Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 248: Paths of Insanity
Date: December 21st, 22nd, 26th 2005, January 1st, 2006.
Metal Man (GM): *blows dust off of everything.* Maxamillian had created some sort of insane magitek contraption which had made the weapons of the Questers useless against Kuja's military. He then almost destroyed the Questers with a deathray, which he had fashioned using the same technology.
Metal Man (GM): However, he was stopped by Ivan Robotnik's unexpected hack attack. Ivan later left information for the Questers to find him by. And they did--in the seemingly abandoned ruins of Eisnaught. There, they discovered he had plans to make weapons which would pierce the barrier.
Metal Man (GM): But first, he had to get to Quester HQ. Unfortunately, Kuja's armies almost immediately homed in on the activity and came in to destroy Eisnaught. What they weren't prepared for was the extremely high-tech arsenal he had equipped his thousand or so troops with.
Metal Man (GM): While Denon's nearly endless army outnumbered Ivan's, it was cut through like butter. Meier Link tried to rectify the situation by leaping in and attacking the Questers himself, but was quickly repelled by a curative move.
Metal Man (GM): The Questers made it back to HQ, and Ivan's soldiers helped secure the hill that it was perched on. Azure, Aetos, Aribar, and Garrick would be in the big room with Ivan Robotnik.
Ivan Robotnik: "You have come far in your Quest to save Nintendus, but we must do more. Those barriers can and will make your attempts to stop Kuja difficult. Before I can begin making these new weapons, though, your old ones must be stored beneath this headquarters, in a safe place where Kuja's forces can never reach them."
Azure: "How so? Might one ask?"
Ivan Robotnik: "Underneath this very building is a safe which has never been used. It was apparently made by Wolfman's orders many, many years ago. Only he can open it once it is sealed. If Kuja gets a hold of your old weapons, he may become too powerful to stop. As your old weapons were very powerful... Once we store them down there, I can get to work. All I need is you to come down with me, of course."
Aetos nods with a quiet sigh.
Aribar nods. "You said earlier that you couldn't upgrade any of our weapons besides Julian's light sword, right?"
Ivan Robotnik: "That is true. There is no other way, I'm afraid. Kuja found the secret of your weapon's power and Maxamillian countered it."
Azure: "If it's for the best then I have no choice."
Ivan Robotnik: "If you are ready, I think we should get going."
Aribar nods, looking at his wand and sword.*
Garrick silently stood, moving to follow Ivan.
Aetos stands and waits for Ivan to lead.
Ivan Robotnik: *Gets up, begins walking towards a suspicious closet.* "Such a dark era..."
Metal Man (GM): Ivan opens the closet. It appears to be dingy, old, and unused.
Garrick: "...Ivan."
Azure: "Indeed. Azure said with a heavy sigh." His hand moving to the side of his gi where his gauntlets lay. For the longest they where his keepsakes. Gifts of succession parting would be hard but he had no choice."it's in there?"
Metal Man (GM): An old pair of shoes and a bunch of unused coats are hanged up on the rack.
Ivan Robotnik: "Now then... here it is." *He presses an unseen button in the closet.*
Metal Man (GM): The room shakes a little as there is the back of the closet sink into the ground. Ivan takes the clothes rack out of the way, revealing a dimly lit corridor made of stone; steps in it which seem to go down forever.
Aetos watches carefully "This place is... full of surprises."
Garrick: "The surprises the stadium has knows no bounds."
Aribar: "Just what didn't they design in this place?" *The elf watches Ivan begin his descent before the elf follows.*
Ivan Robotnik: "Not even Metal knew about this. I had to hack into heavily encrypted data from before Kuja's era to discover this. With luck, this won't be the last time you'll be seeing it. Now come along... we don't want Kuja's spies to know." *He begins walking down the stairs.*
Garrick follows Ivan down into the cavern. "...what else do you know about the Stadium?"
Metal Man (GM): Various dim electronic lights keep the place from being totally dark.
Aribar frowns at the thought of spies being able to penetrate the Stadium walls.*
Aetos walks down the staircase.
Metal Man (GM): The ceiling slopes downwards with the steps, and there are no guard rails.
Oceanblaze: Azure enters the staircase last.
Ivan Robotnik: "This is about it, at least, that you don't already know. Remember, you've had a lot more time invested here than me."
Garrick: "Somehow, I don't believe that."
Ivan Robotnik: "If there was anything of use other than this, I think I would tell you."
Garrick: "Well, Ivan, I've come to learn that I will never, in my wildest dreams, know everything there is to know about Nintendus."
Metal Man (GM): You continue down the stairs, your footsteps echoing through the narrow stairway.
Garrick: "...which reminds me.......Ivan, what do you know about... the computer that controlled Nintendus.
Ivan Robotnik: "Oh? SIMBER? Nova? Avon? Who? There were many... although those are somewhat prominent."
Garrick: "Nova."
Ivan Robotnik: "It was an ancient Earth project which had been abandoned and launched into space. By some fate it crashed on Nintendus in its early days and began causing the phenomena you see today. Such as those strange floating boxes."
Garrick: "Yes, yes. I know that. Tell me, what has happened to him after we left?"
Ivan Robotnik: "Not much is known what happened to it when Kuja took over... he just took control of the system for himself, routing the power through his own body instead of the proper machinery."
Azure: "Ok..."
Garrick growls lowly.
Ivan Robotnik: "By the time you got to it he already had control.....But we shall erase that... eventually."
Metal Man (GM): You finally reach the bottom. It's a rather dank and small room, deep underneath the ground. You hear water dripping. Two torches magically come to life as you enter.....But in front of you is no safe. It's a door... with a plaque atop it that you can't quite read... it's dirty. The door looks ancient, and the room itself appears to date to when the Stadium was first built for the original Smash tournament.
Aribar squints in an effort to read the plaque.* "What does that say?"
Ivan Robotnik: "I can't see it either. Of course, my vision isn't that good..."
Garrick, who I believe is taller than Aribar, wipes away the dust and grime..
Metal Man (GM): Garrick rubs off the dirt and it looks readable again,. You see the writing now... it's a lot.
Garrick: "...it says..."
