The first epic mission
of SSQ history!
Alys had been lying in the Sick Bay for almost a week, reflecting on the incredible losing streak she had suddenly faced, ending finally with the loss of her last life to Zelda. She had indeed run into some horrible luck… but she was convinced that the loss of that battle was all her fault.
"…I can’t believe it… everyone was cheering me on… even Sky… and I still lost… Am I doomed to fail for the rest of my life? Maybe Coop was right… Maybe I AM a weakling…"
She denied such thoughts and started to leave Sick Bay…a few days early. She picked up her gear and almost collapsed. Instead, she was surrounded by an eerie red glow…
"I’m…not…WEAK!!!" She exclaimed, and dashed down the halls.
The Questers were arguing about something called Outlaw Star when Dr. Mario and Wolfman asked them to come with them to Alys’s room. They all went, and Wolfman picked up a sqeaking noise among Alys’s "Go away!" chants, made usually by a tape recorder. Phantom decided to break the door down, and lo and behold, there was a tape recorder…along with a note from Pikachu:
To whom it may concern,
I intend to prove once and for all that I am NOT a weakling, that it is NOT my destiny to fail! Don’t come after me, for I shall return… with Bowser, Ganondorf, and Dracula’s heads…
Pikachu explained to them (via Smash Dex translators) that he was just walking around, minding his own business, when something shot up through the floor from under him, and the next thing he knew, he was there! The Questers looked up, only to find a big hole in it, going all the way up to the roof!
Mewtwo called the Questers to the Big Room, where he informed them of Alys’ unstable psychological state, and her sudden increase in power. "Although her rage has filled her with INCREDIBLE power, it seems to have deprived her of her common sense; she’s gone to fight Bowser and company in their own fortress." Mewtwo brought up a map on the Big Room screen, "She narrowed it down to this location…" Wolf was very much alarmed at what Mewtwo was showing them…
"But… that’s HERE!"
"Look closer, Wolfman." Mewtwo motioned to what appeared to be a large flying saucer with a Bowser-style castle on it. The Questers stood aghast… it was looming high above the Melee Stadium, in the perfect position for an attack… Aribar clenched his one fist…
"I’m gonna go up there, find Alys, and blow that thing up, even if it costs me my last life… who’s with me?"
A week earlier…
"So when’ll this thing be ready… what’d ya say your name was?" Bowser asked the strange creature that stood before him…
"Ed Glukkon, Mr. Koopa."
"It should be ready in about one week and three days." Ganondorf stood up at Ed’s words.
"Hahaha… PERFECT! Those miserable Questers will never be able to penetrate its defenses, and, by the time it’s ready, that foolish girl will only just be getting out of Sick Bay!" Bowser grinned and nodded in agreement.
"Now get to the point. What kind of WEAPONS does this baby have?"
"It shall be equipped with a laser capable of toppling mountains!"
"Wonderful! How much?"
"One million moolah!"
"We’ll take it!"
And with that, Bowser and Ganondorf quickly signed and paid the strange creature… little did they know that they were being watched by a certain Mudokon and his Gabbit friend!
One week later…
Aribar, Sky, Lynk, Mr. T, Metal, Nodal, Green, Phantom, Coop, and Lemmy all set out for Cerulean City, which, much to their dismay, was the nearest accessible sight of a base at which there was docked a rather odd looking cargo ship, whose destination was confirmed as the UFO above Melee Stadium. With the help of some bunny hoods and cloakers supplied by Wolfman, they were able to zip through the base and find the ship… what they encountered there, however, totally blew their minds.
At the top of the ramp were two very odd looking two-legged pear-shaped red-brown skinned and VERY toothy creatures… it was unfortunate for the Questers, however, that their cloakers and bunny hoods just happened to wear off at that point. The strange things (Called "Slogs" thanks to the Smash Dex) began to bark, and a green thing with mechanical legs (called a "Slig" by Phantom) suddenly marched over to the ramp. A fight ensued, with the Questers winning thig battle easily.
The Questers quickly boarded the ship, ducking into some crates to hide from the pilot. Upon arriving at the UFO, Nodal booted the pilot out the window, and they entered the great hulking ship.
