Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 367: Crazy Cannon Capers

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Date: 4:48:06 PM, December 20th to 11:14:32 PM, December 20th, 2006.

Metal Man (GM): Der Locos Sesshion
Location: Eisnaught. The top half of the city is still burning, and the news blares about some sort of "Magellean Military attack."
People run around screaming, some on fire.

Maester Magellean looks up to sky after getting off the hard cement. The black being looks for the Lunarian Moon, yet sees nothing.

Metal Man (GM): As you land... you see a familiar figure grinning amongst the flames. He trips up a screaming person and walks to face you... Doopliss.

Doopliss: "Funny... if you weren't Charles... then why are you looking at the moon, Slick? You know, it got thrown out of place by the Questers. We're trying to stop them, but... look what they did with our cannon."

Maester Magellean: .oO(Mm-hmm. 'Fraid that happened. I can't transmutate anything without at least the light of that moon shining on me.)

Doopliss: "By the way, I have a present for you." *He reaches out and crushes an old Grunty-rank badge from one of his pockets.*

Maester Magellean turns its body toward the direction of the ghost.

Doopliss: "The Magellean Empire is poised to rise again. We need the real Charles to eliminate those who would seek to abuse our name. Would you know where he is?"

Maester Magellean: "In truth, the hybrid is no longer among the living."

Doopliss: "But if he were undead, he would still serve a purpose... just like me." *He points to his sheet and appearance.* "In fact, it may give him a greater purpose. I was merely an insurance agent in my life."

Maester Magellean: "To serve a purpose. His role in this world is done."
"He exists no more."

Doopliss: "Very well... Charles Majellian exists no more... I'll just have to ask Vladimir Va'ruska to replace him."

Maester Magellean has its body flicker, transforming that into of a 10 foot-sized gnat.

Doopliss: "I have leads on an arm of Lumis Dongthar, too. Zemus could even help, chained perhaps." *He puts a hand to his chin* "You can do a lot of things, too. Perhaps you could take his place."

Gnat (with mouth): "As I've said before, I'm not interested in what happens to this world. I only wish amusement while I'm here."

Maester Magellean body flickers and transforms into a bad-recoloring of Doopliss; red sheets, a captain's hat, and a polka-dotted necktie.

Doopliss: "Whatever you saaaay..." *He cradles an unknown object for a few moments* "I'll find some way to crack this enigma..." *He nods, and also chuckles at the bad copy.*

Red Doopliss: "I enjoy most all things in life, though if I were really hit by that which hit here earlier, I'd be coughing up black smoke for some time. What I don't understand is... why do you pollute a legacy?"

Doopliss: "This is the legacy; Charles hated this world, but was trapped here. Therefore, to help remove the source of his pain, living or dead, all must be made agreeable to him."
*He holds his head, sadly* "I doublecrossed him while he was alive, and never got to make it up to him... the only thing left is to atone by removing the source of my mistakes."

Metal Man (GM): He scatters the broken WACKO badge into the streets, and begins to wander away, into the flames (which don't seem to hurt him... much)

Red Doopliss: "Start by dropping out of that poor excuse of his legacy. He was a failure in life, and so is anything that carries on his name."

Metal Man (GM): He stops for a moment.

Maester Magellean flickers back into his shadow being with the white shadow.

Doopliss: "There won't be anyone left to say that when we're done." *He then leaves.*

Metal Man (GM): People continue running around; some specifically running from Doopliss. Buildings fall over, and policemen can only escort people to shelters.

Maester Magellean looks to the sky. "Seems I've found my purpose to this realm. Rid the remnants of the profane that my Nobody created."
He looks to the crowds in the street. "...But first..."
He heads for the nearest alleyway.

Metal Man (GM): There's several people hiding in here, from the fire.

Maester Magellean: "..." *He backs off from the alleyway and heads into the nearest building.*

Metal Man (GM): Inside the building is a basic office setting. Some people are sitting in chairs.

Maester Magellean rubs its hands together. The body flickers once more, but the amount of pyreflies that requires this transformation is more than usual. The body disperses, and in its place...
*The yellow legs and yellow feet of the new transformed body have several silver claws. Its arms the same as its legs. It grows a tail that looks like it was sliced in several parts of it. For the head, four sets of red eyes open with a large mouth that has silver teeth. Its body is covered in a hard and light grey exoskeleton, its chest of muscles glows blue.*
*The form that Maester has taken on is, *(and pardon any and all inaccuracies in the description)*, the form of an Omega Metroid.*

Omega Metroid: "RREEEAHHHYEEA RREEEEAHHHYEEAHHH!!"
*Firing several fireballs towards the entrance of the building, it hovers a few inches of the ground and slowly maneuvers itself out the new entrance of the building.*

Metal Man (GM): The people run around screaming. Some yell "Ahhhhhh!!! The Magellean Military!"
The building catches on fire and burns, although the people simply run away.

Omega Metroid: "RREEEEEAAAHHHYEEAA RREEEEAHHHYEEAHHH!!"
*It lands on the ground and begins to slowly walk towards the people of Eisnaught.*
.oO(Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh! This is carefree fun, THAT'S for sure!)

Metal Man (GM): They run away screaming, for the Omega Metroid is mildly known through stories. There are no police to be seen, oddly.
And from here, we fade out....
Anyway, time to start.
3 4292 92 92 293 23 9
El Missiono
The Questers are, for the billionth time, in the Big Room. Only now there is some massive machine being built out in the hallway.

Metal Man: "Greetings, Questers. Today we have an... interesting set of goals."

Dragoshi: "And, they are...?"

Julian Sawyer's in his usual chair "Lucky us. And they be..."

Fizban: "What are those, Man of Metal?"

Metal Man: "I will allow Robotnik to introduce it."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: *Walks in* "Greetings, Questers. I have noticed a huge accumulation of death rays, lightning rods, and other brickabrack lately. Well, now the Questers will not be alone in this respect!"

Dragoshi: "...Zuh?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Building a massive ray of our own, it is planned to utterly destroy any other weapon of mass destruction when it fires, as well as to allow your goal of total world domi---I mean peace to be a reality! ...Although the technology behind it is strange to me, as... Dr. Light will explain."

Fizban: "A sort of interception mechanism?"

Metal Man (GM): Dr. Light walks in, from working on the cannon.

The Wraith: The ghost looks rather puzzled. .oO(...IVO? Damn, things really did turn upside-down.)

Dragoshi: .oO(Oh, this oughtta be good.)

Scott Gibson: "A cannon?"

Dr. Light: "We took the X-zone beam's specifications and reverse-engineered it to create a beam of order, capable of disabling the sort of power sources common to these weapons, and causing the weapons themselves to explode."

Scott Gibson finally walks in still a bit taken aback from his experience last time.

Dr. Light: "This can also close interdimensional gates, and should we be under attack by ships like the one Garrick used against IIF forces, can basically shut them down in one hit."

Scott Gibson: "Looks like I actually did good this time by recovering those plans."

Dr. Light: "Which is good, because we have discovered some very, very bad things."

Dragoshi: "Such as...?"

Metal Man (GM): He brings up a monitor, showing the Magellean Military equipping MAC guns and the like onto an outpost.

Dr. Light: "They appear to have stolen that technology and are currently building it up as we speak."

Scott Gibson: "Whoa..."

Dr. Light: "We also got wind of this."

Metal Man (GM): Another screen shows an Omega Metroid terrorizing Eisnaught.

Dr. Light: "Needless to say, they also have managed to begin experiments with some of the more... dangerous technology."

Dragoshi: "...Is that what I think it is? Or am I just hallucinating?"

Metal Man (GM): A big graph appears, showing a massive surge of some kind.

Dr. Light: "This is clearly interdimensional travel. Whatever used it exploded in the process, but it mimicked the successful teleportation of Garrick's ship."

Leo Crayson quietly enters the big room and takes a seat.

Dr. Light: "They have also... ...flooded various areas with troops. Only Eisnaught and Toad Town have regained peaceful status; Hyrule as well, thanks to Link."

Scott Gibson casts a quick glance to the new guy.

Leo Crayson takes a quick look at everyone.

The Wraith: *The phantom glances over his shoulder and waves at the new guy.*

Dr. Light: "...Your goals are many, of course. Dr. Wily's robots still prowl; that outpost is also highly dangerous, and near the Arctic Wastes."

Leo Crayson: .oO(...0_0 A ghost?!)

The Wraith: *He chuckles upon seeing Leo's expression, but returns his attention to the speaker.*

Leo Crayson: .oO(What the hell is this place?)

Editor's Note: 20+ years later, I sometimes wonder the same thing. *Rimshot*

Alexia ducks into the Big Room
"Sorry I'm late. Who's the new guy?"

Julian Sawyer ... fell asleep. Lazy bastard.

Alexia also is wearing a black shirt and jeans instead of her usual clothes.

Scott Gibson: "Obviously a new guy. What's with the new digs?"

Fizban: *Is calmly watching, remaining silent, just listening to the whole situation and merely making to follow the others in where ever they decide to go.*

Alexia: "...Memorial to the lives lost."
*She bows her head.*

Scott Gibson: .oO(Not that I'm one to talk, switching outfits.)

Dr. Light: "The Omega Metroid in Eisnaught poses a problem as well as..."

Scott Gibson: "...Yeah, I coulda lived without remembering that."

Leo Crayson: "Omega... what?"

Dr. Light: "...An incoming force of backup for the Magellean Military."

Scott Gibson: "Metroid."

Dr. Light: "We also need materials for the cannon. It is up to you which course you pursue."

The Wraith: "Decisions, decisions..." *He stroked his chin.*

Fizban: "And quite a few of them, to be sure."

Scott Gibson: "I say we get rid of any reinforcements that could put a pike in our asses. Then we can concentrate on the cannon."

Alexia: "We need to take out the Military's forces NOW."

The Wraith: "And how about that monster running amok in Eisnaught?"

Scott Gibson: "Like there's much left after I blew it up."
*He seems a bit more sarcastic and hostile than usual.*

Alexia: "...Scott, what's wrong?"

Metal Man: "For your information, if we get the cannon working, it can shoot them down."

Scott Gibson: "..."

The Wraith: "Alright. So, cannon gets built, army goes boom, yes?"

Dragoshi: "...I say we get materials."

Metal Man: "The biggest danger is the MAC guns over on the outpost besides that. Destroying it may give us time... or perhaps we can steal the cannons."

Scott Gibson crosses his arms defiantly and sighs. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's blow em' up. Like always."

The Wraith: "What are MAC guns, exactly? Rather, what's their damage potential?"

Julian Sawyer: "Zzz..."

