Date: 6:07:27 PM, April 7th to 7:40:07 PM, April 7th;
4:44:07 PM, April 11th to 6:33:05 PM, April 11th, 2013.
Metal Man (GM): Right, let's get this show going. I have explosions to show off.
You're facing down with the there "Original Characters", characters so original I intentionally forgot their names already!
OC #1: "You... you killed my grandfather's brother's vegetable plant! I must avenge you with the way of the macaroni parrot!"
Metal Man (GM): Marley grits his teeth and crackles his knuckles.
Valron: "...I usually don't say this sort of thing so soon, but."
Marley: "I've been wanting to punch characters just like these people for a VERY long time."
Valron: "I am going to grind all of your worthless bones into dust."
Marley: "Let's kill these things!"
Metal Man (GM): BATTLE
Roll inits--Agility/10.
Order: Marley, OC 2, OC1, OC3, Valron
Marley: "Your boss helped kill me and destroy the country I once loved! I think that trumps your made up backstory, huh? No? How about THIS THEN?"
Metal Man (GM): You don't need him.
Really. You. Don't. Need him.
Just watch.
He runs up to one of them and then glows, his fist turning a teal color.
He then goes to punch the freak in the face.
*SLAM* You hear the sound of teeth flying everywhere as the OC gets knocked backwards and takes 36 damage.
Valron: "...Good one."
Marley: "Was it enough that you took my dignity alone, Sloan? Did you have to make me fight such FREAKS? How about THIS?"
Metal Man (GM): He then leaps up and smashes the ground, causing a massive explosion of Alsan energy.
It's a spell, so all 3 of them take 14 damage.
The explosion also breaks the massive screen, causing it to fall off its perch and crash to the ground.
OC #2
OC 2: "YOU... I WAS BORN TO KILL Yoou. YOU MONSTERRRR!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): The green man stumbles up to Marley and tries to kidney-punch him.
He falls on his face.
He gets up and tries to kick Marley in the shin real hard.
Marley gets hit in the shin.
Marley: "Ow ow ow!"
Metal Man (GM): -2 to his dodge for 1 round.
OC1
OC #1, who looks like a bulldozer came and smashed him, gets up, wipes the blood from his face, and tries to punch Marley blandly.
Marley gets hit, and takes 16 damage.
The character swings at Marley again.
And fails.
Oc3
OC #3 decides to try his luck with punching at Valron.
He falls on his face. (Glitches don't count in this system.)
He then gets up, shakes his head, and tries to rocket into Valron's face with a spindash!
10 damage if hit.
Valron: *Steps back a little, before lightly shaking himself off.* "Oh, is that all?"
OC3: "This is only the beginning of a beautiful hateship!"
Valron: "...Yeah, you're going to be the first to die."
OC3: "A million years my bloodline has waited to avenge the day Dragoshi ate their spaghetti!"
Metal Man (GM): Side note: I'm loving this system so far. Everything feels... so much like I want it to be.
Even formerly boring characters can cause GIANT EXPLOSIONS
Valron: *Rolls his eyes before taking a deep breath, before exhaling as he just... stops talking. He would then level his machinegun at OC3, before firing two whirling waves of frozen destruction at the abomination!* (Silent Fury -> Frozen Cyclone -> Onslaught Frozen)
Metal Man (GM): Despite good rolls, OC3 is hit both times.
-1 CT--what does CT stand for again?
Ah, right.
OC 3 also basically gets his face handed to him, and looks sorta like #1.
Marley: "What do you think of this, Sloan? Eh? You think you can push us around with jokes?"
Metal Man (GM): He takes out his Mad Man Pistol.
Marley: "Your stupid abominations are no match for a Mad Man and a Defender! In the name of Alsa, I kill these... things!"
Metal Man (GM): He leaps up into the air, then fires downward at the ground with the pistol. Alsan energy flies from him and causes a gigantic shockwave.
Valron: *Simply nods, as he just stares down the OCs, waiting for Marley to slaughter this trio of fools.*
Metal Man (GM): All three ate swept up in a massive Alsan Energy explosion.
When the explosion is over, they are gone.
The energy washes over the area, causing bits of it to fall apart and break.
Valron: "...Mmh. That was simple enough."
Metal Man (GM): Sloan's image appears on a different wall, one which is still flickering.
Valron: "I was expecting something vaguely threatening."
Sloan: "Hm... I guess fake names and fake histories only led to fake powers."
Valron: "Truly a lesson for the ages."
Sloan: "Of course, I have realized that I made a miscalculation."
Metal Man (GM): He would point at you and the duo.
Valron: "Oh?"
Sloan: "If I let you simply escape, you might actually pose a threat to my plans... and I can't have that. You and your... meddling in everything, and annoying catch phrases... or lack thereof..."
Metal Man (GM): The floor opens up before you.
Sloan: "If you want your useless Heroes, then you will have to take them. Heh... heh. Heh."
Valron: "Oh boy oh boy."
Metal Man (GM): A mech rises up out of the pit.
The cockpit is obscured. It appears to have a rocket launcher on one side, and a minigun on the other.
Sloan: "Someone will inevitably sue me for this, I'm sure, but once you're both dead, I shouldn't have to worry."
The Arbiter: "This will be no problem for me."
Metal Man (GM): He walks to engage, only to freeze solid.
Valron: "I haven't even brought out the big guns yet."
Sloan: "Nuh-uh-uh! Open Source programming! I can't turn the Arbiter against you like I would like, but I can lock him out of attacking my machines."
"Spectactular as earlier was... I have no plans on just letting you steamroll everything I have."
Valron: *To Marley* "So... blow up the rockets?"
Sloan: "So. Show me your worthless powers again. Maybe we'll talk if you survive this."
Marley: "Smash the cockpit! It's like a GUN walker! Except... stupider... who in the world makes a huge glass cockpit like that?"
