Date: 4:28:50 PM, October 21st; 4:28:19 PM, October 31st; 4:41:24 PM, November 1st, 2012.
Metal Man (GM): Continuation. The Questers, er I mean Alex Fender was helping to clear the path for the liberation of Port Royal.
Alex Fender is standing atop the gun which is on the bulldozer, surrounded by a mess of soldiers, grinning a manic grin and playing a low, pounding sort of rift on his guitar.
Metal Man (GM): A massive explosion had been triggered, blanking out the area. The explosion would eventually go down, revealing... the next obstacle. Jack's front line of defense... An army of skeletal GUN soldiers, the same one that Keikyoku and Flaeyn had summoned with the statues long ago.
Alex Fender: "Now this! This! THIS IS THE BEES KNEES, BABY!! C'mon! S'go s'go! Smash through 'em!"
Metal Man (GM): They would look at the incoming soldiers and mindlessly cackle and growl and fire lasers haphazardly everywhere. That, anyway, is mostly just special effects. The real battle begins as they all charge towards the convoy, with you being one of their foremost targets! ALEX FENDER VS. THE HORDES OF GOLDEN STATUE UNDEAD ROUND 1 There are too many of them to bother mathematically destroying them. More important is the waves of attackers. The first one is running at you with a bayonet, without any real strategy. The soldiers generally will finish off whatever you manage to trip or damage, or at least distract. Whatever stays too close to you, though, you have to kill or deal with, since they have to avoid friendly fire. The soldiers don't seem afraid of the skeletons, no. The soldiers charging? Yes, hesitant to do that. There's a huge plague of those things, too many for them to seemingly run into unassisted.
Alex Fender bends hard at the knees and LEAPS into the air. High. REALLY high. As he leaps, it sounds as if he's starting to play something a great deal more complicated than anything they've heard him play before. It's something pounding that makes all the soldiers (except the enemies, of course) blood pump harder. It makes them feel as if they had some boundless energy in their bodies. He There's something about this guy's music that really hits them in the heart and super charges it. He's coming down into the skeletons, his voice and guitar blaring, echoing out.
Metal Man (GM): The enemies don't have blood to pump anyway. :v Ah. Nifty. You hit a nice swath of allies with that, since pretty much most of the army is around you. Yes, that's fine. Heh, certainly. Gold Statue Skeletons The skeletons decide they will be really annoying. So the first one decides to try and grab your guitar. This provokes an AoO because it has the combat reflexes of... a rotting skeleton.
Alex Fender can't really respond in his usual way, since he's kinda singing, buuuuut... he does give it an incredulous look and backhands it with his guitar.
Metal Man (GM): You hit it. It barely avoids being exploded. However, you knock it aside and the gunmen blast it to smithereens. Two more skeletons walk into range with you, and that is their turn.
Alex Fender surges around then, constantly moving almost every part of his body. Fingers, arms, legs, and mouth. Sounds like him. He swings his guitar in a wide arch...
Metal Man (GM): SMAAASH Does that threaten both or just one of them?
Alex Fender smashes his guitar through the first one, the body arching toward the second as well!
Metal Man (GM): One of them stumbles and dies due to the soldiers. Gold Statue Skeletons The other one tries to shoot at you. He shoots nothing. Three more skeletons walk in to face you, as well.
Alex Fender turns to them, charging forward toward them as they come in, his guitar thrusting forward and through the one in the middle.
Metal Man (GM): This would be where you hit it. *BOOOM.*
Alex Fender reaches forward with his other hand and slams the guitar backward in a lever action to hit the one to his right.
Metal Man (GM): Gold Statue Skeletons. One of them reaches for your guitar, again. AOO time!
Alex Fender growls out the next verse in irritation before making to smash its face in. Or what is left of its face.
Metal Man (GM): Hit. It stumbles back and gets gibbed by the massive damage you did. Yes. You are. It's more of an endurance thing anyway. The other two try to shoot at you. CRITICAL 6 damage!
Alex Fender grunts as he takes a shot in his side, the bullet passing clean through.
Metal Man (GM): Then, to make your life worse, four more skeletons appear, upping the total to 6
Alex Fender spins around, suddenly finding himself surrounded. This wasn't looking too good... until he changes his song. (Stevie Ray Vaughn, Texas Flood) He turns his song into a flowing melody of crazy licks that slams into each zombie individually.*
Metal Man (GM): Ok... roll 'em. Hit hit hit hit hit hit. Look at all of those horrible failures! The first one dies outright, the other 3 are shoved off and get mowed down by soldiers. This leaves only two damaged ones facing you. Gold Skeletons They flank you with sword stabs. 3 damage. For some reason, no more of them appear. It seems there's something bigger up ahead!
Alex Fender ends his song, swinging his guitar around his body to smash through the both of them!
Metal Man (GM): Or smash the air to bits. Luckily for you, the skellies... back off. Gold Skeletons Something different is happening. Up ahead... is an angelic golden statue. It's just sitting there, doing nothing.
Alex Fender: "Yeah! You best back off! YOU DUN WANT NO MORE OF TH--huhwha?"
Metal Man (GM): You reach it as your turn starts. It's just sitting there.
Alex Fender slides up to it and stops.
Bulldozer Operator: "Should we smash it?"
Metal Man (GM): He also stops.
Alex Fender: "...sh... sh... shiiiiiiiny... So very shiiiiiny..."
Metal Man (GM): It glows at you. You suddenly have a vision. You see a silver armored man... a giant 1950's bomber-ish space ship... He is followed by... another silver armored man, a winged man, a blue Kirby, a one-armed elf, and a woman with an eyepatch over her eye. Images of gigantic explosions occurring all over Alsa appear. And for some reason an image of your transformer exploding. The statue then glows and comes off its pedestal, now... alive???
Statue: "Stop your incursion. A threat greater than this threatens us all. If you defeat Jack, this planet is doomed."
Metal Man (GM): Oddly, this doesn't seem to be in the script. You can see some of Jack's undead looking... confused.
Alex Fender: "...whoa. Whoa whoa whoa."
Metal Man (GM): The statue is some sort of feminine angel.
Alex Fender: "Okay, hotness? Stop for a second." *He shoulders his guitar and reaches behind him, pulling out a big stack of papers.*
Metal Man (GM): It looks at the papers.
Statue: "What are those?"
Alex Fender: "This isn't supposed to happen. See, look here. Act 3? I smash through the skeletons."
Statue: "You wish to smash the skeletons. But the skeletons are needed to kill the silver man."
Alex Fender: "Then we have a showdown with some large mutant looking things before we go find some putz inside the--no, you're way off script here, honey. Even the Game Master said so."
Editor's Note: The Game Master speaking here. Alex Fender and his player were pretty much consistently off script for this entire game and probably should have never joined it in the first place -- at the time I was just too nice to say no.
Statue: "..." *The Statue shrugs.* "If you wish to fight me for no reason, then you shall be obliged. I am an instrument of the higher powers myself. What you say and what has happened all mean what you think they should to me."
Alex Fender sees to stare at her, sighing, then puts the papers away.
Statue: "But be warned, that upon the destruction of me and this town, the silver finisher shall slay the guardian of order and bring a new age of chaos to this realm."
Alex Fender: "Hold on... ahem...*Cough*...GOD! CHEETOS! There we go. Back in character."
Statue: "I have finished my primary function. Now... for my secondary."
Metal Man (GM): The statue takes out a massive burning sword and changes... to titanium.
Alex Fender: "Who is this silver armor dude, hot angel la--whooooooa nelly."
Statue: "Jack's will shall not be disobeyed, for he protects the planet. You threaten the planet with your plans. I will smite you with the wrath of Alsa or be destroyed. It is not my hand to decide what happens to me. The Silver Man is the eighty eighth parallel, the mirror of your destruction."
Alex Fender: "No no no, sweet thaaaaaang! You've got it all wrong! We're not here to kill Jack!"
Statue: "..." *It lowers the sword.* "What are you here for?"
Alex Fender: "We want the stuff in the town hall place! Like, people are sick and hurtin' and shit! And stuff to fix them is in the town hall!"
Statue: "..." *It holds up a hand. Jack's image appears, a sort of magi-comms.*
Alex Fender: "'Least, that's what they told me!" *He points at the soldiers behind him.*
Jack: "What is this nonsense? Helping people? Healing people? Kill them, Angel of death!"
Statue: "I protect the planet AND its people."
Jack: "No no no! You protect the shiny ruins I found you in! Kill! Kill him! Kill his guts! He even WANTS to fight!"
Alex Fender: "HEY! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT I WANT! I TELL ME WHAT I WANT!"
Statue: "You have abused my function, Jack. If he only wishes to heal his people, I cannot in good conscience send my minions against him."
Alex Fender: "Look, angel lady. Garrick? The peepz in the cave? And my sexy self? We just want the peepz to be happy and safe. Jack is KILLIN' the peepz! How can you say you're helpin' the peepz when Jack is KILLIN' THE PEEPZ?!"
Statue: "At one time. He killed only the invaders. It appears his function has become corroded."
Alex Fender: "'Dats because the Questers were dumbusses!"
Jack: "No no no! NO! Kill him!"
Alex Fender: "I don't blame him!"
Statue: "We must stand together against the Silver Finisher."
Jack: "Silver what?"
Alex Fender: "Who the fuck is this gu--whoooooooooooooooooaaaaaa."
Statue: "You read my predictions, Jack. Why did you ignore them?"
Alex Fender: "...STATUE LADY! I HAD A THING! ONE OF THOSE BRAIN THINGS!"
Jack: "Because it's all a bunch of hokey discernible @#$%!"
Alex Fender: "What are they called..."
Jack: "Now, you kill him, or... I don't know. Maybe I melt you down and sell you to some idiot like last time!"
Alex Fender: "...ignorant? No... Ishmael? That ain't it... ...ISLAND BONANZA!...nope..."
Statue: "I still hate you for what you did that time, Jack."
Alex Fender: "Hey, hey bulldozer guy!"
Jack: "Now look. You heard the man. He got out the script. You're supposed to summon a huge skeleton and kill him! Do it! Or I'm replacing you with a Hula Dancer bobblehead!"
Alex Fender: "What happens when your brain spits out one of those things that makes you go, 'HOLY CRAP!'...? What're those called?"
Statue: "I cannot destroy my own planet for the trivial pursuits of a murderer..." *The Jack-comm goes out.* "An idea? ...You must hurry. He is coming to summon the skeleton you mentioned earlier."
Alex Fender: "AN IDEA! THAT'S---a wha? Skeleton? Oh. Yeah, we'll smash it. But hey, look, statue lady? You speak for that big ball thing, right? Or are you all on your lonesome or some--HEY! YOU LOT OF SOLDIERS! GO GET THE SUPPLIES FROM THE CITY HALL!! The skeletons will back off, the statue said so!"
Statue: "..." *She would get a strange grin.* "We can BOTH smash the skeleton." *She would then nod.* "I am the more refined representative of Alsa's energy, the arbiter of justice."
