Super Smash Quest: Infinity - Story - Chapter 26: Welcome to Crazy Town
Date: 4:00:25 PM, February 21st, 2011.
Metal Man (GM): Recap. The Q/Bs succeeded in their task: obtaining a body for Thryne to inhabit. They also paid a small mint worth of money to Jack. Kaine fought Kraela in the arena as well. The group is in the assembly room now; Mewtwo has finished checking out the process with giving Thryne a new body, and is delivering his results. Continuation.
Mewtwo: "Thryne, like all Alsa beings, is about as disloyal as it gets. He will not hesitate to abandon us if we are not careful. Yet he has power to destroy which may rival that of Death himself. My research into the historical books indicated he was on par with Dyne and nearly took over Alsa during the endless wars of insanity."
Jason: "Yeah, that'd do it."
Mewtwo: "He only lost when Dyne designated Alsa as the recipient of destroyed objects, worlds, and other concepts. This is in part why the Alsa Questers wound up there in the first place. Thryne's powers became useless then, as with the statues sucking in all the destroyed material to Alsa, anything Thryne destroyed popped right back up. It was just a matter of Dyne sealing Thryne away, and that is how he became encapsulated. Until you melted those statues, the power of Nullus was null."
Digifanatic: *Chuckles* "Well then..."
Mewtwo: "The body you have obtained is boring and normal in pretty much all the ways. The only issue is how to use Thryne once we grant him his request."
Digifanatic: "Very carefully, I suppose."
Mewtwo: "He could probably destroy Death and clear the way to Evil Wolfman's tower... ...But we don't even know what lies past there."
Kaine: "At what cost?"
Mewtwo: "Reviving a powerful Alsa warlock here on Nintendus, for one."
Kenku enters the assembly room.
Mewtwo: "The other is provoking Evil Wolfman's wrath. He has been quiet recently."
Kenku: "Isn't that something that will have to occur at some point"
Mewtwo: "I've also received word that Anthon Tark's forces are invading the Mushroom Kingdom on Alsa."
Jason: "Probably scouting the area."
Mewtwo: "The issue with scouting Evil Wolfman's tower is one has to get past Death just to get in..."
Digifanatic: *Rolls his eyes* "As if Mobius wasn't enough for that loon..."
Mewtwo: "So, the question is, should we proceed with Thryne's revival, or do something else first?"
Kenku: "Like what?"
Jason: "I'm on the fence."
Mewtwo: "You aren't quite in the loop, Kenku." *He shakes his head.* "Besides reviving Thryne, one can also try to figure out from Jack what the hitch with reviving Thryne is, to begin with."
Kenku: "Ah yes, the hitch. Didn't Jack raise the price?"
Mewtwo: "Yes. Quite a bit. He sent me an update. It's now 15,000 coins."
Digifanatic: "Oh man." *Shakes his head.*
Kenku: "I apologize there if I was sounding sarcastic although, after all I have been out of the loop, and am just curious."
Digifanatic: "That's understandable, Kenku..."
King Demon: "Uh... maybe we should stick our noses in Anthon's business again?"
Mewtwo: "And what would that accomplish?"
Digifanatic: "Probably not much without Thryne..."
Mewtwo: "Thryne would probably want to rule Alsa for himself, if we gave him the chance."
Kenku: "In the end, Anthon is a piece of chaos we cannot control, least not right now. And in someways shouldn't"
Jason: "Better him than me if he's not too ruthless and oppressive about it."
Kaine: "Control, no, but try to contain...?"
Mewtwo: "I would rather not interfere with Anthon too much. He has the ability to warp here, if he should choose. We could end up fighting him AND Evil Wolfman at the same time."
Kenku: "Well I doubt we could even contain him, especially without shaking up Alsa in some unforeseen way."
Mewtwo: "Remember, it was GUN's dimension altering device coupled with Energia which rebuilt our world. If he became upset and should come into possession of the right knowledge, he could try to undo it, or worse. Once upon a time I thought that maybe that device could be used against Evil Wolfman, but with Borne dead, it seems the authorization to use the device is gone, and Anthon isn't the slightest interested in using it... yet."
Digifanatic: "Definitely best to hold off on that now."
Kaine: "Good point."
King Demon: "So, what then?"
Kenku: "That kinda leads us back to option 2 I guess. Unfortunately I don't really know any psychics, or information mages... or at least remember any that are still around outside of Jack."
Digifanatic: "And it's too soon to start blowing money on him again."
Mewtwo: "They were more or less destroyed. Boris knows much, but he is not the most trustworthy. More worrying is the explosions seen recently on Koholint island."
Jason: "And you would know..."
Digifanatic: *Glares to Jason a bit.*
Jason: "We were just there..."
Mewtwo: "Since you got back, the island has been rocked with massive explosions, and magic detectors are off the charts there."
Digifanatic: "Huh! Any idea where the attacks are coming from?"
King Demon: "Oh, good, THAT place again..."
Kraela walks in and ties her hair back as she listens to the conversation.
Kaine: *Waves to Krae.*
Jason: *Waves as well.*
Mewtwo: "The magic has Jack's name on it."
Digifanatic: "Ohhhh great." >_<
Mewtwo: "No one else has been able to use Dyne-esque magic besides Marley, and he's known to not venture outside that bar... ever."
Jason: "Considering he was the one that led us to Koholint in the first place..."
Mewtwo: "It would appear his deal with us upset Jack."
Kraela: "Jack found out?"
Kenku: "He was gonna at some point."
Kraela: "He ought to have kept his head down."
Mewtwo: "He possesses Dyne's magic. The magic to see into fate itself."
Kenku: "Doesn't make our position with Jack better but, yea."
Mewtwo: "Nothing can really hide from him on Alsa, especially since Red Text now has fully functional scanning capability. Why, he's been sending us the data I've been quoting to you. I couldn't know all of this on my own."
Kraela thinks for a moment, and decides that her lie would probably be defined as ballsy rather than traitorous. So she was good.
Kraela: "It was worth a shot anyway. So where do we fit in?"
Mewtwo: "You missed half the briefing. The main plan is to revive Thryne, but destroying the front door guard to Evil Wolfman's tower would be risky."
Kaine: "Does he have a less-guarded back door we can sneak into?"
Mewtwo: "So the question has been, what do we do next? Do we revive Thryne? Or is there unfinished Alsa business that may aid us? The area around the tower is surrounded by one of those one-way black hole fields. There is no 'back door' that we know of except his own warping technology."
Kraela: "Which would probably be more risky than just blasting down the front door."
Jason: "Unfinished business may work out, if it comes down to acquiring new stuff."
Kenku looks at little confused. "What is the plan being brewed exactly?"
Mewtwo: "New artifacts may help us. Unfortunately, with GUN at war, that means we probably cannot go too close to the Mushroom Kingdom or the entire Mobius area outside of Angel Island itself. The plan was to revive Thryne and have him destroy Death, so we could get inside Evil Wolfman's tower."
Digifanatic: "There might be a few spare places left on Alsa."
Mewtwo: "The issue is, it seems like we're a bit short on materials to make it much further with just Thryne."
Jason: "That's why I said..."
King Demon: "So... what else can we go after? The Pure Element is in Sloan's possession, if I remember correctly..."
Digifanatic: *Looks at the map of Alsa* "Kanto? Dreamland?"
Mewtwo: "Let me consult what information we have..." *He pauses, deep in thought.*
Digifanatic: *Yeah, he realizes Repliforce is covering that territory but if they can be sneaky and/or unprovocative about it, they could wind up with something good.*
Mewtwo: "The Antimatter beam was supposedly in Koholint Island, where the explosions are currently ongoing."
King Demon: "Oh, good... wait... so we'd have to race Jack to get it?" *Smirks.*
Kraela: "Yeah, probably not the best idea there."
Mewtwo: "Yes, it would probably be incredibly dangerous."
Jason: *Deep exhales* "Probably not worth it yet. I'd definitely go for it under more forgiving circumstances, but this is asking too much right now."
Kaine: "Ok, what else?"
Mewtwo: "Energia is in the hands of Anthon Tark. Pure Element is in Sloan's hands..."
Kaine: "Ok, what else is there that's NOT controlled by someone who hates us?"
Kraela: "That's made a little tricky by the fact that everyone seems to hate us."
Mewtwo: "Hmmm... we're sort of running low on the list of artifacts... Dyne's statues were the Divining Rod. Dyne himself had been sealed via Godly Protect, then both were annihilated."
King Demon: "Not everyone, just everyone important."