Valron: "I can sure as hell do more than just smash, let me tell you."
Marley: "Same for me. Let's do this."
Metal Man (GM): Roll inits, I'll gen some stats and we'll go for round 2.
Valron takes a deep breath, before nodding.
Metal Man (GM): Order: Sloan Mech, Valron, Marley
It fires a rocket at Valron.
Matching dodges fail, but matching blocks succeed. Which is it?
52 damage if hit. If succeeding block, double your DR against it.
The mech then... fires a rocket at Marley.
Marley is hit.
Marley: "Urgh."
Valron: "Egh..."
Metal Man (GM): He gets knocked about by the explosion.
The mech means serious business. It stands there, in its bizarre pastel purple-green metallic paintjob.
It stands on two legs, and has its armored glass cockpit, which is completely opaque.
Right arm is the rocket launcher, left arm is the minigun.
Marley: "You alright, Valron?"
Valron: "I can probably take another hit from that thing, but after that there'll be some trouble..."
Marley: "Not to worry, I have the power to heal. You just focus on killing that thing."
Valron: "I'm gonna need that, then. Preferably now."
Marley: "Right..."
Metal Man (GM): Given you go on the same turn anyway, Marley uses his magic on you. Ancient Echidna runes appear around you, and you regain 50 HP.
Marley: "Now give that thing a kick in the glass."
Metal Man (GM): Marley then gestures and creates a barrier around you, which will entirely block one hit.
You may continue doing your turn--Marley has finished his.
Valron: *Takes a deep breath, as a faint prismatic shimmer appears around him, before it flares up into a cascade of blues. He would then focus his eyes on the cockpit, before leveling his machinegun at it, before firing out an explosive hail of raw, destructive force, tearing into the cockpit, reeling back a little as some of it lashes out at him!* (Energy Cascade. 50)
Metal Man (GM): The mech violently gets exploded by the energy combination, bits of glass flying everywhere.
It... then continues standing, a third of its health exploded, but it's still there.
It levels its minigun at Valron and lets fly a hail of bullets.
And using the Onslaught attribute, fires another attack for free.
The first hit breaks the wall.
Then you take 10 damage after that from the machinegun 'hit'--that's the first attack.
The second attack is 10 damage, but effected by double DR due to your block.
It continues firing a hail of machinegun bullets at you after you mostly tank the first onslaught.
Valron winces slightly from the first hit, but doesn't even respond to the second... or the third.
Metal Man (GM): The gun jams. It ejects a broken cartridge, then fires with much better accuracy.
The third was the one that utterly failed. The fourth is the threat.
That one finally nails you for a total of 45 damage.
Marley: "You'd probably be in much more trouble if it wasn't for me."
Metal Man (GM): He heals another 50 health for you.
Valron: *He nods* "Yeah, I'm glad to have you with me."
Marley: "Now be a bit more careful this time, as I need to help damage this mech or we'll be here forever..." *He decides to go to attack the mech.*
Metal Man (GM): He leaps at the rocket launcher.
Marley: "Damn your stupid technology to hell, Sloan!"
Metal Man (GM): It blocks, but still takes damage ..then Marley uses Alsan energy to ignore its DR.
...And the block attempt...
...And he gains +4 against the block attempt...
...And his weapon destroys enemy weapons when he gets more than +2...
...So basically it goes to block him, then that allows him to supercharge his much and PUNCH THE ENTIRE ROCKET LAUNCHER ARM OFF OF IT.
It stumbles backwards, completely unprepared for the Alsan death punch.
Marley: "Hit it while it's stumbling, Valron!"
Valron: *He would then take a deep breath, before looking much more serious as he re-aims the machinegun at the cockpit, unleashing four violent waves of green fire at the cockpit, the first of which is glowing a very sickly shade of green!* (Silent Fury -> 5 EP Enhanced Alsan Caustic Flare -> Onslaught -> Caustic Flare -> Onslaught. I do have 3 TP, so... :v)
Metal Man (GM): It... fails to block anything.
Anything at all.
The second hit causes the entire thing to violently explode.
Valron: "...Like that?"
Marley: "Exactly!"
Metal Man (GM): Sloan's image would show up, then flinch as part of the mech flies and smashes into the very screen he's projected on.
Sloan: "Welll... well... uhhh..." *He clears his throat.* "I would have had an entire army to meet you, you see, but... you weren't supposed to be here and..." *He straightens his tie.* "...Take your worthless heroes and get out."
Metal Man (GM): Some Sonic-style capture container appears, with Sonic and the others KO'd inside of it.
Valron: "Just give them to us and... Oh. Perfect."
Sloan: "That was still only the tip of my sword. If you make your presence any more annoying, I will... well..."
Metal Man (GM): Several doors open up, revealing... 5 more of those mechs.
Sloan: "...GET OUT.."
Valron: "...Right! We'll take our prize and go, then."
Marley: "Let's... get out of here then!"
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter wakes up.
The Arbiter: "...I hate being so full of holes."
Metal Man (GM): He picks up the container.
Valron: "Okay, good. We'll be off, then."
The Arbiter: "...Yes. Let's leave this inefficient corpse-filled wasteland."
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter slowly starts walking away.
Valron nods, before following The Arbiter.
Sloan: "The nerve... the nerve... mark my words. I will bring more mechs, and I will use ALL OF THEM... so don't cross me again!"
Metal Man (GM): The Sloan image then vanishes.
You start to leave. On your way up, you see he has mechs... mechs everywhere.
He clearly does mean business about you leaving.
Marley: "I don't know what got him so mad..."
Valron: "Me neither..."
Marley: "It seems to have happened after you did the thing that blew his mech to bits... Do you and Sloan have some history I don't know about?"
Valron: "I don't think I've ever seen him get so cross. ...Well, he also kinda has the same powers I do."
