Magellean opens his eyes wide open. He can't believe Firaga was cast. He takes one step backward, his arms to his side, gasping for air.
Nick Caligo (GM): It explodes and deals 15 damage to either of them, covering their faces with soot. They both blink confusedly.
Garrick Fy`aar coughs up some blood before he slowly begins to stand... "They don't call me the meat shield for nothing... but then again, they don't call me the meat shield at all..."
Digifanatic: *5% poison*
Charles Magellean stands normally, though ...perplexed.
Aetos stares intently at them perform that move "That looks fun..."
Garrick Fy`aar keeps it up with the M150, slamming in some armor piercing rounds as he unloads 6 at Zorn, 3 at Thorn.
Charles Magellean realizes that it was only a minor setback. That bag is truly dangerous.
Nick Caligo (GM): 4 hits on Zorn, 2 hits on Thorn. 208 on Zorn, 104 on Thorn.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...I could... really use a heal, guys..." *He falls to one knee, holding his ribs...*
Digifanatic: "I have some rings..."
Tridus: "Don't look at me. Just touching me is painful."
Charles Magellean merely shakes his head. He passes his turn again.
Digifanatic: "And I'll need all 250 of them."
Azure continues looking intently at Thorn and Zorn's movements noteing timing and execution of their attacks. Mimic. His pulls out a pair of shoes out of his gi and slips them on. Super sneakers! Azure moves to the front of the battle order for 3 turns and speed goes up by 10. He slips his hands into the sides of his gi at his waist and out pop his gauntlets on his wrists. They glow for a moment with the unique colors of the two. *Lock-on*
Aetos attempts to mimic one of their moves... hoping in his mind he gets that exploding stuffed kitten move.
Nick Caligo (GM): So both Aetos and Azure are mimicing?
Metal Man (GM): Yup.
Nick Caligo (GM): You suddenly feel this urge to reach behind your backs. Or, wait, even better. Azure moves over to Aetos and pulls a sack from behind his back. Aetos reaches in and pulls something out... It's... a cherry bomb of some kind... and it's lit.
Aetos: "Gah!" *He throws it at Thorn!*
Nick Caligo (GM): It takes only a few seconds for the fuse to burn out. It shoots a smokescreen up into the midst of the battle. The bridge's area is now clouded with a thick smoke.
Aetos: "Oh no!"
Nick Caligo (GM): All attacks have a 50% chance to miss. Plus, in a few seconds, you're not ENTIRELY certain where the edges are...
Tridus: "I can't see. Which is terrible, I was just about to prepare for an attack those clowns couldn't dodge."
Nick Caligo (GM): Any movement taken has a 10% chance to send you over the edge. Aetos: I believe you have more actions?
Aetos tries to use his PUSH attack on Thorn
Nick Caligo (GM): Which does? Describe it! You don't run off the edge en route to where you THINK Thorn is... And you also must roll an attack? I think? At any rate, you're able to find your way to him even in this pea-soup fog. You catapult Thorn up into the air, over the cloud... but don't see where he lands. You hear a loud "Kaplook!" noise from wherever it came from, though. 62 damage.
Digifanatic gives Azure 100 rings to give him his life back.
Nick Caligo (GM): ...
Azure: "Thanks Digi. I'll have to return the favor." *He would say his right palm placed forward in front of him.*
Digifanatic then defends twice, unable to use another item in his turn. "Alright."
MrMonster notices the smoke appear and quickly changes his battle plans... With a command word his enchanted bracer summons up a fiery shield above his Kinetic absorption power. The Trulander then tries to guess where Zorn would be, hopes no one is in his way, and fires a kinetic blast of energy from his greatsword (Gamma Sword Shot) before throwing a Blue Potion to Tridus and yelling, "Tridus! Catch!"
Tridus: "Ahhh! A potion! Just what I need! ...Or what looks like one. I can't see very well... I sure hope it isn't some trick by a monster."
Nick Caligo (GM): Tridus gets the potion just fine. Yep. You got him.
Tridus: *Grabs it* "Thanks. Now I can give that punk a chance of being electrocuted... again."
Nick Caligo (GM): 65 damage as Zorn flies backward... you aren't sure towards where, though. -_o
Tridus: "All right... take this... I think!" *He fires off a ball of lightning at Zorn, then tries out tossing some daggers at him too.*
Metal Man (GM): Well, that obviously misses.
Nick Caligo (GM): Yep. You shoot ball lightning in COMPLETELY the wrong direction...
Metal Man (GM): One possible hit. Which then does not hit because being evil is very unlucky.
Nick Caligo (GM): And your knives haphazardly make their way between each of your allies.
Tridus: "I hate this smoke. I'd smack whoever summoned it but I might fall to my death instead."
Metal Man (GM): *Turn over and wasted*
Nick Caligo (GM): You hear something ruffling.
Aetos wonders what that noise is...
Nick Caligo (GM): Charles finds a classic, Black Ball style bomb clattering on the floor at his feet, fuse burning... Speed check, Charles.
Tridus: "It sounds like somebody's bowling."
Charles Magellean wriggles his ears... he tries to take a few steps back.
Nick Caligo (GM): Failure. It explodes and deals precisely 100 damage to you. You hear... a chain...
Charles Magellean merely endures the pain.
Nick Caligo (GM): ... And what sounds suspiciously like something very very large on the end of it... hopping? And going "BARWW-ROR!" Garrick sees the fog parting before him... and a HUGE chain chomp taking up the space it was just in.
Garrick Fy`aar: "...YAH!" *He just BARELY gets bitten*
Tridus: "It sounds like Garrick has met something sharp and evil."
Nick Caligo (GM): *WHUMP!!!* It bashes against you and snaps on your leg before being withdrawn back from the fog. Make a STR check. Lucky Garrick struggles free of the Chain Chomp. As the fog finally parts before everyone's eyes... They see Zorn chuck what looks like a cube into the air with all his strength. Its sides flash rapidly .. Sorta' like a dice out of Mario Party...
Garrick Fy`aar: "...oh... crap..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn jumps up underneath it, stopping it on... What appears to be a mushroom cloud.
Tridus: "A cube... how familiar... ...thermonuclear weapon, also very familiar."
Nick Caligo (GM): *BOOOOOM!!!!* And that's precisely what everyone just got consumed by. Oh, Garrick, by the way? You took 61 damage from the chomp. Everybody, including Zorn and Thorn, takes 50 damage.
Garrick Fy`aar is DEAD...
MrMonster flinches as the blast reaches him, but comes through pretty much unharmed... However, his flaming shield isn't generating as much fire as before...
Tridus: *Is hit... but can he survive?*
Nick Caligo (GM): Aye, that works rather well against it, Mr. Monster.
Aetos looks to Azure for a signal, if Azure wants the bag or not.
Charles Magellean moves his mouth a bit, himself covered in ash.
Nick Caligo (GM): The smoke clears.
Tridus: *Barely dies...*
Digifanatic: *5% poison*
Azure: *holds up and X guard the force pushing him back a great deal. As over but survives. He looks over to Aetos and nods.*
Garrick Fy`aar glows as he's brought back, growling at the suckers. "Oh, you are so DEAD!"
Aetos tosses the strange pack at Azure.
