Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 364: Shopping for Weirdos

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Date: May 17th & 18th, 2007.
Metal Man (GM): Cinema: Private Cane and ??? have settled into their respective labs, building their own visions of time machines for their own goals. They don't know of the other, of course. ??? works full time as Cane makes plans to take the crystal back and complete the project. The camera zooms in as Cane hovers over a variety of reconstructed machines.
Private Cane: "Now is the time, Avon. We shall return and prevent these Solarians. They shall all die from the powers of this crystal... and hence, I will save the world."
Avon: "We're a bit far away from that phase right now. I can't seem to synchronize the generators."
Private Cane: "Bah! We don't need that! I have the crystal to ensure it works!"
Avon: "Wasn't that the reason you got sent here in the first place?"
Private Cane: "Nonsense. This dark crystal sent me here... so I would know of the Solarians. It just happened to take some sort of fool with me."
Avon: "...You haven't mentioned this other person... who is it?"
Private Cane: "Some strange brown-haired, yellow-eyed man. His very appearance changed in relation to his location... A Colonel... that's all I remember. His name badge was long gone, and he appeared to be acting without orders."
Avon: "Odd. I've searched the database, but his name isn't there either."
Private Cane: "He's killed himself by now, anyway. Now! Get the portal working!"
Metal Man (GM): He kicks a computer, and a Star Trek-like warp pad turns on.
Private Cane: "Excellent! I shall complete the Ether-world project and bring the future's technology to bear on past offenders!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out some futuristic guns and leaps into the warp... Meanwhile, ??? has finished his own. It's... a black ring. Zio used the same... thing... when he threatened to release something from the underworld. ??? brushes the dust off of it; it was freshly chiseled.
???: "My hard work is finished. With only a few diagrams, I only needed to complete his theorem... suspiciously, the crystal fits the hole perfectly."
Metal Man (GM): He plugs the crystal in and turns it on... And also steps into it. The camera now pans to the... NULL ZONE. Both he and Private Cane appear in this zone, which is brand new to both of them.
Private Cane: "What? This isn't the past... you! You did this!"
???: "This... this was created by both our time-paths colliding. It is clearly your intent to stop me."
Private Cane: "Fat chance! I thought you were dead, but... you're in for it, stick-man!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out the guns and shoots at ???, fatally wounding him several times over. ??? falls over, however the crystal of his appears and glows oddly.
Private Cane: "What is this? Another thing which shall not listen to my orders?" He shoots at the crystal over and over again.
Metal Man (GM): It does nothing. Meanwhile, ???'s body glows, and stands up again... unharmed.
???: "You cannot kill me as long as I have that crystal, and neither can I kill you. Do you understand?"
Private Cane: "Never!" *BLAM BLAM BLAM.*
Metal Man (GM): It doesn't work this time either. ??? shakes his head.
???: "What were you trying to do in the first place?"
Private Cane: "I must... kill... Solarians! The Solarians! They're gonna destroy everything I worked for!"
???: "What are you talking about? This planet has no humans on it who know of any such thing."
Private Cane: "Avon told me."
???: "Avon doesn't exist on this planet."
Private Cane: "No, you fool, this planet isn't a planet. It's Earth, and the aftermath of your foolery on it, at that! These crystals failed to destroy the Solarians, so they destroyed us. Somehow they died too, but that doesn't matter. The people here have no future because of you!"
???: "At least they aren't slaves to the crystals and un-Men."
Private Cane: "...!!!... I'm going to make sure I get off of this timeline, one way or another..." He walks out. ??? does too, and they leave behind the Null Zone... and the energy from both crystals triggers in their wake, permanently freezing it in time and rendering it impossible to harm people permanently there.
Metal Man (GM): ??? returns to his lab. He seems angry... but then he realizes a wire is out of place.
???: "Hm... I think we were both too hasty... but it makes no sense. Why are we both doing the same thing?"
Metal Man (GM): He picks up from where he lost... the camera zooms out, and some more time passes. Sand blows by. The small settlement around ???'s machines has grown into a techno-city, with technology vastly beyond that of Neo-Earth's. The now older ??? is still working, having built a large amount of machinery. There is even the beginnings of an X-zone weapon laying on a table.
???: "It's been five years, and yet I cannot escape this realm... that thing... only seems to go between dimensions and space."
Metal Man (GM): He's writing in a journal.
???: "I have, however, found a new machine."
Metal Man (GM): He finishes his entry there, and takes out... a staff. It's a shiny black staff, one piece, and looks extremely magical.
???: "Using this staff... I shall return home. The crystal shall be destroyed in the process, ending the evil of its kind. But... I have to finish this first."
Metal Man (GM): He glows, and walks up a set of stairs, carrying the staff... directly into the deadly sunlight. Sephiroth, normally out inspecting the massive barren mess he claims to himself, sees ??? and turns to him.
Sephiroth: "I have told you and your... people... to stay in the crater or be destroyed. You have not followed my rules..." He smiles evilly. "I shall have to kill you, like all the other planet-killers."
???: "Is that all you can do? Talk?"