Once inside, the Questers met up with two…odd looking creatures. The first one introduced himself as Abe, a Mudokon. Abe introduced Munch, a creature called a Gabbit. Apparently, both sides suspected that their respective bad guys were causing trouble—the Glukkons for Abe and Munch, and Bowser and Gannondorf for the Questers. Abe had to save the other Mudokons (or so he said anyway) and so they proposed to team up.
After much exploring, the group was forced to split up. Aribar, Metal, Abe, and Munch happened upon a small collection of Vend-o’s and a Vykker ripe for the possessing. Aribar took a swig of "Expresso," Metal and Munch both had a can of "ZAP!" and the Vykker possessed by Abe grabbed a "ShotDoc2000."
Later, they joined up with the others, who were a little busy trying to figure out how to get past a room FILLED with Sligs and Slogs. Luckily, Abe was willing to sacrifice his Vykker and Munch was able to activate a Snoozer to put them all to sleep. The questers moved through the now silent hall, only to confront an Armored Big Bro Slig; the most dangerous enemy on Oddworld. With some trouble and a few near deaths, they were able to defeat it… only to be pursued by TWO Armored Big Bros! The questers quickly fled the way the first Big Bro was blocking, across an exposed catwalk underneath the ship, and into an elevator. It wouldn’t work…
"Come on, Munch! Get this thing moving or we’re Slog bait!"
"I’m TRYING Abe!"
"Come on… HURRY!"
Things were looking grim… the Questers were cornered by two machine-gun wielding, four legged terrors… it looked as though nothing could have saved them… when something shot across the bridge, first behind the Sligs, then in front of them, leaving a trail of white feathers behind… Sky’s eyes widened with joy as the section of the bridge collapsed underneath the Sligs. "BIRDMAN HAS COME TO SAVE US!"
Aribar looked on as the winged figure floated before them… this was neither a bird, nor a man…
But was it really Alys?
The elevator rose up into the giant UFO slowly. Elevator music played in the background. Everyone was talking about various conversations when the elevator stopped.
The lift finally opened up at the top… nothing was in sight. Abe rushed off down the hall. "Come on, guys!"
"Abe! Wait!" Munch hopped after his Mudokon pal… both returned a few seconds later followed by a trio of Sligs, all armed with rifles. The Questers made short work of the first two, but the last one seemed to evade them. Phantom fired off a Shadow Ball at him… only to miss horribly. The shadow ball screamed down the hall, smacking into an armored Slig…with a flame thrower and a napalm tank. Ignited, he went after the group, but ended up hitting the elevator. Everyone got hurt by the explosion, but the elevator remained intact.
The enemies dispatched, the Questers continued down the passage… only to run into a giant Slog by the name of SlogZilla. SlogZilla put up an incredible fight, swallowing a number of the projectiles that they sent at him, from Coop and Lemmy’s pancakes to Aribar’s wood blasts. Finally, the Slog could eat no more attacks and just barfed the energy back up on them. Almost everyone avoided… but not Sky. He took the full blast of it, and fell over, his last life lost once again. Mewtwo was able to teleport him to Sick Bay, but he was quickly booted out for misbehavior. At this point, Coop looked to Abe.
"Why aren’t you fighting!?"
"I’m outta Spooce. I can’t do a darn thing without it! …Aww, I never get what I need, this is too much stress and pressure…"
Coop had a thought… Spooce… he checked his bag of holding, and quickly withdrew a few odd green shrubs that he’d plucked when they entered the ship. He handed them to Abe, whose face lit up with joy. He began chanting, and a small blue orb formed in his hands. He sent it at SlogZilla, and, just as quickly as it had attacked, it became an ally!
SlogZilla taken care of, the Questers proceeded to the next elevator, and another save point. Abe and Munch stayed behind, however, to figure out what to do with SlogZilla.
The next floor was totally devoid of any activity whatsoever. It was torn apart, chunks missing from the walls, scorch-marks everywhere, dead Sligs all over the place… what could have possibly caused this? Could it be the work of Alys? Just as the Questers were pondering this, a beam fell on Lynk. Metal dove for him, and got him out of the way… but at the price of getting stuck under the beam himself, and at just the wrong time. An injured Big Bro Slig was moving down the passage, ready to shoot anything on sight. The Questers were torn between rescuing Metal and beating off the Slig. Eventually, Metal was freed, and finished off the hulking brute… that’s when the whole place started to come down.