Mewtwo: "There is one artifact on Nintendus, but getting it somewhat concerns me."
Kraela: "Why's that?"
Jason: "That'd be?"
Mewtwo: "I haven't mentioned it before because I was hoping we could avoid it... Crazy Hand's... summoning implement. When I studied the records of Nintendus, I did not expect to find anything. So I found almost nothing, but then I found something unusual. Nintendus is a world of multiple boundaries. When the X-zone and The Void consumed the world, they turned the Boundaries themselves into a world of madness."
Digifanatic: "Ohhhh boy."
Mewtwo: "But The Void came from the Stadium computers and Metal Man's mind."
Digifanatic: "Getting deep now."
King Demon: "So... going after this is risking undoing what we did in recreating this world?"
Mewtwo: "We'd all thought it came from nowhere, or from Kuja's realm. But it turns out the X-zone was merely The Void's warped view of a place that has existed for a very long time: Subspace... Sub-con."
Digifanatic: "I'd hate to reverse that. Oh wow, now we got something."
Mewtwo: "A dream world. It existed both for Link and for Mario. The problem is, it is a dream world. It automatically shapes an adventure for whomever enters it, based on their memories."
Jason: "Ah, alright."
Mewtwo: "The X-Zone was a world in which it shaped adventures out of memories corrupted by madness; Subcon is not so impaired."
Jason: "I believe we'd all get lost there."
Mewtwo: "Yes. Your memories are very dangerous."
Mewtwo: "Crazy Hand is the symbol of Subcon--the otherworld, the place that was a mirror not quite like our own."
Kenku: "That sounds like its somewhat controllable although, and you'd be able to find a path."
Digifanatic: "It does, but still, nobody's gonna be on the same plane."
Mewtwo: "If you could venture to the heart of it without becoming distracted by the taunts and lures of the mirrorverse, I venture you could find the Crazy Hand statue."
Kraela: "I'm kind of interested in that, actually."
Mewtwo: "Oh... but it combines all of your memories. It does not separate people. Mario and three of his friends went there."
Digifanatic: "Point, but they're all very closely connected."
Mewtwo: "The issue is, it is a very real place, and I am unsure how your life would be effected by dying there... but if we have no choice, then the most reliable way in is a localized anomaly in Hyrule, out in the ocean."
Jason: *Nods* "You pretty much have every Quester and Brawler for themself right now. Nobody's quite tied to each other aside from this job."
King Demon: "Sounds like fun!"
Kaine: "Maybe to you."
Kraela: "Not entirely true, Jase."
Kenku: "This sounds like an interesting option... although what does that statue you speak of do?"
Mewtwo: "I can warp you directly into it... getting out on the other hand, you have to figure out."
Metal Man (GM): He takes a statue off a shelf--a trophy. It shows a malevolent hand floating in the air.
Jason: *Tries to hold his composure at Kaine and Kraela's remarks.*
Mewtwo: "This one is only a replica. The Hands were clever and hid the real ones away sometime after the end of the Melee tournament. And before you ask, they made it clear only worthy people could find them."
Jason: "Ahh, just like the Holy Grail." *Smirks.*
Mewtwo: "Master Hand's is not even negotiable right now--he said that unlike Crazy Hand, he would make his 'virtually impossible to find' and only open to 'the ultimate Brawler.'"
King Demon: "How do we find out if we're... never mind, I think I know the answer."
Mewtwo: "Crazy Hand on the other hand, left a note that basically went 'Go into Subcon, if you dare... HEE HEE HEEHAHAHAH HAAAAA!!!' The fact it was written in blood didn't give me much confidence."
Kraela: "Surprised anyone could read the handwriting."
Valentine: "In other words it's there, but lingering with traps."
King Demon: "Typical."
Digifanatic: "Pretty much."
Valentine: "Well everyone is use to triggering them and surviving so no issue there."
King Demon: "Yeah, we run headfirst into traps daily."
Valentine: "That isn't a boastful comment."
Kaine: "Or in your case, fly headfirst into radioactive brick walls."
Mewtwo: "IF you are ready... then enter this portal." *He opens... a strange looking warp tile outside the door.*
Valentine: "We'll need to know of an area to safely warp out of first, Mewtwo. Or is that only up to us?"
Kenku sighs. "If that is the only option right now, may as well try", he remarks before stepping through.
Mewtwo: "That is why I hesitated to tell you of it at all. There is no way to guarantee escape."
Kraela nods and goes through the warp.
Mewtwo: "Sometimes, those who enter awake from a dream, and are back in this world."
King Demon: "Oh joy..."
Mewtwo: "Sometimes they don't wake up but rather warp in, sleeping, and wake up later. Some return, killed in unusual and horrifying manners."
Valentine: "I suppose I should go then. Someone has to bring them back alive."
Mewtwo: "Some never return. Others return morphed into a strange mockery of who they once were."
Jason: *Exhales* "Gotta keep an eye, then." *Follows them.*
Mewtwo: "Some casually enter and leave the realm, warping between worlds with it. The Masked Man, for one. You never know until you enter."
Valentine: "Keep the mortal rate at some standard, Mewtwo."
King Demon: "Oh good, maybe you'll meet HIM there. If you do, get a good mask for me will ya?"
Kaine: "Yeah, sure, whatever, Demon." *Heads through the warp.*
Mewtwo: "Well, that is a good thing. If you can avoid foolish moves, you can find amazing, excellent things in there."
Valentine: *And she hovers into the warp.*
Mewtwo: *After they enter* "...But it goes the same way for doing foolish things."
King Demon: "You do realize who you're talking about, right Mewtwo?"
Mewtwo: "They asked to go in there. That was the second requirement on Crazy Hand's letter. I tried to prevent it, but..." *He shrugs.*
Metal Man (GM): SUBCON. The warp seems to be broken. You guys are still standing outside the Stadium. Mewtwo apparently shut the door, thinking you were gone. It feels rather warm outside, with the coming of Spring.
Kaine: *Looking around* "Ok then..."
Valentine: "..." *She is actually unsure how to analyze this given the warning, but she does scan the area for a moment.*
Kenku Looks a little confused. "Weren't we supposed to warp somewhere?"
Jason: "Hmm... he just said it didn't separate, so maybe this is all of us as working for the Stadium."
Metal Man (GM): All scans return normal readings, Val.
Jason: "And THEN it splits off."
Metal Man (GM): Val would see a glowing blue city in the distance.
Kraela: "He said it's based on our memories. We remember the Stadium."
Kenku: "You have a point there."
Jason: "Yup, that's where I went."
Kaine: *Shrugs* "Well, we need to go somewhere, any ideas?"
Kenku decides to walk forward a bit then and see id something odd happens.
Valentine: "Lets just hope some of the old memories don't appear here."
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would notice a blue figure wandering around a hilltop nearby.
Kaine: "Gee, thanks for mentioning that, Val. Now we're screwed!" *Heads after Kenku.*
Metal Man (GM): Val's... smash Dex??? would begin ringing.
Kraela: "At least none of my memories are going to kill us."
Kenku tries to point out the figure to the others before beginning to journey on.
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would appear to be pointing at nothing.
Kraela: "What are you messing around with, Kenku?"
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would begin to see the figure, wearing blue Time Cop robes.
Jason: "Yeah, Kenku, I think we hit a split point." .oO(Dang, where's someone like Scotty or Alex when I'd need an ally?)
Kaine: *Walks up to Kenku* (would he see the figure too?)
Valentine: "..." *Valentine would look at the smash Dex.*
Metal Man (GM): Not from this distance, Kenku. You'll have to get closer. It feels... odd. Val would look at the Smash dex and see Metal Man's face on it. The others would see Val holding thin air. Contrary to Jason's statement, Kenku is still here, just staring at something... none of you can see, although it is becoming stronger.
Kenku walks slowly in the direction of the person, doing his best to not bring attention yet, knowing his memories of certain time cops hes run into...
Valentine: "...Where did this come from?"
Metal Man: *Dex* "Val, what's the status of the mission? I haven't heard from you in days!"
Jason: "I got nothing... I feel something, but..."
Metal Man (GM): The smash dex would become real to everyone else, out of thin air.
Kaine: "Hey, where'd you pick THAT up, Val?"
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would walk towards the person. And they, too, would become visible out of thin air to everyone else. The person would turn around, smiling nastily.
Valentine: "What? You're our ene- Oh. Wait. You're not Metal Man. Just a memory."
Ael: "Yes... the only place where I can still exist... and you came to it. Good work, Kenku. Now I can kill you all for real."