Metal Man (GM): 'THE TEMPLE OF DOOM. Does not lay here.'
Ivan Robotnik: "What?"
Aetos blinks.
Garrick: "...are you sure Metal didn't make this safe?"
Ivan Robotnik: "That's impossible... I read Charles's research..."
Aribar: "Umm... Temple of Doom?"
Ivan Robotnik: "If it wasn't a safe, it had to be the Temple of Doom."
Aetos: "Temple of Doom?...What is the point of that!?"
Garrick keeps reading.
Metal Man (GM): You see some more text. 'Ye who seek the fabled safe of Wolfman... are delusional.'
Garrick reads this aloud, as well.
Ivan Robotnik: "I can't believe it. This whole thing reads like some ancient prank!"
Garrick: "...what did you just say?" *looks at Ivan, seriousness all OVER his face.*
Azure: "So exactly... what happens now.."
Ivan Robotnik: "Unless there is something behind that door, this means whoever originally hinted at these rumors was... lying..."
Aetos looks for a knob or handle on the door.
Metal Man (GM): The door has a rusty handle.
Aetos: "I had enough."
Garrick: "Aetos, wait."
Aetos twists the handle and pushes.
Metal Man (GM): *BZZZAAAAPPP.*
Garrick: "I might have an idea just who is--"
Metal Man (GM): Aetos takes damage.
Aribar winces.* "Ooh... You okay?"
Aetos flies back from the zappy pain handle.
Ivan Robotnik: "...How that could stay electrically charged for almost 15 years is beyond me. There must be something in there."
Aetos: "Oouuahghh..."
Garrick: "Of course there is something in there."
Ivan Robotnik: "It looks like we'll have to bust through that door. Any volunteers?"
Garrick: "No..."
Aetos slowly stands up and brushes himself off.
Garrick: "No, busting is not what we want here."
Azure: "I'll... go... I guess..."
Aribar looks to see whether the door is made of wood, metal, or possibly something else.
Metal Man (GM): The door is made of wood. Old wood, as it looks very... dry.
Aetos: "BURRNN ITTT!!!" *blinks and snickers at himself.*
Aribar: "It looks like with a good shove it should be knocked off its hinges."
Aetos: "Erm, yeah..."
Garrick: "Well, if it's a shove you need..." *makes to bust the door with a strong Driving Punch.*
Metal Man (GM): *CRACK!* The door is damaged. Some light shows on through. But it isn't broken.
Garrick: "Heh. Okay, one more..." *backs up a bit, then runs at it and smashes at it with a Running Kick.*
Metal Man (GM): Garrick barely manages to hit it.
Azure: "Mind if I take a strike at it?"
Metal Man (GM): Because it's a stationary door.
Aetos: "...You looked liike you were about to collapse there, Garrick..."
Metal Man (GM): The door falls off its hinges. Light floods the room. The door falls forward... and hits someone on the head.
???: "Ow! Can't I just work in my office in peace?"
Garrick: "Give me a break, here. I haven't used my hand to hand skills in a while."
Azure: "Or not it would seem."
Metal Man (GM): ...There's a desk behind the door. And in fact, a rather large, eccentric looking room...
Garrick draws his M150 and Einhammer at the sound of the voice.
Aribar: "Someone's been living down here?!"
Metal Man (GM): ...And someone, whose face is hidden by the door.
Aetos: "Office? Who are you and why do you leave such foolish messages on your door?"
Garrick pushes the door out of the way with his foot and aims..
???: "Living down here? It's where I've always been. Did you drink acquarium water or something?"
Metal Man (GM): You push the door away... and see...
E Li Three: "That gun won't do much damage to ME, bub."
Garrick: "...I KNEW it!"
Metal Man (GM): ...A weirdo in purple robes with green hair. And eyes which change color at random.
Aribar: "You're in a vault underground..."
Garrick: "I swear, I knew it was you the moment Ivan said it was some prank."
Metal Man (GM): He stands up, his yellow felt top hat and green cape clashing.
Ivan Robotnik: "This is impossible! The Temple of Doom! Wolfman's safe!.--"
Aetos: "Hey... neat cape..."
E Li Three: "Every last one, made up by me. This is my only actual home, you know. The rest of those places were vacation houses which I destroyed upon leaving. That Kuja jerk forced me down in here, though. He's afraid of your land. What do you guys want?"
Metal Man (GM): He spins around in his chair, and leans back.
Garrick: "...well... we were looking for a place to store our weaponry."
E Li Three: "For what purpose? You must remember, or something. I stored all sorts of things here, sure... but your weapons?"
Aribar mutters a question under high breath but decides to let it go.* his.*
Garrick: "To keep it safe from Kuja. He would definitely want these after all we've done with them."
E Li Three: *Backflips onto his table, then flickers once or twice.* "Oh really? And why not use them against Kuuuuujaaaaaa?"
Garrick: "He's created a resistance against them... Ivan has found a new way to fight, but these are too powerful to hold on to while using that new style."
Aetos claps at the show... then looks around the room while they talk.
E Li Three: "You make an interesting conundrum..."
Metal Man (GM): The desk suddenly goes flying into the back of the room. E Li Three warps onto the ground, and takes out a cane from nowhere.
E Li Three: "I can make your problem go away. That barrier is a joke!"
Garrick: "...and how so?"
Azure: "Really?"
Ivan Robotnik: "Impossible. Even my advanced weaponry cannot piece it without the proper modifications..."
E Li Three: "You must go through my path of insanity to find out!"
Aetos: "Path of insanity? Can't be worse then the X-zone or you-know-who's you-know-where."
Garrick: "...ohhhhh no."
E Li Three: "And, you give me a great idea. To sweeten the deal, give me all of your weapons. Only if one of you survives can you get what you want!"
Garrick: "OHHHHHH NO." *jabs his gun barrel at E Li Three.*
Ivan Robotnik: "I'm afraid it might be the best choice... he does know a great many of things."
Garrick: "I've been through that crap twice now. There is no WAY I'm doing it again."
Aetos: "Garrick, put the gun down."
E Li Three: "What are you going to do? Shoot the force field which protects everyone from those weapons?"
Garrick: "...is it going to be as bad as the last two ones?"
