Date: 1:19:45 AM, January 21st to 1:57:32 AM, January 21st;
4:19:46 PM, January 25th to 11:57:34 PM, January 25th, 2013.
Metal Man (GM): WTF THIS IS NOT A NORMAL SESSION
Xavier Ridgecrest, EXTREME QUESTER OF DOOM, sits at the Big Room. At the other end of the table is Ivan Robotnik.
They stare at one another for a minute. Then....
Ivan Robotnik: "...Why did you invite me here without any of the other Questers present, again?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Oh right... those other guys... uhhhh... whoops!"
Ivan Robotnik: *Facepalms.*
"Well, I'm not here for nothing. The Time Cops... are gone."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Normally I would be cheering. But it did not involve something I did!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Actually... it did."
Metal Man (GM): He shows an image of the giant rip in space-time.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Huh."
Ivan Robotnik: "This giant hole in space time will kill us all and consume the entire dimension if not fixed."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh yeah, I know. It's the same one that ate my homeworld."
Ivan Robotnik: "You're... not afraid?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It didn't feel good to be eaten by a black hole, but it wasn't fatal."
Ivan Robotnik: "..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes, yes, yes! I know! It's not good for everyone else! It has to be gotten rid of, right? We need all the artifacts, and then..."
Ivan Robotnik: "Actually, there is no huge plan. I'm not even going to tell you to go to Hell and get the Soul Cube."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Damn! What am I going to do without having a wacky adventure to cover up all my mistakes with anymore?"
Ivan Robotnik: "To be honest, I have no clue why this is. Except maybe for the fact that you probably aren't supposed to be here. I looked at the records. This was all supposed to be over."
"No Smash Energy."
"No Questers."
"No you... no... THIS... either."
"You supposedly learned from that 'Book' Incident, and had left this realm."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. That was the convenient answer, until I realized that Garrick and my evil clone wanted me dead."
Ivan Robotnik: "But had you stayed gone, they'd have no one to chase. Now your actions have doomed reality. This is no Book--if this is not fixed, there will never BE a Quest. You will have DESTROYED ALL OF TIME for this realm."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well I had a good reason! Crazy people were calling the Questers names!"
Ivan Robotnik: "What, the mass murdering, insane people who claimed to be Questers late in your tenure and beyond? The ones who, tellingly, aren't even here anymore?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...It was for a good cause!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Your golden car? Building an ever-increasingly strange array of weapons? Killing things simply because they existed and were difficult to destroy?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Fine. So maybe there is no noble goal. What's it to you?"
Ivan Robotnik: "Well, I'm no noble soul myself. Originally I had made a pact with The Void to rule this realm and remove you and the Questers. Clearly that backfired."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yeah. My team was deadlier than anything you or Voidy could ever do."
Ivan Robotnik: "Yes. To be honest, I only pledge myself to your side because you have made The Void look like a poodle. You have destroyed more realms than him, and will soon destroy this one too. However, the boon I ask of you is the same I asked of The Void--I am to survive if I am to serve you."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, that isn't too hard."
Ivan Robotnik: "I want to stay here, however."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Dammit."
Ivan Robotnik: "So you must stop that whole nonsense out there, otherwise you will simply have no assistance. The warp hole will kill you, Illian, Garrick and the whole mess. It'll all be over, and no one will speak of us again, because everyone we've ever touched will be dead. Given I die in the old timeline anyway, I don't much mind. If you're that pathetic, it's not like I have a choice."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You can call me many things, but pathetic is not one of them! I will show you the taste of Peppermint Uranium Ice Cream!" *Brandishes oddly glowing 'Die-Ers Brand Ice Cream'*
Ivan Robotnik: "...There's no one here to impress with your catchphrases, Xavier."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So what? Maybe somebody will make a T-shirt out of it!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Will they be selling T-shirts if the entire world is annihilated?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...So. What is it that I have to do to make you stop being a Debbie Downer? Because I'm about to become a Marky Maniac Murderer if you don't give me something to do."
Ivan Robotnik: "The Time Cops have left. Naturally, that leaves those Dweezil things your logs mentioned. Your very suspiciously doctored logs."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There were always five Dr. Marios!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Right. So go out there, and make them fix it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Okay."
Ivan Robotnik: "...You're not even going to question it?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I don't fear any weird Steam people who I only have indirect data on."
Ivan Robotnik: "Your own data said they could destroy us with the push of a button!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Seems like everyone can do that these days. I'll be more afraid of the people who could slowly damage me one bit at a time. I'm more liable to forget those."
*Takes out his golf club* "I can handle this."
Ivan Robotnik: "...By yourself?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let me level with you. I have some of the most intelligent, strongest Questers around."
Metal Man (GM): He stares Ivan straight in the eyes.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...They won't walk into traps for me or mindlessly kill anyone anymore. I cannot risk their morals slowing me down in this case."
Metal Man (GM): He would then glance down, realizing he climbed atop the table while doing that.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I hate when the camera tricks m--" *Smashes head into ceiling* "OW! ...Anyway..."
"I'm going, and there's something you could do to stop me!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Run very far away?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No! Change your name to Super Duper Vladimir Extreme!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier makes a weird gesture, then warps into thin air.
Ivan Robotnik: "Damned fool. Why did he have to outlive everyone useful..."
Metal Man (GM): He'd idly sweep up the plaster, while Xavier....
DWEEZIL BATTLEFLEET
Laconius is on the bridge, staring straight ahead. He sees the evil hole in time-space.
There, he stares.
Laconius: "Hm. A time-rip of this size means... yes. Someone has caused the progenitor paradox. Going back in time and creating a new world on top of an old timeline... in the same universe that said timeline came from."
"That's not a very nice thing to do." *He takes out a mint Julep and drinks it.* "Ain't nice at all."
"I reckon I'll... I'll..."
Metal Man (GM): He is interrupted by Xavier falling facedown onto the floor behind him.
Laconius: "...Repair the warp blockers, because a Time Cop Warper gettin' in here is downright scoundrelish."
Metal Man (GM): He turns around and points a clockwork gun at Xavier's body.
Laconius: "Intruder! You down't belong here! Not without my permission, anyways."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "FOOL! ONLY I ALLOW MYSELF! AND I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF, IMBECILE!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier stands up. Laconius shoots him. The gun fires a massive bolt that rips straight through Xavier's chest. It reveals a bunch of machinery... and no heart.
Xavier raises an eyebrow at him, while he steps back.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Was that it? Were you going to kill me by shooting an organ I don't even have? HUH?"
Laconius: "Yew ain't a Time Cop! They don't like technology!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I ain't no Time Cop! I'm here to make you patch a hole like an outer space plumber!"
Laconius: "I can kill yew faster than you can blink, so don't try anything, trash man!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I've died more times than you can count on both hands in base 2!"
Laconius: "Then I'll make you die again!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "And risk me respawning atop the fine pipework in your ship's lobby? Blood, all over the doilies in the lunch room!"
"Believe you me, I have soiled more expensive floor coverings with my death juice than you have ever imagined!"
Laconius: "...Did they replace yer brain with a Bizarro-switch or somethin'?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I am so bizarre that I am normal again! Now I demand you patch the space hole before I take my space hole that you made in me and choke you to death with it!"
Laconius: "Yew can drop the act now. I know you want to trade. Yer some fool mercenary thing. I'd kill yew, but maybe yew could do something useful..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! You are son of a dairy farmer! I merely come to..." *he would pause.* "Curses! Why must you deprive me more opportunities to say insane gibberish?"
Laconius: "I knew a man like yew once, he fooled everybodah by acting bizarre, then shot them while they had their back turned. Yer a dangerous rattler that won't go away after yer tail's been chopped off. But not too dangerous. I still have mah shovel. You're just a bunch of guts n' gears who hides behind the myth."
"Yew want that Time Hole fixed? Yew give us Alsa."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! Alsa is MINE!"
Laconius: "So... yew want a planet that's gonna be destroyed 15 minutes after you capture it?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "YES! I mean NO! I mean... MAYBE!"
Laconius: "If yew want that hole patched, yew'll actually bargain."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Where is the 'shoot everyone' option? I am greatly bemused!"
Laconius: "Yew can shoot us all, then yer hole remains unpatched."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Fine, fine! You people tire me out! I just want to go back to shooting everyone who dares question my taste in music!"
Laconius: "Yew'll give us Alsa?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes, under one condition. Garrick and Borne are mine! They must both die in a horrible fireball! Or maybe merely be humiliated! Depending upon who is around me! Unnecessary screaming!"
Laconius: *Sighs* "...Fine, just do what you agreed to and get yer varmint butt outta my ship. Yer screamin' is givin' the missus a headache."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What? WHERE IS THIS PERSON? I MUST FIGHT THEIR HEADACHE WITH THE POWER OF RADIATION!"