Kaine: *Sees the Time Cop and runs up to Kenku, drawing his sword.*
Metal Man (GM): It IS Ael, although no one but Kenku would probably recognize him.
Valentine: "Everyone just stop!"
Jason: *He halts in his position for now.*
Valentine: "Nothing here is real except if your mind makes it reall."
Kraela: "This place is fucked up," *Kraela murmurs. She still hadn't moved but has a firm grip on her weapon.*
Kenku: "I doubt that, although I must say, your former partner still scares me more."
Kaine: *Reaches Kenku (presumably) before Val speaks up.*
Ael: "She does?"
Metal Man (GM): Pandora appears out of thin air next to Ael.
Kenku mumbles "Me and my big mouth."
Kaine: "Friends of yours?"
Metal Man (GM): The reploid appears to be a prissy female reploid, who glows strangely.
Pandora: "Oooh, I get to blow them all up again. Only this time, YOU ALL DIE! HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!"
Valentine: *She would toss the Dex aside carelessly.* "Let's move on and think about what we're here for."
Kenku: "First Time Cops the Alsa group ran into..."
Metal Man (GM): The dex vanishes into thin air.
Jason: "Ahh... anyways, right." *Moves on.*
Ael: "So, now it is time I killed you again... for good."
Kraela: "Seriously, who else is going to threaten to kill us before I get the chance to move?"
Valentine: *She doesn't wait around, she would go up to the door to the stadium and look at it.*
Metal Man (GM): Ael would begin charging up again. Pandora would follow his lead. Kenku and Kaine could hear their attacks. The others, sans Val, would see them, but they'd seem a bit dream-like. Val would just ignore them out of existence and go to the door to the Stadium. The door would open and Val would be greeted by a blue hologram.
Valentine: "I reject your form of reality and replace it with my own."
SIMBER: "Hello, Val. Welcome back to the Stadium. How can I help you?"
Kenku doesn't see any way around this outside of confrontation, and charges in for a strike.
SIMBER: *Frowns* "You can banish me to the edges of your mind, but unlike the others, I do not plot your death. But if you wish, I will vanish without you having to force me."
Metal Man (GM): Meanwhile, Kenku charges in for a strike. Roll it, Kenku.
Kaine: "Right..." *Sighs and steps back, giving him a chance to dodge whatever they plan on doing.*
Valentine: "We did work together and that was it, SIMBER. But that is it. I am here for the trophy and nothing more."
SIMBER: "I am one who can help guide you to the trophy. You are on the right path. Your friends are busy trying to find some unnamed horrifying deaths."
Valentine: "And what if you're one of them with a simple trick?"
Jason: "In fact, I think we can find it on our own."
SIMBER: "This is why my real self does not bother appearing to anyone. Mewtwo, Metal Man, the Brawlers, the Questers... none understood my intelligence. Well, I could be."
Valentine: "But what choice do I have, right?"
SIMBER: "Going on your own is the only guaranteed way to succeed, but you may fail much more easily that way. Technically if you went on your own now, you would be following my advice, so no matter what you do, you will have a dilemma."
Kraela: *Krae looks around for anything that she'd be inclined to pay attention to.*
Valentine: *Val is more than likely talking to herself.*
Metal Man (GM): He crosses his hands and goes :Smugface: at Val. Actually, SIMBER is rather visible, but sort of ghostly. Meanwhile... Ael warps around Kenku's attack.
Kaine: "Uh, Kenku, no offense, but this isn't the time to exorcise your demons." *Backing off from the Time Cops.*
Ael: "You idiot. I have the power to destroy the entire universe. And now YOU DIE!"
Pandora: "AHAHAHAHAHAAA! DIEDIEDIEDIE!"
Metal Man (GM): Ael and Pandora unleash their super attacks on Kenku.
Valentine: "There are many possible outcomes to this, though if you are a part of my mind then you would be helpful as we just work on keeping the Questers alive."
Metal Man (GM): Yes, but GMed by me. These are memories, not the real thing... or are they? Well, according to Mewtwo, they are not. Kenku gets Kentucky Fried Annihilated. Kaine backs off just in time to make the attacks vanish. Kenku's horrifically burnt corpse flies into the wall of the Stadium. Kenku, however, would still have 1 HP, strangely. SIMBER would wince.
SIMBER: "Why do people have to imagine the super beings are real? Why not Goombas?"
Kaine: "Right..." *Turns and heads back to the others* "Remember guys, most of the stuff here is a memory."
Valentine: "...I told them to ignore what they see."
Jason: *Facepalm when he hears the thud.*
SIMBER: "Yes. If I am part of your mind, then I am helpful."
Kenku: "They weren't super beings... they were idiots with powers they thought they understood especially Pandora..."
SIMBER: "Your choice whether to take my advice or not. I warn you, the inside of the Stadium is dangerous, but also the easiest way to the trophy."
Kenku starts to heal himself if they aren't attacking again.
Metal Man (GM): SIMBER is more or less fully visible to everyone now, made real by the investment into talking to him.
Kaine: "Dangerous? How so?"
Metal Man (GM): Kenku's healing would fail, as Ael would walk towards him.
Ael: "Your healing cannot work against me. I am alive, real again, here now, to burn you to death."
Valentine: "You may follow me, SIMBER. But like a part of my mind you can't do anything but suggest."
Ael: "Make your final attack, before I turn you into an ever-tortured living statue, Kenku!"
Metal Man (GM): Ael stands before Kenku. No one else sees him.
Kenku: "No, you aren't. You are no more than a depiction of a person from my past. A person whos been long dead."
SIMBER: "So that may be, but I am able to interact with what I choose, as long as you believe in me."
Ael: "..." *He smirks* "A person who will haunt you throughout this world, nevertheless." *He vanishes into thin air for Kenku.*
Valentine: "I had made my decision. I will only take suggestions from you as you could be a trick. Now, follow me."
Kenku: "Fair enough." *Kenku says as he tries to Minor heal to patch himself up.*
Kaine: *Shrugs* "Ok, I have to ask, who are you?"
SIMBER: "That's better than nothing. My suggestion is you gather the others befo--I have no choice but to follow you anyway." *Looks to Kaine* "I am SIMBER. Simple Integration Machine and Encryption... something. Val doesn't remember the full acronym, so I don't either."
Valentine: "Yes. I know. But first I need to help out those fools. I never asked, SIMBER. I left shortly after you arrived."
Kraela: "So basically, you're her memories giving us advice?"
Kenku gets up with a cough. "I'm fine... that was sorta stupid of me trying to deal with them physically, but I'm fine."
Kaine: "Ah... good thing Demon's not here."
SIMBER: "Not even Metal Man could control my mouth, and your conjuring of the dex granted me greater knowledge than you realize. The dream worlders do not have to follow logic."
Valentine: "So it seems." *And she would remember the dex again.*
Metal Man (GM): Kenku heals himself. The dex would appear in Val's hands.
Valentine: "In the real world, we use logic. In this world, we will use illogic."
Metal Man: *R* "What's going on, Val? What is the status of the mission?"
Metal Man (GM):Starr would warp in on the warp tile. And not notice they'd warped so much, as everyone just appeared out of thin air.
Kraela tries remembering the trophy that Mewtwo had shown them.
Metal Man (GM): The fake trophy would appear in Kraela's hand. SIMBER, FYI, looks like this.
Kaine: "Sounds logical, Val."
SIMBER: "Nothing makes sense here, so do not think too much about it, or it will consume you."
SIMBER: "Unlike the X-Zone it does have a 'logic' to it, but not one you're used to."
Jason: "I'm just ready to move on."
Kaine: "Why do I suddenly feel like I'm walking around in Metal Man's mind?"
Valentine: "Thinking is what I do and you know that. I will use that as my weapon. Not Rifle."
SIMBER: "You are near a place strongly influenced by his devices. It is natural."
Starr: "What... The hell..."
SIMBER: "Inside the Stadium lies the test for the Trophy."
Kaine: "Hey, Starr."
Kraela: "You're in your head, Princess. Isn't it a wonderful place?"
Valentine: "Anyways. If everyone is ready, SIMBER will be guiding us into the stadium."
Kaine: *Shrugs* "Why not? Let's go."
Starr: "I could have sworn we're in yours Krae. That explains how empty it is." *She smiles at the other girl.*
Valentine: "Metal Man. Stand by for now. Proceeding with the mission."
Metal Man: *R* "I hope you know what you're doing..." *Click.*
Valentine would also look at the Dex.