Marley: "...It makes sense."
Valron: "So maybe that could be it?"
Marley: "That weird thing you did... it's something I saw Sloan do."
Valron: "That's because he has my half of what should've been entirely mine."
Marley: "You... must be something like him. ...Which means you can uniquely tear apart his machines. ...Which means he's going to work extra hard to kill you from now on."
"I think he thought you were one of those dumb Alsan Questers."
Valron: "Fun. I'll just have to work twice as hard, then."
Marley: "The kind who believe that intentionally placed washing machines are actually theirs. The fact you didn't sit there like a fool and blew apart his mech and used teamwork... it was probably culture shock to him."
Metal Man (GM): You'd reach the Stargate.
Valron: "...Heheheh. I like that."
Marley: "Wonder what Tails will think of this..."
The Arbiter: "Answer: Probably concern, followed by trying his best to revitalize his friends."
Valron: "In any case, he calls those mechs? I'll show him some real goddamn mechs."
The Arbiter: "They are in suspended animation, the only means to contain otherwise incredibly speedy and resilient beings."
Marley: "We ought to get some of our own. I fear if we don't, his army of machines could overrun Alsa. Did you see them? He has... hundreds of those. We tore one to pieces easy enough, but we'd all die by about the 10th one."
Valron: "I already have the idea for a combination of the MTAs and Dauntless-class ships, but..."
Marley: "And for some reason he claims the ones here aren't even the full mass of his forces..."
Metal Man (GM): The Stargate is fully open now.
The Arbiter: "Whatever the case, we have won a small victory, based on your foe's ignorance."
Valron: "The problem is resources and the whole... 'transforming from bot to vehicle' thing. Maybe." *He steps into the gate.*
The Arbiter: "Let us keep up the pace, so that he can never catch up again."
Metal Man (GM): The Arbiter walks into the portal, as does Marley.
*WHOOOSH STARGATE SPECIAL EFFECTS FROM 1990*
You show up in the Master Emerald cavern. Tails is awakened from his sleep by the loud crashing of the Arbiter through the portal.
Tails: "...You guys certainly took a while." *He'd scratch his head and yawn.* "...Wait a minute, you actually brought them back? Sonic!" *He'd immediately break open the container, finding Sonic still KO'd.*
Valron: "Sorry we took so long. Kinda had to take a small bite out of Sloan's toy box."
Tails: "...I guess you aren't lying then..." *He would sigh.* "But that means it's almost too late for you to do anything..."
Valron: "Almost too late?"
Tails: "Borne seems to be uniting everyone... and is making some claims about removing Illian. The Echidna appear to be following his lead, and the only people who are on the edge are the Mushroom Republic..."
"Mostly because of their hatred of anything the Questers touched, including the intergovernmental mechanics they made."
"Apparently the Questers let Eggman rule their country for months unchecked and it's still effected them."
Valron: *Glances at Marley* "...Ah. Weren't we going to talk to them as well?"
Marley: "Yes. We should hurry, because what we need IS a united Alsa... but probably not the kind Borne, sane or not, would make."
The Arbiter: "I should stay here to guard against Sloan or Borne."
Valron: "Indeed. For now, we shall have to make the best of this before we try anything rash."
*He would not to The Arbiter* "Go ahead, then."
The Arbiter: "The Stargate has no iris. Anyone could come through, including hundreds of mechs."
Tails: "Right. I can come with you instead. I'll have some of my remaining friends here tend to Sonic and the others... ...Do you have a ship, by any chance?"
Valron: "Aye. It should still be where we left it."
Marley: "...We rode in one Borne gave us, that probably isn't the best choice for contradicting his orders, now would it?' Of course, that doesn't mean I don't have one."
Valron: "Well, then."
Marley: "The Questers did their best to destroy my old ship, but let me tell you! I fixed it when no one was looking!"
Valron: "Good on you, Marley. Good on you."
Marley: "Between that and the constant binge drinking, that was the only thing that kept me from killing myself! God damned sadistic losers! The next group of costumed crusaders who get lost can starve to death!"
Tails: "..." >_>;
Marley: "Oh... sorry. I just get these flashbacks and... yeah..."
Tails: "As long as you don't do that in front of the Mushroom Republic Delegation we should be fine."
Marley: "Right, let's get going before Borne can trick everyone into claiming him as their Emperor like a bunch of braindead yutzes."
Valron: "Let's."
Metal Man (GM): The group would then proceed to the edge of the continent, where the ship is. Wait a minute... Marley's fishing boat can fly?
Marley: "You know, I was a Mad Man. I had always intended to restore the jets on my ship, but SOMEBODY vomited all over the controls! ...Then they planted a weed farm in the engine!"
Valron: "Didn't know you were into fly fishing."
Marley: "Damn teenagers!"
Valron: "What."
Marley: "Yeah. They were... some sort of hedgehog-echdina thing... about this tall... had a pot pipe... ...James Bond killed them..."
Valron: "Oh, that idiot."
Marley: "You know? Yeah. Him."
Valron: "I thought- yeah."
Marley: "I had to spend weeks pulling out rastafarian propaganda from the transmission!"
Valron: "That guy. I think he might've had a rainbow house of lords wig at some point. Or maybe that was someone else."
Marley: "No, that was his son, who came from the future to avenge his death."
Valron: "They all blur together sometimes. Oh my god."
Marley: "Get it straight. They're entirely different! ...Not. That one didn't leave as much of a mess. But I had to remove that one closet and eject it into the ocean."
Valron: "Let's... just get to our destination before I start getting horrible flashbacks of my own past life as a Quester"
Marley: "Akusai had thrown up one time too many in there."
Metal Man (GM): Marley takes the controls, and the amazing flying ship takes off, while Tails looks vaguely ill from the discussion you had.