Alex Fender: "Go go!"
Metal Man (GM): The soldiers hurry into the hall as the statue looks to you further.
Alex Fender: "The statue lady and I will deal with whatever Jack Attack sends our way." *He looks to the statue.*
Statue: "We were made to represent the planet, because the planet itself is too primitive to properly speak to humans."
Alex Fender: "Look, you gots to know."
Statue: "It knows only destruction, when not given a focus. The ancients created us to protect the planet and build order with the energy that formerly only killed."
Alex Fender: "All Garrick wants is the place to be coolsville. No more fightin', no more dyin', no more pain and sufferin'. You know, hippy shit."
Metal Man (GM): It would resurrect the dead skeletons, and simply have them take guard.
Statue: "You wish to continue the cycle by resurrecting the Golden Age."
Alex Fender: "He just doesn't want more Jack like people!"
Statue: "That, is acceptable. This age can either reset the world, or send it into an enlightened age."
Alex Fender: "And the ball is all like, 'I'MMA MAKE MORE JACK LIKE PEOPLE!'... And Garrick is all like, 'Nah, bro.'..."
Statue: "..." *It shakes its head.* "It merely wants more people who wish to defend itself. It is very bad at expressing that."
Alex Fender: "And Garrick is all for that!"
Statue: "It activated me because it thought perhaps you saw differently. Few people who have invaded have attempted to actually help the people here."
Alex Fender: "Just so long as no one KILLS EVERYONE. Look, me? I just want to have fun. And I have fun by rockin' out. Rock and roll will save the world some day, hotness."
Statue: "...We have our own rules, but you may be an acceptable addition to this world's guardians."
Metal Man (GM): Jack then appears.
Alex Fender: "If I can bring rock and happiness and smiles and friendship and all that bullshit to the masses, then sign me the fuc--WHOA!"
Jack: "No no NO! Where is the death! Where is the pain! Why are you TALKING?"
Alex Fender: "BECAUSE I HAVE A MOUTH, BUTTSHITTER!"
Jack: "Kill! KILL KILL KILL! BURN! Why aren't you staying silent while a giant skeleton kills him? He's... he's... well he isn't one of those Questers! ...Kill him anyway!"
Statue: "He does not share their selfishness."
Jack: "Fine, I'll kill him!"
Alex Fender: "You wanna go, brosef!?"
Metal Man (GM): He powers up his staff... fires a deathray right at you... it stops inches from your face.
Jack: "What the f@#$?"
Alex Fender swings his guitar to bat it away... and falls to the ground as he misses. "BLARGH--" *WHAM.*
Statue: "The powers of this planet will not aid you in killing possible allies."
Jack: "..." *He gets REAL mad now.* "You... YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE MY SPOT? MY CHAIR? I AM THE MASTER GOD MCPIMP OF THIS ISLAND, YOU WANNABE!"
Alex Fender: "DUDE, YOU COULDN'T PIMP A BULLDOG TO A MALE BULLDOG WITH HUGE NUTS!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out something entirely new--a really, REALLY fancy looking staff, made of all the gold and diamonds you could ever see.
Alex Fender: "I will break my foot off in your ass, then grow a new one and do it again!" *He stands back up and growls at Jack, his guitar vibrating.*
Jack: "I'll pimpslap you into the next century, then reincarnate and knock you back here just so I can see the expression on your face, b@#$%!"
Metal Man (GM): (((((( VS. JACK (YET AGAIN, IN YET ANOTHER WAY) ))))))
Alex Fender: "I'VE GOT HOT GOLDEN BITCHES BACKIN' ME UP! S'GO! S'DO THIS!"
Jack: "You'll be sorry for stealing my hot golden b@#$es!"
Alex Fender: "Yeah?! Well you play baseball LIKE A GIRL!"
Statue: "It appears that men remain as crude as they were 10 centuries ago... ...some day that should be changed."
Editor's Note: Thankfully all of this vulgarity ceased to be a thing in REVELATION and beyond, so, at least that prophecy came true.
Alex Fender is just sorta standing there, screaming at Jack.
Jack: "You play guitar like a Mariachi!"
Alex Fender: "... ...you did not just insult my rock..."
Jack: "I insult everything I like in JackLand! Feel the pain, coming down at you from all directions!" *He makes a futile gesture.* "...I mean on your head, because the planet has gone temporarily stupid!"
Metal Man (GM): He goes in to swing at your face with that long staff. *SMACK* 8 damage.
Jack: "Feel that, huh? You got my name engraved on your skull!"
Metal Man (GM): ...By god... he really did make it slam his name into your skull... He wasted an entire enchantment solely on that...
Alex Fender goes flying a ways, then stands up and growls. His hair seems to be rising up somewhat. "STATUE LADY! THIS IS SELF DEFENSE, ALRIGHT?! SELF DEFENSE!!"
Statue: "Yes. Feel free to defeat him. Don't kill him. He's mine."
Alex Fender: "FUCK YES! I WILL SELF DEFENSE YOU SO HARD, YOU'LL VOMIT UP YOUR COLON!"
Jack: "That sounds like some wimpy thing Digifanatic would say!"
Alex Fender: "YOU BITCH!" *He charges straight at him and brings his guitar in a massive baseball swing.*
Metal Man (GM): Hit. It's like telling Mt. Rushmore to go and explode. But you hit him good.
Jack: "All right, you want me to go nasty on you? I'll go Sergeant Levis on your @$%!"
Metal Man (GM): He decides to use the sharp end of the staff and swings it at you with abandon. 8 damage.
Jack: "Let me at least cast a spell, Statue! I'm not going to be in good shape if you just let him whale on me like this!"
Alex Fender: "FUCK! YOUR! STAFF!!!"
Statue: "So far your only superior attribute involves using our help and being more durable than him."
Alex Fender brings his guitar down right on top of that special glittering staff of his.
Statue: "If that is your only improvement then I have no interest in supporting it when it kills people we need to save us all."
Metal Man (GM): You hit him good. Ah. What's the rules with that again? It IS kinda brittle... You're so lucky. That's just 1 above it. Ah, I remember that. It came up because Metal Man ran around attacking everyone's weapons for a while. You crack it good. It's not broken, but it can't take another one of those. It's mostly ornamental.
Jack: "D-damn it! Damnn ITTTTTT! WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BREAK MY STAFF!"
Metal Man (GM): Yeah. And Jack is all about the shinies. Jack gets ultra mad. The ground cracks. He appears to have obtained some of his magical energy back.
Statue: "This... isn't supposed to be possible."
Jack: "You'll find that getting me mad is the worst thing you can do! HYAH!" *He then summons... Alsan magic. Not D&D magic.* "BURN, MOTHERF@#$ER! FIRE ELE!"
Metal Man (GM): Before you can even move, you take 10 fire damage. The entire area around you is engulfed in a cube of fire.
Alex Fender gets lit on fucking fire.
Jack: "And don't think about hitting me! WALL!"
Metal Man (GM): He sets up a barrier that blocks up to 8 damage in front of him. It's 20 feet long and 10 feet tall.
Jack: "How's it feel now, huh? HUH?"
Alex Fender pants, on one knee. He's torched, bleeding, and in generally bad shape...
Jack: "You can trick the statues, but they're conduits. I just had to call long distance!"
Metal Man (GM): Some soldiers emerge from the building with first aid supplies. One of them would toss a Cure Medium Wounds-level medpack to you.
Alex Fender kicks it back to him. "'Sgood!"
Soldier: "Don't need it? Okay... good luck, kill that monster!"
Alex Fender swings his guitar into position, starting to play a low, sweet song...
Jack: "Another spellcaster, huh? Your pansy-@#$ spells are dust besides Alsan ones!"
Alex Fender: "...heh... you don't seem to get it, bitch..."
Statue: "...I must admit. The Alsan spells are powerful, but limited in usage. That was the limitation of the ancients' foresight."
Jack: "I don't need 200 uses to burn this punk into ashes! Now you're done! Eat fire!"
Metal Man (GM): He hits his own wall. It burns down.
Jack: "...Damn you line of sight!"
Metal Man (GM): He then looks around... and sees the bulldozer.
Jack: "Fine, I'll use something else!"
Metal Man (GM): He makes a gesture at it. It starts floating off the ground... then begins floating at you.
Jack: "How about a bulldozer to the head, huh? How's that feel? Good? Awesome? You'll be playing guitar in hell when I'm done with you!"
Metal Man (GM): 7 damage. He tries, and fails, to make it land on you.
Jack: "Stupid lack of precision!"
Metal Man (GM): It keeps on going and lands harmlessly on the other side of you. It appears Jack is mostly good at blowing things up, not really wisely doing so.
Alex Fender smirks and charges right at the damn lich asshole, his guitar blazing.
Jack: "I could really use some skeletons right now! That's the only thing that you can stop me from using and I could reaaaaaly use them!"
Statue: "So far you have only proven your ability to be an imbecile."
Alex Fender: "ARE YOU GONNA FAIL, OR ARE YOU GONNA FIGHT?!?!"
Metal Man (GM): You hit him good. He makes a loud metallic noise, then rolls a few times on the ground before getting back up, dented.
Jack: "You're going to eat those words! With the hottest hotsauce you ever tasted! HOT SAUCE ELE!"
Alex Fender: "...seriously?"
Metal Man (GM): He fires... hot sauce... into your eyes...
Alex Fender: "...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--"
Metal Man (GM): You're blinded and sickened by the vile, burning death in your eyes. And it also damages you a bit! OW He cackles insidiously at his new invention in horror.
Jack: "Now I want you to try and kill me with that going on in your eyes!"
Metal Man (GM): He then heals himself with inflict moderate wounds. Yeah. He's crazy. Good news is, he blasted most of his cheeze on you... leaving him a bit low on remaining cheese. Because Garrick deep-sixed his deathray. And the statue deep-sixed his skeletons. So he's reduced to melting your eyes. It's like the Black Knight, only he still is nasty.
Statue: "If you decide this is outside your challenge level... keep in mind that he is hundreds of years old."
Metal Man (GM): Yeah. That was basically his next best option, with the others being "Mob enemy with so many skeletons they can't possibly survive" and "Kill them outright with death" ...Reiterating how lucky Garrick was to survive and not be hit by any of those other ones... :p Of course, there's medical equipment all over the place being taken out of the building.
Alex Fender pauses for a minute, then says... "...so you're telling me he's a shit his pants grandpa?!"
Statue: "Technically one of the oldest you'll meet. Being a non-aging undead construct that keeps reviving from age to age. He's not very different from me. Excepting he keeps looking like a human and behaving like them."
Alex Fender: "The shittiest shit his pants grandpa there ever was!"
Statue: "In the worst way."
Jack: "Some of us would like to actually have a chance of relationships with non-inanimate objects, you know!"
Alex Fender: "THERE YOU IS! GIMME FUEL, GIMME FIRE, GIMME YABBA DABBA DO!" *He was waiting for him to talk before blasting him with his own fire spell!*
Jack: "I don't see being an endlessly still statue is entertai--... dammit!"