Kenku starts to follow Val.
Metal Man (GM): The dex is one from Season 13. It is fully operational. Walking inside the Stadium, the world would shift slightly.
SIMBER: "The Stadium is another plane to itself. I can only lead you a little bit further."
Kraela: "Do we have less control over this one?"
Kaine: "Hopefully we have more control."
SIMBER: "Yes. There are some 'memories of the Stadium' which assert themselves regardless of who is here. They have been cherry-picked by Crazy Hand to guard his treasure."
Valentine: "Tell me. What is the best method from escaping your own mind?"
SIMBER: "...But your own memories may start to interfere. This can be good... or very bad."
Kaine: "Waking up."
SIMBER: "If I knew, I'd escape into your world already, bringing my powers from this one into it. The dream power is greater than any known power in your world, if it were only portable..."
Metal Man (GM): He walks down the hallway of pictures... Some of them are of old Questers. Others are of young Questers... Then in the next room is Dr. Proctor, or so Val sees.
Valentine: "Well, usually one awakes when something shocking happens in their dream they know would never happen in the real world."
Jason: *Walks down the halls and keeps going.*
Dr. Proctor: "Val, it is about time you came here. I have come here to show you that the Questers are evil! The people who follow you are just as evil. Mindless killing machines! I will revive their victims to truly save the world."
Kraela follows Jason.
Starr: "..." *She's looking at the pictures on the wall...*
Metal Man (GM): The pictures morph. Sometimes, you see yourselves in them.
Valentine: "I'm busy, Doctor. I'll talk with you when I am done."
Metal Man (GM): Sometimes, relatives from your backstory.
Dr. Proctor: "This can't wait... you'd be as reckless as them to ignore me. Innotek might kill us all... The world is going to explode! You can't ignore this!"
Metal Man (GM): Val talks to thin air. Dr. Proctor's bent-over, mousey, ugly doctor shape can be faintly heard, whispering indecipherably to her. He has some sort of revival device.
Dr. Proctor: "I must revive... uhhh..."
Valentine: "I can ignore this. Like I'm ignoring you." *She would just continue on, not even looking at him.*
Kenku sees a picture of his former self before the time of the Questers. He sighs, knowing that is something he could never could go back to and journeys on.
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would see Schatze's dead body on the floor.
Dr. Proctor: "Nyaaaaaargh!"
Metal Man (GM): He vanishes, clawing at Schatze's dead body.
Kaine: *Sees a couple pictures of his homeworld, sighing and shaking his head, before moving on.*
Metal Man (GM): Kenku continues to see the dead body. As would the others, for some reason. It seems pretty useless. It looks like a male Panzer, with black fur. And also toasted to a crisp.
Starr: "Ah... No! no!" *She turns her head away from a picture.* "I'm not like them... I'm better than that... I'm not some stupid blond bimbo..."
Valentine: "How annoying." *She would state, seeing a picture of her old group she was will after her treatment.* "Hmm... I wonder how they are."
Kaine: *Steps up to the body, examining it, wondering if there's anything useful on it.*
SIMBER: "That was a close one. That sort of crossover is only for poorly made fan-made publication."
Kenku shakes his head, remebering it as the one time RT's ideas weren't the greatest, but instead journey's on.
Metal Man (GM): Next, up ahead, is something else which stands of its own will.
Valentine: "I told you to ignore what you see. because I can not save you from what I don't see."
Kenku: "I would ignore it Kaine. Its nothing important to now."
Metal Man (GM): There stands Metal Man. Or is it Metal Man?
Starr: "... I'm not that girl anymore." *She scowls and catches up to Kaine.*
Metal Man (GM): It seems to warp around wildly, as if your conflicting memories are malfunctioning it.
Valentine: "Oh. Metal Man. You should be doing paperwork."
Metal Man: "Val. It's about time you came here, I need to--AHAHAHA! YOU WILL ALL DIEE--Jason, you will not have the Wing Fortress ever!"
SIMBER: "This is the first test. I cannot interfere." *Vanishes.*
Kaine: *Walks up to Metal, looking at him curiously, putting his hand on Starr's shoulder.*
Valentine: "Metal Man needs to do the proper paperwork to attack us."
Metal Man: *Speaking with multiple voices* "Mmmmmake up your minds! Aaaaaargh!"
Jason: "I really don't want it..." *Shrugs and keeps going.*
Starr: "..." *She just imagines him in a poofy pink dress... For giggles.*
Metal Man: *Multiple voices again* "You... cannot pass this spot!"
Valentine: "However, it is easier for Metal Man to help us without the paperwork."
Metal Man: The outlines of one appear, only to be smeared by the multiple memories.
Kraela: "I've made up my mind. You're not a threat."
Metal Man (GM): He vanishes for a moment, but pops back in, blocking Jason's path.
Kenku laughs. "I'm guessing we might decide one memory of Metal."
Starr: "We control him."
Valentine: "Now you Brawlers get the picture."
Metal Man: *Multiple voices* "Even if I wanted yoOUUU through heERE... you would HAVE to... arghhhhhh!!!" *He continues flickering.*
Jason: "I don't really want to aaaarggggh..."
Valentine: *And Valentine would continue past Metal Man.*
Kaine: *Decides to ignore Metal just as the others and joins Jason* "Come on, lets keep going."
Metal Man: *Multiple Voices* "Do it... DigiCharLoValJulian!"
Metal Man (GM): Val would walk into a brick wall--he'd phase into existence moments before Val would get across, but it's becoming more faded. He's beginning to vanish.
Metal Man: *Multiple Voices* "What is thi... this... this... this..."
Starr: *She nods and follows Kaine again.* "There's no wall there, and there's no Metalman here."
Kraela moves on.
Valentine: "I don't remember any of them- Oof! ... Or that."
Metal Man (GM): He looks at Kenku.
Jason: "Whatever." *Keeps going.*
Kenku looks back curious.
Metal Man (GM): He almost vanishes, but Kenku's responding look snaps him into existence again.
Valentine: *Valentine would remember a door being in this wall.*
Metal Man: *Single voice* "I cannot be moved! I am implacable!"
Metal Man (GM): He's very wavery now, but to Kenku he seems real.
Kaine: "Right. Most of the stuff we're seeing is just our memories given physical form, as long as we keep that in mind, we can't be harmed by them."
Kenku starts to laugh. "And here I thought there was more to it than just knowing your an illusion." before looking away and beginning to journey on.
Metal Man (GM): Hhe finally vanishes.
Metal Man: "Yooooouuuuuu..." *Fadeout.*
Metal Man (GM): SIMBER would reappear.
SIMBER: "You would not believe how many people that one stops. I don't think the original Questers could pass it either. Too tempted to think of silly things."
Valentine: "It will become tougher. As own own thoughts that we enjoy and fear the most will appear."
Kraela: "They're all idiots. If you understand the rules well enough, you learn how to not play."
Metal Man (GM): The circular path continues further into the stadium.
Jason: "I'm supposed to hate the guy anyway." *Moves on.*
Metal Man (GM): Here, a shut door blocks the way. A table filled with objects is there. On the table is a chaos emerald... Energia... A time machine... A football... A key... The Sword of Light... And a banana.
Valentine: *And what does the Dex have to say about this?*
Smash Dex: "...DING! Table full of object---" *BEEP* "OBJECTIONS!"
Valentine: *And she tosses the dex away again.*
Smash Dex: "X-Zone X-Zone XZ XZXZNXZOZXNZXOZXNZXOZXNZX--"
Metal Man (GM): Val sees the table almost morph into Phoenix Wright made out of deathly objects.
Valentine: "I thought it would be more amusing."
Metal Man (GM): That was close.
Starr: "Is there really even a door there?"
Kaine: "Probably not." *Tries to imagine the door being gone.*
Valentine: "I know the table isn't."
SIMBER: "Even though the X-zone is gone, those who experienced it can accidentally bring elements like it back for a short moment. Since it's a memory like any other."
Metal Man (GM): The door stays there. It has a doorknob and a keyhole, and is shut. Another door appears, to the right.
Kenku walks over to the door and tries to open it.
Metal Man (GM): A gigantic skull and crossbones appears on that door.
Jason: "I don't recall playing any games like that..." *Opens the door on the left.*
Metal Man (GM): Kenku opens the door. It opens, revealing another door behind it. This door also has a doorknob and keyhole on it.
Kenku tries to open that one.
Valentine: "This old trick."