Valron: *Just glances at Tails* "My apologies."
Tails: "...You know... not everyone has to be special... I never got why so many normal people of my kind wanted to be like me... I got picked on all the time for having two Tails and was entirely alone until I found Sonic, and even then..." *He shrugs.* "I was never good at talking to people..."
"...So then everyone else wants to have the same defect I do, and to always live in the shadow of someone much better than them at all the cool stuff?"
*Shakes head* "I'll never understand it."
Valron: "People are strange. I just left it at that ages ago, to be honest."
Tails: "... By the way Marley, your transmission is still--"
Marley: "I know!"
Tails: "And the gaskets are--"
Marley: "I KNOW."
Valron: "We can fix it later!"
Tails: "...You tried to fix them?"
Marley: "Then I got drunk and forgot."
Valron: "Drunk spy gig, right?"
Tails: "...Remind me to fix this thing, because there is really no reason it should work."
Marley: "We're flying somehow!"
Tails: "That's what has me afraid."
Valron: "At least that works!"
Metal Man (GM): Tails sits down and shrugs.
The ship makes its way towards the Mushroom Republic.
There, you see a crowded metropolis. A metropolis ZONE, as it were.
Only instead of Robotnik buildings, you see Toad houses made of steel.
Giant spotlights are all around Peach's castle.
Tails: "Robotnik really did a lot to this place! ...It feels so cold and empty."
Valron: "...It kinda feels odd, yeah."
Marley: "You'd be cold and empty too, if the Questers left you to die."
Tails: "They did do that though."
Marley: "Oh, right. Sorry."
Tails: "It seems that was their way of greeting everyone."
Marley: "We can probably pass a law punishing all Alsan Questers with death when we're done."
Tails: "What? No. Just send them to the Special Zone or something. I couldn't in good conscience kill people like that."
Marley: "But they'd go insane in there!"
Tails: "Aren't they already insane?"
Valron: "You're saying they aren't insane?"
Marley: "Good point... We can banish them all to the Special Zone then."
"Maybe it'll learn 'em to mess with us."
Editor's Note: While most of the players of the Alsan Questers long ago left, I contemplate that maybe this is the ultimate fate of some of them.
Metal Man (GM): The ship goes to land on the docking bay of the Mushroom Kingdom castle.
However, you see... a Borne ship made it there first.
Marley: "S@#$! He got here first!"
Valron: "...Welp."
Tails: "Don't worry. They still hate him."
Marley: "How do you know?"
Tails: "He's been demanding they join him in increasingly desperate tones. Something is holding it up."
Marley: "Well, we have no time to lose. Let's hurry."
Metal Man (GM): Tails would nod, then run off far faster than either of you ever could.
Marley: "...D'oh. I forget how fast those critters are."
Metal Man (GM): Marley runs after him, sorta fast but nowhere near as fast.
You can follow. Or you can mess with the Borne ship.
Or wander off a third direction.
Up to you.
Valron: *He goes to follow behind Tails and Marley. Best not to screw around with the ship and bring undesired bad attention.*
Metal Man (GM): You'd walk into a conference room, in the middle of something.
Sergeant Levis: "But your honor, it is entirely fair that--"
Peach: "No! Not another word of your lies!"
Valron: "Hm. What's all this, then?"
Peach: "You left us to be conquered in the Great Eggman war, and now you come asking us to defend you from a threat?"
Metal Man (GM): Levis stares at Valron with eyes of murder, then blinks and looks "neutral."
Sergeant Levis: "I was just negotiating a fair contract of alliance."
Valron: *He returns the cold glance with one of his own for a moment before going neutral as well* "And failing miserably, it seems."
Peach: "Not at all! No reparations for all the Toads... we lost many Super Mushrooms worth of productivity to that occupation."
Tails: "Ma'am, if you have a moment, you really shouldn't even bother talking to that guy."
Peach: "What?" *Looks down at Tails* "...You look similar to those Echidna that Waluigi and Wario tried to ally with."
Tails: "No, no. Those are allied with Borne."
Sergeant Levis clutches his collar.
Peach: "What do you mean... this person is allied with our old enemies?"
Sergeant Levis: "Building bridges is what we do--"
Peach: "Enough! You can leave now, Levis. Between this and the other problems Borne caused us indirectly, we will have no more."
Sergeant Levis: "But... we offer you all the damages, just not the ones caused by Robotnik, for as you must understand, he was also our ene--"
Peach: "Do I have to have the guards escort you out?"
Sergeant Levis: "I can take any guards--er, but... I..." *...He shakes his head and walks out, glancing at Tails and Valron with a "I will be back" look.*
Peach: "Now that that unpleasantness is over... may I ask who you are?" *She would look at Dragoshi.* "Well, I recognize Dragoshi..."
Tails: "We're here to discuss a different proposition than what he asked."
Metal Man (GM): He'd then gesture to Valron.
Valron: *Rolls his eyes at Levis, before looking at Peach* "...That name is one I've thrown away. But... yes. On a more important note, that is indeed what we are here for."
Peach: "What is it? Who do you represent?"
Marley: "It's a long story, and..."
Peach: "I'm short on time, though... We have to react to this threatened invasion of the 'Dweezil.'"
Valron: "I represent Illian Macgregor of the Protectors."
Peach: "I see... will you be able to protect us from these Dweezil?"
Marley: "...Yes and no. Your help will help us protect you."
Valron: "Aye. That is why we came here to talk to you."
Tails: "By which he means, I can easily reverse engineer the tech Robotnik left here, and create a means to de-roboticize your country."
Peach: "Huh?" *She would pause.* "What does that mean?"
Tails: "...Make it like it was before Robotnik attacked."
Peach: "Oh... ...for that, we would gladly assist you. Using our technology... both that which is ours and that which Robotnik left here before that dreadful man left this world."
