Plot SummaryStarting with this season and probably retroactively to others, I'm placing the plot summary elsewhere. It's too long and scares people away from the interesting bits in these commentaries. Read it here.
Plot AnalysisWow. What does one even say about this Season? It's... so long, and has so many repetitive elements. I mean, here, I'll make a chart:
Number of Times Questers Were Attacked By (Fill in the Blank):
WACKO (Grunty, early Doopliss, Waluigi, early Kappa et al): ||||||| (7)
Zio, Lashiec, Meier Link, Skeleton King, Ganondorf and the forces of darkness: ||||||||||||||| (15)
Kuja, Ruvyn/Nyev, mid-era Doopliss and the Axiom of Balance: |||||||||||||||| (16)
Late-era "Rogue" Doopliss: || (2)
The Void, Matek, Gerald Robotnik, Kappa, Avon: |||||||||||| (12)
Team Rocket: ||| (3)
Dr. Robotnik (Despite the fact he was supposed to be DEAD / in the X-Zone): ||| (3)
Whalleranians/Thieves/Assassins: ||| (3)
Smithy & Grodus & Lord Crodus & Grodus II: |||||||||| (10)
Lynk: || (2)
Lumis Dongthar / Bob, Lord of Electric Death / other Charles things: ||| (3)
E Li Three: ||| (3)
So using this we can see a clear dichotomy about what this is about. This season generally is about the rise of the Axiom of Balance, which was an organization made up of various villains. Their goal? To help Kuja rise over everyone else. Presumably by sharing power in a 'balanced' way, they would be able to offset the relative loss in power by giving leadership to Kuja. This of course, was an ill-fated endeavor for all except for Gerald, who 'joined' it but never really played by the rules (and so attacked enough on his own to be considered his own entity.)
The second aspect, but the first one chronologically, was WACKO. A forgettable acronymed group that meant to do the same sort of thing, only much more boringly. They wished to win by destroying the economy of 'Nintopia', and therefore allow Gruntilda the Hag to become the richest person on the planet. Somewhere along the lines was an assumption this meant she'd rule the whole thing, and her followers would profit handsomely.
The third major faction was just... bad guys. Evil dudes. Lashiec, Meier Link, Zio, et al... they all served the concept of negative energy, evil, and zombies. All they wanted was to ruin Nintopia/Nintendus forever so it could become an eternal graveyard of dead people and evil. It was all very bleak. However, in their short-sighted nature, they never built up any significant inroads to ruling Nintendus: only a series of strongholds that were then exploded.
A lesser light, the Grodus and Smithy group... basically leftover plot from Season 3 and 2. The idea was that Smithy had been done wrong the first time, so he and Grodus would do it better this time! ...Plus I was a fan of Paper Mario 2 and wanted to extend my usage of it endlessly, so basically it was a shameless overuse of characters I liked for literally no reason. Their only contribution was to cap off the 'X-Zone Project' plot by explaining how it was their way of seeking the ultimate weapon to defeat all foes and rule Nintendus.
Lesser plot threads are easier to explain. Team Rocket had literally no point other than as a joke. Whalleranians were just there to help Aribar learn to GM (but he chose, ultimately, to never make SSQ his home place to GM.) Lynk was a stand-in for when the Questers had no guts and failed to fight Kuja properly. E Li Three was the actual secret final bo--he was E Li Three, there to be a troll.
So, with the idea of the enemies, I'll describe the easier to explain 'allies' in short. First up... Nintopia, the faction of Ivan Robotnik. Ivan had made the world the 'good future' and as such, ran the world. He and the ALBERT system, consisting of Nova, SIMBER, Metal Sonic, E. Gadd, Wolfman, and others, protected Nintopia, the name of the country that was the entire planet. His only problem was he was somehow unable to think of just simply blacklisting Grunty's cheap goods, and similarly, failed to imagine the idea of an army or just destroying Kuja's Axiom of Balance outright. Heck, he didn't lift a finger the entire time, hoping the Questers would just resolve everything for him. Thus, he and his system were more of a fruitopia, and as the season went on, people called the world a more neutral 'Nintendus' and forgot about the 'Nintopia' world-spanning country that supposedly existed, but no one would lift a finger to defend.
The next was Sha'fol and the Solarians: a key to a pointless plot about how everything is connected. Nothing is, canonically, anymore, so Sha'fol now can mostly be seen as an amateurish attempt to create a 'founder' of Nintendus and backstory that didn't need to exist. Sha'fol therefore in this season tries hard to make everything make sense and help the Questers, but ultimately is forgotten so badly that when I first read Season 6, I couldn't even make out what he was supposed to be. Then he was basically never spoken about again. Ouch.
Shadow the Hedgehog, aka the only competent ally, would then proceed to try to clean up after all the endless messes and train the Questers in actually useful (chaos emerald-based) tactics. Sadly, it was too little, too late, and Shadow had no choice but to observe it all fall apart.
Then we see... basically nobody else. That's right, the Questers were mostly on their own all season long, with enemies actually stepping in as friends because they had none. Mewtwo was the closest thing to a friend and even then he didn't do all that much.
