Super Smash Quest - Story - Chapter 402: Techno-Piracy

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Date: September 29th, 2007.
Metal Man (GM): Everyone is in R&R, relaxing. The data from the previous mission has been added to the dossier. However, most importantly... Snake comes in. He's holding a piece of paper. Odd. He doesn't come here often.
Digifanatic: *Apparently he still hasn't talked to Jigglypuff. We'll see after this mission...*
Dragoshi: "...Hmm?"
Metal Man (GM): An expression of concern is on his face.
Deloth: "Oh, uh, hiya, chief. What's up?"
Snake: "Hello, Questers..."
Julian: *Julian's currently... reading the newspaper. He looks up when Snake walks in?* "You're still here?"
Metal Man (GM): He turns the paper around to face Julian. In capital letters, it says... LUIGI IS MISSING.
Julian: "...And?"
Snake: "Luigi went missing shortly after his battle with Mario. We're still investigating what happened with that other Ganondorf match, and Ganondorf himself has been amiss... we suspect something's going on."
Deloth: "Uh, when is Ganondorf NOT amiss?"
Julian: "So you want us to find out what's goin' down."
Snake: "But we cannot be sure what to do about it. I'm used to following orders myself, after all. Yes... let me show you." He walks towards the Bigger room.
Deloth hops off of the chair he was sitting on, following Snake into the room.
Digifanatic: *follows Snake on in.*
Julian: "...Never gonna get to the comics." *Julian folds up the paper, gets up, and heads for the Bigger Room.*
Dragoshi: *Ker-follow.*
Snake: "Now, rather than tell you where to go, I've been advised by Master Hand to let you guys decide. It appears that without Metal Man, we cannot really home in on problems anymore... but you guys know more than I do as to what he did."
Metal Man (GM): He brings up a picture. It shows the various regions of Nintendus. There's too many to count, and they shuffle around at all times, showing the unstable multiverse-style that is the realm. Sonic, Pokemon, Mario, Zelda, Metal Gear, Earthbound, etc...
Dahl: *Wanders into the bigger room and yawns ... her hair is all messy.*
Deloth: "Hiya."
Dahl: "Hi hi~" *yawns.*
Snake: "This is your world. Now, for the information."
Metal Man (GM): He presses a button. *BEEP!* "You are not authorized."
Snake: "Sure I am!" *Presses the button.*
Digifanatic: *waves to Dahl and listens in to this--oh boy...*
Metal Man (GM): *BEEP BEEP!* "Danger: User is drunk."
Dragoshi: "...Let me try it." *Push button, get info.*
Deloth moves his hand up to cover a grin.
Snake: "Why did we have to buy our buttons from the Earthbound world again?"
Digifanatic: "Okay, who was responsible for--oh."
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi presses the button.
Dragoshi: "I don't know, but you really should've chosen a different world."
Dahl: "Hmmm?"
Dragoshi: "Do you know how screwed up that place is?"
Metal Man (GM): A side-window pops open.
Digifanatic: "Yeah... anyways."
Metal Man (GM): The window scrolls by various bits of information. * Bowser has been spotted in Toad Town, suspiciously looking in garbage cans.
Dragoshi: "...He's looking for sidekicks in garbage cans?" >_>
Julian: "Probably still lookin' for a robot..."
Digifanatic: "Yeah, that is kinda odd..."
Deloth: "It's Bowser. What do you expect?"
Julian: "I say we go down there an' ice 'em. Tired of dealin' with this menial bullshit."
Metal Man (GM): * Skid marks of some kind have been found nearby the Temple of Time. * It is unsure if Ganondorf's record in the Stadium is correct or not. Oddities have been detected. * Luigi has disappeared. * The Space Pirates have been spotted in Saffron City.
Deloth: "I vote for finding out about--Space Pirates?"
Dahl: * just kinda looks around half-dazed.*
Digifanatic: "That one catches my eye a bit more than the others right now."
Dragoshi: "Yeaa..."
Deloth: "I say we check that out."
Metal Man (GM): That's most of the information. However, Snake raises a hand.
Digifanatic: *waits for Snake.*
Julian: "You got somethin' to add?"
Snake: "Specific pieces of information may not mean to head directly to any one place. You may need to ask questions. Which is what... *grumble.* SIMBER is for."
SIMBER: *Appears behind Snake.* "Seniority rules."