Laconius: "..." *Shakes his head* "Yew musta been raised in the bushes by wolves or somethin', you have th' manners of a drunken elephant."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But elephants are the enemy of Locos! That is why they are awesome!"
Laconius: "What th' hell are you even sayin?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Whatever I bloody feel like!"
Laconius: "..." *Walks away.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Don't walk away from me! I am the most awesome person that ever died!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out his gun and aims it at Laconius.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I, too can unnecessarily shoot people before making deals with them!"
Metal Man (GM): He fires a massive beam. Laconius doesn't even bother to care despite it ripping a hole in the side of the bridge.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Damn. I must have drunk too much Saturn Coffee! Time to go and save the universe!"
Metal Man (GM): He falls face forward into a warp.
He returns, as Ivan has just finished patching the ceiling.
Quester HQ
He falls through the ceiling, onto Ivan, then stands up again to the side.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, I did it. The universe is saved."
Ivan Robotnik: "Could it involve not nearly killing me?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Maybe."
Ivan Robotnik: "So what did they say?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That I have a hole where my heart should be."
Ivan Robotnik: "That you do! I can even see the blast exit wound!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No! The other kind of heart!"
Ivan Robotnik: "...And that saves the universe?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No! The plan is, we take over Alsa."
Ivan Robotnik: "... Why?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Because then, evil Southern Gentleman Man will save the day and patch the hole!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Did you check that he could actually do what he said?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No."
Ivan Robotnik: "Did you get it in writing?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No."
Ivan Robotnik: "Does he have any reason to fear your reprisal if he should not fulfill his end of the bargain?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Probably not! Look, I have a backup plan. Borne had a device that my evil, uncool alter ego used to recreate a bogus version of this reality."
"If we take over Alsa, we can use that!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Hm. That'd be... the first intelligent thing you've said all day. ...But you shouldn't go to Alsa alone."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Why not?"
Ivan Robotnik: "When was the last time you succeeded alone there?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...A lack of precedent doesn't mean I can't win now!"
Ivan Robotnik: "Doesn't mean you can't not win either."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Curse you and your logic! Why can't we just do everything randomly?"
Ivan Robotnik: "It made Charles Magellean and Julian Sawyer."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! Fine. I will bring the Smart Questers. Their intelligence should help me win!"
Ivan Robotnik: "...Though you still have your alter ego and Garrick to worry about."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I only worry about how they might not last long enough for me to have fun killing them!"
Ivan Robotnik: "...Whatever."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You people keep getting tired of me, but you'll see! I'll save the world. No... the Questers will! I will just act as their cheerleader! Except I won't wear a dress, because I haven't found the right one to match my armor yet. Do they make sequins out of chrome?"
Ivan Robotnik: "You do that." *He shakes his head.* "I have calculations to do."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Stands there in the room, alone* "Hm... yes. I shall need a bigger audience to actually have any purpose to my sayings. Otherwise it is all dead air and boring science people! Annoying BORING SCIENCE PEOPLE."
Metal Man (GM): He would shake his head and wander off to the Big Room.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Questers! Assemble!"
Metal Man (GM): PAUSE
Metal Man (GM): Recap
There was this giant hole in time, caused by Xavier.
It was destroying the universe.
The Time Cops left, leaving Ael alone to die in the catastrophe.
Ael decided to join Illian in order to help stop it.
But before he could do any of that, he needed allies, so Valron helped pick up The Arbiter.
The Arbiter and Valron and Ael are now in one group, as Illian has noted something is amiss with the Gray Mann, and needs to be dealt with.
Continuation
Having finished the warp, the group is now in front of the Gray Mann's... strangely quiet looking lair.
Ael: "Ah. Classic Evil Genius architecture. Some sort of underground bunker. There's an entrance right ahead, but if we take it, we'll be exploded."
The Arbiter: "Clearly he has powered down his defenses so that we will try to enter it. We should not do that."
Ael: "It's kind of odd working with you in the field, Arbiter. I thought you couldn't do that."
Valron: "Then what do you recommend? Throwing canaries into it?"
The Arbiter: "I withhold whatever might harm the timeline I'm in. In this timeline, I would suggest we find an alternate entrance."
Valron: "Of course. Doubt it'll be obvious, though, knowing how this fellow operates... In any case..."
Metal Man (GM): You'd see the place. It has twin smokestacks in the distance, up atop the cliff it's built into.
The actual entrance is a huge blast door, with a small entrance door and a keypad on it.
There's a way to climb up the cliff... and also a sheer cliff into the ocean.
And cameras lining the outside of the bunker.
Ael: "I'm not entirely sure we want to be seen."
The Arbiter: "They would have detected our warp already."
Valron: "A valid concern, but... yes."
Ael: "Why isn't anyone going after us?"
The Arbiter: "Unknown."
Valron: "Well, Illian did say the whole thing was one big trap."
Ael: "Yes. We should attempt to trap whoever is doing the trap."
Valron: "Now, the real question is... Do we want to press our luck with climbing... or see if there's anything hidden near that cliff leading into the ocean?"
The Arbiter: "Or avoid the trap entirely."
Valron: "That too. Don't think any of us have any portable canaries handy, though."
The Arbiter: "Climbing to the side is usually considered fatal to organics without preparation. Suspect it would be a usable secret route to avoid detection."
Ael: "Or we could pretend to be fooled by the trap in the front door, then catch the welcoming committee unawares."
The Arbiter: "Ael doesn't like safe option. Be advised."
Ael: "I got better results."
The Arbiter: "By dying."
Ael: *Shrugs.*
Valron: "We could also split, but honestly? That'd potentially be even riskier than doing one or the other."
Ael: "Even I don't like that idea."
The Arbiter: "It is too obvious."
Valron: "I figured as such."
Ael: "If you have another idea, I'm all ears."
The Arbiter: "I would rather we start sooner rather than later."
Valron: "Iiiin any case I see the validity in both ideas, but! I do believe I'll work with the Arbiter's."
The Arbiter: "Let us get to the cliffs."
Metal Man (GM): He would walk to the cliffs, and begin climbing.
Valron: "I mean, it's not like all of us can't fly anyways, right? ...Oh."
The Arbiter: "I can fly. But that would generate emissions."
Metal Man (GM): He grabs the rock heavily enough to crush it.
Valron: "Fair enough."
The Arbiter: "Climbing is easy for an elemental linked to earth like me."
Ael: "Blah blah blah."
Valron: "I... don't think I'll have the same problem. Wings and whatnot."
Metal Man (GM): Ael summons a bridge of ice and walks on it, out into the air.
Ael: "All right, where are we going?"
Metal Man (GM): You see several places to go.
You can continue a short ways and try to enter some sort of dockyards on the lower part of the cliff.
Continue to the factory and try breaking in through sealed metal shutters...
...Or go a real long ways down to some bona fide open windows that appear to lead to a boardroom.
Or look for more if this is not what you intended... or even try to climb up to the roof if you dislike these.
Valron: "Mm... I'm leaning towards either the docks or the boardroom. Or maybe the roof. Thoughts?"
The Arbiter: "The docks are likely to have sentient life on them. The factory is automated to my knowledge. I would prefer the factory."
Ael: "And get crushed by machines? No thanks. I agree with you, Valron. We can overpower the weaklings on the docks or go straight to the boardroom and blow it up."
The Arbiter: "The boardroom is likely a trap."
Ael: "So?"
Valron: "...Or we could drop in from above on the roof. Could be worth trying."
The Arbiter: "That would still require picking a location. The factory or the boardroom. Again, I would advocate the factory. Through a smokestack, maybe."
Ael: "Pah. To the boardroom!"
Valron: "...Factory, then. Machines aren't much of a problem if you know the right thing to break."
Ael: "Well, right, until you get on the conveyor belts."
The Arbiter: "This way."
Metal Man (GM): He would climb up to the roof.
Ael would follow.
Valron follows along as well.
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter would reach the smokestack.
The Arbiter: "This is a dangerous place not for human inhabitation."
Ael: "Great. How do we get in?"
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter rips the smokestack out, then walks into the hole.
You hear a fan get smashed and the smoke down below starts to vanish.
Ael: "...Right."
Metal Man (GM): Ael would start climbing down a ladder in the side of the smokestack.
Ael: "So much for it being uninhabitable. They must maintain it... occasionally..."
Valron: "...Heh." *He chuckles a little, before following the duo down.*
Metal Man (GM): You walk down inside and see... yes. The largest factory you've seen in ages.
Huge machines everywhere. Down below, you see the shattered remnants of a fan that was sucking smoke out of this hole in the ceiling.
The machines are building robo-Questers by the billions.
Baseball bats, Deloths, and Kuja-slaying-gloves line the conveyor belts.
The one belt that was near this machine and the ladder you're using has been smashed to bits by the Arbiter landing on it.