Metal Man (GM): You hear him talk all right. Maybe he should have read the instructions on "Taco Bell: Semi-permanent blindness and illness sauce." You can reuse a spell he used? Then yes. He just takes a flat 10 damage, because Alsa spells work weird. Oh. Ah... whoops. Forgot. It just hits him then? You shoot a beam of fire and it misses. Jack cackles.
Jack: "Score one for hot sauce!"
Alex Fender: "SHITFUCK!"
Metal Man (GM): He would then crack his knuckles and go to swing his staff at you again.
Alex Fender stumbles backwards and trips on a rock, ducking under it.
Metal Man (GM): He would drunkenly swing it, most likely missing and smashing the ground.
Jack: "Bah! Stupid moving targets! I still maintain 'Using blunt weapons' was a worthless class in Mage School!"
Alex Fender stumbles backward, cursing at his burning fucking eyes, and tries to smack him with his guitar. "This REALLY FUCKING STINGS!"
Metal Man (GM): You also miss. Contributing to the messed up guys swinging at one another theme.
Jack: "I thought of it after going to a really insane taco stand!"
Metal Man (GM): Jack stands there, tilts his head. Notices that everyone has... kinda stolen all the medical supplies while this went on.
Jack: "DAAHHHHHHH! You're just a distraction! ...And I have no skellies to kill these people with!"
Alex Fender: "I'm not just a distraction! I AM THE MOST GLORIOUS DISTRACTION EVER!"
Jack: "...And half of them are pointing guns at me! ...I have no choice... but to tell you to LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER OH MY GOD THERE IS A GIANT CHINCHILLA ABOUT TO EAT YOU!"
Metal Man (GM): Will save. You barely succeed.
Alex Fender: "HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK! YOU SAUCED MY FUCKING EYES, BRO!!!"
Metal Man (GM): Everyone else stares in confusion at the magically generated illusion while Jack runs away. You, however, can't even SEE it.
Alex Fender: "Metal! ALEX IS BLIND!"
Metal Man (GM): That is an improvement apparently as you hear people wondering what the hell is going on.
Alex Fender: "HE CAN'T SEE IT ANYWWAY!" *He gets an AoO when he runs the fuck away!* ""
Metal Man (GM): Yes. You hit him!
Jack: "OWWWWWWW! STUPID MARIACHI!"
Metal Man (GM): He runs away with a big hole in his back. Once again, Dr. Robotni--I mean Jack has fled ever so valiantly away.
Alex Fender: "...why am I not hearing GUN SHOTS AT THE COWARDLY LICH?!"
Metal Man (GM): The other people snap out of it and shoot at him. But he's already away before they can kill him.
Alex Fender: "Hey statue lady. Is he gone?"
Statue: "...I have seen enough. You may save this city. I... must question why we ever thought he was a good choice. ...He has run very far away."
Alex Fender: "Good."
Statue: "He left his ship behind... again."
Alex Fender falls to his knees, dropping his guitar, and screams. "FUCKING OOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! HOT SAUCE! TO THE EYES!! NO BUENNNNNOOOOOO!!!! SOMEBODY GET ME A MOIST TOWELETTE!"
Metal Man (GM): A soldier comes over and hands you some military grade eye-wash solution.
Alex Fender dumps that shit all over his face.
Metal Man (GM): Eventually the burning goes away. Strangely, the skin on your face is revitalized by the burning and, after the swelling goes down, actually looks a bit better. Too bad setting your face on fire is not a very appealing way to cleanse your pores.
Alex Fender: "Oh... oh jeez... oh wow... that's so much better... ...okay... angel statue golden lady hottness."
Statue: "Name your question."
Alex Fender: "Do you gets it? All we wants is for things to be peaceful and nice and for fuckwads like THAT to die a million deaths and never come back. Like him and Borne and whatnot."
Statue: "..." *She pauses.* "If you can provide plausible replacements for the Mad Men, we may revoke their connection to the source. Your test... shall be in dealing with the Silver Finisher."
Alex Fender: "...oh shit! I forgot my idea thing and now I remembered my idea! I know who that was!"
Statue: "You do? I have lived plagued with visions of things that I never understood, myself."
Alex Fender: "Yup yup. We in twouble. I mean, it really only is one person."
Statue: "That much I could surmise. But in what way, I could not."
Alex Fender: "That was the Metal Man. And the Questers. Shit just got real, female bro."
Statue: "The Questers... you mean... these?"
Metal Man (GM): She makes an image of the Alsa Questers.
Statue: "...the Mad Men reduced them to corpses and chased the rest off this planet. How could these be any different?"
Alex Fender: "Nope. Nope nope. I'm talkin' 'bout the ones from the before time. From the long long ago. The ones Gare-bear talked to me about."
Statue: "..." *The statue nods.* "These must have been the ones they spoke of but never had proof to show us. ...If the records are like the stolen data suggests, no one is safe."
Alex Fender: "This ain't good. Okay, uh. You gots to talk to Garrick. Cause, like, he knows about this. I just eat hot dogs and play rock and hit things."
Statue: "You can summon him, then. You have succeeded in ridding us of the nuisance."
Alex Fender pulls out the Transformer and hits it. A flash of bright light later and...
Garrick Fy`aar stands there for a moment. He looks around. He sees the bulldozer, the men, the supplies... and the statue... "...huh. I'm guessing we won."
Statue: "I can confirm that. This man... is coming, however."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Well, it's good that we won... which man are you talking about?"
Metal Man (GM): It shows... what Garrick would know as Metal Man. And Xavier... both of them... ... and Aribar... and Gibby... and Razor... and Yurie.
Garrick Fy`aar: "..."
Statue: "A premonition. They are coming for us... Alsa, and you."
Garrick Fy`aar stands there... and he looks scared. Honestly, truly scared.
Editor's Note: Alas, one can only talk so much s@#t at and about those old characters before they eventually come back and go, "And WHAT did you say?"
Statue: "...This fits what I saw. The vision... it showed them defeating Mad Men."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...look, I get general feelings from Alex. Not really words, but... emotions and shit. And I feel like I can trust you. Will you... CAN you come back with us? To where the people are?"
Statue: "This depends... you mean to the cave?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Yeah. We need... we need everyone in on this."
Statue: "I shall begin the call for the people of Alsa. Only then can we defeat this threat."
Garrick Fy`aar: "If Metal somehow got the original Questers from way back in the day... ...then things got really, really bad..." *He starts walking back in the direction of the cave. As he does so, he calls Sloan.*
Sloan: *C* "Yes?"
Garrick Fy`aar: *C* "Sloan. Metal is back. And he's bringing Questers from Nintendus with him. Old Questers."
Sloan: "Ah. Yes. Those Questers. The ones I watched him go to do. I'm where he is, right now."
Garrick Fy`aar suddenly stands stock still. "...where is that?!"
Sloan: "It turns out Illian made a rather big mistake."
Garrick Fy`aar: "And that is?!"
Sloan: "There's a world in which the world continues normally from Season 3--complete with screwing up and exploding. In it are those Questers Illian thought he had destroyed."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Aribar... Gibby... Yurie... my god, Razor..."
Sloan: "Naturally, those Questers follow Xavier and his past self. Now that they know what Illian tried to do, they most likely will try to kill him. And probably you. He seems to be talking up the Smash Energy angle. I'd try to stop them, but their power would kill me in seconds."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...and he's bringing Smash Energy back into the universe... wonderful... does Illian know??"
Sloan: "All I can say is I know their exact progress and will slow them down. No. You must contact him. They are watching the channels here. Not very well, but they could notice Illian. He uses a dex that is too similar. Something Xavier could trace."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Do what you can, but don't get yourself killed. I'll rally the troops here. This just got put at the top of the list."
Sloan: "Not to worry. I did the same against the Alsa Questers. I'll remain completely invisible and... do some research. This Smash Energy... I might be able to use it against them."
Garrick Fy`aar: "NO!"
Garrick Fy`aar: "Listen to me. Do not TOUCH the Smash Energy. Don't even LOOK at it."
Sloan: "I have little else that could stop them. Alsa would never help the likes of me."
Garrick Fy`aar: "If you bring Smash Energy into Alsa, it'll create another Nintendus."
Sloan: "Otherwise the only other source is Alsan energy... which it decided against aiding me."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...look, if you've got to use it, make sure you rid yourself of it before you come back to this dimension. If Smash Energy isn't generated from a natural source, it bleeds like radiation."
Sloan: "Yes, I could do that. On that note, it seemed everyone who visits here gets irradiated with it. Only my shield protected me. I saw an Alsan native light up like a Christmas tree with it. It appears to have no qualms about powering up anything in its radius."
Garrick Fy`aar: "That's what it does... stay safe, do what you can, but slow them down as much as possible."
Sloan: "That is my plan. They already visited Alsa once, but it was a test run. When they go to take the Questers out of there, I'm going to break every ship they have and try to ground them here."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'll contact Illian."
Sloan: "You do that. He is your only hope for a reliable ally in all of this... I do not trust the Alsan people to be so forthcoming."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Understood. I'll do what I can. I need to get to work now. Garrick out."
Sloan: "I need to end this here, so, Sloan out." *Click.*
Garrick Fy`aar immediately turns to some of the soldiers. "Anyone here with piloting experience, go get Jack's ship and bring it back to the cave. We need it. Go. Fast."
Soldier: "Jack's ship???" *They look to one another.* "But isn't he on that ship? If not guarding it?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "He left his ship behind, unguarded... right?" *He looks to the statue woman.* "His guards were under your command..."
Statue: "Unguarded is not the best word for it. It is still cursed in the extreme. Normal men would be reduced to gibbering corpses in moments."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Great... I'll have to look into it, then. But first..." *Sigh*...not looking forward to this..." " *He pauses for a second, breaths once or twice deeply... then contacts Illian.*
Metal Man (GM): I'm gonna pause a little bit here to heat up a veggie burger. Then continue, with Illian and his side in addition to Garrick. If Sky isn't about to pass out or something. I'm thinking anyway, this can get the game onto the main track, but I need some fuel, so brb. Ok. Lemme throw this burger together. It'll be ready in a moment. Ok, ready. You may begin your message.
Garrick Fy`aar: *C* "Illian. This is Garrick. I am alive. I am the cause for the explosion at Jack's palace yesterday. Something has happened that takes priority over everything else. Everything else. Contact me as soon as you can."
Metal Man (GM): Illian, with the others also able to join in comm if they choose, responds.
Illian MacGregor: "Hmmm. I am here. Tell me what it is. We were lost without you--I was beginning to get a bit desperate for some means to actually catch Xavier."
Garrick Fy`aar is there over the comms, probably in the main room on Illian's ship. He looks more than a bit beefer and more than better equipped, but he looks very, very freaked out.
Valron: *C* "Yeah... Bit of a mess, that, but luckily not desperate enough to actually go careening off the slope."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Xavier is coming to Alsa. ...and he's bringing the Season 3 Questers with him."