Sephiroth: "Your death is assured by your attitude, fool!"
Metal Man (GM): ??? says nothing in return.
Sephiroth: "Very well... you shall die." He leaps at ??? with his sword.
Metal Man (GM): He reaches 10 seconds in and swings, and ??? merely moves the point of his staff slightly and falls back in time with Sephiroth. Sephiroth impales himself on the staff, his sword mere millimeters from ???'s nose.
Sephiroth: "Your staff is merely a normal rock. It cannot kill me."
Metal Man (GM): He takes it free and laughs, swinging with normal Sephiroth speed. In fact, if ??? didn't have the crystal, he'd surely be dead. Sephiroth was still up to his normal fighting powers here. However, ??? takes the blows and shakes his head, wiping the blood off of one of the cuts. Even with his power, Sephiroth has essentially given ??? tons of paper cuts. ??? stands again, and moves. He moves slowly enough that Sephiroth catches the opening and goes for a stab. ??? swings his staff at an unseen-before speed, breaking the sword and causing it to shake so much that it hurts Sephiroth's hands and he drops it. He then holds up his other hand, and speaks one word.
???: "Obliteration."
Metal Man (GM): Sephiroth is hit by a black beam, and it seems all over. Then somebody hits ??? over the head with a giant boulder. It's... the man from the village earlier, but he's dressed differently. He also looks kinda angry. There is also The Businessman, and also... Private Cane.
Private Cane: "You cannot be allowed to kill Sephiroth... his powers are needed to make us Gods!"
Metal Man (GM): Sephiroth lays on the ground, twitching, as ??? slowly looks at them from the ground himself.
???: "If he lives ten more seconds, your entire settlement will be vaporized by the curse he set."
Metal Man (GM): ??? reaches for the staff, but The Businessman steps on his hand and busts the staff into many pieces.
The Businessman: "Now now, you haven't made a deal with me. Sephiroth originally dealt with me about the to---..."
Metal Man (GM): The brilliant light shines on the town, annihilating it.
Sephiroth: "And you didn't read the fine print? You're as gullible as the head of the Shinra corporation."
Metal Man (GM): The Businessman reacts in shock, but retains composure quickly.
The Businessman: "No matter. I shall merely bargain with as many people as possible, until I get enough components to rebuild it myself."
Private Cane: "C'mon, c'mon! I told you, that village was that Colonel guy's village! Forget it! Those people betrayed you!"
The Businessman: "...Right."
Priavte Cane: "Now... to deal with Sephiroth..."
Metal Man (GM): He steps on ???'s hand as he walks by. ??? desperately reaches for even a corner of his staff, but the others... all Phantom Lords before they gained their powers... stop him.
Private Cane: "Now... you mentioned... yes, your name being... The Fury now..." He points at the man from earlier. "...That Sephiroth himself was summoned by the destruction of a curious artifact found in some ruins. Give me it."
The Fury: "But... I don't have it! I lost it! It... it was old... and... crumbly..."
Private Cane: "...I shall have to improvise. But if we ever get into trouble... you die first."
The Fury: "..." *gulp.*
Metal Man (GM): Private Cane holds up pieces of the broken staff.
Private Cane: "Staff of soul, mind, and body! Seal this fiend and give us his powers! Let us, once again, possess the ability of the Neo-Earthians!"
Metal Man (GM): He lets go of it, it floating. It makes no sense... until he takes out an ancient book. Apparently written by Gerald Robotnik.
Private Cane: "Using the Atlantean focus, I condemn this criminal to the depths of darkness for many years..."
Metal Man (GM): The book glows, and Sephiroth, split into three, vanishes. The staff pieces become three ornate pieces themselves, then scatter everywhere. The Phantom Lords gain their powers... and are left facing ???. ??? gets up. Even without the staff, he shoves The Businessman into a wall.
Private Cane: "How... how do you have such power? We destroyed your staff! You only have that worthless crystal!"
???: "I learned to focus it, while you only learned how to give in to yours. The balance of eternal pain and eternal power is thin, but enough to make even your stolen Godliness look pale."
Private Cane: "Welll... uh... quick! Seal him too!"
Metal Man (GM): The Fury picks up a piece of his staff. ??? runs and manages to kick Private Cane in the face, dealing a massive gash, but is sealed before he can do anything else. ??? drops a strange crystal besides the white one before he vanishes.
Private Cane: "And now... to use the God-like power of time travel!"
Metal Man (GM): He glows and... nothing happens.
Private Cane: "I said... ..."
Metal Man (GM): *Nothing.*
The Businessman: "I believe you forgot something..." He takes out a page from the book. It explicitly states that 'Gods, once whole, are incapable of traversing time on the mortal plane.'
Private Cane: "..."
Metal Man (GM): The camera zooms out, as there is a second explosion. Only this time, the deadly light didn't do it. Meanwhile... The Questers would be on the Seeker yet again, as Metal shakes his fist at various archival-quality films of the last mission.
Alexia walks in, looking rather the worse for wear after the last mission.
