Super Smash Quest - Story - SSQ 1 Season 11 Commentary

Here we have the last movement of what could be called the 'True' SSQ. It starts out with the continuation of a formula which I falsely believed would become the groundwork for an entire army of seasons--the Questers, traveling from one planet to another. When this fell through however, I realized the futility of continuing a game so old and worn. So at last I realized the fakeness of my bad plots and summoned the Void to end it all.

A shame it didn't work, though. Those previous two seasons I've logged (12 and 13) are nothing compared to this one and even less compared to some of the better early seasons.

Plot Summary

Hey there. I've placed the Plot Summary in its own page over here.

Plot Analysis

Geh! Where do I start? Where... where? Well, the beginning, I guess.

...Ugh. The beginning of this season was easily THE WORST craziness I have read in a long time. Nothing... nothing made sense! It was like flipping through a magazine and pasting different pages from different articles together, then saying it was all one article. Even worse, the Dimensional Cannon never stopped popping up, despite being an utterly pointless, contrived plot item. The Ferran government was uninspired, stupid, and irrelevant. The President showed up maybe twice and was never seen again. The Archivists were a dumb idea which had no merit, and the bizarre cutscenes which were supposed to lead up to something big became useless.

The worst part of it all was this evil plan to make every, single, last season into something like that, with the epileptic insanity increasing with every season, as the Questers piled on more forgettable characters and more stupid planets until the entire thing exploded.

Other stupid things include Julian's billions of coins via a poorly-implemented bank, the constant references to Gerald Robotnik, and endless time traveling mayhem. Two of these three, coincidentally, tie in with that bad Dimensional Cannon. Ugh. Not to mention the length, which is also dumb. There's easily two seasons and a half worth of material in there--and only one season's worth that's worth anything.

There's so much material that, basically, to make discussion of it feasible, I'll classify it based on chunks. The first chunk is the Ferran idiocy, then there's a filler mission where Charles is killed. Then comes the 'End of the World' missions. I'll say what you've all been thinking, possibly--the Ferran missions had no point and could easily be dropped.

Some other problems with this season were the Charles and Glyph and rare Aetos interludes, all of them unnecessary and frivolous. Charles advanced his own plot in the background, Glyph corrupted existing plot, and Aetos mostly wasted time. Worse yet, most of them did it not out of malice, but because in my own insanity, I had decided it was good to let them do these things and continually gave them more ammunition for their wacky, out-of-place roleplaying.

Of course, these problems led to a fascinating development. Many plots, faced with the Ferran idiocy, would corrupt themselves into gibberish and die. This one did a neat thing--it turned around and began picking off, one by one, all the bad things. Every last one. So the plot went from 0 to great quickly. While it was true some roleplaying talent was lost in the transition, the transition also cleaned everything up.

Suddenly, ages of plot garbage ceased to exist. The trio of outside roleplayers ceased to interfere, my own bad plots and extra planets and Ferran all exploded, and The Void finally came to be in an epic theatrical style, fighting the Questers in a battle both longer and more deadly than the Kuja one ever was.

Additionally, the drive was still here, even during the insane, mind-rendingly bad parts. Seasons 12 and 13 felt sort of... dead... and with good reason: they had no reason to exist! This season ended it all. The Book was a poor Void wannabe; Dr. Proctor was, furthermore, an idiotic, annoying version of Dr. Archellago. While Dr. Archellago started out as a somewhat flimsy character, it was surprising to see him turn and actually destroy a threat to the Questers: Glyph.

I guess I should explain Glyph. He one programmed PHP here, and was the reason I learned PHP. About the time he was destroyed plot-wise here, he had tried to offer my webspace to another friend, Scott Gibson. I had refused the idea but Glyph tried to blackmail me over his PHP skillz. I just said no and learned PHP myself.

But plot-wise? Glyph was another problem. He had his own weird plot like Aetos or Locos, only he seemed excited to mess up the main plot and confuse the issue. He could be correct, sometimes, but most of the time he just irritated people and made a mess. Indeed. For Aetos and Charles, they were just in the wrong RPG for how they did things. Glyph, on the other hand, truly earned his destruction with how he repeatedly went on about his alternate personalities and messed up things ICly.