Valron: *C* "...He's what."
Azon: "Clarify, please?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "...who the fuck is that?"
Illian MacGregor: "Anonyman... a bit more advanced than he used to be. About the only returning person from the latest round of Questers. Needless to say, much more useful on our side than lost like the others are."
Azon: "Codenamed Azon now, pleased to re-meet you."
Valron: "Aye. Though we're still a bit low in terms of manpower, regardless..."
Illian MacGregor: "...Of course there is the whole doomsday scenario you just handed to me. I should respond to that."
Metal Man (GM): He would pour himself a glass of whiskey and drink the whole thing in one gulp.
Illian MacGregor: "...Damned maniac, he's going to blow everyone up, himself included."
Valron: "...Yes, I have a feeling we're going to be in for the long haul on this one."
Garrick Fy`aar: "From what I've heard... there was a dimensional bubble somewhere that you caused, Illian."
Illian MacGregor: "..." *His face pales.* "They were supposed to be gone."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Yeah, well, they aren't."
Illian MacGregor: "I thought I erased them. Red Text! How could this happen?"
Red Text: "...Hm. You know... I don't think we ever modeled that portion of it fully."
Illian MacGregor: "...Wonderful. Just wonderful."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Xavier got them back and they're apparently making to get on ships and come to Alsa. They're hopped up on Smash Energy and pointed at me."
Illian MacGregor: "This is what I get for relying on Borne and Alsa Questers to ensure those people were erased."
Valron: "Why would you even rely on those idiots in the first place."
Illian MacGregor: "Shoddy work. I shouldn't have remained so hidden and mysterious. I should have... ...no. Too late for me to fix that. I must deal with what is there now. They were the only people around, and you were with them, at least for a time."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Sloan is currently in their universe and trying to slow them down, but I don't know how long we have."
Illian MacGregor: "I can throw the entire Solarian Armada at them to slow them down."
Valron: "Yes, but only out of necessity."
Illian MacGregor: "Red Text can hack everything they have. I can get Ael to send the Time Cop armada after them. SIMBER can momentarily distract them while going back to being useless. I don't even know why we bothered activating that copy of him we found on one of the past versions of Nintendus."
SIMBER: "Don't sell me so short. Xavier is the very person I wanted to kill."
Valron: "Because he was stuck in a Transformer when we found him?"
Illian MacGregor: "And you're going to kill your other version and defeat him how, SIMBER?"
SIMBER: "...I didn't think about that..."
Illian MacGregor: "This will have to be done as a Kuja-class threat. All resources must be united and fired at them until they are all charred hunks of meat."
Valron: "Somehow I think they'd be still going even as charred husks."
Illian MacGregor: "And then the meat must be transported into some sort of unstoppable black hole to make sure it doesn't come back."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I've got some more people here who will help us as well."
Illian MacGregor: "And then the entire black hole warped into a time anomaly. Because these people WON'T STAY DEAD."
Valron: "Then what will happen to the anomaly?"
Illian MacGregor: "I tried erasing them. This happened. Well, it needs to be like the one at the center of the universe. That one held Yurie in it forever. Nobody ever rescued her, or if they did it was too little, too late."
Valron: "...Right, I forgot that people could get hurled into the center of the universe."
Illian MacGregor: "We have to send all the Questers there. If I can figure out how The Void did it we can just remove all of them from our part of the universe. It'll take them over 100 years to get back, and by then we'll have a more neat and easy solution. They will come back, but they'll have to spend so much time they may even forget who we are. Or we might just hide where we are from the outside universe."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Look, here's the long and the short of it. Sloan and Anthon are willing to work with us to get things settled to some extent. Jack is still and issue, but he's been dealt with. I blew him up and the source of his power now thinks he's a tool and most of his magic is gone. I can't speak for Borne, though. He's still a problem and will probably use this to his advantage."
Illian MacGregor: "That's welcome news. We need... we need Borne on our side. We could destroy him. But we would both be too weak to fight these Questers. Borne is the only person who decisively defeated the Questers after they thought they had killed him."
Garrick Fy`aar: "No. Bullshit. Borne wants to turn Alsa into his own dictatorship. We kill him and you let me get to his tech. I'll get it running."
Illian MacGregor: "We can destroy him after there are no Questers to fight."
Valron: "Pfff. Honestly, I don't care if he dies during all this."
Illian MacGregor: "He has entrenched himself too deeply... if we spend our time fighting him the Questers can pick us both off."
Garrick Fy`aar growls and kicks a nearby piece of rubble. It tumbles a bit.
Illian MacGregor: "He would make sure we both died due to the Questers, too. It is his way. Or what if he allied with them? Borne. He could fool them into giving him Smash Power."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...fuck. Fine."
Illian MacGregor: "Borne with Smash Power. Everyone is screwed."
Valron: "...Last thing we need, yeah."
Illian MacGregor: "He probably would kill them all like Evil Wolfman on crack in that scenario. Then us and most of the known universe that doesn't want to be his dictatorship thralls. We must make him think he can kill them as-is. They can try to kill him. We can kill the Questers with a flanking maneuver. The weakened Borne will then be easy to push on his face."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Alright, fine. If that's what we need to do, then that's what we'll do."
Illian MacGregor: "They come for Alsa, if what you say is right, for you. We can control them! You... you can hang out in Borne's territory and lure them right there."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...then that's where I'm going."
Illian MacGregor: "Imagine, all the Questers blowing up Borne's headquarters."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I wanted a little talk with the fucker anyway."
Illian MacGregor: "He wouldn't stand a chance. Panzer alone defeated him once. Now you have at least five Panzers and none of them listen to reason that I recall. He shall be our fall guy, we need not attack him. Just let him and the Questers kill one another. The weakened Questers will then fall to a flanking maneuver by the Solarian armada, Time Cops and Red Text and... *Sigh*... SIMBER throwing digitized shoes at them."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'll head for Borne, then. Fill him in. What about you and your people?"
Illian MacGregor: "We were on an unrelated set of errands to do with the state of things before this happened. We had plans to send Ael and Red Text to kill Xavier first. Naturally our plans have changed. We shall probably work on a counterattack, invading their ship when their backs are turned. I will help spearhead the attack. I am no pushover."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Have your people look into Alsan Energy."
Illian MacGregor: "They are nothing more than more Kujan Commanders to me. Hm? ...Yes. I shall, then."
Azon: "Five Panzers...? Would that be a type of doomsday mech?"
Illian MacGregor: "Maybe it can be integrated with Magitek. ...Yes. Yes that would be."
Garrick Fy`aar: "If you can get that running, let me know."
Illian MacGregor: "It will be my foremost goal. We already had ideas for using Fate magic... Alsan Energy is much safer sounding."
Valron: "Also, Illian. How applicable would the anti-reality warp bubbles be against Quester shenanigans?"
Garrick Fy`aar: "It's beefed me up pretty far. Sloan said I was on par with my Void killing level, but I don't think I'm there, personally. Alright, do what you can to prepare and counterattack. I'll head to Borne's place and fill him in on the details and convince him to point his cannons at the Questers."
Valron: "Alright, then. I wish you the best of luck with that."
Illian MacGregor: "The problem, Valron, is the Questers are also anti-reality. It's like putting out fire by setting it on fire. The bubble would block the effects... they would simply warp out from it anyway."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I'm off. Garrick out."
Illian MacGregor: "Until next time, Garrick. The bubbles would protect us, however."
Valron: "Aye, until next time."
Garrick Fy`aar signs off. He breathes deep and turns to the soldiers. "Looks like I need to part from you guys."
Illian MacGregor: "We cannot block the Questers from attacking, but we can prevent them from warping our reality."
Valron: "Any chance of making smaller versions of the devices?"
Metal Man (GM): The soldiers would nod. Jonathan Dark would go to shake Garrick's hand.
Garrick Fy`aar grips his hand good and firm, shaking it.
Jonathan Dark: "It's been a pleasure working with you... good luck on your next mission."
Garrick Fy`aar: "I might be calling on you guys soon enough... with Xavier and the Questers en route... well, things are about to get worse." *He turns to the angel.* "And what about you? We'll need you and yours to help with this, as well. I'd personally like a little backup, but I doubt Borne is going to let me waltz in with someone like you next to me. I'm probably going to have to make like dad and sneak inside."
Statue: "I will remain available on this continent. Unfortunately, you will need to win the favor of the statue on Borne's continent to get his favor. He is... less forgiving."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Anything you can do to give me an edge?"
Statue: "Show me your weapon."
Garrick Fy`aar draws put his pistol, the .45 he got from Sloan and spins it around to hand it to her handle first.
Metal Man (GM): She holds a hand. It gains an emblem in the handle that is a sort of iconography of herself, blessing the weapon with a +1 enchantment of your choice.
Garrick Fy`aar: "Huh. Nice. Alright, thanks. I'll show this to the statue. Maybe that'll gain me a bit of favor."
Statue: "In time, I shall revive the old library here and the workshops required to forge the weapons you will need to slay the Silver Finisher. That mark should help you, yes."
Garrick Fy`aar: "Alright. It's a ways to Borne's territory... guess I'm going to take Jack's ship anyway." *He will head in that direction, his mind whirling with what is to come.*
Metal Man (GM): The Statue would watch you walk, and... this is a good place for both of us to pause. I'm a bit worn myself. Feels like the start of some cold or something.
Metal Man (GM): +200 to Garrick, Valron and Azon, +700 to Alex.
Metal Man (GM): It's OK. I spent so much time staring at them I know pretty well what Ari's state is. Last time, from his reckoning, he spent most of his time fighting with the Sword of Darkness, which made him into an evil conqueror until it was taken from him for being "Fake" and he was given the sword of light instead by Ivan Robotnik. He also fought and eventually overcame Doopliss after Doopliss stole his identity. Though Doopliss is still on the run.
King Demon: *nanananananananananananananana DOOPLISS!*
Aribar is now known as Aribar.
Metal Man (GM): His last memories are of fighting The Void, The Void being defeated, Smithy's satellites and stuff all exploding and then him blacking out. He'd be waking up at HQ with no idea of anything other than The Void seemingly was destroyed, SIMBER seemingly died, and Tridus was a possessed tool all along. So, we'll get that show on the road, then move to next things. An Aribar to the Future. We continue at Season 3 Quester HQ. Xavier is at the HQ, in the med bay. Demon would be there. Aribar, the Season 3 one anyway, would suddenly wake up and see... well it looks a lot like Demon and Metal Man... only they look different. Off.
King Demon: *Looking around the medbay.*
Metal Man (GM): Most importantly, it's the same old medbay, but Metal Man has a glowing clock in his wrist and looks... older.
King Demon: *Silently wonders if this is Dr. Mario's medbay.*
Aribar groans, shifting himself upright in the bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looks about and mumbles a greeting. "Uhh, hi guys. Just how long did the Void knock us out for?"
King Demon: "Hmm?" *Looks at Ari, lost in thought for a minute... or searching his memories, at any rate.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Not for long."