Dragoshi: *Already in the room, leaning 'gainst the wall.* "...Hrm?"
Julian: *Julian's in usual chair, bouncing the rubber ball against the wall about twice as hard as usual. He's still able to keep up with the catching and throwing rhythm.*
Metal Man: "I'll kill that evil son of a... oh, you're here, right."
Glyph: *Hop would be in some dark corner at this point looking shifty and clutching his Vendetta Machinegun protectively.*
Dragoshi: .oO(...What the hell is up with Hop?)
Metal Man dusts himself off, crushing some dice before looking to current things on the mission choices. "Well, luckily, you don't have a heavy workload today. Seeing as genocidal maniacs aren't on the bill yet. We've got ourselves Shadow and Tridus blowing up a bunch of buildings over here for no reason... hm... E Li Three has 'new and improved' tests for you to try and win things in... And the shopping mission is still open."
Douglas: *Votes shopping mission.*
Alexia: "...Huh. Usually, Hop bursts in right now with one of his gadgets."
Dragoshi: "...He hasn't done that for a while though. ...I think."
Alexia: "Yeah, come to think of it, it's also when I usually hurt him..."
Metal Man: "He's got a new toy."
Metal Man (GM): Professor Oak bursts in, holding a strange object.
Dragoshi: "Oh, yea... That machinegun Ivo gave him."
Professor Oak: "I have invented... ... no. You must guess what I have invented today!"
Glyph: *Hop doesn't really look like he's playing with it so much as he's waiting for something to attack him so he can use it.*
Dragoshi: "...Hello, Oak."
Metal Man (GM): He holds out a gray sphere.
Professor Oak: "What do you think this is?"
Glyph: [Hop] "It's an orb of three lives!"
Dragoshi: "Don't you mean 'marble'?"
Glyph: [Hop] "That too!"
Alexia: "...I honestly don't know. A grenade?"
Douglas: "It's a pokeball?"
Professor Oak: "No... not that, either... I already made enough grenades. Although if you need more explosives... getting warmer!"
Dragoshi: "A pokeball containing something aside from the usual suspects?"
Glyph: *Hop is caught up in the inventionness and has stopped waiting for disaster to strike.* *Hop drops the machine gun on the floor to check out the gray sphere.*
Metal Man (GM): It's metallic, hollow, and probably made of iron.
Professor Oak: "Nope."
Alexia: "A Pokeball for really, really hard-to-catch Pokemon?"
Glyph: [Hop] "Can we use it to travel through time?"
Professor Oak: "Closer... I tried a time travel device once. It was only good for starting fires."
Glyph: [Hop] "I know what you mean!"
Dragoshi: "Hope not. Time travel usually leads to big messes." @_@
Professor Oak: "Reminds me, my new popcorn machine is done."
Glyph: [Hop] "I know exactly what you mean!"
Alexia: "Hrm... A Pokeball for catching people?"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out a gun, puts out a bowl of popcorn kernels, sticks the gun in it, and turns it on. It becomes so hot the popcorn begins popping.
Professor Oak: "Not as good as the Sword of Light, but it'll do. And no."
Metal Man (GM): He ducks a mild explosion of popcorn and presses on the sphere. It beeps weirdly.
Alexia: "I give up."
Professor Oak: "This... is a pokemon detector! ...That's odd... I don't see any pokemon here..."
Metal Man (GM): Mewtwo is standing right behind him, a hunk of flaming popcorn stuck to his head.
Mewtwo: "What did I say about making large fires with popcorn again, Oak?"
Alexia: "..." *pulls that off with TK.*
Professor Oak: "Gah! Uh... I mean... it was him!" He points at a chair.
Alexia: "Someone should really stop him..."
Glyph: *Hop points at the chair accusatively.* "Shame!"
Dragoshi: "...That's a chair, Oak." >_>
Mewtwo: "The chair didn't put my shoes in a 'time travel' machine either, Oak."
Alexia: "...You wear shoes?"
Glyph: [Hop] "The plot thickens!"
Mewtwo: "As much as I don't wear them, they still had a purpose."
Professor Oak: "I was going to send them to a time in which you needed them!"
Alexia: *facepalm.*
Mewtwo: "The time in which you have also created your own world... which is on fire, right?"
Alexia: "Can we go now?"
Metal Man: "You're going for the shopping mission, right?"
Metal Man (GM): Professor Oak hands the orb to Dragoshi and runs off quickly. The popcorn gun continues chucking popcorn around for a few moments.
Alexia: "Apparently so."
Dragoshi: "..." *Puts the orb away.* >_>;;
Glyph: *Hop picks up the Vendetta again.*
Dragoshi: "...I guess."
Metal Man: "Okay then. Happy Shopping!"
Glyph: [Hop] "Do you think the shopping place will be like the last place? If not, can I come too?"
Metal Man: *Turns on the warp, then goes back to muttering angrily at pictures of Charles.* "No, Shopping place is safe. Like... no bad guys there."
Glyph: [Hop] "That, maybe I can handle that."
Metal Man: "I'd come, but I must grumble at every second of this footage."