A small mountain of parts is piling up near it, which now reaches up to the ladder you're on.
Ael leaps onto it and slides onto the floor itself.
The Arbiter stands at the bottom, waiting.
Valron lands as well, looking around, taking note of the gloves and whatnot.
Metal Man (GM): It's dim and hazy, lit up by harsh orange lighting.
Smoke has begun to fill the area since you broke the system. A buzz from an alarm occurs, but nobody is there.
The Arbiter: "Our goal is to remove this foe. This is his factory."
Ael: "So... we just find the controls?"
The Arbiter: "And smash them to pieces."
Ael: "That's too easy."
Valron: "I doubt it'll be that easy, but it'll certainly help a bit."
The Arbiter: "This place most likely has a guardian that is busy elsewhere. I detect other Borne agents in the facility."
Valron: "I see. Will we be avoiding them, or...?"
The Arbiter: "We should avoid all questionable agents, including those. If we duck behind the belts when we see them, we can get out without fighting."
Ael: "Bah! Why don't we just find them, team up, and blow up the guardian of this place?"
The Arbiter: "It would be a waste of time."
Valron: "Less of a bother, yes."
Ael: "I don't think we'd gain anywhere near as much equipment or coins from just hiding to the control room."
The Arbiter: "We can find it by sneaking into other areas."
Ael: "Well, up to you, Valron."
Valron: "Yeah, s'not like we can just snatch up whatever's around that looks valuable anyways. Just gotta be a bit more clever about it, is all."
Metal Man (GM): They gesture for you to lead down this aisle, after nodding.
You can lead the way. Up ahead it seems clear, but you'll have to walk to be sure.
Valron continues on, deciding to keep low for the moment. Best not to be caught off guard by walking around and assuming it's clear.
Metal Man (GM): You'd walk by, and notice somebody looking for a fight--some sort of guard-bot. It resembles Garrick.
Garrickbot: "Find... Questers. Kill... Questers. Find... Questers. Kill... Questers."
Metal Man (GM): He repeats this while brandishing an M-150 knockoff.
You have the chance to duck or to fight. Your choice.
Or something else if that takes your fancy.
Ael: "We can take him."
The Arbiter: "Do we need to even waste our time with him?"
Valron: "...I'd rather we take him out in one shot instead of having to actually fight him." *He carefully examines the Garrickbot, looking for any particular flaws...*
"You know, if we have to."
The Arbiter: "There are likely many of them here. Destroying one might alert the rest."
Ael: "We could cause a machine to fall on him."
The Arbiter: "And alert the others?"
Metal Man (GM): You'd see a machine bolted to the ground he's walking by.
The Arbiter could probably just shove it at him.
There's also some heavy stuff precariously chained to the ceiling in the other direction.
Valron: "We could use it as a distraction. Shove that machine into him, or drop somethin' on 'im, then just slip by as quickly as possible while they're distracted."
Ael: "Both, huh? You have a ranged weapon or should I hit it?"
The Arbiter: "This will make a massive noise and a mess, but you are the boss." *He would prepare to drop the object, waiting on your confirmation/answering to Ael.*
Valron: *Pulls out Phantom's Machinegun* "Got this. I also have a Borne-22 Laser Rifle, but I kinda like this better."
The Arbiter: "Initiating protocol."
Metal Man (GM): The Garrickbot walks behind the machine.
The machine then is shoved off its hinges and hits him, smashing him to bits.
You hear more alarms and footsteps approaching.
Ael: "We should keep moving, so we can attack whoever is there."
The Arbiter: "We should move even if we don't plan on that."
Valron nods, before getting a move on, making sure to keep low.
Metal Man (GM): You would see three paths: Further down this aisle, down another aisle further back, or a riskier one right in line with the one where you made a huge noise and mess.
Valron makes his way down the aisle further back.
The Arbiter: "This way should suffice."
Ael: "I still say we should lay in wait and destroy whoever shows up."
Metal Man (GM): And now... brb one moment, before I reveal the footsteps.
Valron: "Bah. We'll probably have to cause some noise sooner or later. Best laid plans, Ael. Best laid plans... Not yet, though..."
Metal Man (GM): The footsteps become clear.
You see the group of people now.
They were badges with Ds on them. The Ds are like a Quester badge.
One of them is a red robin Mobian. The other is clearly a Robotnik, although altered.
Another looks exactly like Garrick.
A final one is a bona fide, not dead Reploid.
He looks vaguely like Panzer, only in black armor and clearly male.
The red robin mobian is leading them. They look at the destroyed robot.
???: "What do you think this is?"
Metal Man (GM): The Garrick takes out his dex.
Garrick Clone: "My dex tells me this used to be... a robot clone of me. Smashed by this machine."
Valron: *...Decides to continue his plotted course, letting these D-folks examine that 'ol mess. No need to linger around here~*
Robin: "But who is in here?"
Valron: *While keeping stealth, of course.*
Metal Man (GM): You hear them discuss, and eventually move out of earshot.
The only thing that catches your ear is...
Reploid: "This is clearly not the Questers' work. Too intelligent."
Metal Man (GM): Oddly, this sets them at ease. You hear them walk off as well, in the distance.
Valron: *...He gives off a small smirk, before moving on.*
Metal Man (GM): You also hear them shoot another robot.
Ael: "...Those guys looked strange. It was almost like Borne made... intelligent Questers. I recall... he was reverse engineering your things."
Valron: "Guessin' by the badge he probably named them Defenders or something... And he did."
Ael: "We could have stopped him, but we supposed he would kill the Questers for us. Guess we didn't need him to."
The Arbiter: "They are not our enemies, but we need not even bother with them."
Metal Man (GM): He would gesture to a control room up ahead, guarded by... force fielded stairs.
Valron: "Mm. Fair enough. I kinda fell off at that point. Didn't like hanging around the other Questers."
The Arbiter: "With those allies distracting our robot enemies, we only need to get into there."
Ael: "Wait, why aren't they doing the same thing we are?"
Valron: "...Aahh. Figured it'd be a bit too simple without some complication. Now, if I had field generat... or"
The Arbiter: "Borne may be trying to subvert this factory for his own purposes."
Ael: "...We must destroy this place. Borne is already too powerful."
Valron: "...Amusingly enough, that's what I was thinking."
The Arbiter: "This does not even include whatever the Gray Mann is doing. If we do not act fast, whatever he is doing may trigger."
Metal Man (GM): The field blocks the way up with a nice glowing red glow.
The Arbiter: "Why is he using a red energy field? Isn't that RED's domain?"
Ael: "I don't care whose it is, we need it down."
Valron: "Alright. So, we need to... what. Disable this field, figure out what the hell he's doing, then blast this place to pieces?"
The Arbiter: "The field's generator is inside the field."
Valron: "Also, yeah. That's a bit... suspicious."
Ael: "My magic can't break it."
The Arbiter: "Normally it could, but without the Time Cop mandate, your magic is only as good as Aribar's would be... if he were here."
Ael: "Damn it. I need to take over his body again. Remember to put that on the agenda. If I can steal his body I can go back to removing people from existence that I don't like."
Valron: *He examines the stairs and field, scanning it with his eyes, trying to figure out if there are any blindspots.*
The Arbiter: "I'd suggest not. You are more intelligent this way."
Metal Man (GM): The two discuss as you are busy looking.
The stairs are fielded, but the precarious struts hanging up the entire control booth are not. But the booth itself is shielded.
Valron: "...See those struts?"
The Arbiter: "Structural design rating: Poor."
Valron: "Indeed."
Ael: "Yeah. We can blow it up and... wait... won't that destroy all the goodies inside?"
The Arbiter: "It is the most efficient option."
Ael: "But... we could see what's going inside!"
The Arbiter: "Destroying the control will immobilize the factory and give Borne's forces time to invade. Without a means to control it, his agents will fail in their mission."
Ael: "But... if we could control it long enough to change the parameters, maybe we could make sure the Gray Mann's entire faction destroys itself."
The Arbiter: "Admirable, but risky."
Valron: "Aye."
Metal Man (GM): You hear a distant shake in the ground.
Valron: "I wond-...Eh?"
The Arbiter: "Unknown energy field detected in the distance. The Gray Mann is beginning whatever it is he is trying."
Valron: "Egh." *He walks around, the booth, if possible, as if trying to look for a potential back-door...*
Metal Man (GM): You'd see there might me one, but it appears to be covered in cameras and more fields, with electrified cables on it. Only one person could squeeze in.
The booth is large and you can't tell if anyone else is in there.
Valron: "...Ahh. I think see a way around. It's a mess of cameras, fields, and some electrified cables, though ...And only one of us would be able to squeeze through."
The Arbiter: "Too risky."
Ael: "Let me go in there."
The Arbiter: "Up to you."