Metal Man (GM): E Li Three leaps to the right, then warps to Garrick's left, then floats through him. It feels vaguely chilly to Garrick.
Garrick shivers..
E Li Three: "Bad? Those were jokes! This is the only real challenge to be had!"
Garrick: "...bananas...*growl.*..."
E Li Three: "Bananas are obsolete. Vacuum cleaners are inefficient! Not even Waluigi is good enough for THESE!"
Garrick: "...alright, fine."
E Li Three: "So then. All your weapons to me and a chance to beat Kuja's face in, or you just let me lamely store your weapon... very welll then!"
Azure: ".oO(I remember this one now... and I recall I didn't understand him any better than I do now..)"
Metal Man (GM): E Li Three moonwalks backwards into a wall.
Garrick: "...I swear, one of these days, I'm going to punch him right in the jaw."
E Li Three: "Please enter my home. It would do no good for you to be trapped outside."
Aribar: "Wait... What happens if we fail your challenge?"
Garrick: "And make him feel it."
Ivan Robotnik: "I might as well watch."
Aetos shrugs at Aribar and runs into the wall after E Li Three.
Ivan Robotnik: *Walks inside the door.*
Metal Man (GM): Aetos runs into the wall. Oww.
E Li Three: "What, do you think you're me or something? That's hilarious! Hahahahahahaha!"
Aetos: "Oof..."
Aribar heads into the room.
Garrick walks in as well..
Aetos growls and follows the others.
Metal Man (GM): After you all walk in, a big stone slab slams down.
E Li Three: "Now then. This is your last chance to run away like Denon's troops!"
Garrick: "Please."
E Li Three: "You can watch, if you do so. But for those of you who want to keep their original weaponry... just lay it down... ohhh... I don't know... there."
Metal Man (GM): A blue circle appears in the middle of the room.
Aribar frowns... I've a question for you, E Li Three."
E Li Three: "Each one of you will go on separate journeys through a place I built over the fourteen years I lived here! And... yes?"
Aetos holds Talon and stares at it's point for a moment... then lays it on the circle.
Metal Man (GM): Aetos falls through the floor the minute he does that.
Azure: "Ok..."
Aetos: "Ahhhhhhh... -fades-"
E Li Three: "Aaaaand it appears this person named Aetos has become our first contestant on The Path of Insanity!"
Azure's spirit charms float around around him. He takes of his spirit charms and sit's them on the spirit charms as if by some mystic platform. The float over to the circle and place themselves there. "Here we go. It would seem."
Aribar takes out his Transformer.* "A friend of mine has some weapons he would like enchanted to break through Kuja's powers. May I run the gauntlet for his weapons as well as mine?"
Metal Man (GM): Two screens come down from the ceiling. Just then, Azure falls through the floor.
E Li Three: "Yes, yes. Just lay the fancy Italian object you have there onto the ground and I'll take care of the rest."
Garrick sighs.
Aribar puts the Transformer on the blue circle before laying his elven shortsword and the Wand of Wonder down as well.*
Metal Man (GM): Aribar falls through the ground.
Garrick: "You'd think that we'd be used to this by now."
E Li Three: "I always have something freakier up my sleeves, Mr. McCloud."
Garrick places the Einhammer, the M150, his ammo clips, and holsters into the blue circle. "Why does that not surpr--*gone.*"
Metal Man (GM): Garrick falls through the floor. THE PATH OF INSANITY. Contestant #1: Aetos. Aetos falls on through the floor, and into... some sort of huge maze of stone. Dead ahead, he sees none other than... a coffee shop.
Aetos: *Thuds on the floor, then quickly gets up.* "What... wait... insanity... right." *glances around him first.*
Metal Man (GM): A coffee shop named Daysida Vixa. You see 30 foot tall walls blocking the way back, left, and right. The only way ahead is into the "Daysida Vixa".
Aetos shrugs and walks over to the coffee house.
Metal Man (GM): You open the door, which... moos when you open it.
Aetos: "Gotta remember... Grande is small... I think."
Metal Man (GM): You enter the shop, and realize everyone is on the ceiling. In fact, you are walking on the REAL ceiling.
Aetos looks up at whatever 'everyone' is. "Hi."
Metal Man (GM): You see two or three businessmen drinking coffee.
Businessman1: "Avast! Arrrr! It be the upside-downer man of doom!"
Aetos: "Yarr!"
Businessman2: "...Why are you on the ceiling? That is... unusual... even for a Saturday."
Businessman3: "Olleh. gniod uoy era woH?"
Metal Man (GM): A sign falls off of the 'ceiling' and onto your feet. It says...
Aetos: "Enif, uoY?"
Sign: 'Find the real Businessman! Pick right and continue! Pick wrong... and something bad happens!'
Businessman1: "Yarr. Landlubbers be sailing on the ceiling!"
Aetos scratches his head. "Is this a trick question?"
Businessman3: ".oot enif ma I."
Metal Man (GM): The sign flies up and hits you in the head. A big 'No' is written on it.
Aetos: "That is a pirate... that is a lizard creature from Turion who talks backward..." *points to Business Man 2, "That, is the real business man... I hope."
Businessman2: "I wish the store owner was here. Then he could explain why people are on the ceiling."
Businessman1: "Harharharrr! You be wrong, laddy!"
Aetos: "...Uh huh..."
Businessman1: "Now to kill you and eat your flesh!"
Metal Man (GM): He leaps off of the ceiling and pulls out an old-timey gun.
Aetos: "Pirates don't eat flesh..."
Metal Man (GM): *BATTLE.* Aetos vs. Cannibal Pirate.
Businessman1: "Arrrr! Taste this, land lubber!"
Aetos: "Please don't poke me with your for-- how did you get down here by will? Grr..."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out a box and opens it up. Then a big beam of energy flies at you. You avoid the majority of it, only taking some damage.
Aetos: "That kinda burned..."
Businessman1: "Daarrrrrn. My Pirrraaaate Beam missed! I'll stab you for that!"
Aetos: "Uh huh..." *makes a stance like he's performing 'kamehameha'.. but he just shoots out a ball of wind at Yarr-boy.*
Businessman1: "Yarrr! You are a Plagiarrrrrist!"