Jason: *And the one he opened?*
Metal Man (GM): The door doesn't seem to want to open. It feels stuck, maybe locked. Jason: The door to the left? There is no door to the left. Only dead ahead or the one to the right. Do you open the one to the right?
Kenku looks back at the items on the table, and inspects the key.
Metal Man (GM): You could try imagining a door to the left, of course. The key looks perfectly mundane and useful to you, Kenku. Kenku already opened the first door for Jason.
Starr: "Hmph. Knowing a place like this? Try peeling the banana." *She snickers,* "Maybe the real key is inside it."
Kenku will pirck it up and try to unlock the door with it.
Metal Man (GM): The key begins to melt into metal and begin coating Kenku's skin the minute he picks it up. It makes a hideous burning noise and is every bit as painful. Kenku would probably be screaming in pain, if not worse.
Kaine: "Right..." *Shrugs and actually DOES pick up the banana.*
Valentine: "Hmm." *Valentine would pick up the football and toss it near the supposedly locked door.*
Metal Man (GM): Kaine violently implodes.
Jason: "Oh come on, guys, ignore tho--" *Siiiigh.*
Metal Man (GM): He is knocked down to 1 HP and shrunken to the size of a golf ball.
Kenku tries his best to ignore the pain and walks back to the door, trying to create a key with his mind.
Metal Man (GM): Someone will have to carry him or something, until he is healed.
Starr: "..." *She picks up Kaine,* "C'mon, you're riding with me now."
Metal Man (GM): Kenku and the key fight it out. Well, the key seems to still be there, as the painful liquid is almost up to coating Kenku's left shoulder. Valentine would hurl the football at the locked door.
Kraela: "Stick him in your bra. I doubt he'll mind."
Metal Man (GM): She'd feel something odd about the football... Then it'd hit the door. The door would snap open. Then... A Chargin' Chuck would run at Val from the corridor behind her! Oh no! You can spend 2 Resist, Kenku. Val is smashed into a pancake and also knocked down to 1 HP. She would be able to walk, just look like a Paper Mario character. If you spend 2 resist, Kenku, you'd discover you could stop the key by throwing it away. And using the resist points to halt the spread of the metal.
Kenku focuses to halt the spread and hurls the key against a wall.
Metal Man (GM): Val would dodge it. The football player would fall down and vanish. The key hits the wall and melts to nothing.
Valentine: "...Door is open."
Metal Man (GM): Kenku's max HP is reduced to only 75% of what it normally is, and his current HP moves down to match, for as long as his arm remains coated in that metal. The metal doesn't want to come off however. The door is open now, yes, after all that insanity.
Kenku sighs but decides to simply journey through the door.
Kaine: *Happily hitches a ride with Starr.*
Valentine: "It was an easy puzzle. Just put some logic in illogical thing."
Jason: *Groans and walks through.*
Valentine: *And with that, Valentine hovers through.*
Metal Man (GM): Inside the room now is a hundred doors. Inside each door is a hundred more smaller doors. Inside THOSE doors are a hundred tiny doors.
SIMBER: "I cannot interfere. But I can say that you have gotten further than 25% of people who come here."
Kenku closes his eyes and tries to focus his mind on the statue.
Metal Man (GM): Kenku would think of the statue.
Valentine: "I remember you more useful."
Metal Man (GM): A large, person-sized version of the statue would appear in the room.
SIMBER: "I am. But if I break the rules, then I will be destroyed from your memories."
Metal Man (GM): The large statue of Crazy Hand would now block the way to all 100 doors with their 100s of mini-doors.
SIMBER: "But I can say that probably isn't going to help you." *Points at the statue.*
Kenku sighs and does his best to dismiss it.
Metal Man (GM): It vanishes.
Valentine: "Even I can guess that."
Kaine: "Good job, Kenku!" *Sitting on Starr's shoulder... if he isn't somewhere else already.*
Metal Man (GM): Further detail: The hundreds of doors all blanket the wall ahead almost completely. There is one gap at the left and right ends, however. Both are only half the size of a door.
Kenku tries to see if there are any differences between the look of the doors.
Metal Man (GM): And they're walls, not just holes...
Valentine would just sit on her platform, then closes her eyes and thinks of only one door in the room. The right door.
Metal Man (GM): The doors each have a number. They go from 1 to 1000000. That is, the innermost. Val would suddenly see a door to the right. It has Julian's face on it, and a golden plaque. "The Right Door to Pick Is Always The Door To The Right."
Jason: *Thinks of any one random number, not knowing Val's trick.*
Metal Man (GM): Jason thinks of That number.
Valentine: "...A trap is a trap." *She would mutter, then stops in front of the door. She thinks about Old Solid Snake.*
Metal Man (GM): Solid Snake appears in the room.
Kraela goes ahead and opens door 1, with the reasoning that it's the most likely place for her to put something important.
Solid Snake: "Now it is time for your testing. Hide behind eighteen boxes in the Kuja-sympathizer's hideout. Or I kill you."
Valentine: "Good to see you too."
Metal Man (GM): Door #1 opens. It has nothing but wall behind it. And is the size of a greeting card.
Valentine: "I need you to open in the door in front of me, Solid snake."
Solid Snake: "That thing?"
Metal Man (GM): He takes the doorknob, and he opens the 'right' door. The knob comes off in his hand, and malevolent laughter is heard.
Solid Snake: "Not a door."
Kraela: "Well, that was pointless." *She looks over to what Valentine's doing.*
Valentine woulf back away quickly.
Metal Man (GM): Val is busy telling a ghost image to open a ghost door. Nothing much seems to come of it other than the ghost door laughing creepily.
Valentine: "...You can hide now."
Metal Man (GM): Ghost Snake hurls the ghost doorknob over his shoulder. It hits the left part of the wall that has no doors on it and flies through it.
Solid Snake: "I better, the Questers are coming t overthrow me and put Metal Man in my place."
Metal Man (GM): He puts a box atop himself and vanishes.
Kraela tries to remember the time that she was infused with the power of... what's his face. She didn't care about his name, but she did remember that she'd walked through walls then. Her body had power.
Valentine: "...wait." *Valentine would go over to the area that had no doors.*
Metal Man (GM): Kraela does not become re-possessed. But Thryne appears in the dream-world.
Thryne: "What's this? A multiple-level ward around another Alsa magical device? I knew there was a reason you were holding out on giving me a body..."
Valentine: *She is then bold enough to touch the door-less wall.*
Kraela: "You'll have just as soon as we get this one."
Kaine: "Oh, great, he's here?"
Metal Man (GM): Val would sense half of herself vanish through the wall.
Kraela: *^have it.*
Metal Man (GM): Only the right half would remain. The others would see this change as well.
Thryne: "I can't help you with it anyway. It's warded."
Valentine: "...Of course. The wall with no door is the true door."
Thryne: "My magic can only destroy things that exist. I can't even interact with this world."
Valentine: *She would pull herself out and look at the overs.* "This way, Brawlers."
Metal Man (GM): He tries to open a door and it doesn't even budge. The left half would not come back from the left side gap, strangely.
Kraela: "Then there's no reason for us to keep talking." *She walks past him to Valentine, putting him out of her mind.*
Metal Man (GM): Guess it's one way to send one half of you to the door... Thryne vanishes.
Valentine would just go all the way through then.
Metal Man (GM): The left side would not allow the right half of Val through.
Kenku follows Val through the doorway.
Kaine: "Hey, Princess, come on!"
Kraela repeats what Valentine did.
Metal Man (GM): Kenku's left half would vanish into the left wall, but the right half is still stuck here like Val's. Same with Kraela. Yes, it's like the left half is just invisible, only you know it to be missing.
Valentine: "..." *Valentine would just try to see what's on the other side with her other half.*
Starr: "Ah, sorry..." *She goes to follow, but stops, confused.* "That's... Odd."
Metal Man (GM): On the other side--hmmm... no go. The other half is just missing, not accessible.
Kraela goes to the other side of the room and tries going through the wall there.
Metal Man (GM): You're still stuck in this side, with the million-billion doors, and the gaps... Kraela's right side walks into the right gap and vanishes entirely to the other side.
Kenku sighs. "Well this is great." He tries to step back the way he came and tries to see what happens.
Valentine: *See if Valentine came take that over half to the other side of the room with no door on it.*
Metal Man (GM): Val can do just that. Kenku: Can't step back, the left half is just gone. But you'd see the other right halves exiting via the gap on the right side of the room.
Valentine: *And she does, touching the wall and see if her other half can be rejoined. Wherever it is.*
Metal Man (GM): Yes, on the other side, both halves would be rejoined. The others would be dragged across with you, after a loud DING noise would be heard.