Garrick Fy`aar reaches back, for his first action of the two, and yanks out the Einhammer. He snarls and produces a little cylinder, an Energizer, which he downs for his second action
Azure would take the pack but before that he would rush toward Thorn and Zorn his gauntlets would then glow as he attacked with a double set tapping into the power of quake smash. He would then look into the pack received by Aetos and open it out pops...? Whatever the course of action taken Azure summons up his spirit beads once more and casts its self help ability on himself this time (invincible for two turns.)
Nick Caligo (GM): Azure plucks a banana peel out of the bag.
Charles Magellean: "...?"
Aetos: "Uh..."
Nick Caligo (GM): The two punches both hit each of the jesters, who can be... very clearly seen holding a MASSIVE chain chomp by the chain...
Tridus: "I don't like the looks of that death on a chain."
Digifanatic: "Yeah..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Damage on the punches, please?
Azure: "A banana peel...."
Nick Caligo (GM): ... Ahhh.
Charles Magellean cannot bring himself to fight these bosses. He passes his turn again.
Nick Caligo (GM): One of your actions is gone from using the combination attack with Az.
Aetos rushes up to Thorn, hopefully avoiding the chomp on a chain... and tries to shish kebob him.
Nick Caligo (GM): You get a nice juicy ... air... on a stick.
Aetos: "Bah!"
Tridus: "Teach the air a lesson, Aetos! Like I did."
Aetos flips bacward to his spot and PUSHes Thorn again... but he uses his magic air to do it this time... ... ...
Nick Caligo (GM): 62 damage again as Thorn gets shot up into the air.
Digifanatic: *Concerned about the others, he gives Garrick 100 rings to start...*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Hey, thanks..."
Digifanatic: "You need them." *He then tries to launch something of a hit by trying to Fire Punch Zorn...*
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn just BARELY ducks your attack. GOD that was close.
Digifanatic: *Out of luck, so it has to miss*
Tridus: "That was close."
Digifanatic decides to defend again, doing so because he has no Douple Dip...
MrMonster attempts to fire another Mind Blast at Zorn, hoping to daze the jester (Beta Confuse)... The Trulander also just learned how to double the damaging output (Increased to Gamma!). He then drops Racualk to the floor to rush over to the jester holding the chain to the chain chomp to try and wrest the chain from his grasp. (Last action will be done after the results of these actions.) He also tries to snatch that chain again!
Tridus: *Reappears, looking ticked. He immediately hurls a high-powered ball of lightning at Zorn.* "Take this!!!"
Nick Caligo (GM): ... !!!? Holy CRAP, are you serious? It's SUPPOSED to be like that? @_@; Hit...
Metal Man (GM): Yes. Well, I stacked them... though it only deals 96 electric damage.
Nick Caligo (GM): ONLY he says...
Metal Man (GM): It also paralyzes, if that matters.
Metal Man follows it up with a plain-old accurate sword attack.
Metal Man (GM): *Miss*
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn falls back on the floor, blitzing with electricity and flailing his limbs. Unfortunately Tridus's next attack wasn't expecting him to be on the floor. He pops back up and shakes it off.
Zorn: "Now one of you shall die!"
Tridus: "Die one of you shall!"
Thorn: "Stepping on my lines, you are!" *He hops into a position next to Zorn... and what they do next... is like something out of Super Robot Wars...*
Charles Magellean breaks the silence that the jesters requested. "Seriously... Solarian... just don't."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...they aren't... they won't... ...seriously, if they do... I'm gonna... no..."
Tridus: "I've got to have fun some time. Even if it is at the risk of my life."
Nick Caligo (GM): They each reach into their coats and whip out three knives in each hand, sending all TWELVE of them at Garrick, set of three after set of three. *Shink* *Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip!*
Garrick Fy`aar: "Oh, well, wasn't what I thought it would be."
Nick Caligo (GM): The knives seem to HOME IN on Garrick, actually arcing towards him through the air... now, how many hits WITHOUT your SPD bonus to your AC? Actually this was one of Metal's. I did all the random stuff. 180 damage.
Garrick Fy`aar is now a human pin cussion. He trembles as he glares at the two of them
Nick Caligo (GM): *WhipwhipSTAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB-STAB!!!* Still alive, Garrick?
Garrick Fy`aar slowly reaches up and yanks a knife out of his arm "...oh, that tears it."
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn then takes the chain chomp flail and starts spinning like a tornado, letting the chomp arc above the group's heads. I mean it, Taz has NOTHING on the speed at which this lil' red guy can do. In a matter of moments, the chomp is nothing but a blur. It IS, however, very angry...
Chain Chomp: "RARR!!! BOW-WOW!!!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn casts up his lil' Jester's Rod at Garrick, who soon finds himself under the IMMENSE pressure of Demi while the Chomp goes SOARING into the side of the group; Garrick, Azure, Aetos, and Tridus are all threatened by Thorn's attack... Garrick: Your remaining HP is halved.
Azure: *The spirit charms of Azure float around him and then begin to violently swirl blocking the attack. Protecting Azure.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Azure sees stars fly off the invisible shield he's seem to got around himself; the Chomp passes straight into the rest of you, dealing 61 damage to each. Garrick: If you're still alive, make a Strength check. Garrick is swiped over the side of the bridge.
Aetos gets pounded by a chomp...
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian arrives just in time to watch him fly. And it's his turn.
Tridus: "Ow." *Watches Garrick fly down* "...That looks painful too."
Azure: *After that last attack something seem to trigger itself off inside of Azure. He burst into a prismatic glow which quickly formed and aura of prismatic energy around him. No longer interested in parlor tricks he throws the banana peel toward Zorn's feat. His left is engulfed in flaming energy (Charges Hell Dragon). The energy quickly builds and aims his arm forward. The fire launches off it and swirls around him the front of this streaming flame forms the head of a dragon. It soon explodes further growing in mass until it appears to take a form of its own. It roars as it rockets upward and then straight toward Thorn and Zorn. It smashes down an explosion errupts around the two with Azure shouting* "Hell Dragon!" *the head of this fiery dragon roars one last time before there is noting more of it.*
Garrick Fy`aar flies... flies... flies... and is fried. Whoo.
Azure: *402 Fire Damage to Zorn and Thorn*
Julian Sawyer: *A generic blue Warp Portal opens up on the bridge as Julian is spat out of, landing on front then raising himself up.* "Dunno how or why that happens... What'd I miss?" *He says as he dusts himself off*
Tridus: "Clowns who kill us. Painfully. With magic. For Kuja."
MrMonster: "Kill the psychopathic clowns who work for Kuja."
Nick Caligo (GM): Well, Zorn and Thorn are standing there, Garrick just got corpseded, and Tridus looks rather pissed as usual.
Julian Sawyer: "...Alright..."
Digifanatic: *5% poison*
Julian Sawyer: "Let's see how you like this!" *Julian reaches into his back pocket and draws Vendetta, igniting the orange saber. He then rushes towards Zorn and cuts him real good with 3 slashes*
Nick Caligo (GM): It's AMAZING how much punishment they're capable of taking. They shake off the charring from Azure's attack and keep diddly-dancy-dancing in place like silly little jesters, not really moving their arms at all.
Tridus: "Someone should heal Digi. His ability to distract the enemy is somewhat useful."
Nick Caligo (GM): CRIPES.
Digifanatic: "Distract? All I've done is give out rings!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Where'd he get +88!? Zorn takes all three hits--including a critical... And then stops dancing, tilting his head as he looks at Julian.