Some other comments: Nick really helped make the finish a theatrical masterpiece, I have to thank him for his help. While he was a bit off and weird with his insertions towards the end, his last stuff is what made this season's sum better than the parts. For in the end... the madness in the beginning was converted into fodder for the plot to destroy, cancelling out the deleterious effects of every other person being a radioactive time-travelling madman.

A final note, especially if you are of the three whose roleplaying was dissected and blown to bits--it's nothing personal. Just that, your styles did not fit. At the time, rather than just politely noting it and trying to deal with it OOCly, it wound up being fixed in the old skool way--giant explosions. And I am sorry if that way sucked, since while it made good plot fodder, it must have ticked you guys off.

As I run out of thoughts, I must also note that this season is the number one reason dimensional/teleporting mayhem is not a fixture of SSQ^2; it's just... too screwed up to understand when you take it to this level. Not that anyone should understand it, it was gibberish.

And as for the last note, I guess it's fitting I pick at how the 'Last of Kuja' this and the 'Last of Kuja' that appeared, especially that annoying crystal Sir Kuka gave Dragoshi. That crystal ticked me off--constantly checking it so I would say things in an awkward way which were hard to deal with. I hate myself for having that in there long after Ferran died--it got its comeuppance waaay too late.

So this, was the climax of SSQ. Definitely different than I remembered--I had forgotten that nonsense at the beginning. But with it logged... we can get a good idea of what more mainstream SSQ looked like.

Word Map (Made by Wordle)

This 'Climax' makes for some really cluttered word cloudage. Dragoshi is huge yet again, but the concept of Quester is also huge. This is one of Julian's golden years, as his massive name sits next to the other two. Metal Man, The Void, Alexia, Wolfman, Garrick, Glyph/Hop, Demon, Digi, Darkdata, and Master Hand all make decent appearances, though they're sort of in the background. This Season is fairly clear on who the enemy is, as The Void makes a standout appearance. Portals, evil, fire, and Zio also are here.

Not too much else to say, since it's fairly plain; nothing too unusual, except the massive clutter of words; much more was said, and many more chaotic things happened, making it hard for more than three or four words to dominate; The Void's influence is clearly at hand, here.

Cast (In order of Appearance)

Hoo boy, this one's gonna be long.

Metal Man - Leader of the Questers - Mission Thrower
Alexia - Quester - Cursed Shirt Lover
Digifanatic - Quester - Pragmatic Narrator Guy
Dragoshi - Quester - Wisecrackin' Bone Cracker
Azure - Quester - Rarely Seen Sage
SIMBER - Quester AI - Cold Data Relayer
Professor Oak - Quester HQ Staff - Popcorn Gunman
King Demon - Quester - Surprisingly Insightful Team Member
Mewtwo - Quester HQ Staff - Mind Smacker
Smash Dex - Smash Dex - Data Gathering Device
Glyph - Wannabe Quester - Split Personality Failure
Glyph [Hop] - Wannabe Quester's Personality - Naive Annoyance
Glyph [Errol] - Wannabe Quester's Personality - Threatening Intelligence
Glyph [Leviathan] - Wannabe Quester's Personality - Sly Historian
Armon - Unexplained Genetia Plot Guy - Gets a Loan, then Vanishes Forever
Ivo Robotnik - Quasi-Neutral Robotic Fake Who Makes Bad Dimensional Cannons - Makes You Want To HeadDesk
Douglas Craft AKA Aetos - Defective Quester - Prefers Magikarp Splashing Above All
Julian Sawyer - Quester - Hapless Bankster
Leo Crayson - Quester - Lionel Hutzlike Swordman