Metal Man (GM): *SMACK.* He's hit in the face. You knock him backwards a bit, but it doesn't seem to matter much. Because there's nowhere far to be knocked to.
Businessman1: "Arrr!"
Metal Man (GM): He shoots at you with his old-timey pistol.
Aetos gets shot... bad... "Jeez... I thought you were gunna stab me!"
Metal Man (GM): His pistol probably isn't of the normal variety...
Businessman1: "Arrr! I be unable to make up my mind!"
Aetos: "You need to go away now."
Businessman1: "Nevarrrr!"
Aetos holds his hands out like he's gripping an imaginary baseball bat... but a sword forms out of wind... he runs up at and slices at the pirate several times.
Metal Man (GM): The pirate shoots at you as you do the attack.
Aetos: *Shot.*
Metal Man (GM): You take another bit of damage. Then you go up to him and hit him three times. He looks somewhat beaten up. Then he picks up that box and opens it in your face again. BLAM.
Aetos blinks as the beam blasts at him good... ish.
Businessman1: "Arrr! You be worthless!"
Aetos: "I be worthless? Speak for yourself!" *runs up to him and does a powerful crosschop.*
Metal Man (GM): Well, do something. Before he can pick up that box again.
Aetos runs up to him and tries to restrain him in the air with MAGGIICC! *Destroyus Bobius!*
Metal Man (GM): He shoots another bullet at you.
Aetos: *Ouch.*
Metal Man (GM): His Superhuman accuracy is painfully delicious. I mean Then you hit him.
Aetos successfully holds him up in the air... damage. then instantly kicks him in the gut... Ouch.
Metal Man (GM): Okay then. *Grab.* *KICK.* He lands on the ground, stands up, and then begins charging his gun.
Aetos: "Watcha doin'?"
Businessman1: "I'm gonna blooww you out of the watarrrrr!!!!"
Aetos: "I'm so sure." *charges up his Air blast [the air ball thing] to a medium-size... then fires it at Pirate.*
Metal Man (GM): You knock him over, making his charge useless. *hit.* *BLAM* He falls back and explodes. +500 EXP. The sign flies up into your face again. It says... 'Choose right this time or you're doomed!'
Businessman2: "You showed that imposter who's boss... but why? WHY WAS A PIRATE WEARING A BUSINESS SUIT?"
Aetos: *Level-up.* points to Man # 3.
Businessman2: "Nooooo!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Businessman2 drops from the ceiling, and is revealed to be... an upside-down walking person!
Metal Man (GM): The backwards talking man lands on the ground.
Businessman3: "Thank you. I was afraid you might have to fight that freak who was sitting near me."
Aetos kicks any remains of the asploded pirate.
Metal Man (GM): He bows and then vanishes. Then gravity reverses. You fall onto the 'ceiling'
Aetos: *Thud.* "My head..."
Metal Man (GM): You see a clearly marked exit, now. Into another path down the maze.
Aetos walks out this exit, muttering "I hate coffee."
Metal Man (GM): You see your next obstacle. A big gate is in the way. And there's a large control panel in front of it.
Aetos: "I hope these numbers don't smack me in the face..."
Metal Man (GM): And there's a red button, a green button, a blue button, and a button which is actually a tower of buttons. Oh. And a weird red lever off to the right marked 'OPEN DOOR'
Aetos: "Uh... Insane... right... gotta remember that." *shrugs and pulls the lever.*
Metal Man (GM): A portal appears above your head.
Aetos: "Uh oh."
Metal Man (GM): Nodal falls out of it and onto you.
Aetos: "WHE THE HECK ARE YOU?"
Nodal blinks.
Metal Man (GM): I guess that wasn't a door opening lever. The buttons remain.
Nodal: "I gotta stop taking those pills."
Aetos blinks back.
Nodal pinches himself. "Ow!"
Aetos shrugs.
Nodal: "Who are you? And why do I feel nostalgia?"
Aetos: "Let's get through this door... I don't care if your a dream or not. I'm Aetos... yeah..."
Nodal: "I'm Nodal it's nice to meet you." *looks at the buttons.*
Aetos nods.
Metal Man (GM): Red, green, blue, or tower of buttons?
Nodal: "Well I like the color blue. And usually get hurt in towers. But I guess you were here first. You first. Well if you don't feel up to it." *presses the blue button.*
Aetos: "I was the one who pulled the lever..."
Metal Man (GM): You hear a faint buzz... then the room begins filling with water. Slowly, but steadily.
Aetos "Hope you can swim... I can't." Aetos then pushes the red button.
Nodal can swim in his light armor.
Metal Man (GM): The door opens up.
Aetos flees.
Nodal goes through.
Metal Man (GM): Aetos flees right into the last stop of his travels! Aetos walks into what looks like some sort of palace throne room. With Nodal.
Aetos: "Ahh... the fruits of my hard work as a Quester."
Metal Man (GM): Inside, there are four vases on four tables.
Nodal checks out the vases wondering what they are.
Aetos waits for a sign or something.
Metal Man (GM): Nodal walks towards the vases, which suddenly begin floating mid-air.
Nodal jumps backwards.
Aetos: "Good enough..."
Nodal: "Woah."
Metal Man (GM): Then the throne chair rips out of the wall and flies next to them.
Aetos: "Not the kinda sign I wanted... but still.....Hi, chair."
Metal Man (GM): Then... it morphs into something extremely odd.
Nodal: "What the..."
Metal Man (GM): The vases meld with it to make a vaguely humanoid monster.
Thrown Man: "Who dares trespass Thrown Man's palace of pickles?"
Aetos: "Uhh..Aetos... and him."
Nodal: "I'm Nodal."
Thrown Man: "...I see. What do you want from the great and all mighty Thrown Man?"
Aetos: "To pass this 'trial' thing."
Nodal: "I have no needs at the moment. Other than finding out how I got here."
Thrown Man: "Oh really? Pass this trial? Why, the only way to do that... hmmmm..."
Nodal turns to Aetos.
Thrown Man: "Aha! Yes. You have two choices."
Nodal: "Trial? I'm in this because of your trial?"
Thrown Man: "Eat a thousand pickles or eat a pickled thousand. Of course!"