Snake: "Could you at least act like a general? It's--"
Deloth: "Oooo, I sense some hostility."
SIMBER: "Never! I should be retired!"
Snake: "Then why--"
Dragoshi: "Because."
SIMBER: "Because. Just because."
Snake: "...Whatever." He stomps out.
Dahl: "...huh ?"
SIMBER: "Now, Questers. What are you most interested in?"
Deloth: "...Space Pirates."
SIMBER: "Space Pirates." An image of Twoson appears.
Julian: "Bowser. Tired of dealin' with him."
SIMBER: "Space Pirates have been seen in Twoson, talking to a mad scientist of some kind, and kidnapping random peopl--"
Metal Man (GM): *Image changes to Toad Town.*
SIMBER: "Bowser was spotted here, but isn't here anymore. You'll need to scan for information on him in Toad Town, possibly through the garbage cans. Bowser and the Space Pirates seem unrelated. Any further questions?"
Dahl: "...whats for breakfast ?
SIMBER: "..." *He idly scratches his chin, and writes 'SNAK3 SUKZ' in the dust on one of the screens.* "Beef. It's what's for breakfast."
Dragoshi: "...None that I can think of." :/
SIMBER: "Er. I can check local menus of any area you wish. Breakfast in Twoson is two eggs, with two strips of bacon, and two cups of coffee... ...what strange people."
Dahl: "...how about where we are headed ?"
SIMBER: "That's up to you people now. I only give you information."
Dahl: "...eggs ...my vote is in for Twoson."
Deloth: "I still say we head for Saffron City first."
SIMBER: "Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? There's no man in steel to tell you what to do, and his... replacements..." *He glares at where Snake was.* "Can't do it as good as he. So..."
Dragoshi: "I agree with Del." >_>
Digifanatic: "I'll take either the Pirates or Bowser."
Julian: "I wanna take Bowser out, but that's jus' one vote versus two."
SIMBER: "So... Pirates appear to be in the lead. They've been seen in Twoson, as well as Saffron City. So take your pick."
Deloth: "By the way, what's the breakfast in Saffron, anyways?"
Digifanatic: "Well, at the very worst, whatever we don't do now, we'll do next."
Dragoshi: "...Why are we talking about breakfast? Isn't it a little late for that? In any case... I'd say Twoson."
SIMBER: "Some form of rice flavored with Saffron, pancakes, and a big drink of some Fresh Lemonade."
Julian: "I don't care."
Deloth: "I'm asking for Dahlia over there, okay, Drago?"
Dragoshi: "Whatever..."
Dahl: "...Oooh pancakes ...Saffron~."
Digifanatic: "Folks..."
Deloth: "Saffron."
Julian: "Twoson."
Dragoshi: "Well, what do you say, Digi?" *Looks at him.*
SIMBER: "Digifanatic is the deciding vote.
Digifanatic: "Oh man..."
SIMBER: "Oh, Man is a location in Hyrule. Do you want to go there?"
Digifanatic: "No..."
SIMBER: "No. A location in Earthbound's world."
Digifanatic: "Hmm... we know what's gone on in Twoson, so I say there."
Dragoshi: "So... Three votes for Twoson, then?"
SIMBER: "The deciding vote is for Twoson... although you should find out why they call that one town named 'No'... Warp locked to Twoson. You may proceed to Twoson."
Julian: *Julian's outta here.*
Dragoshi: *As-is Dragoshi.*
Digifanatic: *warp!*
Deloth: *WARP.*
Metal Man (GM): Twoson. The Questers appear in a fairly medium-sized, sleepy town. In fact, the only thing making it different is the strange tracks in the soil. They lead in two different directions: One to the left, towards a residential area, and the other off to the right, to a less inhabited area. They're claw-mark like tracks. Despite the mostly paved area, whoever made them apparently preferred to walk in the planters, even if it meant stepping on flowers. There's a department store nearby.
Deloth heads over to said store. Maybe they have some info.
Julian: *Julian heads for the less-inhabited area.*
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi follows behind Julian.*
Deloth: *Not now, no. Doesn't anyone ever listen to him?*
Digifanatic: *Decides to check the store.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian and Dragoshi, and, we don't know where Dahl is going, head out to the more abandoned side of town. There, one would see a massive junk yard. The tracks lead inside, but it's got a big electric fence around it.