Zorn: "That is Gerald's weapon!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn tilts his head with him. "Gerald's weapon, that is!"
Julian Sawyer: *Then backs off and heads to the group.*
Charles Magellean: "Well... one of his many lightsabers, yeah."
Julian Sawyer: "So?"
Nick Caligo (GM): They both look to one another and nod silently.
Charles Magellean: "Ooohh! I see."
Digifanatic: "Well done."
Garrick Fy`aar slowly fades in via the white light...
Charles Magellean: "When you tilt your head, does your neck occasionally crack?"
Julian Sawyer: "Sup Garrick?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...dead clowns."
Julian Sawyer: "I agree."
Garrick Fy`aar slowly raises the Einhammer and unloads a trio of shots at the pair of them, the grenades flying through the air and hopefully blowing them both to kingdom come.
Tridus: "Yes, Charles. A lot. Especially since it's been broken so many times."
Nick Caligo (GM): All three grenades hit their marks at the Jesters' feet.
Charles Magellean peers by the corner of his eye... to look at Tridus.
Garrick Fy`aar will finish by Eye Spying
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn or Thorn? *sigh* Fine. Zorn: 3479 HP Thorn: 3948 HP
Garrick Fy`aar: "...we've barely scratched them. We haven't even gotten halfway..."
Zorn: "Master Kuja's power makes us invincible."
Julian Sawyer: "We'll get 'em soon enough."
Thorn: "Beat us you cannot!"
Charles Magellean: "Curious. Why does every antagonist say that?"
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn falls forward into a headstand: "You should give up and leave now!"
Digifanatic: "No idea, Charles..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn hops onto Zorn's feet. "At once, go away!"
Tridus: "You locked the door out, how are we supposed to leave?"
Julian Sawyer: "I don't think so. I don't even know how I got in, so I sure as hell don't know how to get out."
Thorn: "... Be quiet!"
Zorn: "Silence!"
Julian Sawyer: "You first!"
Tridus: "Noise! Charles, do something. Anything. Heal someone."
Julian Sawyer: "Use the rockets!"
Tridus: "You don't have to be aggressive, but I don't think you want clowns to beat you up."
Charles Magellean: "The logic is undeniable, Thorn and Zorn; why is leaving an option when the exits are blocked off?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Shut up and DO something, Charles!!!"
Zorn: "We will torture you!"
Thorn: "Torture you, we will!"
Charles Magellean cracks his knuckles.
Tridus: "Pretend they are magitek cactuars."
MrMonster: "... If they kill us then you won't be able to hunt for more artifacts."
Garrick Fy`aar: "They think Pepsi is better than Coke!"
Julian Sawyer: "USE THE ROCKETS!"
Charles Magellean: "I swore to not fight Kuja or his servants... but dishonoring a Lunarian by illogic-ness goes above that! FOR MY PEOPLE!" *He gets a starting charge, and begins to become blurry. He goes forward towards Thorn and uses hyperspeed, or as much speed as he can, to the X-Naut shoulder Ram.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn gets smashed backwards against a wall for 145 damage, then hops to his feet. The chain chomp follows him, smashing into the wall next to him and letting out a yelp. Zorn hops around to Charles's flank. "Let's show them we mean business!" Thorn nods. "Mean business, we do!" Both the Jesters gesture up at Charles. A black hole settles on him and begins to crush his body, cutting away 99.21875% of his HP. Round off the decimals after you calculate what that is. Charles, you just took six Demi in a row. Three from each.
Julian Sawyer: "Ouch..."
Tridus: "...On the other hand... ...you really shouldn't have decided to not be a Quester."
Aetos: "Charles! You should leave! you couldn't handle another attack! And we all know that you don't revive when you die!"
Zorn: "He is weak!"
Thorn: "Feeble his body is!"
Tridus: "Either that or pull out some super-weapon and heal yourself simultaneously. Although how you could do that doesn't seem clear to me."
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn does a little jig. "I'll dance on his grave!" Thorn spits off to the side. "I'll spit on his tombstone!"
Digifanatic: "Unless... anyone have 50 rings?"
Aetos: "I do."
Charles Magellean slows down. He jumps backwards, somersaulting 459 degrees to land on his left foot. He already kneels down, suffers the barrage of 6 Demis. In his weakened state, and gets back up to one knee; his arms morphing. They form Demolition Man's Destructive Rocket.
Tridus: "I don't carry many items. Besides this potion."
Digifanatic: "I've done it before."
MrMonster: "I've got you covered, Charles!"
Digifanatic: "Aetos, is that all you have?"
Charles Magellean: "Oh SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! Your talking is giving me a headache!"
Digifanatic: "Unless Mr. M has enough..."
Aetos: "I have 500 rings..."
Digifanatic: "Alright. We're safe."
Julian Sawyer: "I have 400. Just wait until he dies then revive him."
Charles Magellean fires one rocket. He fires another one. One hits Thorn, another Zorn.
Tridus: "I'm not sure if that works on people who are really dead."
Digifanatic: "Just making sure he can be revived."
Charles Magellean: *70% damage, negates DR.*
Digifanatic: "I've done it before, Tridus."
Charles Magellean consciousness is fading.
Nick Caligo (GM): Only one of them hits, dealing 70 damage to Zorn. The blue Jester narrows his eyes and continues dancing around, but faster. You get the feeling he's SERIOUSLY pissed.
Aetos reaches behind him behind his cape, and pulls out a bomb!, he chucks it at the ground before Thorn and Zorn.
Charles Magellean: "I... will... be... back."
Aetos's paralyze bomb fails He summons a melee item!
Metal Man (GM): FAILD
Charles Magellean collapses, having little consciousness before he faints.
Aetos: *Barrel pops into existence however He picks it up and throws it at Thorn!*
Nick Caligo (GM): Roll a ranged attack for that, Aetos.
Digifanatic: .oO(No Starman no Starman please...)
Nick Caligo (GM): Your barrel slips on the bananna peel and bursts.
Metal Man (GM): *splode*
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn is blasted back against the wall next to Thorn and slides down it slowly, motionless. He then gets back up, wabbles angrily, and starts dancing furiously.
Digifanatic decides he might as well try and go for it... he tries a Quake Smash SM Punch to the two jesters...
Nick Caligo (GM): They both jump at the quake. At first you think they might've been hit, but they land and keep dancing, unharmed.
Digifanatic is absolutely furied at his lack of success this fight... he tries to Fire Punch Zorn.
Nick Caligo (GM): *WHAM!!*
Digifanatic: *Wonder Crit*
Nick Caligo (GM): Apparently, Zorn wasn't expecting that to hit either.
Digifanatic tries to do the same to Thorn as well...
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn sees it coming, having just seen his partner do it, and ducks.
MrMonster downs a Maple Syrup before unsheathing his scimitar with cat-like reflexes (Quickdraw) and rushes towards Thorn, rolling the last few feet to the jester and coming up with a deadly uppercut (Stylish Hits. -5 to hit for +15% damage) and finally attempts to wrest the chain away from the jester again...
Nick Caligo (GM): Well, I'm afraid those were neither stylish nor were they hit. Thorn ducks one attack, jumps the other. Oh, woops. then.