Leo Crayson nervously glances throughout the room.

Scott Gibson: "Magnetic Accelerator Cannons, John. Garrick lemme have a peek at em. Pretty hardcore shit."

The Wraith: "I see..." *He glances to the left.* "...Hey, Julie! Wake up!"

Scott Gibson: "Yep, Imagine a cannon shell the size of a Volkswagen comin' at you."

The Wraith: "Oversized railguns, then? Fun stuff."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "However, this new laser cannon makes those look like a joke!"

Dragoshi: "..." .oO(...Julie? That's a new one) "...That sounds... Really damn painful."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "This... the original ripped a massive hole in reality! This one closes holes even faster."

Leo Crayson: "Damn..."

Scott Gibson: "Good to know. I say we move out asap."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "...Of course, stealing those could increase our power alongside the ray. Perhaps you get the parts for the ray, then we steal those guns."

Scott Gibson: "Right, right... steal cannons, get parts for ray, blow shit up. We get it."

Dragoshi: "Yes... That we could."

Julian Sawyer: "Zzzzsnkt." *Julian wakes up* "Huh? What'd I miss? What're we doin'?"

Alexia: "Fine. So let's GO already."

The Wraith: "Fun fun. Hmm... Yeah, that sounds about right."
*He looks to Julian again.* "We're gonna gather resources to build a really big gun."

Metal Man: "Okay, so, you want the parts. That's the difficult part. These things are... well. Either really expensive or rare."

Scott Gibson whistles. Suddenly a familiar red blur speeds in and stops in front of Scott.

Julian Sawyer: "...How expensive?"

Roxy: *Beep!*

Metal Man: "Have you ever wondered what the value of a Kuja ship is? One of the parts is nearly 3/4 of that."

Julian Sawyer: "Daymn..."

The Wraith: "Joys and jubilation. Where we gonna get 'em?"

Metal Man: "A rare reverse-X-zone orb. The Smithy project mass-produced X-zone orbs, and intentionally destroyed as many of the reverse as possible."

Scott Gibson stands by the warp tapping a foot.

Dragoshi: "...Yikes."

Metal Man: "The process was lost when Kuja took over, who also agreed a reverse X-zone ray would be disastrous to his campaign. This leaves about three of them in existence."

Julian Sawyer: "So where they at?"

Metal Man: "Research has been... frustrating... but we found one of them."

Scott Gibson: "Then let's get to it."

Metal Man: "Sardis Mongul hid one, knowing it would be needed later. Unfortunately, Charles had his journal."

Alexia: "Scott, chill. Geez, what's with you?"

Metal Man: "So the thugs at the Magellean Military got to it all the way back in his days."

The Wraith: "...Lovely."

Scott Gibson: "I've got things on my mind."

Dragoshi: "Magnifico..."

Metal Man: "Now, luckily, it was lost when the first disbanded, but they probably are looking for it as well. Specifically, I refer to the deep, unexplored basement where the original Valhalla once stood."
"Now, Magellean Military stuff was high-tech even back when; almost par to Kuja."
"Some really OLD security systems will probably attempt to thwart you. Also, you CANNOT use explosives on this mission."
"Any large explosion will be detected by the MM, and then they will attack you. If you can drive them off it won't matter... but I don't think you can do that."
"Also, Radio silence is a must."

Scott Gibson: "Fine... For curiosity's sake you mind explaining that? Radio silence... right."

Alexia: "No dexes, no dynamite. Got it."

Leo Crayson: "Sounds good."

Julian Sawyer: "Sounds easy enough... an' who's the new guy?"

Metal Man: "The other parts are a bit less expensive. Dave at Port Destiny can hand you them... for a price. Finally, you need the main death ray of the Egg Carrier."

Scott Gibson: "No explosives but we can use that?"

Metal Man: "When Garrick redid the Dauntless, he left behind some old, 'obsolete' parts."

Dragoshi: "...?"

Metal Man: "Unfortunately our infinitely clumsy Mack managed to get them lost in a storage facility underground. That will be your final part of the mission."

Scott Gibson rubs his temple and shakes his head. .oO(I can't believe this.)

Metal Man: "The main deathray is one of the deadliest weapons, as it can charge indefinitely."

Julian Sawyer: "So we gotta get past some security systems, go shoppin', then go underground. Easy."

Metal Man: "Indeed. And if you feel like it, Dave has all the black market things you could want. Magitek Weapons, Badges, Cubes... you name it."

Dragoshi: "...Fun."

Leo Crayson: "...Nice."

Metal Man: "My car is almost 75% made up of his stuff... but... it was a bit of a pricey affair." *Holds out his near-empty wallet*
"So, good luck, and be careful."
*He sets the warp on.*

Julian Sawyer: "Let's ride!" *Julian heads into the warp.*

Scott Gibson: "So when can I get started on my mission?"

Dragoshi: "...Yes. Let's." *To el warpo!*

Leo Crayson walks over to the warp.

Metal Man: "Diolize's moon is still lost in the asteroid cluster. It will take a little bit more before it comes into range."

Scott Gibson: "ETA?"

Metal Man: "About (2-3 missions from now) days."

The Wraith: "Tally-ho." *He drifts toward the warp, stopping midway.* "...What's the target artifact look like?"

Alexia enters the warp.

Metal Man: "A white sphere which glows with holy energy."

Scott Gibson: "Good enough. Thanks again, Metal." *Scott then turns, claps Metal on the shoulder, and heads into the warp with Roxy behind.*

Metal Man: "You can't miss it, as it's probably on a shiny pedestal. ...A trapped one."

The Wraith: "Funzies." *He proceeds on through the warp.*

Metal Man (GM): Warpwarpwarp
You appear at the base of some mysterious ruins; the only real indication something was here is a square-shaped indentation full of different-colored dirt from the normal kind.
Gonna need to dig a little.

Scott Gibson: "Now that we're on mission ground... Newbie, what's your specialty?"

Leo Crayson: "Magic."

Julian Sawyer: "Seriously, who is he?"

Scott Gibson waggles a finger..."Keep goin'."

Alexia: "...Er, did anyone bring a shovel?"

Leo Crayson follows after Scott.
"By the way, my name is Leo. What's your names?"

Scott Gibson: "Excuse me for being on a short fuse but I tend to be a bit testy after causing about ten thousand deaths, the destruction of two cities, and my friend and bandmate getting slung halfway across the galaxy."

Alexia: "Alexia. Now, about that shovel."

Leo Crayson: "Sorry, I don't have one."

Julian Sawyer: "Can't you psychic the dirt away or somethin'?"

Scott Gibson: "Name's Scott. Scott Gibson. Like I said, 'scuse my temper right now. I'm usually a pretty easy goin' guy."

Alexia: "I could try."

Leo Crayson: "Ok, nice to meet ya."

Scott Gibson: "Anyway... shovel..."

Julian Sawyer: "I'm Julian, by the way. Last name's Sawyer. Mess with me an' I can't be held responsible for anythin' that happens to ya'."

Leo Crayson: "O... K."

The Wraith: "Th'name's John, though lately many have called me The Wraith... or similar." *He looks to the dirt square, and rubs his chin...*

Julian Sawyer: "Hey, I'm jus' givin' you fair warnin'."

Scott Gibson: *Whispers to Leo* "In other words don't touch him, insult him, or breathe wrong in his presence. You might find your trachea missing."

Alexia: "My telekinesis is more for focusing on one object, though, so I doubt it'd be too useful."

Leo Crayson: *Whispers back* "Ok, thanks for the heads up."

The Wraith: "Well..." *He eyes around for anything that could be used as a shovel, makeshift or otherwise.*

Scott Gibson slings his guitars across his back. They shine even in the dim light. His red SG draped over his right shoulder and his pearl Moderne over his left.

Leo Crayson: "I could use my Sword as a shovel."

Alexia: "Don't dull it."

Scott Gibson: "At least you're thinking."

Leo Crayson: "Ok."

Metal Man (GM): There's only dirt and rocks here, and a few trees.

Julian Sawyer: "Don't work like that..."

Alexia kicks a foot into the dirt square, experimentally.

Leo Crayson starts to think.

The Wraith: "With that thinking, Scott's guitars would work better."

Scott Gibson: "Uhh... they're about two inches thick at the thinnest point. You've got better luck trying to dig with a lead pipe."

Leo Crayson: "What about an earthquake, that might work."

Julian Sawyer: "Shame we can't use explosives, otherwise we'd jus' blow the sand right outta the water."

Dragoshi: "...Okay, then..." .oO(...Great. Now I wish I had a shovel weapon. That would make things SO much easier.)

The Wraith: "And draw more attention than an explosion would."

Scott Gibson: "No, that may go against our explosives clause."

Leo Crayson: "Oh."

Scott Gibson: "One sec."

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm."

The Wraith: "On that note, though..." *He goes to dive under the surface, searching for any rocks or such.*

Alexia: "...I have an idea."

Dragoshi: "...Yes?"

Scott Gibson flips open his dex and wires HQ back. "Hey, Metal. We forgot to grab some shovels. Can you send us some?"

Alexia checks to see how dry the air is
"...NO DEXES!"

Leo Crayson: "Use rocks?"

Julian Sawyer: "...Scott, RADIO SILENCE!"

Metal Man (GM): The dirt flies from Alexia's foot. Wraith drives underneath and sees a perfectly buried area.

Alexia slams Scott's dex shut.

Metal Man (GM): Scott is stopped from actually transmitting anything by that.
The dirt is loosely packed.
You could try digging with your hands, or a (dig check) to work faster.

Alexia: "Are you TRYING to fail the mission?"

Leo Crayson: "...We could try digging with our hands?"

Julian Sawyer goes to dig the old fashioned way and manually removes the dirt with his hands.

Leo Crayson goes to help Julian.

Scott Gibson: "For chrissakes... Sorry, ok!"

Dragoshi: "..." *And, Drag follows suit, since, hey, why not?*

Alexia starts digging too. Hey, it's the new fad!

Scott Gibson grabs his dex off the ground and tosses it into Roxy's compartment so the others won't bitch him out anymore.

Leo Crayson: "Hey, what is that thing?" *Points to Roxy.*

Scott Gibson: "That's my scooter."

Julian Sawyer: "It flies."

Metal Man (GM): The dirt begins to be removed. You see... steps.

Roxy motors up a bit to Leo, her red paint a'gleam.

Leo Crayson: "WHA?!"

The Wraith: *While the others are scoopin' away the dirt, the ghost would be checkin' out wha the can of the buried area.*

Leo Crayson: "Wow..."

Scott Gibson: "She has a mind of her own... yes, and she flies."