They rushed through the hall, debris raining on their heads, and into a large room. Lynk and Phantom were trapped in the hall by a door, however, and were forced to try to break through it. The others, however, had their hands full battling Queen Ghoma. Eventually, Lynk and Phantom broke through, but even the little assistance they provided didn’t seem to help much. Ghoma was just about to unleash an attack to kill off Nodal, who had been doing the most damage, when a pair of huge jaws chomped on her. After being chewed up and spat out, the rescuer was revealed to be none other than SlogZilla!
The heroes proceeded to the next elevator and save point, rejoined by Abe and Munch (who were rather disappointed that they had to leave SlogZilla behind). With still several more floors to go before they reached the fortress itself, and Alys nowhere in sight, the page turned, and the Yoshis grew happier… but the Questers grew more annoyed.
As the elevator moved up the shaft, our heroes became more and more impatient. They all wanted something to happen… and it did. Several green things that looked like hands with legs dropped down on them. Abe called them "Paramites." The Paramites, which were extremely fast, still proved to be no trouble to the Questers.
Finally, they reached the prison level. Abe and Munch said their good-byes to the Questers, and left. They moved up the shaft some more, and came to Bowser’s Castle, where they met with a very familiar trio of Koopas...at least to Iggy and Lemmy.
One of them was small; the other two were VERY large. All of them spoke with a Scottish accent. The small told them that only the other two knew which direction to go… unfortunately, one of them was always lying, and the other was always telling the truth, unless of course they didn’t know the answer, in which case they BOTH would respond that they don’t know. Also, if they asked more than 3 questions, both the hulking brutes would attack whoever asked the 4th question, and then reset.
After a number of questions, with some Questers getting damaged for excessive questions, Iggy and Lemmy finally stepped forward…
"Who will be the new King when Bowser is gone?" they asked. Their response… from the right…
"Ach, I dinae know! Probably that fella with the long noose, or the woon wit te fengs!"
And from the left…
"Aye, that’d be you two!"
Iggy and Lemmy decided that the right one had to be telling the truth, because Bowser would never give the throne to them, nor would they accept it. The right one directed them down a hall. The middle one spoke again.
"Ach, be careful down there… thet’s the hall o’ memories! Nobody, not even that lass with the wings, has coom oot of THAR alive!" The Questers’ eyes widened.
"ALYS!!!" they all sprinted down the hall… and slowed to a crawl when they saw the pictures hanging from the walls. Some depicted previous enemies, like the Stalfos mech they faced a week ago, and Mega Barf. Others depicted enemies they faced BEFORE joining the quest. Aribar saw a group of bandits that had murdered his family, while Iggy and Lemmy saw the one thing that truly terrified them… Barney the Dinosaur. Finally, they came to the end of the hall, where the final picture showed a swirling vortex of colors. First, they were purple, blue, and green. Then they changed to red, black, and white… the colors then formed a picture… the picture was that of Zio.
Dark Energy WAAAAAAVE!!!!!!
In an explosion, the room vanished around the Questers. They were in a new setting now… a coliseum with blood red fog in the air. The sky was a burning red. Floating before them was the form of Zio, their former friend who had supposedly died weeks ago… but he was not Zio. His features were distorted with evil, for he was surrounded by a red glow, his hair appeared to be effected by zero gravity, and his eyes burned red…the usual bad guy attire. However, a Smash Dex scan revealed him to be under the effects of "Trance," a strange ability from another realm that was supposed to be inaccessible from their current position in the multi-universe.
Zio gave the Questers a real run for their money, but when Mewtwo showed up, the odds became evened up a bit. Mewtwo was able to confuse him for a bit, but Zio crackled with dark energy in this state, physical attacks not worth performing. Zio was able to focus an attack, however, to destroy Green and relieve him of a single life.
When Zio lost around half of his stamina, he broke free from the confusion and shed off his current form to reveal…
"DRACULA!" Aribar shouted.
"You QVHesters… are going… to DIE!!!!!"
Dracula then shifted to one of his demon forms… and a very dangerous one at that. He was able to ram the Questers for an estimated 150 HP a hit, and with great accuracy, at that. Nodal and Lynk soon fell to Dracula as well.