Glyph: [Hop] "I hope your grumbling goes well for you, Mr. Metal Man."
Metal Man shakes his fist at a picture of Charles' shoes. "He always wore the wrong size shoes..."
Glyph: *Hop slowly and worriedly steps toward the portal.*
Alexia enters the warp, shaking her head.
Glyph: [Hop] "No scythe. That is a good sign." *Hop steps through.*
Julian: *Julian snatches the ball out of midair again, pockets it, and heads for the warp. Perhaps a fit of consumerism will cure his foul mood.*
Dragoshi: *Enters the warp.* >_>
Metal Man (GM): The Questers appear at the entrance to the Ferran SuperMallTastico.
Douglas: "...Weird name."
Metal Man (GM): It looks much like the ones one would see on Earth. Only there's one difference. Within moments, personalized AIs appear brandishing shoes, coat-hangers, ties, guns, and plastic eyeballs.
Alexia: "..."
Glyph: [Hop] "I've always wanted new eyes!"
Salesbot: "You, too, Dragoshi, can have O'Nally-Caine brand dentures!"
Julian: "..." *Julian brushes them off and enters the mall.*
Alexia: "Why am I still surprised after all this time?" *just heads into the mall.*
Salesbot2: "Coathangers r' us! Ten-thousand percent less radioactive plutonium than the next competitor!"
Dragoshi: "...Do I even want to know why anyone would sell plastic eyeballs?" *Brushes them off and follows Julian.*
Salesbot3: "Buy ice cream headphones NOW!"
Metal Man (GM): They appear used to being ignored.
Dragoshi: .oO(...Ice cream headphones? Is E Li Three nearby or something?)
Douglas: "What would happen if we destroyed them instead?"
Julian: "You'd have to pay for damages."
Douglas frowns.
Metal Man (GM): The Questers see the first store. It's a ring store. Rings of all sizes and shapes here. Diamond, plastic, purple, green, even ones made of... water?
Glyph: *Hop pops his head into the ring store.*
Metal Man (GM): Fire... electric... evil... good... even one made of tiny coins enchanted to go in a ring-circle. There's one with a clock on it too.
Julian: *Julian walks past it. His current outfit is incompatible with rings.*
Alexia continues on.
Dragoshi: *Continues on as he already has a ring--Portalman's.*
Douglas: "Rings of Fire?..."
Glyph: [Hop] "If I collect 100 will I get an extra life?"
Metal Man (GM): Hop would see more rings than there are usually in a Sonic game.
Ring Salesbot: "Yes! Buy 100 for 100,000 thousand coins and get another life now!"
Glyph: [Hop] "I'd rather keep the coins and get an extra life that way..."
Ring Salesbot: "We even have an easy loan form you can sign right now! No credit checking! We don't even check to see if you exist! You pay in 10,000 years!"
Glyph: [Hop] "Sorry, I think I might end up living that long." *Hop wanders off looking for a coin store.*
Metal Man (GM): Meanwhile, the others would encounter the next row of stores.
Douglas whistles as he walks.
Metal Man (GM): One with a bunch of strange books in it... Another with computers... One with cybernetic attachments--"We do walk-ins." A pharmacy... a grocery store...
Douglas shudders.
Metal Man (GM): A clothes store...
Glyph: *Hop runs on after the others... he doesn't like being alone.*
Metal Man (GM): There's also, for some odd reason, a machinegun store.
Douglas peeks into the cybernetic attachments store. "The Man?"
Metal Man (GM): Its main product is machineguns with pistols mounted on them.
Glyph: [Hop] "Hey! Hey! Let's stop here!"
Metal Man (GM): No 'The Man' in there.
Dragoshi: "...Pistol-mounted machineguns?" o_o;;
Glyph: [Hop] "Guys! It's a machinegun store!"
Douglas: "The ...anyone?"
Alexia walks over to the bookstore and looks around.
Metal Man (GM): A man with eight-robotic arms, three robotic eyes (two real), and three tongues speaks in an electronic voice from the cybernetics store.
???: "The Man? That's not a real name!"
Douglas: "I agree..."
Dragoshi: "Okay, this I gotta see." *Walks on over to the machinegun store.*
Julian: *Julian checks out the clothes store.*
Glyph: [Hop] "Do you guys have Vendetta attachments?"
Douglas scratches his head. "Ok... well bye." *leaves quickly.*
Glyph: [Hop] "I am told it is the Cadillac of machineguns."
Douglas enters the bookstore.
Glyph: [Hop] "So no tradesies."
Metal Man (GM): I go one at a time, starting with the Machinegun store. The man at the machinegun store looks at the gun oddly.
Shopman: "What's a Vendetta in the first place? I've only heard fairy tales about them."
Glyph: [Hop] "Dr. Robotnik is making them on assembly lines now! You should talk to him about it... he knows more than I do."
Dragoshi: *Boredly looking at his own Vendetta Machinegun.*
Glyph: [Hop] "I think I have his number here somewhere..."
Shopman: "Hm..." He shrugs. "Could you tell me what it does, so I don't assume? I mean, laser machineguns? Nanite laser machineguns? That's unbelievable."