Metal Man (GM): Underground is an open chamber... MM insignia everywhere, a locked door, and a red emergency lighting system still up.

Roxy feels like bragging so she hovers up above Leo's head.

Metal Man (GM): It looks... untouched.

Julian Sawyer: "'Course, only one person can use 'er at a time. MY ride, on the other hand..."

Scott Gibson: "The Emasculade?"

Leo Crayson begins to laugh at that."

Alexia bites her lip to avoid snickering.

Dragoshi: *And, Drag taps his foot impatiently.*

Julian Sawyer: "I could blow your skinny ass outta the sky with it. I wouldn't be talkin' smack if I were you."

Leo Crayson stops laughing."

Scott Gibson: "Heh... Pardon my sense of humor."

Leo Crayson: "...*Whispers to Scott* Is he always like that?"

Julian Sawyer: "What humor? All I see you doin' is insultin' a man's transportation."

Scott Gibson nods with a sarcastic look in his eye.

Metal Man (GM): Dig... dig... you eventually get through, and see the sinister white steps.
Which lead into a darkened, but accessible chamber below, with a steel, sealed door ahead.

Alexia: "Alright."

Scott Gibson: "Anyway..."

Alexia hovers down the steps.

Leo Crayson sneaks down the steps.

Scott Gibson follows with Roxy shortly in tow.

Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi slowly walks down the steps.*

Julian Sawyer: "I could say your scooter makes you look like a lil' girly bitch ridin' it, but I won't, because I know where to draw the line." *Julian heads downstairs.*

Metal Man (GM): The control panel is offline, and the door is just locked shut. It looks jammed, too.

Scott Gibson: "Chill, man. I was just kiddin' around."

Alexia looks at the control pad.

Julian Sawyer: "I'm jus' sayin': Know where to draw the line."

Scott Gibson: "Yeah, yeah..."

Editor's Note: Geez, people get so personal about transportation.

The Wraith: "...Moving on. We've got a door to open."

Dragoshi nods, and waits for ideas...

Julian Sawyer: "Check what's behind it."

Alexia: "Want me to do the dust trick again?"

Scott Gibson: "Well, anyone wanna crack open the panel and see if we can get it running? May be the only way we're gettin' in."

The Wraith: "Righto!" *He drifts over to the door, and goes to peek his face through it.*"

Metal Man (GM): A long hallway with windows to some sort of massive storage area full of weaponry is in here.
The storage area is locked, and you can tell the door in was... completely welded shut on the other side.

The Wraith: .oO(...Beautiful.) He returns, shaking his head. "...Well, it's welded shut on the other side. So even if that control panel -was- working, it'd be useless to us."

Julian Sawyer: "We gonna have to bust it down then."

Leo Crayson: "But we can't. No explosions."

Scott Gibson: "You underestimate Julian and I."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Scott Gibson unslings his SG.

Alexia: "We don't NEED explosions."

Julian Sawyer: "Who said anything about explosions?" *Julian reaches into his vest pocket, and RP-draws out a big ol' sledgehammer.*

Scott Gibson assumes his baseball stance and nods to Julian.

Leo Crayson: .oO(0_0 "Wow...")

Julian Sawyer: "You go high, I go low." *Julian rears back...*

Scott Gibson: "Right."

Leo Crayson: .oO("I hope they know what they're doing.")

Alexia casually steps to the side a bit.

Julian Sawyer: "One, two, THREE!" *Swings.*

Scott Gibson: *Sha-wing.*

Metal Man (GM): *BONK* The door bends inwards, then breaks in two from the shoulder attack.
You all can see the aforementioned glass wall, and inside, millions of boxes of military weapons.

Scott Gibson nods with approval.

Julian Sawyer: "Too easy." *Julian tosses aside the broken sledgehammer and moves on.*

Scott Gibson: "THAT's how ya do it."

Metal Man (GM): It's sealed by a massive quad door thingy circular thing.

Scott Gibson moves to the boxes of weapons a'plenty.

Metal Man (GM): It has a hand-shaped thing, for hand scanning.

Alexia: "...Holy cripes on toast. That's enough weapons to turn the planet into ash."
*She moves on.*

Leo Crayson follows the others in as well.

Julian Sawyer: "...Don't suppose anyone's got a severed hand on 'em."

Scott Gibson hands Julian Ganondorf's arm.

Julian Sawyer: "...That'd work."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Dragoshi: "Nope. Sor-...Huh."

Metal Man (GM): You have the arm... but do you try it?
Up ahead is another one of those welded doors of doom.

Leo Crayson looks at the door. "Great..."

Metal Man (GM): No.
The weapon stash is to the left, and separate from the room behind the easy to break door.

Alexia: "Trapped, I bet."

Metal Man (GM): The stash has a letter inside it, too.
But you can't get into it without trying... something.

Scott Gibson reaches for the letter but stops short.

Metal Man (GM): There's a glass wall in the way, sadly.
So. Do you try the arm?

Julian Sawyer knocks on the glass wall. How hard is it?

Scott Gibson: "Hm..."

Metal Man (GM): You hit it... this ain't no glass. It would break your fist to hit it...
It isn't diamond, either; that's too brittle.
But it feels similar to diamond; your first even hurts from hitting it.

Julian Sawyer: *So no vists from Mr. Sledgie.*

Metal Man (GM): This was apparently a reserve for Charles himself, which is probably why the MM2 were never informed.

Leo Crayson: "It could be plexiglass, that stuff is hard as hell."

Metal Man (GM): You can still attempt the hand stuff.

Julian Sawyer: "...How'd you know what plexiglass is? Ain't you a mage? Scott, try the hand."

Scott Gibson: "As in swing the arm at it?"

Julian Sawyer: "In the sensor, idjit."

Scott Gibson rolls his eyes and takes a shot at it.

Alexia: "I bet he's a spy."

Metal Man (GM): *BEEP* *BEEP.*

Computer: "ALERT. GANONDORF DETECTED."

Dragoshi: "And, I bet you're parano-Ah crap."

Scott Gibson: "Crap."

Computer: "DESTROY GANONDORF. ACTIVATING ALL DEFENSE SYSTEMS."

Scott Gibson: "So much for that idea."

Leo Crayson: "Craptastic."

Alexia: "...Uh, time to run."

Computer: "Power low. Unable to activate all systems. Partial defenses online."

Julian Sawyer: "Minor setback."

Metal Man (GM): Big metallic blast doors close over the cache.
Including the door.

Leo Crayson: "That doesn't sound to bad."

Metal Man (GM): However you can continue on your way unopposed.

Julian Sawyer: "Damn."

Dragoshi: .oO(That it? Huh.)

Scott Gibson: "Well, now we'd have to knock the blast doors down. That ain't happening this century."

Julian Sawyer: "We'll figure that out later. Let's take out this door that we CAN take out."

Scott Gibson: "Right. Let's not use the arm anymore."
*He takes it back.*

Alexia: "...I doubt a Heat Beam'd even dent those blast doors."

Leo Crayson stands back.

Dragoshi stands back and watches.

Leo Crayson: "So much for my fire spell then..."

Alexia hovers back a bit as well.

Scott Gibson gets his SG set again for the next swing.

Julian Sawyer: "One, two, THREE!" *Door Busters!*

Scott Gibson: *Swing No Remorse!*

Alexia: "Hrm..."

Metal Man (GM): The door is bashed open. You may continue down the stairs, down here.. ..It's cold down here, though, and the lights are flickering... and entirely red.

Alexia: "Maybe we can break through the wall in that room to reach the cache?"

Scott Gibson heads down. Roxy floats just above the ground behind him.

Julian Sawyer: *Down the stairs!*

Leo Crayson makes his way downstairs.

Dragoshi: *And, down Drag goes!*

Alexia: *Down.*

Scott Gibson: "I get the feeling that they reinforced not just the doors but the walls too. That'd be the logical idea anyways."

Metal Man (GM): The next door was left open for some reason, revealing another level. This one is... well, that's not good.
This is where Trevor was created. Programming disks sit everywhere.
Ricky's pet project, apparently.

Leo Crayson: "If they did that wouldn't there be an ambush coming up soon?"

Metal Man (GM): All the tables are tall enough for a Koopa.
Disks everywhere, and a full spec on Trevor.

Alexia: "...Confiscate?"

Metal Man (GM): The most disturbing, however... is a large section labeled 'FAILSAFE' on the wall.

Scott Gibson: "Yeah, grab em' now so nobody else can."

Julian Sawyer: "Scott, load up Roxy."

Alexia: "..."
*She reads it.*

Dragoshi: "..." *Looks at the failsafe section.*

Leo Crayson: "What the hell is up with this place?"

Scott Gibson grabs his massive black bag with the letters, L337 L007 B4G!!!!1!!1 LOLZ!
"Drop em in here."

Failsafe Poster: "In the event of Quester success, activate Trevor and set to destroy those who are giving them their power. Supposed to be... some sort of Y-zone as well as the X-zone."

Scott Gibson: "And I mean EVERYTHING."

Alexia: "...Y-zone..."

Leo Crayson: "Ok."

Alexia: "This is bad."

Dragoshi: "Y-zone, huh? Well, that's just great"

Smash Dex: "The Y-zone is also known as the Astral realm. Trevor succeeded in destroying it and the X-zone."

Julian Sawyer: "Whatever." *Disk Dumpin'*

Scott Gibson: "I'll bet you there's an infinite number of these 'zones' out there."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Smash Dex: "It appears Trevor was defeated because he had no further programming."

Julian Sawyer: "Or maybe jus' 26."

Scott Gibson: "I hope."

Dragoshi: "Yea. Possibly."

Leo Crayson: "This is all going over my head."

Metal Man (GM): You can see that was the last instruction coded before it was programmed in.

Julian Sawyer: "You'll learn."

Scott Gibson: "You'll get used to it."

Leo Crayson: *Sigh.*

Metal Man (GM): Up ahead is... ...a quad-door like the one before, with another palm reader.
Not good, as this one actually blocks the way forwards. You must be getting close.

Alexia: "...Dammit, not another one."

Scott Gibson walks up to the door. "Let me try."

The Wraith: "...Hold that thought."

Dragoshi: "...This is gonna turn into a bad running gag, huh?"

Leo Crayson: "I could try a fire ball on it?"

Alexia: "No fire."

The Wraith: "Why would you be authorized to go through that door?"

Scott Gibson: "I have a feeling that Julian would only turn on more security systems. No offense dude."

Leo Crayson: "Ok."

Alexia: "For that matter, no ice, no thunder, and no cats either."

Dragoshi: "...Cats?" o_o

Smash Dex: "...History indicates that Aribar and Yurie were last allowed to access this, besides most MM2 people, Charles, and SIMBER system residents."