Julian: *He looks at how big it is.*
Metal Man (GM): Big? About 20 feet tall. No one can jump over it, at least not reasonably. There's three signs on it. 'ENTRANCE PROHIBITED' '*Space Pirate gibberish.*' 'YES, WE KNOW YOU WANT TO JUMP THIS FENCE' Apparently somebody else tried, as there's a skeleton hanging to the top of it. It looks like some giant laser cannon hit that person. The dirt around the fence is somewhat muddy. There's also a gate. To which a strip of pavement leads. The gate is locked by some strange Space Pirate mechanism. Julian lacks the right type of fingers to access it.
Dragoshi: "What to do..."
Metal Man (GM): Dust slowly collects on Julian as time continues to pass. As this goes on, a Space Pirate warps in the same place the Questers did. He proceeds to walk towards the junkyard... but sees Dragoshi thinking, and Julian standing perfectly still. He takes a rock and balances it perfectly on Julian's unmoving head, then runs away towards the other direction, chuckling as much as a Space Pirate can.
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi zooms after 'im trying to grab the Space Pirate. >_>*
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi runs after the Space Pirate. Some other people driving into the town drive by and see Julian. Thinking he's a statue, they pull over and take pictures of him--- MEANWHILE... Digi and Deloth have entered the department store. A receptionist, mostly an older lady dressed in all pink, greets them.
Receptionist: "Hello, welcome to Twoson Department store. How can I help you?"
Deloth: "Uh, have there been any reports of Space Pirates buying stuff here? Or passing by? Or something like that, anyways."
Receptionist: "You mean the Blasta Mantises?"
Deloth: "...Yes."
Receptionist: "They just came into the town and began doing business here. Mostly, they bought the junkyard, and keep visiting this guy's house. Occasionally they wander in here and buy random objects."
Deloth: "Which guy's house?"
Digifanatic: "Whose house?"
Receptionist: "Oh, the one down the street... big, white house. Brimming with gadgets. You can't miss it, with those hideous tracks leading to it."
Digifanatic: "Ah... any idea what kind of random objects they've been buying? Maybe we can piece something together out of all of it."
Receptionist: "Oh, well. Batteries, IQ tablets, and time-space distortionizers. They're on a '9 for 9999' sale."
Digifanatic: *raises an eyebrow on that last one.* "Oh..."
Deloth: "...You have a very wide selection here."
Receptionist: "Indeed. We also have lawn mowers which work with glass grass, double-sided sledgehammers, and left-handed guns."
Deloth: "Right... anyways, thanks for the info."
Digifanatic: "Alright...".
Deloth makes tracks for the house mentioned above.
Receptionist: "We're one of the biggest stores in the region. Although we seem to get less Blasta Mantis traffic these days... they say something about a place named 'Afro Clown.'"
Reception: "What could that possibly be?"
Metal Man (GM): It sounds like the name of a place clowns would go to. Or perhaps a misspelled clown place. Either way, Dragoshi can't tell. But what would space pirates do at a place with clowns? It sounds... too wrong to be true. Julian would notice... that space pirate done put a rock on his head and is running away.
Julian: *Ah reckon Julian's gonna catch up with him and beat the tar out of him.*
Metal Man (GM): *Scene combination.* Digi and Deloth leave the store. A Space pirate runs by them. Dahl is still confused. Then Julian and Dragoshi also run by. They're, coincidentally, heading towards that white house the lady mentioned.
Deloth: "...Promising." *joins in the chase. CUE THE BENNY HILL MUSIC PEOPLES.*
Digifanatic: *Might as well gang up on the SPirate!*
Julian: *KILL >:O*
Metal Man (GM): Everyone reaches the house... it's a weiiiird house. The Space Pirate runs up the steps and through the door, breaking the door in the process. The house is two stories tall, white, has about 10 windows, and a dying lawn.
Julian: *Follow!*
Dragoshi: *Kerfollow!*
Deloth: *Follow with extra onions and mayo!*
Digifanatic: *keep going.*
Metal Man (GM): It also has eight satellite dishes, three radio receivers, and inside is a checked parquet, with steps up in the middle, and a door to the left, and a door to the right, and then also two doors dead ahead, also left and right. The Pirate's gone one of those five ways,. but no one can tell which.
Deloth: "...Split up."
Julian: *Or we could blow up the house.*
Deloth takes the dead ahead door to the left.