Ael: "...Sadly, I must defer to your judgment, as you could just leave me behind if I did it without your support. Stupid power loss."
Valron: "...Alright. I'm willing to trust you on this, Ael. Be careful, though."
Ael: "All right." *He cracks his fingers and starts floating into the booth.*
Metal Man (GM): Juuust as he's out of sight, you see the foursome approaching.
The Arbiter: "Hm. Defenders incoming. Do we delay them or hide?"
Metal Man (GM): The entire factory shakes violently again, so much so some stuff falls from shelves and the ceiling.
The Arbiter: "Gray Mann project appears to be almost activated."
Valron: "Hide first."
*He goes to find a nice little place to slip behind...*
The Arbiter looks around. With difficulty, wedges himself behind a machine.
Metal Man (GM): The group walks over. You hear talking in the booth.
Then, the foursome walks over.
Robin: "Hm. I hear something in that booth."
GarrickClone: "Yes. My dex indicates two people. One is not a machine."
Reploid: "...Residual heat energy back there. We could try and climb in..."
Robin: "No. No getting separated."
RobotnikClone: "Bah, a shield like that is something I made in 4th grade! ...In my inferior 'true' self's memories!"
Metal Man (GM): The RobotnikClone starts sabotaging the shield. Meanwhile, more noises occur that shake the entire place and make the lights flicker.
Alarms start going off.
A loud noise is heard, and something metal smashes into the glass of the booth.
You hear more talking.
Valron: *W* "Distraction is go, then?"
The Arbiter: *W* "Yes. What should we do?"
Metal Man (GM): There's no easily reachable machines, but there are some nearby hanging objects.
Valron examines the hanging objects, seeing which one is nearest to the D-team.
*While also, yanno. Making sure they aren't in the way of any struts. Wouldn't want to kill Ael.*
Metal Man (GM): A chain holding a bag of parts, a hanging "sample" Garrickbot... and a distant one that looks like a solid chunk of metal, a beam.
The parts is a bit close to the struts.
Valron: *Points to the 'sample' Garrickbot* *W* "Could bring that down"
Metal Man (GM): You hear another clank, the metal thing moving around inside there.
The Arbiter: "I cannot use my energy attacks without destabilizing this timeline. It is up to you."
Metal Man (GM): The shields are now about 75% deactivated.
RobotnikClone: "This is too easy. Where's the defense mechanisms? The giant robots?"
Valron nods, aiming at the hanging Garrickbot, planning on shooting it down.
Metal Man (GM): *SMASH*
The glass in the booth gets damaged, and a robotic Engineer's head flies out of it and lands before the foursome.
RobotnikClone: "Oh. That's where it is. Wait, who did that?"
Metal Man (GM): You start hearing more alarms as the robots start powering up.
Robin: "Someone else has the control booth! Quick! get into it!"
Metal Man (GM): The Reploid leaps up the struts and starts prying into the glass.
The Arbiter: *W* "...Better do something before that gets inside."
Metal Man (GM): The Reploid sticks its head inside the hole.
Reploid: "Wait... what the hell is that in there?"
Valron nods, switching over to the Borne-22, looking at the Reploid... checking to see how good his footing is. And his grip.
Reploid: "...Don't call me robot, strange person!"
Robin: "What do you see in there?"
Reploid: "Hey! Don't touch that switch!"
Metal Man (GM): You see it has its feet dug into the side of the booth with its claws.
The robots start walking towards your group.
Valron: *Mmm... Open fire on the claws.*
Reploid: "I'm gonna--"
Metal Man (GM): *BAPBAPBAPBAP*
The bullets cause him to fall off.
Reploid: "What the--"
Metal Man (GM): TSEER TSEER my bad.
Robin: "Wait! Over there! Is that--"
JulianBot: "Hey there sucka! I've just been told to remove you from this place for your own safety!"
Metal Man (GM): The Robin is grabbed by the Julianbot and carted off.
RobotnikClone: "...After him. If we get separated we will be considered rogue."
Reploid: "But... that blue guy! We have to get control!"
GarrickClone: "...you leave. I'm not bound by that."
RobotnikClone: "Good. Leave the inferior clone behind!"
Valron holds his breath... He's not gonna let a sigh of relief after this. Ohhhh no...
Metal Man (GM): The Reploid and Robotnik leave, while the GarrickClone shoots down several of the bots and begins climbing the struts, ignoring that the other guy was shot at.
Valron: *W* "...Is he for real? Hm. Maybe he has a barrier of some sort..."
The Arbiter: "We don't need to mince words with this one. He is in the way."
GarrickClone: "Heya Ael. Kinda stop what you're doing and I'll pretend you aren't here. No can do. My real self is too depressed, so I'm the real Garrick now. So get out of there."
Valron nods, once again opening fire. Sorry, Clonerick.
Metal Man (GM): You try to do that, but a gleam appears in his eyes.
He reacts inhumanly fast, and leaps onto the ground, facing you.
Valron: *W* "...Well, that explains why he didn't seem to care."
GarrickClone: "Oh, it's you, Dragoshi. I remember you. You never did pick a side." *He would point his gun at you.* "It's a shame I'll have to do that for you."
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter appears and he looks a bit more confused.
GarrickClone: "...You're a Time Cop?"
Valron: "Mm. Hardly. He's with me."
The Arbiter: "We do this for your own good. Even if you fight us, control is lost."
Valron: "In any case, I can't let you interfere with Ael."
GarrickClone: "Not quite."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out C-4.
GarrickClone: "You hit me, this blows up."
Valron: "Ah, yes. Should've figured..."
GarrickClone: "Taking out your supports. Borne revives me..."
The Arbiter: "...And Ael has already programmed the machines."
Valron: "Though the real question is. How sensitive is that, exactly?"
GarrickClone: "I can de-program it without being alive."
Metal Man (GM): He would then reveal surgery from being made into a DeathGuard.
GarrickClone: "Technically I'm not even human anymore. Now. Step aside..."
Valron: "Mm. It seems we're at a bit of an impasse, then."
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter steps aside, he looks to Valron. Valron would notice the Arbiter having stepped aside, and closer to GarrickClone.
Ael could be heard, oblivious.
Ael: "The machines are mine, but I can't make them target him! Dammit! KO him or something!"
Valron: "Unfortunate. You seem too good for those louts, honestly. Didn't sound like that clone Robotnik cared for you much."
GarrickClone: "I'm doing this to save the name of Garrick. Not for them or for anyone else. The real Garrick doesn't take @#$% from anyone."
Valron: "Mm. I see. You feel that using them is your only 'real' option?"
GarrickClone: "Would you give me another option that allows it to be seen that Garrick truly showed you who was boss here? Because otherwise, I know what's coming. Gray Mann allied with RED."
Valron: "...I would love it if you lended us your talents."
GarrickClone: "Interesting. However, I must decline. Your Garrick said he would kill me if he saw me ever again. Unless you plan on betraying him for me, you cannot have me on your side."
Valron: "...Ahh. So you're that clone. The one from a while back."
GarrickClone: "The one. You have about 12 minutes before @#$% hits the fan, so I advise you make this quick. We can talk who's on who's side later. Are you giving me an option to save Garrick's face, or are you going to make me blow us up?"
Valron: "Mm. I do wonder if an arrangement could be made. I do not like seeing such brilliance wasted because of one man's irrationality."
Metal Man (GM): He'd hold out the detonator, idly sidestepping a swipe from the Arbiter.
GarrickClone: "Not so fast, Arby. The real Garrick is a master of CQC. You're about as subtle as... the obvious thing you are, being a 15 foot monstrosity."
"Borne sent us here to get control over these machines."
"Let me control them instead, then."
"Borne has been nothing but bad to us Garricks."
Valron: "...Hm. Hm hm hm. Hm hm hm hm hm hm hm hm... ...Sure."
GarrickClone: "I can use the machines to fight RED."
Valron: "I'd like to see Borne get a kick in the face."
GarrickClone: "Fine dealings. Plus..." *He would chuckle.* "Then you don't get revealed as having gone behind his back. GARRICK did."
Valron: "Borne, the Gray Mann... RED. Pah. All obstructions to the real problem."
GarrickClone: "The real Garrick can return and see he kicked Borne's a@# without doing anything."
Valron: *Chuckles* "Wonderful."
GarrickClone climbs up.
Valron: "Maybe that'll snap 'im out of his funk."
Ael: "Hah! You think you can surprise me, Garrick? I can melt you into ash!"
GarrickClone: "Oh for @#$%'s sake Ael, I'm not here for you."
Ael: "We have all the controls!"
Valron: "'oy, Ael! It's alright!"
GarrickClone: "You traded them for espionage."
Ael: "I did what? ...Bah!"
Metal Man (GM): He would shatter the window and float down. Garrick would take the controls.
GarrickClone: "Now get out of here. I have a huge incoming army to blow up."