Leo Crayson: "...Cats?"

Smash Dex: "Unfortunately, none of them are here with you now."

Scott Gibson: "Oi..."

The Wraith: "Just don't try to stick your hand in there, or you'll set off alarms yourself."

Scott Gibson: "Right."
*He steps back a bit.*

Smash Dex: "It may, however, have a flaw that would allow anyone to set it off."

Scott Gibson: "Where the hell is Ari when you need him?"

The Wraith: "...Any idea of how to exploit said flaw?"

Scott Gibson: "We could try hacking it to do the opposite of it's intended security protocol... though it's a one in a million shot."

The Wraith: "Hmm..." *He goes to peek through the door to see what's on the other side.*

Smash Dex: "It is unknown... remember, however, it is a computer/machine."

Julian Sawyer: "One in a million shots happen 90 percent of the time."

Smash Dex: "Which means it can be tampered with."

Alexia looks for a cover to pop off.

Scott Gibson: "Well... that shoots that idea down in flames."

Metal Man (GM): Going through it, you see a series of doors just like it. The explanation is simple: "Orb Room Ahead."
Trying to go further, however, fails.
It has magical protection beyond this next door.
Yes.

The Wraith: "...Just shy of a neon sign." *He turns around and rejoins the group.*

Scott Gibson: "I take it you couldn't find anything, John?"

Julian Sawyer RP-draws out a switchblade knife, flips it open, and goes cover hunting
He fails Miserably.

Scott Gibson joins in the search for a panel opening.

Metal Man (GM): You stab a solid steel part. It doesn't budge. Alexia finds a hinge but no cover.
Scott finds a cover, but it's bolted in place.

Scott Gibson: "Anybody got a screwdriver?" *Chuckles.*

The Wraith: "Everything short of a neon sign saying 'ORB IS HERE'." *He then looks at the panel in question...*

Dragoshi: "'Kay."

Julian Sawyer: "I got it covered." *Julian walks over to where Scott says the cover is, then proceeds to unscrew the screws with his switchblade.*

Metal Man (GM): ...The Bolts cannot be unscrewed.
Rivets, yeah; they have no place to be unscrewed.

Scott Gibson: "Wait... ratchet... that's what I meant. Or not."

Metal Man (GM): Even if they were bolts, they're intended never, never to be taken out.

Scott Gibson: "Let's look around again."

Metal Man (GM): This could be for a good reason, or merely security related.

The Wraith: "...Let's see what the fastening's like on the other side." *He goes to take a peek at the other ends of the rivets.*

Metal Man (GM): You find another panel, this one the hand panel, which can be pried open.
The other side is almost entirely wall, besides the door itself.

Scott Gibson: "Julian... Switchblade."
*He holds out a hand.*

Julian Sawyer pries that mutha open yo.

Metal Man (GM): You pry on it... the door opens.

Scott Gibson: "Bazing."

The Wraith: "...That was silly."

Alexia: "Worked, though."

Leo Crayson: "Yeah."

Dragoshi: "...Yep."

Alexia heads forwards.

Metal Man (GM): It appears it originally was intended to connect a circuit based on the palm... but unintentionally, that can be shorted by prying on the top with something.

Scott Gibson gets up and dusts off before heading to the next room.

Metal Man (GM): There's an exact copy of it dead ahead.

Julian Sawyer pries THAT mutha open.

Leo Crayson walks into the next room.

The Wraith: *He moves forward.* "...Round 2!"

Scott Gibson: "Least we found a way to get em' open."

Dragoshi: "Aye."

Leo Crayson: "Yep."

Metal Man (GM): It opens, revealing your final obstacle.

Scott Gibson: "Two down, one to go."

Metal Man (GM): An X-zone force field surrounds the orb, and has apparently been generating for many, many years.

Alexia: "...Damn."

Scott Gibson: "I guess that's what the death ray was for."

Metal Man (GM): It is odd in that it hasn't been effected by the chaos realm... making it insanely difficult to deal with.

Leo Crayson: "What is it?"

Alexia: "X-Zone field."

The Wraith: "...This is interesting."

Julian Sawyer: "Somethin' you don't wanna touch."

Leo Crayson: "Damn..."

Scott Gibson notices that nobody heard him.

Alexia fires a shot at it with her Lighttech gun.

Scott Gibson: "Didn't Metal give us the Death Ray to use?"

The Wraith: "We haven't picked that up yet. It's one of our tasks."

Leo Crayson: "How do we turn this off then?"

Scott Gibson: "Oh... Right."

Dragoshi nods and waits.

Metal Man (GM): The weapon hits the shield normally, but doesn't dissipate it.
Oddly enough, though, the Lighttech weapon is even able to hit it.

The Wraith: "Hmm..." *He holds up a hand, signaling the others to wait.* "...Idea."

Alexia: "...I thought these guns were made to seal X-zone energy."

Dragoshi: *Gets out the machinegun o' dewm, but before opening fire he looks over to John* "Yeeeees?"

The Wraith: *He spins round and round, vanishing, and reappearing as...
The Singing Sword!*

Leo Crayson: "..."

Scott Gibson: "Wonder what would happen if we all hit it with our Lighttech weapons at once."

Dragoshi: "...The sword? Huh."

Alexia: "...Aw, not this again, John."

Leo Crayson: *0_o* "What the fuck?"

The Wraith: (Spirit Sword) "Obsoive." *He turns blade-first, and goes to float through the barrier like so.*

Scott Gibson: "You think that's weird you should see him as a boot."

Metal Man (GM): You slice it, then it fills the gash with more X-zone as quick as you slice it.

Leo Crayson: "WHAAA?!"

Metal Man (GM): You, however, can travel in and out of ti.

Dragoshi: "...Yeesh."

The Wraith: (Spirit Sword) *And that's exactly the idea. He's on the inside of the barrier now.*

Leo Crayson: "This is fucked up..."

Scott Gibson: "Yeah, he can possess boots. Watch your laces if he disappears into the floor."

Metal Man (GM): You're on the inside... where the sphere is on a pedestal.

Alexia: "Trapped."

The Wraith: *He reverts to normal form, and reaches out... No, doesn't reach for the orb yet. Not before checking for traps. Or tarps.*

Metal Man (GM): Hm...
There's a mechanism linked to the weight of the orb.
If you removed it, it'd likely go nuts.

The Wraith: "...Scientific progress goes 'Boink'?"

Metal Man (GM): Well, they sorta spent all their money on a field which, until recently, was impassable.

Alexia: "So whaddaya see, Wraith?"

The Wraith: "Hmm..." *He looks deep into himself. Specifically, his inventory. Mushrooms, feathers, and another orb that he's not sure what use it has yet... He decides to scan this thing to see about how heavy it is. In comparison to, say, mushrooms.*

Metal Man (GM): It's heavier than a mushroom, lighter than a grenade.

The Wraith: *Two mushrooms?*

Metal Man (GM): Two mushrooms? Slightly lighter.

Smash Dex: "This field is not normal. Be careful."

The Wraith: *One and a half, then?*

Metal Man (GM): That is, two mushrooms were slightly lighter than the orb.

The Wraith: *Ahh. Two and a half?*

Metal Man (GM): That fits perfectly.

The Wraith: *After doing the calculations, he flips to sword form, balancing a mushroom on the end of the blade flat... then tosses it up, and swipes it in two! After that, he reverts to normal, pocketing one half and grabbing the other.* "...Hmm. This is gonna be kinda unwieldy."

Metal Man (GM): Do you trade the things?

The Wraith: *He tries to estimate if he can get this timed right, considering how many hands he has... or doesn't have, as it were.*

Metal Man (GM): You could probably time it right.

The Wraith: *In that case, he mushes the two-and-a-half mushrooms together for a bit of extra stability before going for thet swap, right quick-like.*

Metal Man (GM): You swap 'em.
*Click*
The field... dissipates.

Dragoshi: "...?" *Tilts head.*

The Wraith: "...Tally-ho." *He Inventories the sphere, and... was about to switch to the sword before that happened.*

Scott Gibson: "Convenient."

Metal Man (GM): A dead silence follows over the room.

Leo Crayson: "Did... he get it?"

Julian Sawyer: "An' we done here."

The Wraith: "...Our job here's done. Let's go." *He heads for the door.*

Scott Gibson: "Good enough for me." *Follows John.*

Alexia shrugs and follows.

Leo Crayson follows after John.

Dragoshi: .oO(...Righ.) *Slowly heads for the door as well.*

Julian Sawyer: *Everybody out!*

Metal Man (GM): You head to the door.
You then see the door is... gone.

The Wraith: "...?"

Leo Crayson: "...?"

Alexia: "...Never ever doubt me again."

Dragoshi: "..."

The Wraith: "...What?"

Metal Man (GM): You look over the side... this room is floating in a black void!

Leo Crayson: *Where did the door go?*"

Dragoshi: "...Huh?"

Leo Crayson: "...That can't be good..." *Looks over that the void.*

Metal Man (GM): Your answer materializes at the pillar.

Alexia: "..." *Sweatdrop.*

???: "Why do you take the orb... you are not Charles..."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Dragoshi: "...And you are...?"

The Wraith: *He arches an eyebrow, trying to figure out who this figure is...*

Metal Man (GM): It's a dark hole in reality for a person. A shadow, actually.
You can't tell. He doesn't offer any answers either.

Scott Gibson: "Uh... We're old... uh... comrades of Charles. He left us instructions to seek this orb out."

???: "I am... not important... ...it was I who originally intended to keep this orb safe... so that those who abused my research would not succeed... but they already have, without it..."

Julian Sawyer: "We kinda need it."

???: "Everything I built was abused... and here I see the last light is about to be lost... myself... cannot exist much longer in this state..."

Leo Crayson: .oO(I wonder who this thing is?)

???: "There exists an abomination greater than The Void as of now... the chaos realm... that... is needed to destroy it..."

Dragoshi: "Abomination...?"

???: "But if you use it for military goals, you may never reach that one... thus I am grieved..."

Leo Crayson: "The... Void?"

???: "Gerald is dead... what sort uses this to become like him... Trevor was absorbed because he was not purposeful... I cannot keep you for long, but I can ensure you know what to do..."

Metal Man (GM): He tosses a fried hunk of staff at you.

Scott Gibson catches it.

Leo Crayson: "...?"

Dragoshi: "..." *Takes the hunk of-Never mind, Scott's got it.*

???: "Revive the icon of this making and challenge the person who appears in my name... the powers it grants will override the evil in this universe for good..."

Scott Gibson: "Yep, KFC extra-crispified."