Julian: *THEN WHERE'S HE GONNA HIDE >:O He goes to the 1st door to the right!*
Dragoshi: *Right!*
Digifanatic: *follows Deloth, make it even.*
Metal Man (GM): *Split up again.* Julian and Dragoshi run to the right. Where there is a kitchen. Hanging pots and pans, a fridge, etc... And a checkered black and white tile floor. And no Space Pirate. Dang it.
Julian: *BACKUP.*
Metal Man (GM): There's a door on the other side of the kitchen. It's wide open...
Julian: *TO THE DOOR.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian turns around.
Julian: *No, to the door on the other side of the kitchen.*
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi follows behind.*
Metal Man (GM): Deloth and Digi both follow the Space Pirate into a back room. The Space Pirate leaps across the room, which is apparently a storage area, and pulls a lever. It then falls through a trap door and vanishes. This room is dark; it's hard to see in here. The lever shines in the dark, and there's a lot of moving boxes in here.
Deloth glances to the left and right of the doorway. He looks for light switches.
Digifanatic: *Ditto Deloth if he doesn't get a good roll.*
Metal Man (GM): Digi finds it... the original light switch was removed. A new, Space Pirate one, is found to the right side of the wall. Weird.
Digifanatic: *It could be a trap, but why not... he can take a beating.*
Metal Man (GM): *BEEP!* The lights turn on... what the... It's some staging ground. These boxes are full of Space Pirate supplies.
Deloth: "...Whoa..."
Metal Man (GM): The lever the Pirate pulled is actually a part of a picture frame which shows some scientist dude.
Deloth goes over and checks out one of those crates.
Digifanatic looks through some crates as well.
Metal Man (GM): The group checks out the crate. Inside are... strange devices consisting of duct taped together batteries, time-space distortion devices, and a normal alarm clock.
Deloth: "...Time bombs, I bet!"
Deloth pulls out one of the devices and looks it over.
Metal Man (GM): The boxes seem to get more stacked towards the back, where the lever is. The device has Space Pirate-style writing on it, yet it appears a human put it together. It looks to be set to a specific time: 13:52.
Digifanatic: "Perhaps this is some recruiting or such..."
Metal Man (GM): In military time, definitely. The clocks are all set to 13:52, and they buzz slightly.
Deloth looks quickly for a wire or connection to cut on the one he's holding.
Digifanatic: *is looking through other crates.*
Metal Man (GM): Deloth sees there is a single red wire. Digi finds a bunch of blueprints for the devices, extra batteries, pieces of old cars, and a picture of the scientist with Space Pirates.
Deloth: "Alright, stand back. I'm about to do something really stupid."
Digifanatic: *holds his distance.*
Deloth puts the device on the ground, takes out his sword, and HASSAN CHOPS the wire.
Metal Man (GM): The wire's rather long and elaborately attached. It could simply supply power, or it could not. For all of Deloth's work, he cleanly separates the items. Now Deloth has an old clock, a space-time distortion machine, and a battery. 9v battery. Must be energy efficient.
Deloth dumps the clock and hangs on to the battery and distortion machine. Item get!
Metal Man (GM): Back to Dragoshi and Gujin. They're both in the next room, which is... a dining room. A small one, with a door off to the left. Hanging open. It has a chandelier and a bunch of plates set out on it, but no food. Cabinets filled with some sort of china surround it.
Dragoshi: "Huh..."
Julian: *To the left!*
Metal Man (GM): They continue to the left, and see an entertainment room, complete with big screen TV, DVDs, a large window, and a door outside to a back porch.
Dragoshi: *Might as well...*
Metal Man (GM): There's also another door to the left... but something's holding it shut.
Julian: *Break down the door!*
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi stays back, just in case.*
Metal Man (GM): Julian hits the door. Hard. *WHOOSH.* Several boxes fall over, and he's now in the room with Deloth and Digi. Digi sees a pile of boxes fall over, followed by Julian appearing in-room. With Dragoshi. Between everyone, the house has been fully searched.
Julian: *Who ya gonna call?!* "...Yo."
Dragoshi: "...Hiya." *Walks into the room.*
Metal Man (GM): The lever conspicuously sticks out, as it's not entirely retracted. Julian and Dragoshi would see it, but not know what it's about. They'd see the contents of the boxes, too.
Julian: "You guys find the pirate?"
Digifanatic: "Well, all we have to do is pull the lever... at least we're all back together." *press.*
Julian: *Pull da lever!*
Metal Man (GM): Digi pulls the lever. Wonder what it does? *Fall.* Digi and Julian fall through the trapdoor the pirate used.