Nodal: "How big is the pickled thousand?"
Thrown Man: "It is the size of the number one thousand, but has been pickled."
Aetos: "This puts us in quite a pickle... Nodal."
Nodal groans.
Aetos grins.
Nodal: "Of all the places to fall in I have to find a punny guy."
Aetos: "Puny?"
Nodal: "No punny."
Aetos: "Punny... right. "
Thrown Man: "If you do not pick one or the other, I will hurl jars of pickles at you!"
Aetos: "Is that what those vases are?"
Nodal: "Dont you mean throw jars of pickes?"
Thrown Man: "You mean my shoulders and knees? Don't... yes... I will throw them! Thank you for the correction. If I hurled them, surely I would have died. Then you would have won."
Nodal: "I'm here to help."
Aetos: "Won? If we kill you, we win?"
Thrown Man: "No, you must eat a thousand pickles or a pickled thousand."
Nodal: "Thats for the pickle crack Aetos."
Aetos: "Just pick already then, Nodal... before I make another one."
Nodal: "It's your trial. Your choice."
Aetos: "You're here to help."
Nodal: "Fine. We choose the pickled thousand."
Thrown Man: "Hahahahahahaha! That thousand is infinitely larger than any pickles! You're doomed You've lost! You've... what? You're not the contestant! I can't do anything to you! Curses!"
Aetos laughs.
Metal Man (GM): He hurls himself into the wall and explodes.
Nodal chuckles.
Metal Man (GM): A big ol' Zelda blue thing appears in the floor. You know, 'exit dungeon.'
Aetos: "But... the vases!"
Nodal takes a pickle and steps into the warp.
Aetos runs up to one and tries to see if he can grab it.
Nodal sighs.
Metal Man (GM): The vases are in pieces, as they merged with the throne. Nodal flies up and out of the PATH OF INSANITY.
Aetos shrugs and walks into the warp circle... all mopey.
Nodal: "Pshh, I've already walked the Path of Insanity before."
Metal Man (GM): *WARP.* You both appear up in the main room where E Li Three and the screens are.
Nodal: "Oh god more people. Who are you?"
E Li Three: "My, my. You managed to survive and bring someone else back with you! I was so close to owning your weapons..."
Aetos: .oO(I hope they didn't catch me picking my nose.)
E Li Three: "I am E Li Three, master of trickery."
Nodal: "I am Nodal."
Aetos: "He probably already knows... it was, after all, part of HIS reation that brough you in there."
E Li Three: "Maybe. I happen to program holes in the space time continuum into it by accident."
Nodal: "Well if that thing down there is the path of Insanity then ---Exactly. Where am I?"
E Li Three: "Below Quester headquarters. Where I have lived for fourteen years."
Aetos: "On the planet of Nintendus..."
Nodal: "Quester Headquarters? QUESTER HEADQUARTERS! I'm back!"
Aetos: "...Yeah--back?"
E Li Three: "You're back? ...Crazy Questers. Going out on extradimensional trips while everyone else lives normally."
Nodal: "I've been looking for this place for years! Ever since I was lost after a mission."
E Li Three: "I see."
Nodal: "I wonder if my room is still here."
E Li Three: "I wouldn't know."
Ivan Robotnik: "I wonder what the other people are doing..."
Nodal turns to Aetos. "So you're a Quester?"
Aetos looks for a chair to sit in and watch the other Questers. Aetos then nods.
Nodal mutters. "Wolf's been lowering his standards..."
Aetos: "Wolf is on Turion still... I think."
Nodal: "Too many questions..." *sits down.*
Nodal sits back and relaxes.
Nick Caligo (GM): As Metal stood watch outside Quester HQ, he couldn't help but notice how barren the war-charred landscape around Nintendus looked... Kuja remade Nintendus alright. Into a hellhole. The dark sky churned uneasily as thunder boomed in the distance, mirroring Metal's stomach.
Metal Man: "This world is in much turmoil... it will be a miracle if we even survive."
???: "...I can't help but agree."
Nick Caligo (GM): A flash of green light illuminates the area from behind Metal... he'd hear something... hovering?
Metal Man: "...Huh? Who is that?" *Turns towards the source of the voice.*
Nick Caligo (GM): The black hedgehog himself floated before Metal on his jet skates, arms folded, a dreadful sneer on his face.
Shadow: "Hmph. This is who Kuja's so afraid of? You look rustier than the Professor's old robots." He drops to the ground into a low, wide-set fighting stance.
Nick Caligo (GM): o/` I Am o/`
Metal Man: "It's a long story actually. there is... hey! I'm actually from after his time!"
Metal Man gets into a freaky looking fighting stance, looking like a cross between a martial arts guy and the Scarecrow.
Shadow: "Shut up! Your voice annoys me. I'm here to put you out of commission for good..."
Metal Man: "That makes two of us."
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow narrows his eyes before suddenly darting at Metal and shoulder-bashing him. MAN he's fast! Metal can barely see him as he moves.
Metal Man is hit, as he moves in slow-mo, like some person in knight's armor.
Nick Caligo (GM): He quickly follows up by jump-kicking Metal as he begins to move slightly back. He then flips in the air, trying to slam him into the ground by the back of his head. Critical hit!
Metal Man (GM): Hit and... hit.
Nick Caligo (GM): Damage from the first one, more from the second.
Metal Man (GM): Metal continues to move very slowly, thought the hits seem to make a loud CLANK noise against his armor.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow lands behind Metal and turns to face him after landing several hits. "Hmph! How pathetic..."
Metal Man: "You can hit me all you want, but you won't go very far. Be blinded by the light!"
Metal Man points his palm at Shadow and fires four beams of light energy at the hedgehog.
Metal Man (GM): The two that hit Shadow deal damage each.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow's incredibly fleet of foot, zipping out of the way of a couple of rays that would sear any normal person. Two of them catch him, though.
Metal Man: "You may be fast, but slow and steady wins the race."
Nick Caligo (GM): The slightly charred hedgehog quickly retaliates by dashing up to Metal and going into a sliding kick at his ankles.
Metal Man is hit again, seeing as he's very slow in comparison to Shadow.