Glyph: *Hop hands it over.* "But give it back, it was a gift."
Metal Man (GM): He looks it over, and takes off a panel... and stares.
Dragoshi: "...Impressed?" *Smirks.*
Shopman: "Well... it's the real thing." He hands it back. "...It's hard to improve on technology beyond our own, but we do specialize in sights, pistol-mounts, and range increasers."
Glyph: [Hop] "I don't know what any of those are but if you like it I bet I can get you some yourself. Mr. Helldusk, you have a phone dealy, right? So you could call the Doctor?"
Dragoshi: "..." *Pulls out his Dex.* >_>
Glyph: *Hop begins pressing buttons on it trying to get Robotnik on the line.*
Dragoshi: *To the Shopman.* "...Hmm, could you do anything to this...?" *Pulls out his own Vendetta Machinegun... Assault rifle... whatever, and hands it over to him.*
Shopman: "...It's inferior to the other guy's gun. Maybe you should get him to help you get one of his. I'm sorry, but there are sort of out of my range... you have... legendary death-weapons for your normal weaponry."
Dragoshi: "...Well, this is the original, so that would make sense." *Puts it away.* "The whole legendary death-weapon thing, I mean. ...Sadly, I believe there's nothing I can really buy here, considering... Good day." *Bows, and decides to check out the Library.*
Shopman: "The only thing I have that could..." *Stares at Hop as he dials the number for armless robots anonymous.*
Dex: "Beep."
Armlessrobot: "Welcome to armless robots anonymous. Have you lost your arms and your identity today?"
Glyph: [Hop] "Uhm. What? Is this Dr. Robotnik?"
Armlessrobot: "...Dr. Robotnik? Dr. Robotnik is the fiend who keeps on sending robots into situations where they lose their arms!"
Glyph: [Hop] "Oh. Sorry. Wrong number."
Armlessrobot: "You should see the pirate robots you get here. 'Arr, some blue hedgehog stole our arms!'"
Glyph: *Hop clicks it shut.*
Shopman: "Uh... anyway. I have one thing, but it's incredibly expensive."
Glyph: *Hop then runs off to the library immediately to give the dex back to Dragoshi.*
Metal Man (GM): *But now Julian is in the clothes store.* Julian enters the clothes store, and sees the latest fashions. Plastic sleeves, extremely long shirts with no sleeves... top hats with no brims... Square shoes made of aluminum? He also sees gloves with no fingers, and fingers of gloves that one puts on one at a time.
Julian: "...These suckas are like school in summertime. No class." *Keeps looking, hoping he'll stumble onto something that isn't completely retarded...*
Metal Man (GM): Strangely, there are a few non-horrible fashions here. A few normal scarves that appear to glow magically, socks which appear to be everything-proof, and a boomerang masquerading as a comb.
Julian: *Let's check out those scarves...*
Metal Man (GM): Checking out the scarves... They're elemental varieties, too, however there's more! There's got some scarves of protection rather than energy-controlling. Scarves that protect from curses, hexes... acid... And a final, odd one. 'Protection from Self-immolation.' It's orange.
Julian: "...Protection from setting myself on fire. Yeah, that's reaaaal helpful..." *Julian's going to take awhile.*
Metal Man (GM): Meanwhile in Douglas-land--err, the Library. Douglas enters the bookstore. It's full of ancient spellbooks. Different types... Astral, X-zone, Terrestrial, and also one in all-unreadable text. The man wearing casual clothes watches Douglas as he looks through.
Douglas: .oO(Heaven... I'm in heave--) "Hi. Could you explain to me these different schools of spells? What exactly is an Astral, X-zone, or Terrestrial spell?"
Man: "Oh, they're based upon the various energies present in this world. Each energy type has its own school."
Metal Man (GM): Douglas finds the 'Magikarp' spellbook. Yup. 'Tome of Magikarp' It's a discount... at 99,000 coins!
Douglas: "What does this do?..." *pokes the tome of Magikarp.*
Man: "Ah! You have found the ultimate magick tome! It allows you to master the forbidden art of... Splash. You can send fear into all your enemies if you master Splash."
Douglas: "...Forbidden?" *twinkle.*
Man: "Yes! Forbidden. Even the name Magikarp is banned, because supposedly it is too powerful to control. I sneaked it in here with a ship full of old radios."
Douglas: "Wow! What does this... 'Splash' do exactly?" *appears totally interested, as if he was James on the S.S. Anne episode.*
Man: "It sends terror into your enemy. You show that you are so powerful, that by flailing around, they will crumble to dust. Used properly, you can destroy anything!"
Douglas: "Gad-zooks! I'll keep an eye on it... but first, do you have any wind magic here?"
Man: "Ah... the wimpy tome of Wind is an easy buy at 50,000 coins. But who needs the ability to summon tornadoes when they can... splash!"
Douglas: "Me..? What of these X-zone tomes?"
Man: "No, sir. Wind is obsolete before the awesome power of splash..."