Aribar: "Some reason looks like you aged a million years." *He stretches his left arm and legs before hopping out of the bed.*
King Demon: "He mighta..." *Shrugs.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Heh heh heh. A long story about that... I AM from the future. And I've come for your help. An evil entity threatens the Stadium, and it is not The Void anymore. A Quester has gone rogue. He has come to hate the Stadium and everyone who ever served it. And he has used that power to destroy it, in a dark future that I come from."
Aribar: "Wha... But... That's impossible! I mean, we beat the big, bad--oh, um. Another bad Quester."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. You did beat the villains. All of them, in fact. It was a Quester in the end who destroyed the Stadium."
Aribar: "Was it because of the Sword of Darkness?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You could say that."
King Demon sits there and listens.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The Sword of Darkness in time became Evil Wolfman. This Quester reacted. He decided that if evil could corrupt people, that he should destroy people's ability to make choices. So he did. He destroyed anyone's ability to be a Quester anymore. Or to be a hero, period."
King Demon nods, remembering that fight, cringing slightly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He and a group from another dimension destroyed the power to make anyone super. Now, only people who had such power normally, on other, non-Nintendus planets, can be super in any way. And those people are not nice people. Not at all."
Aribar looks shocked. "That's impossible..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We are... we are the last two Questers left. He has killed or alienated the rest, Aribar. If we do not have help, we will die and there will be no more true Questers left in existence. He nearly killed me once already. Many of the remaining Questers died to give me the chance to talk to you today."
King Demon coughs slightly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...And Demon, yes."
Aribar: "No one else is left?!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "They have either been killed, or turned to the side of an emotionless robot version of myself, who has publicly noted he will kill any remaining Questers and has enslaved his warped Questers using evil Void-based technology. There is no one left to the Quester name but me and Demon, and a new person. And last time I was in my home timeline... I was chased the entire way by attacking forces. I only barely made it out alive. I've come back to the past so that we can go to the future and defeat this great evil, and ensure that this place is not destroyed. We must work together to kill this evil threat and save the multiverse one last time. Once it is over, the world shall be safe. No villain defeats you in your timeline."
Aribar continues bouncing between muttering and exclaiming. "This... This is terrible. We need to do something! I mean, I did some, um, bad things, but nothing like this!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Only a Quester would be capable of such treachery, and it is only one Quester who poses a serious threat. It may come to a shock to you, but it is Garrick Fy'aar who eventually turns to this side of darkness. Charles, as you properly suspected, did turn evil as well, but we killed him in the future for that. He is not a problem. He was too crazy to actually do anything. Garrick, on the other hand, came to believe all of us were Charleses."
King Demon: "Yeah, I really didn't care for his antics last time we met..."
Aribar: "He must be mind controlled. He couldn't have... Surely we can convince him?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I tried that. He blew me up with a shell the size of a house. The Questers before me tried it. He went insane and fled, then plotted their downfall. I am open to merely... imprisoning or disabling him... but he threatens us as Kuja did before Kuja was trapped in a transformer. Indeed. I would suggest we imprison him in a transformer the same way."
King Demon: "Personally, I'd rather shove a fireball up his... Nevermind."
Aribar winces at the memory of Kuja. "Maybe... That'll help. It does kinda seem like knocking or burning some sense into him is the only answer."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Maybe if he is forced to think on the issue, his so-called genius can realize that people make choices, not Smash Power. Anyway. Will you help us? I have engineered it so that you can help me, then return to your normal business here in this timeline. Perhaps years later you will then remember and wish to visit me again, realizing what I have done to save us all. But for now, that is the best way to do it."
Aribar: "Let's... Not talk about time traveling in the future to see you. Kind of gives me a headache and puts me in a lot of messes. But yeah! I've... Kind of got to redeem myself for what I've done."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We must send a strong message--Smash Power, the Stadium, the Questers, are not evil. Only individuals."
Aribar: "And even then they can be redeemed!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I am aware of your past corruption. You are not alone. And like you, I must redeem myself for a period of insanity I did. We shall redeem ourselves together. Demon... shall remain Demon. But that's fine too."
King Demon: *Deadpan* "Gee, thanks."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, that's how you want to be, right?"
King Demon: *Shrugs* "Least I haven't irreversibly broken the timeline... yet."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I feel free choice should remain an option for everyone. Anyway. I'm still awakening the others, so... you might not be needed just yet, Aribar, unless you wish to accompany us on a little mission we have planned. Charles... is not a good person, and unlikely to help us if we were to wake him, as he is projected to leave this realm anyway. He leaves his giant floating fortress to you, Aribar. ...Which shall become our floating fortress. ...The Valhalla will be the perfect thing to use against Garrick. It has enough laser firepower to explode an entire planet."
Aribar shrugs, seeming a little happier that they're onto a different subject. And then subsequently weirded out at that thought. "Well, guess we can try to teach him a lesson!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "And there is an evil planet that Garrick is liable to be on..."
King Demon: "PLEASE tell me we aren't going to Alsa again..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Going to it? Maybe. But I mean this, Demon." *He plays a disc.*
Metal Man (GM): It shows Locos powering up the Valhalla. And it nearly exploding all of Nintendus with the raw energy. It's like a gigantic deathray, with an insane array of energy collectors, deflectors, etc.
Aribar: "Locos just LEAVES me that?!"
King Demon: "Oh, yeah, that... didn't we blow that to fuck?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. I stole his DVD so that you could see it. No, Demon, that would either be the future or an alternate timeline. I believe it was Kuja that blew it up... ...my head hurts."
King Demon: "Oh, right, he did... then what'd we blow up?"
Aribar kind of just gawks at Demon, not believing he just swore and Wolfman or Mewtwo aren't barging in.
King Demon: *Looks at Ari* "... What?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Anyway..." *Plays a DVD.*
Charles Magellean: "But before I leave, I have a few things to say. First, I hereby resign as leader of the Magellean Military."
Aribar just stutters. "That--You... Um... Nothi--heydvdlet'swatchthat."
King Demon: *Shrugs.*
Charles Magellean: "Valhalla Fortress will remain in the Realm of the Heavens to symbolize what was little of my happiness. Yet... the military, with its contracts and red tape, cannot be simply disbanded. As leader until this announcement is over, I am required to appoint my successor, and second-in-command. I put in charge of my glorious empire... Yurie Ginsei d'Rakateur of the planet Saga. I also hereby give the status of second-in-command to the Jentanian Wizard: Aribar Hunter of Whaller."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Pauses it* "Now, naturally Yurie will go along with my plans, because the trick is that Yurie vanishes forever in about a season or two from now."
King Demon: "... Yurie..." *Yeah he doesn't sound extremely happy about that one.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Only I can actually ensure Yurie is not sent to the center of the universe by The Void. So this fortress is ours. Even then, it doesn't go anywhere for an entire year. Normally, all of you are out cold for an entire year due to what The Void did to you. I've revived you early to take advantage of that. So. You can come with us if you want, or rest here. The others have agreed, they will allow me to take it, for the good of Nintendus."
Aribar: "I, um, think I should go and find my gear and train in the holoroom a bit. Still a little sore and tired from fighting the Void and everything..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sounds good to me. Once you are ready, you can join us on my--your---our massive battlestation."
King Demon: "I call shotgun!"
Aribar waves goodbye to them and runs out to go get stuff from his room and train.
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Waves* "Now, Demon, it's time for our mission."
King Demon: "Sweet... which particular mission?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We must secure Valhalla from the one known as Ricky."
King Demon: "Ricky... Ricky... the turtle?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "See. Ricky did not go into a coma from The Void. He also doesn't know of the DVD I have here."
Metal Man (GM): 7/17/2004. Yup, that's a sheet Lemme post it I have a ton of them in fact I have even more versions, but those are for later seasons. I'll note them when I have time, heh.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So, we need to stop Ricky. Think you can melt a single Koopa, Demon?"
King Demon: "Sure... can I use his shell for a helmet?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sure. Let's get in the limo and get to work then." *Cracks his metal knuckles and walks to the freshly repaired limo.*
King Demon: *Cracks his knuckles, a little flame popping from them* "All right, let's go!" *Gets in as well.*
Metal Man (GM): You get in, and the car starts. It lifts off... and soon you see a massive flying pyramid, floating in the clouds, by a castle.
King Demon: "Ah, Luxor, in space! Either that or Apophis... or Anubis... is here."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Charles was as nutty as any Goa'uld was, that was for sure."
Metal Man (GM): A comms message pops up.
Ricky Koopa: "Unidentified vehicle. Identify yourself. This is the Magellean Military. We do not tolerate trespassers while our master is away."
King Demon: "..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hidey ho there, Turtleino."
King Demon: "Great, I'm riding with Wilson..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We're here to take this place for a greater cause. You will probably get mad and try to kill us. Then, we will push buttons, and you will explode. And then, the Questers will come and ride your ship to save the universe."
Ricky Koopa: *Sputters* "What nonsense are you talking about? The Void is dead! We are not your enemy!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I dunno. You tolerate us not."
Ricky Koopa: "But you're Metal Man... Locos made it clear you are to be allowed as a neutral party."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I guess my memory sucks. Let's go, then."
King Demon: "Indeed. Then again, you're probably thinking of another timeline, too."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Turns off comms* "All right. Here's the plan. We land, then we move in on the command center and take it. He's perfectly stupid and unsuspecting. And probably also a butler."
King Demon: "Cool... I forget, red or green?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I forget too."
King Demon: "Guess I should be careful about kicking him then."
Metal Man (GM): The limo lands. Some Machine mades offer to Chauffeur it, but Xavier shrugs them off. He opens the door, idly bonking one in the face. Ricky walks in. He's all of about 3 feet tall, so he's staring up to see you and Xavier.
Ricky Koopa: "...Goodness. I didn't expect the Questers to visit so early. And I have no clue where Charles went!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Uhhh... Charles wanted us to look through his things. He's... moving somewhere... yes."
King Demon looks at the Koopa and shrugs.
Ricky Koopa: "He was recording something... and he had me get some weight loss bars. Said it was for a special someone."
King Demon: "Those were probably for me... I've been putting on a bit lately..."
Ricky Koopa: "Well, I guess I'll show you to his office."
Metal Man (GM): He would then go to lead you there. Through the halls, where pictures of Charles adorn all over the place.
Ricky Koopa: "It's really odd,. He used to really like this place. Then he left and hasn't been back since. We did everything he told us to, even when it nearly destroyed the world..."
King Demon: "Hmmm..." *Shrugs and looks at some of the pictures.*
Ricky Koopa: "It's just kind of odd to not have anything to do anymore."
Metal Man (GM): You see Locos. It starts from the early days of Locos being weird and gets weirder as it goes down. An image of him "Leading" the Questers is also seen.
King Demon: "... I don't remember that one." *Shrugs.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He was getting beetles for one mission. It was so bad he lost his leading position mid-mission."