Nick Caligo (GM): He ricochets off his legs, doing damage, and then suddenly shoots at him through the air, denying every law of physics imaginable as he zips at Metal enshrouded in yellow energy.
Metal Man continues taking the hits like a walking being of steel.
Nick Caligo (GM): He bounces off his metal body again, then lands with a skid as he shoots a bright blue burst of energy from his fingertips. Damage.
Metal Man takes out a Metal Cola and chugs it all, then he hurls it at Shadow.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow jumps the cola.
Metal Man (GM): *Boom.* A nice hole in the roof.
Metal Man then does something crazy. He points at Shadow and yells "SHOE!" A cloud of shoes fly at Shadow.
Metal Man (GM): *PELT* *High Knockback.* Damage.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow's sent flying back and takes... a buttload of damage... but is still kicking. Get it? Shoes? Kicking? It's a pun! Ha ha. Anyhow, he quickly flips, recovering from the attack in mid-air, then skates along the ground and comes right back in Metal's face with another homing attack jump-dash.
Metal Man sidesteps the attack.
Nick Caligo (GM): He overshoots Metal and lands behind him again, skidding and turning back towards him.
Metal Man runs up to Shadow and begins wildly trying to smack Shadow around with weak finger twaps.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow ducks and spins around Metal, taking no more than two twaps from his fingers. Shadow flips back, then dashes in at Metal full speed! He leaps past him, clotheslining him by the neck (Grab!).
Metal Man is grabbed, mainly because he can't react fast enough.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow rips him off his feet and drags him along the ground for a moment before tossing him into the air and landing a quick punch in his chest.
Metal Man takes no damage from the grab, then is still dragged around and tossed around.
Nick Caligo (GM): He skips back after letting Metal land, then leaps into the air and begins gathering energy unto himself... an aura of gold energy surrounds him and shoots into his palms. "Chaos... SPEAR!" He hurls a ball of pure, golden entropy at the Quester's greatest.
Metal Man is barely hit. Metal then Man stands up, smoking, but as always, seemingly unstoppable.
Metal Man: "I'll teach you to mess with me... eyyyaaaahhhhh!!!!"
Metal Man runs up to Shadow and tries to stomp on his feet. Really hard. Metal then Man stomps the roof good.
Nick Caligo (GM): Shadow steps out of the way, eyes half shut out of bemusement. "Well, you're powerful..." He glanced at the cracks in the roof before turning his attention back up to Metal with a quick flip-kick to the chin. While still in the air, he flew at Metal spinning like a buzzsaw, though not with quite the speed of the homing attack.
Metal Man manages to walk away from those two attacks.
Nick Caligo (GM): He lands just in front of Metal, barely missing him as he backs away from his attacks. He plants his feet firmly into the ground before gathering red energy all around himself... "Chaos... BLAST!" .. and then releasing it in a furious explosion. Metal's caught in the explosion, taking damage. "...But you lack style..."
Metal Man: "Argh... you are very fast... but can you dodge this?" *Metal powers up and unleashes eight beams of light at Shadow in rapid-fashion. That's four hits... damage.
Nick Caligo (GM): "...!" Shadow's eyes go wide before he starts hecticly trying to dodge the attacks. He's able to avoid only half of them and gets blasted back a good ways. The hedgehog growls. "Now you've made me ANGRY. HA!" He zips up to Metal with a loud SWOOSH of his jet skates and proceeds to try to grab him by the arm.
Metal Man is too slow to dodge.
Nick Caligo (GM): He swings the Metallic one over his head, then flips, sending him FLYING backwards damageand high knockback. He then dashes over and leaps over his body, bouncing like a spiked superball from hell on top of him.
Metal Man is barely hit, but it does hit.
Metal Man shoots yet another beam of Light at Shadow, then drinks another Metal Cola and hurls it at him.
Nick Caligo (GM): He hops to the side to evade the beam, then ducks under the cola. He swings low with a sliding kick to Metal's calves, then flips up quick and low before throwing all that torque into a HUGE sweep saturated with golden energy to cut him off at the ankles.
Metal Man (GM): *Hit.* *Hit.*
Nick Caligo (GM): Damage--plus high knockback from that smash. Metal's whipped off his feet and sent flying upwards.
Metal Man lands on his back, but quickly gets up. Then he runs at Shadow. "DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" ...Yup. No style. He attacks first by trying to uppercut Shadow with a chainsaw.
Metal Man (GM): *Chainsaws air.*
Metal Man then tries to grab the hedgehog by the neck, in typical slow fashion.
Metal Man (GM): *Grabs air.*
Nick Caligo (GM): "Hmph..." Shadow suddenly disappears in a flash of light before reappearing behind Metal, floating, his arms crossed. "I don't know why Klumsy has so much faith in you..."
Metal Man: "He has faith in me because I will never give up, no matter the odds! Nothing will make me stop..." *He spins around and slides backwards like a loony.*
Nick Caligo (GM): "Hmph. Yeah, right... anyway, he told me to give you this." He tosses Metal a yellow Chaos Emerald.
Metal Man: "...Huh?"
Metal Man catches it, and looks incredulous. As incredulous as a man wearing cybernetic armor can be.
Nick Caligo (GM): "You can use that Chaos Emerald as well as the other ones to use Chaos Control and make your way to Klumsy's Holo Tomb... he has something he wants you to do there."
Metal Man: "...Really? Fascinating. Uhhh... Thank you."
Shadow: "You'll need all three to warp all the Questers there... Bah! Personally I think it's a waste of perfectly good Chaos Emeralds..."
Metal Man: "I'm not one to play with objects of power, but sometimes you just have to."
Nick Caligo (GM): "Anyway, he says it's vital to the future of Nintendus... or what little of one it HAS. You should tell him to face the facts. This planet, and everyone on it, is doomed, and there's nothing anybody can do about it!"
Metal Man: "If it is doomed, then I, the captain of the Questers, have the duty of going down with the ship. Wolfman would want nothing less... if he hadn't have gotten lost on Turion."
Nick Caligo (GM): "Whatever. I'm getting sick of staring at your ugly face. Bye!" He flashes out, flashes back in briefly right in front of Metal's face, SMACKS him one good, then flashes out one last time...