Metal Man (GM): He glances at the X-zone tomes. He seems almost afraid of them.
Man: "They are even more powerful than Splash! But... incredibly dangerous. The power to summon shoes may be beyond your mental powers."
Douglas laughs. "SHOE!"
Metal Man (GM): He flinches for a moment.
Douglas: "I can do it in the X-zone... with this book, I can learn to use it here??"
Man: "So you are one of the forbidden ones... but it costs very much! 300,000 coins! Splash... is only 99,000."
Douglas grabs the X-zone Shoe tome. "I'll take them all!"
Man: "Excellent!"
Metal Man (GM): He dumps the Splash and Wind tome with the X-zone one.
Man: "Now... let's see... 449,000 coins, sir!"
Douglas gives him 450,000 coins. "A tip!"
Metal Man (GM): He nods and pockets it.
Douglas: "So I gotta study these books and then I'll be able to do these abilities?"
Man: "Yes. It should only take a small bit of time to learn each book!"
Douglas: "Ok! Thanks! I'll refer a friend!" *waves, smiles, and walks out excitedly.*
Metal Man (GM): Also in this mall, there's a car dealership, a charm store, and also a store full of swords. Pointy swords.
Dragoshi: *...Dragoshi was heading on over to the strange books store...*
Douglas: *Grocery Store, then.*
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi enters the bookstore. He'd see the shop manager putting away a massive pile of coins.
Dragoshi: "...Yo." *Decides to search around...*
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi finds 'The Tome of Insanity.' It is prismatically colored and looks vaguely tasty.
Dragoshi: *Looks at it.* "Hey... What's up with this? ...And why the heck does it look like it'd taste good?" >_>;;
Man: "Ah... the tome of insanity. It is powerful, but it drives the reader totally insane."
Dragoshi: "Does the power outweigh the insanity?" >_>;;
Man: "Yes! It costs... hm... I'll mark it down just for you... 500,000 coins."
Dragoshi: "...No thanks. ...What else is there?"
Man: "Tomes of abundant wisdom everywhere you look. All elements, topics, and more!"
Dragoshi: *Searches for ones along the lines of bees.( >_>
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi finds 'The Gospel according to Killer Bees.' Bzz bzz bzz. Bzzzzz bzzz bzzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It's a bit hard to read.
Dragoshi: "...Why is this even here?"
Metal Man (GM): There's pictures of bees dancing on it too. Hop's there too, then.
Man: "I dunno. I stock anything."
Glyph: *Hop holds out Dragoshi's dex... he snatched it in the confusion and used it to dial, well, "Dr. Robotnik."*
Dragoshi: *Takes the Dex back.* "Thank you."
Glyph: *Hop begins looking for a book on robotics.*
Dragoshi: *Looks for tomes of Shadar slaying around...*
Metal Man (GM): Nope. Hop finds... 'Tome of Disease.'
Glyph: [Hop] "I'd pick it up and look inside, but even I think that would be a bad idea..."
Man: "Eh, that's harmless. Now this... THIS is dangerous."
Metal Man (GM): He picks up a tome. 'Tome of Sardis Mongul.'
Dragoshi: "...Yea. Let's just leave before we find a book that transports us to a time that everything is on fire. Or bees. or Eterna-..."
Man: "A few words from this, and time itself will be damaged if you're not careful."
Glyph: [Hop] "...I want that one!"
Dragoshi: "...Wow."
Glyph: [Hop] "What do I have to do to get that book?"
Man: "Not for any normal buyers! ...For special, 2-million coin-buyers!"
Dragoshi: "...damn. Even my bank account doesn't have that much money." @_@
Glyph: *Hop thinks for a moment.* "I don't... I don't really understand how coins work. Is there anything else I could do?"
Man: "Is there anything of equivalent power you have?"
Glyph: *Hop checks himself... he has a Vendetta machine gun, and a couple things built out of paper clips.* "Unless this is a two million coin machine gun... No, I don't think I do..."
Man: "It can't really do this." He reads from the book. "Ixnac Degull!"
Metal Man (GM): An entire bookcase warps out of this time continuum.
Glyph: *Hop looks discouraged.* "...then I'll collect things, I'll build things, I'll find things, and I'll sell things. And then I'll buy that book!" *Hop looks strangely determined.*
Man: "Okay then..." He sits there. "Anything else?"
Glyph: *Hop shakes his head.* "I think I've found the only thing I want to buy today. And I will... eventually."
Dragoshi: "...Huh." *Checks out that charm store...*
Metal Man (GM): Douglas enters the grocery store. Within, he would find a variety of foods. Vegetables, fruit, meat, all the traditional food one would find on Earth.
Douglas: "Hmmmmmm!" *looks for Club Soda and Flavoring and Crushed Ice.*
Metal Man (GM): Douglas finds just that. Weird containers, weird ingredients, same thing.
Douglas grabs French Vanilla flavoring, and Watermelon Flavoring.
Metal Man (GM): Dogulas finds such... it's cheap, too, only a total of 50 coins for all of it.
Douglas buys cups, too.