Valron: "Will do."
Ael: "You'll have to explain this to me later. I nearly had an army to rebuild the Time Cops with until this happened."
The Arbiter: "Away we go." *Makes a portal.*
Valron: *Gives 'Garrick' a lazy two-finger salute before following Ael in.* "Felt like giving Garrick a chance to restore his name. ...And pissing Borne off."
*He whispers that last part to Ael.*
Ael: "...Good, just give me a chance to restore my name next, because mine is almost as bad as his."
Valron: "In due time, Ael. In due time."
Metal Man (GM): On that note, you walk out, finishing the session. I plan to do a bit of a cinema when we start the next one...
+9 EXP to Valron
Metal Man (GM): Xavier Session
Xavier has called whoever he happened to find around at the moment to the Big Room. There, he sits in his chair. Holding a large, glowing gummi bear.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have to say. This gummi bear is most huge. I did not expect the maker to honestly be capable of making such a thing. I should create large novelty objects more often. Maybe then people will come to--oh. Right. I'm not here to build a company out of outlandishly large, strange objects."
"...Or am I?" *He looks around for whoever is there.*
KitOrbel: "You could, start with overly large pencils."
Metal Man (GM): *Gets the pizza from the oven* *Called the timing perfectly.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm. Yes. I know a company. If I steal their board of directors and strand them on a desert island, they should do my bidding."
"Of course, if that hole in reality destroys the world, it might be hard to find customers. Hmmmm... I should do something about that..."
"It's pretty simple really... we just take over Alsa."
"If you have any ideas, then... we should be off to saving the world."
KitOrbel: "..." *She looks at him,* "Ahhh... I hated Alsa. Nothing personal against it, just... Y'know. Rather not try taking it over."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's not for us though. We take it over, then hand it to insane Steampunk Time Travelers to rule over as their slave planet."
"Then the universe is saved!"
"It's very simple. Took me a while to figure out though."
"I'm wondering who we should defeat first. My fool alter-ego, Borne, or all of them."
"Indeed, the Valhalla is gassed up and ready to go, we only need to figure out who to defeat first. You have intelligence about 20 times that of the average person I had a year or two ago, so, it shouldn't be a problem. Just trick Borne into selling his country to us."
"I heard stories, like how Deloth could make his feet silent by telling them to shut up."
"It's time for me to see them in action!"
"Of course, if you know a better way to plug the hole in the universe... wait a minute... I've got it."
"We plug Alsa into the hole in reality."
"That's why those fools want it. It's about the right size to plug the gaping hole in reality."
"...Moving a planet might be out of my pay range though."
KitOrbel: "..." *She sighs softly,* "This- this is going to be problematic."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well. You have the brains. I was used as a meat shield most of the time. Or pointed at things and told the Questers to kill them. This is new territory for me. You aren't made out of 100% Prime People Killing Beef."
"In fact I don't even think I saw you until now and those few times on Alsa. The old Questers killed everything without logic. And it was good, because I sat there collecting all their paychecks for them."
"Now we have to figure out how to actually work together. That's kind of new for me."
"I'm open to suggestions, because the only reason I closed them off is the Orc kept suggesting I become a cannibal."
KitOrbel: "I'm a stealth mission kinda girl."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I had to object, because there are no other radioactive freak-cyborgs for me to eat. Anymore. All right. Stealth. Well, what I want is to undermine everything Borne has. Probably by stealing those rumors of giant death guns I've heard he has."
"There's a factory or something. I have a stealth drive on my limo, used mostly to steal things from people I don't plan on directly fighting."
KitOrbel: "Do you want to steal the rumors or the guns? Those are two very different things."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You know, intel is kind of interesting. I'll start with the intel so I don't accidentally steal my own destruction."
"I once did that, it didn't feel good."
KitOrbel: "We can easily start rumors you've stolen Borne's guns and are planning to use them. It might cause enough confusion to do more damage than actually taking them."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh. You can start rumors? I thought they were like cars I'd driven too much--unable to start, ever. All right, I have the rumor to start. Say that... I am actually Illian MacGregor, and have fooled Borne. And am planning to kill him."
"Then he can attack my doppelganger while we do whatever we want when the rumors become set in. I think."
"I am very good at lies, you see. I just forgot some people could help me spread them."
"Used to Questers who believe everything. I once told them the world was a book, and that thing they fought was real." *Takes out a book* "That was only true from a certain point of view."
"Not sure where is best though, you know Alsa better than me."
"I only know a continent that was then exploded by Eggman."
KitOrbel: "Most people start with newspapers and media outlets."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh yeah... ...I heard there was a newspaper that demonized the Questers there once. Too bad the Questers didn't just kill that guy."
KitOrbel: "Of course, you could try to be subtle, but that's not your style. It'd be easier if you went all out and did a news broadcast..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ooh. I could do one like Gerald Robotnik! Scaring everyone should work excellently."
"Preferably, I need to blow up the moon."
"Yes. Definitely blow up the moon."
Razor walks past the doorway just as Xavier goes through that little plan. He seems to be fiddling with his Dex and idly munching on a piece of pizza with an exceptional number of toppings. "I don't think anyone will believe that. It's too crazy for Illian."
KitOrbel: "Too flashy. You gotta do something -he'd- do."
"Something that's..." *She tries to find a good word to use,* "Sane?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh. Right. Good point, Razor. I'll think of something... hmmm."
KitOrbel: "Maybe you should let US think of something and you practice being normal."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, for a time, I pretended to be Illian. After he left, and saved the world."
KitOrbel: *She gets out of her chair and holds her wand in the air... Two Minute Long Transformation Sequence- GO!*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It was... rather easy. Sort of." *Rips off his shoulderpads and puts different ones on, then swaps out his cape* "...Wait, you mean there's an easy way to do this? I need to get a better agent."
KitOrbel: *Outfit bursts into ribbons--girl covered by light... Glitter... More ribbons... And... Wearing new clothes!* "Okay, now that I've got that out of the way..."
Razor blinks a few times at Kit, then shakes his head. "I'll leave the planning to you. Mets, what's the password for our database?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Gimme a moment." *Thinks*
"Hmmmmm..."
"Ah... that's right... I didn't put one on the database..."
"...Yeah. Just hit the enter key."
KitOrbel: "I'd like this power more if it didn't take so damn long..." *She brushes some glitter off her shoulder,* "Okay, so I need to analyze Illian's actions, thought patterns, and typical modus operandi."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You can view the awkward early days of Aribar every day, if you should choose."
Razor facepalms. "Well, I suppose that'll keep anyone intelligent from accessing it..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oak kept telling me hackers would do things to it. I told him I'd hack them to pieces if they tried to modify my telephones with Capn' Crunch whistles."
"Nobody screams high pitched noises into my phones without permission!"
*Dramatically takes out a broken telephone mouthpiece from a 60's phone*
"...Hm. I should have remembered to put this back on the phone I ripped it off of. Someone might call me."
"Good thing my soldering iron still works..."
*He takes out a stick of lead and a blowtorch. *
"...I'll do that later." *Sets it down on the desk.*
Razor: "Right... yeah..." *He looks to Kit.* "I wish you the best of luck..."
KitOrbel: "..." *She turns to Razor,* "So, any way I can view some footage of Illian to analyze how he acts and reacts so we can undermine his efforts by having our... Glorious leader... Pretend to be him?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh, I have videos of Illian. You want some?"
Razor: "I imagine the database is full of it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I recorded everything he did! Then I sold it on the internet. To strange people."
"And kept the originals."
"Here, let me get you a proper video." *He stumbles over to a poorly locked cabinet.*
Metal Man (GM): He opens it up and VHS videos tumble out all over the place.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "One moment, the last time I organized this, SkyHigh was here... and God of Turion."
Razor: "So... I'mma be... not here, if anyone needs me." *He takes another big bite of his pizza and just sorta... wanders off.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Make sure to come back long enough for me to claim you as dependent on my tax forms. I need to make sure the Mushroom Kingdom doesn't revoke this place's status as a Day Care. Without people like Aetos and Bonecrusher here, it's hard to maintain the fiction."
"I still have Demon though. I have him set the sandbox outside on fire between missions, so that my precious 60's lamps don't get destroyed again."
Metal Man (GM): He digs through the logs. (Which corresponds to me doing the same OOCly! Woo realism!)
KitOrbel: "Don't worry, I've got it. My magical girl powers are all centered around the balance between order and chaos. Also glitter." *She points the wand at them,* "ORGANIZE BY DATE AND TIME! Just gimme a TV and some popcorn and I'll be golden. No. The popcorn shouldn't be the kind that sets on -fire-. Carbon tastes nasty."
Metal Man (GM): The tapes fly around. You discover some of the tapes are mislabeled, and the labels are written in horrible Winnie-the-Pooh worthy handwriting.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wow... dates can actually be organized... I forgot about that."