Things were not looking good. Dracula was still quite healthy, and three Questers were down a life; it appeared as though it would be impossible to defeat Dracula… until a strange blue light entered the coliseum, and touched the Lord of the Vampires. He was unable to avoid it, and quickly let out a scream and exploded, revealing Dracula’s human form. He cursed at the Questers with the "I’LL BE BACK!" routine, and left in a swarm of bats. Abe stepped forward.
"You can thank ME for that!"
Abe and a few VERY surprised Questers were transported to a room with two sets of stairs and a save point. They saved their progress, and Abe said his good-byes… after Metal found that Dracula had dropped a Pluto card, that is!
Iggy and Lemmy lead the group up the stairs, where they entered a cathedral type setting… HORRIBLE organ music played in the background. They burst through the doors, only to find Ganondorf playing on the organ, with Bowser sitting by, listening to the dissonance.
"Y’know, you REALLY suck at that."
"I’d like to see YOU do… what?"
Aribar skidded to a halt in front of the Questers. Ganondorf smiled at the one-armed druid.
"IT’S TIME FOR MY REVENGE!" Aribar drew his sword, Moonlight, and pointed it at the Gerudo Wizard.
"Revenge? What on EARTH are you talking about?"
"You KNOW what I’m talking about!" Aribar’s voice became angrier… he began to glow red, as did his sword.
"I’m sorry, but I don’t remember the name of EVERY fool that I dismember."
…Meanwhile, Bowser was busy talking to Iggy and Lemmy…
"It’s been too long, old man…" Iggy stated.
"Just shut up, ya ungrateful little brat!"
"Ungrateful? What did we have to be grateful for?"
"I gave you a roof over your heads and the shells on your backs. I trained ya to be the best fighters ya could possibly be. How did you repay me? BY JOINING THOSE MISERABLE QUESTERS!!!"
"You used us…"
"We were never anything more than soldiers to you, were we?"
"I’m gonna MURDER YOU TWO FOR THIS!!!" Bowser sent Lemmy into a wall with a smash combo. Iggy shook his head.
"Just like you do to those who always disagree with you…" Bowser slapped Iggy. He flew into the wall and landed next to his brother.
"SHUT UP! As far as I’m concerned, YOU ARE NOT MY SONS!" The Koopas got up and dusted themselves off.
"Good…" said Iggy, "Because you are not our father."
"All we ever wanted in life, you squandered…"
"Our hopes and ambitions…"
"I just wanted to be funny… to make people happy…"
"I wanted a good education… a good school…"
"I could have been famous…"
"I could have won a Nobel Prize…"
"But you wouldn’t let us do anything but fight…"
"And eventually, not even that."
Bowser breathed fire on the two. They got up, and dusted themselves off again…
"And now, it’s time for our revenge."
"Let’s do this thing."
Iggy and Lemmy were surrounded by a black aura. Their shells turned black, and their hair stuck straight backwards…. They were under the effects of Trance. They kicked Bowser in the jaw, and he flew into the ceiling.
"For Roy, who only wanted to help you fight…" Bowser tried to Bowser Bomb them. They kicked him as he landed, and he flew into a wall.
"For Morton, who needed a daddy more than any of us!"
Iggy and Lemmy jumped on Bowser’s head. He fell flat on his face.
"For Larry, who only wished to follow in your footsteps…"
Bowser tried to shell spin the twins from his position. They leaped out of the way.
"You only have two "children" left, Bowser…"
"One who wants only money, and one who wants only power…"
"Nobody loves you, because you are incapable of love…"
Bowser launched a pair of shadow balls at the twins. They tilted their heads as the balls of dark energy screamed over their shoulders and into a wall.
"And the one person who loved you more than anyone…"
"Your crimes against were worse than those you committed against the entire Mushroom Kingdom you seek to conquer."
The twins placed their hands on each other’s shoulders, Iggy’s right on Lemmy’s left shoulder, and Lemmy’s left on Iggy’s right shoulder. They put their other two hands together… a ball of energy formed in their hands.
"MOTHER!!!!!" the Koopalings shouted in unison. They fired the huge beam at Bowser, and it connected perfectly. "BROTHERLY HATRED!!!!!"