Marley: "Good. Work with us, and... Illian and us and Tails can get things working."
Peach: "This sounds fine to me." *She would then take out a tablet computer... and look at a screen.*
Metal Man (GM): She'd type some things and put it down.
Peach: "Come back in a day, the people are going to vote on your proposition."
Marley: "Do we have a day?"
Tails: "As long as she doesn't ally with Borne in that time."
Peach: "Coin Heavens, no!"
Valron: "I'd figure as such."
Peach: "That worthless man kept trying to steal our machines for his own use while letting others attack us... I shall tell you the results tomorrow. You may rest here, or... come and go and your leisure." *She would curtsy.* "Now I must be on my way. Many important meetings with the Defense Board about the Dweezil threat..."
Valron: "I should show him what I think of such idiocy, but... I am not in the position to do that. Not yet."
Metal Man (GM): She would nod, then walk off politely.
Valron: "...And I see. Thank you, ma'am."
Metal Man (GM): Marley would punch his palm victoriously once she was out of sight.
Marley: "We'll kick that bastard's behind out of power in no time at this rate!"
Tails: "Technically it will take a while..."
Valron: "Let us not get ahead of ourselves."
Marley: "Still! We have a chance..."
Valron: "Exactly."
Tails: "...I don't like what Levis said or how he looked at us, though."
Valron: "Agreed."
Marley: "Bah, phooey! He's nothing!"
Tails: "I don't think we should fly back."
Marley: "Why not?"
Valron: "...You too, huh?"
Tails: "He's going to shoot us down, and succeed."
Valron: "Exactly."
Tails: "That bucket of bolts will fall apart. He has the most powerful ships in the area."
"We have... a flying raft."
Valron: "If we even do anything with that ship, it'd be repair it. And even then we'd need to hold off on that."
Marley: "..." *Sighs* "May as well rest here and repair the ship then. Just like old times..."
Valron: *Pats Marley on the shoulder* "At least we're getting somewhere."
Marley: "Sure... let's go find a bar, I'm thirsty. I hope whatever stuff they sell here doesn't make he grow 10 feet tall... I'm too old to be a basketball player..."
Valron: "And I haven't eaten much of anything all day, myself."
Tails: "...I'm going to stick to repairing the ship, myself."
Marley: "Good idea. I'd get strange looks bringing someone like you to a bar, anyway."
Tails: "...No comment." *Walks off to the ship.*
Valron: "In any case."
Marley: *Chuckles* "Let's go rest before Sloan and Borne decide to team up and have a lethal fashion show that fires missiles in our direction."
Metal Man (GM): He'd go walk down the metal catwalk towards the local Mushroom Republic downtown.
Valron chuckles as well, before following Marley.
Metal Man (GM): And... we pause here.
Mostly because I could keep going, but silver GM needs food badly.
+6 EXP to Valron
Metal Man (GM): To Go Where Only Insane Men With Psychotic Disorders Go
Last time, on Xavier's side of Confrontation--
Xavier and Gelato stand there. The other members are not there because of magic video game logic that causes them to pop in and out based on when they are around. Don't bother questioning it--it might make you insane.
Gelato: *Sittin' on Xavier's head.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I have the strangest feeling that months and months went by despite standing perfectly still... and I'm still alive, so what do I care?"
Metal Man (GM): He would look around the debris and dead Sloan guards and shrug.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I guess something or another killed them. But enough sitting around. It is time for ACTION!"
Metal Man (GM): The door ahead is locked. It's some space-door.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hmmmm... let me see..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out his TT33 and points it at the door.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Open Randy Travisani!"
Metal Man (GM): *BLAM BLAM BLAM* ...It doesn't open.
Gelato crawls down and goes to examine the door more closely.
Metal Man (GM): It's a magnetically locked space bulkhead. Airtight, but with plenty of gaps between the seams in the side of the door to see inside the mechanisms. There's a bunch of wires inside that go to a palm reader.
Xavier stares at the palm reader.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I wonder if this thing will tell me my fortune..."
Metal Man (GM): He sticks his hand on it.
Computer: *BZZ* "You are not a human."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes I am!"
Computer: "Temperature detected consistent with corpses and robots."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "So what if I skimped on the fancy stuff? It's still a hand!"
Computer: "This hand was last detected punching one of Sloan's guards to death."
Gelato: o.o *He crawls over the fancy talking palm reader, sliding under Xavier's hand.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's not a problem!"
Computer: "Error. Unknown contaminant in system."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's more like it! Uh... ...mimic one of those dead guy's hands, Gelato. I'm sure we'll get in!"
Gelato: "...cheep?" *He splats himself against the pad again.*
Metal Man (GM): The pad malfunctions some more.
Computer: "Unknown contaminant in system. Authorization not accepted."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...It seems to be too smart to fall for that. Go inside and eat the wires or something! I'd shoot it, but my last attempt did nothing but make it more cyberpunk looking."
Gelato: :D *EAT. He crawls inside and attempts to eat the wires.*
Metal Man (GM): The wires jolt, they deal 10 damage to Gelato. Not piercing DR though!
Meanwhile, the door's locks malfunction and the door becomes ajar in the slot.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now it's my turn."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier curls his metal hands into claws.
Gelato: *He crawls back out, gnawing on some insulation with 0 damage done.*
Metal Man (GM): Then he stabs the door with his fingertips.
He then goes to move his hands. He does nothing but make a hideous nails on chalkboard noise.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Right. I don't have claws. Those are only in my imagination."
"...This should do."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out a huge obsidian axe.
It's covered in cobwebs, but not creepy ones. Rather, ancient, dead ones.
He stabs the door and slowly pries it open.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There had better be gold on the other side. Otherwise I'm going to destroy everything on the other side, melt it to slag, and manually extract the gold particles until my rage at having to do all this work goes away!"
Gelato: "Cheep."