Metal Man (GM): He pauses.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Hm... which year was it..."
KitOrbel: "..." *She sighs and waves it again,* "The general personality of Illian when and when not under stress. Organize by relevancy."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out a tape before you do that, and plays it, just to see what's on it.
Dragoshi: "...Look. I have no bloody Idea who you are, but I've heard that one too many times even BEFORE I was a Quester..."
??? (Log): "But... you don't know what a Quester is. They all died."
Scott Gibson (Log): "Cut the villian bullshit and fight us head on you pansy!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wow. I didn't know I was dead."
KitOrbel: "Oh god, the acting in these is so painful... It's like watching an entire comedy movie cast with only the chick from Twilight who's face doesn't change."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So. We should act like we are made of wood, and have sharp objects stuck in our pants. That sounds useful." *Tosses it over his shoulder* "Now for an Illian one..."
Metal Man (GM): The search takes a moment. Eventually, something comes up...
Metal Man (GM) (Log): Meanwhile, Metal sits inside his office, the big Room, and continues tirelessly filing papers.
Illian MacGregor looks over a big stack of papers. "How I hate busywork. Why do I even need papers, anyway? We violate the law just by existing."
Illian MacGregor hurls around a bunch of papers, and procures a dusty logbook.
Julian Sawyer (Log): *Julian, figuring he's got a few minutes before the match, enters R&R and tries out the new TV to see if anything's on it but propaganda.*
Illian MacGregor (Log): "This here... this is the only thing left of my old possessions."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh my God. He's looking in his logs as well! It's... it's a logversion!"
Metal Man (GM) (Log): You can almost hear Metal reading things to himself.
He seems obsessed with something or other. Which is odd, he was previously shiftless and quiet.
Charles Magellean (Log): *He passes by his office.* "Reading things as usual, Illian?"
Illian MacGregor (Log): "Something... more. I lost something... I can't seem to find it." *He searches around.*
Charles Magellean (Log): "Perhaps I can help you."
Illian MacGregor (Log): "Well... I'm not exactly sure what it is. I just feel as if somebody stole something from me."
*He looks at the mounds of paper.* "It certainly wasn't any of this garbage."
Charles Magellean (Log): "While you look for it, you could look at this. I believe it's time you knew of what Sardis has been recording and sending to us."
*He shows the journal.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah. Charles Magellean! Bah! Burn him in a fire! Better yet, he's still alive in this world, I need to burn him--oh right. The mission."
Metal Man (GM) (Log): Julian reaches the Stadium box, where Aetos has been waiting for quite a while.
Illian MacGregor (Log): *He looks at the journal.* "Ah yes, him. Too bad I don't know much about him."
Charles Magellean (Log): *He gives Metal it so he can read through it.*
Illian MacGregor (Log): *He finishes reading the book.* "Hmmm... such a confusing book. Reminds me of my own journal."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Did you see that? He read an entire book in the time it takes me to figure out where I left my gun!"
KitOrbel: "Huh. A you that can focus on a single thing for longer than ten seconds. This may be harder than I thought."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have to imitate that." *Takes out a book* "YES. I HAVE READ THIS BOOK. EVERYTHING IN IT."
KitOrbel: "Hey look a shiny thing." *She doesn't even point in a direction.*
Metal Man (GM): The book is upside down, and says "Everything you need to know about Evil, Soul Killing Ninjas from Hell."
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Warps over there* "Hey, this is just a corner of the room!"
*He warps back.*
KitOrbel: "... Yup, much harder than I thought. Look. More shiny things."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Maybe you can get some drugs. I heard there is this drug that makes you eat Anacondas."
"It should work."
"It takes too long to eat them normally."
"And they taste like fish. Fish that can kill you while you try to eat them. Bleh!"
KitOrbel: "... Drugs might work. Maybe ADHD medication- no, too risky..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No drug is too risky for me! Especially when I already take over 200 unknown substances!"
KitOrbel: "Lord knows if all your thoughts were organized you'd be able to accomplish feats of great importance."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Exactly! That's why it's horrible. But we can risk it just once. Right? It's to fool people into losing, after all."
KitOrbel: "No, no we can't. We'll have to work some other way."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm. You're right. Maybe instead, we should pretend to be Charles Magellean."
*Takes out a can of soda* "BLERGH. I AM A VERY IMPORTANT GUY IN A CHAIR."
KitOrbel: "... Is there an old Quester that refused to participate in any of this nonsense? The current nonsense, not the past nonsense."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What. You mean that guy who was just in the hallway? He's left. I think he has to go back to his home planet to do chaos God things."
KitOrbel: "Alsa may still fear the Questers enough for you to terrorize them into submission."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh. I have Rinith!"
KitOrbel: "But you need to pick one that isn't dead or currently allied with you- or anyone."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But then again, is he scary? Sometimes I look at him and wonder if he is actually more reassuring than scary. His lack of glowing evil powers... oh wait a minute. That's right. He knows how to make things violently explode! Yes... Rinith can do it. All I need to do is tell him that Ael is trying to kill me."
KitOrbel: "Not. Allied. With. You."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ohhhh. Uhhhhh... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
"I tried to hire Digi. He told me he was neutral."
KitOrbel: "If they're allied with you, then people will know. You need one that's not involved who's name you can tarnish without fear of repercussion."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Give him a space ship, and everyone he encounters will die horribly! I guarantee it!"
KitOrbel: "..." *She just smirks,* "That'll do nicely. But the difference? You're pretending to be Digi."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Do I get a Digimon? Wait. No. He hated Digimon."
KitOrbel: "It's perfect, you can become his evil clone, start with terrorizing worlds that hated the Questers and work outwards- making his name infamous with evil! Then, when all the people are outcrying against him? Defeat him. As yourself! It'll make you look like a hero!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Excellent. Now I can defeat Digi once and for all! It gets better, too. He has an exact copy of my golf club!"
"...So I don't even have to try to pretend to be him."
*Takes out flaming golf club* "And I technically learned Yellow Submarine from one of his evil clones."
"All I need to do is walk face first into traps and blow up everyone with missiles. That should do it."
"Also I will need a disguise or magic thing."
KitOrbel: "It's perfect! Now we just need to organize the media on those planets to think Digi is back to kill everyone because he's finally snapped!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I am too big and tough to look like him. I must somehow become nerdy and intentionally only slightly more powerful than a usual human. That newspaper guy can do it! I read his news. It was great."
*He takes out Alsa Times which reads MURDEROUS QUESTERS ASSASSINATE PRESIDENT.*
KitOrbel: "That can be fixed with magic. I think my wand has the trick, it's powers are all centered around Subterfuge and Illusions! And glitter."
*Wait- didn't she say earlier... Nevermind.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "My clock that is on fire can only kill people. Darn. I need to get a magic wand."
Joe: "What do you mean? You can rely on me!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Gah!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out his smash dex.
Joe: "Actually you can't. I just wanted to be relevant to something."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! All you need to do is to pretend to be the normal, boring kind of Smash Dex Digi would have!"
Joe: "You mean the one you invented?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes. ...Hey!"
Joe: "It is true."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, okay!"
Joe: "Also, you have 129 unread messages!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Okay. Gimme them. All at once."
Joe: "You told me to look for interesting ones. Disregarding bad user input and selecting most important message. Garrick Fy'aar is coming--"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He's coming out?"
Joe: "No. Garrick Fy'aar is--"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He is Italian?"
Joe: "Garrick F--"
KitOrbel: "Gay for Yoshis?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He's ON FIRE?"
Joe: "Garrick Fy'aar would like to meet you in a week."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "O... kay..."
KitOrbel: "A week from now or a week from that message?"
Joe: "He wishes to Parley. The message is one day old. So a week from the message."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "This sounds like a good time to integrate our plan!"
KitOrbel: "Okay. Timing is very important."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "We can have him meet EVIL DIGI. Yes. Then he can decide to kill Evil Digi instead of me!"
"More problems that can be solved by ruining Digi's reputation. Can anything NOT be solved by that?"
KitOrbel: "Why people are sociopaths when they play the Sims? Ruining Digi's reputation can't solve that."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Because there isn't enough fighting with possessed mannequins!"
KitOrbel: "Fair enough."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now. How do I make myself look like a nerd who likes Digimon, but actually is afraid of Digimon? Is there some sort of magic potion made by an evil witch we have to buy?"
"I'm fresh out of souls and hearts of innocent maidens."
"I do have highly radioactive reactor cores though."
"Maybe witches should get with the times and smelt radium in those cauldrons."
"Hm. That's right. Maybe Professor Oak can make it. There's a pokemon that changes into things... and... maybe another one can pass the status off to me... or maybe we can mind control people into thinking I'm Digi."