Tridus: *He goes up and gives Zorn another lightning ball of happy fun+1.*
Metal Man (GM): 48 electric damage. Paralysis if that applies.
Tridus: *He decides to try to stab the jester in the face. That should slow him down. Or miss horribly.*
Metal Man (GM): *Miss horribly*
Tridus: *He then tries... again.*
Metal Man (GM): *Miss horribly Turn over*
Nick Caligo (GM): Thorn raises his hand at Tridus and summons Firaga from beneath his feet. Zorn casts Bio on him. He takes a grand total of 85 damage and is poisoned. Thorn leaps back to Zorn's side and throws another one of those crazy dice up into the air. Zorn bumps it with his head.. .. And both of them suddenly grow to become ENORMOUSLY huge.
Julian Sawyer: "...Crap."
Nick Caligo (GM): Oh they're about... four times everyone's size...
MrMonster: "... Piffle."
Nick Caligo (GM): Their dancing and jigging picks up a little in celebration, and then the entire room goes black...
Aetos really hopes this makes them easier to hit...
Nick Caligo (GM): The Questers suddenly find themselves in the middle of a spotlight. The two Jesters raise their enormous, capped heads over... what looks like a desk... One of them bangs a hammer...
Zorn: "Burned at the stake!"
Thorn: "Burned at the stake!"
Nick Caligo (GM): *FLASH!!!* The light returns, and how.
Julian Sawyer: "The hell is going on?"
Nick Caligo (GM): Everybody takes damage equal to ten percent of the damage they've already taken.
Julian Sawyer: *Takes... NO DAMAGE*
Nick Caligo (GM): Fire damage, that is. A pillar of flame erupts from Zorn and Thorn, dealing 25 damage to each of them. Ah...
MrMonster is burninated... Or rather, fully protected from the burnination due to his fire shield.
Azure takes 5.
Tridus: *Barely dies... on the plus side, he will be able to be vengeful yet again.*
Aetos takes no damage, and merely deflects the fire away.
Nick Caligo (GM): The blackness closes in around everyone again... You see them at the lecturn... thingy again. They bang ANOTHER hammer... "Death Penalty!"
Julian Sawyer: "What are they supposed to be, judges?"
Tridus: *One step ahead of you. XD*
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian finds his life force instantly snuffed out.
Julian Sawyer: *GACK, DEAD*
Nick Caligo (GM): When the darkness leaves this time, his dead body slumps to the ground... he drops his saber, and it bounces over to Zorn and Thorn. Zorn picks it up.
Zorn: "The status quo has changed!"
Thorn: "In our favor, this is!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn stuffs the saber into his coat.
Julian Sawyer's body sinks into a generic blue warp portal that had opened up under him.
Azure: *Energy could be seen floating from everyone around the battle field even thorn and Zorn would find it happening. It would find its way to Azure and suddenly burst energy around him. He let's out a loud battle cry as his prismatic aura is overcome for a brief moment by the light blue color of his soul energy. (Soul burst Needs at least 4 people in battle to use. 1.5x to any unarmed.) Azure teleports around the battle field disappearing and reappearing in prismatic light it begins to speed up and the images begin to make Azure seem like he has twins or twins of twins of twins that have twins. All the images teleport one final time and appear around Thron in Zorn surrounding them.* "I hope you like the ultimate technique of my temple. Koho X!" *the would all say in unison as Azure taps into the power of quake smash one final time. ing with the light blue aura representing his soul energy. He throws a mega elixer in the air restoreing the parties enegies by 60%. *(Turn End, Overdrive End)
Nick Caligo (GM): Well, what can I say except that you just pummeled the crap outta' them?
Azure: *70 damage each 423 total*
Metal Man (GM): A slight pause in the battle has emerged from both sides being tired.
Zorn: "The Questers are strong..."
Thorn: "Powerful they are!"
Zorn: "But stupid."
Thorn: "Foolish."
Julian Sawyer: *Isn't currently on the field of battle right now, having died last turn and hasn't revived yet*
Zorn: "Moronic."
Thorn: "Idiotic."
Azure sits calmly as the speak there constant jabbering. He would then look to Thorn and Zorn "And your purpose for saying this is?"
Tridus: *Cough* "There is no way you can win. We'll take you down... somehow! Yes..."
Metal Man (GM): Julian would find himself revived now. You would suddenly hear... ...faint sounds of a metallic clanking.
Julian Sawyer: *As such, a generic blue warp portal would appear on the bridge and turn red as Julian rises out of it, Vengeful*
Tridus: "...Oh great. They must have had some superweapon with them to bolster their chances of winning! At least. That's what it sounds like."
Metal Man (GM): *clank* *Clank* *Clank*
Azure looks to Tridus "Make you nervous?"
Zorn: "... Clank? We do not have a weapon that clanks..."
Thorn: "Clank none of our weapons do!"
Tridus: "...Then what could it be?"
Azure: "We could always hope... it's Metal... or Metal sonic."
Metal Man (GM): Tridus is suddenly answered. *SMASH*
Julian Sawyer: "...So this isn't going to turn out good for eithe side..."
Metal Man (GM): A fist bursts through the door. The previously locked door behind you all. A metallic fist.
Julian Sawyer: "...Yeah..."
???: "It's time to liven up this party! RAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!"
Azure: "Well well know soon enough won't we." *He rises to his feet slowly and turns around.*
Charles Magellean makes a jerkish motion to turn his head.
Azure: "That's not... Metal sonic. So... I'm gonna go with..."
Metal Man (GM): *BOOOM* The door explodes. And I mean... explodes.
Charles Magellean: "E... Li... Three."
Julian Sawyer: *Shields his face*
Metal Man walks in. Although noticeably different... something more like the old days in his demeanor. He also has a strange blue dice insignia on his right shoulder.
Azure: *In reflex holds up his right hand in front of his face in reflex slowly lowering it to look at the now smoldering debris.*
Charles Magellean: "Waaas my first guess."
Azure: "Well when your right your right."
Julian Sawyer: "...Hi Metal."
Metal Man: "Now then... who dares interfere with the Questers?"
Julian Sawyer: "Those two jokers." *Gestures*
Metal Man points at the jesters, the eyes behind his blue visor burning with rage. He apparently knows something... or at least seems to sense that something is wrong.
Azure: "How about we not... invoke more jokes... from the jokers..."
Zorn: "Metal Man!"
Thorn: "Metal Man!"
Azure: "Wow... they both said the exact same thing..." *His words laced in sarcasm*
Julian Sawyer: "...You know these guys, Mets?"
Nick Caligo (GM): The Jesters--huge though they are--seem surprised. Shocked, almost.
Azure: "They look on there face is pleasant enough though."
Metal Man: "They seem familiar enough. At this rate, I don't really care... I can tell they have to be some sort of lackey..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn looks like he's been sucking a lemon for an hour. Thorn's face is twitching violently .. Why... do my GMing eyes deceive me? Are they... scared?
Metal Man: "It is time... to put this to an end. Face my wrath, fools! Questers, regroup, ATTAAAAACK!!!!" *He charges into battle*
Charles Magellean: "Out on a limb... but... something's amiss."
Julian Sawyer: "...Right..."
Azure: "Something tells me his presence wasn't expected at all." *He ponders as he returns to his offensive position.*
Tridus: "Thank goodness... though I'll still lend a hand."