Julian: *OH SNAP.*
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi follows behind. Again. <_>*
Metal Man (GM): *Falling noise.* Everyone reaches the bottom... a laboratory. A somewhat tall man with thick glasses and a white labcoat, and white hair, turns to look at the group.
Jeff Maxwell: "Hello. You are the Questers, right? I am... Jeff Maxwell."
Julian: "...Aw fuck no, YOU again. Never fuckin' ends..."
Jeff Maxwell: "Have you seen me before?" He looks puzzled.
Digifanatic: .oO(How do these things just KEEP happening?)
Dragoshi: "...Apparently so."
Jeff Maxwell: "Well. I can't explain why such is so, but if you did... tell me what he was like."
Dragoshi: *Looks for any entries in his Dex on 'Jeff Maxwell.'*
Julian: "Fuckin' CRAZY."
Jeff Maxwell: "!!! ...Then it is not me."
Metal Man (GM): Dragoshi sees two.
Julian: "Laserbeams an' robots, an' all kinda... you know."
Metal Man (GM): 'Possible Quester past' and 'Crazy Arch-nemesis'
Jeff Maxwell: "Oh... I've done my work with those, but I haven't used them to hurt anyone innocent... at least, not in my lifetime. In fact, it is my quest to help protect the world, like Ness did long ago."
Dragoshi: "...Okay, this is just strange." *Looks at the Possible Quester past first, then Crazy Arch-nemesis.*
Jeff Maxwell: "These strange bugs offered me help, so in exchange I built for them a powerful device that allows them to access any world they want."
Julian: "...Right, forgot about the whole multiverse slammin' together thi-...Tell me you didn' just say that."
Jeff Maxwell: "With their research I have verified that there was another dimension before this time. Oh, don't worry. They can visit, but it lasts for only 15 minutes a trip."
Julian: "Which is plenty of time to fuck shit UP. Where's the device?"
Dragoshi: *Anyway, about those entries on Jeff...? What does each one say?*
Jeff Maxwell: "The device?" He chuckles. "Didn't you walk by my hundreds of devices in getting here?"
Dex: "Loading..."
Julian: "I ain't got times to play games, man! The one you was talkin' about, the dimension whatever!"
Dragoshi: "You mean those boxes?"
Jeff Maxwell: *Holds up a clock attacked to a space-time distortionizer, and a 9 volt battery.*
Julian: "..." *Facepalm.*
Jeff Maxwell: "Anyone can use these. It is one of my better inventions. However most people seem frightened by them... hence the Space Pirates being the only users of them."
Julian: "Where's the pirate base?"
Jeff Maxwell: "Here? All there is is a simple junkyard. I have the key. I don't know where they come from..."
Dex: "The 'Crazy' Jeff Maxwell, a former Quester from another dimension, was a mad, senseless individual who shot people with an overpowered laser cannon."
Julian: "Hand it over, they gotta be stopped. And I gotta rip one of 'em a new one."
Dex: "He worked for everyone, switched sides constantly, and displayed no motivation above causing chaos."
Dragoshi: "And the other one...?"
Dex: "When he was a Quester, he was interested in raw power instead. In the other dimension, at least... files are a bit iffy."
Jeff Maxwell: "Why should I give it to you, when I can stop them any time I want? And even then, what are they doing wrong? I thought I was keeping a watch on them..."
Julian: "What part of Pirates and Bad are you not gettin' here?"
Jeff Maxwell: "The bad part. I haven't seen them do anything wrong."
Dragoshi: *Looks up for info on recent bad stuffz that the pirates have done... Aside from the AI trafficking.*
Jeff Maxwell: "In fact, my research, plus your machine's speech... I conclude that there was another dimension in which an evil version of me existed. He does not exist now."
Dex: "Mostly, the pirates have stolen items belonging to the galactic federation and damaged shipping routes, while hawking their own inferior goods."
Jeff Maxwell: "Hm. That would explain why they kept taking the devices into the same dimension..."
Julian: "See? SEE?!"
Jeff Maxwell: "Very well. The Pirates shall be stopped... by me."
Metal Man (GM): He turns around and begins walking towards a massive device. A teleporter, even.
Julian: "...What."