Leo Crayson: "...Yum."

???: "If you decide to use my own device of universe saving for military gain... it will be the last of the original savior devices left... And there are none of us left to make more for you... there only remains death weapons..."

Scott Gibson: "We're not military we can tell you that."

The Wraith: "...Who were you?"

???: "Your use is military in purpose, it is merely pointed at a foe rather than a friend... you have long dabbled in forces you can't understand..."

Dragoshi: "...Such as...?"

Scott Gibson: "..."

Leo Crayson: "..."

???: "I am the darkness without a shadow which accidentally discovered the source of misery in this realm... and died from the hand of a fragmented man who did not truly disband..."

Leo Crayson: "...Yeah..."

Dragoshi: "...Huh."

???: "You will find me again when you use that staff rather than the orb which I created which is limited..."

Metal Man (GM): The illusion begins to dissipate.

Scott Gibson: "Thanks for the info."

Leo Crayson: "That conversation was a bit confusing to me."

???: "Destroy those who wield the X-zone in anger and thus prevent new danger... I will be waiting for you... there are no banks left to store this message cleft onto."

Metal Man (GM): *ZAP.*

Dragoshi: "...Understood, then."

Metal Man (GM): The room returns to normal. A strange hunk of technology is revealed, attached to the sphere.

Leo Crayson: "..."

Metal Man (GM): Written on it is the initials "S. M."

The Wraith: "...Hmm." *He looks at this hunka techno.*

Dragoshi: "...?"

Metal Man (GM): It is an impressively crafted piece of Magitek which has never been destroyed; capable of generating X-zone fields without the X-zone and nearly indestructible.

Leo Crayson looks at John. "What is it?"

Metal Man (GM): It psychically sublimates its purpose as to test whether you deserve the orb into all of your minds.

Scott Gibson: "I only know of one guy with the initials S.M. that I know of."

Metal Man (GM): Thus, the reason it was never stolen--anyone evil who used it would likely die.

Julian Sawyer: "Sardus Mongul?"

Scott Gibson: "Though I've never met the guy. Yep."

Leo Crayson: "?"

Scott Gibson: "That."

Dragoshi: "'Course"

Scott Gibson: "That's my guess. Whoever he was."

The Wraith: "...Interesting..."

Smash Dex: "A warp out has been secretly placed at the surface. You may proceed without provoking the MM's attention."

Metal Man (GM): *gets a drink.*

The Wraith: "Excellent. Let's go."

Alexia: "..."

Scott Gibson: "Right." *Scott follows John up and hopefully out to the warp with Roxy behind him.*

Leo Crayson follows John out.

Julian Sawyer: "We outta here like yesteryear. Let's roll." *EXEUNT.*

Dragoshi nods, then follows the others.

Alexia follows the others silently.

Metal Man (GM): +2000 EXP for so far.
You reach the top, and the warp. Soon, you're inside Dave's... "Scuba Diving" shop.
The racks are filled with stuff, and the one-eyed man in a cloak stares at all of you.

Julian Sawyer: "Yo! Dave! My man! What's up?"

Leo Crayson: "..."

Dragoshi: "...Hiya."

Scott Gibson: "Yo, got any goods for us?"

Dave: "Hm... I believe I recognize you." *He moves a few racks* "I've been getting into lining my pockets with gold. Because I have loads of illegal and outdated weaponry and items."

Scott Gibson: "Got any guitars? I'm always in the market for those."

Metal Man (GM): He presses a button; and you suddenly see... cubes of every color, a rack of badges, a huge pile of chemicals and electrodes, and old Magitek items.

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm, got any swords?"

Dragoshi: "...Woah."

Scott Gibson: "Spiffy."

Dave: "Unfortunately there are none expensive or rare enough to be in this shop; we carry mostly ex-Kuja, ex-Quester Hunter, and even ex-Quester gear."

Metal Man (GM): He taps two boxes sitting on top of a shelf.

Alexia silently grits her teeth and looks at the badges.

Dave: "This here is a doubler, and that a transformer. 10 mill each."

Julian Sawyer: "Mets said you had somethin' for us to pick up?"

Dave: "Swords? Oh, we have swords. Have I a deal for you." *He takes out an all-green jade sword.* "Valcion, magical sword of destruction. Only 999,999,999 coins."

Leo Crayson: "...Ain't that a bit steep?"

Dave: "Oh, right. That'll cost you 1 million. I picked it up off of a crashed Kuja ship."

Scott Gibson: "Wow, what a deal." *Sarcastic tone.*

Leo Crayson: "I'll come back when I hit it big time."

Dave: "Metal said he'd pay for it, but after buying the X-zone machineguns, ethereal death rays, and the Noid Launcher, he ran out of money to waste."

Julian Sawyer: "...A'ight, money pool time. What'd everyone got?"

Dave: "Although he did nearly destroy a far more advanced ship with that antimatter harpoon I sold him."

Alexia: "I have 65 thou."

Leo Crayson: "I just got 20k."

Scott Gibson holds up a debit card with 200k on it.

Dave: "MAC cannons are a joke when you can destroy reality."

Metal Man (GM): He picks up a gun which appears to be wavering in both time and space.

Alexia: "What do you have for badges?"

Dragoshi: "Well, if it wasn't for a CERTAIN INCIDENT I'd 471,435 coins, but I only have 50,735 coins."

Dave: "This baby is the antimatter destructionizer. The first test firing destroyed the people who built it's civilization. 9 billion coins. It's 1900% unsafe."

The Wraith: "...No thanks. We're just here for the aforementioned equipment."

Leo Crayson: "...Sounds like fun."

Dave: "Oh. Badges. Pretty Lucky and Lucky Day. They make you insanely hard to hit, but cost 10 mill and 50 mill apiece."

Julian Sawyer: "Wraith, what you got?"

Dave: "I also have a first-era Dex. Piece of junk, it's worth about 10 coins."

Scott Gibson looks around for random parts or accessories he can use.

The Wraith: "...Hmm. I just may take that."

Metal Man (GM): You browse by a piece of fried staff, finding a bunch of weird radioactive crystals in a lead case... and some refined rod-versions of the same thing!

Scott Gibson: "Last thing I need is to make sure my grandkids glow."

Alexia: "How about light weaponry, like this?" *Holds up her pistol.*

Scott Gibson: "I'd save a mint on nightlights though."

Metal Man (GM): They're labeled as 'Raw Magitek crystals' and 'Refined Magitek Rods', 75 mill for a raw one, and a refined one being 'Above the practical amount possible on a sign.'

The Wraith: "We've got those, Lex." *He offers the ten coins for the old Dex, though.*

Julian Sawyer: "...Yeah, y'all under the impression that you're gonna have any money left after we buy what we need. Wraith, how much coin you got?"

Dave: "Ah, that. That's a joke. I've got THIS." *He takes out a weird claw thing, while taking the 10 coins and puts an old Dex in Wraith's hands... somehow.*

The Wraith: "Oh, about 727. K."

Scott Gibson: "200 k. Like I said."

Dave: "This claw thing has a giant flashing red button. I don't know what it does, but it's dangerous. I've been waiting for Gibby to come to my shop and push it, so I could find out for free."
"Link sold it to me for cheap a while ago."
"It's only worth 750k."
"If you like death in a small package, though, there's this." *He takes out a dark-glowing cube.*
"X-zone cube. One hit and the enemy's incinerated. 10 mill."

Julian Sawyer: "Hmmm... A'ight. Scott, Wraith, you guys split what you got. Alexia, Drag, and New Guy, you guys give what you have. I'll put up the rest."

Leo Crayson: "Ok."

Dave: "...You can also take loans, here, however if you don't pay it I'll fire my Reality Destructionizer at you."

Scott Gibson: "Aww, man... I was really hoping to save that."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Alexia hands Julian her 65,254 coins.

Dave: "It kept away the first ton of Kuja guards... I stole their stuff after I destroyed one of their battleships."

Leo Crayson hands Julian 20,000 coins.

The Wraith: "Well, how much is this stuff that we came here for, anyway?"

Dave: "1 mill. Cheap. But powerful."

Dragoshi: "...What would the time constraints on that be anyway?"

Julian Sawyer: "Somethin' worth 1 mil."

Dave: "Sorta like Steroids. Used for making really, REALLY large lasers."
"If you have something valuable, you can also sell it to me."
"Like, I'm short on reality-destroying swords. Tridus stole some of them and then died with them, and they got blown up in The X-zone."

Leo Crayson: "Awww."

Scott Gibson: "How much can I get for a couple'a Egg-Robo pistols?"

The Wraith: "...I see."

Dave: "1.5 coins per pistol."

Alexia: "What about this?" *Shows the Darkman chain.*

Scott Gibson: "..."

Dave: "I deal in... reality-damaging things. That's worth about 100 coins."

Dragoshi: "I see..."

Dave: "Respectable, but... just not my taste."

Alexia: "I'll pass."

The Wraith: "Anyway... How much did you say you have, Julian?"

Alexia puts the chain back into its belt holder.

Leo Crayson: "What's your cheapest Reality Destroying Sword?"

Dave: "1 million coins."

Scott Gibson bonks Leo.

Julian Sawyer: "Me? 1.1 mil. But I got a business to take care of, an' my funds happen to be the bank's funds."

Leo Crayson: "Oww."

The Wraith: "Roight. So at this point it's a matter of how much you and I are willing to part with."

Dave: "It's a sequel to the vendetta called "The Excelsior" patented by Kuja, then never made. The only prototype in existence is here."

Scott Gibson then turns his attention to Julian. "Oi..."

Julian Sawyer: "Like I said, You and Scott split what you have. I'll put up the rest."

Dave: "It slices, it dices, it destroys physics with a single slice."

Leo Crayson: "I already gave you my money."

Scott Gibson: "Metal had better pay me back for this."

Leo Crayson: "Same here."

Dave: "I take loans up to 1 mill, assuming your soul, your existence, or perhaps something large and expensive is on the line."

The Wraith: "Eh... I'll plunk down 500k."

Dave: "Oh. I also have souls for sale. None of you happen to be soul vampires, right?"

Scott Gibson whips out 100 k. "It's all I can front for now."

Dragoshi: "...Nope. Not that I know of."

Scott Gibson: "My ex-girlfriend maybe..."

Leo Crayson: "..."

The Wraith: "...No, but I have to wonder if someone I know is in there."

Julian Sawyer: "Drag, pay up."

Dave: "Uh. Unlikely. Mostly no-names lose their souls. There was this guy, Kerlios, who traded his for a doughnut."
"Fool."

The Wraith: "...Roight."