Julian Sawyer: *Something feels wrong... checks his back pocket* "...Hey, where'd Vendetta go?"
Azure: "Jesters nabbed it."
Nick Caligo (GM): The Jesters straighten up their faces.
Digifanatic: "Oh great..."
Metal Man: "Show me what you've got, you hat-wearing freaks!"
Julian Sawyer: "...You little -CENSORED-s! You're going down!"
Jesters: "No matter! We'll kill a few of you before we retreat..."
Julian Sawyer: *Red Vengeful aura flares up*
Thorn: "Destroy a handful, we shall."
Charles Magellean: "I... was... under pressure. I panicked; I didn't mean to attack."
Zorn: "Silence, idiot!"
Thorn: "Cowardly you are; for you refuse to fight enemies!"
Digifanatic: (muttering) "Anything that helps our cause, Charles..."
Zorn: "And we are enemies."
Thorn: "Enemies we are!"
Metal Man: "I'm rather inclined to agree with them at this moment, unless you prove that they can be defeated by nonviolent protest, Charles."
Charles Magellean: "Noo. Not this time. I have no reason to fight... that's all I can say."
Zorn: "Then let us give you one!"
Thorn: "Give you one we shall!"
Charles Magellean gathers the remaining strength to not speak, but just to stay conscious.
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn summons a huge hammer over his head and slams it on the ground. In an explosion of white smoke, you all find yourself suddenly... displaced. Even as the smoke clears you can't see or hear everyone else.
Julian Sawyer: "...The hell?"
Nick Caligo (GM): That's when you realize...
Azure: .oO(This won't be pleasant.)
MrMonster looks about, confused about the purpose of the attack and wondering what its conclusion shall bring.
Nick Caligo (GM): You're all caught in a HUGE hamster maze of some kind that spans the entire height and breadth of the room. All of you are COMPLETELY scattered.
Digifanatic: "What is going on?"
Julian Sawyer: "...This is just -CENSORED- ridiculous..."
Nick Caligo (GM): All you can see is that the Jesters are at the center of the maze, bright red and blue beacons marking their places.
MrMonster: "... Great..."
Nick Caligo (GM): A few moments later...
Metal Man: "Meh."
Julian Sawyer: "*Censored!*."
Azure: "Hopefully we can all keep our wits about us." *Hears Julian and sighs.* "But then there's others..."
Nick Caligo (GM): EVERYONE suddenly notices koopa shells kaplooking their way between the walls, heading in their direction.
Julian Sawyer: "Time for some dodging..."
Digifanatic: "...Oh boy..."
Nick Caligo (GM): SPD check everyone.
MrMonster: "Damn... This'll be painful." *The Trulander tries to jump, dodge, roll, and otherwise avoid the shells.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi: Hit. Tridus: Hit. Metal: Hit. Mr. Monster: Hit. Azure: Hit.
Charles Magellean gets up from the floor. He turns his neck several time, the blood moving through him again. Ignoring the pain, he does what it takes.
Nick Caligo (GM): Charles: Hit. 25 damage to everyone except Julian.
Julian Sawyer: *Dodges like he knows he can*
Metal Man is hit by the attack, but takes very little damage.
MrMonster breaths a sigh of relief as the shells are vaporized by his shield.
Julian Sawyer: "You can't hit nothin'!"
Azure: *It hits him on his right shoulder pushing him back a deal. A quick surge of pain rushes threw him. He quickly shakes it off keeping his thoughts collected and his mind on where he must get to.*
Metal Man: "That mildly tingled."
Charles Magellean is stampeded upon. The pain is overwhelming.
Tridus: "Ow, my cornea!"
Azure: "That wasn't pleasant." *Holds his right shoulder.*
Charles Magellean can withstand no more. He is KO'ed.
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian suddenly feels the wrath of a pair of Firagas blasting him from each side--completely undodgeable. 120 fire damage to Julian. Aye, aye.
Julian Sawyer: "GUAH!" *Survies, though badly burned*
Nick Caligo (GM): The Jesters' voices echo through the glass maze...
Zorn: "We can destroy them at a whim now!"
Thorn: "Like the rats they truly are!"
Metal Man: "Perhaps I should break a nice path through the walls and shove a glass wall into their mouths."
Julian Sawyer: "They are SO DEAD."
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian, Metal: Make an INT check. You each manage to make your way partway through the maze. You know you're on the right track from the start... Want to make any other actions?
Julian Sawyer: *Reaches into his back pocket, takes out a PEZ Dispenser with a Ring for the head, and pops out two yellow capsules, and quickly downing both, taking the effect of 220 rings*
Metal Man gets into a defensive stance. +6 to AC until his next turn.
Julian Sawyer: *Still has that red Vengeful aura*
Nick Caligo (GM): Charlie: You regenerate in a completely different part of the maze.
Metal Man: "If I can't get to them immediately, I'll just have to survive walking through instead."
Nick Caligo (GM): Oh. Well then. Azure, Ari: Make an INT check, both of you. Azure feels he's doing pretty well, finding shortcuts that seem to work out. Mr. Monster's completely lost.....
MrMonster is pretty much completely lost in this maze... The barrage of shells also shook him a bit.
Nick Caligo (GM): Mr. Monster: You happen upon an excessively large hamster blocking the way. It's very cute... It goes up to you and sniffs you with nostrils the size of your head.
Azure keeps his senses about him. His body in a defensive like posture as he walks. (+6 AC for me)
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi, Tridus: INT checks each of you.
Tridus: "Hmmm..."
MrMonster: "Ummm... Nice... Hamster..." *The Trulander backs up a bit before finally just turning around to head the other way, pretty much passing up his turn.*
Nick Caligo (GM): The both of you are pretty confident about your choices in going through the maze... Digi: You find yourself in a dead end; a room with a big ol' hamster weel. There seems to be a tube leading into one of the glass walls from the other side, but you aren't sure how it might connect to this room.
Digifanatic: "Huh..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Aye, thanks Tridus: You've found a big ol' room too. This one's got a water bottle and a shitload of really big, green pellets.
Digifanatic: "Hmm... Probably something used to be there... don't know what..." *He starts walking on the wheel to see if something will happen.*
Tridus: "Bah!" *He uses the rest of his turn shooting pellets with Simon's dagger to get in some practice and vent anger.*
Digifanatic: *Takes his 5% poison*
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi: As you walk on the wheel, a circular space in the wall lifts away from that tube... it'll take a lil' more running than that. But new round. Tridus: Roll an attack.
Digifanatic: "Well, this is interesting..."
Nick Caligo (GM): The pellet cracks. You see gold light pouring from the crack...
Tridus: "Woah! There's something interesting in there!"
Nick Caligo (GM): A bananna peel appears beneath Digi's feet as he runs. He slips and loses all his progress on the wheel. Julian. What's that attack of yours that's like going DBZ on someone?
Digifanatic: *BOOM* "Ow..." .oO(Well, at least the wheel has some significance...)
Nick Caligo (GM): Yeah, Speedbag, that's it. Ahhhh. Julian: You suddenly feel like you're missing something. A red Jester's cap appears on your heads. Attempting to remove it won't get you anywhere; it just... won't... come... off! Beatbox/Speedbag is disabled.
Julian Sawyer: "...What the -CENSORED-. Where'd my hat go?"
Nick Caligo (GM): Everyone make a Speed save!