Bowser slammed into the wall, reduced to an embarrassingly low amount of stamina… Ganondorf fell flat on his face, also defeated by the other Questers. Lynk cracked his fingers.
"Well, that was certainly easy… but where’s Alys?" Panzer, who had showed up recently, looked at him.
"…Maybe you should have asked them that BEFORE beating them into the ground? Ugh… Dumnkoffs…"
Aribar paid no attention. His eyes were fixed on Ganondorf… who was beginning to glow Triforce yellow. He floated into the air, and let out a scream of rage…
"DID YOU REALLY THINK IT’D BE THAT EASY!?!!?? KNNNNNEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
Ganondorf transformed into Ganon once again… meanwhile, Bowser did a similar transforming act. He became Giga Bowser…
Aribar looked upon the image of the one that had removed his arm, and the pure hatred in his heart grew immensely. He glowed red, he began to float off the floor, and where is right arm once was, there appeared a spectral arm… he, like the twins, had undergone a full Trance.
As the fight was about to get under way, the highest window of the cathedral shattered. The form of Alys, glowing a fiery red, floating on the wings of an angel, lowered through it, and looked upon the Questers angrily.
"…I told you not to come after me… I said I was going to handle this myself…"
"We couldn’t let you do that, Alys." Metal responded, "We had to come after you!" Alys paused, the look of pure rage growing in her expression.
"No matter… just FIGHT!!!" and with that, the battle began.
It was a long, hard fight, but the Tranced Questers came through when needed. The Koopa twins took down Giga Bowser easily. Their revenge carried out, they reverted to their normal state… although Ganon did not fall so quickly. He fought like a demon, wielding his twin swords with the greatest ferocity. Before he fell, he even managed to take down Metal! But, Aribar prevailed, almost hacking off Ganon’s arm in the process. After Ganon was defeated, Aribar reverted to a normal state… but Alys did not.
"…Go… now… I have some unfinished business to take care of."
"We’re NOT gonna leave you here, Alys!" Lemmy responded. Mewtwo contacted them via telepathy…
"Questers, do as she says… NOW." The Questers obeyed, quickly getting back to their cargo ship… which had been stocked full of Mudokons and Labor Eggs by Abe and Munch, who accompanied them. As the ship soared off into the distance, Abe and Munch looked on at the floating fortress, disappointed. Aribar joined them on the upper deck.
"What’s wrong, guys?" Abe looked at him.
"Oh, nothing… it’s just that… usually, when we leave a mean place like that, it blows up…"
"Yeah…" Munch said in agreement.
"Well… Alys had her own plan…"
At these words, the massive machine began to explode from the inside. Alys landed behind Aribar, Abe, and Munch before returning to normal herself… all three lives regained.
"…I TOLD you I wasn’t weak!"
Later, the Questers had returned to the Melee Stadium. Abe, Munch, and all the Mudokons had left through the hole in the space/time continuum as it closed up a little, the device inside the fortress used to hold it open supposedly destroyed in the blast. Iggy, Lemmy, Phantom, and Lynk looked up at the sky from the rooftop.
"So, I guess this means that we’re gonna disband or something, huh?"
"No… there are still more enemies than them…"
"Besides, I think King Dad is gonna be just fine…"
In the distance, something gleamed… an escape pod was flying through the air. Mewtwo’s telepathic abilities allowed the Questers to hear what was going on inside…
"ACK! Get off me, ya pointy-nosed nitwit! You too, ya fanged freak!"
"HMPVH! At least I killed some of VHem!"
"What’s with those two kids of yers’, anyway?"
"I guess my genes are a little too good… Grr… I HATE THOSE QUESTERS!"
Iggy nodded in agreement with his brother.
"Yeah… I think he’ll be okay…"
Alys stood on the rooftop, looking up at the clear night sky, smiling, her confidence returned, and quite a bit of new abilities in her possession. A pair of dark knights came up behind her… Coop and his doubler clone, Cal.
"Alys…" She turned around.
"…I just wanted to say that you fought valiantly back there… I underestimated you…"
"Thanks… tell those two little brats they did pretty well themselves."
"I will." Coop turned and began to walk back into the stadium.
"And Coop…" Coop looked back.
"Tell Aribar that his swing is STILL way too slow!"