Alexia chuckles.

Dave: "He later went insane and played with sock puppets."

Alexia: "If it was jelly-filled, it's understandable."

Dragoshi: "...A doughnut? ...That's a pretty crappy deal."

Leo Crayson: "Yeah."

Dave: "Then he tried to mind control people with an onion ring."

Scott Gibson: "I've heard of worse."

Dave: "He also opened a box in my store which contained vorpal bees of stinging. That wasn't pretty."

Julian Sawyer: "DRAG! We ain't got all day! Fork over what you got!"

Dave: "His final mistake was when he tried to cast a white magic skill and exploded instead. So... that's 600k so far... I'm waiting for the other 400k."

Leo Crayson: "Idiot."

Dragoshi: "...Can't you just pay wi-Oh, sod it. But I better be paid back for this..." *Mutters in agitation and forks over his coins. All 50,735 of 'em.*

Scott Gibson: "Some guy I heard about on Earth sold his soul for a PS3 only to get shot before he could get it."

Dave: "Ah, a PS3. I deal in those by the ton."

Alexia: "What's a PS3?"

Leo Crayson: "What's a PS3?"

Alexia: "Jinx. You owe me a soda."

Leo Crayson: "Awww."

Dragoshi: "...Riiiiiiiight. Can we just get on with this already?"

Scott Gibson: "A game console from about 2000 years ago by your calendar."

Dave: "It's a satanic device which displays graphics at speeds unknown to man and machine. It also has a tendency to float and make things explode."

Leo Crayson: "DEAR GOD..."

Dragoshi: "...Explode? How violently?"

Alexia: "...Cool."

Julian Sawyer: "The next Playstation." *To Dave* "A'ight, to my total we got... 735,989 coins. You take Debit?"

Leo Crayson: "I'd buy one just to destroy it or give to my enemies."

Dave: "No. I take cold, hard cash, or souls."

Scott Gibson puts a wire into Fiz via his Dex. "Yo, Gramps."

Dave: "The last credit card people were killed by the credit card people before I could destroy them with my reality destruction ray."

Dragoshi: "...Wha?"

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): *No answer.*

Alexia: "...No offense, Dave, but you scare me."

Scott Gibson: "Damn..."

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): *...then...*

Fizban: "...eh?! What is this confounded thing doing..."

Leo Crayson: "Dave... you said that this 'PS3' was a gaming console right?"

Dave: "Well, I did out-survive Kuja, and managed to stay afloat even when Kuja tried to rule the world."

Scott Gibson about jumps out of his skin as Fiz appears.

Dave: "Yes. 599k coins."

Leo Crayson: "Did it have any good games?"

Dave: "Yes. 60k coins. If you want to be nostalgic, though, it's much cheaper."

Metal Man (GM): He takes out a handful of cubes with fire in them.

Leo Crayson: "Really?"

Julian Sawyer: "Scott, you got Fiz on the line? Ask him how much coin he's got."

Fizban: "...eh? Oh, hello, Master Gibson!"

Dave: "These are lethal to normal humans (100 damage) and explode violently, and cost only 50k a pop. But you're limited to 3 per customer."

Scott Gibson: "Yeah, we need fundage asap. How much you got?"

Dave: "Also you have to shoot or throw them." (Only work with shooting or throwing objects)

Fizban: "I have some various lengths of wire that the good Doctor Light let me borrow..."

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm, got a console that looks like a white rectangle?"

Scott Gibson: "Any coins?"

Dave: "Sold out of those... long ago. And the people were waiting in line as Aetos made this place explode."

Fizban: "Oh, coins you say? Well, I suppose so..."

Dave: "They all died... it was a massacre."

Leo Crayson: "My god. Was it better than that PS3?"

Alexia: "...You're a mage. How do you know so much about these devices?"

Fizban: "...I have about 128 thousand coins."

Leo Crayson: "I like to collect things from different eras."

Julian Sawyer: "Scott, if it's over 100k, tell him to split it and fax it over."

Scott Gibson: "How much are you willing to part with for now? We'll get Metal to reimburse us."

Fizban: "One hundred and twenty eight thousand, two hundred and sixty-six, to be precise."

Dave: *Turns to Alexia* "He is clearly an interdimensional mage of some kind, who is also a resident evil fan and also master of... wrong person." *Tosses a Quester encyclopedia behind himself.*

Fizban: "Oh, surely! How much do you need?"

Scott Gibson: "100 k?"

Leo Crayson: "What's that?"

Dave: "Ooh! I can make money writing down his personality before anyone else." *Begins writing.*

Alexia: "Ooh, book! Lemme see!"

Fizban: "Oh, fine. If the Man of Metal will repay us, I can surely give coins to the cause. Now, let's see..."

Dave: "So... where do you come from, anachronistic mage?"

Fizban: "Which one of these buttons sends things..."

Dave: "That book costs 10k per seeing, and 100k to own."

Alexia: "...What is it?"

Scott Gibson: "Red button on the left."

Dave: *Glances at the dex convo* "Just set that thing to wire money with the green button with a $ sign."

Leo Crayson: "Well, I've just been wandering about the countryside."

Dave: "...The red button works, too, if you want to teleport it in. Okay, so you are a nomadic hunter-Mage."
"And what is your name?"

Leo Crayson: "Yes."

Scott Gibson: "That's the idea"

Leo Crayson: "Leo."

Fizban: "Ah! There it is... here you are."

Dave: "Okay, Yes, that's your name. First Name Yes, Last name Leo."

Leo Crayson: "No..."

Alexia grins.

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): *BZZT* *WARP.*

Dave: "No is your middle name. I get it."

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): *100k coins appears on the counter.*

Dave: "Yes No Leo, how did you find out about the PS3?"

Leo Crayson: "Oy..."

Scott Gibson points Dave to them.

Dave: "Oysters? Amazing!"

Fizban: "Also, le--my word!"

Alexia flat-out laughs.

Fizban: "Look at all those trinkets!"

Leo Crayson: "STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!"

Scott Gibson: "That should fill the tab."

Leo Crayson: "Gah, what is this grade school?"

Julian Sawyer: "Righ', so that makes it...835,989. Gimme a minute..."

Dave: "Yes, no, Yes No Leo."

Fizban: "Oh, master shopkeep!"

Leo Crayson can't help but laugh.

Dave: "What is the name of your country of origin? ???"

Fizban: "...bah, turn the screen around, Master Scott!"

Scott Gibson turns the screen around as instructed.

Julian Sawyer takes a cell phone out of his pocket... emblazoned with the Sawyer Financial logo. Julian flips it open to reveal a card reader, swipes his debit card... and produces 273,270 coins exactly. Julian puts the Money Maker back in his back pocket.

Dave: "I've never seen SIMBER in that outfit before. Is that an upgrade?"

Julian Sawyer: "There ya go. 1 mil exactly."

Fizban: "Oh, Master Shopkeep. I know this is a bit odd, me being behind the screen and all, but do you have any items of magical value that a wizard could use for... oh... around twenty thousand coins?"

Dave: *Looks at the money* "Okay, that's enough." *Scoops it into a massive bag... why, a reproduction of Charles' coin bag*
"Not much, besides an ethereal mustache comb and a plastic ice cube."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Dave: "Your friend could use a mustache comb, you know."

Fizban: "An ethereal mustache comb, you say?"

Dave: "Yes."

Dragoshi: "...What would THOSE do?" >_>

Alexia: "So what's the book, anyways?"

The Wraith: "I'm clean-shaven, bub."

Fizban: "My, that does sound good... but... oh! Perhaps a trade is in order? What can I get for this?"

Dave: "The mustache combs allow ethereal beings to comb their mustaches, and the ice cube allows you to turn drinks into solid ice."

Scott Gibson: .oO(Oh Hell's Bells... he's not going to use it as a pick is he?)

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): *In the screen, he holds up that Power Cell.*

Dave: "Hm... what is that, specifically? It looks rare, but of... indeterminate origin."

Fizban: "Well, the good device in my pocket said it was a Power Cell of some type."

Alexia: "..." *Snaps her fingers.*

Fizban: "I have no use for it. Magical devices are my specialty."

Alexia pulls that weird pike out of her pack. Somehow.

Dave: "Hm. Where did you find it?"

Fizban: "Wands, staffs, items, so forth... In a laboratory underneath the... what was it? The IIF Headquarters?"

Alexia: "Dave, after you're done with Fizban, can you tell me what the hell this is?"
*She puts the pike down on the counter.*

Dave: "Hmmm... it may be worth the cube and the comb."

Scott Gibson realizes he has a pike thingy too.

Dave: "That is an Atlantean plasma pike. Not so very odd. Although in mint condition? Unheard of."

Alexia: "What's the blue crystal on it?"

The Wraith: *He rubs his forehead with his thumb and two fingers.* "How much longer is this gonna take, people?"

Dave: "Plasma generator."

Leo Crayson: *Whispers to himself* "I need money."

Fizban: "I was told it was very rare. Perhaps you have a wand that I may use?"

Alexia: "How much is it worth?"

Dave: "Oh, your purchase is complete." *Gives the parts to Julian.*

Scott Gibson: "I'm done. I'm just waiting for Fiz to finish up."

Dave: "...People have been known to shop in here for years, my ghostly friend."

Dragoshi: "...YEARS? Woah."

Dave: "These pikes? A good 20k any day."

Alexia: "...Deal."

Dave: "The fact you have two mint ones makes me suspicious of paying the old price, 100k. Sure." *Takes it, gives Alexia 20k.*

Alexia pockets the cash.

Dave: "As for a wand... I am afraid I am not a very good wand seller."

Alexia: "As for the pikes, we got them straight off of a weapons rack."

Dave: "I only have one... very magical, very expensive."

Fizban: "I see. Perhaps a magical item of boosting magic? A Pearl of Power? A Staff of the Mag--oh? May I see it?"

Dave: "...An ivory wand with Kuja's hair inside it, worth a whopping 500 mil." *He shows it to the screen.*

Fizban: "..."

Dave: "It is rumored Kuja's magic still exists inside... and thus, powerful red magery is possible. -Ja level spells."

Alexia: "...How, may I ask, did you get Kuja's hair into that wand?"

Fizban: "...while that is... rather... incredible..."

Leo Crayson: "...DAMN IT!!"

Fizban: "...very... very incredible..."

Alexia: "And the pikes aren't fakes, if you're thinking that."

Dave: "...Ruvyn is rumored to have taken it from where he fell, and, in an attempt to store what he could of Kuja's soul, made it. With Ruvyn dead, this is the last piece, and even then, only knowledge, almost like a massive materia."