Metal Man (GM): 10 coins for 50 o' those.
Douglas goes to the cash register.
Metal Man (GM): The old man at the register sees what Douglas has bought and types in some things.
Douglas smiles and presents 60 coins... when asked.
Metal Man (GM): He does ask for them, and takes them, smiling back and giving Douglas a receipt.
Douglas: *Time to go.* *waves and leaves the grocery store... then looks back in the mall's hallway for a bench or resting spot.*
Metal Man (GM): Douglas sees one, right by a fountain of magical energy.
Douglas sits at it, and then proceeds on brewing his .. things. He fills a cup 3/4ths full with crushed ice, then fills it with some club soda, and puts several drops of Watermelon flavoring in it... he stirs a lot with his finger... forgetting to buy something to stir with... et voila! Italian Soda, Watermelon flavor.
Metal Man (GM): Meanwhile, again, Dragoshi enters the charm store. Weird stuff everywhere as doorknobs, rabbit's feet, noses... Cue balls... The person who runs it wears a white top hat and upside-down glasses. He chuckles when he sees Dragoshi come in.
Dragoshi: *Looks for 9-balls.*
Metal Man (GM): 9-balls? Yup. At least three of them.
Dragoshi: "...Hmm, what kind of charm would these-" *Points at the 9-balls.* "Qualify as?"
Shopkeep: "Ah, the 9-ball. A luck charm used to improve destructive powers."
Dragoshi: "...How much does it cost?" >_>
Shopkeep: "9999 coins." He gives a cheesy smile."
Dragoshi: "Sounds good." *slides out 9999 coins, and hands them over to the Shopkeep.*
Metal Man (GM): He takes them, then hands Dragoshi a 9-ball.
Dragoshi: *Takes said 9-ball.* *Decides to check out the computer store...*
Metal Man (GM): Computer store it is. Dragoshi enters the store, finding there to be... not traditional computers, but rather inter-locking circuit cubes.
Douglas goes too. He sips his Italian soda.
Metal Man (GM): They advertise many different capacities, and they come in portable and fixed versions. Some one can wear, some take cranes just to move.
Douglas: "What do these do?"
Dragoshi: *Checks what kind of wearable ones are there...*
Metal Man (GM): The shopkeeper, a robot, turns to the Questers.
Sho-bot: "These solve large math problems, crack encryption, and play music. Do you need anything in particular?" *Beep.*
Douglas shakes his head.
Dragoshi: *Shakes head as well.*
Metal Man (GM): There are also some 'Replacement processors' too, which might work with the dexes.
Dragoshi: *Compares those with the dex's processor.*
Metal Man (GM): They're much faster. Oak's processors are old-school.
Douglas: "How much for those?"
Dragoshi: "How much would those processors cost?"
Sho-bot: "10,000 a piece."
Douglas: I'll take one." ^.^
Dragoshi: *Shells out 10k.* "As will I."
Metal Man (GM): He nods and gives each of the two people before him a processor.
Douglas replaces it now..
Dragoshi: *Does the same...*
Darkdata looks in the grocery store!
Dragoshi: *Decides to check out that there grocery store as well.* >_>
Alexia looks around a bit, then heads to the charm store.
Douglas: "Go pick me up some whip cream, Dragoshi."
Dragoshi: "...'K."
Metal Man (GM): Charm store: The weird man with the clothes sits there as Alexia enters the store. There's stuff like rabbit's feet, four-leafed clovers, strange symbols on strings...
Alexia: "..." *just steps back out. Slowly. Then checks the Pharmacy.*
Metal Man (GM): Pharmacy... Alexia sees a bunch of pill bottles everywhere. Apparently, remedies to nearly everything, including "Bling-itis." Sterilized golden dollar sign symbols in bags... hmmm... The old man wearing shades watches Alexia. The store is fairly empty.
Alexia blinks in surprise again. She heads out again. Geez, this place is nuts. She checks, uh... the Grocery store.*
Metal Man (GM): In the Grocery store, there's all the kinds of food items one could want. It's reminiscent of one on Earth.
Alexia: "...Hey, finally something that makes sense."
Darkdata picks up chili peppers, and goes for the spice section.
Metal Man (GM): Many different spices. All the ones a person can think of, plus odd ones like Thyme, Tumuric, and Lemongrass.
Dragoshi: *And, there is... A Dragoshi! It's gathering stuff. Whipped cream, a bowl, half a pound of hamburger meat, and a jar of spaghetti sauce. Oh, and he decides to go get a box of elbow macaroni.* >_>
Alexia: "Then again, the only store that makes any sense here is kind of dull..."
Darkdata picks five at random and heads to the checkout.
Alexia heads out and walks to the ring store, just for the heck of it.
Dragoshi: *Then, he goes and gets some grated parmesan and heads on over to the checkout.*
Checkout Person: "That will be 1500 coins." At least, that's the one in the line Darkdata goes to says.
Metal Man (GM): The one in Dragoshi's charges 2000 coins.
Darkdata pays for it.