Worse yet, the group was actually run by a bad guy--Illian MacGregor, the fake Metal Man. The Solarian in disguise who claimed to be 'Neo-Earthian' and then proceeded to lead the Questers to their doom. He drove the car underwater. He gaslit Garrick. He threatened Tetra. He imprisoned Charles Magellean. He openly aided in the fall of Nintopia and the Stadium because it'd benefit him. He was openly speaking of how psychotic he was. He had enough power to destroy any enemy, and yet allowed Kuja to defeat him. Why? ...Because defeating Kuja would make him a hero beyond measure. It would give him a planet that would do his bidding. And all the Chaos Emeralds. With that, he could do anything! Thus... I dub him the predecessor to Psycho Illian, and ultimately, a villain in disguise.
So what was the plot, in a nutshell? After all, these are all discordant concepts. Well, I'll tell the abridged version. Why? ... Just... just look at the summary. It will melt your brain, and teach you why not to GM a massive plot without any plan when you're only 14-15 years old and barely can write. The abridged version, now... that should seem a lot neater, don't you think? So here it is:
In the aftermath of Season 3, the world became known as Nintopia, the paradise run by Ivan Robotnik, inhabitor of Eisnaught. The city of blue skyscrapers. But a problem was brewing. Gruntilda the Hag had rigged all the prices of all the world's goods, and threatened to destroy the economy and bring everything down. So the Questers were dispatched to make it all better, on behalf of Nintopia and Ivan Robotnik.
After many battles and encountering new and old foes alike, the Questers... did not defeat Grunty. Instead, a rogue enemy of the Questers detonated the final phazon bomb and irradiated Grunty's operations, then the Questers failed a quiz show about the final ship Grunty had... allowing a new foe, Kuja, to decide the fate of Grunty's operations. Interestingly, he opted to destroy the operations, and so, Kuja saved Nintopia instead of the Questers.
This new savior gained many new allies, including some of the enemies of the Questers. He asked all to 'Have Faith' in his ability to save them all. But the leader of the Questers would not have it. He connived everything to make things end the way he wanted it to--intentionally sending the Questers on idiotic and insane errands in the hope they'd mess up. Sooner or later they did, summoning a massive skeleton that nearly destroyed the world, and also reviving The Void. The first time, Kuja had to save the world again; the second, thankfully, the Questers actually cleaned up after themselves.
Haunted by past failures, the Questers learned of the three ancient factions of Nintopia -- the Maricians, the Whalleranians, and the Solarians. They used their knowledge to unseal an ancient temple, hoping to save the world well and truly. Instead they accidentally made their worst foe, Kuja, a God--and were banished to another world for their folly, cementing Kuja's control over the now dubbed 'Nintendus.'
Quite a downer, isn't it? But that's it, in a nutshell. Zio, Gerald, Doopliss, Grodus, Smithy, Lumis... all extras and sidecars on this one-way trip to another dimension. Grunty herself barely even mattered! So what is there more to say? Not a lot, to be honest. It was too long and rambly, repeated itself over and over again...
But one final aspect should be emphasized: it was fun to play, even if it wasn't fun to reread or to make sense of. So in that aspect, this season was better than 1, 2, or 3. But it obviously isn't very good plot-wise. But sometimes, maybe that's okay. I mean, does everything have to be a magnum opus? I don't think so.
Word Map (Made by Wordle)
Well, that's quite a mouthful, isn't it? Kuja right in the center, then Metal over next to him. Then we got Garrick, Aribar, power, and Questers and Gibby featuring pretty well in the midst of it all. And a bunch of dark things like bad, dark, Gerald, destroy, evil, gone, kill... alongside such internet terminology as www and com. Lumis is there, Deloth is there, Smithy is there... VG and Wolfman are there... also Nintendus, Mewtwo, Tetra, and Lynk. This is a very inclusive image, as we also have Zio in here, and 'people' as well as Doopliss and Shadow. So basically even with The Void there, trapped in a continuous death battle where both normal and weird are side by side... as well as constant words about life, death, bad, good... oh, and what a novelty! As this was Julian's first season, he doesn't (yet) dominate the entire image!
So basically this wordle gives a pretty epic thought: a world in peril, with constant fighting between huge amounts of characters, all fighting for control. Light, magic... planet... force... ...even the word 'blue.' Computers, weapons, buttons, consoles, guns... there's equal parts hope and 'never' in this picture. If only the actual season were this interesting: It has way more detail and evocative concepts than the logs themselves, and as such, is great to look at, but also a bit of an illusion. Never consider the actual season this good: just find this image amusing and move on, and maybe imagine your own, way better season, where constant opposing concepts battle over the fate of the planet itself.
Top 10% Logs of this SeasonGiven this season has tons of logs, this feature is both ill-advised and amusing. A whopping 8 logs to decide... and how am I to remember which is which? This season is way too bloody long! Oh well, I'll try my best...
Number 8: Chapter 139: Death of a Jentanian
A surreal session in which Aribar's death is arranged by WOLFMAN of all people, and all the Aribar haters work together. Also, Nova beats up Lumis Dongthar, which he richly deserves for being an overpowered jerk.