Metal Man: "Ow!" He recoils a bit, then thinks outloud. "...Man, that was a great fight."
Editor's Note: Ah, whatever this was never went beyond the intro. So much for Azure.
Metal Man (GM): Azure's Eleven Trials. Azure falls through the floor, like the others. However, he lands somewhere else. A nondescript room. White walls, wooden ceiling, a single hanging lightbulb, and a red carpeted floor. He sees before him... A crude, wooden table. A big box, almost like a christmas present, is on the table. It looks interesting.
Editor's Note: And that's it.
Metal Man (GM): Final Path of Insanity mission: Aribar's journey. Aribar, like anyone else, fell through the floor. Or so it seemed. He did, indeed, fall through, but then gravity reversed itself. He is now walking on the underside of the floor, "Upside down" compared to everyone else, but within the room he is in, it is right side up.
Aribar blinks and looks around.* "What's going on?"
Metal Man (GM): It has the same decor as the room he just left. However, everything is upside-down, and a door is on the wrong side of the room instead of where it should be. The doorknob is also "Incorrectly" on the right side of the door. It's the only way out of this weird backwards room.
Aribar frowns and heads over to the door.*
Metal Man (GM): Nothing else strikes your fancy; backwards rugs don't exactly equal sgurs. You reach the door. A dim light can be seen filtering in from it.
Aribar hrms and pokes the doorknob just to see if anything happens.*
Metal Man (GM): The doorknob instantly heals some health. And this effect is obviously on the wrong side of the door.
Aribar attempts to open the door now.*
Metal Man (GM): You attempt to pull it open, but it doesn't seem to open that way. Of course, it is the opposite of the door on the other side...
Aribar attempts to push it open.*
Metal Man (GM): You push the weird door open, and discover something odd: the staircase you entered with in the other place. However, it's going down, and is fully lit up. It is fully accommodated by guardrails and looks like a part of the Stadium. It's even fully lit up!
Aribar reaches to unsheath his sword, and just then remembers that he no longer has it. The elf sighs and starts down the stair case, holding onto the left hand rail.*
Metal Man (GM): You go down the strange staircase. It feels very safe. And it's short, too, unlike the one in the real world. Soon, it is no longer a cave. It's a metal staircase which comes out of the side of a huge mountain... and you're walking now to the top of some tower labeled "QH retseiQ." This world is the opposite of the one you just left; blue sky, green grass... this is a valley rather than a hill... And lightly defended.
Aribar starts forward towards the tower.* "Hrm... A very odd place."
Metal Man (GM): You reach the top of the tower. Your dex makes a very odd noise. It sounds like an inverted beep. Someone must be trying to contact you.
Aribar: "Eh?" *The elf takes a quick look around himself to see if there's anything dangerous nearby before opening his dex.*
Metal Man (GM): Nothing dangerous. Peaceful clouds, birds chirping...
Aribar: "Hello?" *The elf speaks into the dex after opening it up.*
E Li Three: "Hello, Aribar. You appear to have made your way into Sudnetnin as planned. I chose you for this last, most important part. In order to counteract Kuja's force field, you must steal a weird device buried in this opposite world. This is the negative of Nintendus, generated specially by devices which only I can control."
Aribar: "I see..."
E Li Three: "Do not take anything else but this device; anything you bring back will negate its counterpart in Nintendus."
Aribar sounds slightly doubtful that this is the job for him.*
E Li Three: "You might think doing that, to, say, Kuja would be good... But it generates a large hole in the space-time continuum. If we did that, we'd basically cause our dimension to collapse and become like the X-Zone. Luckily, Kuja's barrier itself seems to defy physics, so removing it will actually help balance things. I must add, it may have some unintended side-effects on you guys."
Aribar: "... Unintended side effects? Like what?"
E Li Three: "It will change the way you Questers fight. I don't know exactly how, but it's related to the fact that it's a Quester item you're bringing back. There's not much time. Generating this realm took the fighting energy of three people."
Aribar frowns, not liking the sound of that.* "Okay... So where is this device and what does it look like?"
E Li Three: "At the bottom of the ten-story tower you're on. Luckily, it's unsecured. You just have to watch out for opposite Questers. They won't attack, no, but they might either distract you or be confused themselves."
Aribar: "What does this device look like? ... From what you said about changing the way we fight, I'm thinking the Fighter Remote?"
E Li Three: "I can't maintain the transmission. Good luck. It's just at the bottom of the tower." *Pop.*
Metal Man (GM): The transmission fizzles out. However, the tower doesn't look imposing.
Aribar frowns and pockets the dex.*
Metal Man (GM): There's a nice staircase, door hanging open. You can just walk down.
Aribar: "Goodie. I must get a device that I have no idea what it looks like or what it is." *starts down the staircase.**
Metal Man (GM): You enter the first level of the place, and realize that you're in some sort of basement.....And on a throne is somebody who looks like Locos.
Aribar tries to quickly locate a door or another staircase and heads straight to the first one he sees.*
Naellegam Selrahc: "Stop right there. The door is locked."
Metal Man (GM): You walk up to the door, and find it locked.
Naellegam Selrahc: "Don't worry. I don't want to get in your way, whoever you are. However, I must do a favor for you before you can pass."
Aribar: "Oh, a favor?"
Naellegam Selrahc: "Ask me for anything besides unlocking the door, I shall do it, and then the door shall unlock."
Aribar: "Can you give me the keys to every room in this place?"
Naellegam Selrahc: "We don't use keys, unfortunately. Rather, we use Doritos. And we happen to be out of them, so most of the doors are unlocked."
Aribar: "Ah... Then will you allow me to sit on your throne for a moment?"
Naellegam Selrahc: "Sure." *He gets up and stands next to it.*
Metal Man (GM): The throne is simple and plain;
Aribar walks over and sits on the throne.*
Metal Man (GM): It's entirely made out of gold.
Aribar: "There. My favor has been granted."
Metal Man (GM): And is in the shape of a lawn chair.
Naellegam Selrahc: "Door unlocked."
Metal Man (GM): The door opens up.
Aribar stands up and walks over to the door.* "Thank you."
Naellegam Selrahc: "You're welcome."