Douglas Fredericks - President of Ferran - Hollow Figurehead
Darkdata - Quester - Sporky Bard!!!
Soldier1 - Ferran Soldier - Welcome to Ferran
Soldier2 - Ferran Soldier - Freddy is Scared
Soldier3 - Ferran Soldier - Our Names Are Lies, We Are Actually Marines... OF THE AIR
Guard1 - Ferran Presidential Guard - Oh No, They Set Our BookCase Up The Bomb
Guard2 - Ferran Presidential Guard - Watch Me Disregard My Safety And Pick Up The Bomb
??? #1 - Archivist Henchman - Excuse Me While I Buy The Terrorist's Body For No Reason
Jab - Ferran Resident - Hangs Out With Assassins on the weekends
??? #2 - Wannabe Assassin - Please Shoot The Idiots, I Don't Like Them
Agent1 - Ferran Secret Agent - It Must Be Expensive To Have so Many Redundant Types of 'General Policemen' On The Force
Agent2 - Ferran Secret Agent - But We Also Must Have Two Of Everything

Archivists - Collective Senate of Magical Dudes of Ferran - Xenophobic Fetch-Quest Making Idiots
Blade - Quester - Draconic Story-Teller
??? #3 - Weapon Museum Keeper of Ferran - Has More Guns Than Sense
Guard1 #2, AKA Dark Guard - Kuja Place Guard - Why must There Be Two Guard1s???
Sir Kuka - Last Prophet of Kuja - End Times Timer

Slade - Kuja's 'Last' Commander and Bartender - Simultaneous Hypocrite Basher and Hypocrite
Teller - Kuja Bank Teller - SHORYUKEN!!!
Woman, AKA Valkyrie - Quester - Flies Outta Nowhere, then Back Again to Nowhere

Shadowy Evil - Backup Destroyer - The Threat Nobody Realizes
Tridus - Terrible Trio Guy - Even When He Attacks, He Disintegrates
Shadow - Terrible Trio Guy - Angry Confused Hedgehog
Q-Robo1 - Quantum Eggman Robot - Fond of Instant Executions
Q-Robo2 - Quantum Eggman Robot - Bad at Physics
Q-Robo3 - Quantum Eggman Robot - Impromptu Advertiser
Black Doom - Inexplicable Cameo Villain Of Suckiness - A Parody within A Sucky Mission
Canti - Leftover Plot Thing Robot - Helps Eggman For No Reason
Past Charles - Time Travel Illusion - Drinks only Coca Colaâ„¢
Past F.A.Y.T.H - Time Travel Illusion - Charles' SIMBER
Past Ricky - Time Travel Illusion - Mr. Smithers Wannabe
Regarth - Shadar Guy - Only Those Who Are Idiots Worthy May Have The Power
Shadow Aribar - Slytock Clone - Makes Cockroaches Look Flimsy
Zio - The Void's Servant - Mess You Up Long Time
Toad - Toad Town Civillian - Oh No There Are Questers
Toad2 - Toad Town Civillian - Afraid of Fire
Toad3 - Toad Town Civillian - THINK OF THE BASKETS

??? #4 - Dangerous Tech Transporter - Troubled Unlucky Sucker
Gerrardo - Revolutionary General - Frightening, Temporary Visage
John - Quester - Wacky Returned Janitor/Brawler
Past Maxamillian - Time Travel Illusion - Annihilate The Ships, Oops we Exploded
u.4 - Missingno. Type Abomination - *sound of an Electric chainsaw cutting a waterbed*!

Private Cane - Ferran Guy With Inordinate Power - Let's Plug The World-Ending Crystal Into a Teleport Machine!
Factory Manager - Ferran Manager Guy - Glitch Demon Sappin' Mah Factory!
Rathos Lell - Terrible Trio Guy - Terrible at Enforcing his Threats

Man from THE FUTURE - THE FUTURE, MAN! - Our Land is Burnt Out, Stop Fixing It
Avon - Stupid Inversion of Nova Which Never Stops Showing Up - Somehow Knows Private Cane
Grodus - Background Prop Guy - Plays Chess W/Metal
Aaron AKA Bonecrusher - Quester - Has Improbable Parents, Most Likely The Void's Creation Instead
??? #5 - 899 Years of Sleep Demon - How Dare You *KONK* *Passes out*
Executive Vlad - Team Rocket Person - WTF Is He Doing In Hell
James - Ex-Team Rocket Person - Hire Me! Please! HIRE ME NOW! ARGHHHHH!!!!
Pilot - Team Rocket Person - Don't Tell Me Twice