Tridus: *Moves in slow-mo*
Nick Caligo (GM): Once again everyone but Julian gets plunked by a Koopa shell for 25 damage. Speaking of Julian, it's his turn. And Metal's. INT checks, both of you.
MrMonster is kaplunked... Luckily his heavily damaged shield takes the brunt of the blow.
Nick Caligo (GM): Metal: You're halfway through. Julian: You feel as though you're about a third of the way through. Any actions you'd like to take?
Metal Man: "Just a little more and I can beat jesters!"
Julian Sawyer: "Can't believe this... I'm stuck in this maze, I got hit with that fire attack, and now my fedora's gone!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Azure, Aribar: Your turn. INT checks, both of you.
Metal Man just does the same ol' same ol' with the defending.
Julian Sawyer: "Hate this place..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Mr. Monster: You still don't feel like you're getting very far... Azure: You move forward steadily but hit a dead end and have to go back... Digi and Tridus: Your turns.
MrMonster is still pretty much lost... He looks towards those red and blue beacons and just tries to SMASH his way through the walls.
Nick Caligo (GM): Make a STR check.
Digifanatic follows Monster's lead with one of the walls...
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi: Was that a STR check? Both you and Mr. Monster feel as though you'll probably get places faster by shattering the maze. You're doing fine; both of you give it a few little crick-cracks.
Digifanatic: *Takes 5% poison, needs mortality check. Also takes his 1% for being above limit*
Nick Caligo (GM): *shrug* Alright. You hear the distinct sound of dice being shaken in a cup and rolled...
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Metal Man: "I always liked rolling dice. A shame I don't have any to throw at those jesters."
Digifanatic: "Oh man, these 'silly' manipulators..."
Tridus: "Oh no! More pain!" *Hits the dirt*
Azure: "I always hated jesters...."
Nick Caligo (GM): Tridus instantly dies as he hits the ground.
Tridus: *Is conveniently out of lives. Yatta! I mean darn.*
Nick Caligo (GM): You all sense that one of your number just fell in a more permanent manner than usual...
Julian Sawyer: *...shudder*
Digifanatic: "Uh oh..."
Metal Man: "Meh."
Azure: "I didn't like that feeling...."
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi: You get struck by a Bio, taking 25 damage as bubbly poisonous doom strikes you from within.
MrMonster shakes his head and tells himself that he needs to stop worrying about probably false fears and get back to solving this maze...
Charles Magellean couldn't know anything, being KO'ed and on the floor.
Digifanatic: *Loses first life*
Nick Caligo (GM): Mr. Monster: You take 25 damage and poison as well. They bio'd you, too.
MrMonster Isn't poisoned. His shield shatters and his Beta PK Shield absorbs the rest of the spell.
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian: You take a Demi and a Firaga both at the same time; gravity crushes you, and fire burninates you.
Julian Sawyer: *GRUH!*
Nick Caligo (GM): Your HP is halved and then you take 60 fire damage. This is starting to become a REAL race against time... Julian and Metal: You both know the drill.
Metal Man attempts to hurry.
Julian Sawyer: *Gets up and moves on*
Nick Caligo (GM): Metal: ... You can see it! The exit's JUST a few bends of the tube away! And you can see the Jesters, too! They look like they're playing a board game.
Thorn: "... But park place you cannot have! Mine it is!"
Metal Man: "Marvin Gardens will always be mine! Hah, hahaha!"
Zorn: "Give it up; I have boardwalk and all the railroads!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Azure and Aribar: Roll, the botha' ya. STR checks, of course, if you're still trying to break the glass.
Metal Man prepares for battle. That is, he goes into defense mode and prepares to attack the jesters in the heart of their maze.
MrMonster is still lost... So he tries to break the glass in this section.
Julian Sawyer: "This is getting on my nerves... And I'm not getting anywhere in this -CENSORED- MAZE!" *Punches the wall out of frustration*
Nick Caligo (GM): *CRACK!* The glass breaks a lil'... Az: You're about a third of the way through the maze... And you suddenly find a dip. You're coming around towards Zorn and Thorn's flank, but that puts you over the lava pits. Or rather, IN them. Make a STR check to avoid taking heat damage. It's VERY hot down here. (Aribar) You don't make a dent in this glass wall... you get the feeling you'd be better off continuing if it's this strong. Digi: You respawn at your previous position. What was that, Mr. M?
Julian Sawyer: *Wasn't trying to break through anyway. Just releasing stress. Vengeful aura's still there, though*
Digifanatic revives, scoffs a bit at this insanity he's going through, and tries to make some forward ground.
Nick Caligo (GM): Digi: ... You're SO lost.
Digifanatic: "Oh man..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Failure. You take 5 heat damage.
Digifanatic: "I have no clue what I am supposed to do..."
Nick Caligo (GM): You hear dice rolling again. Metal can SEE the dice rolling .. Oh! You're on the wheel, duh, right. Success. The passage opens and clicks, locking in place and providing a shortcut.
Digifanatic heads through said passage...
Nick Caligo (GM): You're more than halfway through. One second. Juuust gettin' ready. Now then. Metal can see the Jesters lifting up a cup with two six-sided dice and shaking it. They dump them out.. .. And then put them back in and roll again. Julian: Your wallet feels empty...
Metal Man: "Let's see what they do now..."
Nick Caligo (GM): You've just lost 800 coins.
Julian Sawyer: *Doesn't care, he just wants to get to the Jesters and beat their brains in. The Vengeful aura's redder and brighter than ever.*
Nick Caligo (GM): One of them takes all the cards in the Community Chest and fans them out before shooting them through the tunnel at Metal...
Metal Man dodges them all. Well, more like punches them out of the air.
Nick Caligo (GM): The other one does the same.
Metal Man is hit by the other one, distracted by punching the cards from the first one.
Nick Caligo (GM): You take 25 damage and are confused.
Metal Man: "Ow... I'll get you! All you have to do is stop spinning around in circles!" *He takes very little damage, but is confused.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Aribar suddenly finds himself being struck from all sides by six knives... Compare that to your AC without any SPD bonus.
MrMonster gasps in pain as he is pierced by all six knives...
Nick Caligo (GM): 108 damage. Metal and Julian: Take 'yer turns, you know the drill. Julian: By a stroke of luck you wind up sliding down the proper chute and are deposited at the feet of Zorn and Thorn.
Julian Sawyer: "Whoa!" *Slide* "...FINALLY!" *Vengeful Aura flares up at its brightest and reddest*
Nick Caligo (GM): Metal: You barge through a hamster door of some kind and land at a very befuddled, frustrated looking Julian's side. Erm, right. Azure, Ari: On your marks, gentlemen. Make the STR check INSTEAD of the INT check, Ari.
Metal Man: "Hey Julian! ...Could you make me NOT confused? I don't want to destroy everything. Stupid jesters..."
Nick Caligo (GM): The Monopoly board disappears.
Julian Sawyer: "After one punch..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Aribar. You move about five feet.
MrMonster smashes that glass a bit more...
Nick Caligo (GM): You've got a noticeable hole going now. A few more pounds like that'll get you through in no time. You're at about where Julian was a moment ago. Digi, take your turn. Dahhh... I'll NEVER get used to it.
Digifanatic starts heading down that shortcut he made.