Aribar heads through the door.*
Metal Man (GM): The door continues to lead down. You enter a room which appears to be R&R. You see a man eating a couch, and next to it... somebody who looks like Phantom.
Motnahp: "Wait! Wait! You must be sure all guns you own are properly safety locked! Just one mistake could be deadly!"
Aribar: "I have no guns so that's no problem." *looks about for another exit.*
Motnahp: "...Oh. Well then, uhh, have a nice trip through our SretrauqdeaH."
Metal Man (GM): You see another easy to use door.
Aribar heads to the door and attempts to open it up.*
Metal Man (GM): It opens on up. And as soon as you open it, there is the next room. It's obviously Wolfman's office. However, Wolfman is not in it. VG is. VG is playing video games, rather loudly at that. Cables are all over the room. It's tricky to get across without either tripping over them or knocking into VG's many discarded cans of soda.
Aribar stands in the doorway looking for an exit in this room.-*
Metal Man (GM): You find a trapdoor in the floor. However, you have to get across the room to reach it.
Aribar tries to get across the room to the trap door without tripping over anything and without stepping into VG's field of vision.*
Metal Man (GM): You and your superb luck get you across without flaw.
Aribar opens the trap door and goes through if nothing stops him.*
VG: "Eeeeh! Your skills are superb! I should play you some time... but not now! I must defeat Toad! Hahahahaha! DIE TOAD!!!" *continues playing.*
Aribar: "Uhhh..... Thanks. I think."
Metal Man (GM): You open the trap door. You're now down on the seventh floor. This floor is definitely some sort of laboratory. There's all sorts of neat-looking guns which use cubes laying around.
Professor Kao: "Don't mind me. You can use the door over there." *He points at another open door.*
Aribar: "Thanks." *The elf heads to the other door and opens it, happy that this has went off without a hitch so far.*
Metal Man (GM): You open that door too. You're on the sixth floor, and now in... some sort of museum. The door looks like an automatic one. But you can't find out if it's open without walking to it.
Aribar decides to head over to the door and see if just standing before it will make it open before doing anything else.*
Metal Man (GM): It opens a tiny crack, then stops. It seems to be lacking power. Electrical power.
Aribar looks about to see if there may be a computer console or something similar.*
Metal Man (GM): No consoles. Only some exposed wires which look like they could use some power.
Aribar nods as he sees the wires. The elf turns around and starts to take a quick search of the area to see if there are any electronics or power cords around. Aribar then mutters to himself that he could try and take one from VG's room, but that may not be a good idea...*
Metal Man (GM): No power.
Aribar: "Well, I suppose I'll just have to do this myself..." *summons up his elemental aura and electricity blitzes around the elf's body. He then attempts to grab touch the wires with his hand, hoping that his aura can charge up the wires.*
Metal Man (GM): You touch the wires. The door slowly opens. *Clonk.* The way to the fifth floor is ahead.
Aribar steps back from the wires and deactivates his aura before heading into down... Err... Up... Before heading to the fifth floor.*
Metal Man (GM): You walk into the staircase, and discover nothing less than... a very long slide. It appears to lead on down to the bottom. *Que Super Mario 64 'slide' music.*
Aribar sits down in front of the slide and inches onto it. The elf attempts to not build up too much speed.*
Metal Man (GM): The slide isn't too fast. However, it does appear sufficiently tricky. You quickly reach a gap. *poke.* *prod.* *Jalepeno.* You leap over the gap with impressive agility.
Aribar: "I hate slides..."
Metal Man (GM): And, within a few moments, you slide on into the room on the bottom. It's some weird room... a small and strange sphere glows in the center of some sort of glass tube. Electricity blitzes around inside it, and computers are everywhere.
Aribar looks all about the room. "Is there where that thing is?"
Metal Man (GM): There's a nice sign which says "Quantum Decombobulator" above it. It looks like what you want.
Aribar frowns and walks over to the nearest console and tries to figure out how to open up the tube.*
Metal Man (GM): You stare at the console... Computer. You think to yourself, "Why not press the red button?" Then you press it. Absolutely nothing happens.
Aribar: "Hrm..... Is it broken?"
Metal Man (GM): The glass case itself doesn't look too tough.
Aribar looks up at the ceiling, trying to gauge how high the room is.*
Metal Man (GM): 10 feet tall, the room is. The tube's about 6 feet tall and supported by two podiums on the floor and ceiling. Power comes from the bottom one.
Aribar takes a few steps back and rushes up to the tube, leaping into the air and performing a backflip combined with a kick at the tube.* (Moonsault Kick)
Metal Man (GM): You crack it. Electricity crackles on the outside as well as the inside now. Probably gonna need some more attacks to crack it open.
Aribar lands and sees that he only cracked it. The elf leaps back into the air, a somersault now, and kicks the tube again.* (Somersault Kick)
Metal Man (GM): Either that or something... devious. You hit the tube again. It cracks some more, then bursts open as the electricity flies everywhere. The electricity flickers... and then you have yourself the sphere for the taking.
Aribar hopes this doesn't hurt as he reaches into the tube and takes the sphere.*
Metal Man (GM): You take the sphere... *VOOMP.* You appear back in the room you just left, holding the sphere. It suddenly disintegrates.
E Li Three: "The negation has taken place."
Metal Man (GM): All of the Questers are suddenly surrounded by an eerie green glow...
Aribar: "Whew... That was painless... What's going on?"
E Li Three: "I am doing as promised. The barrier is being negated."
Aribar: "Ah..."
E Li Three: *snaps his fingers.*
Metal Man (GM): BZAM! A blinding flash fills the room for a second. You feel like you just got zapped by some static electricity. The glow ends.
Nodal: "Very flashy."
E Li Three: "That is all I can do for you at the moment. Your leader... has some important news. He's upstairs, of course. The others already left."
Aribar: "Thanks, E Li Three." *The elf takes both of his weapons and his transformer before taking the stairs two at a time up to the Big Room.*
Nodal: "Well thanks for making things interesting." *follows Aribar.*
E Li Three: "You're welcome." *He bows, then vanishes. The door shuts and locks itself behind him.
Metal Man (GM): This mission is over. +600 EXP to Aribar. +10,000 coins to Aribar.