Maester Magellean - Unsent Lunarian Abomination - Likes To Kill Little Children
??? #6 - Displaced Kuja Soldier - This Is Getting Old
Supersoldier - Kuja Soldier - Seriously
Supersoldier2 - Kuja Soldier - Very Old
Supersoldier3 - Kuja Soldier - I'm Not Kidding
Sardis Mongul - Lost In Time Supposedly Dead Solarian Journalist - Press Any Key To Continue
Wolfman Hologram - Time Portal Illusion - Impatient for his Fighter Remote
Ganondorf Hologram - Time Portal Illusion - GNORG GLEARGH
Past Serena Gibson - Time Portal Illusion - I've Researched it a Bit
Past Garrick - Time Portal Illusion - GRAH
Jeff Maxwell - Time Portal Illusion - Release the Bogus
Santa Claus - Time Portal Illusion - Seriously, WTF?
Meier Link - Time Portal Illusion - I Give Up
The Void - 'The' Destroyer of Everything - Shows Up Early to the Party, Nobody Realizing His True Evil Plot (Also the Shadowy guy from earlier)
Zorn - Time Portal Illusion - Like This Talk Stupid Is
Hyper Trance Cream - Maester Henchman - Totally Out Of Character!
Ganondorf Copy - Maester Henchman - Loyal And Obedient, Unlike The Real One

Sephiroth - Planet Oppressing Guy - Beaten Up By Phantom Lords
The Businessman - Phantom Lord - Deal Forcer
The Fury - Phantom Lord - Phantom Fall Guy
Salesbot - Ferran Mall Hologram - Buy Dentures Now!
Salesbot2 - Ferran Mall Hologram - And Coat Hangers!
Salesbot3 - Ferran Mall Hologram - Ice Cream WHAT?
Ring Salesbot - Ferran Mall Robot - Buy, Buy, Buy Them Rings
??? #7 - Cyborg Shop Guy - One Line Only
Shopman - Machinegun Shop Guy - Incredulous At Vendetta
Man - Library Keeper - Snake Oil Salesman Salesman
Shopkeep - Accessory Guy - Sells 9 Balls
Sho-Bot - Computer Chip Seller Guy - How Many of These Are there???

Bio Lab Computer - Old Ferran Experiment - Experiment Are Escape
Holo-Scientist - Old Ferran Experimenter - BEWARE THE CHEMICALS YOU ALREADY SURVIVED!

Traon - Quester - Improbable Challenge Winner
Master Hand - Stadium Leader, 'Sealer' - Aloof, Disconnected Protector
Ninja1 - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - HYAH
Gibby - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - Tough Little Kirby
Jeff Maxwell #2 - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - Defeated By Opposites
Ruvyn - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - Alexia Destroyer
Old Man - Master Hand Trial Helper - Thug Hater
Ninja - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - Totally Different From Ninja1
??? #8 - Ghetto Hot-Dog Seller - Too Bad He Has No Name
Elevator Man - Master Hand Trial Thing - Even the Elevator Has One
Metal Man Image - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - Unfair
Agent - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - No Touch The Cake
Agent 2 #2 - Master Hand Trial - I like To Reuse These Names, Don't I?
Mr. T - Master Hand Trial Obstacle - I pity Da Foo Who Hate Cake

Janice - Quester - Just a Female Zero Recolor
Sky High - God of Turion - Turns Out To Be Some Fake, The Original One Died
E. Gadd - Inexplicable Helper - Wooyuh Wooyuh!
Corrupted Man/Men - The Void's Henchman - Corruptin' Items
Leyron - The Void's Gatekeeper - Claims There Is Something Worse Than The Void
Wolfman Hologram #2 - Stadium Device Guard - Becomes Obsolete Due To..
Wolfman - Former Quester Leader - Toad Town Taxi Enthusiast
Sable/PurrRowl/WTF - Questers - I Can't Tell Them Apart
Max the Pokemon Trainer - Old Quester Rival - Doesn't Know when To Give It Up