Number 7: Chapter 176: Recipes of the Solarian Temple
It's an okay session that explains what the Axiom of Balance is. But it's only okay. I only reference it because it gives an idea of what the main enemy faction is, and also of the Solarians. Once again, Charles gets his butt kicked too. Seems to be a theme... why did he keep persisting when it seems he did nothing but lose? Who even knows...
Number 6: Chapter 141: Extreme Underground Waterfall Driving
The infamous meme about Illian driving underwater got its start here. He was such a bad driver, he drove off road, into a cave, off an underwater waterfall! Then the Questers pretend to be other people and have a bizarre stealth mission to get past some rebels! Basically it's a really surreal log and probably worth a glance.
Number 5: Chapter 162: The True Plot Begins
Lynk decides the Questers suck and completes their mission for them! A gigantic Phazon bomb annihilates Grunty's tower! Actual plot progression occurs for once in this forsaken season! Then he takes Charles' stupid Valhalla and decides to weaponize it against Zio, who is entirely unneeded! The only unfortunate thing is that I never went full-hog and let him just demolish all the things. Plus, it caused Charles to back off from the game a bit... which, to be honest, should have been followed up with pushing him aside entirely. The Season would have benefited greatly.
Number 4: Chapter 202: The Horrors of the X-Zone Project
Finally I conclude the X-Zone superweapon plot. Finally, I get the guts to explode that stupid Second Moon. Finally, I stop pulling my punches and have actual character death and destruction. The Questers are forced to bargain with corrupt X-Nauts just to try and reduce the damage possible, but in the end, they must reckon with the truth: Smith and Grodus have been around the block too many times to fall for the 'corrupt lackey' trick. Also, the group fights X-Zone monstrosities with epically corrupted names, and this is an actual dungeon with traps and maps. So in essence, probably one of the more complete and eventful sessions. Unfortunately, as usual, I 'run away' from the conclusion and undo the destruction the very next log. Bah. Bah, I say!
Number 3: Chapter 174: Wolfman Team Presents: Quester Driving Simulator
Surreality hits a new notch as Doopliss curses the Questers with insanely weird status effects. Long story short, the Questers actually get locked into a building and need the help of... TEAM ROCKET??? to get them out. Then they drive insanely, hobbled by their curses. The entire way, they're forced to use the most creative means to get around and get away from the curse, even fleeing confused Eisnaught police as they insanely crash and drive in places no one should drive into. It's a bit of deranged fun that isn't as angst-ridden as most of this Season is, so definitely worth a look.
Number 2: Chapter 131: Techno-Frisbee Adventure
The group discovers Nova, one of the main characters / plot objects of the season. They also have a decently normal adventure that seems to check all the boxes for a decently run dungeon crawl. Along the way, they fight Grunty's goons and the WACKO-affiliated Doopliss. They are assisted by one of the few non-insane NPCs, Lizzy the Lizard, who doesn't have some secret plans or other nonsense to clutter up the narrative. Yeah, it may seem odd that I rate highly a session where things just go smoothly, but, let me tell you. That's a breath of fresh air compared to the ultra-dense, ultra-convoluted plot garbage that seems to clutter this season's sessions.
Number 1: Chapter 128: The Time of Dark Temples
This one is rather nostalgic for me. Back when midis were a thing, back when old Geocities was a thing. Back when sessions were simpler, and people would just not question random Halloween-themed sessions in the middle of January. I could just session without worrying about so many variables, and people would just be around. But as my character said in the log, "The old days are gone." So read this log and remember a time back when things were a bit simpler, and games were just games. Sure, the ending in the next chapter kinda sucked, and so did some of the characters played by others... but the other important significance is Yurie being there... and in general, the great drama wave that damaged the game and reduced the number of players mid-season hadn't hit yet.
It just makes me a little sad to think about it, what I wasted with all that fighting so long ago... and how overcomplicated I made this season. Couldn't it have just been a bunch of sessions like this? Have it lead up to the same ending, sure... but nobody needed pages of dialog about the ancient civilizations. Nobody, including future me, ever wanted it. It was just an attempt to 'fit in' that didn't work. So I sacrificed sessions like this for... blech... stuff like that boring ending session that was all text. How depressing.
My final note on these: Sort of a downer, to be honest. There weren't many 'great' sessions in this gigantic mess, just a huge quantity. The handful that were good were often of a style that... went out of style in favor of convoluted messes I detest. So... yeah. Pick through the wreckage like I did, you might (key word: might) be mildly entertained.
Cast (In Order of Appearance)This one took almost a month to do. Ow, my brain. Ow, my hands.