Kenku feels his sides return to normal with a grimace "Freaky."
SIMBER: "Anyone who didn't get it already was going to figure it out anyway. Better if you hurry up and encounter this next test instead."
Valentine: "That puzzle was tougher."
Kraela: "Not much though. Just thinking outside the box. And none of us got hurt that time."
Metal Man (GM): For the next puzzle, there are no doors blocking the way ahead at all. There's a white chalk line where a wall should be. It creates a full box, indicating the wall should touch both walls and the ceiling, as well as the floor.
Jason: *Looks to see if there is chalk available.*
Metal Man (GM): Nope.
Kenku tries to place a hand where the wall would be.
Metal Man (GM): Also... brb one sec. Kenku would feel a wall, however--a solid one.
Jason: *Walks over to the chalk area and sees if he can rub the chalk out of the floor.*
Starr: "... This is getting really weird. I don't like it here."
Valentine would think for a moment. "Either a hidden door or try to erase the chalk."
Kaine: "YOU don't like it here? I'm stuck sitting on your shoulder!"
Valentine: "Focus you two."
Metal Man (GM): The chalk is just a symbol; it cannot be wiped. In fact, all it does is cover Jason's hands when he touches it.
Kraela closes her eyes and walks forward with her eyes closed until she hits something.
Metal Man (GM): Kraela solemnly hits what feels like a brick wall.
Kenku sees Jason's hand being covered in it, and tries to rub some against his and "Draw" a door with the residue.
Jason: *Looks at the chalk on his hands, rubbing it along the invisible wall, almost trying to see if he can make a door like Kenku.*
Valentine would check out the area that the chalk covers.
Metal Man (GM): It's about 2-3 inches in diameter, a line... People touching the invisible wall with the chalk would feel their fingers burn and take 10 damage.
Valentine: *Wall to wall? And to the ceiling?*
Jason: "Yow!" *Pulls his hand away.*
Kenku shakes his hand and complains in mumbles.
Valentine: "Wait. Burning chalk?" *Valentine scans the chalk.*
Metal Man (GM): It goes floor to wall, wall to wall, and onto the ceiling. Val determines it is regular chalk. Which is apparently able to masquerade what it really is because regular chalk does not burn people's fingers when they touch invisible walls.
Valentine: "Oh right. Doesn't work here."
Kaine: "Where's that painter when you need her?"
Metal Man (GM): The chalk is still on the hands of the people who touched it, however.
Valentine: "...Metal Man."
Kaine: "Try writing on one of the VISIBLE walls, guys."
Metal Man (GM): Metal Man would appear before Val, sitting behind a desk.
Metal Man: "How is the mission going?"
Kenku: "What visible walls?"
Jason: "The ones off to the side, Kenku. That might work. I like that..." *Tries to draw a door on a visible wall.*
Valentine: "We hit a wall. I need to borrow a marker."
Metal Man (GM): Why, yes, that succeeds, Jason.
Metal Man: "..." *He hands Val a marker.* "This better get us closer to stealing Pirate gold, or fixing the time problem Julian and Garrick made."
Jason: "Ah, ah, here we go. Thaaank you, Kaine."
Valentine: "Hmm. Just get back to your work, Metal Man."
Jason: *Opens the door he created.*
Starr: *She sighs and follows Jason.* "Look Kaine, you're contributing."
Metal Man: "Yeah yeah, just don't take too much longer. I might have to do it myself." *Vanishes.*
Metal Man (GM): The door Jason drew opens right on up.
Kaine: "You're welcome!" *Smiles* "Yeah, I am, not bad for a pint-sized Brawler, is it?"
Metal Man (GM): It leads to the other side of the wall.
Valentine: *And she tosses the marker aside.* "Well, about time I didn't solve everything." *And she goes through.*
Jason: *Heads through.*
Metal Man (GM): Yes. It appears you wanted to go to the left anyway, as you're now in the Stadium area proper.
Kenku follows the others through.
Metal Man (GM): There, Val (and the others) would see... Cranky Kong.
Cranky Kong: "Back in my day, we had to make do with THAC0 and random moves! And we liked it!"
Jason: .oO(No use for him.)
Valentine: "...Is this someone else's memory. I don't remember him."
Cranky Kong: "You youngins don't even know how to make your weapons into ultimate artifacts!"
Kraela: "Do you?"
Kaine: "Ok, do we REALLY need to speak with him?"
Cranky Kong: "Back in my day, this dream world made up things which didn't even exist yet, then they became retroactively real! I don't need to be in your memories, punk!"
Metal Man (GM): He shakes his cane at Kraela.
Kenku: "I don't really plan to." *he says as he looks away and keeps going.*
Cranky Kong: "I am a level 256 Item Mancer! I have a Transformer, Doubler, and a Max Up!"
Valentine: *Valentine would look around the area while that spoke with Cranky.*
Cranky Kong: "I can pop items out of thin air like nothing else! And I am your next test, so don't bother walking into that bottomless pit for me!"
Jason: "We make fine with what we've got, old boy." *Walks past him if he can.*
Valentine: *And when Cranky pings everyone.*
Metal Man (GM): The way ahead is literally blocked by the pit of the Stadium, with no way across. Only Cranky Kong.
Kraela: "What's the test?" *Kraela asks.*
Cranky Kong: "If you want that trophy, you must defeat me in battle!"
Kenku: "Would this be a battle of might?"
Valentine: "Could you heal some of us first?"
Cranky Kong: "I am the ultimate warrior who ever existed! I have the ranged attack power of Razor, the HP of the Master egg, the physical power of Julian Sawyer! I possess the magical powers of Kuja, Ael, Aribar, and Zio! I have the speed of Sonic the Hedgehog while Super, and the diplomatic capabilities of Kit Orbel, Panzer, and Ivan Robotnik!"
Kenku: "Really? show us how fast you are?"
Cranky Kong: "This is the ultimate fight of all time! There is no healing, no SP, no extra lives, and no superpowers! Except mine, because I am more powerful than anything you have ever seen!"
Metal Man (GM): He teleports next to Kenku.
Starr: "Is that Kit girl really so diplomatic?"
Valentine: "You be surprised."
Starr: "She's like, what, twelve?"
Cranky Kong: "She fooled grown adults with her stupor powers! Never trust children and their super powers!"
Metal Man (GM): He warps back.
Kraela: "He doesn't seem to measure up to her."
Cranky Kong: "Challenge me, or you will just have to turn back like wimps! I can netsplit reality itself, just like Ninestein and The Void!"
Kaine: "She has a lot of practice."
Valentine: "Very well. We'll challenge you."
Cranky Kong: "Then begin the battle!"
Starr: "Can we just walk past him too? I mean, he specifically told us not to go into the pit. Typically our enemies aren't good at reverse psychology..."
Cranky Kong: "...I decided not to put any points into that useless init thing. It has no purpose! We didn't even have a stat for that!"
Jason: *To Starr* "I might like that, Your Majesty. We'll have to see."
Kraela: "It's called agility."
Metal Man (GM): Cranky Kong stands out of his chair. He holds his cane out. It opens up like a Swiss Army Knife. Yes. Kaine can only use Ranged attacks though. Out comes...
Valentine: "Someone grab his cane from him and hit him with it."
Starr: "Go Krae, you're the speedster."
Metal Man (GM): Chaos Maker, Chaos Breaker, Equilibrium, The Swords of Light and Darkness, a chainsaw, a black hole shaped into the shape of a sword, Schnelltott, Sephiroth's Masamune, and a rabbit on a stick with a bomb in its mouth. Then he points his left hand at you. It turns into a gatling gun with a shotgun, a rocket launcher, a DVD launcher, a giant punching glove on a stick, and a flamethrower combined. A force field of multiple colors appears, glowing so much it makes him almost invisible.
Kraela: "Can somebody give me a reason why I shouldn't say 'fuck this shit' and turn around?"
Valentine: "Remember. Normal weapons don't work here."
Cranky Kong: "You have no reason not to flee, whelp. I encourage it!"
Starr: "... That's a damn good question, Krae. Hey, Kaine, do you know of a super strong Melee weapon?" =.=
Metal Man (GM): Kraela, Starr, Kenku, Val, Kaine, Cranky Kong.
Valentine: "Just use the best weapon that comes to mind. Or your best allies."
Kaine: "Uh... not off hand, sorry."
Cranky Kong: "I am so powerful, I am my own team!"