Arx Semallion - Quester - One-time PokeKid
Paper Grodus - Maester Henchman - Surprisingly Flammable

Garrick Fy'arr - Quester - ULTIMATE RAEG MAN GRAHHHH!
Atlantis Computer - Atlantis Computer - EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY
Nova - Undying AI Plot Thing Guy - Garrick's Henchman
Dahl Mallos - Quester - Somehow Survived Kuja's Attack Long Ago
Past Metal Man - Past Illusion - EERNT EERNT EERNT
Mack the Repairman - Old Smasher - Bank Usurper
Sheik - Smasher - Hey you. You messed up time!

Man1 - Kakariko Town Shopper - I'll Buy That!
Man2 - Kakariko Town Shopper - Make it Double!
Woman #2 - Kakariko Town Shopper - No, quintuple!
Dr. Archellago - Crazy Couch & Dimension Swindler - Twisted Conscience, Cursed Deals
Rus. T - Nautical Supply Salesman - Arr! Avast Ye!
Chea T. - Couch Salesman - BUY THE HYPNOCOUCH
Answering Machine - Toad Town Taxi Answering Machine - Press 5 to Explode

Reporter - Toad Town News Anchor - More Explosions... MORE
??? #9 - Evil Ex-Shirt Ghost - I Invite You To Bathe In Gasoline!
Pirate - Library Ghost - Arr be me!
Bird - Library Ghost - SCREEEECH

Phantom - Ex-Magellean Henchman - On a Mission
Scott Gibson - Inactive Quester - Get out your Lighter
Bob, Lord of Electric Death - Ex-Magellean Henchman - Can you Believe He's From Season 2???
FAYTH - Ex-Magellean Henchman - Collateral Damage

13 Gentleman Android - Ancient AWOL Plot Device - Thinks The Void is God
Bob - Ex-Magellean Military 2 Member - Hears about the World Ending a Lot
Joe - Ex-Arsenal of Freedom Member - It's All The Same To Him
Ricky's Video - Old Magellean Artifact - Everything is doomed! Take Everything!
Armor1 - Ex-IIF Robot - Whatever that means
Armor2 - Ex-Gerald Robot - Kill, Kill!
Armor3 - Ex-Charles Robot - HAIL

??? #10 - Corrupted Evil Genius Robot - Buy Ten Dollars Before I Rick Roll You
Computer #2 - Solarian Base Computer - Everything's Offline, Dave

Chef - TV Advertiser - BAM! Weasel!
Past Smithy - Past Illusion - I Regretfully Inform You That...
Gerald Robotnik - Past Illusion - Too Bad He Wasn't Killed Before He Went Insane
Dr. Wily - Past Illusion - Hah! *Time Travels away*
??? #11 - The Void's Smithy Illusion - Vaguely Annoying
E Li Three - Crazed Metal Temple Owner - Let's All Shred Electric Tin Plants Furtively!

Plant - SMB3 Enemy - Grumble, Grumble
Boss Bass - SMB3 Enemy - Finds Questers to be Delicious
Thwomp - SMB3 Enemy - He Smiles Too
Bowser Jr. - Bowser's Child - Try me!
Boomer - Boom Boom - Boom Boom Boom
Beemer - Boom Boom - They made him upset!
Dr. Mario - Stadium Staff - Dead-A Quester Reviver

Nega Policeman - Corrupted Ferran Policeman - Above You
Eggrobo1 - Eggman Robot - Please Procee-
Apook - Void Henchman - This Tower Are Belong to Us
Fred - Overkill 3000 Operator - Dude, Where's My Machine?