Charles Magellean - Not Really A Quester - The Annoying Tinnitus Noise That Keeps Interfering With SSQ
Bob, Lord of Electric Death - Not Really Dr. Robotnik - A Novelty Season 2/3 Villain That Now Is A Plot Hologram
Garrick Fy`aar - Quester - Nova's Best Friend; Questionably Effective Quester
Aribar - Quester - Plot Token Everyone Fights Over
Mewtwo - Stadium Staff - Sole Voice of Reason
Yurie - Quester - Leader of Valhalla and Victim of Gerald's Reality Warp
Smash Dex - Quester Tool - Constant Stat-Dump Device
Lango - WACKO Goon - One-time annoyance
Police - Eisnaught Offical - Hapless Defender of the Peace
Charo - WACKO Goon - One-time annoyance
Metal Man - Quester Leader - AKA "Illian MacGregor", the Psycho Pretender to Being "Metal Man"
Bowser - Ex-Smasher - Hapless Bystander
Doopliss - WACKO/Axiom of Balance/Independent Contractor - Everywhere and Nowhere, at the Same Time
Klungo - WACKO Goon - Grunty's Hapless Helper
Phantom - Dead Quester - Evil Gun Salesman
Wolfman - Quester Ex-Leader - Still Needs an Intelligence Chip Upgrade
Gibby - Quester - BU-BU-BUTTON! Presumed Still On a Shelf Somewhere
Digifanatic - Quester - Sending Mail to the X-Zone, No Worries Guys, Nothing Wrong With That
Deloth - Quester - The Early Era Deloth We Forgot
Zeni - Aribar's Relative/Friend/Something - Plot Token
Pat - Quester / SSS Superpower - The Somewhat Bland Observer
Thief 1, Bandit 1, Bandit 3, Thief 5, Bandit 2 - Thieves - We Get It, They're Thieves
Gnome - Earth Elemental - Doesn't Like The Way You Look, Kid
Undine - Water Elemental - Almost Forgets To Block The Way
Salamander - Fire Elemental - The Great
Jinn - Wind Elemental - Hapless Victim of Illian's Cheap Infinity Blade
Tordek - Thief Leader - Doesn't Believe In Earthlings
Professor Oak - Stadium Staff - Ephemeral Helper of Machinery and Pokemon Related Concerns
VG - Quester Ex-Leader - The Creator of the Infamous Poison Cake
SIMBER - ALBERT System - Occasional Guardian of the Peace
Guard - Hyrule Castle Town Guard - Evacuation Expert
Palom & Porom - NIAF Units - Annoying Ness-like Helpers
Espen - NIAF Unit - Yurie's Flunkey
Red, Yellow, and Blue Ghost - Temple of Darkness Attendants
Zebus - Cursed Armor - The Insane
??? 1, 2, 3 - Normal People - Victims of the Cursed Armor
Matek - The Void's Heir - Wannabe Metal Man
Sumner - Gauntlet Legends DM - Wolfman's Strange Follower
Zio - Dark Force's Servant - Errand-boy of the Darkness
Fire Brother - Koopa Troop - Evil Toll-Taker
Dr. Mario - Stadium "Staff" - Your Coins or Your Life, Pick-a Only-a One!
Link - Smasher - Unhappy Winner of Garrick's Useless Item
Announcer - Stadium Staff - So that's the Guy Who Says Who Won...
Newscaster - TV Employee - Reporting on Garrick's Failure
Star Fox - Smasher - Addicted to Gambling
Toad - Stadium Staff - Purveyor of Gambling
Kirby - Smasher - Smash Dex Eater
Nova - ALBERT System - The One True Nintendus AI
Lizzy - Friend of the Questers - Short-time Psychic Cameo
Dark Koopa - WACKO Goon - Doesn't Remember "Phil"
Duo Koopa Brother - WACKO Goon - Procedure-follower
Avon - WACKO/Axiom of Balance Machine - Wants nothing more than the destruction of Nintendus, until he Doesn't
Mr. Game and Watch - Stadium Staff - BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP NEW GUN
Mario - Smasher - OH-A NO THE FLOATING-A BOOKS!
TV - Stadium Equipment - Kremling Kard Only
Lumis Dongthar - Dark Mimic Master - Annoyance That Doesn't Need To Exist
Grunt 1, 2, and 3 - WACKO Goons - Secretaries of Grunty's Evilness
Gruntilda the Hag - WACKO Leader - Badly Rhyming Economy Destroyer
Space Pirate - Gwihdoqwuqu - uiwgfrwWWd
Slig - Gwowiuhwoud - Swfuiwgbfeiouefhuwe!!!!
Elite Space Pirate - Forces of Darkness - KILLLLLL
Hammer Brother - WACKO Goon - Heh Heh Heh. *Eats Cheese Doodle*
Quedors - Neo-Earth Soldiers - Non-Canon Evil Dudes
"John Smith" - Not Actually Neo-Earthian - Just another Fake Person
Unit Glyph - Neo-Earthian AI - Some other Dumb Plot Thing
Cleric 1, 2, 3, 4, et al - Valhalla Staff - Some Other Wacky Stuff Yurie GMed
Dark Force - Leader of the Forces of Darkness - The Background Behind The Constant Attacks
Dr. Ivan Robotnik - Leader of Eisnaught, Nintopia, and the ALBERT System - Somewhat Hapless And Lazy Leader of the Free World
(Disembodied Voice) - Forces of Darkness Entity - Zio's Groupie?