Metal Man (GM): You see astral projections of Chunky Kong alongside him.
Starr: "Best... Allies?"
Metal Man (GM): One of them is wearing a Darkdata mask. They have a guitar-harp of death. And also wield a piano with an extra second and third set of arms.
Starr: *She grins and begins laughing... Almost evilly.* "I can use my army!"
Jason: *Laughs a few times* "You're... you're doing it wrong, dude."
Kraela: "Try it, Princess."
Cranky Kong: "I am so old, Rock and Roll meant 'Rolling rocks at people' in my day!"
Kaine: "Sounds right. Rock his world!"
Cranky Kong: "Just try and hit me! I am the ultimate enemy! And the ultimate hero! At the same time, because back in my day, stories didn't have the money to have two kinds of characters!"
Metal Man (GM): To his left is another Chunky, er, Cranky (that was a typo earlier), who appears to be part Yoshi, part dragon, part Bob-omb, part lemon, part Reploid, part demon, part cat, part orc, part princess, part Lunarian, part Time Cop. They appear to be wielding a 20-tier wedding cake with antimatter toppings.
Kraela: "Sorry, old-timer. I play old school. This isn't a fight that I'm interested in." *She goes into a defensive stance.*
Cranky Kong: "Come, hit me before I gain another thousand levels in every class you can think of just from standing here!"
Metal Man (GM): He spends his time waiting for his turn scanning himself with one of every kind of smash dex ever made.
Starr: *She concentrates hard on summoning... What looks like an army of black Yoshis, some mounted bullet bill cannons. Behind them are her generals, Red Boos. Beside the cannon carrying Yoshis are Birdos.* "I AM THE WARRIOR PRINCESS, STARR!"
Metal Man (GM): The cacophony of dings is punctuated by numbers several digits too large for this world scroll by. Starr's army appears in front of her, as she imagines it. The Cranky Kongs laugh merrily.
Cranky Kong: "I am an army. You can only hope to match my strength with that. You cannot surpass it that way!"
Starr: "And you are nothing but my weak cousin's little toads!" *She cackles.*
Metal Man (GM): The Cranky Kongs continue to do various annoying ways to show off their power, like utilizing some hole in reality to endlessly counter-attack one another. Their stats are so high, they cannot harm one another when counter-attacking one another.
Kaine: "Which cousin?"
Cranky Kong: "So... are you going to attack us, or just stand there while we gain more power?"
Starr: "Hm, I almost expected that to work... Oh, my cousin Peach." *She smiles and sics the army on the first Cranky Kong.*
Metal Man (GM): They charge at the first Cranky Kong. He laughs and floats up into the air. Then he splits into hundreds of phantoms, and the lights dim as they fly all over the place. Within moments, the entire army is shredded to bits by the unholy reality-bending power.
Cranky Kong: "At level 9001, I gained the skill to counter attack infinitely. Nice try, though."
Metal Man (GM): He picks a piece of Yoshi out of his beard.
Starr: "... No... My army..."
Cranky Kong: "Don't worry, you can summon them again. And then I can cut them into even more enjoyable slices of sushi! You just won't be going anywhere soon!"
Valentine: "Looks like we'll need to change our plans."
Cranky Kong: "I am infinity, wolf-pup. Go home to your mother... or wait, she is probably dead. Well, I could make her alive again if she isn't!"
Starr: "My army... I trained them myself..."
Cranky Kong: "I don't care. All I know is you're going nowhere, puppy!"
Kraela: "An old fart like him shouldn't be that strong."
Metal Man (GM): His Darkdata-version plays bizarre show tunes that consist of Frank Sinatra accompanied by death metal growls.
Jason: *Shakes his head* "Something's wrong there..."
Metal Man (GM): You're not sure if you want to be flown to whatever moon involves screaming about Cthulhu.
Kaine: "Hey, maybe someone should imagine Mario's hammer and smack him with THAT!"
Cranky Kong: "I'm real in this realm, which is why you will go nowhere. Hah!"
Valentine: "No. WE can't beat him power for power. But we can beat him."
Cranky Kong: "Mario can't beat me. I have all his moves! And then their omega versions... and Waluigi's too!"
Kenku steps back into a focusing position and tries to remember the motions of his final smash, bringing up the electricity from the Colonel's blade.
Metal Man (GM): The Final Smash would appear... ready for you to use it against Cranky. Do you attempt it? And of course, feel free to describe it. Although I will note, most important to me is what it does rather than needlessly long describing.
Kenku will once charges, unleash it... sending himself flying along as a bolt of lighting... although as he approaches Cranky, he keeps going, trying to land near the edge of the hole.
Metal Man (GM): Cranky sees you coming. In a fit of rage, he spends 3,247 luckies to dodge you. You land near the edge, while Cranky seems to have changed his tune a bit.
Cranky Kong: "How dare you try to push me into there--you'd make me completely invincible and then this would no longer be funny!"
Kenku: *If the is still more time, Kenku tries to stab into the hole.*
Metal Man (GM): Kenku stabs at the darkness. Nothing happens, then a bag of cheetos lands on his head.
Cranky Kong: "Now that's more like it!"
Valentine: "I think Cranky just gave it away."
Cranky Kong: "Don't even bother scanning it. It'd make your head explode! And then I would revive you, just so I could laugh at you."
Valentine: "How about I jump down there?"
Cranky Kong: "And then I would play basketball with your head, while acing every initiation test that ever existed. Sure, seeing you die would be amusing. You'd be like Luigi!"
Valentine: "I think it would make me invincible."
Cranky Kong: "What? You're crazy! Don't even think about it!"
Kraela: "Thinking crazy has worked for her so far."
Metal Man (GM): The way into the pit is clear.
Valentine: "Think? I'm a Quester. We don't think." *And she would run and jump into the pit.*
Metal Man (GM): *POOM* ...Val dies.
Cranky Kong: "HAHAHAHAHA... there's my 9 million diplomacy points at work! Tricked ya!"
Metal Man (GM): He dances.
Cranky Kong: "Ooooh, oooh, don't leap into the pit, it'll make you invincible!"
Jason: "...Uh right."
Metal Man (GM): The... emblem?
Cranky Kong: "So, who wants to smell what Cranky is cooking?"
Kaine: "Well crap..." *Hmmm......*
Metal Man (GM): As the Darkdata clone pulls out a delicious pie.
Kaine: *Checks the pit, wondering if there's a way to jump across it.*
Cranky Kong: "The most delicious pie ever seen by anything!"
Metal Man (GM): The pit seems to go on forever.
Starr: *W* "Kaine... Think if we knocked him in there... He'd die too?"
Kraela: "Poor Valentine. She shall be sorely missed," *Kraela says in a deadpan tone.*
Cranky Kong: "Yeah, knock me right in! I'll become invincible! Hahahahaaaa!"
Kaine: *W* "Probably, good luck getting it to happen though." *Shrugs and launches a grenade at Cranky.*
Cranky Kong: "You suckers have no clue how high my listen check is! Look and despair!"
Starr: "Dare I say you hate her more than me, Krae?"
Metal Man (GM): Cranky stops time and stares at the grenade. He then carefully scratches his initials into it.
Kraela: "You haven't tried to run the show yet, Princess. Nice work with the army, though."
Metal Man (GM): Then he picks it out of thin air and reattaches the pin to it, disarms it... And hands it right back to Kaine. And even heals Kaine back to normal! Still at whatever HP he has, though.
Kaine: "Thanks!" *Immediately crushes Starr.*
Cranky Kong: "That was so pathetic, I had to heal you to not be killed by how foolish it was!"
Starr: "Those are my troops from hom- GAH!"
Kaine: "Sorry..." *Fireballs the monkey.*
Metal Man (GM): He eats the fireball!
Cranky Kong: "Mmm... fire..."
Kaine: "Well, CRAP!"
Cranky Kong: "I guess you are stuck in the box. Enjoy your safe existence."
Starr: "This is... Pointless..." *X_x.*
Cranky Kong: "Yes! You'll never figure out how to beat me! Only beat yourselves instead! So, why don't you get it over with and kill yourselves by pushing me into the pit, huh? Or run home. Yeah."
Jason: *He's still hesitant to actually try running across, but he envisions the pit as a long, empty hallway with a solid floor.*
Metal Man (GM): The pit stays the same. A pathway extends out to the pit, but doesn't actually go anywhere.
Cranky Kong: "Go ahead and try it, I'd like to see you die like the cocky woman did! I can just sit back and watch you all leap into the pit, killing yourselves because you cannot stand my magnificence!"