Nega Eggrobo - Inverse Eggman Robot - Next Target: The Moon

Rissk E. - Old Timey Toade - Felt Like a Blockhead
Future Metal Man - Future Illusion - And Then the Alexians Fought the Charlesians...
Guardian of Intelligence - Temple Guardian - Protects Keys from Crazy People
??? #12 - Ancient Echidna - What You Know Is Illusion
Doopliss - Undying Returning Annoyance - Doomsday Skeptic
Guardian of Ignorance - Temple Guardian - Find out on Page 34!
Trevor - Annoying Not Dead AI - Justs Wants To Be Charles
Fake SIMBER Copy - Trevor's Lackey - Does Nothing
Knuckles - Master Emerald Guardian - No! Not the Plane! Ow!
Sonic - Mobian - Amateur Photographer
Tails - Mobian - Alas, Only On Video

George Robotnik - Genetia Remnant - Alas, Good Plot Has No Mercy For Worthless Characters Like Me
Dave - Crazy Expensive Shopkeep - Nothing Like Paranoia in the Morning

Indalaceo Hallucination - Void Illusion - Broken Record of Stupid Sayings
(There are others, but seriously, you've gotten enough cast listings for fakes and hallucinations)
Uncle Chuck - Mobian - At Last! Some Real Help!

Man #3 - Ecruteak City Guy - That Tower, It Fell Down
Name Rater - Freak - Thinks Your Name Sucks
Haunter - Pokemon - Get OFF My Grave
Red - ... - ... ... ... ....
More Clones of Questers - Seriously - That's enough of those

Old Dreamlander Man - Dreamlander - Somehow knows where the Smash Emblem is
Meta Knight - Knight of Dreamland - A Suspicious Fellow

Dampe - Kakariko Graveyard Keeper - Here, Pay Me to Dig Up Stuff

Bowser - Old Quester Enemy - Ha ha ha, Punks!

Ganondorf - Old Quester Enemy - Wishes Luck???
Captain Falcon - Smasher - In it to the End
Roy - Smasher - Hai!
Marth - Smasher - Hai!
Yoshi - Smasher - YOSHI!
(All the other Smashers were also here for this mission)
Crazy Hand - Stadium Deity - No more Monologues! Ahhhhhh!

??? #13 - Void's Victim - If Only I had real Health Insurance...
???2 - Void's Victim - No infinite? Darn.
???3 - Void's Victim - Gullible

The Void's Summoned Allies - Ganondorf, Bowser, Zio, Lashiec, Dracula, Dr. Wily, Ed Glukkon, Gruntilda, Doopliss, Grodus, Lord Crump, Smithy, Phantom, SkyHigh, Lynk, Ruvyn, Tetra, Hydro, Gerald Robotnik, Meier Link, Metal Sonic, Kappa, SIMBER, Trevor, Avon, Bob Lord of Electric Death, Tridus, Rathos Lell, Sha'Fol, Sardis Mongul, Maxamillian, Denon - Dang Man, Overkill much?

Kuja's Scroll - Kuja's Scroll - A late Warning
Aribar - Quester - Back... a little late?
VG - Former Quester Leader - STILL ALIVE

Game Guru - SSS Leader - Blown Up
Knight - SSS Co-Leader - No Fair, I wanted to Blow It Up First
Deloth - Quester - Miraculously Revived
Mario - Smasher - Hapless Golfer
Luigi - Smasher - Golf Skeptic
Wario - Smasher - Hat Smasher
Shellvin K. Koopa - Golf Course Keeper - Gophers are Here All Da Time
Link - Smasher - Hawaiian Hylian
Zelda - Smasher - A Bit Under-Dressed
Peach - Smasher - Sizzling Bowser Beating Ninja
Jinarceg - Quester - FLAKE EXTREME

Final Notes

Argh, my brain. I can't take it anymore. So many logs. So many rereadings. Arrrrghhhhhhh. Er, anyway, that completes this season... the second largest one ever. And probably the most confusing one. I'll clean up the log displaying machine, then probably move on to SSQ^2 Cycle 1. Why? I need a break from all this bizarre plot-hole filled madness. Ergh.

Anyway, hope you read the next one of these, I promise it'll be less long-winded and crazy. Until then, see ya.