Shadow Aribar - Forces of Darkness Entity - Really, REALLY wants Aribar Dead
King Demon - Quester - As Confused As You Are About This Plot
Fred the "Spanyard" - Neglected Character - Reduced to Showing Up Here Now That NC Is Dead
Biggs & Wedge - Neglected Neglected Character - There Was Actually A Reason These Guys Were Neglected
Donez - Neglected Character - We dare not say his Full Name
E Li Three - Nobody's Side - Zany Factionless Psychotic Murder-Puppet
Meier Link - Forces of Darkness Entity - A Lesser But Still Aribar-Hating Person
Metal Sonic - ALBERT System - Still has the occasional Glitch
Attendant - Stadium Staff - Gambling Enabler
Luigi - Smasher - The Only One Who Believes In Aribar
Spyke - Quester - Questions Quester Violence
Knights - Old-Earthian Entity - DESTROY
Statues - Old-Earthian Entity - QUESTERS
Alcatraz - Old-Earthian Entity - WITH TRAPS
PA - Old-Earthian Entity - IMMEDIATELY
Smithy - Co-Leader of Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Angry At All The People Who Fail Him, Constantly
Meta Knight - Smasher - The Past Cannot Destroy the Future?
Console - Old-Earthian Entity - Probably A Good Thing It Was Shut Down
Rebel - Silvia Lumpus Organization Member - Oblivious
Negotiator - Eisnaught / Nintopia Member - Ivan Serves The Will of the People
Thug - Silvia Lumpus Organization Member - What's your laundry all about?
Elevator - Doughnut City Building Machine - Welcome to Minus World
Professor Tibbins - Quester in Disguise - Remember Your ID Badge
Wolf (Chewy) - Quester in Disguise - *Angry Star Wars Noises*
Random people - Random people - Random people
Waluigi - Smasher? - Strangely, Not Evil This Time
CAC - Quester Tool - First the MTA, now This Also Talks...
Koopas - Koopa Troop - Standing On Duty
Guard 1 and 2 - Eisnaught / Nintopia Members - Ivan Closed the Temple
Nyev - Axiom of Balance Member - Ruvyn's Snipery Alter Ego
Deku Scrub - Lost Woods Being - Beware the Maze of Wonder!
Kappa - WACKO / Axiom of Balance Member - The Magical Unstoppable Super-Robot
Shadow Queen - Forces of Darkness Member - Temporary Cameo, Then Never Seen Again
Ganondorf - Forces of Darkness Elite Member - He Must Rule This Pathetic Land
Tridus - Quester - The Unwanted Encore
ALBERT - Central AI of the ALBERT System - Appears all of Once or Twice, Then Isn't There When Needed
Grodus - Co-Leader of the Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Totally Going To Predict Taking Your Victory Away, Tetra
Grunts - X-Naut Members - *Makes X symbol*
Jesse - Team Rocket Member - Wielder of the Lethal Bowling Ball Polisher
James - Team Rocket Member - The Hapless Victim
Meowth - Team Rocket Member - Expert Thief
Revenant Ruvyn - Axiom of Balance Member - Kuja's Right (or is it Left?) Hand Man
Kuja Tribal - Axiom of Balance Leader - The One, The Only, The True Foe Of The Season
Star Steel - Past Quester - Long Gone
Kinnin - Quester - Makes a Surprising Return Later On, Despite First Showing Up In Here
Alys - Past Quester - Was Unable To Stop The True Evil
Mack the Repairman - Smasher - Hard of Hearing Hard-Working Repairman With Deadly Moves
Goron - Goron Settlement Shopkeep - Still Talks Like Moles From Redwall
Guards (1, 3, and 4) - Forces of Darkness Entities - The Questers Are Over, Embrace Invisible Zio's Guards Instead
Scientists - Forces of Darkness Entities - Obliviously Programming Evil
Armor - Forces of Darkness Entity - Prototype or Successor to 13 Gentleman Android Armor?
Koopa Samurai - Ninja Associate - Spoony Metal Man, Get Away!
Goomba - Ninja Associate - Haki-taki Yah!
Shyguy Nightblade - Ninja Associate - Quester Catcher
Shyguy - Ninja Associate - Would-be Game Master
Koopa - Ninja Associate - Hey, Heal Him Already
Toads - Innocent Normal People - Prisoners of the Ninja
Garrick's Dex - Quester Tool - It will take (one round) to kill everyone...
Boo Shadowwalker - Ninja Associate - Prepare for Battle, Stupids!
Toad 8 and 9 - Innocent Normal People - Ahhhh! Oh, You're Here to Rescue Us
Bill - Master Ninja - What Are You, Braindead?
Ben - Master Ninja - Ah, The First Intruders To Get This Far...
Pseudo-Cube Bazooka - Quester Tool - Destroyer of Bens and Many Other Foes
Toad 10 - Innocent? Normal ? Person - Maybe a Bit Megalomaniacal about the FireBright Sword
Esprinto - Not Really A Quester - Psychotic Idiot
Starmen - Forces of Darkness Entity - Destroy, Attack, Defeat
Azure - Quester - The Unfortunate Owner of the Cursed Spirit Charms
Kremlings - Forces of Darkness Entities - Arrr, we be Misplaced Pirates!