Jason: "Heh heh heh, naaaaah." *Then he envisions a pair of warp pipes--one near where he is and one at a far end where there is solid ground.*
Metal Man (GM): It's so far away, you can't tell where the other end is.
Jason: *Specifically, the one where the battle party is directly leads to the far one.*
Metal Man (GM): You have yourself a warp pipe though.
Cranky Kong: *Shrugs* "Well, I guess you beat me. Have at it, victorious victor."
Jason: "I dunno where it leads yet, but it is an interesting thing..." *How much more TP does he have?*
Metal Man (GM): Odd, summoning the warp pipe and path to nowhere took no TP.
Starr: "... I don't trust that ape..."
Jason: *Then envisions Cranky stuffed inside a solid, opaque box.*
Cranky Kong: "A battle of wills, eh? Have at you!"
Metal Man (GM): Will check, Jason. *PING* That ate 4 TP.
Cranky Kong: "I am the meaning of life! You can't outthink me!"
Jason: "And yet you panic..."
Cranky Kong: "I fear your awesome thinking skills, yes."
Jason: *Then he envisions Cranky Kong as a helpless infant...*
Metal Man (GM): Nope. Cranky Kong's all-will seems to be inescapable. *PING.*
Jason: "Okay, so I can't change you, whatever." *EOT.*
Cranky Kong: "Hahaha... fooled ya! And now, all of you die! ... Not! Watching you kill yourselves is better!"
Starr: ". . ." >.o
Cranky Kong: "C'mon, jump in the pit. It won't hurt. More than a lot."
Starr: "Krae, remember what Kenku did? Try doing that."
Cranky Kong: "Yes, try it! It'll make me invincible! THEN you will all die. Hah!"
Kraela: "First let me try bringing Val back. She'll owe me even if it doesn't work." *She thinks of Valentine.*
Valentine: "You are very stupid."
Metal Man (GM): She appears next to Kraela.
Valentine: "I am going to charge you 3000 coins now."
Starr: "Sounds like our Val."
Valentine: "You should have defeated this puzzle already."
Kraela: "You tried. And failed."
Valentine: "But I made the answer obvious in the process."
Kraela: "By dying?"
Valentine: "Why don't you use what you learned from my failure?"
Starr: "YES! DAMNIT KRAE! USE YOUR BRAIN MEATS!"
Valentine: "Or are you just too dense to realize what the weakness of the invincible monkey is? I won't tell you, it should be obvious."
Cranky Kong: "It's not obvious, because I used my 3.2 million INT to hide it inside a needle inside a whale inside the sun! HAH!"
Cranky Kong: "You'll never figure it out. Just jump in the pit, then I can roundhouse-kick Candlejack AND Chuck Norris at the same time!"
Kraela: "Anybody have any useful advice?"
Starr: "Krae think! If I solve this and you don't I am going to hold it over you forever!"
Valentine: "The princess has the right idea. And I will join her in holding it over you if you still do not get it."
Metal Man (GM): Cranky Kong spends his time min-maxing his stats more. You see him idly move stats from STR into TECH and then into some other stats, maximizing his burning, poisoning, and mind-destroyingly powerful black hole abilities.
Kraela: "Even if I fail, you've got nothing on me. I'll do this my way." *She envisions the emblem that she saw Kenku use before.*
Valentine: "I await your decision. Maybe this time you won't fall for the rook's trap."
Metal Man (GM): You see the emblem. Why, it grants you great power--but not as much as Cranky's. But what do you do with this strength? Cranky seems almost bored. He's got some hole in reality next to him, with which he chats with other elderly-looking apes about something called 'Monkey Fist-Fight 3000.'
Cranky Kong: "Just 6 more hours and I will equal the Lunarian army for the longest fight ever... ...zzz..."
Kraela: *She rushes forward at Cranky and then disappears. For several seconds, only flashes of her can be seen as she attempts to cut at Cranky, finishing with a solid kick to the chest.*
Metal Man (GM): Cranky falls over, and a Zelda 'defeated boss' tune plays. ...Then he stands up and heals all his wounds and laughs.
Cranky Kong: "You almost had me there. Listening to those other people... ha ha ha ha... you're so simple!"
Kraela: "I told you already. I play old school."
Cranky Kong: "Back in my day, that was called New School!"
Starr: "... You're a moron, Krae." *She tries to get her own smash ball.*
Cranky Kong: "Old Skool, spelled with a K, is throwing barrels!"
Metal Man (GM): Starr gets that as well.
Valentine: "I have to concur. Only the weight of your gold keeps me from joining Cranky's side."
Kraela: "If I stop thinking about you, will you go away again?"
Starr: *She breaks it with her parasol, and glows... Pink? Then summons a BFG... That'll shoot a giant Bullet Bill.* "See this? You can take this and shove it up your-" *BOOM!* *It goes off in Starr's attempt to shove Cranky into the hole? NO! She attacks the hole directly!*
Jason: "Oooh, nice one, Majesty!"
Starr: "It fired before I got to finish my taunt..."
Kaine: "It works."
Metal Man (GM): He stands there and raises an eyebrow.
Cranky Kong: "...BUZZ."
Valentine: "The hole? Really?"
Starr: "That just narrows it down." *She smirks,* "Shove the monkey in the pit."
Cranky Kong: "You come close, but in the end, you still get nothing! And make me invincible? Go ahead... I'll blow you up!"
Metal Man (GM): Starr would get... another bag of cheetos.
Kenku picks the cheetos bag off his head and looks at it.
Metal Man (GM): Perfectly mundane bag of cheetos. Complete with cheetos.
Kenku puts it down for the moment an tries to imagine the darkness coming out of the pool and pulling Cranky into it.
Kaine: *Picks up the bag off of the Princess' head* "Hey, dinner for later. Want me to hold it for you?"
Starr: "... Eh, might as well."
Metal Man (GM): Cranky stands there...
Cranky Kong: "You'll never figure it out!"
Metal Man (GM): He floats over the pit.
Cranky Kong: "I may as well tell you it, before I kill you all. I was lying about the pit. You needed to push me in to I--" *He looks down.* "...Whoops."
Metal Man (GM): *POOM.*
Kaine: "Well, THAT was anticlimactic..."
Metal Man (GM): A bridge appears, across the pit, and to the Final Destination. Val can revive for real, using 1 SP.
Jason: "Yeah... he was probably gonna ubermode himself on us if we tried it..."
Starr: "We survived, does it matter?"
Kaine: *Shrugs and heads down the path.*
Kenku: "Yea, getting enough of a grip on him to throw him into the pit was the issue. Anyway..." *Kenku says as he heads down the path.*
Valentine: *Val is back.* "Welcome back, myself."
Jason: *Takes the path.*
Valentine: "...Oh. Someone I can actually talk to. Hello, me."
Valentine: "I'll let you explain how imagining I am alive doesn't actually make me alive, me, and do them a favor by vanishing."
Valentine: "You sure?"
Valentine: "They would have to pay both of us."
Kraela: "My memory of you pisses me off," *Krae declares, refuting the other Val's existence.*
Valentine: "They can't afford me."
Metal Man (GM): The Val that was summoned earlier vanishes, leaving only the real one.
Jason: "Oh, that's better."
Valentine: "True. They barely have enough to cover my low wages."
Metal Man (GM): On the Final Destination, is the Crazy Hand trophy. It glimmers sinisterly.
Starr: "It's a trap." *She sounds bored when she says it...*
Kaine: "Of course it is."
Jason: "Considering how spooky it looked while we were at the base..."
Kaine: "But sadly, it must be sprung..."
Starr: "Then you touch it Jason."
Jason: "Not yet." *Whistles, looking up to the heavens* "We're waiting."
Kaine: "I'll do it, I only have 1 HP left anyway." *Smirks, but pauses at Jason's comment.*
Metal Man (GM): Nothing comes. There is only the statue.
Starr: "..." *She imagines and throws a rock at it.*
Valentine: "The issue is getting back still."
Metal Man (GM): It laughs malevolently at you. Not anymore, Digi! His HP is now 1, because he said it was 1. And before he can set it back, the evil statue floats up and morphs into the real Crazy Hand!
Kenku looks at it. "Well if it must be sprung... all I can say is we better..." he stops mid scentece as he hears the laugh and looks to the statue.
Metal Man (GM): Erm, I think so, but regardless of what it was, the 4th-wall breaking here just made it reality again.
Crazy Hand: "Hahahahahahaaaaa! Welcome, Defenders of the Stadium!"