Ricky Koopa: "Hm. I never did ask him what that was about."
King Demon: "The Beetles? So he traveled back to the 60s?" *Shudders* "Glad I missed THAT one!"
Metal Man (GM): You reach his room. The door opens, revealing a large round room with monitors everywhere. And Coca Cola cans. Also everywhere. And his infamous mech-chair.
King Demon: "Ah, Coke!" *Heads in to get a drink.*
Ricky Koopa: "What? No! Don't drink those!"
Metal Man (GM): You find one sitting right out there, unused.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's not doing him any good right now, now is it?"
Ricky Koopa: "Didn't you say you were here for something he wanted?"
Metal Man (GM): The door would shut behind, leaving all three of you alone in the room.
King Demon: "Yeah... forgot what it was though..." *Checks to see if any are cherry.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes and no." *Points his gun at Ricky's face* "This is our Valhalla now. It's given to us by Charles."
Metal Man (GM): There's only regular. Charles never liked variety.
Ricky Koopa: "!?"
King Demon: "... You gotta be kidding me, no Cherry? Ugh, regular tastes like crap!" *Sits down in Locos' seat.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's a long story, and the question is whether it ends with turtle soup or you taking my polite offer to go away."
Ricky Koopa: "But... why? I'm just a butler!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Don't be silly. You take this over once Charles fully loses his marbles. You would be a lasting threat if I let you escape and live."
King Demon starts looking around for the control system.
Ricky Koopa: "I only had a few ideas... what are you saying?"
Metal Man (GM): Demon: You find them. Many, MANY of them. Controls for the ship. Security segments. They're all just unlocked here. Charles left it all open like a silly person.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You aren't much of a threat now, Ricky, but you will be. I don't like that."
King Demon: "Hmmm..." *Starts messing with the controls.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship begins shaking oddly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Be careful with those, Demon. We need the ship for our mission."
King Demon: "... Wrong button?" *Hits it again.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship suddenly shakes again, wildly.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...And by that I meant, stop hitting buttons without any idea of what they do."
King Demon: "Right... where's the 'Stop shaking like a maraca button?'"
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Takes out his dex* "Row 4, column 6."
King Demon: *Hits it* "... Can I borrow that?"
Metal Man (GM): You see a button named "STOP SHAKING ERRATICALLY FOR NO REASON" at that position.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No, but you can have a new one."
Metal Man (GM): He hands you a Smash Dex. Ricky, meanwhile, runs out the door.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Consult the manual and stop Ricky. This should be a test of your abilities."
King Demon: "Long as it has a damn user's manual... by the way, my helmet just left." *Takes the dex He reads the manual, then starts hitting buttons to try to trap Ricky... and maybe laser him a bit.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah. I knew he would. I figured it's more sporting this way."
Metal Man (GM): We'll break that action up, as you need to know what to hit. So you read, and you see several options. You can lock Ricky in, you can activate a Coca Cola flooding device, or release an army of Machine Mades on him... which do you do?
King Demon: "... Ooooh, I haven't seen a good dose of overkill in a while..." *Releases the Machine Mades.*
Metal Man (GM): You release them. The Machine Mades attack Ricky, but Ricky uses some sort of control of his own to disable them.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm. He probably had knowledge of how they work. Well, let's see how round 2 goes."
Metal Man (GM): Ricky reaches a 3-way hallway.
King Demon: "Yeah..." *Tries to lock Ricky up, or at least force him to go a specific direction.*
Metal Man (GM): You can lock all the doors, cause a massive chandelier in it to fall at him, or try to open trapdoors on him.
King Demon: "Hmmm..." *Checks for a second, then opens the trapdoors.*
Metal Man (GM): He falls down a floor, into the trapdoor pit. He starts trying to climb out.
King Demon tries to close the door on him.
Metal Man (GM): Xavier idly takes out a can of Metal Cola and drinks it. You manage to trap him in there, but he's starting to break the door.
King Demon: "... okay, that's a strong Koopa..." *Drops the chandelier.*
Metal Man (GM): The Chandelier crashes down. Ingenious, as he would never expect that. He's KO'd under that mess.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Good work, Demon. You may have earned your helmet yet. Now we have another problem."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier points to the screens.
King Demon: "Well, not THAT strong... huh?" *Looks at the screens.*
Metal Man (GM): Apparently some of the aligned factions of Charles' are trying to land in the hangar to try and assist Valhalla.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We need to get rid of them. You're at the controls, consult your manual."
King Demon: "Ok, that could be a problem..." *Looks at the manual, trying to figure out how to use the ship's weaponry.*
Metal Man (GM): You discover many weapons. You have a giant deathray that takes about 4 hours to power up and can destroy planets... You see a ton of smaller laser weapons too, and also... Force fields of an insane power level that absorb and destroy whatever touches them. Those are the weapons. Basic, but probably useful. You can also move the ship around. It's really huge. Like. It could probably ram and destroy Star Destroyers.
King Demon: *Activates the force fields just for the lulz* "Suicide is always fun!" *He looks to see how maneuverable it is, he might go bowling.*
Metal Man (GM): Some ships smash into the side of it and explode. The rest try to flee.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes... yes. Yes! Hahahahahaaaa. This ship will be PERFECT..."
King Demon: "Oh, no you don't!" *Takes off after them, trying to ram them as well.*
Metal Man (GM): The ship speeds up, slamming into all but a few of them. It's a massacre. The ship is an ungodly... THING. Charles could have taken over Nintendus with it, had he not decided at the last minute to leave it instead.
King Demon: "Aww, I missed a few..." *Uses the minor weapons on those he missed.*
Metal Man (GM): They fall down and burn. The ship shows 100% success.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Very well. I believe you've earned your shell helmet."
King Demon: "Cool! I picked up the spare, too!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It was a bit easier than I expected, but how could I expect resistance from a shelled butler? Or Charles' stupid factions."
King Demon: "Eh... they're like gou'ald... they're only dangerous in overwhelmingly massive numbers."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "True."
Metal Man (GM): You see something warp in ..It's a ghost ..Not just any ghost!
King Demon: "Eh?"
Doopliss: "Hey. What do I see here but a bunch of Schmucks taking out my former employer's ship, eh?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh. Right. We inherited his enemies, didn't we?"
King Demon: "We did?" *Looks at Doopliss* "Nice sheet."
Doopliss: "In a matter of speakin'. You would do best with not using that thing. We paid good money to ensure it isn't used."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Narrows eyes* "We can take you and your goons."
Doopliss: "I heard you didn't do so well against a single Quester. How am I to believe you?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I dunno. Feel like burning things, Demon?"
King Demon: "Do trees have leaves?" *He gets ready to roast a ghost.*
Doopliss: "Well, it's your lives, Slicks."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out his staff, and... HALLOWEEN BATTLE! Xavier takes out his gun... and... hmmm. Do you have a sheet Demon? Does anyone in this battle even have a sheet? Do I even bother with system stuff anymore?
Editor's Note: Hahahaha, nice self-roast, past me.
Metal Man (GM): Well, that's actually a bonus, because I'm not so keen on the system as it stood anyway. It's time for something insane! METAL'S COMPLETELY INSANE FREEFORM STUFF. First, Turn order... Demon, Doopliss, Xavier Here's the rules. You do one attack per turn. You also get to react to any attack you have have had sent at you on your turn. Of course first round means you have nothing to react to. This being freeform, you can do literally anything you would do out of battle too, outside of outright cheating, godmodding or summoning objects/things that don't realistically belong to you/aren't doable according to your character's broad backstory. Otherwise, do what you wish. Yes. Damage will be handled a bit more informally. No HP per se, rather I'll go a bit more literary-ish on this.
King Demon: "It's been far too long since I've roasted undead!" *Launches both his fireballs at the ghost.*
Metal Man (GM): Like. If you literally burn him, he's literally burned, and so forth. Ok. Under this freeform setup, you shall discover his reaction... on his turn, which is now. Doopliss' turn. Doopliss leaps aside, one fireball nicking him. He then slaps his staff on the ground and turns into a clone of Demon appearance wise.
Doopliss: "It's best that I fight fire with fire, Slick."
Metal Man (GM): That consumes his turn.
King Demon: "Oooh, gonna be a hot one tonight!"
Xavier Ridgecrest slaps his gun to eject an old cartridge, then opens fire on Doopliss with a bunch of shots.
King Demon draws his sword to slash at... himself!?
Metal Man (GM): Doopliss' turn. Doopliss is Flanked. He tries to dodge the bullets first, and succeeds, but you then stab him in the back. He doesn't bleed, but it definitely hurt. He decides to react by trying to burn you point blank in the face with two beams of fire from his hands. Xavier holsters his gun, then charges up his Time Device and fires red laser beams at Doopliss. TSEER, TSEER!
King Demon attempts to sidestep the fire, before countering with fire of his own.
Metal Man (GM): You step aside, getting singed a bit. However, since you are a demon, it isn't terribly damaging to you. Doopliss' turn. Of course it isn't so damaging to Doopliss either. However Doopliss turns around to get lasered in the face, knocking him aside a bit. Well, it looks like your clone just got a faceburn of sorts. With a laser.
Doopliss: "...Now I know why that isn't a good thing to do." *He shakes his head and decides to make it rain exploding fireballs. Something you're sure you can't do. But he can do it, somehow.*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier can't really dodge and it's got nowhere to hide, so he gets dented a bunch. However he retaliates by getting in Doopliss' face and ruthlessly punching at his face.
King Demon: *Probably gets nailed a bit himself, but goes to slash and/or stab Doopliss again.*
Metal Man (GM): Pretty much as you said. You've taken some damage, say maybe 25% of your health in total, but not a ton. Doopliss' turn. Doopliss falls to the ground, battered and beaten up. He's nowhere near death either, but this obviously isn't going anywhere for him.
Doopliss: "Hmph. I should have brought my friends. I'd bring them, but then I'd look like a fool. I'll be back for you two, you can bet on it."
King Demon: "You don't need friends to do that..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bring 'em, I'll have more friends to back me up too."
Doopliss: "..." *He frowns.* "You're annoying! Annoying! I'll get you eventually!"
Metal Man (GM): He opens a door and runs away. Xavier brushes some meteorite fragments off of his shoulder.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That was simple enough. I don't think he expected us to double team him so effectively."
King Demon: "... Now where were we before we were interrupted?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, we were going to take the ship and ready it for our purposes. We should move it to a safe place--outside of this realm, where its so-called 'allies' won't find it. Otherwise, they will probably keep trying to take it back for dear old Locos. Because it's a year from now that he actually leaves. You have the manual, anyway, so we can go and take it out. Once we have that, we awaken the others and get ready to invade Alsa."
King Demon: "Good idea... any suggestions to where?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Out there." *Xavier points to what is outer space, but far out there enough to be near the Wing Fortress.* "I'll reprogram the shields to only respond to us."