Pikachu - Forces of Darkness Entities? - WTF was I Smoking This Session
???? - Forces of Darkness Entity - Welcome to Master Hand's (Evil) Base!
Ricky - Magellean Military Member - Technically His Own Side Since Charles Has No Interest In Running His Own Empire
Lakitu - Stadium Staff - Underappreciated Countdown Maker And Cameraman
computer - Forces of Darkness Entity - game completed
Deathzooka - Quester Tool? - Wait, Where Did VG Get This?
Master Hand - Stadium Staff... or Adversary? - What does he even Do When Not Fighting The Questers
Crazy Hand - Stadium Staff... or Adversary - Ditto
VG (Evil) - Corrupted Quester - Oh no... a FOE with RED ESSENCE!!!
Star Wolf - Forces of Darkness Entity - True Enemy of Star Fox
Arena Guy - Stadium Staff - Summoner of Random Events
Pigma - Forces of Darkness Entity - Just the N64 version
Peppy - Star Fox Member - Do a Quick Cameo!
Guy - Innocent Normal Person - Hit By Tornado
Mr. Game & Watch - Stadium Staff / Smasher - General Purpose Salesman
Super Dex - Quester Tool - Illian's Response to the "Mark 5"
Shuttle - Magellean Military Tool - Bob's Personal "Eggshuttle"
Man - Future Earth Inhabitant - Background Person
Falco - Star Fox Member / Smasher - Would Prefer To Fight Space Scum
Slippy - Star Fox Member - Glad to Invent Again
Gerald Robotnik - Eternal Chaos Entity - He will STEAL YOUR SOUL!
Reporter - Nintopia Reporter - This Just In: This Planet Is Falling Apart!
Robots - WACKO Goons - Don't Break That Box
Defend Robots - WACKO Goons - Summoning Backup
Destroy Bots - WACKO Goons - Terminate Intruders
Lynk - Quester / Adversary - The Predecessor to Psycho Illian?
Lynk 2 - Lynk's Doubler Partner - Wow, Already 2 Of Them
Trance Lynk - Tranced Quester / Adversary - And He Can Do Trance, Too?
Robos 1-3 - WACKO Goons - Intruders, Send Backup
Ness - Smasher - Puts the Literal SMASH in Smasher
Mumbo Jumbo - Would-be Ally - Not Really Rescued
Kazooie - Would-be Ally - Would Rather Stick Questers In Cubes
Banjo - Would-be Ally - Pointlessly Hopeful
Samus - Smasher - Tolerating Exactly None of Garrick's BS
Azure's Dex - Quester Tool - Describes What Radiation Is
Jigglypuff - Smasher - Threatened by Esprinto
Trigger - Quester - The Trigger Before He Became the "Nintendo Master"
Mr. T - Quester - Pities Da Foo' That Picks On Wannabe Psycho Illian
Robot - WACKO Goon - Robots Can't Lie... OR CAN THEY
Captain Falcon - Smasher - Mockin' the Newbie
Zelda - Smasher - Describer of the Triforce Situation
Yoshi - WACKO Goon - Wants that Sweet Ride
Ninji - WACKO Goon - Ki-yah! Ki-yah! Ki-yah! Ki-yah! Ki-yah! Ki-yah!
Gangsters - WACKO Goons - There's Three, no, Four of Us, Idiot!
KlumsyBot - WACKO Goon - Wait, You Fell For His Disguise?
Locos? - Quester Illusion - Is He Real, Or Is He Not?
George Cain - Axiom of Balance Member - Evil Provider of Drugged Drinks
Sonic - Lost Character From Another World - Victim of the Dimensional Disaster
Super Sonic - Superpowered Lost Character From Another World - We coulda used him later on...
Tails - Lost Character From Another World - Skeptical of this Nintopia Business
Knuckles - Lost Character From Another World - Zero Tolerance of Ghosts
"Danny" Daniel Johanson - Digi's Friend - Very thin and part of the Track Team
Ken - Digi's Friend - Lovebird from Japan
Mr. Saturn - Mr. Saturn - No HeLp FoR yOu
Orlando Florida - Forces of Darkness Entity - No, I've Got To Annoy You Some More, You Can't Send Me Away!
Agent Golden Guy - Forces of Darkness Entity - ALL THE COINS BELONG TO ME!!!
Julian Sawyer - Quester - The Beginning of the Legendary Pugilist Quester's Adventure
Grodus-Bot A - Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Terminate
Grodus-Bot B - Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Destroy
Cornelius - Quester - Umbrella
Shadow the Hedgehog - Quester Ally - One of the Few Competent Allies
Grodus bots - Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Even More Destroy
Yolei - Digi's Friend - Perceptive of How They Are Really Sorta Unrelated to SSQ
Ari's Dex - Quester Tool - Praise for the Locos Clone
Mr. Patch - Quester Ally? - Note To Self: The Zelda One, not the Banjo-Kazooie One
George - Axiom of Balance Entity? - Some Sort of Cardboard Cut-out
Giovanni - Leader of Team Rocket - Confused Ally of the Questers???