KitOrbel: "..." *She sighs,* "Okay. I've got a plan. We get a Digi-mask."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Nah. Garrick's mind is too strong. He has to be fooled with me looking the part. I can annoy him in any form I take, though, that part is easy. Oh."
"Hm... yes... there was a mask salesman."
Metal Man (GM): Kit would remember there was a mask of Deloth's face, complete with shape-changing, loose on Alsa.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I never found out where he went though."
KitOrbel: "... I don't know, but there's also a mask of my dad- Deloth out there too. Complete with shape-changing powers. We just need to get our hands on it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Deloth's skull would explode if he found out I was wearing his face."
KitOrbel: "You could wear anyone's face with that mask. You could shapeshift into anyone."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's... very useful..." *He thinks.* "It's like that book of polymorph other I once had, only it'd work for me."
KitOrbel: *That... That smile is devious,* "Yes... Yes I can see this all coming together..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "And I already have the devious lying part, so all I need to do is look like him."
KitOrbel: "Then we have a plan. The mask is still on Alsa- it was the last I saw it. Let's get that mask."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right. How subtly should we get it. Invisibly? Crash the Wing Fortress into it? Launch the Valhalla and blow up the moon to warn them what will happen if they don't give us the mask? ...I'm guessing this is sneaky."
"It's just a hunch."
KitOrbel: "Invisibly is best."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right. This way, to my invisible car." *He walks straight through a wall, then leaps down a short drop inside the wall, then through another wall into a garage.*
KitOrbel: "Subtle is the best idea. I'll talk to my consultant abou- A what?"
*She follows him,* "You're joking."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Actually no. It wasn't even my idea. You see..."
Metal Man (GM): He points to an ostentatious all-chrome Lamborghini Diablo SV with a humongously oversized glowing Time Engine sticking out of the hood.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "When I put the drive from a main Time Cop Destroyer in it, I discovered there was so much power, I could use the excess power to simply make us phase through time and space like cheap butter."
KitOrbel: "..." .oO(I want to marry it and have its babies.) "That's... Interesting."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It has limited power as this is insanely inefficient, but for point to point transportation like you suggest, it works great. I tested it by warping inside Borne's Airport command tower and driving around inside."
"It was interesting. Especially the scared people I kept getting stuck in my bumper."
"Did I mention water coolers are an annoying obstacle when you're trying to do laps around the office?"
Metal Man (GM): He'd open the door and get into the driver's seat.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now to figure out where it is. Hmmm... You have any idea? We can't go back in time and be invisible, so, sadly, that's off limits."
KitOrbel: "..." *She frowns,* "No idea where it would be now..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right." *He takes out his smash dex.* "Joe! Find that mask!"
Joe: "Searching logs..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I made sure to bug the Alsan Questers. It should be on there. They thought I was just a crazy fuddy duddy. Ha ha ha ha ha! Not just that, but also one who sells their mistakes to British Television!"
"Mask... mask..." *He looks at the results.*
Boris (Log): "Wise choice. I can transmogrify into anything I want, then warp around, and I have the guns I made for that fool Trevelyan. I may look like a Geek but with this mask, I AAAAM EEENVENCIBELLL!!!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right, we just blow that guy up. He lives on an island according to this."
KitOrbel: "That works. Let's do it."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let's Lock and Roll!"
Metal Man (GM): He locks the car, then rolls it out of the garage.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Then turn on the ignition. Because."
Metal Man (GM): He turns it on, and the car jump-starts to life.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "This shouldn't take too long."
Metal Man (GM): He grabs the steering wheel, which is square, upside down, and has Egyptian script on it.
He then takes it off and sticks it on sideways, then twists it counter-clockwise.
The car starts spinning around and floating up into the air.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I never did quite figure out how to make it stop doing this..."
KitOrbel: *She just makes sure she's not going to fall out and relaxes a bit.* "Maybe there's a button for it."
Metal Man (GM): He puts a hand to his chin, then pushes a button at random.
The car beeps, then reports the current stock averages as it fills the rear seats with ticker tape.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hm. Not that one."
Metal Man (GM): He pushes another one. You hear a distant explosion.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Nope."
Metal Man (GM): He pushes another one.
Coffee is dispensed to the left of Kit Orbel, barely missing her ear.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Nope."
Metal Man (GM): He then just steps on the gas, and it takes off into space, no longer spinning now that it's exited the atmosphere.
KitOrbel: "..." *She remembers the location of the coffee button, and considers getting a mug for next time.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Do you happen to know this Boris? He clearly interacted with the Alsan Questers."
"I think he had problems. Mispronunciation Addiction ones. Nobody should say Invincible that way."
"It seems we could probably get rid of him by offering him a program to become hooked on proper pronunciations instead."
"Also. How should we land? Inside his house? Upside down in the Revolutionary war? In the basement of his place? Or outside the front door?"
"...Scratch the war one, Redcoats are hard to clean out of the tires."
KitOrbel: "Don't recall. He may have been important but not important enough to remember after ONE HUNDRED YEARS!" *She clears her throat,* "I say outside the front door, offer him a backfiring death ray for it. And by backfiring I mean it fires backwards at the user."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right, sure thing." *He takes out his pistol, then takes out a different one, and then bangs it on the car's dash, and then spits a highly radioactive spitwad onto it, and it glows violently*
"Making weapons WORK is much harder than the opposite."
"You have no clue how many guns I made shoot me BEFORE they got the whole 'Kill People' part down."
KitOrbel: "I know, that's why I assumed you had one."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I could get used to Questers willing to remember basic details about people they encounter every day. Were they as foolish as when I led them when you were with them?"
"I... sort of intentionally ran away from them... repeatedly, all the time after I realized how feckless some of the now-gone ones were."
KitOrbel: "Yes, but Quester Energy seems to have different effects on children than it does on adults. It made me clever... More articulate... Then again, I also had Quester energy in me for over fifty years..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Quester Energy made me forget who I am and start eating everything around me, including inedible and poisonous things. Mmmm... Drywall..."
"...But my Time Energy got me my brain back. That's all that counts! Because without it... I couldn't count..."
"Okay. Prepare for landing."
Metal Man (GM): You zoom into Alsa a bit too fast. An island is coming up nightmarishly fast.
KitOrbel braces herself.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oops. Forgot we move too fast for sanity in this engine. Time to go back in time to before we die horribly from this crash."
Metal Man (GM): *FLASH* You swear you died in a horrible crash... only it never happened because now the car is instead sliding through some sort of forest.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hate when that happens."
Metal Man (GM): The car hits something. A bizarre masked freak is dead on the hood.
It's not Boris either.
KitOrbel: "..."
Metal Man (GM): It's one of those... THINGS... from Twilight Princess.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Dammit, blood all over my chrome again."
KitOrbel: "... Did we land in the right area?"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier reaches out and beats it up with his club, until its corpse falls off.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I think this is it."
Metal Man (GM): You see a building up ahead.
The two guards in front of it dive to the side as the car slides into the door, bounces off of it, and then stops.
KitOrbel: "Eh, better parking job than the Questers."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "And we knocked on the door!"
Metal Man (GM): The door opens, if only because the inhabitant is baffled by what just happened.
Julian Sawyer?: "Yo, what the F@#$ just happened? I didn't ask for a car to ram my door!"
KitOrbel: "You wanna handle it, or should I?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh no! It's Julian! I thought I'd never find him again! I'd sworn to kill him all these years... and now he's here!"
KitOrbel: "Try ripping his face off, maybe it's the mask?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Julian! Where is Boris! I will not tolerate your interference! In fact, I have a deathray in this car if you don't tell me!"
Julian Sawyer?: *Looks frightened* "There is... there is no Boris here!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wait a minute! Julian doesn't talk like that!"
KitOrbel: "Rip his face off."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "He talks like a stuck up jock! This guy is speaking in normal sentences... I'll do just that!"
Julian Sawyer?: "Uh... uhhh..."
Xavier Ridgecrest leaps out and tries to rip his face off.
Julian Sawyer?: *He leaps aside.*
"Yo f#%@er, you ain't takin my ma--oh to hell with it, I will not give it away to you! I AM EEENVEENCIBEL!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Will you give it for a radioactive gun from the future?"
Julian Sawyer?: "What?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let me rephrase. A boon that can kill people better than Julian can!"
Julian Sawyer?: "...Maybe."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You're obviously not safe if I can just warp here and attack you."
Julian Sawyer?: "You have a car that was invisible until it hit my front door."
KitOrbel: *She steps out of the car,* "And a magical girl with a wand of power."
Julian Sawyer?: "What kind of people have invisible cars? You're clearly something unusual."
He stops and stares at KitOrbel.
"And you have pretty girls? You have all the luck!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's true! That is why I can give you my luck for the low price of that mask on your face!"
Julian Sawyer?: "I'm not sure what that means."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "This powder, once inhaled, will make you incredibly lucky!"