Jeff Maxwell: "With my help, Ness stopped an unbelievable supermonster. I think I can handle a couple crazy beings with guns. Their 'plasma cutters' are no match for my knowledge of rayguns."
Dragoshi: "...Huh."
Jeff Maxwell: "And I can already cause the devices to explode, although they run out of power after 15 minutes... So only the one which was dumb enough to lead you here and a few of his buddies will die initially. Anything else... 'Questers'?"
Dex: "The pirate homeworld is completely filled with pirates. Attempting to take it over is suicidal without an army.
Jeff Maxwell: "Pft. I can take them all on with my technology."
Dragoshi: "But, hey. Backup's always good." >_>
Metal Man (GM): Jeff Maxwell is obviously about to make a dumb mistake.
Julian: "We're comin' with ya. We're the professionals here."
Digifanatic: *is mostly listening in right now.*
Jeff Maxwell: "Hmm?" He turns around. "That won't be necessary. Why should I let you come?"
Dragoshi: "You obviously underestimate them. What you have in power they can easily stand up against in numbers and craftiness. Oh, and corrupted AIs. Those things are freaking nasty. But, in any case... Yes. We should come with."
Metal Man (GM): Roll a socialization check.
Jeff Maxwell: O_o "Corrupted... AIs? So they can use computers too? I didn't know that... Well, perhaps you can come... as my assistants. We'll take them all on as a group."
Dex: "There are over 2 million space pirates."
Julian: "Space and Computers are part of a package."
Dragoshi: "Yep."
Jeff Maxwell: "Pft. We can all take them on... right? All... 2 million?"
Dragoshi: "No..."
Digifanatic: "Sadly."
Julian: "That's too much, even fo' us."
Jeff Maxwell: "Then... what should I do? We can't have them run the town or invade other lands..."
Julian: "Break every single goddamn device you got so they can't use 'em."
Digifanatic: "I like that idea."
Dragoshi: "Simple. Start out small. How? Well, first we can take down their junkyard outpost, then move on to Saffron to see what they've got going on there...""
Jeff Maxwell: "Hm. Couldn't hurt to try."
Metal Man (GM): He turns to a panel, presses some buttons...
Chancé: "Gack."
Metal Man (GM): Reality warps a bit. *BOOM!* When it returns to normal... Chancé is there. Jeff Maxwell wipes some dust off.
Chancé: "Warps pipes do not normally do that. @_@."
Jeff Andonuts: "...How dumb of me. It appears that, by messing with the time-space continuum, my last name changed for no reason." He turns to Chancé. "And... you suddenly appeared. Er... hello."
Julian: "...Who're you again?"
Digifanatic: .oO(Okay, what?!)
Jeff Andonuts: "Now... the Space Pirate junkyard is gone, thanks to the explosion. But I have a request for you in turn."
Chancé: "Hello, I am Chancé, and you are?"
Julian: "Shoot."
Dragoshi: "Go on."
Jeff Andonuts: "While traveling between worlds using my own, personal device, I noticed something very strange happening... over here."
Chancé: "And Julian, don't make me pour lavender over all your clothes."
Metal Man (GM): He hands the Questers a map of... Mount Moon?
Jeff Andonuts: "It may have been my fault, because whatever it was vaguely resembled Space Pirates. When you get the time, clean up the mess. If you do so, I will be sure to make something of use for you."
Chancé: "So, if I have this right space pirates are up to something and it needs to be cleaned up?"
Julian: "Not a problem."
Chancé gets up and dusts himself off.
Jeff Andonuts: "Oh, they've mostly been cleaned up, although..." *Information #2.* "I would pay top dollar for some of their equipment. If they can work computers like their primitive blasters, then they must have something useful. I'm trying to build a true interdimensional transporter so I can help save other worlds. Ever since Ness left for some tournament, I've felt left out of the excitement. Nothing ever happened here until I found those pirates... And I have nothing to do despite my great mind. See, look." He takes out a painting that appears to constantly change colors. "Color shifting inks. And this." He points to the teleporter. "It can send one on a one-way trip to anywhere. I only thought to go to the pirate's place with it because my devices with the 9-volt battery could also do that."
Julian: "Hold it. Interdimensional transportation's a no-no, we don't want a repeat of The Void."
Jeff Andonuts: "The Void? Is he related to... Giygas? I'm asking this, because Giygas, while not interdimensional, once corrupted our realm into his own vision of evil and darkness. I'm fully aware of the dangers of transportation. That is why everything I make comes with a handy self-destruct code."