King Demon: "Hmmm, all right!" *Takes the ship out that direction.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You just press the buttons to take it out there."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier reprograms the ship. In a bit, you're out there and everything is ready. Some Machine Mades even clean up the mess for you.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There. Now we're good. Time to go back to Nintendus and rally the others. Oh, and I had the Machine Mades imprison Ricky. We need to make sure he's dead. I'm thinking we hurl him into Death Mountain and collect his bones."
King Demon: "Sure... long as I get his shell!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sure thing, buddy."
Metal Man (GM): He'd then smirk as the camera would pan out of the Valhalla... Pausing it there.
Metal Man (GM): Perplexity. Illian stands there, staring into space. The look on his face is that of absolute exasperation. He's been staring even more than before. The ship has fallen silent, the optimism and superiority gone. It's been floating out there, listlessly. Valron would see him in the bridge now, holding images of his old Quester group. Shaking his hand in anger and staring at the outside angry enough that his cybernetic eye turns blood red.
Valron: *He stares at Illian for a second, before carefully approaching him.* "...Sir. May I ask what's on your mind?"
Illian MacGregor: "Why... why did this have to happen. Everything I did has been trampled! I saved Nintendus twice over, and this maniac just undid it all in one little jaunt! I made a new team, and then they all left! Then people joined HIS SIDE..."
Valron: "...Truly dire straits, yes."
Illian MacGregor: *Sets down the image* "I still have everything I earned on my own. Everything you have done. And if I get lucky, maybe those other people will show up. But I can no longer pretend that I have some great plan. This is no Kuja, but rather my worst nightmare--a man with no set base, no predictable plan, and Questers... Questers infinitely more powerful than my own troops. He may even have Ivan Robotnik on HIS side... meaning even my Ivantek derived equipment could fall to him."
Valron: "...Like I said. Dire, dire straits."
Illian MacGregor: "Things must change. My old plans are now null. I am no leader of a group. It's you and me, and maybe the rare other person. We must work as a team, or a duo. It's just down to us now. We live, or we die, based on what we do. No one else is going to help us. The people who came and said they would were liars."
Valron: "...Indeed, as unfortunate as it is to say."
Illian MacGregor: "That mischievous monster has more charisma than me. So they still flock to him. He still has Questers. Not any Questers, but ones even I never had. We must exploit the fact that they are Questers. We must spin a web of deceit they will flounder and die in. An Alsan plan!"
Valron: "Even if he does have that charm, there has to be a way to-... Of course."
Illian MacGregor: "They must be led to believe they are the heroes. They must succeed. And then they must DIE. Come with me. We have work to do on Alsa. Garrick is going to distract the only person who could really get in my way."
Metal Man (GM): He'd walk off abruptly. No big briefing. No real explanation. He'd just walk to the warp room and start activating it.
Illian MacGregor: "This mothe@#$%ing mess is going to end! We will see to it, even if nobody else wants to help us."
Valron: *he doesn't even question it and calmly follows behind, albeit slightly worried... even if he doesn't show it.*
Illian MacGregor: "I wasn't going to use this, but I have no choice. The only things that still remain for us to use are the things I used to make Alsa."
Metal Man (GM): He opens a really weird looking warp.
Illian MacGregor: "Follow me, and we shall right the wrongs. And then teach people you don't need a @#$%ing TEAM to do what one or two people can do." *He lurches into the portal.*
Valron: "...What exactly are you planning?"
Metal Man (GM): You can follow him, or make your own plans... your choice.
Valron: .oO(...Whatever it is, I hope it doesn't turn you into the monster you despise so much) *He takes a deep breath, before making his way into the portal.*
Metal Man (GM): You walk in, and see... a room deep inside of Alsa.
Valron: "...Alright, so. What is this place, exactly?"
Metal Man (GM): The room is like Kuja's study. It's full of books. At the center of it is an outline of a book, hooked up to magitek computers. And a pen, but one made out of magitek.
Illian MacGregor: "This is the room I made. I used it to create Alsa."
Illian MacGregor: "When my crazy half chased off Kuja and let the Book Control him, I jumped into the gap and created a world. Had I not, he and the Questers would have leaped into a giant void and died. That's why there were all those rumors about seeing me from the people who were here at the start."
Valron: "Hmm. Well, then. ...Makes me wonder if letting them die wouldn't have been the wiser thing to do in the first place. Regardless."
Illian MacGregor: "Well."
Metal Man (GM): He sort of sounds despairing.
Illian MacGregor: "I wanted to make them better people. Made this place to help them."
Valron: "...A noble goal."
Illian MacGregor: "And kill off the bad ones."
Valron: "But, I'm sure as you know. The whole 'road to hell' saying and whatnot..."
Illian MacGregor: "Instead..." *He sighs* "It basically led them all to leave the world. Then it encouraged a few bad apples to do whatever they wanted. And now it's boomeranged back to threaten to kill me, my creation, and everything sane."
Metal Man (GM): He would then activate the computer.
Illian MacGregor: "Alsa is its own entity. I cannot control it directly like I would want to. To use it as a giant planetary death station. But I can use my powers to ask it for help."
Valron: *He thinks for a moment, before almost going to pat Illian on the shoulder, but... he doesn't. Not really the time for it.* "Interesting... So, what did you have in mind, exactly?"
Illian MacGregor: "I didn't want to do that, because I had too much pride. To ask my own creation for help..." *He shook his head.* "Unthinkable..."
Illian MacGregor: "My plan is... is..."
Metal Man (GM): He trails off.
Illian MacGregor: "I... I just need some way to challenge the Questers."
Valron: "...So, something to start off with along those lines."
Illian MacGregor: "Let me see."
Metal Man (GM): He types into the machine. The globe of Alsa, the same one Garrick saw, appears!
Alsa: "Hmph. You took long enough to talk to me."
Valron: "Ah, hello there."
Alsa: "In the time you were left, my control points were broken. My globe hijacked by people who were supposed to be subservient."
Valron: "Sounds like quite the mess."
Alsa: "Garrick does not understand what I am and wants to end the cycle you programmed."
Illian MacGregor: "...F@#$. That's just another problem."
Valron: "...In any case, where do we start?"
Alsa: "That is based on what you have to ask."
Illian MacGregor: "I need... to fight the Questers."
Alsa: "You need MY help? ...Well, anything in a storm. The cycle must continue. You cannot demand help, but I see in your minds that we are all doomed if we do not work together. As you may know, Dragoshi, the Mad Men are actually my agents. They work for my interests. Robotnik was seeded here as a basic enemy, to help give them motivation. The past before that was artificially written to help give the world meaning."
Valron: "...Does no one get the memo about how I dropped that name? Regardless... Hm."
Also: "My apologies, I last noticed you when you were Dragoshi."
Valron: "It's alright. My pet peeves are of no importance for the moment."
Alsa: "I cannot recall the Mad Men. They do not listen to me as they stand. Your indirect nonsense with Garrick is ticking them off."
Illian MacGregor: "Dammit dammit dammit! I need those people on my side!"
Alsa: "Jack has begun to become aware of me and break my hold on him. If he does so there will be no turning back."
Illian MacGregor: "What can you do? Anything?"
Alsa: "It is tricky. You have sent Garrick to deal with Borne, but I am not entirely certain he is the man for the job. He wants Borne dead. You want Borne on your side. Borne wants Garrick out of his hair."
Illian MacGregor: "But I can't remove Garrick now. He would turn on me, and we would all be doomed."
Valron: "The problem is... How do we sort all of this out?"
Alsa: "I can arrange a solution."
Valron: "And that would be?"
Alsa: "Borne will pretend to die. Then he will revive in another body of his choice and serve you. We will move his troops and forces to also serve you. He will remain in control while we use Garrick or someone else as a puppet."
Valron: "So, the old 'start anew' trick."
Alsa: "You only need deal with Anthon Tark and Sloan."
Illian MacGregor: "Hm. That seems reasonable."
Valron: "...Sloan. Yeah, I have a feeling that one's going to be a doozy."
Illian MacGregor: "What does Sloan want?"
Alsa: "He's using Garrick as his pawn. He aims to use the loophole with Jack to perhaps take over the world for himself."
Valron: "...Seriously, though. I thought he had his own dimension or something."
Alsa: "Anthon Tark... is too spiritually powerful. He does not use my energy and yet he still poses a threat. That was just so he could build up his forces to finish the job. Do not EVER believe a word he says. He will fool you. And you will die."
Valron: "Of course."
Alsa: "Garrick has fallen for everything he has said. Garrick, if not properly subverted, may become HIS subordinate instead. I suspect he wants both sides dead."
Valron: "And that certainly wouldn't do."
Alsa: "Anyway. What else?"
Illian MacGregor: "The Questers outnumber and outpower us."
Valron: "Hideously so. At least, in terms of power."
Illian MacGregor: "We are outnumbered and will be destroyed if you do not do something."
Alsa: "I understand. However my power only extends to my area. If you are defending me against Questers, then you shall have my assistance. If you leave this world, I cannot reach you. Consider yourselves empowered, but only as long as you are defending me against them. I shall not aid you in attacking Mad Men or Jack, should you decide that to be a course of action."
Valron: "Right. Spheres of influence and all that sort."
Illian MacGregor: "...Hm. We shall have to stick to this area then. We cannot let the Questers attack and kill us. Here or supported by the Solarian fleet shall be where we are, then. Still, with Garrick doing that, and us dealing with them, that leaves me to wonder what your opinion on Red Text and the Time Cops are."
Alsa: "You have superseded Red Text. His station inefficiently used my energy. You on the other hand are more direct. As my creator, you shall be allowed to use that energy as long as you use it to defend this planet. The Time Cops are an annoyance. If they get in my way, you are allowed to use my power to annihilate them."
Illian MacGregor: "I see. We'll be dealing with them next, because we have no clue what Ael is doing."
Metal Man (GM): He'd lean back, then look to Valron.
Illian MacGregor: "Anything you think should be brought up before we go?"
Valron: "The control points. Is there any way to go about restoring them? If there's a point to doing so, I mean."
Alsa: "The control points extend my reach. If you can sacrifice enough gold or power, you can rebuild them. They are likely to be guarded by Borne or Jack though."
Valron: "I see. If we can get Borne on our side, then that'd at least simplify things. The real problem would be Jack, though..."
Alsa: "Jack is trying to break free of my control. If one of you would become my vessel instead, then he could be discarded."
Valron: "Also, what do you mean by 'power'? Just pump enough energy into it, or...?"
Alsa: "Energy of any kind. Electrical, thermal, whatever should fit."
Valron: "Hm. Well, I wouldn't exactly mind stepping up to plate... It's not like I haven't placed all sorts of burden on my body, mind, or soul before anyways..." *He shrugs as he says that.*
Alsa: "I will consider that, then."
Valron: "Good to know."
Illian MacGregor: "That should be enough, now we need to figure out what Ael is doing, then we need to prepare for the invasion and let the tricks begin... we must let them think they have won, then strike them down at their victorious moment."
Valron: "Gives us time to work behind the scenes and make the real welcoming party for 'em."