Dragoshi: *Pays for his as well.* <_>
Metal Man (GM): Alexia enters the ring shop. There's lotsa rings, all different elements and materials.
Darkdata goes to the ring shop also.
Dragoshi: *Ker-follow!*
Darkdata looks for a note stone, or a amp stone.
Alexia looks around for any green rings.
Metal Man (GM): Darkdata finds a ring with a blue note engraved on it. It 'Amplifies the range of music.' Alexia finds several green ones.
Darkdata: "How much?"
Shopkeeper: "65,000."
Metal Man (GM): There is a green $ sign ring, green emerald ring, even a ring with 'Green' written on it... And a ring made of green energy. And a ring with plants growing on it.
Alexia looks at that plant ring. "What the..."
Darkdata: "I'll take it!"
Shopkeeper: "Sold, then." He takes the money and you get the ring.
Darkdata puts it on.
Alexia: "I have a feeling I'm kinda out of my league here..." *looks at the one made of energy.*
Dragoshi: *Looks around for any... Interesting, yet not too pricey rings.*
Darkdata looks for one more ring, one that could be useful in trickery.
Metal Man (GM): Green Energy: It seems to cause all the colors of whoever wears it to take on a green tint. Very popular on St. Patrick's day.
Alexia: "Bizarre..."
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi finds nothing in specific; too vague a search.
Alexia looks for any rings at or under 20k.
Metal Man (GM): Darkdata find a ring that appears to phase in and out of existence.
Darkdata: "Sir, what does this one do?"
Shopkeeper: "Once per day, you can make something temporarily teleport into another dimension. It comes in handy with stealing things... just not here!"
Darkdata: "Cost?"
Metal Man (GM): Alexia find herself a bit swamped. Mostly with rings that change one's color, hairstyle, allow one to breathe fire, and a special one on sale that allows one to gain an aura of fire.
Shopkeeper: "That one'll set you back. 100,000 coins."
Alexia looks at that aura one...
Darkdata: "Hmm, do you have anything that allows you to temporarily change your appearance and voice into another person? If not, I will take the pricey Ring."
Shopkeeper: "Most of ours are pre-set..." Darkdata see rings that changes appearance and voice into a variety of stereotypes, or switch around one's own. "Size changer Shape changer Gender bender Shoe Size Modifier Species Changer" It goes on and on... there's too many of these, almost.
Dragoshi: "How much for the Species Changer?" >_>
Shopkeeper: "These are our most expensive rings, coincidentally... 600,000 coins. That ring changes the most of any of them, after all."
Dragoshi: "...Huh. Makes sense."
Metal Man (GM): The fire aura one. A golden ring which glows red.
Dragoshi: "Do you take payment from one's bank accounts 5 days in advance?"
Metal Man (GM): It claims to protect one from all fire attacks with a fiery aura... now only 19,999!
Darkdata: "The temp dimension one returns the item to me when it returns from the dimension?"
Alexia keeps looking.
Shopkeeper: "Yes, bard, and... no. The last person who tried that on us wound up sending us 500,000 erasers. Supposedly they're currency in his 'dimension.'"
Dragoshi: "...Damn. ...Who was the guy that did that, anyway?" >_>;;
Darkdata: "Hmm, useful."
Alexia: "Probably E Li..."
Darkdata: "I will take it!"
Shopkeeper: "Like I'd tell you... and, okay." He takes the money for the dimension ring, which is now Darkdata's.
Dragoshi: "...of course." *Eyeroll.*
Alexia continues browsing the under-20k rings, no changing ones. "...I wish Julian had paid me back for what I chipped in for that last thing."
Dragoshi: *Looks for any rings that enhance one's physical strength...* >_>
Darkdata gives Deloth the last of his money (6400) "Here, I don't mind."
Alexia: "Hey, thanks, Dark!"
Metal Man (GM): No rings for strength, and meanwhile Alexia would be looking through more color-changing, hair-changing rings... oh. And a ring which has a dragon image on it. It has no label, and for some reason is only 10,000 coins.
Alexia: "...What's this one?"
Shopkeeper: "Beats me. Found it one day, don't know what it does."
Alexia: "...Huh. I'll take it." *plunks down 10,000 onto the counter.*
Dragoshi: *...Looks for various kinds o' purple rings.* >_>
Metal Man (GM): There are mostly purple-glowing aura rings, and... not much else.
Dragoshi: *He then pokes one of the purple-glowing aura rings.* "Hey, what do these do?"
Alexia: "...I'll wait until we head out of here." *slips the ring into her pocket.*
Shopkeeper: "Make you glow purple."
Dragoshi: "...How useless." *Walks out.*
Alexia absently takes the ring out of her pocket and looks it over as she walks out of the store. "Definitely a weird place..."
Darkdata: "Quite."
Alexia: "...I think I just had an idea for testing this ring when we get back onto the Seeker."
Metal Man (GM): Anyway... warpout appears, and... +10,000 coins. Mission Completed.
Douglas: *Brews Italian Sodas for EvErYoNe!! :D*
Darkdata: "Hmm." *Pours the psycho drink from his container into a bowl.*

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