Metal Man (GM): The door slowly opens, revealing a much larger room.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Finally. No more barriers!"
Metal Man (GM): A force field appears around the core controls at the center of the room.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "DAMN YOU LITERARY TIMING!"
Metal Man (GM): The room consists of a circular set of walkways, a huge pit, and then the center thing that's force fielded.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I could really use wings, or a jetpack right now... or a piton gun..."
Metal Man (GM): Alarms go off.
Computer: "Intruders in the core. Intruders in the core. Dispatching Soldiers to destroy Intruders."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Thanks for the heads up, dumb computer! I'll recommend you to all my friends!"
Metal Man (GM): A bunch of soldier guys, 4 of them to be precise, walk in, wearing sequin-studded purple and green armor, and holding bizarre angular guns.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oh no! The Vidal Sassoon company has gone into combat armor and guns! What will I ever do!"
Soldier: "I hate my job..."
Soldier 2: "Shaddup! It was either this or work in the Glitter mines!"
Gelato bounces up and down excitedly. More people to play with!
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now you'll have to tell me where the glitter mines are, before I reduce you to a giant pile of glitter."
Soldier: "Never! No one lives who tells Sloan's secrets!"
Soldier 2: "And we get 25% off a cheeseburger if we kill you!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...All right, that's quite enough! I'm supposed to have all the bad lines!"
Metal Man (GM): BATTLE
Roll init. (AGI/10)
The Soldiers go to attack, and fall over eachother in unison.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "That's what you get for bringing sequins to a gunfight, fools!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier, Gelato, Collection of Failure Goons
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let me put on a little show..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out his TT33 again, and... points it in front of his mouth. WTF?
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I like to call this song... 'Yellow Submarine in Bullet Minor.' YELLOW... SUB... MAR--" *BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM.*
Metal Man (GM): The room fills with bullets flying everywhere, as the men recoil in confusion at what just happened.
Their armor protects them from the damage, but they are all dazed and unable to dodge from the effects of the music exploding their eardrums with gunshot noises.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Curse you, tactical Sequin Armor!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier looks at the pit, then to the dazed men.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Yes... yesssss..."
Metal Man (GM): He runs at one of them.
Unable to dodge, and unable to block...
Xavier picks up the dazed soldier and holds him over his head.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Metal Man (GM): He hurls him screaming into the pit below, violently killing him.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...It's been a while since I've done that."
Gelato: :D *He makes a large smile at Xavier's carnage, staring at him. It fuels his thirst for blood! Kill! KILL FOR THE GEL DRAGON!*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now to see what you can do, Gelato. I left plenty of them to kill. Or... maybe you can assist me. I never DID bother to check your powers..." *He would stare at Gelato.* "...Yes... yes smiley little dragon. I will kill them all! And then I will kill this space station! Ahahahahahahaaaaaaa!"
Gelato: *He then bounces over to one of the soldiers, trying to chew on his gun. It smells tasty.*
Metal Man (GM): His bland attempt to dodge doesn't even register.
Gelato: *Great, now the rifling's all messed up. DAM/ACC -1.*
Soldier 2: "First I lose Joe to a freak pit accident... now a dragon made of goo destroys my favorite chartreuse fashion pistol... what is the world coming to??"
Metal Man (GM): Soldiers
Soldier 2 tries to shoot Gelato, the best he can.
Normally I would ignore glitches, but that is too hilarious to ignore.
Still, the glitch happens after it fires.
So, dodge or block, your pick.
Gelato: *Block roll?*
Metal Man (GM): Resist/10.
You're hit for 25 damage. DR counts though.
Then his gun explodes in his face, dealing him 25 damage too.
Soldier 2: "Gahhhhh! Ruby Sequins in my eye!"
Metal Man (GM): He can't attack any further. Meanwhile, the other two decide to not risk their guns being exploded and open fire en masse at Xavier.
Gelato: :3 *He chirrups as the bullet just warps him momentarily. 0 damage.*
Metal Man (GM): Xavier manages to block one of them outright. The other three hit him, his armor deflecting some of the damage--he only takes 18 damage.
It's sort of like trying to shoot a walking armor statue.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Hah! What do you think this shiny chrome is for? Decoration?"
Soldier 3: "This isn't in the contract! Sloan didn't tell us he'd actually buy real armor!"
Soldier 4: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I'm not even done getting started on the end of the beginning of your ending's beginning!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out... the Deathmachine.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ahahahahahaaaa!!!!"
Soldier 3: "Oh no! He's weaponized a trash can!"
Metal Man (GM): The Deathmachine glows violently, then spews a series of garbage at Soldier 2.
Soldier 2 is violently exploded by 70 damage as I discover there is buffalo blue cheese sauce on my calculator. *Cleans it off.*
Metal Man (GM): Soldier 3 watches the hapless Soldier 2 die from being impaled by a cheese wheel that explodes.
Soldier 3: "Genetically modified Swiss! Argh!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Now... YOU!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier takes out the Star Board and flies at Soldier 3 at high speeds.
Soldier 3 gets totally smashed by the attack, taking 52 damage as Xavier crashes into him and causes him to tumble around and get hit 3 more times before Xavier returns to his spot.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What did you think we were, tourists?"
Soldier 3: "Urgh... call for backup!"
Soldier 4: "We ARE the backup!"
Soldier 3: "The Backup Backup!"
Soldier 4: "Now you're just making up words!"
Soldier 3: "No. The thing! The THING!"
Soldier 4: "Ohhh... that thing..."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I don't want to see your Thing. That would just be gross!"
Soldier 4: "No, no, it's just a giant person-killing--"
Soldier 3: "SHHHH!"
Gelato: *He climbs onto Xavier, surrounding him with a skintight gel suit as he stretches out, He's even more armored now!* (DR+16, Block+4, Dodge+2. EOT)
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wow... it's like being inside Skyhigh's brain! All... strangely blurry and yet having a thick armor shell!"