Digifanatic: "I don't think he's an intended relative to the Void."
Julian: "Close enough. He's like Giygas on a bigger scale, I guess."
Chancé: "If what some of the records say are true... I would say he was another of the voids toys."
Jeff Andonuts: "Hm, perhaps. I'd have to know this 'Void.' Either way, the teleporter would be for me alone. You, the Questers. You do exciting things, right?"
Digifanatic: "Oh yeah."
Julian: "You could say that."
Jeff Andonuts: "..." He thinks. "Interdimensional things?"
Dragoshi: "Yep."
Jeff Andonuts: "Then... perhaps I can come with you?"
Chancé: "Oh, my, Jeff, could you be hinting at something?"
Jeff Andonuts: "I have nothing to do here except get in trouble, as you demonstrated to me."
Julian: "If you want. Have'd to talk to SIMBER about it."
Jeff Andonuts: "An AI? I've only heard about them in stories. I'll come even if I have to talk to ten of them at once, unless there's something else I need to do while we're here."
Julian: "...Where the hell have you been? I'm havin' a hard time walkin' out the front door wit'out trippin' over a goddamn AI or someone stealin' one."
Dragoshi: "Mhm..."
Jeff Andonuts: "I've been in this realm." He adjusts his glasses. "There have never been any here."
Julian: "Every single goddamn week it's AI this and AI that and Someone stole an AI... but that ain't my point. Let's go waste these suckas in Mount Moon, then we'll head back to base."
Jeff Andonuts: "Hm... very well. Your warp technology would be better, though, so... you should use yours."
Julian: "Whatever." *Calls in a Warp to Mount Moon.*
Metal Man (GM): *WARP!* The Questers appear, along with Jeff Andonuts, on a side-part of Mount Moon. Tracks are definitely there, as well as Space Pirates... ones which were fried by the devices. There's also big boot-like footprints. They lead along the side of the mountain.
Chancé: "No use stating the obvious. The question is do we follow or not?"
Julian: *Follow, bitch.*
Digifanatic: *follows the prints.*
Dragoshi: *Kerfollow.*
Chancé: "That did not rule out talking all-together you know. Forget it."
Metal Man (GM): The group follows them, and eventually see a small base.
Chancé follows behind the silent people.
Metal Man (GM): Oddly, the boot prints walk all along here. It looks like they carried Phazon here, as there's some blue goo splashed about. However, the phazon containers are all gone, leaving one large radio-like device in the center. The terminal on it is blinking red. "ALERT."
Julian: "Don't touch the goo or you're gonna grow a second head or somethin'..." *I'm on a Phazon, Radio...*
Jeff Andonuts: "I'll fix this!" He walks over to the terminal and begins typing into it.
Chancé: "But you mi-- What good is it anyway, if he does something we may be able to survive the fight."
Metal Man (GM): *Beep boop.*
Jeff Andonuts: "Hmm... it appears this thing is malfunctioning." *Presses a button* "There. Fixed." He turns its back to it and faces it. "Shall we continue on, then?"
Metal Man (GM): *CLANK!* The... satellite thing... begins morphing behind him.
Jeff Andonuts: "The Space Pirates, after all, aren't very intelligent."
Julian: "..."
Dragoshi: "..." *Points to the thing behind Jeff.* "Err..."
Metal Man (GM): *Clunk.* *SHINK!* It finishes transforming... ...into a floating attack drone! Jeff turns around. "What? There's nothing at---gah!" He falls over and runs behind the Questers. "Okay... you guys stop it!"
Digifanatic: "Uh, Jeff..."
Drone: "Enemies detected. Questers et Traitor. Destroy."
Jeff: "I didn't know their computers had security precautions..."
Chancé facepalms.
Julian: "No problem..." *punches fist into palm menacingly.*
Metal Man (GM): The drone flies to attack. It has two gun-arms, a metallic, bug-like body, and two thruster-legs. BATTLE. The drone powers up and opens fire with machinegun-laser fire at Digi. It then does the same at Chancé.
Digifanatic opens up the fight by taking a quick sprint into the drone and leaps up. Quickly yanking out a golf club, he tries to smack down on the drone's head from above.
Metal Man (GM): Digi's attack cannot overpower the shots fired at him. He's hit.
Chancé jumps skips and daces around the attack in order to try and dodge it.