RocketGrunt - Team Rocket Grunt - Team Rocket Gru--I mean, Jeep Provider
Policeman - Eisnaught Staff - Actually Has The Guts To Chase Questers
Credit Card Bandits 1-3 - Forces of Darkness Entities - Failed To Sell VG A Card
Slightly Rich Shoe Bandits 1-3 - Forces of Darkness Entities - Aribar's True Nemeses
Zip Toad - Innocent Normal Person? - Seemingly Not A Fake This Time
Golden Warrior - Smithy Gang/X-Nauts - Finally Gets Used For Evil
Hackoth - Fake Solarian - Sealed In Book
Silvia - Cooking Ghost - She'll Beat You In Both Fighting And Cooking!
Fanatic - Fake Solarian - He Shall Show You TRUE Power!
Dr. Light - Stadium Staff - Creator of the Amazing Flying Surfboard Sword of Light
Toady - Normal Innocent Person - Helps Drive after Crazy Dr. Light
Sha'Fol - Fake Solarian - The "Founder" Of Nintendus (NOT)
Chair - Magellean Military Device - CLOCK. CLOCK. CLOCK. CLOCK.
Attendant 1-3 - Axiom of Balance Members - Strange, That's Not What Usually Happens In Our Base...
Lord Crump - Smithy Gang / X-Naut / Axiom of Balance Member - Captain Destroy Eisnaught
Dr. Wily - Axiom of Balance Member - Still up to Evil after all these Years
Tetra - Quester - Always Concerned About Being Denied His Victory
Police 1-3 - Eisnaught Staff??? - Easily Duped Lawpeople
ToeJam - Space Alien - Hears VG's screams
Earl - Space Alien - Doesn't know what they are
Wario - Smasher??? Villain??? - Throws Lead Bars, Finds Ancient Artifacts
Lord Crodus - Axiom of Balance / Smithy Gang / X-Naut / Whatever - Grodus Return #24924924 Billion
Princess Peach - Smasher - Helps Introduce Questers To A Mission
Chah T - TV Reporter - Reports on Cabbage Cave
Goomba Divers - Forces of Darkness Entities - Bravely Facing Bullets
Mouser - Quester Ally - The Cowboy Who Knows Pirate
Random Voice - Mysterious Entity - Knows Well The Questers Are Insane
Spiked Turtle - Forces of Darkness Entity - Wants to Make The Questers Walk The Plank
Captain Syrup - Captain of the Black Sugar Gang - Out to Steal the Voodoo Poodoo
Elite #2 - Black Sugar Gang Lackey - Oil this!
Spear Guy - Black Sugar Gang Lacky - Won't Give up!
Mark 5 - Garrick's Personal Tool He Wouldn't Let Anyone Else Have - The Supposed Better Dex That Only Had One Additional Function: Better Voice Usage
Razor? - Alternate Dimension Quester - The Drunk One
King Demon? - Alternate Dimension Quester - This One Speaks Strangely Out Of Character
Locos? - Alternate Dimension Quester - Freaked out over there being Two Locoses
Gibby? - Alternate Dimension Quester - Also Pushes Buttons
Daven Jerec - Alternate Dimension Quester Leader - Leader-and-Hostage-in-One
William Kand aka "Lachronikus" - Alternate Dimension Quester Enemy - THE ONE, THE ONLY, LACHRONIKUS
Flame Robot - WACKO Goon - Nostalgic Item Combiner Enemy And Nostalgic Continuation of The Dead Grunty Plot
Denon Hologram - Stadium Hazard - The Only Remnant of Him, OR IS IT?
Archelago - Stadium Hazard - More Functional Than The Real One
Dry Bones - Forces of Darkness - Klumsy's Holo-Tomb Foe
F.A.Y.T.H. - Magellean Military Entity - SIMBER with a Dumb Rename
The Void - Eternal Chaos Entity - Recurring Superboss
Fallen Questers - Eternal Chaos Entities - Servants of The Void
Wolfman's Sign - Wolfman's Tool - Get New Bazooze-kas today!
A-Series Robots - Eternal Chaos Entities - Gerald's Loyal Swat-bot-a-likes
Twist Ed - UND Member - I contemplated Deleting these Dumb Characters, But They're Still Worth Me Complaining About Them
Sparticus - Eternal Chaos Entity - Summoned Illusion of Avon
Charles L. Magellan - Eternal Chaos Entity - Fake Charles that behaves as if Magellean Military Never Changed
TEC-XX - X-Naut / Smithy Gang Computer - The Most Powerful One-shot Cameo In Existence
Hyper Grodus - X-Naut / Smithy Gang Undying Annoyance - Like Broly But With Less Logic
Sephiroth - Eternal Chaos Entity - Exile of the X-Zone
Kerlai - UND Member - Yet Another Annoying Hypocrite
Guy - Innocent Normal Person - Look Out, Questers!
Guy2 - Innocent Normal Person - Oh No, The Questers! They're Gonna Blow Everything Up!