Nick Caligo (GM): You're a third of the way away from the jesters. The Jesters' turns. Nowhere. Yet. Both Jesters jump into fighting stances, palms held towards Metal, Jesters' Rods held up at the shoulder and pointed towards the ground.
Zorn: "We"
Thorn: "Will"
Zorn: "Destroy"
Thorn: "You"
Zorn: "First!"
Thorn: "First!"
Metal Man: "The wall is talking to me? How odd."
Julian Sawyer: "You can't hit nothin'!"
Metal Man's head is still spinning from confusion.
Julian Sawyer: "...Except with the magic stuff!"
Nick Caligo (GM): They both wave their rods at him, forming a huge gravity bubble around him that crackles with electricity. He's crushed by the power of Demi, 75% of his HP being hacked off. They then leap into the air and rocket at him in red and blue comets, one after another...
Metal Man (GM): Hit and hit.
Nick Caligo (GM): 64 damage.
Metal Man survives the carnage... and doesn't seem too badly hurt either.
Metal Man (GM): *Besides the obvious gravity damage.*
Nick Caligo (GM): They then flip backwards in mid-air after striking Metal with their Jester-capped heads, and rocket towards JULIAN this time, apparently disapproving of him.
Julian Sawyer: *Julian POW SMASH*
Nick Caligo (GM): *FOOM! FOOM!* 160 damage, Julian, as the Jesters pelt you; Zorn's hit catches you square in the chest and shatters your rib cage.
Julian Sawyer: *Dies without ever getting to use Vengeful! Gets blown off his feet into a generic blue warp portal that opens up on the wall*
Nick Caligo (GM): The Jesters land on their feet, taking up the same stance.
Metal Man: "Well well, you were quite impressive for a moment there. However, it appears things for you... are about to turn. Crystal Purification."
Metal Man (GM): *The attack, magically enchanted to work correctly every time, saps some of Metal's MP to heal away his confusion and some damage.*
Metal Man: "Now... TAKE THIS!" *He leaps up into the air and then slams the ground with his fist, causing a dome of darkness to envelop Zorn and Thorn.*
Metal Man (GM): 66 dark damage.
Metal Man then turns to the joker who hit him with the confusing cards... Thorn... and suddenly attacks him with a flaming uppercut.
Thorn: "Better than that, you'll have to do! ... AH!"
Zorn: "Power ours, darkness--oh dear..."
Metal Man (GM): 162 fire damage.
Metal Man: "And finally... eat lasers!" *He summons five beams of blue light which blast Zorn for 250 damage.*
Zorn: "He's as powerful as we suspected!"
Julian Sawyer: *A generic blue warp portal opens on the floor and quickly turns red as Julian rises out of it, Vengeful in full effect* "..."
Thorn: "Useful, this could be..." *The two Jesters shrink back down to normal size.*
Julian Sawyer: "Gimme... back... my... SABER!" *Julian's red aura shrinks suddenly and gathers into his right fist as he lunges towards the Jester that took Vendetta off him and gives him an PUNISHING Haymaker to the face*
Nick Caligo (GM): Hit! *WHUMP!* Zorn takes it straight to the face. Zorn wobbles back and forth like one of those inflatable punching clowns. Meanwhile, Azure, Aribar, and Digi have a maze to get through. Az: STR check against the heat.
MrMonster takes those daggers out of his scalemail and body as that very armor restores his health slightly... The Trulander also tries to bodyslam that glass wall again.
Digifanatic tries running one more time down...
Nick Caligo (GM): Just ONE more slam will shatter the glass... Az: Was that a STR check or an INT check? You suffer no damage during this treck, then. But lower into a hotter area... if things don't cool down soon, it could get nasty. Make the INT check now. You're two thirds of the way through. Digi: Make your INT check.
Digifanatic: .oO(I'm going nowhere... this is insane.)
Nick Caligo (GM): You're not MUCH farther this time, but you get the feeling it'd be better for you to keep running than to keep trying to crack the glass at this stage. You're SO close... New round. Zorn clears his throat, straightens himself up, and casts Demi on Julian, who soon finds himself under gravity's grip... from BOTH Jesters. 75% of his HP is cut off. They both then leap to one another's sides in between Metal and Julian, standing back to back. They raise their little Jesters' rods up in the air, putting the heads togehter and forming a white glow which flashes brightly.
Julian Sawyer: "What the..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Four comets bombard Julian and Metal--two on each--from the sky. Or... ceiling...
Julian Sawyer: "...-CENSORED-"
Nick Caligo (GM): 240 nonelemental damage to both of you.
Julian Sawyer: *KILL'D*
Metal Man takes a bunch of damage but doesn't die.
Julian Sawyer: *Gets knocked into the Generic Blue warp portal which immediately turns red as he rises out of it, Vengeful as all hell.* "You'd best stop doing that. Only gets you into more trouble!" *Julian heads towards Zorn again, and gives him another Vengeful Haymaker*
Nick Caligo (GM): *WHAP!!* He wobbles back and forth like a punching bag again. But one moment.
Zorn: "You are clearly a powerful Quester!"
Thorn: "A powerful Quester you clearly are!"
Metal Man: "You shall be the most powerful corpses in the galaxy."
Julian Sawyer: .oO(...Yeah, just ignore the guy who just beat your face in twice in row.)
Metal Man crosses his heavily battered arms. Looks like he survived a volcano erupting.
Zorn: "Join master Kuja's side. Make the most of your power in bullying others!"
Julian Sawyer: "...Can't believe dis..."
Metal Man grins. Then begins to chuckle... then laughs out loud. Maniacally.
Thorn: "Bullying others you are best at."
Zorn: "You do it for a living!"
Metal Man: "I'm sorry, but I believe I will have to refuse your offer and raise you one you can't refuse." *He gets ready to attack again. "The Questers were intentionally used by Kuja before, I'm not going to let it happen again with our knowledge." *He starts off by healing himself again... all that beating hurts. "Thanks for mentioning you work for Kuja. I just happen to have a vendetta against him." *He walks up to Zorn and decides to pick him up like a sack of garbage. "Here, you like to launch yourselves at people. Try one another!" *He HURLS Zorn at Thorn.
Nick Caligo (GM): *POW!!* There's a huge burst of energy as Zorn contacts Thorn in mid-air.
Metal Man (GM): Zorn would take his own AC * 3 in damage; Thorn would taste AC * 6 (The weight of Zorn and then himself being knocked down)
Metal Man then pulls out a freaky looking radio with dangerous looking TNT strapped to it, lights it, and hurls it at the two of them.
Nick Caligo (GM): The two land in a shambles and get a sploded as they attempt to get up.
Metal Man (GM): 76 fire damage; threatens both of them.
Metal Man then goes... into Overdrive. "Ahahahahahahaha! Eat this, you scum!" *He runs up to Zorn... and then starts attacking him with disco-dancing!*
Nick Caligo (GM): *Do the hustle!*
Metal Man (GM): A disco ball lowers. Disco music plays.
Julian Sawyer: "..."
Metal Man (GM): Zorn is hit by 9 disco ball lasers, 14 disco spins and kicks, and 7 record players.
Digifanatic: .oO(Uh oh... here he goes again...)
Nick Caligo (GM): *FWITFWITFWIT-BEEW-BEEW-BEEW!!*
Julian Sawyer: "This is -CENSORED- ridiculous..."