Metal Man (GM): Chancé dodges the attack sent at him.
Chancé: "And they said those dance classes would amount to nothing."
Julian: *Julian grinds his fists into his open palm. Oh, it's time. Prime time! Julian slides into the spotlight by getting up close and personal with the Drone, tensing up his arm muscles, then pulling back both arms and BAM! One stiff body blow, followed by BAM! Another! Julian finishes up with one more BAM! blow to the thing's midsection, and it's gotta be reeling after that 3 Pound Combo!*
Metal Man (GM): It cannot dodge, so, all hit.
Dragoshi: *So, anywat Dragoshi zooms forward and stops at the robot, then quickly pulls out his scythe and twirls it, until he slams it into the ground, causing a mighty burst of thunder to crash down, using the scythe as a lightning rod which would then create a subsequent electrical field, shortly thereafter.* (Thunder)
Julian: *Julian backpeddles after tearing appart the Drone up-close, throwing a few more phantom punches to finish getting warmed up.*
Metal Man (GM): All of Dragoshi's moves also hit.
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi dashes backwards, smirking as he saw the devastation bought upon the machine.*
Chancé: "Well, it does not hurt to try something different at first."
Chancé recalling every time he has crashed a computer, fragged a hard drive, wiped a floppy, cracked a cs, and made USB keys sad attempts to crash the robot. (Computer use: Crash)
Chancé and he trips, and falls in the mud...
Chancé: "Sigh, should of known. He takes out his bow and begins to charge. Anyway, when all else fails, go for the bow."
Chancé releases the pent up energy of the string and hopes that this attempt would not fail as badly as the last... idea.
Metal Man (GM): It manages to miss, as the drone moves to the left and out of the way.
Chancé: "Curse the Ronald Number Generator."
Julian: "You like hearin' the sound of your own voice, huh?"
Chancé: "No, just thinking of all the ways I could of made lady luck frown on me."
Julian: "Do it in yo' head, talkin's a distraction." *Aware of his own hypocrisy, Julian gets right down to business, shuffling up to the Drone and unloading on it with a ballistic barrage of lighting-fast jabs to the head! Rapid Fury combo!*
Dragoshi: "...Right." *Anyway, Dragoshi has more important things to deal with. Like giant drone thingy. Instead of arms. In any case, Drag zooms over to the drone again, and this time instead of attacking he, attempts to grab onto one of the gun arms and tear it off the enemy!*
Metal Man (GM): Hit, Julian. Failure.
Julian: *After the Drone is sufficiently dazed, Julian keeps up the pressure by crouching down, and then SHOOTING upwards with his fist outstretched to the sky and spinning rapidly, trying to catch the Drone in a vortex of pummeling pugilistic pain! It's the Little Mac special, Star Uppercut!*
Metal Man (GM): Doomed.
Dragoshi: *In any case, Dragoshi just futilely breath fiar at the drone, seeing as he can't do much else. <_>*
Chancé: "Tell me Julian, how did you get a Luck RNG? Ring, I mean Ring."
Dragoshi: *And, Dragoshi bides his time. Whee.*
Julian: "What'd I just say?" *Julian lands and backsteps away from the Drone.*
Metal Man (GM): It takes even more damage, finally crashing into the ground. It tries to attack Digi again, but Jeff Maxwell shoots it. *BLAM!* It's dead. ...Evil kill-stealer.
Digifanatic: "Thanks, Jeff."
Chancé: "Yes, but you still talked."
Dragoshi: "Think we could salvage it?"
Julian: "It's blown to bits. Salvage is outta the question."
Jeff Andonuts: "Correct... but the Space Pirate threat is over for now, thanks to the... er... pugilist's punching ability. Shall we go back to your headquarters?"
Julian: "An' how." *Julian calls in a warp home!*
Dragoshi: "Well, I suppose so... Let's just hope we don't end up on the table. Again."
Julian: 'See, now you jinxed it."
Dragoshi: "Look. Even if I didn't jinx it we'd still be on the damned thing, anyway."
Chancé: "With my luck, we will end up in the bathroom, but with Julian, it will cancel out onto just left of the table, and we will fall. *humor.*"
Julian: *Leans over to Drago.* "Seriously, who is this guy?" *thumbs towards Chancé.*
Metal Man (GM): *WARP.*
Dragoshi: "Eh. New guy." :/
Metal Man (GM): The Questers are back at HQ... and... Mission complete.

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