Girl - Innocent Normal Person - Smarter Than The Rest, Notices Knuckles Leading Questers
Guy3 - Innocent Normal Person - Remembers Quester Actions Other THan The Bad Ones
Warrior1 - Echidna Warrior - Guards of the Village
Warrior2 - Echidna Warrior - Confused But Smart Enough to Understand
Elder - Echidna Elder - Constantly Afraid
Echidna - Echidna - Also Constantly Afraid
Zombies 1-3 - Forces of Darkness Entities - Ooooogh... generic Zombie Noises...
Witch - Forces of Darkness Entity - More of a Witch than Grunty!
Skeletons - Forces of Darkness Entities - The Army of the Skeleton King
King Skeleton - Forces of Darkness Entity - Herald for the Skeleton King
Skeleton King - Forces of Darkness Entity - Probably Would Have Been a Better Final Boss For This Season
MrMonster - Quester - More Emotionally Stable Than Aribar
Dan - Eternal Chaos Entity - The Classic X-Zone Foe
Sky High - Quester? - Cooler than Julian
Jr. Koopa - Forces of Darkness Entity - Easy For Sky High to Defeat
Knight Leader - Eisnaught / Hyrule Defenders - Easily Cut Down By Ruvyn
Oprybo - UND Member - Another Thing... Which Has No Consensus on How To Spell Its Name...
Gerudo - Gerudo Tribe Member - Creator of the Trick Thief Test
Arc - Eternal Chaos Entity - Supposed A.I. Creator of the X-Zone (Yeah Right)
Lashiec - Forces of Darkness Entity - Stealer of VG's Hat, Master of Staff Magic and High HP
Computer Voice - Forces of Darkness Entity - Malfunctioning Fallen Quester HQ Computer
Shore T - Eisnaught Staff Member - Gift Shop Runner
Business Scrub - Forces of Darkness Entity - Mercenary Scrub
Main Guard - Eisnaught / Hyrule Staff Member - No Weapons Please
Other Guard - Eisnaught / Hyrule Staff Member - We're Perfectly Safe, No Attacks Here!
Kid - Innocent Normal Person - Gimme Action Figure!!111
Guard 5 - Eisnaught / Hyrule Staff Member - Please Put The Weapon Away
Other Guards Eisnaught / Hyrule Staff Members - We're Fine, Please Stop Bothering Us
Impa - Quester Ally - Attempts in Vain to Help Tetra Be "Good"
X-nauts - Smithy Gang / X-Naut Members - Generic Anti-Quester Fodder
Grodus II - Smithy Gang / X-Naut Endless Undying Annoyance - OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP MAKING GRODUSES
X-naut Scientists 1, 2, 3 - Smithy Gang / X-naut Members - Ambivalent And Easily Swayed Scientists
Julian's Dex - Quester Tool - Even Curses like Julian
Satellite - Smithy Gang / X-Naut Tool - Next Stop: The Sun
Machine Made Ridley - Smithy Gang / X-Naut Member - Too Big To Appear In This Season
Mindy - Eisnaught Staff Member - Believer of Conspiracy Theories about Nintendus
Dumon Tuval - Fake Ancient Whallerian - Yeah, Nothing He Says Is True
Dodongo - Forces of Darkness Entity - The Most Talky Dodongo Ever
Albuk Coldblade - Assassin Master - Ultimately Dead Too Fast
Dellion Blackguard - Assassin Member - Destroyer of Goodly Figures
Kazlo Shadowdancer - Assassin Member - Technical Mastermind
Commando - Fake Solarian - Stay Strong, Men!
Riflemen - Fake Solarians - Yes, Sir!
Commander - Fake Solarian - Ahhhh, We Can't Make It!
Genesis - Eternal Chaos Entity - Supposed Super-creation of Gerald's (But Not)
Damien Shire - Fake Ancient Whallerian - Fake Fake Fake, But Can Make Nice Glass Seals
ConclusionWell, I don't even know if anyone reads these anymore. And if they do, I doubt they ever get to this part. So you know what? I'm not really certain it matters if I type anything down here. I mean... why do I even do these again? Ah, right... even if no one reads these, at least I can look at them. Well, I guess if I'm talking to myself, I'll leave a note for when I inevitably go back and read this...
Future me: I hope you learned the right lessons from this once-greatly praised season. It's good and all to have people, to have popularity, but if it's mismanaged, it ends in this: a weird mess that's better than Season 3, but... repeats itself like a broken record and is glitched to heck and back. It was interesting to look at, but now, having fully absorbed (via the triple threat of logging, re-reading for plot summary, then re-scanning again for the cast) the Season, I know now. Both the seeds of failure and success live here. So one should never assume and... instead, focus on making something that is coherent.
For otherwise, anything else created could end up as conflicted as this, take this long to log, and... never actually reach its intended audience. An unfortunate fate, truly.
Ah well, at least it's complete, so it isn't a total downer. Wasn't lost like I feared it'd be when my computers died. So there's a silver lining in every downer season that isn't really sensical. Remember that too, I guess.