Fizban: "...I believe I haven't enough... well, I suppose I can buy nothing...*Sigh*...thank you for your time." *Bzzt.*

Dave: "I shall remain here... in case you become richer. Oh, your boss has a portal for you, too."

Alexia waits for a reply from Dave to her other comment.

Metal Man (GM): A portal appears outside the shop.

Dave: "This pike cannot be faked. Plasma crystals are one-of-a-kind. Each pike has a fingerprint."

Scott Gibson shuts the dex, eager to get home.

Alexia: "So why not give us the full 100k?"

Leo Crayson walks outside.

Dave: "There are two of a kind in front of me. ...And your weapon rack story means they're only really worth 1000 now."

Scott Gibson: .oO(Thank Hendrix mine is on my wall back in my room.)

Dave: "I work on rarity, especially rarity. This wand may be worthless, but it's rare... so rare I can charge exorbitant, impossible prices and still get buyers."

Alexia: "Weren't any others, as far as I could see."

Dave: "Ganondorf paid dearly for some of those things he used far back..."

Dragoshi: "...Right." *Walks over to the warp.*

Scott Gibson heads to the warp with Roxy. "I'm done here. Let's get going."

Dave: "Come back later--I also take Crystal Stars!"

Alexia: "So will you be wanting a refund?"

Leo Crayson walks in the warp.

Julian Sawyer: *Outta here!*

Dave: "No. All sales are final."

Alexia: "Okay. Maybe later I can buy something else. Bye."
*She enters the warp.*

Dave: *Looking at the wand* "Mirror... mirror... inside the wand... who is the most powerful one in the world?"

Wand: "..."

Dave: "...?!? ...That won't fare well for them..." *Fadeout on him.*

Metal Man (GM): You walk into the warp, and make your way into the final area.
The basement storage unit.
Jus' a couple stairs down, he says. 'Cept it's many stairs down. Concrete stairs.

Alexia hovers down.

Julian Sawyer: *Stair steppin'*

Leo Crayson walks down the steps.

Dragoshi: *Stair steppin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, 'cept not really.*

Scott Gibson: *Stairway to Heaven.*

Metal Man (GM): You get to the bottom, where an open, rusted iron door sits ..And the largest pile of junk known to mankind is assembled.
Here you see old CAC hulks, several discarded inventions by Professor Oak...

Alexia: "Ooh, lookit all the worthless crap."

Leo Crayson: "...Junky."

Scott Gibson: "Junk pile!"

Metal Man (GM): Some walls and materials for one of Dr. Light's old houses...

Scott Gibson dives in looking for stuff.

Dragoshi: "...Huh."

Metal Man (GM): Old, broken materials... discarded money bags...

Leo Crayson does the same.

Metal Man (GM): One per person

Scott Gibson looks again.

Leo Crayson: "I wonder what's in this junk pile?"
*He is still digging for stuff.*

Metal Man (GM): Alexia finds: A CAC engine.

Alexia: "Ooh, neat!"

Metal Man (GM): Scott finds: One of Yurie's shoes.
Leo finds: A bottle cap owned by James of Team Rocket.

Scott Gibson: "What the hell?!"

Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi finds: A button to the E-123 machinegun.

Leo Crayson: "What the hell, indeed."

Alexia: "Look at what I got!"
*She holds up the engine.*

Metal Man (GM): Julian finds: Three half-eaten vials of red dust.

Leo Crayson: "AWW COME ON, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Dragoshi: "...Huh. Wonder if I can find the rest of this..."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Scott Gibson tosses the oddly high heeled shoe behind him and continues searching.

Metal Man (GM): John, the last to search, finds a can of Lysol crushed from Metal's own hands.

Julian Sawyer: "...Why the hell would you eat dust?"

Dragoshi: "...I... Don't want to know"

Alexia: "Look at the neat-o car engine, guys!"

Leo Crayson tosses the bottle cap and keeps searching.

Metal Man (GM): The bottle of dust says 'Property of Wolfman'
One search check per person.
So you have to roleplay looking for the actual parts; these were for bonus things.

Scott Gibson sighs and gets out of the junk pile, brushing himself off.

The Wraith: "...Hmm." *He scans the red dust.*

Alexia: "...Fine, don't look at what I got."

Leo Crayson jumps out of the junk pile.

Scott Gibson: "What's a CAC engine anyway?"

Smash Dex: "Red dust used by Wolfman to become invincible. Expired."

Alexia adds the engine to her magical pack of carrying stuff and starts digging around for the parts.

Fizban: *Walks down the stairs* "...oh, so here you all are... what a lovely pile of... things you've found."

The Wraith: "...Damn. That was some powerful stuff back in the day."

Smash Dex: "May cause asthma, sudden death, loss of Intelligence, and/or lack of motivation to participate in missions."

Fizban: "...what are we looking for?"

Leo Crayson: "I found a bottle cap."

Alexia: "Deathbeam parts."

Smash Dex: "May also cause amnesia, as it is a close relative of Amnesia dust."

Scott Gibson: "Oh."

Fizban: "Ahhh... well, I suppose I will help..." *Goes to look around.*

Scott Gibson: "I found a high heel."

Smash Dex: "It was responsible for VG forgetting who he was on Turion and cooking for Lizardmen for many, many years."

Dragoshi: "I found a button." >_> *Goes off to dig for parts.*

Metal Man (GM): You find an old, old spellbook that belonged to Aribar.

Julian Sawyer keeps looking for something big and Egg Cannon shaped
He does that.

Fizban: "...ah ha!"

Metal Man (GM): 'Thordain' is one of the few spells still legible.

Fizban: "What a incredible find!" *Flips it open and reads.*

Leo Crayson: "...It's just not my day today..."

Alexia continues digging around in the junk piles.

Fizban: "...hm? Oh, who are you?"

Alexia: "I'm happy with my find. Oh, hey, Fiz."

Leo Crayson: "I'm new, the name is Leo."

Fizban: "Oh! Another mage! A pleasure to meet you, Master Leo, I am Fizban... I think... ...I'm Fizban, right"

Alexia: *Dig dig dig.*

Leo Crayson: "...Ok."

Alexia: "Yep."

Dragoshi continues digging... And digging...

Fizban: "Ah, thank you. Well, yes, if you wish to see this after I am through studying it, then you are most welcome to do so."

Leo Crayson: "Really?"

Scott Gibson: *Mutters* "Old-timers disease... it's an ugly thing." *Nudges Leo.*

Alexia pushes a pile over with TK.

Fizban: "Of course!"

Leo Crayson: "Thank you."

Alexia: "TIMBER!"

Metal Man (GM): Julian strikes a large cylinder.

Fizban: "Think nothing of it, my lad." *Doesn't seem perturbed at the large pile of stuff that smashes behind him*
"Oh, yes, also..."

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm?"

Julian Sawyer: "This could be somethin'..." *Julian dexes it.*

Fizban: "Since you are near Master Gibson, could you smack his head for me?"

Leo Crayson: "...Ok."

Scott Gibson ducks.

Leo Crayson smacks air.

Smash Dex: "Definite match. Egg cannon."

Fizban: "...ah, miss. Oh well. Well, to commemorate a new mage entering our ranks, I have a gift for you, lad."

Julian Sawyer: "From the Egg Carrier, right? ...Yeah."

Scott Gibson raises a guitar next to Leo's head. "Julian ain't the only one that'll bap ya back."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "It appears you have succeeded. This is... most excellent."

Dragoshi: "...Quite."

Dr. Light: "Allow me to see the parts. Then Professor Oak's voltorbs will put it into place."

Fizban: "...ah. I see. Well, anyway, Master Leo. Here you are."

Alexia: "Check out what I got!" *Drops the engine on the floor.*

Leo Crayson looks a Scott's guitar "...Damn."

Professor Oak: "Why do I always do the hard labor?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "You never got a PHD in a real field."

Julian Sawyer hands over the parts from Dave and the Egg Carrier Cannon.

Professor Oak: "But Pokemonology IS a real field!"

Scott Gibson: "BURN!"

Dragoshi: "...I... Have no idea."

Leo Crayson takes the item.

Fizban reaches into his robes, searching for a moment before pulling out a long stemmed pipe and a small brown leather bag.

Alexia: "...Man, nobody cares about my finds."

Dr. Light: "...When pokemon are around, possibly. But robots are more versatile."

Alexia drags the engine out.

Leo Crayson: "What is it?"

Fizban: "Every mage should have a pipe and some pipe weed." *He chuckles.*

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm... thanks."

Dr. Light: "...That is one of the original CAC engines." *Taps it* "...I see why it was down there."

Scott Gibson: "Hold up!" *Jumps between Leo and Fiz.*

Dr. Light: "That was one of the ones Skyhigh crashed."

Alexia stops.

Scott Gibson: "Did I hear the magic W word?"

Leo Crayson: "GAH!"

Dr. Light: "He did so while laughing crazily."

Alexia: "Is it still usable?"

Fizban: "Hmm? Something on your mind, Master Scott?"

Leo Crayson: "Ummm, no."

Dr. Light: "...Yes. You just have to refurbish it a little."

Leo Crayson hides the pipe and weed.

Dr. Light: "Although it's... old."

Alexia narrows her eyes.

Scott Gibson: "An elder like you outght to be packin' some serious gunge. May I?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "...Whoever has the orb: Please give it to me."

Alexia: "What do you mean by THAT?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "And, uhhh... the parts."

Fizban: "...excuse me?"

Dr. Light: "Outdated, weak, what have you."

Fizban: "...gunge?"

Scott Gibson: "... Uh... a colloquialism for pipe weed."

Leo Crayson: "I think he means Weed to the extreme. Oh."

Scott Gibson casts a nasty glance at Leo for a split second.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "This is a science lab, not a garage. Please take your drugs outside."

Julian Sawyer: *Already handed over the parts.* >_>

Fizban: "Oh! Oh, I see. You mean Old Toby."

Leo Crayson: "..."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Besides, rum is superior."

Fizban: "Yes, I made sure to have a ready supply of Old Toby before I left that world. I didn't want to run out, you see."

Dragoshi: "You heard the scient-Huh. What kind?"

Dr. Light: "Winners don't use drugs."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "I won once or twice."

Leo Crayson: "Heh."

Scott Gibson: "Mind if I give it a shot?"

Dr. Light: "That was a technicality. Perhaps when you were time-traveling."

Fizban: "Hmm? Drugs? No, we speak nothing of drugs, good doctors."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "I'm not sure. I don't really care, though." *Motions to The Wraith* "Could you give me the orb?"

Alexia drags the engine out of the room... where should it go?

Scott Gibson: "Good ol' fashioned smokin' goods."