Illian MacGregor: "Yes. We must use the fact they are coming here to our advantage."
Metal Man (GM): He would gesture to the control room.
Valron: "And time... is our most valuable resource, so we shouldn't squander it."
Illian MacGregor: "Get enough of the planet unified and attack them when they think they have won. Tear them to pieces like it accidentally did to the Alsa Questers. I failed to make the Questers better people. So we shall simply destroy them for good."
Valron: "I still think there might be some chance of reasoning if you can just break whatever bit of idiotic charm Xavier has going for him, but... It matters little, I suppose."
Illian MacGregor: "If you can think of anything, I am all ears."
Valron: "The thing is... I don't exactly have any ideas. I'm not as familiar with Xavier as you are. Though if we can find some way to tie it into the deception, then it'd be a nice bonus, at least. A bit of a ruckus amongst the ranks, so to speak."
Illian MacGregor: "These Questers..."
Metal Man (GM): He looks to you, like he's speaking of demons.
Illian MacGregor: "They revived him after he was blown to bits for being an evil maniac. They overthrew Snake and brought him in as their leader as he was actively plotting to kill him. They planned to follow him into hell itself, and kill the demons that lived in there, because he said so. At this point, there is no reasoning with them that I know. They destroyed their own world--because he told them to--then they kept following him even after that!"
Valron: "...Okay, not to sound out of line, but. Isn't using future idiocy to reason why things wouldn't work with Questers of the far past kinda loaded?"
Illian MacGregor: "Perhaps. Perhaps there is a chance." *He would spin a globe of Nintendus in the room.* "They have not become set in their ways."
Valron: "Exactly. There's still a chance to break the mold."
Illian MacGregor: "The main hope would be Razor, or Yurie. Neither of them signed on to the crazy train. If Razor turned, he could kill all of them for us."
Valron: "Yeah. They're the 'weak links' in Xavier's chain, so to speak."
Illian MacGregor: "Garrick of the time... ...not intelligent enough. Gibby of course, was with the Questers then, so he probably won't use him against us... The danger is if Razor feels we are wrong, he can just as well kill us if we don't have an escape plan. And I doubt Xavier will just let us talk."
Valron: "We'd need to find a way to shut Xavier out, then. Add to it, at the least, we could maybe convince Razor to just step down and out of the picture. If we can't convince him to turn against Xavier, at the least."
Illian MacGregor: "Perhaps, though I believe we should do both. Try to reason with them, then be able to kill them when, I mean if they don't listen."
Valron: *He rolls his eyes slightly at the 'when', before nodding when it becomes an 'if'.* "Indeed. It's best to go through all our options before we burn bridges And if we convince Yurie and Razor to go against them, then more power to us."
Illian MacGregor: "Yes." *He wearily summons the warp to the next place, then walks into it.*
Valron: *He follows behind, stretching out a little bit.*
Metal Man (GM): You'd warp into the Time Cop base, where Ael is building things.
Ael: "Oh. I see you decided to drop in. "
Illian MacGregor: "The Questers are coming to destroy Alsa and Garrick. We need you to be ready."
Ael: "I've rebuilt what I could, but your other half and his Questers and Borne leveled most of my facilities. I really could use some help here."
Illian MacGregor: "What kind of help?"
Ael: "I need more Time Cops..."
Illian MacGregor: "If I knew where good people existed, I'd have hired them myself."
Valron: *Simply lets the two talk for now, not really having anything to contribute for the moment.*
Illian MacGregor: "Is there any other way we could help?"
Ael: "Well, the Dweezil still are attacking. I've managed to hold them off, but they could figure a way around. Maybe you could convince them these Questers are a bigger problem."
Illian MacGregor: "Hmm. What do you think, Valron?"
Valron: "What I figure is... That the real problem is the Questers and that we shouldn't be wasting time with such squabbles, no matter how immemorial the amount of time behind them has gone on, so... I see nothing wrong with trying to convince the Dweezil to focus their efforts on them instead."
Illian MacGregor: "Agreed. Let's go." *He'd make the portal, and go to leave.*
Valron follows along, as per usual.
Metal Man (GM): And... I think we'll pause here. I have an idea what to do with Illian now, but now I need to think--and to get Garrick going next. +300 EXP to Dragoshi The huge phone call kinda distracted me too.
Metal Man (GM): Grabbin' the logs... Yes, that's right. You'd be walking towards the great crater you created. Oddly, the undead are basically gone. In fact, most of the area is abandoned. The ship lays there, seemingly also abandoned, and open to the world. It oozes an eerie green mist. Most likely highly toxic. The undead gone, the ship seems... inert. Nope. The EXP thingy earlier should show up... I'm not sure if I'll ever get TO logging this, to be entirely honest, either. I've sped up, but if my track record stays the same, it'll be 2020 by the time I do.
Editor's Note: >_>.... <_<.... HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT PAST ME, THAT'S ONLY ABOUT 6 MONTHS OFF AT MOST
Garrick Fy`aar walks up to the ship, frowning at it for a moment. He tries to ascertain if it's in flyable condition.
Metal Man (GM): Oh, it will probably be logged, but so long into the future if we're even still in this room... we'll probably be old people who hardly recognize it anymore. :p You'd see that the ship is flyable. Just that, that gas probably wouldn't be good for you to breathe in. Aye. You may have to brave the poison gas. Or try to figure out a solution to it.
Editor's Note: Well that part is wrong, although certain events were more memorable than others. ... ...Who you callin' old, past me?
Garrick Fy`aar presses a few buttons on his wrist computer, attempting to scan the gas.
Metal Man (GM): You detect the gas. It's a precaution Jack put into place on his ship, possibly after that whole incident recently with people blowing up one of his trains that's in your news archive. It basically slowly poisons and kills any humans that would walk into it. It's slow enough that you could probably survive... well with enough luck anyway... but on the other hand, do you want to appear to Borne weak and poisoned?
Garrick Fy`aar doesn't like any part of this... he'd have to find a way to siphon off the gas or make in inert in someway... perhaps with some form of anti-toxin. But he doesn't have any of that on him. "...okay, so... ship is filled with gas and it isn't going away, which means it's being generated by the ship, whiiiich means there's a program running to keep the gas going. ...which can probably only be accessed from the bridge."
Metal Man (GM): You'd also see a different path, one that is full of ruts in the ground, probably Jack based on the metallic ripping into the dirt and dripping nanite bits. The soldiers are not too far away, and you should be able to radio them.
Garrick Fy`aar would do so. *C* "Hey, you guys. You don't happen to have any gas masks, do you?"
Carrington: *C* "Standard equipment for espionage. Datadyne loved to use gas. We'll send you some."
Garrick Fy`aar: *C* "The sooner you can get it to me, the better."
Metal Man (GM): A few moments later, a soldier would arrive and drop off 2 gas masks for you, salute, then head off.
Garrick Fy`aar nods to him, waving in return before taking one of the masks and strapping it on. He makes sure the seal is perfectly tight so no air would be getting in besides the one through the filter. He straps the second mask to his belt and heads on in.
Metal Man (GM): You'd walk in, and see that no skeletons remain. The Time Cop infrastructure has been corroded with teal crystals, which seem to act as a technology-magic bridge. To think, had he any more knowledge, he could probably cobble together a primitive form of magitek himself.
Garrick Fy`aar frowns at that thought before making a be line for the first computer console he finds.
Metal Man (GM): Nonetheless, you'd make it to the bridge, which would be completely undefended. Instead, there's the controls, which have a huge crystal stuck to them.
Garrick Fy`aar walks up to the crystal and looks it over... he tries scanning it...
Metal Man (GM): The crystal blocks using it normally. Unless you can suddenly make spellcraft checks for Alsan magic. It's an Alsan magic crystal. It interfaces with the ship and makes it into one huge magical device a sorcerer can control like a magic item. If not removed properly, it may just destroy the entire ship, or at least the controls, or even just cause the ship to start randomly malfunctioning. Of course it may be bypassable too, should you know where to look...
Garrick Fy`aar: .oO(I doubt I can use that thing normally... I don't have any regular magical power myself. I'd need to find a way to bypass it... maybe there's another console somewhere I can use to backdoor into the main control systems...) *He would head toward the engine room. Best place to look after the bridge.*
Metal Man (GM): As you would expect, Jack never really understood how this thing worked. While the controls are more crude here, they still are sitting there, open and un-crystal'd.
Garrick Fy`aar: .oO(HERE we go... let's see here...) *He would start off by looking through the main control setup, making sure he can get around in the system without having to do any real hacking.*
Metal Man (GM): Normally you'd need to hack it, but it was hacked to make it usable with magic crystals, so... no problem using it.
Garrick Fy`aar makes sure there isn't any sort of monitoring or dangerous programs or anything he'd recognize running around, then. No separate boobytraps that Jack might have left...
Metal Man (GM): Jack basically used the crystal to control it and nothing more. The only danger is that, apparently, there is still a phone-home program on it by the Time Cops... and it's still reporting everything to someone...
Garrick Fy`aar frowns for a moment... he doesn't see how that could really bite him at the moment. Though the Time Cops might not like their ship getting blown to hell by Borne. He'd need to be careful, is all. Just turning it off would alert them. He'd start, then, by deactivating this damn gas.
Metal Man (GM): The gas turns off. No muss, no fuss.
Garrick Fy`aar makes sure it's gone before removing that mask. He hated gas masks. Now, he runs a full diagnostic of all the control systems. Helm, weapons, shields, engines... he wants to be sure everything essential is there if Borne gets uppity.
Metal Man (GM): Memories of Genetia, eh? You would then see that most of the ship has been very heavily damaged. The Time Drive is... completely missing. The weapons have been kept just barely functional. The helm is basically disabled by that crystal and running on backup power. Correct. The ship does however cheerfully report to you where its Time Drive went-- ... "Xavier Ridgecrest's Convert-a-Car."
Garrick Fy`aar: "...Metal? Metal took it? ...when?" *He checks this.*
Metal Man (GM): The computer shows that the ship crashed long ago, during the Borne-Judge Dredd Time Cop battle. The core fell loose inside the ship. Then, more recently, someone and Xavier ripped it out of this ship. More recently, Jack reanimated the ship to his own purposes. Hmmmmm. Correct. This ship has not been used super recently. It has been sitting here. The ship that attacked you at the cave is currently at locations unknown. This ship is Judge Dredd's flagship, or was.
Garrick Fy`aar frowns... then checks to make sure if he can get the thing flying. He doesn't need too much from it. Just enough to get him into Borne's territory...
Metal Man (GM): It looks like it's repeatedly been underwater and damaged. It begins to slowly pick up off the ground.
Garrick Fy`aar: "It's a shame, old girl... I'd be happy to treat you right, if things were different..."
Metal Man (GM): It still functions enough to fly. Given its large size, it could have transported Jack's skeleton army. A few pieces break off, but nothing critical. It's in the air, unsteadily lurching now and again, but it is responsive. The engine is still somewhat full of seawater, leading to it smelling like seafood in here.