Metal Man (GM): Soldiers
Soldier 3: "Right. You call for backup."
Soldier: "I'll shoot this... thing..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier holds up a hand and blocks it.
Then he blocks it again.
Gelato: *Boing.*
Soldier 3: "...That's it, this is pointless. Get the THING in now!"
Soldier 4: "Didn't Sloan say--"
Soldier 3: "DO YOU WANT TO BE THROWN IN THE PIT OR KILLED BY SWISS CHEESE???"
Soldier 4: "N-no!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I assure you. I can throw you AND the THING into the pit!"
Metal Man (GM): Soldier 4 presses a button.
The station rumbles as even more alarms go off.
Computer: "Deploying Thing Hash Intelligence Nuker Negator Gigantos."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Wow. It's the world's lamest name."
Editor's Note: Can't even be properly THING, it's THINNG...
Metal Man (GM): The floor opens up, and a figure appears.
It's not even the size of a skyscraper. It's a person.
Soldier 3: "Wait a minute, it's nowhere near as giant as they said!"
Soldier 4: "Who cares, we can use it as a blast shield!"
???: "The f@#$ you will, meatbag-idiot fusion."
Metal Man (GM): The being steps out of the shadow. It appears to be... ...a Julian made out of HK-47-like metal and parts???
Soldier 4: "Oh god! It's the hideous thing we were told never to release!"
Soldier 3: "Shut up! It's going to save us!"
???: "Goddamn f@#$in' losers. You're just f@#$in' out of here."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Ha! You want to fight me? Fine. I'll show YOU who can curse more extravagantly! LINKSHOT LINKSHOT LINKSHOT LINKSHOT"!
Gelato: "Chirp."
Metal Man (GM): The other three just stare at Metal Man for a moment, while I load up the stats. (One sec)
*Beep* Finished loading.
Robo-Julian: "Mother f@#$er, you ain't got S#@T on me!"
Metal Man (GM):
BATTLE: Vs. Robo-Julian
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Sloan may have created a metallic clone of my greatest arch-nemesis, but he will NEVER know how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop!"
Robo-Julian: "Three-hundred fifty eight."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Nooooooooo!!!!"
Robo-Julian: "Nice f@#$in' barrier. Too bad it's not worth a damn!" *Leaps up and goes to Haymaker Xavier*
Xavier uses 5 EP to boost his roll to 3; he takes... 1 damage with the successful block.
"...What th' F@#K?"
He shakes his head, then goes to punch Xavier again.
*SLAM* This time he actually connects, dealing a solid 34 damage.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oof. I see you haven't lost your shape... strange robotic clone of my arch-nemesis."
Robo-Julian: "What th' f@#$ are you ramblin' on about? I only remember bein' made and told to kill YOU."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Curses. The only banter we shall have is between me and a robot who LOOKS like my foe, then."
Robo-Julian: "Shutda#$@kup already."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There is no shutting, but there is 'up.'"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier then laughs malevolently as he takes out his DVD launcher.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Dodge THIS!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier holds it up to his mouth and screams violently, causing it to fire a supersonic-flying DVD of "Catwoman" at Julian's face.
It explodes violently in his face, slowing him down and doing next to no damage.
Robo-Julian: "...You jus' don' get it, do you."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "But I hit you! See!"
Robo-Julian: "All that did was make me want to kill ya FASTER."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Not if I kill you EVEN FASTER!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier then spins up the weapon... and fires a cloud of DVDs at Julian, one after another. It's an entire series of bad comedies and MS3TK films. And Julian goes to dodge, but is slowed down by the still-vibrating field that hit him earlier...
He dodges one.
Another one misses entirely.
The other 4 hit him, dealing a total of 40 damage.
He now has bits of DVD stuck all over his body.
Robo-Julian: "..." *Seethes.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "What's the matter? Bad cat movie stolen your tongue?"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier stands there, breathing a bit heavily.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Those punches still hurt like the dickens... even with the metal... stupid inhuman strength..."
Gelato unstretches himself and then goes full speed, wrapping up Xavier's wounds and busily putting things back into place, his former clear color now bloody. Xavier regains 58 HP from his efforts.
Robo-Julian: "Oh f@#$ no. You did NOT just heal all those wounds."
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Uh... I didn't?"
Robo-Julian: "..." *Seems to be powering up for an attack.*
"Unlike my organic version, I'm much more f@#$in' organized." He takes out a sledge hammer. "I don't have to f@#$in' LOOK for this anymore. Which is exactly what I'm needin', because your obnoxious @$% lines have gotten on my nerves for the LAST F@#$IN' TIME!"
He then runs at Xavier, bent on smashing him to pieces with the giant steel sledgehammer.
Metal Man (GM): Xavier tries to shield himself with his axe.
The dice Gods roll in his favor on the first one. Robo-Julian's eyes practically bulge out of his head.
Robo-Julian: "What the F@#$? When did YOU use an AXE?" *Second swing*
Metal Man (GM): The second hit, however, slams into Xavier for a massive 80 damage and cracks his armor.
Editor's Note: Actually, Season 9, but Sloan probably didn't copy all of Julian's memories to this robot, since nobody to my knowledge ever actually stole his memories to begin with.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Argh!"
Robo-Julian: "That's more f$#$in' like it!"
"You think you're tough because you got f@#$in' armor? You ain't s@#t! I'm MADE out of metal, you f@#kin' poser!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "I must admit... Sloan's Thing is annoyingly realistic, and also even deadlier than the original..."
Soldier 3: "Hooray! We're winning!"
Robo-Julian: "I'm gonna come for you next, you f@#kin' losers! Sloan told me to kill whoever summoned me!"