Metal Man (GM): Alexia: It leaves a trail of motor oil.

Fizban: "It merely makes you think a bit more clearly. Ah, yes, let's see... I think I have another... yes, here."

Leo Crayson: "Need help lighting that up?"

Alexia: "...Aw, heck."

Mack: "E gads! Not the carpet! ANYTHING BESIDES THE CARPET!"

Fizban hands Scott another pipe. This one a bit shorter and of darker wood than his own. Leo's is a white wood.

Dragoshi: "...Right."

Mack: "The illogically placed carpet in the entryway! Noooooo!!!!"

Alexia lifts the engine up, surrounding it in a telekinetic field and keeping the oil from dripping out
"Sorry."

Dragoshi: "...Why is there a carpet there?"

Mack: "I had marble and wood everywhere else, but nooo... Metal said carpet should go there."

Leo Crayson: *Points at Mack* "Who is that?"

Fizban: *Rummages around and finds another pouch, handing it to Scott* "There you are. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some reading to do."

Scott Gibson: "Thanks."

Fizban turns and goes to find a quiet place to read Aribar's spellbook.

Alexia: "...Gee, you sure look better after being shoved down some bleachers and having a light fixture falling on your head."

Dragoshi: "..." *After hearing Mack say that* "...I'm not even gonna ask."

Mack: "I am a one-armed cleaning man, that's wot!"

Leo Crayson: "...Cool."

Mack: "...We must never speak of the light fixture, ach."

Alexia: "I could set the oil on fire to clean it up. Might do some property damage, though."

Dragoshi: "...That'd just make a bigger mess"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: *Waits for the orb* "Dr. Light has some experimental solvents we could use."

The Wraith: "Coitanly!" *He hands over the orb.*

Dr. Light: "...Metal Cola is NOT an experimental solvent."

Alexia: "So where should I take this engine to, anyways?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "It cleaned my shirts better than soap."

Dr. Light: "..."

Dragoshi: "..."

Scott Gibson stands outside and whips out his Celtic cross Zippo and lights up the pipe. He takes a puff and immediately gags. coughcoughgag... choke... "Yup... iz been awhile..."

Ivo Robotnik takes the orb and plugs it into a dangerous-looking assembly.

Leo Crayson watches Scott. "Damn, how is it?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Let's see... chemical laser stuff here..."

Alexia: "Uh, could I get an answer? This engine is really heavy."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Oak. Have the Voltorb hoist up the Egg Cannon."

Scott Gibson: "It's been about a month or two since I touched a good smoke."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Anywhere but here. Metallic objects tend to shoot sparks if they get too close to my cannon. This is also why Metal Man is outside trimming the hedges."

Leo Crayson: "This would be my first time, never touched the stuff."

Scott Gibson: *Wheezes* "Daaaamn... Just don't inhale."

Leo Crayson: "Why?"

Dr. Light: "Smoke will cloud the lens. Could you do that outside?"

Alexia takes it to the garage and puts a "PROPERTY OF ALEXIA, KEEP YOUR GRUBBY MITTS OFF" note on it.

Scott Gibson comes around the corner. "I am outside."

Dr. Light: "We don't want the laser shuttering and blowing us up instead."

Garrick Fy`aar (GM): Scott: Oddly, this doesn't have any real kick to it. It's very mellow. It gently puts you into that buzzing state and will gently pull you back out when you are finished. Almost the instant you stop smoking.

Leo Crayson: "Hmmm, I just I could try it, what harm could it do?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: *Watches a voltorb heft the massive cylinder* "No, no, that's all wrong. Left! Right. Right some more. Some more right."

Voltorb: "Voltorb. Voltorb."

Alexia: *Walking back to the others* "Might I recommend an alternative?"

Scott Gibson takes another puff, slower and much easier on the stuff.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "I said right more, not a ton!"

Dragoshi: "...?"

Alexia hands Leo her can of Saturn Coffee.

Scott Gibson: *Exhales* "Much better."

Professor Oak: "I don't see why it has to point THAT way."

Dragoshi: "!"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "It must face the sun."

Metal Man (GM): A few moments of shoving, and it clicks into place.

Leo Crayson takes out his pipe, lights up, takes a puff and throws up.

Scott Gibson: "Leo. Warning, do not under any circumstances drink the Mr. Saturn Coffees."

Mack: "Not the inexplicable carpet? Ahhhhhhh!!!!!"

Leo Crayson: "Ugh, what the hell?"

Alexia kicks Scott in the shin.

Scott Gibson: "OW!"

Alexia: "GAW, you're paranoid."

Mack: "I must... clean this mess up!"
*He takes out a can of Metal Cola and hurls it on the floor.*

Alexia barely avoids cackling evilly... this'll be worth the 10k easily.

Leo Crayson: "Ugh, sorry Mack."

Metal Man (GM): *BLAM* The floor fizzes violently for a few moments... when it's done... the messes are gone... but so is the carpet.

Mack: "...I'm never drinking that stuff again."

Scott Gibson pats Leo on the back. You'll get used to it.

Dragoshi walks over to the others.

Alexia: "Enjoy the coffee. Goes great with Fiz's weed."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "While you are all going insane on drugs, the weapon is a few moments from firing."

Leo Crayson: "Yeah, just gotta get used to it."

Dragoshi: "...Coffee?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Let's see... test firing... there's a nice, big MAC cannon outpost... You might want to stand clear of the weapon. It's like a massive magnet."

Leo Crayson: "By the way, what's with not drinking Saturn Coffee?"

Mack: "...Why we installed this in the front hallway, I don't know." *Wanders away quickly.*

Alexia: "They think it's liquid death."

Editor's Note: No, that drink came out much later IRL.

Dr. Light: "Are you sure this is safe?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "No."

Leo Crayson: "Wow."

Scott Gibson takes another easy puff. "Good stuff. Hendrix had some bad stuff though. Kinda smokeables that'd hit you like a 747 barreling out of hell at the speed of light."

Dr. Light: "..." *Walks out of the room.*

Dragoshi: "...Actually, it's more like liquid insanity. And liquid collateral damage."

Professor Oak: "Maybe he's right. It could be safe. Like my move trader."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Yes. You're right. Electrocution is safe."

Alexia: "...Those stains never did come out of the kitchen walls, did they?"

Leo Crayson tries again with the weed.

Dragoshi: "...No idea" *Ker-shrug.*

Scott Gibson: "Just take it easy."

Leo Crayson: "Damn...*Cough* that is some good shit. Ha ha ha."

Metal Man (GM): You hear a massive charging; Metal objects begin to gravitate towards the cannon.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "This is why I brought plastic shades for the occasion..."

Dragoshi: *And, Drag gets the hell out of there...*

Professor Oak: "..." *Walks away before the buttons on his shirt are ripped off.*

Alexia pulls the chain back into its belt loop and runs.

Scott Gibson burns off the rest of his and taps the ashes into a garbage can before sliding the pipe and pouch back into his pocket.

Leo Crayson does the same.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: *Puts on his goggles* "This is going to be very bright, too!"

Metal Man (GM): The ground begins rumbling.

Leo Crayson: "What are they doing?"

Scott Gibson: "Rox... Two brews."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Anyone who values their personal property should move one room away." *He sets it to fire.*

Roxy motors out of the room and comes back with a couple of ice cold beers from Scott's private micro brewery in his room.

Leo Crayson: "It makes beers too?!"

Metal Man (GM): The gun charges up completely.

Scott Gibson: "I made the brew."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "3... 2... 1... fire."

Metal Man (GM): *BLAMMMMMMM.*

Roxy motors out of the room entirely now.

Alexia is one room away, sooooo...

Metal Man (GM): Pause on people in HQ.

Leo Crayson: "Cool, can I try one?"

Dragoshi: *Good thing Drag's one room away as well, a-LOLPAUSE.*

Fizban: *Is knocked off his feet by the blast* "My hip!"

Scott Gibson: "Later."
*He cracks one and hands it to Leo.*

Leo Crayson: "Thanks."

Metal Man (GM): ...
Anyway...
Cinema
The large cannon poking out of the hole the IIF made is rotated, then fired at an outpost near the arctic wastes.
*inside the outpost*
A general Space Pirate sees the cannon charging (this is a few moments earlier)

Space Pirate: "..."

Metal Man (GM): It presses several buttons, and the building rotates to face the HQ.
It fires a MAC projectile at the cannon.
...The cannon at HQ fires.
A massive white laser engulfs the MAC projectile; it is never seen again.
Then it hits the outpost, which... vanishes.
It continues going and flies off the planet and into space.
*Back at HQ*
The inside hallway is on fire.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "...I didn't expect it to be THAT powerful!"

Metal Man (GM): Sprinklers put out the fires... but the cannon is still going.

Scott Gibson puts down his beer as Roxy comes floating punch drunk into the room.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "..." *Hits it twice* "I only used 100% pirated parts! Why should this be going wrong?"

Dragoshi: *Walks back in after all that happened* "So, what ha-GOOD SWEET MERCIFUL HELL!"

Leo Crayson: "What's in that beer, tastes good, a bit flamey though."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "Oh. Here we go!"

Scott Gibson then notices that the sound of the shot shattered his bottle.

Ivo Robotnik jams a stick in the control panel.

Metal Man (GM): The cannon stutters, then turns off.

Fizban: "...my hip!! I landed on it, but I didn't break it!"

Julian Sawyer left... to go take care of some business. Yeah.

Scott Gibson: "Aw... Hell's Bells! My beer exploded all over my good shirt!"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "A little archaic... but..." *A screen shows a massive crater where that outpost was.*

Leo Crayson: "Are they qualified to do that kinda shit?"

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "...98% success!"

Dragoshi: "...That was 98%!?"

Leo Crayson: "...Damn, just damn."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "The 2% was when it flew into outer space... and refused to turn off. We can... fireproof this area to deal with any future events."
"Good thing you didn't skimp on the price--had he not included new rings to go with it, we'd all be dead!"
"These old ones which originally went in the set would have exploded and caused it to reverse on us."

Scott Gibson: "Remind me to thank him next time."

Leo Crayson: "Ok, I'll do the same."

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: "It's... touchy... but now we just need to wait for them to fire, and they're dead."
*He walks off.*

Metal Man (GM): Mission Completed
+10,000 coins
+3000 more EXP

Maester Magellean (GM): *After all of this happens, Maester, still an Omega Metroid, stops terrorizing the inhabitants of Eisnaught, goes into yet another alleyway that doesn't have people in it, and has its pyreflies disperse into the many that makes up its body. The pyreflies then float upward through the sky, and proceed en route to the Lunarian Moon.*

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