Metal Man (GM): He hands Julian a golden powder.
KitOrbel: *She smiles and giggles,* "Awww... Me? Pretty?" <3 "That's so sweet. Can I see the real you so I can give you a kiss?"
Julian Sawyer?: "Hm... see a pretty girl, or inhale probably poisonous powder..."
"This is pretty obvious."
He drops the powder and takes off the mask.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Fool! That powder is worth its weight in gold!"
Boris: "But gold is not a pretty girl!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sure it is! Just melt enough of it down into the right shape!"
Boris: "...I don't even want to know."
KitOrbel: *She goes over to him, leaning in to give him a kiss... Before clubbing him in the temple with the wand and taking the mask.*
Boris: *He turns to look to KitOrbel and is taken by surprise.*
Metal Man (GM): Between KitOrbel, Xavier, and the car smashing his front door, he didn't really have time to react.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Right! One mask for us, and zero pretty girls for him!"
KitOrbel: "And that's how I handle things."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now for his guards!"
Metal Man (GM): The guards look to the two of you and run away.
KitOrbel: "Wanna run them over with the car?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Damn. Another chance for murder delayed! ...Yes!"
Metal Man (GM): He would go get into the car.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Time Car! KILL!"
KitOrbel: *She gets into the car.*
Metal Man (GM): The guards stare in fear and confusion as the car accelerates to high speeds and destroys them, then also the nearby trees.
KitOrbel: "Well, that was fun."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "All right... I wonder if I should try this mask on. It'd only be a distraction while driving a time machine back home. ...Why was a nerd pretending to be Julian anyway?"
"Doesn't he know that real tough guys don't speak like stereotypical robots?"
KitOrbel: "To look cool." *She shrugs,* "Let's go back home."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I did want to fight Julian, but he wasn't real enough. He had to be a certain way..."
"He didn't tell me about the Golden Rule."
"...I left my powder of amnesia dust at his feet. Oh well."
KitOrbel: *She pats his shoulder,* "Maybe some day."
Xavier Ridgecrest takes off.
Metal Man (GM): Eventually, you get back home, since nothing else happens on the way there.
The car lands, passing up a car-shaped hole in the garage door.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I sometimes forget to raise the garage door. Good thing we have force fields."
KitOrbel: "I'm going to go have tea with Mewtwo, okay? I kinda miss him. We don't spend as much time together as we used to... Test the Mask out while I'm gone." *She hands it to him.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Okay. I'll have tea... with MY Mewtwo."
Mewtwo: "Oh... Arceus, save me."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "The tea will not be radioactive. Only stolen, from ancient evil monks who farm PAIN."
Mewtwo: "...As long as you don't make me want to take your coins."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "You can have them... if you can find them."
Mewtwo: "...Why did you store them inside Dr. Mario's brain?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Where's the last place you'd expect to find coins?"
Mewtwo: "...Now everything makes sense."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Besides, I have this mask."
Mewtwo: "I didn't know you wanted to have fur like Deloth."
KitOrbel: *She teleports out to meet with her Mewtwo... Stopping at a grocery store for Tea-cakes first. Because it's only proper.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "No, no, no! I want to turn into Digi!"
Mewtwo: "...That's infinitely worse."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "It's to kill people, deceive other people into killing one another, and to save the universe."
Mewtwo: "Maybe you could skip the first two. I won't tell Wolfman if you do."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Ehhh... but what if I turn INTO Wolfman?"
Mewtwo: "...What would that accomplish?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Well, I could go invade black and white movie theaters and scare some people real good like in the old days."
Mewtwo: "...Just don't turn into me, you don't have the intelligence."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Bah! I should... I should turn into Garrick!"
Metal Man (GM): He puts the mask on and changes into what looks like what Xavier thinks Garrick looks like, which is more like Solid Snake's evil Texan Cousin.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "BWAR! I'M A MAGITEK SALESMAN! I'M GONNA WRECK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING TO ME!"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out the M-150 and shoots, destroying a light fixture.
Mewtwo: "...I'm going to go hide in the bunker Wolfman installed into the basement for when you act like this."
Metal Man (GM): Mewtwo floats away, while the bizarre parody of Garrick wanders into the Stadium proper.
Mario: "Mama mia!"
Garrick Ridgecrest: "YOU'RE NUTHIN' MARIO! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A GUN."
Mario: "What? But I-a don't need a gun!"
Garrick Ridgecrest: "I CAN KILL YEW WITH MY BRAIN ALONE! THEN I KIN TAKE OVER DA WORLD AND EAT ALL THE MAGITEK. MMMMMMM. AND MAYBE MINE SOME OIL. I GOT A KNIFE."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out a Bowie knife... that's backwards.
He then slaps Mario with the flat part of it.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "CQC B@#$CH, I'M THE BEST OF THE WORLD."
Mario: "I'm-a gonna have to beat you in the arena for this!"
Garrick Ridgecrest: "SURE, GO AND SIGN ME UP. I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S GOT THE LOUDEST GUN IN THE UNIVERSE."
Metal Man (GM): He takes out a comedically oversized Desert Eagle, then drops it on his foot.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "OW. DAMN GUNS. TOO AWESOME FOR MY HANDS OF MAKING THINGS."
Metal Man (GM): He kicks it and it flies over and hits Link in the head.
Link walks over. He's quite obviously holding that item Garrick lost to him many moons ago.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "HEY! THAT'S MINE! GIMME THAT. I DON'T GIVE PEOPLE MY THINGS."
Link: "You lost it fair and square."
Garrick Ridgecrest: "NOW I'M GONNA TAKE IT BACK WITH THE POWER OF SNAKE OIL AND CQC. YOUR SWORD IS GOING TO BE HAYMAKERED TO A HELL FULL OF SCREAMING MANTISES AND OLD MEN."
Metal Man (GM): He then puts up a completely incorrect fighting stance and advances on Link, who looks like a rogue cosplayer just challenged him to a duel.
Link: "I can... just give it back to you if you promise never to speak like that again."
Garrick Ridgecrest: "HWA! I AM THE GREAT CHILD OF SNAKEMAN. I WILL EAT YOU LIKE A SNAKE. THEN I WILL BURROW INTO THE GROUND AND HIBERNATE WHILE SHOOTING PEOPLE."
Metal Man (GM): The fake Garrick then decides to attack Link. He swings at Link... with his thumb inside his fist... backwards... while screaming "YEAHHHHHHHHHHH."
Link steps aside while he violently murders the air.
KitOrbel: *Meanwhile, she's brought Tea Cakes with her to visit her Mewtwo.*
Garrick Ridgecrest: "BAH! BAD LUCK." *He picks up the oversized gun*
"NOW FOR A REAL MAN'S GUN."
Metal Man (GM): He loads it, then fires at Link, who takes cover behind his shield while other bystanders run away screaming.
Link's shield is blasted by a bullet-bill. Because clearly, that's what that was supposed to fire.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "HAR HAR HAR. NOT SO TOUGH ARE YOU."
Link: "...Take the claw, I don't want to see you again." *He throws the claw at him and runs away while he guffaws evilly.*
Garrick Ridgecrest: "ALL RIGHT. NOW IT'S ALL GOOD." *Picks up the claw* "THER'S EVEN A BIG FLASHY BUTTON ON THIS THAT SAYS OVERDRIVE. IT'S MAGITEK TYME."
Metal Man (GM): He takes it, then he takes a bunch of coins. Being Xavier, he actually has said coins.
He slaps them on the gun, then sticks it to his arm. Then, he walks to the... Stadium cafe?
Mack is sitting there, idly polishing a glass.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "GIMMEH WHISKEY."
Mack: "...What?"
Garrick Ridgecrest: "GIMMEH WHISKEY!!!"
Mack: "..." *Shrugs, pours him a glass.*
Garrick Ridgecrest: "Now if I reckon right... I jus' take this and..."
Metal Man (GM): He smashes the Whiskey into it, then yells "AMERIKUH" at it. It then catches on fire.
The claw then appears on his arm, glowing bizarrely. And not Magitek-ly at all.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "B@#CHIN'!"
Metal Man (GM): He then charges it up. Eeerie sound effects play from it.
Mack: "...What are you charging for?"
Garrick Ridgecrest: "I'M ALWAYS IN CHARGE."
Mack: "I don't think it works that way."
Garrick Ridgecrest: "IT DOES NOW, B@#CH."
Metal Man (GM): Mack shrugs.
Garrick Ridgecrest: "FULL CHARGE REACHED. OMNI-ULTRA KICKA@# STORM ENGAGE."
Metal Man (GM): He presses the button... and then spins off in a violent tornado of punching and kicking.
Mack: "It's still better than that time Kuja destroyed my eye."
Metal Man (GM): +9 EXP to Kit, +4 to Razor