Metal Man (GM): 1227 damage. And he's confused.
Metal Man finishes his insane attack by going back next to Julian.
Julian Sawyer: "...You're insane, y'know that?"
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn's left charred, bruised, and burnt. You can see some of his bald head through his ripped Jester's hat. He gets up though... Az, Ari, Digi: Go time.
MrMonster is slightly more revitalized by his armor as he slams into the wall again... A quick thought crosses his mind and the Trulander hopes that he won't have to search for his greatsword he dropped after their battle with Zorn and Thorn is finished.
Metal Man: "Of course I am! The only person more insane is the one which offers for me to help Kuja!"
Nick Caligo (GM): *CRACK--SHATTER!!!!* The entire maze shatters.
Digifanatic: "Whoa!"
MrMonster stumbles a couple feet before finally getting balanced... The Trulander looks about, a bit impressed, and glances towards the jesters now that a path has opened up.
Julian Sawyer: "...Well it's about damn time!"
Nick Caligo (GM): A ripple of cracks and cricks forms throughout the maze before it shatters completely, depositing you and Digi safely on the floor.
Digifanatic: "Whoa..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Azure: You need to make an air-jump to avoid being lava'd to death.
Julian Sawyer: "Took you long enough!"
Nick Caligo (GM): You catch onto a ledge and haul yourself up gracefully, rejoining the battle. The shattering glass disappears in mid-air.
Julian Sawyer: "You too! Where have you guys been?!"
Azure: "Walking through lava. Why?"
Digifanatic walks through the former maze into the fray.
Metal Man: "You missed the disco madness! I think... Depends on how far you can see through here, I think."
Digifanatic: "I just want these guys rid of."
Metal Man is all glowy.
Azure: "I've never heard of this disco? Is this a sickness or something?"
Digifanatic: "I could stand the disco..."
Metal Man: "No, it is an unpopular type of music from the ancient past on my world."
Zorn: "Staying here means death..."
Thorn: "Failure, it means."
Metal Man: "Death by disco!" *He coughs a bit, looking at the horrible mess the battle has caused. Broken stuff everywhere.*
Zorn: "You will all die."
Thorn: "Die all of you will!"
Nick Caligo (GM): They stand back to back, forming white energy at the end of their Jesters' Staves again, calling comets down... That's six comets' worth... Ooooo boy, this is gonna hurt...
Julian Sawyer: "-CENSORED-!"
Metal Man: "Hoo... it looks deadly today. I wonder what the forecast is for tomorrow."
Nick Caligo (GM): Metal, Julian, and Aribar each take two Comets. Az and Digi take one apiece. *... WHUMWHUMWHUMWHUMWHUM!!!* A torrent of comets rains from the skies, bombarding you with white-hot, yet oh-so icy energy.
Azure: "This is gonna..." *Holds up an X guard as it comes slamming down.*
Metal Man is blasted again, though his healing from earlier saving him from death.
Nick Caligo (GM): 240 damage to Metal, Julian, and Mr. Monster. 120 to Azure and Digi.
Julian Sawyer: *Dead again! Julian is knocked into a generic blue warp portal that quickly turns red as he rises out, Vengeful and on his last life*
Metal Man: "Ow... tastes like doublemint gum."
Nick Caligo (GM): As the Comet dust clears, the Jesters have already disappeared...
Azure as the comets dust disappears Azure falls to the ground.
Julian Sawyer: "...Where the -CENSORED- are they?!"
Digifanatic: "Oh great..."
MrMonster is flattened by the comet.
Nick Caligo (GM): Zorn's voice echoes though the room. "You were lucky this time because Metal came to help you..."
Thorn: "Died you would have, were not the ironclad here!"
Tridus: *Makes an attractive corpse*
Metal Man: "Oh. So that's Mr. Doom and gloom went."
Julian Sawyer: "...dammit! Cowards! I never got my saber back!"
Metal Man: "You can always buy another one."
Nick Caligo (GM): Julian: You see it laying on the floor where Zorn was standing... he must've dropped it.
Metal Man: "Now then... everyone who is dead, raise their ha--... right. Dead people don't speak."
Julian Sawyer: "I ganked that off Gerald!"
Nick Caligo (GM): But... oh crapmonkies.
Julian Sawyer: "...Or not..."
Nick Caligo (GM): Vendetta's been cut neatly into two pieces by one of Metal's disco ball lasers, it seems.
Julian Sawyer: *Picks it up...*
Digifanatic: "Metal..." *He glares a bit at him.*
Julian Sawyer: "...Metal..."
Metal Man: "...Don't you know I hate it when you only say my name?"
Julian Sawyer: "How many coins do you have?"
Metal Man: "...Well, that's a funny thing."
Nick Caligo (GM): You could use it to make a new saber at a reduced price, but... looks like it won't be as good as it used to be.
Metal Man: "I don't have any source of wealth with me right here."
Julian Sawyer: "'Cause you're paying for this. You're paying when we get back to the village, then."
Metal Man: "And the Stadium's cash... ...sorta is stuck wherever the Stadium went. I used all my money to fix my armor."
Julian Sawyer: "...When we get back to the STADIUM, then."
MrMonster groans, life breathing back into his body... All of the glass disappeared, correct? Or is it still littered about the area?
Zorn's voice: "We will come for you later..."
Metal Man: "Otherwise I would have used healing items on myself."
Thorn's voice: "Come for you later we will!"
Nick Caligo (GM): Garrick: You arrive on t3h sc3n3.
Julian Sawyer: "You're paying one way or the other."
Metal Man: "Come later, you will. Shut up, you will not."
Nick Caligo (GM): The glass disappeared.
Metal Man: "Anyway, time to fix all the dead people." *He takes out his wand.*
Charles Magellean is left bombed, crushed, bloodied, crumpled, glass-impaled and otherwise left on the threshold between unconsciousness and being dead.
Metal Man: "Oogly boogly boo! Make this bum good as new!"
Azure returns kneeling on a blue platform that lands on the ground before everyone. He opens his closed eyes and stands. "Now that wasn't pleasant... at all..."
Metal Man smacks Charles on the head with the wand.
Metal Man (GM): *Magical energy* *Fully healed -80 MP OUCH*
Garrick Fy`aar walks out of the damn maze, snarling.
Metal Man: "Stupid wand. So energy inefficient."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...don't tell me they ran off..."
Julian Sawyer: "Took you long enough. Also, you know anything about fixing lightsabers?"
Metal Man: "Well, they did after I handed them a disco-related beating."
MrMonster gets up off of the floor, still in pain... The Trulander looks about, hoping to find his greatsword. Once locating the sword he goes over to put it back in its sheath.
Garrick Fy`aar: "You know what? Bite me, Julian."
Metal Man: "You both look so tasty. But I'm not a cannibal."
Charles Magellean gets up with no blood, body uncrushed, not stampeded, bloodied, or otherwise showing fatigue.
Julian Sawyer: "Hey, you're the one that couldn't find your way out of a non-existent maze."
Digifanatic: "Please stop, guys."
Metal Man laughs a bit and then goes over to Tridus. "Shazam! Kazam! Waste all of my magical power, bam!"
Garrick Fy`aar gives Julian a death glare
Metal Man (GM): *All MP depleted*
Julian Sawyer: *Returning Death Glare*
Digifanatic: "I dunno about you, but now is not the time..."