Soldier 4: "I told you we shouldn't release the Thing!"
Soldier 3: "But... but... ...Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!" *Runs away.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "This is tough... I can't really do much damage... any attack I throw at him might just miss entirely... Aha..."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier runs up to robo-Julian with the DVD launcher.
He then... goes to violently smash it into his face.
*SMASH*
Shards of the Smurfs movie are left in robo-Julian's eyes.
Robo-Julian: "What da F@#$ is wrong with you?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "There's nothing smurfing wrong with me, you smurfing fudge popsicle!"
Metal Man (GM): Xavier then backs up... and hurls his DVD launcher at Julian's head.
Julianbot's head is knocked askew, as he stares around, confused.
Robo-Julian: "What... ...where am I... ...what the f@#k did you do?"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Nothing at all. Or maybe everything. The Core can be a hard movie to understand when it's launched directly into your brain. Do something quick, Gelato. I don't know how long my DVD launcher will hold him off."
Gelato: *He seems to already be bored with these strange, shouting men. It crawls down to the floor, looking for something to play with.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Even with all that I can't seem to damage him fast enough to get rid of him. Even I know that he probably has rocket boots, so as much as I do want to hurl him into the abyss, it seems like that'd fail."
Metal Man (GM): The floor has volatile electrical conduits that seem to be hyper-charged.
Given OSHA doesn't rate it a violation to have lethal destructive forces completely inaccessible under the floor, there's easily enough to blow this room to bits.
And of course, wouldn't you know it, but inside weird glass tubes...
Highly tough but brittle ones, apparently.
Gelato: :D *Sparky things! Obviously, they must be brought together.*
Robo-Julian: "You gonna jus' f@#$ around forever and think I'm gonna not kill you? Go ahead, but I'm gonna show you who's th' best--ME. Not that inferior person I was copied from. ME. Not YOU. ME!"
Gelato: *He promptly drags a small metal wrench over to bridge the conduits. Sparkies + metal = MORE SPARKIES.*
Metal Man (GM): A large explosion rocks the area, and the force fields die, as a giant fire starts on the floor.
Soldier 4 is busy contemplating his doom when the explosion causes him to be launched into the air, on fire, and then down the pit.
Soldier 4: "I REGRET WEARING THIS OUTFIT ON THE DAY I DIEEEEEEEEEEEEAAHHHHHHH" *Smash.*
Robo-Julian: "I'm gonna... gonna kill you... wherever you are!"
Gelato: *Clearly, this is the happiest day of its life. So many fireworks!*
Metal Man (GM): 1 = ???, 2 = himself, 3 = Gelato, 4 = Xavier.
Robo-Julian: "That's righ'... you're goin' down!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Oorgh."
Metal Man (GM): Xav is sent flying by another high-powered punch.
Robo-Julian: "None o' your dirty tricks can stop me!"
"You hear that? I'm gonna KILL YOU!"
He then leaps over to the highly volatile core of the space station.
"Call da Ambulance, because when I'm done with you, they're gonna--"
*SMASH.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...He really did it. He defeated an entire Space Station."
Metal Man (GM): The entire room is full of debris and explosions. Xavier slowly gets up, while the smoke clears.
Gelato: *Well, that was fun. Back to Xavier's shoulder!*
Robo-Julian: "...STILL ALIVE!" ...*Stares at being stuck on the station platform by debris* "Oh HELL No. You're goin' down for this!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Let's get out of here before he really does get a chance to call the amber lamps."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier flips out his rocket skateboard and leaps on it as the station around everyone slowly explodes.
Robo-Julian: "This isn't over! I'm gonna kill you! And that Soldier 3 guy! YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!"
"F@#KIN' COWARDS!"
Gelato: "Eeeeeeee~!" *He flies along with Xavier, squealing happily at each explosion.*
Metal Man (GM): That's the last heard from the "Thing" as Xavier flies away from the collapsing space station.
Soon, you're back at the ship. Xavier sits down in the chair and launches free as the station near the hole in reality disintegrates.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...Pheeewww... that was far too close."
Metal Man (GM): Xavier picks out a giant piece of shrapnel from his visor.
Xavier Ridgecrest: "Had he actually targeted me, I might have been killed. We're going to need to take it slower, unless I want that Robo-menace to kill me and display my decapitated head as a trophy alongside a facsimile of Charles'. Or maybe figure out why my backup keeps disappearing."
"But the good news is... we blew up whatever the heck that station was."
Gelato: "Chirrup!"
Xavier Ridgecrest: "...I still have no clue what it was for though... oh well! I captured all kinds of data on its core in the moments before Robo-Julian reduced it to slag."
*Opens the dex* "Hmmm... what in the... what is a Mad Man... and why does it seem to reference an egg made out of gravity?"
"...I'll have to ask KitOrbel, because I have no clue."
"But, good work..." *He coughs out a piece of metal* "...Because for the first time, I managed to upgrade from a loss to a match ending prematurely due to space explosions."
"...Maybe some day I'll actually defeat him... or maybe next time I'll just run him over with my car... repeatedly..."
Gelato: *Down to Xavier's hand.*
Xavier Ridgecrest: *Glances at Gelato.* "At least I have you. No screaming about crystals or Golden rules. That got very old, especially that Dark World nonsense Aetos used to spew."
"DARK WORRRRLD!"
"DORK WAAAAAD!"
"If he came back, I would pay Julian-bot to kill him, just to ensure he stays dead."
"Luckily that isn't happening." *Dash beeps*
"Oh, right. Better get out of here before Dweezil Capships see us."
"...And I still need my car back from Alsa!"
*He flies the REDITS back towards Nintendus.*
Metal Man (GM): ~UNTIL NEXT TIME... THEN THERE WILL BE EVEN MORE EXPLOSIONS.
+5 EXP to Gelato and Xavier Ridgecrest